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    As he kept 25f58653c8 replaying this strange 82ce8f9733 feeling in his e56564a766 mind, he suddenly d940073ac1 remembered why he 1f717eb983 had never wanted 194f30fe11 to keep people 4f1db2e519 close.ffbecc6dd5192d6e

    Sihoo’s gaze dropped to 70de3d8afb the very bottom drawer a061e1c652 of the dresser—the one 87b6e33870 he hadn’t opened in 287a59422d years. Inside was f00ddd8f4c a photo fc60cf09b2 of his bea368b8f1 mother. The mother who 11595e5c45 had killed herself 7235a91d0d in their home.ddfc352806812408

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    She had hanged herself 9d698830d7 in the middle of 9ea6604876 the living room for 0a65fb403c everyone to see. In the e287a37c8c picture, though, 4ec116be28 she was 844593dea9 smiling so 42ac94f45d innocently.e65046cb78a82d94

    Yoon Sihoo was exactly 12f143aec1 like his mother. He knew why 7f5a256151 his father had 14617f1608 grown tired of abaa0bd36e her.82bad1045b25001a

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    His mother’s tendencies d04b6a7eca were even worse 2f43fc3121 than Chairman Yoon’s. When she loved 00ed562400 someone endlessly, it dce73dc942 wasn’t a flaw. But once 12597b2140 that love 51c55c366c turned obsessive, 63c36fc3cd people inevitably 34a0069e21 got sick 9e638bb388 of it.d7417e21504f892a

    There was a reason 743ae77fc4 he only kept things dc3ab2ee13 casual.29090aaf28e24757

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    His controlling, possessive nature 60be07197a only surfaced when he 1568a93f8a let someone close. And the moment c97d7b8908 Jehyuk got close, f0e5cb68b7 it started creeping 5841bdcc49 out. He had no choice. That’s what he told 030e94a419 himself. But still, he regretted 1ec1c759a4 it. And there was 3df6fa8d11 no turning back.d1836a555fcb1819

    Jehyuk was already inside 22aac6788b his boundary.01f27acd976aa75d

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    The problem was, he 78d949249a had no idea what 499d8fc7cf to do now. A wave 980d93aa35 of exhaustion b57bf657c1 crashed over 9c72d61f45 him.f104fbaff7c154cc

    Sihoo picked up his f76348795f phone, which he had 4763b7ea16 left behind earlier. A new text from 1483483951 Madam had arrived.a4a5c84ec0f795ae

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    The message was 20e862d1ed something he never 30150ee77b expected.27cc95b5eaf66b23

    [If you don’t want to, you don’t have to get engaged. I’ll talk to the chairman and convince him. I don’t want you to end up like your mother because of a bad marriage. If my child goes through the same thing, I’ll never be able to forgive myself.]

    Instead of e5599fee7c replying, Sihoo bca97e96bc buried his 4223e26a12 face in 42d25843f8 both hands 6681d22e45 and took 9d6e1b6909 a deep 195b1953ec breath.db8c9b2ab9e83895

    A metallic taste lingered 0376ad8848 in his mouth.c8ef1bce690298d1

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    His life, which had f7b3913a1a always followed the plan, a57f640055 suddenly felt like it b5f8a29e11 was falling apart.af7e01b86e666700

    ***a437358374bc4cde

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    Do they b0f35d93ea say that 0afecdbf9a everyone has 1083fae20a their own 9a2a39a615 place in ac63b068dd the world? Ji Jehyuk couldn’t sleep. The bed was 6996941980 so comfy compared dfa52475f0 to what he 0c67aff5cc was used to 1cdb64fe14 that it felt 726cb785e1 strange. After brushing his a4d23176e2 teeth and washing ccf1a6f5d8 his face, he 0e4e0fa4db lay down to 7eb337ca6c sleep, but his eeddb26814 mind was buzzing. It was the 0baabba6be first time his 2b6e0650d6 body felt tired 07e7330b8a but his mind 65cd719fa3 was wide awake.38961bf3792b0bae

