PRT | Chapter 3.3

Seo Yigyeom, who seemed to be just as hungry, indifferently opened another can of beer. Then he tilted his head back and took a swig. His red lips glistened with moisture as he set the can down.

Heeseo stared at him. He wondered why he was always so accepting. Yet, watching him made Heeseo thirsty, especially seeing how Seo Yigyeom was enjoying his drink.

The room was dark and quiet. A soft, amber light illuminated the surroundings. Through the window, you could see snow falling under the roof lights. Occasionally, the wind would whistle through the silence. Amidst it all, the sound of Seo Yigyeom opening and closing his lighter added to the atmosphere, making Heeseo’s mouth dry.

“Can I have some too?”

This place was isolated, and the day was coming to an end. All they could do was wait for morning. He impulsively asked, and Seo Yigyeom, who had been watching him, moved. A pleasant smell engulfed Heeseo. Even while smoking, Seo Yigyeom always had a nice scent, which was so memorable it stuck in Heeseo’s mind.

He handed over a beer from the end of the table. Heeseo, startled by the sudden scent, took the can. The condensation on the can wet his palm. Just as he felt a shiver from the cold, his fingers brushed against Seo Yigyeom’s as he withdrew his hand, causing a spark-like feeling.

Heeseo flinched, glancing at Seo Yigyeom. Seo Yigyeom smirked and drank, then Heeseo, in turn, opened his can with a hiss and offered it to him before drinking.

“I learned you’re supposed to clink them…”

His voice grew quieter despite his bold action. Seo Yigyeom let out a small laugh this time.

“It feels like I’m doing something I shouldn’t.”

“Why?”

“Drinking with a little kid. What’s the point?”

“I’m not a kid.”

A sideways glance swept over Heeseo’s face.

“Then lose that greenhorn smell and come back.”

Seo Yigyeom murmured through his teeth but willingly clinked his can against Heeseo’s. The cans, full of liquid, made a low, heartbeat-like sound.

The beer was unexpectedly refreshing. The fizziness was sharp down his throat. Heeseo shivered, having drained it in one go, perhaps because of his empty stomach; he felt tipsy already.

Heeseo took another sip and opened a packet of snacks. Arranging them neatly, he popped one into his mouth. The salty snack made him crave more beer. He pushed the snacks closer to Seo Yigyeom.

Rustle. Rustle. The sounds Heeseo made fidgeting ceased, and silence settled once more. At that moment, Heeseo realized there was nothing much to talk about with Seo Yigyeom. For people working together, it was awkwardly quiet. However, strangely, it wasn’t completely uncomfortable, perhaps because they had been trapped underground together.

Another day of isolation… Heeseo chuckled, sipping his beer and breathing quietly. Seo Yigyeom, having glanced at him, didn’t bother breaking the silence, his eyes closed. The atmosphere around seemed quite cozy.

‘Waves interfere with my nerves, so there’s never a quiet moment.’

‘I quite like this.’

Seo Yigyeom was always sensitive to waves, preferring quiet environments. Heeseo wondered if this isolation was satisfactory for him. Having nearly finished his can, Heeseo leaned back more comfortably.

“I think this time is nice, too. Though it might not be for you, Guide-nim.”

Whether he liked it or not, it had been a tumultuous time. Today, however, his usually colorful days felt monochrome. There was no interference, just Seo Yigyeom sitting quietly beside him. The dreary reality was forgotten.

“Since joining the Esper Management Headquarters, I’ve always been busy. Thanks to this, I feel refreshed. Thank you for today.”

“Who wouldn’t know you’re working hard?”

Seo Yigyeom replied in a low voice, finishing his beer.

“I don’t mind it either. I quite like it.”

“But you hate wasting time.”

“Today, it doesn’t feel like a waste.”

His slow response made him look sleepy. Heeseo also felt his tension easing. It was strange; here they were, bound by some sort of deal, and yet everyone at the headquarters feared Seo Yigyeom, but Heeseo felt at ease. In fact, Seo Yigyeom didn’t seem as uncomfortable as before. There were just more moments when Heeseo’s heart felt itchy.

“Does Guide-nim ever have tough times?”

Heeseo’s clear eyes, mixed with a hint of concern, turned to Seo Yigyeom. Seo Yigyeom stared back at those eyes that seemed to see through everything. His subtle expression was clearly reflected in Heeseo’s light-colored eyes.

“Every day is shit.”

His answer came a beat late. There were no additional words. As if to say, that’s all the insight you get. While Heeseo was fiddling with his empty can in silence, Seo Yigyeom handed him another.

“Thanks.”

“If you get drunk, I’ll throw you out, so watch yourself.”

With that, he opened another can for himself. Watching him, Heeseo pushed more snacks towards Seo Yigyeom, worried about his empty stomach, though Seo Yigyeom seemed amused by the concern.

“Do you drink well?”

“I think I do better than you.”

“I’m not bad either.”

Despite saying so, Heeseo’s face was already flushed. The alcohol hit him fast on an empty stomach, and he started to relax.

“You’re impressive.”

It was a reply that could be taken as mockery or amusement. Heeseo, hugging his knees and resting his chin on them, gazed at Seo Yigyeom. Even in the darkness, his features were clear, capturing Heeseo’s attention. His face was the most beautiful and striking Heeseo had ever seen.

Though his face was beautiful, his expression was generally cold. In reality, he was rude and prickly. Yet, the more time they spent together, the more Seo Yigyeom seemed to open up. Heeseo had already held his hand several times. In truth, Heeseo had done nothing to earn this help.

