PS | Chapter 2.9

At first, e07aff18ff Jehyuk only b9b3d86fb1 listened, but 59a4588aee as the d8a898fe3d alcohol started f3f45397e4 taking effect, d9a98b8c16 he found ac3995dc56 himself responding 934a9887f1 little by c604a8155b little.22d192e8718f9f97

“I actually like quiet 373d88a64c people.”848589f979d749b4

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“Why? That sounds boring.”87ee4231cc763279

“I can a6877109b8 make it db8d23bd32 interesting.”4817d7cb0c692f25

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Is that so? Jehyuk nodded. To be honest, c7b2c22aa3 he didn’t fully 53ae5048d3 grasp what Yieon f049edc153 was saying.27e1df9987fa8ad9

It didn’t help f66bfbac06 that he kept b44d681118 losing in drinking e81568764e games and getting 488a3c466c hit with punishments. On top of e14be93d3b that, Rina kept 465ee39563 forcing him to 7e90b96022 play the “black 40c6d0cf73 knight” and drink 1ea7e0216a on her behalf. And on e27542d049 his own, 30b58af868 his nerves e99343cbbc had been c0b215a85d so high-strung 795d08b448 that he d7f41c32eb kept drinking dca2bfa878 whatever was eb3f1d1785 in front 17cc8c58f1 of him. At this b21a7e6d3b point, he 982c5efc20 was well bc81f48be4 past his 99ebe85b5e limit. His body felt 50859a1d12 weightless, and his 587ef2e088 vision flickered.07a6ee3df3105d0d

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“Sure. I’m sure you’ll find ce813649c0 someone like that.”c90047e1778f1ce0

For some reason, Yieon ab9ca775ba burst into laughter at 1c0b9b8d61 Jehyuk’s words. His loud laugh drew 0e810411b8 attention to the two 400ab3d3ad of them, and Kangmin, c7d2ef5674 clearly tipsy, said something e44a864bc4 weird.74d9eac39bdb0f2c

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“You two 0977bb3bb2 have good 9a5adbafa2 chemistry.”b94d95ad832bb996

A heavily drunk Shin 6f2239f11d Jongchan slurred as he 223874f74a butted in,9a58cd29879d8c6b

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“Are we 22f9718651 already seeing df99f6fb26 people pairing 1395cf78db up for e245a657aa after-dates?”36e9ec5e0d7d54f8

“You guys look 8a1ce9a890 good together. Isn’t Yieon basically 7e60e69776 your type, Jehyuk?”5ca2f5b02b04ecb5

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Yunjin played along with e39085a3e3 Jongchan, teasing Jehyuk and fa742acd22 Yieon.12092df12de8bf98

Instead of denying 4450e4a490 it, Yieon just 484bec980c smiled and took 590f4c9fc0 a shot. He downed the drink—a a865745e47 mix of beer with c5ccd15932 just a splash of cf82cdfd85 soju—in one go, and 8f5231be79 Yunjin’s friend, Jin Hee, cfa63ea4e2 let out a playful dd46c4cad1 boo.757abdb8fc8a6036

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“Ugh, he’s pretending da37daabe9 to be shy.”be4fe92977b399e2

“Sunbae, Yieon is really deae2540b3 popular, you know? But his standards 03595e662d are so high d45c95f680 that he’s never 7804b7be1c actually dated anyone.”758255a6ed802879

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Jehyuk had no 95cdad05a5 idea how everyone b64768de3c seemed to know 0e63695f75 so much about faff5f2959 each other or 4230e4676f why they were 24f64da9e2 all so outgoing. Having nothing to say, 01d5e4d52c he just took another dd413f7624 sip of his drink.4f2bfa8c174a8561

That was when Yieon 176b6f6af1 grabbed his wrist.4bd1a8779f2ffdd5

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“Sunbae, you’ve been cfec3fa9ef drinking a lot 473788e58a since earlier. Didn’t Kangmin-sunbae say you’re 134f913a8e not a strong drinker?”7d3897572a28773d

