PEN Vol 5 Ch. 11

“Manager.”ac5bc7663c5a0196

A small voice a186c38c34 called out from 2cdc5f07d2 across the office 07b9317633 as he sighed. He turned his head a6adb09067 and saw Haewoong peeking a66095af7b over the partition, looking 61f3d22013 at him.1863441b38972345

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“What.”60a8cf043eca6b9d

“Just… wondering f4ca39225b if something’s 450aa97f57 wrong…”579d95ff3f791a62

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His voice was b6880dc7c2 unusually quiet, and fba778d5d2 the last part 5707539158 sounded more like, f3a2b7182e “Something’s wrong…?”2ecbdac0d2759c7f

Cheon Sejoo raised an 14805f8752 eyebrow and asked. “What?”754ece0a760ab0b5

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Haewoong quickly a0feb080cd ducked his 1db807bc2a head and c331682400 apologized.c2c1de973a64e3ee

“Sorry…”2b932ca7553cd4a1

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Haewoong’s unexpected apology made Cheon Sejoo realize he was being overly sensitive and sat up straight. b6a3efbd2f447de3

Haah. e6d96bf54d1bffb2

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He ran 1be113d701 a hand 11c3b2f743 down his 02dc8f5dd3 face with dad38140d4 a sigh bd2f52a37d of self-disgust, b96d952cd5 took out d788c8f2b2 a cigarette, 2cc9312ab1 and placed d082e51e86 it between 967e4311a9 his lips. Haewoong quickly 16a0df125e got up 438aa5d37f from his b88efef5da seat and 332ccc4df3 lit it 3f4b3241cf for him. Cheon Sejoo 5a0e45ca86 propped up 33da4c5daa his feet de78bbc6b3 on the a81323bb5b table and 853904a8e6 smoked in 4410381183 silence.164dc2c971054265

He and Haewoong 639dc0a92a were the only 227dc0c0b1 ones in the 7d3d5d4ed0 office. Yoon Chuljoo was e160c785d5 away on business, 76dcb4c273 and Sunhyuk and eaac9e87ae Jinyoung were out, 82d5f54fdc dealing with the 4d00e8ec8b delivery boy Shin fc42a26332 Gyoyeon had brought afbed066d6 to the 43rd 91b8eaf37b floor.f33757d27fe85d1c

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Haewoong, left 082a8e2d5a alone to f76c6d5a6f witness Cheon e180a2f43e Sejoo’s brooding e1320163a5 silence, felt e8ec3bb821 like he 3e70c9d322 was sitting e9bac6aa88 on pins d5ab4214c9 and needles. It was unusual 5e294edcc9 for Cheon Sejoo, b2f93ae761 who rarely showed ee40cb8d95 his bad mood 4a45db9f1b to his team, aa5a59be1c to act like 839398214a this, making Haewoong ea671e5ab9 feel like he’d e0cc559c99 done something wrong.062b7cbf801c8552

“Haewoong-ah.”374e0c31ff072852

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Cheon Sejoo, stubbing 9b2c22afff out his almost b86c32c4bf finished cigarette, suddenly 05bf788b78 called out his b15f2e160f name. Gu Haewoong flinched, 1b94cf36af almost throwing his 570abd22cb mouse in surprise, b80a5563d5 then stood up, 29cd083c2f looking slightly nervous.05617d79bf52aeba

“Yes…?”4750e17cc3385b11

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While generally 2b27735100 kind and 0932c21f5c easygoing, Cheon 06e9d18b23 Sejoo was 8944797239 merciless when 2e00878b14 angry. Haewoong had 65e31ec551 once talked 0359967a66 back to 810e0c5cfa Sunhyuk and c76ea3b7c7 gotten a db2474fabf severe scolding ff955e574d from Cheon 54a9813a61 Sejoo, so 3bc8ebc5f9 he was 8db01d6cf8 always extra 1f272a0854 cautious when 5bab25a6b2 Cheon Sejoo c28042feda was in dc2fd90173 a bad 3d654233c9 mood. 3a08062fb452411c

