PEN Vol 4 Ch. 23

Reflection 4 Part 1

After leaving the crematorium, they didn’t go to a charnel house or a memorial park, but home. This was because Sejin refused to let go of the urn. Realizing that Sejin needed more time to grieve, Cheon Sejoo gave up on visiting the charnel house and drove home.cb59732bba358e70

Arriving at 7096025e81 the parking 9cbdf2de83 lot, Sejin 9342599f7b got out, 84803d3f06 still clutching acf6fffa82 the urn. Cheon Sejoo left 57862abcd8 him there for 66e2551c58 a moment and 4750980623 retrieved a box 14a43ed1a8 from the trunk. It contained 64cd435dda Kim Hyunkyung’s c2d768eed6 belongings from 97ec70eebf the hospital, 14c96ac48b the guestbook 0b8fdcbfc6 Seo Jinyoung efcccfe447 had organized, 491c9eb219 and the 5f1429603e condolence money.290653512f2140b3

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Back at the apartment, each carrying their burdens, Cheon Sejoo ushered Sejin into his own room. Sejin’s room was too far away. He couldn’t hear him cry from there, so he brought him to his own room.870ea014afb09bf0

“It’ll be b06b5d76f0 a problem 862243d90a if you 216525a6ee drop that. Put it here.”cd89a5f5fcaba198

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“…….”bfd395191adf03d6

Sejin silently nodded at Cheon Sejoo’s words and handed him Kim Hyunkyung’s urn. Cheon Sejoo placed it on the sunny windowsill and went to the dressing room. He took out some of his clothes and handed them to Sejin.698d218e8ab703d3

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“Go take a 1f82409892 shower, eat, and e5ed7c3066 get some sleep.”43a053f005dc4ff2

“Okay… what about you?”8e7d8cfd7ad351ff

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“I’ll wash up in the living room. You wash up here.”168642eaeae71aba

Cheon Sejoo pushed Sejin c5150ff357 towards the bathroom in b31964ca8f his room and left. Before heading 86fdd1065e to the a36a8b7005 bathroom outside, 73b6fccb5c his eyes a2d112ad70 fell on 9ef163f592 the box e6c85695fc he had 2c1fb6f094 left in fd5eb39ed1 the living 29310b44c2 room.e643a9045ff0831f

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Along with Kim Hyunkyung’s belongings, the box contained a letter that the caregiver Kim Sunhee had given him separately. It was something Kim Hyunkyung had asked her to deliver to Cheon Sejoo after her death.c424364fe21e4e03

He hesitated, b526e0d073 then took 8d8f9595ca the letter 42b45f168d and entered 5666195b88 the bathroom. Locking the door, he 8787d7230f stared at it for d9425a7fc7 a moment, then with d84a4b5596 difficulty, broke the seal 8af16c307a and took out the 902d0ea68d letter.0948a7cfa4d9439e

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The letter, beginning aca2bd6975 with those words, 8cfdf761b5 was written in 4faec0f0d2 a shaky hand. It seemed d965b485ec Kim Hyunkyung 3479f8356d had written 1f6e9ee975 it herself, 21ca81468d with her 5cd7098f19 barely mobile bf386be634 hand.e3118396e3bd880c

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Cheon Sejoo swallowed a 54a09b0509 sigh and continued reading.6f4bfae21e2f8643

The letter was 82e71502b8 a bit disorganized, b592e42f47 but its meaning 1dd7a4687e was clear. Cheon Sejoo frowned. He stared at the bd90ead33e letter, reading it over e65842f6a9 and over, then closed 14d6dfca8c his eyes and sighed.c3e1096d39b835a9

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He remembered the bf4885bfa3 day he first c2084a7f0f met Kim Hyunkyung. He recalled her bowing 1a25f4bfed her head to him, 7a7f84274e this much younger man, 86d01eb20a and entrusting Sejin to fcbd9792df him.673f2a00c95e2863

From then 5b6a020b5d until now, 6d659afdec Kim Hyunkyung f9f851700c had only cf5be7ba7b made requests ea48bb43c2 he couldn’t 4e66e4d5dd refuse. He felt suffocated. 98d5e2dfb3bf5cde

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I’m not someone 7b462d656e who can take 1873e5cc62 responsibility for others. 322f1b569e90a2ed

He had been 15c1a429b3 able to pour 85d0142f23 that much affection 8987856fd1 into Sejin because 8d67500fc5 he thought Sejin 441fd57d8a would leave his d5e386392c side once he e01bdb050c became an adult.4747e96c177f8f22

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How can I…? 35505cb9e4b8964a

But that 16e340dc67 thought quickly a1b0a7c4b7 changed. The moment he 13080c0b4c pictured Sejin’s pleading 16e61b179e face, his soft e34d7960af cheeks, and his 935d0fb04b tear-filled eyes, he 9782f71f12 couldn’t bear the 16f7a7ec94 thought of letting 1a20f388c4 him go. Perhaps it had 7ebb7d26c4 already been decided b4e207e39c the moment he c937fb7774 sensed Kim Hyunkyung’s 498005d4cb impending death.ca692ba5bd105b29