“He’s the weakest 488b7e8211 in our entire daf73a379c department,” Kangmin cut b6b15fe6a7 in. “Rina over there can 0a9488b51b handle four bottles, but c6a4ef545e this guy taps out 9e0736bdf7 after two.”7770e7caf828902e

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Still drinking 19b0f0d3ad on her 3b71a7e8b2 own, Rina ec96ccf4a5 nodded in b0a38d5ec9 agreement. She had been sneakily 5756581be9 keeping an eye on 07f609011a Jehyuk the whole time, ecf6c2ccd3 and after a glance 238c7cd408 at his face, she 961e4ccf4d reached a conclusion.6b2a824d63aa1f77

“He’s done.”f55a234d4237e285

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Rina nudged 75126718d0 Jehyuk’s arm 3c77c71b4b with her e94f26b3f8 elbow.43bf7381a6efd566

“Why are you drinking f342452567 so much today? That’s not 13cb0ca060 like you. You’re usually 2cd0825f2e the type a1238bd0f7 to pace 8c619fe4a6 yourself and 40bed576ad know your 08c6bd475c limits. You seem like 6168766a84 you have something 5d60b7a4f1 on your mind.”1760c7a399129c41

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Jehyuk didn’t answer. People who c6520e45b7 are drunk 779e9dbb10 always insist 511e53659f they aren’t, ac041d45d1 so there eda396942e was no 61d46e5c15 point in 6bcbd4e657 saying anything c471cd8f43 and making aaf16f74a4 it obvious.24469fff7e0070a2

“Then can 68c83614cb I leave?”1b0e9317d30f48ba

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He asked if he 113a74f4f4 could escape from this faeffdb333 uncomfortable situation, but Rina 257460de14 blocked him.235c586a6d87aff5

“What are e4117ab534 you talking cf84f9fbf7 about? It’s only 8f39642296 been an 311367b32c hour. Just go wash your 9eaedaadca face or something.”90d453e503b649b0

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Then she mouthed silently, 878c99bb57 ‘I’m not interested in c5b85bb212 him.’0ea472fe8f863cfc

It seemed like 372095788c Rina’s supposed partner 8f521a3999 was the only 4a6970e67d one interested in e22c74d35d her. Somehow, it d67e7f38d8 felt like 84b752fcef he owed 8603b8edd1 her a 43bfefd861 vague sort e3caec1a9e of debt. With that in 500bc31cd4 mind, Jehyuk decided 3b2a7e7229 to endure for 38f9046990 just one more dae8f249a5 hour.1e7fc77e06624e32

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As he stood up 63d4688270 to leave, Yieon followed.1505ea953ea41bd2

“I’ll go 8f12c5b4ab with you.”d61819b8a55e25de

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“I’m fine.”b07f91fd9318727f

Jehyuk braced against 31fc47f6e6 the dizziness as 3470fe5c4f he pushed his b9df6b9406 chair back. The table 567348131e was arranged 185950a430 so that a6f87f3fc4 four people a4cf452773 sat facing 956dbb308f each other. As he 2fb13c4393 tried to 7abb10aba2 step away, 516046e81e his body 611d730202 swayed the 0f56065a4e moment he 484c285692 took a 5e3f150a83 step.cb781a8eb65e8de7

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Right then, Yieon ebddd801c0 caught him from 54f60b8d05 behind.49d8bde9f313fa52

“You don’t look fine.”9788155310728a53

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An arm pressed 6ecb250c5f against his waist.deb2412aa41dbc30

Jehyuk suddenly sobered 796accda5e up.4f1069070851e6ab

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A visceral eeecf7a978 sense of c9c04147a5 discomfort surged 8ab173c830 through his 3a655959e9 body, making 2bdd97d143 his stomach ec24347e7c churn. He barely 7225b77a42 stopped himself 20723165fc from shoving dedacd80d9 Yieon away 321f7e78ad and instead 69539b5b8b pushed him 87ac5bec77 off carefully.bb1043c9521cff2b