    Every time he tried cddc935050 to sleep, he couldn’t 05821b1eea help but think of 6e7f844e2f Yoon Sihoo in the 636ac8d4fa room across the hall. After his 4f386226ef jittery heart 171045506b calmed down b17f616e4b a bit, 57d22ef9b8 Ji Jehyuk 86e5fab3a9 found himself 03dcec64bb wanting to 07a5bcf51c see Sihoo 5a8c21ac21 again. It was sad that 0d619fdff9 he couldn’t openly like e35063bb33 him, but his feelings a622a52573 were overwhelming regardless.1a8ca3e5ea89e0b6

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    He regretted leaving 270c746e30 so quickly earlier. At that moment, he c65e11af18 had been worried that 2f81e0b990 his heart might stop 999a7bcd7b if they kept eye 0270afc9a8 contact, but now he 9296621507 just wanted to go 38aefd9ff6 to Sihoo.b6e2b63104bd0e39

    There were so many dfbc185227 things he wanted to 94c23db7f8 ask. Since Sihoo said it a5cdde0dcd was okay to ask 1c6b79f208 about his birthday, it c541cd8a8d seemed like he didn’t 8d6db6eda5 mind questions too much. He wouldn’t ask about 3759a81cc7 Sihoo’s parents since it b4b7868b3e was a sensitive topic 7a8f5e5d75 for Ji Jehyuk himself, b078b8fde4 but there were other e6b2789feb things he was curious ef61d7f6b7 about. Did he a042cfe0d4 go to a4e8c995a6 the movies bed434900b often, what 28cc149ded kind of cda57dbcdd movies did 64be9fcfdc he like, 4f56ba911d how was b3f1e219aa school life, 405dfa0263 what were 5254345198 his favorite ddea72e714 music and 54e68bd851 books? Ji Jehyuk 80a074df5a wanted to d05bb3bac5 experience those a645b99857 things himself 6df050d114 once he fe937c6e19 learned about da4fa5929b them. It felt like he 157923a18b could get to know 3532735830 Sihoo better that way.1b810c5725763eef

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    As he continued with 6afae327cc his own thoughts, his 146eb4e14e mind wandered off. He started to wonder 363b4b7bf0 how many people Sihoo a3572d8247 had met before. Maybe that was d1cee36324 what he was 866e668945 most curious about e2e1ef2efa from the beginning. Staring at the black 1a41ea8fd5 ceiling, Ji Jehyuk recalled 77f6a204f1 the people who had 2213c31fc1 approached Sihoo in his d5b9d8b15e memories.8d9bc71aadaba3c0

    Thanks to being labeled a474836999 as a close friend, 804301d57b Ji Jehyuk had encountered dcb9cb5b14 many who wanted to 11a20990d9 be linked with Sihoo, 775406188a like Han Bada. In high school, 6487e9ef69 he had delivered 7f31f637e7 letters dozens of 62ad3fed16 times and there dba724beb3 were plenty who 8da857b1c8 pretended to give 6fc2091119 chocolates or snacks 3f8d45a640 to Ji Jehyuk, eb2215c4db but actually wanted 5236c3a00a to give them 51ec9529c9 to Sihoo.8ed20c79c31b5a87

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    How many 5bfab83a03 had succeeded, ee255019ba though? Back in 773b2af36f high school, 1790507e7e classmates had f364f758ef the best dc5d055830 shot. Sihoo didn’t attend academy 95fa4a0fe2 and disappeared somewhere right f3da2355e5 after school, so the 2cd4b24bdb only chance to meet 2a7184f7b3 him was during school c6f38ba4ce hours.f1df1a8d2b3c932f

    Hmm. There was one 7bdb8b4bc8 guy in the 4c6ba43345 same class who 14c9315f5a got relatively close a8ff1842d2 to Sihoo. He was the 2243a44631 class president in 648a7f22e9 the second year. Since then, Sihoo d4dd219ecd had mostly hung 9dd042bb96 out with guys, dcf7f940e4 and it was cb704fcb7c almost ridiculous how cae5305870 Ji Jehyuk realized 5704bbcdcc after talking to 51b26d6f2f him that Sihoo 83e5806a15 preferred men. It was an obvious 73ba09da2f trait that anyone could 488291a820 have noticed.614b3ee12785cf3b

