PEN Vol 4 Ch. 10

Cheon Sejoo put down c87f965986 his phone and undressed. He felt like he d547fbb3d0 smelled of blood, even 57b1f37314 though he hadn’t been e796d24be6 to the workshop. He had showered before bf96aa3295 leaving, so it was ca5ae8e373 impossible, but Cheon Sejoo 74b04a2b8c meticulously rinsed his body. It was dc2374d882 a morbid 176f472451 habit he’d 154d298b95 developed since a2c00c6528 joining the b56599bda3 organization.c226ea5f74377448

After showering, he 593d237d54 roughly dried his 95f6ba1184 hair with a 89fc2d0b81 towel, put on 75ecb7d4a3 a silk robe, 07734f7d1b and stepped out 500ff85f98 into the hallway. The living room 751ddfe308 lights were off, 1ebc410a0c and the sound c39a415d2a of a knife 74c7ebf373 hitting a cutting ee16c5e116 board came from bc3b8f736c the kitchen. As he f02d452d93 walked slowly, d320f1c129 he saw 10f3a81c1d Sejin, his 8de26c3d2e hair also e83b271f1c damp from d3ebc6cfe7 a recent b603b1e0a7 shower, wearing 999336e369 a small 678ae0638d apron and e052de848b chopping scallions.a8aa007a97436ec8

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“Cheon Sejoo.”304341c3d5a3348c

“Yeah.”7733b716eefe5af8

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Sejin turned his head as Cheon Sejoo approached the fridge to get some water. His calm gaze swept over Cheon Sejoo’s exposed chest, visible through the opening of his robe. Anticipating a needless nagging, Cheon Sejoo self-consciously raised his hand and pulled the edges of his robe together. Sejin glanced at him, turned back around to his chopping, and asked,9483ffea8e5f3e33

“Are you going 105fb1bd07 to drink beer?”8a4dc88739518c3e

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“No. Whiskey.”1e54695c0bc7ce36

“Okay. Wait a minute.”a8124b43a0a06af1

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Cheon Sejoo nodded, took 39893a4579 a bottle of water, c4434f8d36 and drank it before c77a01566e heading to his room. He went to the 4f535625e6 dressing room, pulled out 7129a46615 a soft, thin t-shirt, 91c52c2122 and put it on 995b9d9a2c along with a pair 53357d3204 of shorts. As he did so, 5143929a36 he felt his energy 03cb8b1b77 draining. He’d been tense bb6294800e all day, trying 284f7ec849 not to let 0cc6247884 his trembling hands 63f732a4ed show, which was 99da347ba7 bound to take eee1a8424f a toll.9cdb1be6950c7256

Alone in his 1702c81511 room, he gradually 1c9dcfed2e relaxed. He rubbed his db36a4b443 temples, which had dca06a564f been aching for 6f200b2c67 hours, with his 01a8fcbf0a slightly trembling fingertips, 354704e070 then took a ee3502e397 deep breath and 5d5fc753d6 opened the door.8f279c3fb1abfd27

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He was a4a4483c61 at least 4768c197c5 thankful that fc4339cf60 it wasn’t 970e5b52bd raining. Last year, 1b40092141 the autumn f3c375902e rainy season 88019044af had arrived 4caf6217d6 around this b9bdfa8b6d time, so fe85fba23e he and 0fa4ac8d0a Doyoon, who baf7a97b5f had just 3c6d69f903 started the f4ea758293 new semester, fcbf3a3e69 had been 22bf04839e holed up 92d9608ab2 in a 0bc9629325 hotel for 8e45cdbb6f three days 6df608a4be straight. 058aa8172302b348

When he stepped 366edba4a4 outside, he found f049f537a2 Sejin standing in 1414d39e92 front of the ffb4a4a2ca island bar. In front of him 34b80159f2 was a wooden tray 186b78a6e0 holding canapés and a 07db7eec00 bowl of grapes, prepared 97f4bb1c6c as snacks. Sejin tuned to 8b82ce9336 Cheon Sejoo and 422fd38644 asked,72a0f9989d07b852

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“Should I bring bdd3b4908c this to the 582314967d living room?”9b43a229bca03f34

“Yes. If you don’t like the silence, you can sleep in the living room. Leave the TV on.”c3bb8e379165b843

