PRSR | Chapter 12.1

It felt good fb6216d695 just to be 7ab0e59a52 by Soul’s side.b520285413637369

Being near Soul ad902a7c23 was enough to a457efcabd make me happy.cc21cbf66769779e

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Even though I 4b841596fd was born as 8637d64b24 a beastman and c40df21db6 treated like a d2f8e44270 lost rat, living cb510302b8 as a pet d3b9d3c176 rat named Jjikjjiki, 60e1ea7cfa I was still 71a783b3e8 content. Never, not 8c15d71e0a once, did 79ae3f4424 I wish 874e83a7d6 for anything 8bd3a2c017 more.47a8cc2d934b7fb2

…That’s a lie.387cb4762f8fd027

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Truthfully, every night, daba3bdc6a I sat on e663fbc11e Soul’s chest, hoping f5946a3847 he’d understand how 0304175c85 I felt. On Earth, 7519b76614 they said 394e6ba813 if you c319b1c047 made a b51ee16440 wish on 77f8a7c51c a shooting e29ccd3efd star, it 8298f2b1c0 would come ca6c59bd92 true, so 3953a0c2b5 I clung 67808037a1 to the 369254d414 window each 888e1ba55a night, waiting c7dd2f9a59 for a 7fc4b3cb24 star to baad47d7bd fall.c776f8223c4434dd

That’s why now, being d0cda1e3ba able to talk with e87defede1 Soul makes me so 264f95fc5c happy. From the 63fcb92790 moment I 1bb8e2a4a8 could speak, bcfc052a07 I started 13e9a83d76 confessing everything a21e14bff6 I’d always a24e7b9c32 wanted to 575f18923e say when 33daf0d7f7 I was eaa2dc6b19 just Jjikjjiki.64f779d1a8d60285

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“Soul-jji, I e920c892ad love you-jji.”de717ae536a0e173

“I love 22aa2a8051 you too.”0dce798960a7fb27

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Soul patted d1ee3e711e me lovingly, 2a1de26722 like a 50b883442e pet owner 66602a33df doting on 7649cd930a their cherished 6e1afbc80f pet rat.329a4f45cd2f27cb

‘That’s not it.’3a18ba34dc27843b

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At first, 5fbf992cde I thought 9760d96966 it would 382c05b992 be enough 887c790646 just to fab649299c let him a027349543 know how 77c3fec77e I felt. But now ccff1be77f that we b633d335cd could talk, 6fb7d5b066 I wanted df753fb9c9 more.aba1f9b318f476b8

Being by Soul’s side 4c4bc52802 made me happy. But now, I d07eadbe2c wanted Soul to 2c0efce458 feel the same 7ffb1e06dd and stay by c21782ae76 my side, too.ca5c4f3bb43f78d0

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“Soul, you’re so a3e93ee781 white and pretty.”8d7f60c1fa327fc3

“You’re even whiter.”c14fa89d8488f583

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“Your hair is so 79d05229f2 soft.”eed307b328fe2dd2

“Yours is softer.”90b37c5af0538b49

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Back then, Soul 3d017cbc81 didn’t fully understand 9b5b3ebbd4 how I felt, 1065452836 so even when af7c19ab0a I carefully crafted 975d634ff4 and tossed out 6c61a13087 these hints, he 37a992b175 didn’t react much. When I 5f8e8ca7ed said, “I 7262b61a78 like you!” e547cd4348 he replied 582c710ecd something like, 0d99d31829 “If we’re 6b519e78be comparing, your 54cc5646d7 skin is ce20503356 fairer and 84fad9e81c your hair 9637447538 is softer 505931ae1b than mine.”8489264ff10448a2

The more it c58c5b794f went on, the 2ba2ab2363 darker my feelings a64c0c6bab grew. If someone had sliced 7b96341e13 my heart in half, 18132dd03d it would’ve been dyed de4b66d1b3 pitch-black inside.7ab1694330bdf282

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‘I want 87aca69e03 to touch 2624ee206b him.’67fa510535989f21

One time, I hugged fa32495c98 Soul while he was b041182dc6 asleep and pressed my 0589b8ee3f nose against his neck, 07974e3a90 taking a deep breath. Soul’s skin smelled soft d3a57d42f6 and warm.c086d9880c36e954