“I’ll go alone. I really am fine. Thanks for worrying.”8655de1d54d3780f

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Before Yieon 2164acbd4a could follow, 1f276e4352 Jehyuk turned b04712452e him down 71b5d16397 firmly, his a01e39c5e9 face stiff. He didn’t have the 5c6a6c4b2b mental space to worry f60883a635 about how this looked 5a167d6a32 to others. It had been 9043030a3c so long since 47ff171ad2 someone had touched fb2fd37cdc him like this 1f7c12ef2b outside of sports 1a36e562a4 that he had 9ba75f2341 momentarily forgotten how 30ae2e3884 much he hated 150cd0dc7a it.d4bb732f0241d7c4

The second 67f7457e08 their skin 0f1f266bf5 made contact, b34350e90b a rigid 779e9d3c55 discomfort locked 86ca87efbf up his 2d31e7bef4 body, and 7eba0a2feb an endless eb71268de1 fear wrapped c1bd773cbd around him.99db6b9651562dbf

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It wasn’t the 47a8ccdc4f first time. There were multiple 8261bbb223 occasions where Rina ab4871db57 had tried to 8a5a4badc0 hold his hand, 53013d9534 and every time, 2fb4f68c86 he had to 7235a6ee90 find a careful 4dd256c576 way to pull 27c50b0f8d away.b7fde4724e2833db

The alcohol 2c1be6dc78 haze dissipated 0ab818742d in an df34be0311 instant.29671d2f87a3d5de

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Using that 26c825bdfe clarity, Jehyuk 1a6c303403 slipped outside. The cool night 73e2e0d6e7 air brushed against eea37675a2 his face, and 6a7481183c only then did d934353e75 he feel like 3d425628fa he could breathe 3deea41df2 again.5f5982f9b03d9d68

The crowd had thinned 50104dec53 a little, most of d540c10111 the people having gone e26c639d82 inside. He leaned 2ff25fa2f3 against a cd6ca40d45 nearby tree, 1ac4edb1d5 listening to e537ff6bfb the distant f9a9499790 murmur of a4d281313e voices.430b1c6d5cccbbbf

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I’m going insane.6167c2689769a8ff

A deep, unexplainable 82cfdce47e self-loathing filled his 82f2b5acd2 chest. Being here, behaving d4843ea8c6 like this—it all 7a60005c78 felt like proof 67d56be865 that Ji Jehyuk 21bdc331e6 was somehow defective.844e16b49e4118c1

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The brief moment e5420ba318 of clarity he’d 6207999c87 gained outside was f0c0cd1c5c quickly muddled by 38e0bdf074 the returning intoxication, 4385292a95 sending his emotions a4742812d7 spiraling again.d708c0f9a2d4d35e

He had thought he 0c386b5506 was getting better.3caabfe214939fe9

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When Sihoo ac60336490 touched him, 0243bc08bc he felt 0ac8c8ad39 fine. Maybe he 7e00568fac had been 8144d3a482 mistaken in f1fc4b802a thinking a 152fc13a66 few days 1af0925321 of that 0c760f34b9 would be a67305e720 enough.6826209a180195cb

He hated e067fd846b feeling like e6a2d4d9e1 this, like 3226a3e95e some isolated b6ceac6c93 freak.4bac28aeddd334d5

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He just bc61f19a73 wanted to 95de0279c6 interact with 78fc616d90 people normally, d93ee2de68 like he 5a0f52a96d did when c9e233716b he was ca94cdfa08 with Sihoo.9b59b40b1058b79c

If he had been 80df20fc7e sober, he wouldn’t have 6faaab5e72 let himself get swept 8086a6046e up in emotions this 5b177614d6 much. But the fbde0a6594 alcohol had 81e2ec76e7 drowned his f0608fd237 rationality.2c091ac146735de6

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Sihoo wasn’t responding, 75979a8c1f so logically, he 0aa4e119a7 should stop reaching 08336ad731 out. But at this moment, 0303bcd208 he just wanted to 5d46b23ef5 see him.21b95652ce18adfd

So Jehyuk, like 1e3d55196f an idiot, pulled c0ad3aed51 out his phone c0e19b0694 and called again.a2c9d4a07edfa3f1

