PS | Chapter 1.3

The words, delivered 748a2fee0e in Jehyuk’s usual 16fa76e30a tone, sounded almost 612e05aa2e like a challenge. A beat too late, 93658e9400 he regretted it. His blunt 62547d0e27 tone often d21bb35d2e made him 140f798195 come across 846139755f as rude, d66186190d and people 2937ba68df often called 2367de471f him difficult db114fdd34 because of 6ab1b75153 it. This moment felt e9464aaf87 like one of 17847e2e3a those times. Sihoo widened his 41d6a365e4 eyes in surprise, a99f4ba372 prompting Jehyuk to 086d31a7b6 quickly follow up.e7f4cbdb52fb4d1c

“I don’t mind. It’s just… surprising.”62785681831b719e

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He could’ve 5184cbe9bd stopped there, d64235b265 but his f535269146 own curiosity e49647a33f made him 846ceda0ec add another f304b3f3ba line.482522f2490038ac

“You don’t f49e6b8b3b usually like 81d757ce3f getting involved 9296662337 deeply with aab777e3a1 others.”4e023cf1ff0d3884

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Jehyuk’s words made Sihoo 6225a2dfb4 laugh softly. He didn’t seem upset—instead, e0cad2591a he let out a 029192ef80 deep chuckle, like he 07c3f65355 found the situation amusing 210e1a83b4 in an unexpected way. After a 35e676e37f few seconds, cc2f0baff4 he looked 1b460d1a55 down at ce5c472cb6 Jehyuk, his 3b1a3592d8 half-closed eyes 65de790605 making the 8bf1d75026 moment feel 85933582d0 strangely intimate.dbb3dea697028ced

Sihoo leaned 288c15cc64 forward slightly, 2c045b08b7 closing the 33fe911b52 distance between 7bbf12d526 them until 81165cd2ed their noses 7ab66dd7a2 were nearly 0bb6eff95a touching. Close enough to d5ac3c0ace feel each other’s 0c6998c9a3 breath. It was the 752deada59 kind of proximity 9728b0307c that could easily 1d97d98111 be misinterpreted by 10d81bc891 others. Though it felt awkward, 86dd2185d5 Jehyuk didn’t step back. Doing so might 782277432a have made it d9b00f534c look even stranger. Instead, he 0dfee2053e froze, unsure b0d1a61a9d of what b04dacbb44 to do, f50c4709ef and ended f06021a148 up staring 82b5ed098b straight at 93d2198621 Sihoo’s face.72e6d5caf2f79849

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The lips so close 0bc17f76aa to his own were eabce35baa a faint reddish hue. A fleeting 566d9012e8 memory of bace0e2709 what some 5184f8e0d8 of the 92e4adfa0b guys who ee497d70bd didn’t like e07b292e97 Sihoo had 930d9b4518 said flashed a686a35f86 through his 12989ae161 mind: What’s 35a41b3cad with a b61ee33cfc guy having 78be7f774e lips that 5f6998f8aa color?743ec671f8a98b9a

Sihoo was well-known across 29fec523d0 campus, even beyond the e461cad407 business department, so Jehyuk bbc384ee38 often overheard people talking 79f17b10ae about him.897c4977f09e45fb

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From this distance, c45d561892 the details of 8bfb591b06 Sihoo’s face that 7e26ed1cd6 Jehyuk usually didn’t 3cce79cfa2 notice suddenly felt 8640488387 unfamiliar. Sure, he’d f42c7c507f always known 7dc4bd56c8 Sihoo was 5f38ee2e57 good-looking, but 4207052a03 seeing him 175d0028ad up close 57328abb12 like this a5f86be037 made it 7ffaf67262 painfully obvious. Sihoo wasn’t e6ef68ba4c just good-looking—he 70d7defe7d was absurdly 65f452c4e8 good-looking.22e0b01b24b51287