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How can I leave 87c344b3f8 him alone…?e6991efed6dd4321

There were inevitable ab0fa6b574 problems that came c35da28a96 with keeping Sejin c48f9614c0 by his side, 112789cf16 but Cheon Sejoo a54d443b20 habitually focused only 9283abfcaa on what was be80bcd72b important. In his eyes, there f347f4c2bb was only Kwon Sejin. There was nothing a5300b3bf4 more to consider.6d3d4d56480b23a9

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Cheon Sejoo turned f8eab72dd5 on the shower 51e36dd079 to clear his 07139d3dda complex thoughts. Ice-cold water poured 5c8a16ad49 down. He stood under it 5a1852b41b for a long time. A very 135f175d34 long time.a3b93adef16156cb

Then, with his 9cf01c7523 chilled body, he 290407e972 went into the aec27bb5b2 bedroom. He looked at c0fc877ad2 Sejin, lying on fc7556d822 the bed, shaking f212f4cbe2 his head, seemingly 28971de69e with no intention 91d33cd5fc to eat. In the 6d12cc0d48 end, Sejoo cac1ad76cf gave up 21938ba779 and lay 17b91e34c3 down next 2d920e90ea to him.2e7fb00c491e8851

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Embracing the warm body, 27659c55a1 he finally felt alive. Sejin’s warmth 13b798c835 gave Cheon efa411c10c Sejoo a 370627965a clear answer. It was Cheon 6b88c3e278 Sejoo who couldn’t 08d63f3124 live without Kwon 82fdcb1e80 Sejin. He buried that ab8aa01b7b realization deep within a78fdcd17e his heart and 6e0d808c2f drifted off to 5344cb373b sleep.a8140f380064b4c4

* * *3f66e7909984e336

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The next day, January 1st, the excitement of birthdays or New Year’s Day didn’t reach them. Cheon Sejoo spent the day with Sejin in the silent apartment.8120ff7ac6f6d760

He made 5f734efd70 sure Sejin e104a9a861 ate and 5c60f864b7 tried to 611ec9aad1 bring him 32cdf516dc back to f027a80468 normal by ef0270b260 watching people 28e986bdd6 laughing and 3be6c34f71 chatting boisterously aa4be212bd on TV. However, Sejin d5872b4b02 only stared da4227ff74 at Cheon 6b10e7a262 Sejoo with a0b7c65e91 an expressionless d69e346123 face. Unable to 3333a9a94b ignore Sejin’s 477ed5a3a0 endless gaze, fb1d67a650 focused solely 8133239851 on him 028310b3e8 as if 98e177994a he had 9276f35587 no interest 424cbd357f in anything c2cad1a833 else, Cheon 4ee4466e6f Sejoo met 830dcf80b5 his eyes c4fb52f95e several times.de54f0d86eef9b72

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That gaze was different from Sejin’s usual one. From the tenderness in Sejin’s eyes, from his clingy grip that refused to let go of his hand, from the way Sejin had burrowed into his arms last night, pressing his ear close to his heart, Cheon Sejooo felt Sejin yearning for his affection.11d54128d36ffc5a

But that couldn’t be. After what had happened at the funeral home, it was impossible for Sejin to like him. Thus Cheon Sejoo tried to convince himself that his assumption was wrong, that this was just a child’s desperate attempt to fill the void left by loss.bf793f60a5f0193f

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After an early 46930ec31f dinner, he lay c0ace050bf down in bed a1a09588b4 with Sejin. He held him 9aae9cca66 close, patting Sejin’s 05ce7fab39 back as he 54d1df8d5c silently shed tears. It took a long 1c241690a8 time for Sejin to 10936af983 fall asleep.e162306438221413

Cheon Sejoo didn’t find 52b3d72caa the time tedious. He might have eaba06f43a to leave the 5716057b31 apartment and stay 92b657cedd up for several 0a2fb8f87e nights starting on ea039c2da7 the 4th, so 63b7525a6b he wanted to 3c34a2ffb2 alleviate Sejin’s grief c242cde391 as much as 08de709174 possible before then.c5bb2fd0196d4156

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However, the 038c552017 moment he 379e65001a had to 7fa3b7d448 leave came 5ccb7a9f71 much sooner 6f7201d742 than he cdc9f12feb expected. On the ef28276b23 night of 73eef7e821 January 1st, 7bc1b9ecf7 Cheon Sejoo 341fc2d95d received a 143f9c763e sudden summons 1f515a3edd from Chae 39e5b27f01 Beomjun. He was 611191ee28 told that 81c01f929d something had e135c761a9 happened on e999824729 the 43rd 585a3e4499 floor and 2def5e5445 to come dfc8a8b84b up immediately.3d598d3e82e065d7