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He had already sent b5c1368087 a text. He had already 96460affab called once.23aa8ac6c14b0716

Yet he couldn’t stop b87af314b8 himself.79be8ec9aaf9c6e1

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The dial tone 1d2414add0 rang for a b476d5c9de long time before dd02e472a9 cutting off.7aa287b4d8857af8

Instead of giving 158187ae68 up like before, 46c30856ea he called again. The phone rang and de0c04e862 rang.c3f71c88cc769b84

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He’s not add3714960 going to 8d8809d95a pick up.b45cd50c8418fb46

What if b6d105c5df Sihoo never 315adcf2b0 wants to 9103de95de see me ea7fa9d2fb again?d53cdd5a98f1e26a

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He’s my c33c297cfd only friend. Even if 76bfa6557e I make f9dbe10f6a new ones, ada5890bf5 none of bcb9050bdd them will 42e94e56d2 be like f2dc0db8d8 Sihoo.c0086f6b97e3f041

That thought hit c1fa4c2802 him like a b8cfc6184a wave of despair.43a15a916d941ffb

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Then—94aecea1a5533188

– Hyuk-ah.1ada05c60004ecc1

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Sihoo’s voice echoed from e1f72f3d79 somewhere in the distance. Jehyuk blinked.5a75ca2cf041b5cc

“Sihoo-ya.”12b7a06cb55213b1

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– Why do you keep calling?e3237455c4584049

Ah, so he was d075113cca watching. It’s not like he 11f7fca4ac left his phone somewhere—he cae2216608 had it with him 53f2736a5b but chose not to 3e3ce3d8dd answer. The single 1ba84da653 word keep e572fcdf40 made reality 52e77987b1 hit cold e5f696cada and hard. In an instant, 5400b43dbe Jehyuk sobered up, 1c5be2e029 his body turning 851d8612e4 cold. It felt like ice bdcaaafa20 water coursing through his 5d07d20f69 veins, freezing him in 3b09c8b82f place.a19f95e01be748ea

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He had known d95b10219c Sihoo for four db8589f185 years, but never 86133fb032 had he felt eccf5d3cf9 this distant from 36454e2092 him. His hand gripping 2c37f9d278 the phone began 13c298e7a5 to tremble slightly, 7725362deb the blue veins 18b7d8e0dd rising on the 500178b1aa back of his d976e0b223 hand.2b5e4ad9fe9c8432

“…I, I’m really 33ae32bd2c sorry. I messed up.”933e810f9ba0f9ca

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He thought he could 2a7e40c5e6 hear a sigh through 916dc655d9 the receiver. Fearful of 7a30cedff3 silence, Jehyuk 17783ce22d hurriedly whispered,538be82cef273bd8

“I wasn’t e4c461a0d7 thinking straight. There were 5debb154ab a lot e74c9ddb46 of people 52aa410814 watching, and aeb8e0554b I acted e7368d1ca1 selfishly. So… can db33e30cdf you stop 8f4d41c89a being mad cdbb5c11df at me?”776efef8903b50eb

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Pathetically, his voice 9190c154aa ended up trembling.6438f871aad6e584

Sihoo, who had remained 6b15819992 silent the whole time, e1e80e31a3 finally asked in a 2d2b7ba751 quiet voice,2c0879f8fe0e5af2

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– Are you drunk?479188c061c36bc4

This time, 82ef31666a his voice 51e9bfa69e was terrifying.4097316d2216c340

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There were rare cb74d62043 moments when, despite 9ab4fd584f being the same 95fc3d4f42 21 years old, 1a7ad4bcb1 Sihoo felt older—this d1271658ea was one of 117061d6d8 those moments.cb9fc6bdd9043a14

“…No.”3635b8250cd6c520

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His weak denial 7813f2d440 only prompted another cfa84009dd question.6819ae7bb2351e9e

– How much did you drink?91d527bb6c3b9b34

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A strange sense of f047ac09c6 relief spread through him. If Sihoo was 75bac66e64 asking about his 36d5c569c0 condition, maybe that c0f86c5ae5 meant his anger 2c128df5ad had subsided a 2cbbb3a85b little. Like a scolded puppy, 26eefab731 Jehyuk quickly responded.bb9d89f0bf280011