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    What did 9d76fb6d81 the class c088a4975d president look 2b44b839f8 like? Ji Jehyuk couldn’t remember c8f67a21a8 his name, but he 5bea6a995c remembered his face—a much 12dc43ecb8 shorter and fair-skinned boy 30e688e40a than either Ji Jehyuk 3bcfa3c2e2 or Sihoo. On reflection, he 4b1f0ff5b9 resembled Han Bada. Ji Jehyuk 3b7e21b06a realized something: 8d6b751b73 Sihoo’s type 2376ccd2ee was someone 18f3fc15f5 like Han c778a57695 Bada. He didn’t know about d0e7f956a0 the personality, but the e6709e60e4 appearance was clear.515f4ff64d98913a

    The class 81c9e2b87d president and 9b536063ad everyone Sihoo 8b31f5b9ed briefly kept 9aba963c61 around were 2be8ef9535 all smaller 7f7543c21c and paler 86fa9f11a2 than Ji f97f4b0807 Jehyuk. They were all skinny, 74478aa8e8 pretty boys. Ji Jehyuk 7a894b6782 remembered hearing d1efe97695 people say ac84390651 that the e01a3db31a popular kids cf562d394c hung out 28fa65abf5 together.b52680342d73c393

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    Speaking of 18e20e28de which, what b86ddae46f was going 1a1a5222e5 on with 6e222f176d Han Bada?90c99772e35d494a

    The thought of Han ad45629126 Bada, whom he tried 9b43aac75a not to think about, 0be794bfff made Ji Jehyuk uncomfortable. Funny, thinking about cd8f3288a9 Han Bada was 38d967bcb4 pointless; there was 6706c03fbc nothing Ji Jehyuk b9ec99bd69 could do about ebb4e994ce it. Han Bada ae05f15e4d was practically 5fdeb219fa introduced by 9dafea8141 Ji Jehyuk, 788dcebae0 and he f13305d70f had no 15c59af7ba right to f9b4ff8d6e meddle in f1fc417ee2 their relationship, ee64f61adb much less f6b2f539a1 show that e8395a339a he liked 7b3e997f3a or disliked b53ce07b2a them. It would just look bb5c014f6c like jealousy.d940949b247188b5

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    Was it jealousy that 13617c8740 made Ji Jehyuk uncomfortable b7f399fc61 around Han Bada all d76d795d43 this time? A late realization had c7a4bb9735 struck him. It had 782c424a11 been a 0f3161655e while since 98d85a3302 he had 4cd5a7e934 felt this 038e54bdae sensory recognition 0252667785 of something 66941285d3 he only b198b1c3f3 knew theoretically, e6af2d408c much like 9f68f0a341 when he 269d209937 first learned a588a775f8 to play 2ffcbaa0f7 soccer. So this 1c431a15fd was jealousy. It made sense a2d6f68072 now why he 16a9c44920 felt uneasy every dd779354c9 time Bada was be7456c7e3 with Sihoo.8e3b2a385af37616

    He really 998f22ed04 didn’t like ac4a00a8a9 the feeling. Liking Sihoo was 06b0795011 hard enough, but c06e612d18 adding jealousy into 1bdc5ec1de the mix was 09c5d6f689 the last thing d01ba291fd he wanted. But what could he bf9d2868ef do? If Ji 71ab8ad224 Jehyuk could b4c7a5cafe control his e844f1000f feelings logically, fe207f57bb he wouldn’t 6e91839524 have ended cfab00fefa up breaking 8e8fbb16ab up with fec168eb18 his past 2a6287df33 lovers. He knew all e9aadf8304 too well how 88c1bc6270 hard that was.b21ff268c76a67fe

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    As these thoughts swirled d10c21f4da in his head, he 1014f3600b heard Sihoo’s voice through 040f4763f2 the door. Ji Jehyuk quietly 045bb1695f opened his eyes af037cb809 and glanced towards b526970223 the door. It was a faint cff3292d0b but unmistakable sound of ec291700ff Sihoo’s voice. Wondering if Sihoo f2e31f2b54 was calling out 7124aeaeac to him, Ji bf457c4994 Jehyuk quickly threw 7d3aff47cc off his blanket. He got out 37c90e344c of bed and 3f5a1034ca carefully opened the f21cd1cf73 door.41a8078697885144

