PEN Vol 4 Ch. 3

Kim Hyunkyung had been paying off her husband’s debts ever since they got married. What made her desperate was Sejin’s existence. Not wanting to burden Sejin with debt, just as her husband had burdened her, Kim Hyunkyung was striving to settle the debts.

Her refusal of treatment stemmed from the same reason. Considering her own death, she didn’t want to burden Sejin with debt like Kwon Yongbeom had done to her, so she refused even the biopsy. However, Cheon Sejoo couldn’t stand by and watch Kim Hyunkyung die without doing anything.

“Things like this…hospital bills, treatment costs…they mean nothing to me. So get the tests. We won’t know for sure until the biopsy results come out, and there’s a chance it’s not cancer. You can’t just stay in this state of not knowing, can you?”

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She couldn’t simply dismiss his words telling her not to worry about the hospital bills. All of Cheon Sejoo’s help felt like another debt to Kim Hyunkyung. If the treatment didn’t work and she died, that debt, like a shackle, would be passed down to Sejin.

But Cheon Sejoo wanted to change her mindset. Deciding that he needed to make his position clear, Cheon Sejoo looked at her and spoke.

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“I don’t expect anything in return for the help I’m giving. I’m not asking anything from you, Kim Hyunkyung, and I certainly have no intention of asking Sejin to pay it back either. So just….”

“Mr. Cheon.”

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A voice that felt like a massive wall, as if she wouldn’t listen to anything he said, stopped his words. He sensed a firmness very much like Sejin’s. As if proving that she was the one who instilled doubt and distrust of the world in Sejin, Kim Hyunkyung didn’t readily accept an act of kindness without strings attached.

“Why are you so insistent on helping us?”

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At her sharp, barbed question, unlike her usual tone, Cheon Sejoo closed his mouth. Kim Hyunkyung was indeed more seasoned than Sejin. Unlike Sejin, who could be easily handled with a little carrot and a little stick, Kim Hyunkyung, an adult older and even wiser than Cheon Sejoo, wasn’t someone who could be persuaded by a few kind words and gestures.

Knowing the world wasn’t a bed of roses, Kim Hyunkyung wouldn’t accept any help before understanding Cheon Sejoo’s intentions.

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That was Kim Hyunkyung’s last shred of pride. Just as Sejin wouldn’t ask Cheon Sejoo for help even if it meant sleeping on the streets, Kim Hyunkyung wouldn’t easily accept help from others, even if it meant facing death.

“Why do you keep doing this? You know that this has already gone far beyond the scope of a simple favor, Mr. Cheon. Frankly, if it were for me, I would understand. But it’s not, is it? That’s why I can’t understand. Why are you going to such lengths?”

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Cheon Sejoo felt her words implied a willingness to accept help if she could only understand his intentions. Then what should he say to convince her? Simply saying that he cared for Kwon Sejin wouldn’t be enough.

He had to explain to Kim Hyunkyung why he cared for Sejin, and that reason stemmed from emotions rooted in the past. Cheon Sejoo realized he had to finally reveal the story he had hidden deep within his heart. He had to speak of Hye-in’s name.

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“……”

His throat was parched. He swallowed hard, clenched and unclenched his fists, and wet his lips. But the hesitation didn’t last long. As soon as he remembered yesterday, when Kwon Sejin had cried in his arms, his cheeks soaked with tears, Cheon Sejoo steeled his resolve. He could do this much for Sejin. He could gladly explain the past.

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It had been almost five years since he had last mentioned Hye-in’s name. Since Seok Yoonhyung, no one had heard him speak of her. So even though he wanted to reveal the truth, it wasn’t easy to start.

“I had a younger sister… Cheon Hye-in.”

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But once he managed to utter her name, the words flowed naturally, as if he had been waiting to tell someone. Feeling the lock on his heart loosening, Cheon Sejoo began his story.

“She was my only family, and I thought we would be together forever.”

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From the top of her head to the tips of her toes, Cheon Sejoo had loved everything about Hye-in. His only sibling, his only family – beyond that, Hye-in was the direction of his life, the driving force behind his existence.

“Hye-in… died five years ago. She committed suicide after being bullied by her classmates. While I was working, she was left alone at home and neglected, and she couldn’t bear the constant verbal abuse from the perpetrators. Believing herself to be a burden to me, she jumped from the roof.”

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“……”

A look of pity flashed across Kim Hyunkyung’s face as she listened. She clasped her hands tightly together and gazed at Cheon Sejoo with compassionate eyes. Cheon Sejoo calmly explained to her what had happened last winter.

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“You probably didn’t know, but there were kids bullying Sejin at school. It’s all resolved now, so you don’t have to worry about it. And Sejin, being as strong as you, is fine now, so you don’t have to worry.”

“Oh….”

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She sighed and her shoulders slumped at his added words, meant to prevent her from worrying. Recalling the past, Cheon Sejoo continued.

“While I was with Sejin, I acted as his guardian. From the time I got a call from his homeroom teacher, when she was eighteen, in the middle of winter.”

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He stared steadily at Kim Hyunkyung. The woman before him, with her gaunt face, bore no resemblance to the person he first met. In Kim Hyunkyung’s emaciated form, Cheon Sejoo saw a reflection of his past self.