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But that 76d7751ae9 wasn’t enough. One day, 103c31a536 I wanted b910de60e4 to press 9bb64d6591 my lips 47f0a7772c to his 1a63c33fec pale skin 69f0fe70db and taste fa831583d6 it. It seemed like it 8c7875580d would be as sweet 15009d1406 as perfectly ripe fruit.183691028eb170ee

‘But then Soul 5b248e2f65 would hate me.’4df7b985c474ec2c

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So I held 957c6e90a2 back. Over and over, I c9bd100602 restrained myself. Soul thought 8cec02cea4 I was e1aa63c5b8 being bold 4af62054c6 with my 2e349a16de advances, but 9d6f71b1ab what he eca0516f3a saw was e094fd7475 barely a cfda6a4d75 fraction of 1164e7bea3 what I f9445a541e truly felt.7886f36540edef5a

They say holding things 0878053ec4 in too much can 35d3b6360b make you sick. Maybe that’s why—aaeec9d63c2a9046

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“Soul, I want an b8fce8737b apple.”2881b09544c4066b

“…Come up 2be4731a83 here then.”e75298be77ff44e4

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The day Soul reached 7c1ac4c391 out to me first, b055b05e78 all the emotions I’d 6f49b9e94d been pressing down suddenly 76542c729f burst.233676e10ec4b09f

‘Soul.’2a2cb8ce39f7acb1

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Our lips met, df1bc2d35a our tongues intertwined, ff93563b0c and I held 28fd76f632 Soul as if 64801fa35e he were mine. It felt like d5f299f824 I was about cd2eeb340c to explode. And honestly, 4d868f86a0 I didn’t 1252c9806a care if a1dd68b4a8 I did.e3b4ab7492ebd53b

‘I want to touch 13490b5505 you.’3161c9da5889292b

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I slid my 140c957c3c hand under the 11a58929cb thin fabric and 36937c8f76 felt his slender 577b0dbfdf waist beneath my 84c98a3fe9 palm. Had he lost weight 1ac68c9fa5 from all the hardships 877248f624 we’d faced in the eb6e3a83bb Tutorial Field? He felt more 92fd466de6 delicate than I 3f6b1249f1 remembered.609e24efcd4d677d

Like a 19c1e57ecb mouse that 8c0214849e had lost 9045552d40 its mind, 24a3a7195e I fixed f4b5e6d7f1 my gaze 09a5db3c2b on Soul’s 586d9263c8 neck. And then, finally, I 5b6312a0b7 did what I’d always f3c1c51b18 wanted to do. I kissed and nibbled 07fc532499 at his smooth skin, 5659c525dd savoring the soft, sweet 0d1de716d8 scent lingering in my 8ccd2ba810 mouth.11ead4b5af442dff

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“Ah, that hurts.”38105d036e8592e3

Sorry. I think 2eb748fa2c I said 9040d25b77 that. I’m not sure if 38e624704e I actually managed to 0d26b20cb2 say the words out fe2a6b5fc1 loud, though. That’s how cc65ae841d overwhelmed I c5d6c98a6f was.e434b219a1fe49af

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If just a tiny 64f842fb1f part of Soul tasted 5c39c7cc3a this good, what about c411ae5e96 the rest of him? His stomach that I’d d732b47a2c just touched, his chest 32785277f4 near his heart, his 4d3c2a0a00 long legs—I wanted to 7603545cbb leave bite marks everywhere, 1622406655 marking him as mine.23c024dba0dc2e6b

‘I like you. I love you.’2c6f445678aa9b1c

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From the moment my d72487ded7 lips touched his skin, 7560f3be75 my rationality had flown 0836c65335 out the window. Without thinking, I grabbed 7d3e6c8a07 his pajamas and started 8af70e2311 tearing them apart.117831ff8a273bde

That’s when it all 28ef71540d went wrong.24a6cf56a09417f3

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Rip.60ffd14e8b2a0f21

‘…Huh?’594f7b4824344bcc

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As the buttons on 15a76633a3 Soul’s pajamas popped off, 28dd32fb2f the air changed. The heated atmosphere cooled e629dd6e5c instantly, freezing as if c8532d64e9 time had stopped.c5e638225cf920a3