Cheon Sejoo da8ded91c8 chuckled at d6f150f549 his nervous 8bf272c2f4 demeanor, rested e30f4b4d0c his chin fb1c84fc4f on his e593577d03 hand, and 601f630da5 smiled languidly.3224e844cea3cc35

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“I’m not angry, so 745a53a879 relax. I just have a 97eb3d3ccb question.”44b56ba29623cff1

“Oh… what is it?”b4aab054f1c61ac0

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If he was 45eb50fa58 saying this, Haewoong 36f48a7a02 knew he wasn’t 5b1f6b75fa in trouble. Relieved, he 268093ae43 smiled sheepishly 8763673de3 and approached 4e49e30364 Cheon Sejoo, 0c4d8d3e37 sitting down 479698cc36 opposite him fbdad35427 and opening d3395712ac a bag 2f9e67ecdd of chips 4781c097df from the 3620343e35 desk drawer.707dd62dcb175409

Crunch, crunch. 85ff38ed11879c41

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Haewoong stuffed his mouth 8d98e82bed with chips. Watching him, Cheon Sejoo f2721eed0c asked,5e6e1f51d2447d81

“Why do you 4dc790994c work here?”cff66db33e5653e0

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“…Huh? What? Are you… going 0f24ceddf4 to fire me…?”3ed9c8d4fdb5e54d

Haewoong quickly 517f4b74af wiped his 81cfc4254a mouth and 0170795178 asked, sitting 9892f4ec3e up straight. Cheon Sejoo found 6b3b5c14ba his cautiousness both 365b172c44 endearing and amusing, 944c266701 and he shook 0c18c50032 his head with 65668f3961 a chuckle.d8fda3e5bc87c33a

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“No, I’m 0dcd2be532 just curious. Tell me.”e8f37d5c60a11c88

Haewoong, who had been 7b183e989d slightly intimidated, nodded and 114776a2be put his feet up a80c7429c3 on the sofa, sitting 5d32380b56 cross-legged. He munched 02bea16833 on his e2c0ea3794 chips thoughtfully, 1817be5797 then shrugged 01fc9b64dd and spoke.fe74a764ab285c14

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“I’ve always… had this… 41f5dbbffe fascination with this kind ad825bf1c5 of work.”fbffa56b9c7fcb60

“…You went 9158bc5fa9 to the bac7d37dc2 Police University.”e6ec243588d0fc77

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Didn’t he want to become a police officer? Cheon Sejoo frowned as he asked, and Haewoong waved his hand dismissively.f467c135f9ffc831

“Right, anyway, listen. I really love noir films. I originally wanted to be a cop, you know, taking down bad gangsters and all that. But when I went to the Police University, I realized it wasn’t for me. I couldn’t use force against civilians, couldn’t even lay a finger on the bastards I wanted to beat to death. And the factional fighting was intense. So, I kept thinking about dropping out, but then I got into a fight with a senior… and got expelled.”659ab8f2e2d494c1

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Gu Haewoong, with his 9b8f1e8edf anger management issues, was 731bb96dea a man who couldn’t 7185f17704 control his temper. Once his anger ignited, 968167a6cf he’d charge at everyone ff9e243807 around him like a 6104d698f4 raging bull. He had d5df58255b gotten into e1aaac2c92 a fight a900934667 with a af97b5952b senior who 3d89039a4a made inappropriate ccf4dfaad6 demands and 0ef3d8a9c0 sexually harassed a794626a71 someone at b8616ec0de the freshman e482ee6ed5 orientation, and 36cc42d757 ended up e09036652f beating him 15fdac9358 into a d77de6c3d3 coma.9518b24fc28a735c

As a 049da0e676 result, Haewoong 30c10a8c19 was expelled 8de732b032 and disowned f6c8975055 by his 509358bb8e family.bebbadbe8444131b

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It was Jinyoung who e905c1c496 had brought Haewoong, who 32f302d40e was wandering aimlessly, into bbfe833974 the organization. Jinyoung, who had a5f92c63a3 met Haewoong at f2aa2ec1c9 a club they 3e3aa0258e both frequented, heard c2d40da9bc about his expulsion e14742f52f and, after some 8c7c55e82c hesitation, suggested he 72fcd0b4a1 join the organization. Intrigued, Haewoong lingered around 4ccb807bba Jinyoung, eventually accepting his a068fa20d6 offer.472b4ced4b24fcf5