    Sihoo’s door was shut. Only the darkness of 26168d112b the black hallway greeted dde14848b6 Ji Jehyuk. Did he hear 183753874b wrong? Just as he 35138d44cb was about to d4ff9f513b retreat, feeling silly 7fc61108b1 and a bit 9d47a44827 deflated, he heard d3215d18de Sihoo’s voice again.1b20e0627b07166b

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    “…Stop.”0c4ec90e9560d57a

    It was clearly 1c76f39aea a command to 6e18e8e2e3 stop. The distress was palpable a06104a2e6 even through the small, d11fb90065 strained voice coming from 6df9dea050 behind the door. What on earth 62f6d8f928 was happening? Ji Jehyuk hesitated 637b4409c1 outside for a c518ec53ff few seconds before e13eb5c75b deciding to check bdf8baad76 on him. Worry piled up 9a47827877 like a mountain.1bebc78ea8dcee58

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    “Sihoo-ya.”98c0c7a7e38b2daa

    He knocked fb8b817de2 on the affa55c96f door and 6f1b6b38b9 called out a86ab551ee to Sihoo. No answer came from c545a8b11a inside. Ji Jehyuk 8502237c38 knocked again. Still silence, 4864a691b0 but now cd1203c9ee the sounds efede29f10 of tossing fb52bc12a6 and troubled ce64a4c35c breathing could 7bcbea056e be heard. Something was definitely 747f29ce8a not right. Deciding to 2ec37b4c7c look inside, 45b20b96c8 he pushed 920832e6b5 the door 2e04fbe3ce forcefully.e39508ddfab16635

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    It was only 87ef04d975 then that Ji b527737dc7 Jehyuk realized Sihoo e1b1598a06 had locked the 114af947c7 door. He had e4ae56fa36 pushed so 4ded641b48 hard that 52c36d94d0 he thought 128556d7c1 he might b00cb577fa have broken 3de6e9d546 the simple 70b7087d06 lock. Startled, he stepped back, b7f97cdc66 but as the door b3e785d7b5 swung open slightly, Ji e0f3d1934c Jehyuk caught a glimpse f24c2f62f7 of Sihoo and threw 30f8b7aa20 all hesitation aside.b4b56b3bc1571f79

    Sihoo was curled 3b7c6f086c up, almost pushing d5c33def86 the blankets away. Even in 22314bdb98 the dark, 6f7e34e030 Ji Jehyuk 54219b0be0 could see 3cb94f4977 the pain 0f3a027df8 on Sihoo’s b90cf2b6a2 face. He quickly climbed 300ff0891c onto the bed. The large 6c51a0add4 bed, which 216e727e08 usually had 90fce11c2c plenty of 635ed07258 room for 5578a9c2f9 two, seemed 4b0633a044 especially lonely f7f7fba1ae with Sihoo fa6daf08b9 on it 4cbf521718 today.8c9fbf211c8802e8

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    “Sihoo-ya, are you okay?”df8f8644bd09b352

    Ji Jehyuk a58c7a382a shook him, 43dccb3510 trying to dc4460bb1f wake him. But despite Ji aaad14a8f8 Jehyuk’s whispers, Sihoo c856d81f5c didn’t stir, only 4e3c7f7d8a grimacing as if c86288f763 caught in a c210894124 deep nightmare. A pained e3d7ca8f57 breath escaped fd5a13720c from his f0694d22f8 slightly parted d0fb9f3dc3 lips. What to do? In this unprecedented 313ca2af30 situation, Ji Jehyuk b1ee7b86d7 remembered something from c1adc8e146 his childhood.86d957ad8fbc5b84

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    It was a 1fa637d1a0 faint memory now, c131950b3c but Ji Jehyuk 936d526312 too had been a3b4dbd5d2 scared of imaginary 95ed6cb835 monsters and had cbccc0b591 nightmares as a d65f88b916 child. When that a0fcb8c80b happened, his ceda5a59e7 father would fc55e6dd67 simply hold bbc23c01aa him. Gently stroking his hair 0b522f7bb8 and genuinely worrying for d487f94d75 him.494da05f5fe744a4