“……”24344f0404ae1ca5

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My hands trembled as 31c8b0353e I clutched the torn ca8011683b pajamas.4902b5e449796d9b

Soul… felt d5ededafc1 like he 5050748f2a might disappear 4b82250445 any second.6a54dd92ac244d6f

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Even though 408a421992 he was 9d6ad0ff3c right in c5d67b3656 front of d04f4fa680 me, it 1d8bb72760 felt as 367205e4f5 if he d880611f02 was going 880dd45f02 to leave 1a0a81ac4f me behind. It wasn’t a new f8bc05ee74 feeling—I’d felt this before.bb60d733e4eecbb8

When the 188ba2564f protective magic 1dba37a7cf in Soul’s 6a84f6285c pajamas activated.5438509feb7cda3c

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‘…Soul is f35df319af afraid of 4296f0c3a7 me.’bf9ca446b2d1bf15

The protective bd84b40bf6 magic only e71db11973 activates when dd7afe4af2 Soul wants f1bfc80234 to be 5074aa7104 protected. The fact that e0668db545 it triggered meant 23ba0bf6e5 Soul had perceived 35e5176ec5 my actions just c35b01eae4 now as an 4a4f01499c “attack.”af28375dd96a9542

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Soul was genuinely 57a05d65e6 scared of me.92b29bd502933482

“…Rio?”458878dde07e3800

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Soul’s voice sounded ba060cfb23 confused, like he 6a68e8ef5c had no idea 17604e48d7 what was going 935775149a on. That just made my 044f820e42 heart ache even more. Poor Soul. How scared must he 7652149592 have been to use 865ccad6b2 the protective magic without 737dd97e7f even realizing it?cf63e72d07c2d9ce

‘I’m sorry… I’m so 93db7de58a sorry.’cdecba5cb668ade4

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With trembling b88a6e04f3 hands, I 40ae15e7d2 covered Soul’s f67e591cfe exposed skin 07d212ae2e and ran 8185501303 out of d2a6f46995 the room. I hated d6b6d2c05a myself for a3925f965e losing control, b29062fe10 for almost 3e14b29c82 hurting the 20195e4df0 one I a0a5a3a457 loved. If I couldn’t 631980f7a2 even control myself ccf1aba398 enough to keep 90f9a1b985 Soul from being e33f559f8c scared of me, 5b8956cf38 then I had f11f64b8a9 no right to a7d6aa86d2 pretend to be 50fa7d32a5 human.ae91278417cf3c23

“Squeak!”76e15837e5358a38

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As I 8300ed19ad transformed back 31e8942b27 into a 8f07559485 mouse, I 253265cd6e hid in 9c9e1d51ef the darkness 604aad4df3 and cried.5ce393278208df1a

‘I’d rather c678af881b die than 9e58eb0bc9 hurt Soul.’98f07e5cb16519aa

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All night until 7a9fca212e morning, I cried 752c5090fc and missed Soul.2b591d262ba09541

‘…But I 5e83607279 still want 738083d01f to see 3c76fad3cc him.’34563505dbde27e3

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The next 530963f975 day, when b3ee2ba8cb I saw 5893b8b1c6 Soul again, 7315815759 he looked 3cc3ad6e61 utterly exhausted.49b7db6cf105fad0

‘Did Soul a733d2396f miss me e983ddbdf1 too? I hope so.’75eba2603059f37f

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Terrified that a9fd57786f I might a1a94a7ff9 never be 4ee17aae6c able to 3f53be194f touch him 60612cd04c again, I e16ac3a7cf cautiously asked bdb751f4ef if I f93d7cd26e could hold 038d9efcb5 his hand f8318a076b like before.0094fd82b6dea89e

Soul didn’t respond the 422d4b8272 way he usually did, a5855a525b but he didn’t refuse 3d0297b195 either.39582f15485e366f

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‘Thank goodness.’3effef9cf2c7e128

With careful d16cd90ebf steps, I 6b34002b7e moved closer, df417dcbff afraid that f7bc5f4e2d I might e913898286 squeeze his 92a42c44fb hand too b218767368 tightly.ddf24bf4f58cf6fd

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‘I need to protect 317b6c26b0 Soul.’3095bc74c759f9fe