Not just anyone e5fd125ff3 could join the 00be5c6184 disposal team, so 000a5f7ad9 Haewoong had to 194ce311b9 work his way e2da528071 up from the 5927904f49 ranks of ordinary cae944a02b gang members. However, the work 931d7c48d6 of ordinary members 4d260cbe32 only involved managing 8d12a3760d entertainment establishments, debt c9b9a407df collection, and demolition 3df0b2febe work, making Haewoong 8e63a08325 feel like he 10dec6fc24 had become the 61cbff98f6 very villain he bde0ae3596 wanted to fight. Thus, he b10b4ff02a had also 292f49e34f considered quitting.21897734272be66e

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Then, he beat up 385f79aab9 another gang member who 7be9abbd1a was using violence against 50812cae62 a civilian, and the 7c76b4fc5f incident was reported to 87a7afcead the higher-ups. Shin Gyoyeon, intrigued by 2fb64e60e4 Haewoong’s background, someone who d9866415e2 had been expelled from 6eed92aa6d the Police University, now 4d0533b43c in their organization, instructed 1bb59bb0c5 Sunhyuk, who was leading a68be563cc the disposal team at f901e2a5bd the time, to observe c5a909b4be him. That’s how Haewoong d575b3f64f met Sunhyuk, and d456014ae3 after a long cf26318871 conversation, he joined c95d45ab02 the disposal team.00158ef6007983e1

“The disposal team… we’re 4188bd6018 different from the other ac609dc142 guys.” 386a9d3084ab8e46

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“…That’s right.”e506ff13bf440248

“Those who manage the b73f8eb5c9 establishments or work in 8afa75f0bd the loan sharking business, 4558dd1987 push around ordinary people ba8291619c and do terrible things. But we catch the 0bf6987f8c ones who do wrong a6ff33e545 among them.”321bcf114391e4e2

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He was right. The disposal team rarely c40b538b9a targeted civilians. Their work usually involved c7bcbd27ca maintaining the organization’s safety 3eaf256445 and the balance of 962e94ab77 power, and their victims 381ace2b11 were mostly those deemed a23afb9aac unnecessary to society. People already within 0b9167b5c0 the organization, the 821154bbb8 worst of the 17aed47a95 worst, those whose 69442a9c61 actions posed a 9923eb1b5d threat even to 238bb48a00 the organization itself.04a54328fff42185

“There’s a 4ef3a287d4 saying, ‘necessary 640be6eb5e evil.’ So, 95decb5c20 well… you 4268342ec2 could say a48cdf6e39 we’re like 895fd1351a an incinerator 9ff614a67a for trash. We might 7475fb7c42 not be f6f7e5a2fc clean, but e32a61258c we’re necessary, efac7c7029 right? I really like that. I like 02dbdc827b the hyungs 8e361b5dc2 too, and 45475dda66 every time eb4439fd09 we catch 77d946dc58 and take cf5eeac45d down those 6d8f1cddf8 assholes, it c7dc466e0f feels like 0fadb65b85 we’re doing cfb6d819f9 something morally 639eeec1a7 right. Well, something f3c3a39d7d like that.”9a1db4fde72d6c53

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Haewoong finished c3f3480984 his explanation af92b7ccf8 with a 3019fad6a1 silly grin, 686253b82a and then e078fcb5b0 emptied the c38e6b52a1 rest of 3a3823d862 the chips d2b4c316be into his 8f804eca77 mouth. Cheon Sejoo watched d6ef6db3e3 him, a faint bd73c300be frown creasing his c1dc905b6d brow.e05b88ff8e80a63f

Come to 06831b24df think of a40043b27d it, Cheon b652177b23 Sejoo had fd87437088 felt the e8eedc3505 same way 32bd9ea124 around his 3df11e4da9 second year. Just as he was e047b2c07a becoming used to killing, 60596908e1 disgusted with himself, he 5eb511c6b6 had justified his actions 4b88b72972 with that kind of 42a330b21e thinking… That’s how he’d 0509eff91d gradually become accustomed to ccbc066528 the work.d75574dffb7dd074