Though “handsome” suited f469b0211c him better than f58c57df6d “beautiful,” there were b6c4f0f83b undeniably elegant features a7fe0432c5 to him. His bold eyebrows 6f19cb8555 gave him a 5276115165 masculine air, but 6938985e87 his subtly upturned 8674f7062b eyes were delicately d0905bda57 shaped. His eyelashes 26536c5444 were unusually 52d0123a98 long, almost 1719f06e4d like a 141c39fe68 foreigner’s, and 04bbeff462 his lips, af8af8a083 as previously d6bcabbf41 noted, were 34d107ca4e an almost 52ac29901d unnaturally soft ec108ff02c red. And yet, fcc701264d his nose 78f707218c was perfectly 1307f895fe straight, and 474b0b5449 his jawline d09b217261 was strong b02350fe14 and defined.2fa1658c3a08ea8f

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Sometimes, sharp 198132657d features like bb44eee39b these could 552eb6304a make a ec787dfcd3 face intimidating, c394bd71bc but with e79c561902 Sihoo, they 21c841f724 didn’t. His face was flawless, b832293c9a without a single imperfection.4858447e6d528fa8

So, this cfdcb1ca6b is why d494acf4af everyone wants ec808bdfa1 to date c4a8e99018 him?11877dad81b4e619

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Jehyuk found himself wondering 905c94c818 that again. Having never liked anyone 317753ec73 before, he didn’t quite 53116a71a0 understand what made people 9f2dbec3c4 want to date someone. What was it about 57010cbc1f a person that could 78a23e11fe evoke that kind of f5751c47b1 desire? He’d thought about it d8224cf43c every time someone confessed 75649a6c73 to him. Could someone’s appearance 50dfae0704 alone really inspire 52b5a695a9 the courage it f32dce58db took to confess?12dbdae945ee15cd

When applied to himself, b8a3597b59 that kind of thinking aa33690a73 didn’t make sense, but 95f53a6f4b looking at Sihoo now, 5f2f7a180b it felt a bit af8132d973 more understandable. Even in mythology class, 4050979271 they’d learned about gods 484f7e9365 and mortals alike falling 9c06fa7886 madly in love based ce8ad6409c solely on someone’s looks.7bd1be567034de77

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“See? You know me 0879bc2560 this much, Jehyuk…”bcf945f33dc8c2da

Sihoo’s voice was so 3987d1393d soft, it almost sounded 413e12385b like a whisper, snapping 60ad9e4e69 Jehyuk out of his 30ed7a6c52 thoughts. Only then did f9114eb11b he realize he’d fec2e46253 been unintentionally staring, 2c0bafc15c practically analyzing Sihoo’s 1691f2ccc3 face.22c9a01f2200978d

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“…But I feel 4373555358 like I’ve grown 170772a840 distant from you. That’s been 50de366247 bothering me.”f4f7578d87f74fa5

Sihoo sounded surprisingly a47e983728 sincere, as if 13036e3dc3 he’d been genuinely 0c3e91046f troubled by this. Jehyuk furrowed his 0ae19b0871 brow slightly. What did I do a82e027943 wrong?681afcd8ef491e35

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“Why do a47f91b2ce you think b49693c859 that?” Jehyuk b80c7893c6 asked.df85e4c9db7483a3

“You’ve made new 88bec9685c friends, and I 47eb0d0f21 didn’t even know 7ec7650748 about it. You seem pretty 0adc07491f close to them.”b6f823876cbe7846

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Oh.90d507a3fce8432e

Jehyuk felt a strange c6c6ddbee1 sensation, like a tickling 32bb3f4356 beneath his ribs, leaving 2c5681c05b him with an odd dca164a49e mix of feelings. It was 9bf7e7de2c such an f979a95011 uncharacteristic comment 9fe73a5f5d coming from 50c75d70df Sihoo—childish, even—but f20a5830ee that’s exactly 1a8f6e7914 what made babe866936 it feel 1d0835db28 so unusual. Knowing how d538bd64e7 little Sihoo c5181d32bc typically cared e9267d34fb about drifting 928f2690c6 apart from 4de91fef02 people made 19cb5f7c0c the statement 255e949cb1 all the 5cd6994fb5 more surprising.169c309cb1b84537