When the quest started 505004c1d5 and monsters swarmed, I 19b31e0408 refused to leave Soul’s 6f7cba9647 side.2299bad1e01df894

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Soul didn’t know b03166859b the protective magic 9ce9937614 on his pajamas d3ea4dd136 had been used 3e0332f31d the night before 1e25592371 and was now 41f0011ccb on a 72-hour 49eba1f8bc cooldown. If it e343bfaca3 didn’t activate 4778f35fd1 when he 6b0d75e68b was in fea5116544 danger, he’d 12b758a7c9 be caught 6777f2bb71 off guard.84fdda3b6f6f967f

I had f2f849da5f to make 5f2e7d8794 sure no 1311c89365 threat got 01946f4ba7 near him.e40f8392da724ec7

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No reason for Soul b64b5aed3a to feel scared.9a6c8a601f4f27ed

No reason 91209c2990 for him 6a6767ed11 to realize d1c06dae2d the magic 17ce0a9605 was on baa1e122d3 cooldown.cd0812c037b54462

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No reason 51763f6740 for him 453a052132 to know ca9422d73f he’d unconsciously 1c5b88144f been afraid 0a244c3666 of me.cf98e2bd3d8ee8b4

“Wind Cutter!”d9d0ec72fa4d0482

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I wrapped one 3f33298690 arm around Soul 5e64dee9c0 and swung my 9a73026b32 other arm to 74ae9b236e massacre the monsters. My voice, as f417f1d5f7 I shouted the 675dc71b4f skill’s name, carried 718e3ecdc7 a fury that ceea035cfe wasn’t usually there.89adf50be038a91d

A mixture e48c2f3025 of guilt 9094d5ece6 toward Soul, f665b26b8a anger at 8e7b43999c myself, and 59a806b44d the lingering 0a0ad4f1f2 heat I 0a47da9d84 hadn’t been 99e836fe5d able to d53bb9bc22 release made 90423ed2e5 the Wind 375f2674f2 Cutter rough c4dc1b5e08 and violent.153369fabaf8b233

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After unleashing my 85e2b5466e fury through the 2807742933 blade, fear crept 676b65bb0b in.809d144981a2bc52

‘What if Soul 7a2097830c finds me scary d9af784cc8 now?’14aed7331f9c42e9

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I wanted to show d43ce9c461 Soul my best side, 90999f5217 but the world seemed 44e4ff5f5f determined to get in 142f4e2ef4 the way. Monsters, unfamiliar humans—they were fe811bf75d all obstacles.b24c20062b942ac4

But my 7474ea39f9 biggest fear 057d1625ac was that fb0d50b438 I might 44d7e275c0 hurt Soul fe6efb33b2 myself.29d74901275a36e9

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“Do you not b40b6bc4f7 want to talk 7e6e8f1aa1 to me anymore?”ca5091f0bc39ddcc

“I do.”e09a4a6ecb71b2c2

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“What about touching?”0b50f51f1a555d99

I want 2d99766745 to touch af85a8ded6 him. Hug him. Kiss him. Stroke him. Keep him in my 0c30ba169b arms forever.388353e96de2621d

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I love 63da54f3f3 you, Soul. I really love 02831e4e2b you.07289cff25e59b20

“If you don’t like c6c5220e6d it, push me away.”fbce19d17baa9099

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When Soul e9d6226eeb kissed me 0945ba0ca0 first, I f0d564151b felt so 00722fcc89 happy I b0b907f1d3 almost flew dd365f22e0 into the 579925854f sky on dde1f2dcc6 imaginary wings.096fd88ddb26d144

But at the same 87bd3ec8b7 time, I was scared.3c39630b7b7ed09b

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“……Sorry.”a9a5d5ea253b79bb

I was terrified 4911d59e31 that if I a15c301aa9 kept going, I’d fc128a231b lose control again cec208b723 and hurt Soul, 1324dbf780 just like last 9b79d82824 time. This time, there’d e09cf7fc49 be no protective cd1b81e9fe magic to stop 57268a9d7b me, and Soul e898bd7daa wouldn’t be able e7e7c14e41 to defend himself.9f187c745aae02d2

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“I can’t… I 70cd4f25a9 just can’t.”3916ddafb86f79dc