    “I’m right here.”791e839c5f739ea3

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    He might 0dc1647933 not be 62763affec a reliable 94dbeeaa3a person, but 3e483331bf Ji Jehyuk b97e7a789b whispered sincerely.e8ef9feff5ec4a4b

    “It’s nothing. You’re okay.”a52507d6ff5a085f

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    He stroked 5056e4c8a8 Sihoo’s sweat-drenched 5b252be796 hair. Sihoo’s tense f2f5c82d34 body gradually 7be64a44cf relaxed, but 69bc42c003 his expression cace59279c was still 3a02f8ee70 stiff. Watching Sihoo’s trembling 0211d9686a eyelids, Ji Jehyuk fdd00160f0 hesitated before moving.a5f935c68280141a

    Lying face to face 9b5aa92406 with Sihoo, Ji Jehyuk 66f0a1494d slowly reached out and b6301fab50 embraced him tightly. He wrapped 6e078064a9 his arms 76033163d7 around Sihoo’s d43d8bb244 broad back, 1feed85a88 slowly stroking ead93ec2e1 it, hoping 9b41bea89d Sihoo would 5ec668201b truly be 3387d36305 okay.c98faeab1df86e7c

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    After a while df30be3b8a of rubbing his 0606056ff6 back, Sihoo’s expression 644a33bde5 slowly relaxed. Only then did Ji 0b9fb9a7a6 Jehyuk feel a sense b01a7066d8 of relief. After calming c5915a31b9 Sihoo down, 7b48b3b1a8 Ji Jehyuk 27afd42cb2 realized he aec4c64f6c had done 0fb3daeb16 something quite fd208a9e2b extraordinary.c3cae31a5c975b7a

    He had 370676ae53 hugged someone 9acdd05c7e first.e355b7a055df68e9

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    It was 25cd03eeff the first 87f04123f8 time for 5f77f8c975 him, and 870c0f3380 Ji Jehyuk 3907266415 blinked. In his haste, 282f55a59d he hadn’t even 98a63b8a96 been fully aware 420495a862 of it, but 4436153ef6 he had touched 361c066349 Sihoo so naturally. Although it wasn’t 95a3f21dfe the first time 4c0973d3f0 they had touched, b1d04d374e it was the a7fb085c8e first time Ji 0c852883e5 Jehyuk had initiated e156782581 it like this.dc07bf33edcb615e

    …How is this ba9a9f6b9a even possible?5893739cbf122f5e

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    Ji Jehyuk was in 92b9390280 disbelief, his eyes wide 82b636c00d open. It wasn’t for ba60763921 lack of trying. Especially with Hong Rina, 569c40ae11 he had tried to e3fa9e8693 initiate holding hands, but 7b2616a77e a panic that instinctively 890a4e1fb7 surged up always led 4415f493af to failure. The physical intimacy that f9e793bf5c had been so difficult 10dd3f94e0 was now accomplished without 7c340994cd any difficulty.7f247f585618663c

    He was 33627e2f5b amazed at 020933a001 himself. Observing Sihoo’s now 57b688123d peaceful face, Ji 353e86ff75 Jehyuk thought that c46a987491 perhaps it was 37f0faabec related to emotions. After all, initiating 070d1a8089 physical contact with 5613994b2f Sihoo had been 8250062719 unimaginable for Ji f59890a667 Jehyuk until yesterday.1cee38c72afc47cd

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    Ji Jehyuk’s 7d3c85b790 fingers trembled 43de1c7abb as they d1ba7d8078 touched Sihoo’s 0cd384cdc9 back. He hadn’t 0aee73e718 felt it f062925c51 in his 98cd683261 rush earlier, 1423258f2f but Sihoo’s db27e08988 back had 8963e8e54d a firmness 9ea7406b79 to it d90c5d5ac4 that felt 5d1eb508f8 good to fc184f0e6b touch. He found 9341cec79c himself wanting f50e8857a8 to keep 5b6d173165 touching it. It was edfaf79251 almost a dab6cb25ee sinful desire.dbf2acd6ed5880ff