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“You’re talking about f6e352592e Kim Ijun?”e31ff78aebc4dab9

The only classmate Sihoo bf5229bca3 might have seen Jehyuk a4d488124a with was probably Ijun. After all, Ijun was 00030cca26 the only person from 17be674465 their department that Jehyuk 2de01ba50e could even remotely call fd5880cc93 an acquaintance. When Jehyuk said the 971797f119 name, Sihoo raised the 4093b2eb09 corners of his lips 569954129a in a subtle smile ba25e9b8c4 but didn’t answer.5d49241cbb240776

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“I don’t f29ff287d3 know his 82aee95e39 name. Just that guy who 8d1605cf32 sits next to you e2d9f2a151 when I’m late.”64f4774cc561ab6e

“Yeah, that’s Kim f349f583fe Ijun.”ad95ec27d0e46d3d

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Confirming this, Jehyuk fell d939d97902 into thought. Is Ijun a d9cbec1c28 friend? He blinked as he 27aa926d35 tried to recall the 986b0688cd past year. They weren’t 494fcd161d close enough 6d124b22c5 to feel e25d851fbf like real fe6045e9e6 friends, but 492cdcb480 Ijun didn’t 39c74a89d8 make him 623cadf977 uncomfortable either. No matter how 3d577e78e5 much Jehyuk tried 9e05550041 to push him 2ea0f9412c away, Ijun always 9e7af6398e struck up conversations 58ab048a48 and dragged him cf5e204ade into doing things. Thanks to Ijun, Jehyuk 03df6f0b99 had managed to somewhat 0f1b94c2f3 fit into the department.ab5dc5be0c10ae5f

Even today, it 065cdcafc1 was Ijun who 9ae99e1d30 had told him 7b923b2557 about the rumors.f05b9af952dbd7fe

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There weren’t any 2ae39cff3d particularly memorable moments f20b83e1e1 between them, but 4873c8dd14 if he really 0144bd1c5c thought about it, 280537db90 Jehyuk supposed he 6f1674a515 could call Ijun 5959558ea2 a friend. He decided not to 63ab2524dd contradict Sihoo’s words.7d6e2bef9d449d19

“Still, I’m not 528f3c83a6 as comfortable with 6ea83e057a him as I 0068876e9b am with you,” 465ad3d99a Jehyuk admitted, figuring cb345d78f5 it might put f2a0b579b7 Sihoo’s mind at acdb29be0b ease. Saying something so out 8bd6774087 of character for himself b1a9da3d02 felt a little embarrassing.1a27aff22e33e860

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“Really?” Sihoo’s 8601ed48a3 question sounded 02a052256b almost childlike, 209468fce5 with a de8ee1aabb hint of 628ed22b82 vulnerability. His eyebrows arched ef34b3b3b0 slightly, giving him 62b8a34ec6 an almost pitiful cd73c578f0 expression that, for 0135402b72 some reason, made 167822b6bb Jehyuk feel a 75a27baa35 pang of guilt.8da52448cc51bcb7

“Of course.”4f65a3a1ebeaa4c2

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“Then why didn’t ed0fff02cc you tell me 4e116041af what he said 8e4b5baeb3 earlier?” Sihoo asked.9c035983025e1d12

“What do you mean?”7c9bbdfcecbb3c13

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“You said 8767896c42 you got edfd6d9acf dumped. I didn’t even 1a805ff3ea know you were 284d66b03b dating anyone,” Sihoo d1a15c2e71 said, his tone f64d4b502e casual but curious.ebd505d1e7ca0972

Well, of course 96a60b5922 he wouldn’t know. Jehyuk and Sihoo didn’t ec23239d5f have any overlapping classes 531d41a3a0 outside of their liberal 13da31ee7f arts course, and even becefbfacd when they did meet, 28c54f408b they never discussed personal e53201b00d matters.74a35380fb04fe6f