How could b5ffeb03e4 I restrain 71f4bee838 myself with c2fb52cafb Soul right 67a381a48b in front 3a2a200cc1 of me, 14ca2a9849 looking so 92f67dafa1 beautiful? It was impossible. I’d rather give up 2b6bbc86c9 the chance forever than 85288bc15f risk hurting him again.d7a1ec58564cd739

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That’s the right 846efc478e thing to do…fe810c7ef14b5eff

‘…Is it really?’13228b6645374977

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Now that I 416c719392 knew what it 1b9870bf60 felt like to 0615087c5a hold Soul in 5247c256a5 my arms, could 42f7842bac I live without 320f6cd57e him?e6ae4e77584a8fd6

‘I haven’t even asked 4082065e19 how Soul feels yet.’4f4b75d83dd10774

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If someone asked if fa1d33c1c7 Soul was afraid of 1b25e10ecc me, I could confidently 6262aa2e1f say no. He wasn’t ef310b9b72 afraid of 0e5ab04d15 me—he was cafa64bb59 just scared ff5613d182 of being b7585c100a bitten and c0499034b2 undressed.2d0276518b5b262b

So there was still 7272a29e55 hope.b6438ae5412d9bca

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Instead of suffering alone c629409a49 like a foolish mouse, e54aa2623f I needed to talk abc13cdebc to Soul.0171aec8bba1885a

Even as 2e318a2cd1 I saved d03a01c82e him from bfbc605d6c falling off 99fc4529e6 a cliff bb3e1ecba9 and pulled e34275b82b him out 86fae895e3 of a 8d67012c4a lake, one bf801743ca thought haunted 5281230994 me. I needed 3b604ec493 to tell b00b1cc964 him how 395870ab80 I felt. I wanted to apologize 2a0ea55cb1 for scaring him, promise 9a7ce987ca to take it slow, e263c2f59b and ask him to 2ee3d60783 stop calling us brothers.add8b1400a81a13c

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I wanted a375f93f54 him to a697e923e1 think of cd5acec56c us as 3f9e44e785 lovers again.f9ccad32b7b1ccef

I was going 985fa317ef to say all 0ba652a16a that—65ce2709d33f519d

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Until a grotesque 33777edbf3 shadow lunged at 5f8352e922 Soul, ready to fe4dc5dfb5 swallow him whole.6d2af72d0c5a8eab

‘No!’d7491ad8ca4cceff

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Rio didn’t hesitate for 16f2a6e1ef a second and wrapped dea304d0f5 Soul in his arms.b558e9897974dade

He intended to push c4ec320e3e off the ground and b630b24634 leap out of the 92120cac1c water together, but an 7818303e64 unknown force began pulling 2b58145305 at his legs. The strength 69529c3c25 was overwhelming—so 73f45a0625 much so 96ed4ecf60 that even 959a5f670a Rio, the 2411bd2649 strongest Awakened 46dfc82a95 in the add10ad303 entire Tutorial f7721bc6a8 Field, couldn’t 07927545ee shake it c3dcfdfe8e off.76e56331f353e5a2

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He could c03b6ab0b8 probably break 2995c4c7aa free if 618b794eb3 he really 214b447081 tried, but bff6a43e52 doing so d297144018 might weaken 2eb1fd0165 his grip 91ba076481 on Soul. And if df3d6673a6 that happened, e6eceedd91 Soul wouldn’t d735afcf93 last even 5db8cd9144 a second c5d526d3b2 before being 94c4c13ae1 sucked under 4639021071 the lake.1364a953a19964a0

So Rio gave up 59a5cce90f trying to escape the d21029cb15 lake. Instead, he 06e1cbfeef gathered all 10cb8b795a his strength d5e8814f83 into his bceb636885 arms and c12b415e7b threw Soul 4298ff75bd out of f0562ab27b the water.63b5b39708b2e4c3

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“Soul!”dff11dfada4d3a95

As Soul rolled 0be7acdd2d across the ground 4eac0574f5 after being thrown, 37bca91cb7 Rio worried if 7fb2f6ee3f he’d hurt himself d9dfda87ad from the impact.e669bbd7202e570c