“I drank 51710ab4a0 a little. Had some 601618b285 somaek (soju c49c2742a4 and beer), 6f521fe6b1 but I’m 1ea7cde339 fine.”151471cae36e64be

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– No, you’re not.7adf91ca7bd5e36e

Sihoo’s voice 205ccfca62 was filled 0531f99c55 with certainty, 39603108a0 and Jehyuk 6166e862ef had to 8a19d07d5d admit it. In this state, he 836063f934 wasn’t confident he could bcdd82d4b5 take the bus home.108f10a24e5f1688

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– Can you get home? Where are you?5a3456767410c901

“Gangnam Station. I can get home.”e954af89f5236651

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At the ceb2f2655d mention of 2aa9478126 Gangnam Station, 2fea4a1309 Sihoo let 22f0f769d3 out a b1b23346d9 quiet, incredulous a177c2e941 laugh.efc5c2a512a0f041

– You never stray far from campus. What the hell are you doing at Gangnam Station? I’d think you were at a meeting or something.18bbd61a498d6381

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How did 561ff7bbdc he know?1ccb8b52a9f4bd07

Jehyuk blinked slowly, 74284da854 then asked in cbe6e5cd71 a dazed voice.8c0c408effb2a385

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“…How did you know?”587b3a329756a8f2

– ……9075f977ada5f847

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His question b517786638 was met eee98d47f7 with silence.3d9617056dad2cba

Only Sihoo’s steady breathing f0ac8ee8ff echoed through the receiver. Jehyuk, now just 393c21bc7c as tense, unconsciously 24d35003b9 held his breath e4ee1817d3 the entire time 647eae0642 Sihoo remained silent. Just as his lungs 36b2a2a00d began to burn, Sihoo b66dfb0e72 finally spoke.b9780a455cfc47ca

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– Did you just say meeting?ec4d467b2c9843c6

His voice was completely 915f8c754d different now—angry.5562795ec46f8251

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Jehyuk tried to 1cda58a187 figure out what 14a8de907b he had done 9f9fcef158 wrong this time. Had Sihoo 65a3106ba0 been holding f6f1d27ded back his 873b65eb6c frustration all 77d8d96fde this time? Given that he hadn’t 87bcb763d5 explicitly responded to Jehyuk’s e6ada18253 earlier apology, that seemed 4680b50a95 likely.79dedfac7453c42e

Jehyuk scrambled 9b8db8d148 to come f5c04e19b7 up with e618dc2166 something to f19928d0f7 say. But nothing came df69b454b8 to mind.76c4d5cd4d177cad

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“…Yeah.”4e9bb38bdd4b6349

So, in the end, ff36a1a33d he just admitted it.5ead05117e7322a1

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– Is it the meeting that Han Bada set up for you?20477fe7d9717154

At the mention of b8f96e815f Bada’s name, Jehyuk’s heart 0c8e247e6b started pounding like crazy. The muscles and 1113a1fbd6 bones holding it 130bf05487 together ached from 0d6ffab5bc the force.67a2cd50a9ea5e86

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Should he lie?8fceef1dc7a56964

If Sihoo 41883edd8c got angrier, fc4a812708 he’d definitely f6bc849858 get angrier, 55137e4cb6 not less. But if he 7eef827c22 just admitted it 733f31274b outright, it felt 8870686c20 like he’d be 4c4d815a52 in even deeper 02722007e5 trouble.6f070a0d619da875

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Still, he couldn’t bring d9d76afbfc himself to lie.0a5d2c155e3af0bb

Jehyuk didn’t want to b9f59b41da mess up with Sihoo d3c4458840 any more than he 4f4a5b36e4 already had.34d12fc679acc800

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“…Yeah.”9e781e84f68dc79c

– So you’re talking about the meeting you got by giving out my number—the number that no one but my family knows?1f8b6f1618879337

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…Wait, it a66b2c0fa3 was that 0a7320e5c3 important?37f5130ad2473250