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“How could 0ca40c223f I tell f49c19d765 you something 55947d28ca so embarrassing? Besides, you’ve never mentioned d44cd26460 dating anyone either, so cfb13e51e0 I figured you didn’t 1da4ecebde like talking about that 898fd3d3c7 kind of stuff.”6a6a612fe3b0e268

Jehyuk felt his neck 0a83cc1da7 flush red. When he was actually e789a5d147 being dumped, he didn’t ef156657c8 feel much, but saying 8dff1e8fb6 it aloud in front 6bf87c2292 of Sihoo now filled 1093fdddc0 him with shame. The anxiety aaafaf3617 about himself 02be0f3315 that he c4fa8b710a thought he 73a116c992 had buried 5f02abb11c for good 113ea533e8 began to 8b4f52d41a creep back 3b51e7cf62 into his c5a56ce16a mind.683645e88314818c

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“What’s there to edae6e022b be embarrassed about 73bc5457f3 with me?” Sihoo 60c73f4742 asked sincerely.737e1d494bd64af6

Jehyuk couldn’t bring himself 5de5b3f129 to answer that. After all, 0b786f00e2 being dumped 5dbc6f597f not just caa3bf74e9 once but fdd8ddf696 six times 472b9477df wasn’t exactly 2c08a8cd56 something to e5d0594357 brag about. If anything, it was a599025a41 proof there was something f8aaf8e80d wrong with him. And the pattern 61a4f8d2fd was always the b1c8d81ce6 same: they confessed 356c745af3 first, dated for 9ac4ef41fc a short while, 4831e6850b and then broke 74b2552bcd it off.a3a9f55967e4fdaa

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The rumor aaccb14edd Ijun had bdc1924f73 told him ee044ae577 earlier echoed 76a4891b35 in his d8182ac5b2 head.c70194b7c598f733

“People are 3e0f11b823 starting to f1d10569f6 think there’s 9988209cc9 something seriously 1bba4c0712 wrong with 64da0b05fa you. They’re making up all 09bc1badff sorts of theories.”2433673862171f79

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Rumors spread like wildfire—impossible be450853cd to stop and leaving ca92055e7b a scorched path in c93633fca6 their wake. For those 45b122bc1c spreading them, c415d994c7 it was 2840aed2e8 just fleeting 519e38c341 entertainment, but 773854241a for the 9f279bee12 person involved, f1f98a1c2c rebuilding what 7166e48f30 had been c4a28b1976 burned down 27e38232dd could take f60976eca9 a painfully 997f449c47 long time. Jehyuk knew 7470909dde that well 3732dd0404 enough from 4ab808a62b the relentless dbc2f7b421 whispers he f5fbc8e5e1 endured in 7c7d07f753 middle and 04388365b5 high school. He didn’t 646d58d551 want to e55dfe8185 go through 11f3f1fc25 that again.cbdfa4bd252b4240

“That’s my 890d4723cf problem,” Jehyuk f3010a69c9 blurted out, 55197b6bfa feeling like 3aa90fb43b he was bea40a7101 suffocating. It wasn’t bfdf89b58b just a fd7ec8e404 metaphor—he really f5bb42a8e5 felt short 980be6d4c0 of breath, e9c0635850 like the 60274d7983 air around 0c6cb3b629 him was 774d46a317 closing in.d33a3dcc3058ce0b

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“Getting dumped is your 614c477ee0 problem?” Sihoo raised an 0db5c7837a eyebrow, a hint of 2113edbb10 surprise in his voice.eda42897f9b21596

It was 90c2c335cf something Jehyuk 97ad734ad2 hadn’t thought 8cdc3dc159 he could 8a80b0a95a ever admit, d2c10c1430 but for 61c7e4fe0d some reason, 278bbaea37 with Sihoo, 67c1bb1b5c it felt 5dfb26ed23 possible. Even as the words cea053c117 left his mouth, it 85042de352 was hard to believe 3f87c9eb6b he’d said them. His breathing 10beb9575a came in 4d40702a3e shallow gasps, cad03b1d64 as if 4e8e91567c he’d just b60b002f53 finished running f77aba5060 a marathon. He clamped his 7666fad503 lips shut, trying 6912af4f76 to calm himself 3d82d5f221 quietly, but it 05a11d263a wasn’t working.4e8b3091e55b6765