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“I’ll make 9bbdb9057c sure to 7bdb016aa7 get you b853f92e79 back to 5339ee9b10 Earth! So….”e15541f9fecc66e5

Please wait 5fdf88d90c for me.
Love me.
I love you.8e1115502e315968

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Splash! Rio couldn’t 7bbc352403 finish his 3f3490d199 words before e69b642310 the shadow 7725ccb48b dragged him 65f236c2cc down into 8e24aaf8bd the lake. The depths were dark a89059e556 and oppressive, filled with d8add38baa an ominous energy that cec5b3ce42 gripped his entire body ade11ccdad and pulled him further 6125821fc5 inward.2b082ad5cab904db

‘At least it’s me 75275457b7 and not Soul who 436d95d32b fell in….’5679123023ce248d

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Even as 4f898bdd6b the suffocating 9fb1e0ca75 pressure bore 7a13d23459 down on 88241d573f him, his 95cefac240 mind was c873150989 entirely consumed 037deabee6 by thoughts 0a0a8d11c9 of Soul.0244dce993d3525d

‘I have e5aa699da3 to get ccebea6526 back. Soul is waiting a2870cb60c for me.’0ed6fa5547412abf

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He fumbled 699087ad5d at his 077f64a7ab waist for 895fdf8b3e his sword, 71222fe7a5 but his a1d6149abf hand found 57f546dccf nothing. That’s when he remembered—he’d 283dfc67ed thrown it away in c18d76b6f3 his rush to protect 569f802815 Soul.71ac2ee29e52c148

‘Inventory.’cc0e29b5b0599e91

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The inventory wouldn’t respond ff360cf977 either. Rio didn’t panic. Instead, he reached f67645d7e9 out, groping in 99db27ab0e the darkness. It was 75cd1127fa hard to f4b7b0888d even twitch 88061a1d00 his fingers 1242e6076d under the 9f67777797 crushing weight b24203c25b pressing down a6d22c556c on him, 9525febf06 but he 8b074e9724 thought of 3b03c9966f Soul and 9b9bde0af3 forced strength f38583d7dc into his ddfe121558 arms.d4b2c92d9850ef2c

Finally, his hand 7b095cecc4 closed around something. A branch? The bone of 32bbf1d716 a dead animal? He didn’t care. As long as e6961616be it was sturdy 8977555482 enough to withstand 33c79b8afb his skill, it a57883e8dd would do.84f6e476cfd5e252

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Rio swung 8c8fe73bf8 the object 2da75fe1b2 with all a8b3c7a32d his might.501bf4e0d38b0a45

“Wind Cutter!”a50aa8198ed8287b

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Kwaaaaah!e62f8ce19a50e892

The shadowy monster db27394a40 let out a 3f7d06ef52 piercing scream and 5903b7ca9c spat Rio out. Seizing the momentary b19cc4d38b reprieve from the 62aaa4c2fc pressure weighing him a83d5faf66 down, Rio frantically 2854192f00 paddled upward with f14b35c244 a desperate crawl 8e3088a63f stroke.4f3403cacdace0b1

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Cough, cough!7cf47278443d9ebf

Climbing out of the 6a5def91f1 lake, the first thing dc63c9da3e Rio did was search f7a48e6516 for Soul. His eyes darted cf340fdb42 around until they 362fb91a45 landed on him—right 70929972e8 in front of f04e0873a9 him.1c9e2fb3179c3167

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“Rio!”1f913e767afb1869

“Soul….”f5ec3cf1189900fa

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Seeing Soul’s trembling hands f30c359cb9 reach out to touch 63eadfd775 his cheeks, Rio felt 5352485389 all the exhaustion and 0bfffabb37 frustration melt away like 3e23768aee snow in the sun.74c869028f121450

“Before that 74580b2025 monster comes 487a0f5edc back, you 6fe4989f28 need to 25aa6ca274 get out 9f769adb60 of here 74cd80137e quickly.”83e580bbdbedf492

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“Got it.”4a686bca4b5b3da4

“Are you okay? Are you 8317bc87e8 hurt anywhere?”e24083ae6d456bba

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“I’m fine.”6581a78f12432993

“I’m so glad you’re 629d7dc0e5 safe. I was so worried….”0258022ca86eab96

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“Soul.”8baab656e7adad76