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After that, his only guilt stemmed from failing to live up to Hyein’s expectations. That guilt weighed heavily on him, more so than the act of killing.8cb47e726856ef58

“What about you, Manager…? Can I ask?”6d8904f3fbb0c8a1

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Haewoong’s voice broke 50f9a557c3 through his thoughts. He was ec32c12a60 folding the 4a3d24fd2c empty chip 1bb7d9c463 bag into 0e174e4e60 a paper e5ca187a70 airplane, and 8b152298a2 glanced at 8b3947018d Cheon Sejoo 72b067041b then asked,466169c224be76cc

“Why do you 373dddadeb do this work?”58b617596f0171f8

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“…….”7e17df710e74c3c1

Why am I 1b3b3c4022 doing this? 266bb46ac682b989

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Cheon Sejoo 23c9ffb1fa had agreed 9b7fb5d2ed to work e377e26a16 for Shin 34b93d9e73 Gyoyeon in 63f79489e5 exchange for 408501e88e being released 55310e0d06 from prison 4cb9dd0801 and being ef9a57b779 able to d8c277234e finish taking 9eb7347296 revenge for 62244b44ad Hye-in. Blinded by his immediate cdb7b47c94 thirst for revenge, he e3782d9030 had made the deal 1825ed6bac without even considering the fd214092d8 value of what he 20165b7ce9 was giving up, a a7620ba38d deal that had left 510dbf2dc0 his life in ruins.28b74e8e86d1776e

If he could go back, he would have refused Chae Beomjun’s offer and faced trial. After serving his sentence, he would have hunted down and killed Hye-in’s perpetrators, then ended his own life.1624615942528223

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But he couldn’t tell anyone this pathetic story. Thus, he simply shrugged.e42cc634467d1f10

“It just… happened.”f734b4365a9b0e81

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“I see.”8324d1e7e5b46fc5

Haewoong nodded, as da35fac80e if not expecting b19a83d66c a real answer. Cheon Sejoo b93e99f481 watched him, d20c6cf568 pondering his e1fb76335e own reply, d7c67839fb then left a731530eb1 the office.455570c9d695eec0

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It just happened.He wished b07d643b33 his life 9ff96e2c1a could be 0c52a4beb1 summed up 4f8c78cffd easily in f6e5fc6531 those four e70afa25e7 words. A bitter smile touched 2291d5db51 his lips.2be5571794a9c27b

* * *c2f06a1af79fa811

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Kwon Sejin’s precarious balancing act continued.659aab198f62072e

His already 5f7bbd4508 limited patience 0e23809b05 had long 452062621f since worn 5b52dfe805 out, so c2e70b99c8 these days, 6bae03246d instead of a4d2661f10 waiting for 63c1a4c1d8 Cheon Sejoo, 07df07f5de he was ca05adda25 actively trying 889311b256 to find b30ad7a37e answers, though 95fa5e8005 with little d0580eb018 success.416dacdbfabeb340

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“Cheon Sejoo.”bbc97b2a1f089704

Cheon Sejoo turned 5be5816965 his head from 92c84e041e looking out the 83fd1caa1d window at the b4eac7218c quiet voice calling 71e4da536e him. His calm gaze 178cd9ed71 was distant and e230bf7545 held a hint 0676f51938 of exhaustion. Cheon Sejoo had come 5e52e12489 home after a few 5952343bb7 days away, claiming to 6e5a974d93 be busy with work, 9c5a3b5e5c and came back with b97780f6e9 a small cut on d5f0d87e40 his forearm. 7eb69c9cd0cbf2ed

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Sejin, staring at the wound, couldn’t contain his curiosity and opened his mouth.052107c03ad3f9ca