After Hye-in’s death, Cheon Sejoo hadn’t been able to eat properly for a while. He vaguely remembered losing nearly 10kg and being told he looked like a corpse.

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At the same time, Cheon Sejoo thought of Sejin as he looked at Kim Hyunkyung. He saw both the image of the desperate child who had pleaded with him for help after a week of no contact with his mother, and the image of Kim Hyunkyung bowing her head to him, entrusting Sejin to his care.

“I first met Sejin when he was eighteen. He looked exhausted and worn out.”

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Sejin, crouched in the hallway, had appeared much smaller than he actually was. Exhausted and worn out…. Cheon Sejoo had mistaken Sejin, curled up as tightly as he could, as a child of only fourteen.

“Hye-in was also eighteen when she died. She waited for me for hours, huddled in the dark hallway of our apartment, before she left this world. And the day I first saw Sejin… Sejin was huddled in the exact same way.”

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“……”

Looking at Kim Hyunkyung, speechless and still, Cheon Sejoo closed his eyes and then opened them again. He had once thought that if the day came when he spoke about Hye-in to someone, it would be an incredibly difficult day.

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This was because Hye-in remained a deep wound and regret in his heart. However, it wasn’t as emotionally painful as he had anticipated. Rather, after speaking of her, his mind felt strangely calm. In a soft voice, Cheon Sejoo spoke to Kim Hyunkyung.

“Now you understand why I keep trying to help you and Sejin. Whenever I see Sejin… I think of her. That’s why I can’t stand to see Sejin struggling. No matter how much you object, I will proceed with the treatment. So please, just focus on Sejin and concentrate on getting better. That’s what I really want.”

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Cheon Sejoo knew very well how precious Kim Hyunkyung was to Kwon Sejin. And Sejin, in turn, was precious to him.

“At first, I just wanted to help out of simple kindness. But now… it’s not.”

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“Mr. Cheon….”

Kim Hyunkyung had to live. That was the only way Sejin could be happy and free from pain when he left his side. That was all Cheon Sejoo wanted.

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“Get treatment. You’ll get better. You definitely will.”

Just as he had resolved when he took Sejin in, this ending was absolutely necessary for him to end his long, arduous journey of grief.

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* * *

Kim Hyunkyung, finally persuaded by Cheon Sejoo, underwent a series of medical tests. The results, as expected, were cancerous. It was stage 3 pancreatic cancer, thankfully, not yet spread to surrounding organs.

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While Cheon Sejoo had anticipated this outcome since seeing the MRI, Kwon Sejin appeared deeply shocked. Hearing from a doctor that a large tumor might be cancerous and receiving confirmation that it is cancer are entirely different matters. It was devastating for him to face the reality of what he had desperately tried to deny.

Ultimately, it was Cheon Sejoo who took care of the distraught Sejin and transferred Kim Hyunkyung to the cancer treatment center. While Sejin remained in in a state of shock, Sejoo handled all the arrangements.

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The Korea University Hospital Cancer Center boasted a team of the country’s most renowned specialists. They were actively involved in targeted therapy research for pancreatic cancer, and the center held the highest 5-year survival rate for pancreatic cancer patients in the nation. It was there that Hyunkyung began her chemotherapy.

However, contrary to the optimistic outlook that treatment would make things better, chemotherapy proved to be an agonizing ordeal not just for the patient but also for her family. Witnessing someone suffering from extreme pain and side effects due to various medications…it was not something one could endure with a clear mind.

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“Go home!”

Cheon Sejoo, visiting the hospital after a few days spent handling other matters, hesitated at the door upon hearing Hyunkyung’s raised voice from inside the room. She was yelling at Sejin, telling him to leave her side and go home.

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“…”

“Go, Kwon Sejin! Can’t you hear me?!”

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Sejin’s silence suggested he was feigning ignorance of her outburst. It was so typical of Kwon Sejin’s response. Sejoo sighed inwardly as he placed his hand on the doorknob.

The summer break had long since ended. Even though it had been over a week since school started, Sejin hadn’t attended a single class. Of course, Sejin’s position wasn’t entirely incomprehensible. 

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Cheon Sejoo understood Sejin’s reluctance to leave his mother alone in this situation. He thought he wouldn’t have gone to school either if he were in Sejin’s shoes. However, he also empathized deeply with Kim Hyunkyung.

She must be incredibly tormented that her illness was causing her son, who had recently found joy in his studies, to abandon school to care for her. As someone who always anticipated the worst, she would have received a clear picture from the doctors about the survival rates for pancreatic cancer. 

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Unable to avoid contemplating death, Hyunkyung couldn’t bear to see Sejin, with his bright future ahead, throw his life away because of her. Perhaps she might even regret entering the treatment center at this point.

In this situation, Cheon Sejoo sided with Kim Hyunkyung. He recognized her concern for Sejin’s future, but more importantly, he worried about Sejin pouring all his time, affection, and life into caring for his mother. He felt that if Kim Hyunkyung were to leave this world, Sejin wouldn’t be able to handle the emptiness he would feel from the sudden void.

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Sejin needed a routine beyond caring for his mother. An ordinary life that he could maintain regardless of what happened to her…