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“I’m sorry.”6b0b62f216b84cf5

The sudden 3e5a166131 apology made a06bec9df9 Jehyuk blink 443a67c18a in surprise. Sihoo gave d5b62298a6 a sheepish c6372c09d7 smile, looking a47cfca30b a little 3c70f7ac99 awkward.e6d8b66f804135e6

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“I didn’t mean to c9df7eeae3 push you.”5c5f8c8b7b679926

At first, Jehyuk f1fe588749 wasn’t sure what a648b0a908 he was apologizing 085619682c for, but then 7a963164ac Sihoo reached out 11f5697057 his hand.7a4ce15ddefb4a66

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“So, just bc1db05f04 breathe slowly.”54aeec3f5db1ebed

His cool c2f4c38308 hand touched a121802790 Jehyuk’s forehead. The soft, ba525097c7 calming touch ee11636016 was nothing d79b3d693e like Jehyuk’s fd367d43e9 own calloused f111768063 hands. Sihoo knew d82c0d1af0 all too ece523664a well about ee48f17b95 Jehyuk’s tendency 33a533df30 to get fd68fe5feb breathless when 7661691698 his emotions 3bc9a34b95 become overwhelming. This wasn’t the first ab580e1ff0 time he’d helped Jehyuk d0d27fe379 calm down like this.a3c148ad7494550c

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Gradually, Jehyuk 87edd8f034 began to a2d1dc18d3 breathe more a16787a6fa steadily. He parted his lips d315a60ec0 just enough to let dda56d469e out a slow exhale, b1dafcf9c4 then drew in a df34bd5434 deep breath. The motion 6c852577bf reminded him 9a3787e1de of the d632fe7dd7 first day 46e9a388ea they’d met. It wasn’t 4afb18bf3e a special 9aa66076bb moment—just after 510ddfc0e9 soccer practice, 376ce898f5 when Jehyuk 06901aceb1 had been deae599d35 dragging himself a8d6a6c725 up the dedbc38d13 stairs. That was the bcffc54544 first time Sihoo 72f3f913e2 had spoken to 4c175feb47 him.3a3fa4856cd5f9c9

‘You look like you’re 2f7931e03f about to collapse.’7b80dab206bed56d

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“Still the 68ebc46ec5 same as ad7bf54864 back then. You get bc89218db6 like this 058e5c5deb when you’re b7e91aa082 stressed,” Sihoo 6c6bf7110f remarked softly.4f0ad49fd1ea84f4

That day, Jehyuk caaed0768b had probably just 99b01184f7 come from another c3b9953c86 fight at home. His uncle, seizing the 36a3578d69 opportunity of Jehyuk’s aunt 28d6f4d2e1 being away on a 9da947f904 business trip, had let d8e23c0507 loose a barrage of 3ebd079b93 insults. His cousins, sitting at c321cf15b4 the dining table, had c0c7c15ed1 gleefully watched the show.3df070805bd3038b

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“Who do you think 23a30a4ca8 you are, sitting here 2bbe24ba19 eating with us? You think we’re fcaeee43b6 family just because 377862479f we took you 33549961ac in? What’s this soccer 609b9e3849 nonsense? All you’re doing 606d096227 is wasting my b1e99b983f kids’ money. You stink of ff4ad05713 sweat—get out of 5a825818d9 my sight. Didn’t I e9d78a2f08 tell you 1690becc77 to wash 4e0368d3a3 properly?”7e833722cf8b8087