As the gaze lingered, Heeseo’s eyes deepened. His amber eyes glowed with kindness.

“What should I do?”

“Do whatever you want.”

“Besides that.”

He remembered being told not to do anything. He wanted to protect him, but a slight doubt lingered.

“It feels like you’re at a loss here, Guide-nim.”

Was it because this was a topic yet to be faced at the headquarters or by the Head of Division? He felt like he was only benefiting from Seo Yigyeom.

“Me?”

Seo Yigyeom let out a scoff, asking back incredulously.

“You’re going to be in big trouble…”

He shook his head and drank his beer. No further words came out. Only his gaze towards the front had changed. The emotions within were hard to name, but Heeseo didn’t ask.

Meanwhile, Heeseo had finished another can, feeling drunker due to drinking so fast. The surroundings were quiet, and a good scent wafted from beside him. The atmosphere also contributed to his growing intoxication.

“It’s annoying.”

Heeseo whispered, relaxing his body during the silence.

“What is?”

Heeseo’s lips curved into a smile. He had anticipated this response. Someone who had a kind side wouldn’t ignore such a helpless confession. Clutching his can, Heeseo moved his lips.

“It’s okay, really. But sometimes, just sometimes, I’m not okay.”

It was the first genuine emotion he’d expressed, borrowing the courage from the alcohol. The humble feelings he had nowhere else to express quietly echoed out.

“On the way here, I was so anxious… I feel stupid, which annoys me.”

His voice, which had been calm, now trembled with emotion. Suddenly, he felt so wronged. Experiencing such moments for something he didn’t do. It was frustrating to have to damage his emotions helplessly.

“In fact, Guide-nim…”

Alcohol easily ignited his emotions. Maybe it was something he had wanted to say for a long time, or perhaps it was an intuition. Maybe it would be okay. With that thought, Heeseo spoke the words he had always broken down and swallowed.

“I didn’t kill anyone.”

His voice, wet with tears, trembled.

“I’m not just looking for someone. I’m looking for the real culprit.”

Heeseo opened his eyes wide, looking at Seo Yigyeom. Seo Yigyeom, who had been watching him all along, met his gaze instantly. Then, his red lips moved.

“I know.”

That single word, neither gentle nor kind, was enough. Heeseo’s eyes welled up with tears. They fell uncontrollably, despite his constant reminders not to be melodramatic. Seeing this, Seo Yigyeom furrowed his brows.

“Won’t you stop crying?”

“Why are you speaking so harshly…”

“I don’t have a hobby of comforting crying kids.”

With an “Ugh,” Heeseo’s lips drooped. Tears fell one by one. He cried like a child, his transparent face contrasting with the composed demeanor he had always shown. Seo Yigyeom watched him with a deep, almost marking gaze.

After crying for a while under Seo Yigyeom’s gaze, Heeseo wiped his eyes with his sleeve. His tender skin quickly turned red. Seo Yigyeom’s eyes traced this redness.

“Do you really, uh, believe me?”

Seo Yigyeom, who had been silently watching, closed the distance. He came close without breaking eye contact. Heeseo momentarily held his breath, fearing their noses or lips might touch.

“…”

Heavy breaths filled the space between them. His breath brushed against Heeseo’s skin, causing goosebumps. Seo Yigyeom reached out, touching Heeseo’s eyes as if wiping them, then flicked away the tears gathered on his lashes.

Heeseo’s amber eyes, lost, wavered. Seo Yigyeom’s gaze, which had been fixed on his eyes, moved down, scanning the reddened tip of his nose, his heated cheeks, and his trembling lips before returning to its place.

“That’s why I took you in.”

Their eyes of different colors locked deeply. The tears had stopped, leaving only the slight trembling of his body as evidence.

“Exactly…”

Seo Yigyeom whispered like he was handling a child and smiled. His red lips curved into a clear, almost chilling arc. Heeseo’s vision was filled entirely with Seo Yigyeom.

Ah. Heeseo let out a silent scream, squeezing his eyes shut. It felt like his breath stopped.

* * *

‘Go in and sleep.’

It was Seo Yigyeom’s final word, tying up the situation. His gaze urging action was firm, showing no cracks. With all energy drained, Kim Heeseo could only nod silently.

Before entering the room, Heeseo looked back at Seo Yigyeom with lingering regret, but he didn’t look back. It was best to withdraw his gaze and enter the room compliantly.

Weakly, Heeseo moved, laid out the folded blanket, and buried himself under it again. His body continued to tremble despite the thick winter blanket. It was unclear whether this was due to the fierce cold, long-standing resentment, or some strange satisfaction from the moment.

The white snow fell all night, silently covering the mountain lodge. The space, separated from the world, offered tranquility. Heeseo, buried in this tomb-like space, wandered through his subconscious.

Dreams sometimes reflect one’s current state of mind. They appear happy if you’re happy, sad if you’re sad. Heeseo’s dreams were no different.

In a world beyond consciousness, all in pure white, Heeseo stood alone. Everything was so white that he couldn’t move, for there were red bloodstains on him.

Everyone in that space ignored Heeseo, isolating him thoroughly from their circle. His voice didn’t reach them.

Even if faded to the point of almost being erased, the bloodstains were a vivid scar, becoming shackles that held his steps. He stood like a specimen for a long time until he was pushed down by the pure white figures.

As he fell, Heeseo looked up instead of down. There, Seo Yigyeom was reaching out to him. He saw him shouting something as he stretched out his arm, but it was unclear if their hands met in desperation. Only the chilling sensation that crept up his spine to his head remained.

“…”