PEN Vol 4 Ch. 20

After the meal, there was nothing to do. Since it was still before people would start arriving after being contacted, Sejin sat huddled in the head mourner’s seat, looking forlorn. He seemed lost in thought, his expression focused. Cheon Sejoo, who had been silently watching over him, stood up after receiving a text from Kim Donggil saying he had arrived.

“I’ll be back in a moment.”

“Where are you going?”

Sejin furrowed his brows and grabbed his wrist. Cheon Sejoo removed Sejin’s hand, saying he was going to get his mother’s phone. He gently stroked Sejin’s hair to tidy it up and left.

As soon as he left the funeral hall, he ran into Kim Donggil. He seemed to have come inside looking for him from the entrance, as Kim Donggil, dressed in a black suit, was rubbing his shiny bald head and looking around.

“Oh, boss.”

Kim Donggil, upon seeing him, approached with a wide smile. 

Cheon Sejoo raised an eyebrow, glanced towards Sejin, and quickly moved. He grabbed the back of Kim Donggil’s neck to prevent him from seeing Sejin and pushed him towards the exit. 

Kim Donggil grumbled as if he felt wronged.

“I guess Ms. Kim Hyunkyung passed away. Ah, why are you doing this, boss? It looks like there aren’t any guests, so at least I could… bow to her once or something…”

“Cut the crap and come out.”

Cheon Sejoo roughly dragged Kim Donggil out of the funeral home. Kim Donggil grumbled about his carefully chosen suit getting wrinkled but quickly quieted under Cheon Sejoo’s icy stare, pulling out a worn-out cell phone and charger from his pocket.

“Here it is. I charged it a bit in the car on the way here, but the battery isn’t full yet.”

“Give it to me. Now go.”

“Ah, you’ll be lonely without any guests.”

“Get lost.”

Cheon Sejoo ruthlessly shooed Kim Donggil away. Leaving Kim Donggil pouting behind him, he took the phone, which belonged to the deceased Kim Hyunkyung, and turned it on. The wallpaper was a selfie of her and Sejin, faces pressed together.

Judging by how young Sejin looked, it must have been taken years ago, much younger than when Cheon Sejoo first met him. Sejin was frowning with a disgruntled expression. Cheon Sejoo gently brushed his fingertip across Sejin’s characteristically sullen face and went back inside.

“Sejin.”

Returning to the funeral hall and calling his name, Sejin, who had been leaning against the wall staring blankly into space, turned his head. Cheon Sejoo sat beside him and handed him Kim Hyunkyung’s phone.

“Do you know the names of your mother’s friends, relatives, or acquaintances? Find them in her contacts and send them a message. Just write the location and the time of the funeral procession.”

“…What’s a funeral procession?”

Sejin’s clear eyes looked at Cheon Sejoo. 

Funeral procession. 

Depending on Sejin’s decision, Kim Hyunkyung’s body would have to be moved to a cemetery or crematorium in two days.

But why was it so… Looking into Sejin’s eyes, he couldn’t bring himself to explain what a funeral procession was. He closed his mouth silently and then took the phone back from Sejin’s hand.

“If you don’t know, I’ll write the message. You just pick the numbers from the contacts.”

“Okay…”

Cheon Sejoo navigated Kim Hyunkyung’s old phone and composed the message. Having done it once before, it wasn’t difficult.

His memories of the previous funeral were jumbled, but some things remained. The moment he sent out the news of his sister’s death was a memory he would never forget.

In fact, funerals weren’t usually held for deaths by suicide, but there was a reason why Cheon Sejoo had held one for Hye-in. At first, he hadn’t known it was suicide. It was only during the funeral when it was suggested that her death was a jump and not a fall, that Cheon Sejoo realized there was something more to her death than he knew.

He pushed aside the resurfacing memories and returned the phone to Sejin after finishing the message. Sejin looked at the message he had written and seemed to understand the meaning of the funeral procession. He was silent for a moment, then, with his lips pressed tightly together, he started scrolling through the contacts.

Unlike Sejin, who had no friends to call, Kim Hyunkyung knew a lot of people. As Sejin sent messages to the hundred or so people in her contacts, calls and messages began to arrive.

Some called and wailed in grief, while others asked for bank account details for sending condolence money. Cheon Sejoo, on behalf of the bewildered Sejin, gave them Sejin’s bank account number and the room number of the funeral hall.

“Kwon Sejin, think carefully.”

Then, when the phone quieted down a bit, Cheon Sejoo looked directly at Sejin and asked,

“If I stay here, people might come and mistake me for your mother’s boyfriend or new husband. I can’t introduce myself as a relative either. Do you still want me to stay here? We also need someone to receive condolence money. I can do it if you’re okay with it.”

“Stay here.”

Cheon Sejoo didn’t want Kim Hyunkyung to be subjected to unnecessary gossip. But despite the potential for misunderstanding, Sejin was firm. As if such things didn’t matter, Sejin, with a gloomy face, gripped Sejoo’s wrist, insisting he stay by his side.

“I want you to be here with me.”

“…Alright.”

He couldn’t refuse that request. Cheon Sejoo nodded, then pulled Sejin’s shoulders into a comforting embrace and kissed his hair before speaking again.

“Then, if you’re okay with it, I’ll call someone to receive the money. I can’t just leave it to anyone.”

“Okay…”

Seeing Sejin nod, Cheon Sejoo took out his phone.

Sunhyuk would have been the most reliable, but he was probably still reviewing their plans. Instead of interrupting him, Cheon Sejoo called Seo Jinyoung. He chose Jinyoung over Haewoong because Haewoong, with his anger management issues, might cause trouble.