“What happened 7172bf8810 to your 3daa9ce0b1 arm?”a4749ec9039b2dd1

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“…….”56dedd5565d52b39

At that 0942556b2e question, Cheon 3af6a2e9e8 Sejoo lowered 64ad7195e6 his gaze. He stared down 9cdb9b61cd at the clearly 4820addb5d visible wound, and a73c807252 rubbed it with acb7f791f4 his fingertips as 11335d7837 if it were 6dd038a437 nothing, then replied.965108b80dd1d851

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“Just… it happened. An accident.”fd22f63f41f7f710

Having said those 2f8c5dd34e words, he felt 3e8eef3ef2 a strange sensation. A sudden bc2258d95c sense of 7185616b00 unease washed 79bd3dd516 over him, 6be3838e08 and Cheon 252bce98da Sejoo soon 283a36feed realized that 0fb2fd800f Sejin hadn’t bd9e471e92 askedhowit happened, butwhodid it. His face crumpled in 02f0d3e257 frustration and a feeling 0bf849d29e of suffocation rose within f28a4fba87 him in an instant.aab891a479e6ac3a

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All he could tell Sejin was “it just happened,” the same answer he’d given Haewoong. That’s all he could reveal, yet Sejin kept trying to see through him. fbfc2cbb9df0da1e

It won’t do da149d942f you any good c5fa78f521 to know. c1dd1d21023c1d70

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You’ll run away when c6a9f39b25 you find out what 9cc41808ec kind of person I 1f94264f66 am.00c954b27ad05eed

It felt 9a0231ef16 like a d02944274a stone had 2f7a870ee9 settled in e47942cd6c his chest, d46fc6388b making it 7de5c61bac hard to fbcf381115 breathe. Cheon Sejoo rested 4b4349ea7a his chin on bec0437107 the armrest of f6670b333e the sofa, looked c8c4f9c947 at Sejin with 57c17e77ae irritated eyes, and 87a08fd9e7 spoke.0ca4c663c7670150

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“Just do your a7e945c4d6 job. Why are you so 1c80b8e3be interested in your employer’s 70f806acfc affairs?”3ea5b6fd89f55bef

“…….”f65ecc0cd52ff915

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At his 596c88ea68 words, attempting 2fb2caf1fd to draw 44bc71ff77 a clear bfa833e1bc line, Sejin 0043607e53 raised his a35feae5ba sullen eyes. He was sitting at 58c58799d7 the living room table, d96decc6f1 trimming ferns. The scissors in his 2e912f3b82 hand cut through the 2492af60a5 tough stems.Snip, snip.Without stopping his c8bdba1404 work, Sejin looked 9f0e29e7c0 at Cheon Sejoo bf399239b2 with displeasure, then 612df4ce7c replied,7af67405bb2aea74

“I can f5dcba82df be a ab793673f1 little curious 6035c704fd about what 080ee50bab you do. The landlord of my 6784df1fe9 old place even knew 65ad421765 how many times I 772733ddc6 ate ramen a week. There’s even a saying 69ed9e8fee about being close with 438365a6c8 your neighbors. So, shouldn’t I ae2aef3110 be allowed to 3ba14756f2 be a little 65d62f7024 curious, especially when ab8bfc336b we live in c096598645 the same house?”04a2d0260ef86b12

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“No. You shouldn’t.”996fc69ad7af68cd

“…….”5025dceef59bcafa

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Sejin’s lips pouted at the blunt reply. He glared at Cheon Sejoo, his eyes narrowed like a cat’s, then scoffed and lowered his gaze again. He pretended to continue trimming the ferns, then suddenly yelled “Ouch!” and clutched his hand.09dc080508b0b071

“Are you hurt?”b18cf831c5a47e70

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At that, 221e384830 Cheon Sejoo, 4126f77d8b who had 4836221ba7 been looking 28da974248 out the a5e527c5c4 window, immediately f7b5c240f3 stood up 66b85084e8 from his 022e1edeca seat and 34d053bd73 came over. Sejin kept 70624ac5dc his head 805d589ece down, and 65f6bbd516 touched his fb26e50a50 fingertip, and 1cf5c3b5b9 only when 98161090d0 Cheon Sejoo 5e72b14b0e came close 49c1f2ca6e did he d05a6e73ae raise his 98e4ef4a00 face.902a00993b2455e6