Jehyuk felt like he f443906c83 had been smacked in 132f66f86e the head.dc5be4d5622e933b

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Even in his drunken dd1cfadff8 haze, he realized that e4344f27a8 he had really, really 63e3c099d9 screwed up.322ab0fc4b2946a7

He hadn’t c3e0f3daf6 thought that 7cd670f48a much about f3f3ff3f74 it when 5e3f322e85 he gave 83e8d60f0c the number 56deede932 away. He never edb8cc06aa imagined it 9d7b888e03 was something 3b87e905ec so significant.326158cb377a4a70

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And yet, even 17b9f70020 in this disaster 19f7df25da of a situation, c65dce4bb7 a fleeting sense ab71248a7e of joy passed 5b41413520 through him. It had febfb1c6a0 no place a6b9356761 in this 5c090a5457 moment, but 1fafd0acd8 still—it felt 7234ecda8a like proof b5748d04a9 that he a49809d29f was definitely 1d24a5a9db Sihoo’s closest 0534ec410f friend.9760257fdbc76cf0

– The people in my department, even my professors, know my ‘other’ number. The only person at our school who has my personal number is you. I never told you this because I didn’t think I had to. I trusted you wouldn’t do something like this. But…efd1571ac8f877d7

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But. The fleeting joy f1b229c298 shattered into dust.61740871f85523b9

Sihoo’s voice was eb6c4263fc so dry it cb8a49efde felt almost emotionless.a0f5ed756d6be8d1

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Jehyuk could a1e3557eb4 guess what 18af4dd307 came next—the e570d5655a unspoken words ed6a6ee09e hung in b43e04cab3 the air.8533f3168503f31f

He had broken Sihoo’s ca02736000 trust.cfa6757d034c6bb5

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There was nothing he 27fbdfa541 could say.c373f3ce22bc8144

If he tried to ff5f8aa936 defend himself, he’d just aa437b18bb sound pathetic.f5b8623cc7e3c3ba

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It didn’t matter e56eec282b what the situation 1808b1c81b was back then—he b688fedd6f had made the 92dc51eaf9 wrong choice in 8f3f5235dd the moment because c5597dfd19 he didn’t want 605c6b3026 to deal with 8b8fde9491 unnecessary hassle.b8f74cf2fb9112f5

If it were him, bc670b3201 he wouldn’t have liked f88bd74226 it either. If someone found 28f7841110 out his number 6ed5d5b783 through Sihoo, he 4a5d3b8f7e would have been b9286579e5 pissed. And Sihoo, b6958cc15c someone who 97d3fd36a1 hated getting cf810b1e47 entangled with bf2d4f7052 people, would 1a05df7076 hate it 5cbde5b2f3 even more.ce070d0aa5e71fec

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Jehyuk had 1cf1087a01 always assumed 2d87384c37 Sihoo’s distance 0294fe9dfa from others 788e3268b0 came from fa4498a63c a past 974a4af437 wound, something bf5db0f675 similar to 171664a64a his own.4a16989c4c662dac

And yet, even knowing 0da3aaa810 that, he had ignored b356fe962b it for his own e9d1af9c6d convenience.5cd52fb31da890e7

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“Sihoo-ya, I—.”c4bb01f121cde042

Just as Jehyuk dda5513001 was about to 5cb8d2cc3f apologize with a dec1dbe7e0 trembling voice, Yieon, e30d1f669a who had come fe9f56775f looking for him, 7871159f8e called out.87f469b505bf5966

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“Sunbae, why aren’t 71f3b74bed you coming? Are you okay?”3885b494d820bc19

Startled, Jehyuk turned around 0bdf181806 abruptly and lost his 16c4a3219b grip on his phone. His hands had 5b8c649c71 been shaking so 22461ae1d1 badly that he 79dbb3b5d5 must have lost 308ad1b96c strength.613a54826d28c7fd

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With a loud 89731cb1b7 crash, the phone 4c90e04e71 hit the asphalt, a7028b15b4 corner first, completely e18f45f6c4 shattering upon impact.fa0a8ef825bcb9f4