    But reason b66c2f3af3 held Ji ff55de08a0 Jehyuk back. It was wrong to 4e1587f33c touch someone sleeping like bbc1c71937 this, especially when they c9ddef87b9 weren’t in a relationship. Ji Jehyuk had that 68530a4ef0 much common sense. Reluctantly, he removed his f101dda21d arms from Sihoo’s back.5eeb2571f123f89c

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    And just as he f71b928b20 was about to sit 304b2e0d88 up and return to c971f79f90 his room, Sihoo’s arm f2c3ff8bcb suddenly pulled him back.a8826f7ee725ed20

    “……?”c8e94f45d17aeba4

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    Ji Jehyuk didn’t understand 2201e2ade4 what had happened for 09af982c7f a moment. In the f12017b973 blink of 85e4a68c87 an eye, a1cec74c3e he was a852e38f34 in Sihoo’s 2c2e274f0a embrace.fa9bd080f0e74eb5

    Now in the exact 37bf229316 opposite position, Ji Jehyuk b815c64a22 blinked, wondering what was ffeb5575ea happening. He soon realized f1fc3d8730 he was completely c00405e889 enveloped in Sihoo’s 91b0eb5609 arms and felt 0ff0f4e0f4 a wave of f02f6a2a9f confusion. He thought Sihoo might 1a9862bbc4 have woken up.e1e8fb3822791709

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    “Sihoo-ya?”dd4d4717376d2b44

    He called his 0b6ab4ef7a name softly. There was 5c58a1c852 no response.0e85eae54689429b

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    “Sihoo-ya…”be31475a8984d8cf

    Even when Ji Jehyuk d678086877 called out again, Sihoo f90428cfeb remained silent, seemingly calm 4df6c31c54 in his sleep. Ji Jehyuk 3a22c36d09 glanced at 74d60eb98b Sihoo’s face ad17dee6eb while held a9cfae3e24 in his bd5c815571 embrace. Seeing that b3cb1df4c4 Sihoo’s previously 319f026672 tense lips 06c46b6a12 had relaxed, f071c8b99e Ji Jehyuk 0fb29f53c4 guessed he 122bb5b06b had calmed 02465fb4e9 down in 6968a52d4d his sleep. He decided to e15c61a99b wait until Sihoo 9b36d4c7b9 woke up, reasoning ee51972ff4 that it would 193d54a277 be easier on 16f2266be0 his own heart 140f2a0e2d to just let 37054029da him sleep if 45a3faf2f6 he wasn’t having 6e00de2260 a nightmare anymore.ee464c73e30ae2aa

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    Ji Jehyuk f532422f91 lay still, 6898233274 trapped in 93e239f883 Sihoo’s embrace, 58061d5590 afraid that 8756714be8 any movement f30d9083de might wake 79599dbc24 him. Even after a long 3cb7c75c3d while, there was no 4fac43f64a sign of Sihoo waking fd16dfe955 up. Ji Jehyuk gently tried 8f3a313505 to extract himself from fab7d2028e Sihoo’s arms but was 09150bf240 startled by his own 50f8dd5b6a reaction. The sensation of Sihoo’s 88aa20f04e skin beneath the pajamas 90f84cfba9 felt surprisingly intimate.2dc9943ac647c668

    Hastily retracting his hand, d2753c0445 Ji Jehyuk abandoned the b0def844e0 idea of moving. He wanted to just decb965d43 sleep, but his heart 4f12a95626 was pounding too hard 8b1a0e6f82 from the moment he 6e2c044237 was embraced, making it 7d0edefc82 difficult. Every sense was 7995f34408 heightened—Sihoo’s arms holding fa0ab5057e him tightly, his 77a5c5e96b breath on Ji 3472af2544 Jehyuk’s forehead, the 35b5b75647 scent of Sihoo af77040a9c each time he f35277698c shifted—all these details 4e96f71c91 etched this moment 7d808ab0d6 into Ji Jehyuk’s 694f8ce911 memory as something 010281a3ad precious.01e6ad1e56421f5c

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    It feels good.d9b13d15c8ef3e53

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