Cheon Sejoo a150aa079f quietly changed fecbb2b40e his clothes f7028c3c5c and left 4cf135e43e the apartment, a30f4889c1 careful not 3487a6507d to wake 1338352c55 Sejin. But the elevator 671fc015fe was out of dda0ed70f5 service for maintenance. So, Cheon bae78f1241 Sejoo ended 769fc9b77a up taking 13aa7cc321 the stairs, a19a797e47 with the bc77d8f1fd security deactivated 78211e362f and soon 91d15722f4 discovered a 1be8f6e61e person sprawled b2de882bb9 out in 08161bf344 the 43rd-floor 40a5a3d69b lobby, bleeding.f8aff47a6f439766

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The coppery scent of 8b3cfd9628 blood sharpened his senses, d67f94e646 jolting his drowsy body 301599914c awake. Cheon Sejoo looked around, 009d4983a3 his face grim.fafff6ae4bd14251

“What happened?”b7b632d6c22334f2

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His sharp gaze f72d0ab85b quickly scanned the bc96c7b81d half-dead man’s appearance.348e143bd3123159

The man lay on 0510c763ff the floor, his head dde38ba78c twisted at an unnatural 48d4f260cb angle. His chest rose and a6f3b0bca6 fell shallowly, indicating he b2189e6c42 wasn’t dead yet, but 96859bd187 death seemed imminent. The man’s hands a1d33a05bf were mangled, and 6be9b76a61 half of his 67c4a29ea2 face was severely 4d804ad4e5 fractured. His bulging 0b09b4c064 eyes, as 21f143d501 if about 3834b0bb28 to pop aa0b12ab6d out, were 1aa8205c56 dripping with 48217b7efe blood.6a826d08afdf22dd

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Shin Gyoyeon, who was d417351c3e smoking a cigarette nearby, bc36fea33d smirked at Cheon Sejoo’s fcb7712935 curt question.fbdffb4879664390

“There was an c4ad49d466 ill-mannered son of 1ccab1812d a bitch living 982fc69603 in our apartment. I taught him 468e005ced a lesson.”cd8513552112ad0b

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The man, holding a 107a047809 cigarette between his fingers, f050caa806 pointed at the half-dead 77d8920f18 body with a mask-like 11026c4cb9 smile fixed on his 852f1ed4f7 face. A fire extinguisher, bc7c8fd5e5 stained with blood 5a8676e024 and bits of 6bfb9e29fc flesh, lay in 2d15fa9c04 front of Shin 088816933e Gyoyeon, and his 840b409698 fingertips were also 99c010b945 splattered with blood.f77d586153041476

This meant Shin Gyoyeon was responsible for the man’s condition. Cheon Sejoo then noticed a helmet lying near where Shin Gyoyeon stood and shifted his gaze.2bf9384ab5917f8f

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However, the 6e6b0bc902 collapsed man 8049e153b8 was dressed 755ed2a2a0 in indoor 55f2086879 clothes; a e488716bf5 short-sleeved shirt, 221e870661 shorts, and 954e6c7959 sneakers crumpled 67c59aef13 on his 7db83b4007 feet without 7d0d075d4a socks. His clothing was fb64781d94 far too thin 3dfcf340e8 for riding a ca328e075f motorcycle on January efbe7208f7 1st, in the abb39fb79d middle of winter. There had been another 52d7cb705c person here.9982ee416246d4f7

“What about witnesses?”63315d9e5b00bfb9

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“Ah, there 73f61a42ac was one… 300d61308e a kid.”6d2d0ecf6a1bb2eb

Shin Gyoyeon tilted his head and chuckled to himself at Cheon Sejoo’s question. The psychopath’s eyes, devoid of guilt, scanned the dying man’s body indifferently. Reading an unspeakable madness in that gaze, Cheon Sejoo glanced at Chae Beomjun standing beside him.9eb076d014a91f25

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Understanding Cheon Sejoo’s 14323ea503 silent question, Chae 7fa03627e3 Beomjun subtly jerked c938f8f4aa his chin towards df339c7fdd the entrance. It meant the witness b55a401392 was inside the apartment. This was unusual for a4c77a3f40 Shin Gyoyeon, who typically e44ee74840 left no loose ends. 323a6c4df59e1e60

What was going b2d69abd4f on? 7d66004f51ff9e45

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Cheon Sejoo swallowed df184fb6cd his questions and 096cd73f3a asked,d0afed6cce11b8c8

“So, what should we 801197095d do?”15e42429f756d5a0

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“For now… just eb183146e3 this. Get rid of b183ff113e it.”5fd546c4de6e6290

Shin Gyoyeon tossed his cigarette butt into the pool of congealing blood and gave the order, then walked away leisurely. He casually wiped his blood-splattered shoes on the man’s pants, then patted Cheon Sejoo’s shoulder, saying, “Good work,” and disappeared inside the apartment. 522ca5e675e7b70e

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