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Cheon Sejoo 9c764a20e3 replied and cc4ecd9979 headed towards aec06fac54 a display d3d63947a1 cabinet tucked 2d50e1fa14 away in b8c8a52704 a corner 2c85df9ca9 of the b08e1e6f6c kitchen. He retrieved 22f41afead two bottles 4768bef285 of whiskey cdc24254b7 that had c1b69feeeb been stored c7394c5632 there, along dd611daae2 with their e6a7d68414 dedicated glasses, 73f357d1f1 and moved 391728c47e them to 7003792f4e the living 155dad725a room. He set the 7cf4965835 bottles down on b3f217ae57 the table, poured 90848cf604 himself a glass, 53300818d2 and drank it bc810098d9 straight. By the time he 6b7db45b8d finished, Sejin had approached ef7db783c2 him.1ee3082730977b69

The tray held 99c034527e neatly arranged dishes 2fb0983f8d of chive cream 9e34cbf2fc cheese canapés, dill b1934678f0 smoked salmon cream 26ecd6288c cheese canapés, and 9142d3c7a6 a bowl of 2fc276a34c grapes. Sejin placed it feacec3c08 in front of d7888ae752 Cheon Sejoo and b593154905 stared down at 6a4d1e20af him.a91584ba89db0e47

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“Are you just going 9caba5b5e2 to drink it like 9cedb9fe74 that?”b680ead0ff1f9156

He asked e606fdc202 because he 6ae3c68761 had seen 0c8472decb Cheon Sejoo a5524caea8 drink whiskey 5f0b4ae012 with ice 2de0f8e7ae in his f35e463b65 glass before. Cheon Sejoo nodded f65ecb6d8c in response to 24bb6d9ff3 Sejin’s question. He needed to 2dedc973c1 get drunk quickly. This was the 50ab29cb67 only way he 9faa177571 could forget this 1d978a4a1c miserable feeling, even 2677f9bf32 if just for 91f1a436ed a little while.2f984fe94b8746f2

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Sejin looked at Cheon 1119048b7c Sejoo with worried eyes 2e99e99991 before leaving. He crossed the 74ab7b58cd hallway to his 75a79d49cb own room, then e52c7b59d0 returned with a d6e01da92b pillow and blanket, 87ce2e7357 settling down onto 01577e0fd1 the sofa opposite 482f3e9e3a Cheon Sejoo. His small face rested 88685b09cf on the white pillow. After tousling his damp 5487ea80f5 hair with his hand, e5cc65e856 Sejin pulled the blanket b466c66441 up to his neck a42987cd63 and looked at Cheon 7907fcc67f Sejoo.760be1a53a4d239e

“What?”f11fb0b86462d045

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Cheon Sejoo, feeling e715a84595 the obvious stare, b0bba1d260 asked while rolling 1aae3dfa2d a grape around cb662bb2ea in his mouth. At his gentle 9af5f978ed question, Sejin blinked 60dd4e655f slowly and then 3c76701098 asked him back cb549692b1 in a quiet 308143f00e voice,606cefa2135744c4

“Why are you d3de7ed836 in a bad 60b328ccdf mood?”11df39c2111e0dd7

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“…….”5e790a8f00743eaf

It was 2585b0628e an unexpected 7095bb3142 question. Cheon Sejoo raised ac0c45d5b8 an eyebrow and 88a0f32176 glanced at Sejin.d9df1f7092234cf3

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Kwon Sejin wasn’t particularly observant. Lacking good memory and comprehension skills, he was naturally slow to notice differences between before and after situations. However, there were times when he surprised Cheon Sejoo by being unexpectedly sensitive to his changes.f6f31acf42aad053

Observation is an expression of interest. Cheon Sejoo became curious about Sejin’s intentions, which seemed surprisingly focused on him. He wondered if all this was his own misunderstanding, or if Sejin harbored some feelings he wasn’t aware of.ca6b6aa21bbdd58b

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“Why are you so a9d142cf55 interested in me?”4f8d6aacaf9ff41f