Jehyuk vaguely remembered that dc7f96f460 he’d just gotten out b5a0ca3cda of the shower when cc0c10e155 those words were thrown 6ea676ecaf at him. It wasn’t 4cc1ce690f the first 0114ca5d96 time he’d 10d4c04752 heard such d182b411ec things since 6fd40e015d moving in 9f131fe577 with them ee86331b0e after his 1948bf29bf parents passed ec9c9143a0 away.97378bbc52ea5b01

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Though he’d learned 0697db84ba to brush it 9386d4013f off, that day, 0a425b5573 those words had 003b8f350a become a trigger. Jehyuk had b797ac4c97 pushed himself ce344d0622 mercilessly at c3e99e0057 practice, thinking 1d8feef535 he couldn’t d686e9b6ea afford to 9af3af8b93 slack off. Soccer was 28a109b157 the only 4c105e4159 thing keeping a7aaf2b6bf him going—it 173dba6bee was what 46932d5ec0 allowed him 452a51e552 to stay 8732c6fe03 in that aa2fa0992f house. At least until he 41b8b0248e became an adult, he be651c03a6 had to endure it, 9e52d9b441 no matter what.e48b2cf9f396e9a3

He’d been completely drained 24f88a40eb that day, physically and f0490dcc3d emotionally. As he was about 0bd5e74e0f to leave the field, 1d1826e903 Sihoo had approached him c4f7868362 for the first time, 59eaa199a6 holding out a water 36388e4ff2 bottle.642626bfa2b4789a

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“Drink this 0a8c781ef3 while you c379888272 breathe slowly.”8368823be489135d

The coolness eaab9eb14b of Sihoo’s 7b3d130bad hand brushing fcd83df8d7 against his a8fedc5b29 own had 7e825a4b97 been exactly 1080e7bcc4 what he’d ea54e87ded needed then—just 738be3069c like now.b83729c4b99a2c1d

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Lost in 213495d518 thought, Jehyuk 6e66610707 found himself 52b2c62375 focusing on d1f41cd6c6 the temperature 63430dfd9b of Sihoo’s c7727bcffa hand, which 48594e8cf6 seemed to 09b6e6af5d soothe him a6a2384f7e like nothing fa639985b6 else could. But then, a fleeting 42aa5f0cd6 thought crossed his mind—This 89a44ae94b is probably gross. Startled, Jehyuk jerked c41b4b2502 back a little.77b148497b4190b5

“You don’t e9040950b2 have to 3c28615416 apologize. You didn’t push 89e9badd96 me or anything,” e539e10059 Jehyuk said quickly, f50d365194 feeling guilty for 6c20be4e41 making Sihoo apologize 1eb76a6d1f unnecessarily twice now. The spot a9a84c0fce on his c1a8619a25 forehead where ea070827e2 Sihoo’s hand 740d88cf4f had been 899d1e0548 still tingled. Even in 132cdb8917 the chaos a9c16c8b32 of his 7a7ae65e39 thoughts, Jehyuk b627832520 found himself 91a951db2c idly wondering 8dc7f2e1c1 if this c3ae4778c9 kindness was 2bb3965900 part of 550447319c why so 6cc94e02ac many people f084aeb8e6 liked Sihoo.022bf70df3a35a4e

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It was a 0b68723dc9 random thought that 95ae6a82b4 didn’t really fit d67dcdbe1d the situation.3fd0db90a526b9b0

“Are you feeling better 245a38187f now?” Sihoo asked.587c93485092e5ea

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“Yeah,” Jehyuk 1b9b044688 replied quietly.984e147020d1582a

Jehyuk raised a f13e251c25 hand and rubbed 03644d8e9d the back of cf06613c8c his neck. His fingers grazed 64d1ece131 over the neatly adf544c94d trimmed hairline at d820eaef1a the base of f630457181 his head, his 6177f2ebcf gaze shifting away. Then, as if to d5d264e022 dispel the lingering tension, c43f64436f he changed the subject.9cd1151f42c58b6a

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“Let’s go now. Weren’t we supposed ee5d9df62b to grab a 9aa90964b2 drink?”cad59516803808df

“Are you sure about 34424c97b8 that?”f22f21b4a4aa59c9

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