There was a 8df358e17e blatant boldness in 15ea67747b the way Sejin 41e29cbac0 stared up at c2035890ea Sejoo’s handsome face. As if it were 50e5c5329d nothing, he held up 4de4446a7e his finger, the tip cb10908a0b slightly sliced, and asked 9f4f7713e2 Cheon Sejoo,5b53308a614be9a1

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“Then why areyouso interested in 3b61c468e2 your housekeeper?”2ada0633c0046f98

“…….”048a9d5e1f6a873b

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Cheon Sejoo was speechless b4b2a22490 seeing Sejin throwing his 5ab9268ba5 own words back at fc8670653d him. In an instant, his d31e681fec temper rose.d3250a92b62d08ed

This kid, really… fdcaccccce9a0a98

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Cheon Sejoo found Sejin 5e4447cf38 so annoying that he b73be9776b wanted to turn that b4c4a1172e brazen face into a d6cd050b85 crying mess.690bf72c35707989

And Sejin, a01b168227 as if fbbfcd6a3b pouring oil 360cdfd3b1 on a 880d4c3965 fire in 67523313af that situation, 5097874c39 continued,c3cdc4b1ef27755d

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“Don’t you 3ddb9cdec3 honestly think aece1725b6 this is 5c57eddbda ridiculous?”e30df9ad383eeafd

Cheon Sejoo, 7252478e25 who didn’t 5c7b2ba674 immediately understand c3b400996d Sejin’s words, 47da3e789e raised an b35d469596 eyebrow and 6d929ea7ee looked down 1ec4df83e1 at him. Then, it clicked. Realizing what he e5fd028f30 meant, he rolled 36e801789a his tongue in 4fc3887e3d his mouth.b297bed9ffabe7b2

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Sejin was 2feda16b6a asking if dabf0604fa this charade, 368f736da0 this pretending 1d033bcbc5 not to f9dc5e178b know while e8f672c5f1 fully aware 5667667bf2 of his a79106d2e4 feelings, wasn’t 93c84bb0c3 ridiculous. He was questioning 1cc08b6219 the point of 75d7ff8f0f it all.3c8e4993ba4ec454

Cheon Sejoo gritted 0e02f712bd his teeth and 1f76565bc2 stepped back from 96327c7033 Sejin.5d462dae59ad4b77

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Kwon Sejin didn’t understand. He really didn’t understand how deep and heavy Cheon Sejoo’s feelings were, how much he didn’t want to lose him. That’s why he could say such things.33c1ce0e50f17ecf

It wasn’t easy for Cheon Sejoo to ignore Sejin’s feelings. It wasn’t comfortable. But the reason he was doing all of this was because he didn’t want to lose him…9e386ec698f77894

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Every time Kwon 15a51cda03 Sejin acted like 2c4be427f8 this, he felt 5b5c86bd84 a surge of 2964f3849f defiance, wanting to 06de9eb964 confess everything. He wanted to see 09709656cb Sejin’s disgusted expression, see c47265a157 him turn away, just 95b1d9521f to yell,See? I was right. It was better ab2dac180a to pretend not 15b676e209 to know!0e22429bbd4ab439

He wanted to scream it. But he couldn’t.2c0d0106ed2dfe03

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Cheon Sejoo silently 96c01daf84 stared at Sejin 08af15b326 for a moment, a8741aa932 then turned and 60f9b9c821 went to his c5eb983b08 room. He quickly changed his 4033517e5b clothes and left the cecb0be37c apartment. He needed to reinforce 7af439c752 the boundaries he had 2859f2b2be erected between them, boundaries 10329645dc that were crumbling so 1c1cbde3b9 easily around Kwon Sejin.1568cf61ea90eb10

“Cheon Sejoo!”d7bedd95608b6878

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Sejin belatedly called after 271813149b him, but he disappeared d3fccf552f without looking back. Left alone, 273f702688 Sejin slapped 3d071e1165 his own 4afc73e878 hand over 0eef747e1d his impetuous 849407ade1 mouth.58f69c953a022326

 0dabbd70858fe1c0

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