-Yes, Sir?

Seo Jinyoung answered the phone before the ringtone could even finish. Cheon Sejoo stood up, leaving Sejin, and entered the family room of the funeral hall as he spoke.

“Jinyoung, what are you doing?”

-I was… having popcorn with Haewoong at the office… I mean, we were exercising.

With their operation on  January 4th approaching, Jinyoung and Haewoong were constantly training, preparing for any unforeseen circumstances. But it seemed they were snacking and playing around instead of exercising. Cheon Sejoo sighed inwardly and called out to him.

“Seo Jinyoung, stop stuffing your face with popcorn and come here. I have some work for you.”

-It’s exercise, exercise. What kind of work? Is it dangerous?

-No, come to the funeral home and receive condolence money. You have a black suit, right?

At the mention of “funeral home,” Seo Jinyoung sighed. While he didn’t know the details, the disposal team members were aware that Cheon Sejoo was taking care of Sejin and that Sejin’s mother had been hospitalized a few months ago. The quick-witted Seo Jinyoung didn’t ask any further questions and readily agreed.

-Yes, I have one. I’ll be right there. Send me the address. Wait, wait a second. Sir, Haewoong wants to come too. Is it okay if I bring him?”

“No, he can’t. Come alone.”

“Yes, sir.”

After hanging up, Cheon Sejoo returned to the main hall. Time passed, and guests began to arrive.

The first mourner was a long-time friend of Kim Hyunkyung’s. Sejin seemed to know her, calling out, “Auntie.” As soon as he did, the woman immediately collapsed, sobbing uncontrollably, as if unable to believe the situation. Sejin, who had barely calmed down, started crying again.

Cheon Sejoo stood beside him, his arm around Sejin’s shoulders, constantly comforting him. He needed to let all his tears flow. He needed to cry his heart out and let it all go. Even though it wouldn’t be easily forgotten….

Time passed as they received mourners. 

A little over an hour later, Seo Jinyoung arrived in a neat suit. He offered a flower to Kim Hyunkyung’s portrait and hugged Sejin, whom he was meeting for the first time, offering words of comfort. He then took a seat at the entrance of the funeral hall, introducing himself as Kim Hyunkyung’s junior from work, and received the mourners.

Among those who came to pay their respects were Kim Hyunkyung’s former colleagues and friends. Those who had lost contact with her last fall and suddenly received the news of her passing a year later were shocked and felt her life had been unjustly cut short. Sejin cried with them. When someone wailed about why their young sister had to go like this, he nodded along, tears streaming down his face.

As night fell and midnight approached, the staff from Ehwagak arrived. Han Jiwon placed a thick envelope into the condolence box, saying it was from Madam Suseonhwa, along with the other envelopes containing contributions from the staff.

The employees who had worked with Kim Hyunkyung for nearly a year couldn’t hide their shock. They had only heard she was in the hospital due to illness and hadn’t expected her to pass away like this, their faces pale with disbelief.

Among them, the most distraught was a woman who, like Kim Hyunkyung, had come to Ehwagak because of debt. She was the one who had complained to Han Jiwon about the unfairness of Kim Hyunkyung meeting Sejin. Now, she held Sejin’s hand and cried, saying if she had known this would happen she shouldn’t have done that, that she should have encouraged the visits, that it was all her fault, that she was sorry…

After they left, mourners who had traveled from far away began to arrive. By then, Sejin was too exhausted to even shed tears. Every time someone who grieved for Kim Hyunkyung’s death came, the reality hit him harder. 

That his mother was truly gone, and that he was now left alone in this world.

* * *

As dawn broke, the stream of mourners finally stopped. Cheon Sejoo forcibly took Sejin, who refused to rest, inside. He rolled up the jumper Sejin had been wearing into a makeshift pillow and laid him down.

“Sleep. You’ll collapse if you keep this up. I’ll wake you if any guests arrive, so get some rest.”

“…I don’t want to sleep.”

Sejin, covered with Cheon Sejoo’s jacket, looked up at him. Whining like a child in a raspy voice, Sejin grasped Cheon Sejoo’s hand.

It was the hand Cheon Sejoo had consistently held whenever he cried, so he intertwined their fingers without resistance, stroking the back of Sejin’s hand with his thumb. A gentle voice flowed out from him.

“You still have to sleep.”

“If I sleep, what about you?”

“I’ll rest for a bit after I wake you up in the morning. You come first. Close your eyes now.”

“…….”

At Cheon Sejoo’s words, Sejin hesitated, biting his lip, then closed his eyes tightly. His neatly arranged eyelashes fluttered softly every time he breathed and exhaled.

Cheon Sejoo stayed until Sejin’s breathing evened out. However, sleep didn’t seem to come easily, and Sejin opened his eyes again shortly after.

His clear eyes met Cheon Sejoo’s. A certain unclear emotion resided within them. Looking up at Cheon Sejoo’s fatigue-ridden face, Sejin thought how grateful he was for Sejoo’s presence.

What would I have done without you? I can’t even imagine it. 

Muttering inwardly, Sejin pulled Cheon Sejoo’s hand and placed it on his cheek.

“Touch my face. I think I’ll be able to sleep then.”

“Like a dog…?”

Cheon Sejoo chuckled in disbelief, but he didn’t refuse. His rough fingertips gently caressed Sejin’s face.

Feeling the hands brushing past his thin eyebrows, softly caressing his eyelids, and warmly stroking his cheek, Sejin gradually drifted off to sleep. He wished this moment was a dream, yet at the same time, he wished it wasn’t. 

He felt cowardly and guilty for feeling this way, but he couldn’t deny his emotions.