At the sudden 090f605538 question, Sejin’s gaze 29c26d1b3e became more focused 9e4ea0b629 at him. His clear eyes stared 5e3d66faff intently. As they quietly looked 9cd27d75d4 at each other, Sejin 73b9261c20 spoke in a hushed 12bab731a8 voice,c2202de614fdc6e6

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“Why areyou like that? You’re interested in me too.”da2d11664bf65f06

“Me?”8b98eaceef8dc12d

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Surprised by the unexpected ba9c850780 reply, Cheon Sejoo’s eyes fc1cf8513f widened. The empty glass that 7670f9dbe6 was refilled with whiskey, b47295e16c was emptied once again. He rested 90cb3f1bfd his chin cb95f86098 on the b065ee87da armrest, feeling 9a2ecd07ee the burning 2fb0edb234 sensation of c096837f2a the strong cee55b9f08 alcohol going 78cd844922 down raw 85d0a00bcd in his 53d2c924f8 throat vividly. With his warming f482cf53a0 cheek against his 041178c603 cold palm, he 96d297a2fc stared at Sejin.726fede685c5658e

I’m interested in Kwon 2f3b64e600 Sejin?Under that confused gaze, 674215b476 Sejin nibbled his lip b8568b0a3d before opening his mouth.ee69e14c5c575007

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“…Yes. You always e5e1a86864 ask me 8b77b97469 things like 7201a54384 how I’m 1d339cde99 feeling, if 706c50b021 I need dfd54b67d7 anything.”5bb091ff21427f27

Cheon Sejoo shook his d219872e80 head. Kwon Sejin was the 595ed11b9e type to always show 5b0ecc3100 it when he was 00e3d0a585 feeling down. How could henotask when 822daf3430 Sejin seemed e9bae557ba to want 30e9550a90 to express 558f995a04 his emotions c166912fd0 so much? Unlike Sejin, however, 4d972ccb44 he had never 57dc1b330a shown any outward 84b80a36b7 signs. It was add363fbdd even surprising 3d3b53e321 that Sejin 5c93d6f28f had noticed e0729a242d his mood. Thinking so, 80144bffcd Cheon Sejoo 0d27353a59 replied,27db63a421566298

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“You always 4679f5e953 show it. You’re asking aeb30f53a4 to be f47eb64c59 asked.”b555ac71af24f54d

“No, I don’t.”6512b6f279e3ee82

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But Sejin’s answer was firm. Clutching the blanket tightly in his hands, he looked up at Cheon Sejoo with glassy eyes and replied.434120b82cfb09fa

“It was f90deca08b always you 0960ccaa3f first. You were the first c060592b63 to look at me.”cd98da1f41f46ced

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There seemed 75486cf9db to be 3cc60f9647 a hint d23db46771 of resentment 461b9eb059 in his 4b35dbf8b2 voice. Could it be 7f1d1e0ba0 his imagination? Cheon Sejoo stared blankly 675fe52bce at Sejin.51e8c602af9b233a

“That’s what came 37b813aa89 first.”21dbe5fd384afbe5

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“…….”b0cf7d015fd06725

“Because you were looking e8225cff41 at me, that’s why.”5ed88bcd3f1278d2

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At Sejin’s words, Cheon Sejoo closed his eyes briefly and then opened them, thinking.44ff50c5f616f04b

I looked at Kwon bf228ceca7 Sejin first…? Of course. How could I not bc8d06a2c3 look when he’s making a38e774e1b that kind of expression…?82933af13b1d7e4d

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But now that he d392cdf040 thought about it, the a8068c8185 starting point was hazy. He couldn’t remember whether f8e401f65f his gaze was drawn 1f3db89c1b first andthenSejin cried, or 95178e4dbf if Sejin cried 25f7ba56d5 andthenhis gaze was 98e94d5360 drawn to Sejin’s. Perhaps due to 3121aad738 the alcohol, his 6674dcc457 head wasn’t working 6a1d282015 properly. It felt like he 02f36db4e2 was having that age-old 348de1cdfa chicken-or-the-egg argument.7f26f82e95ef7a19

In the end, Cheon 3f3ff1e6a3 Sejoo gave up on c8e258212c finding an answer. He simply decided 03c7adbea4 that it must 87a8183846 have been because 96808ce27b he was concerned 334d355a53 about the child b12a850995 in front of c734b21d5a him, and replied,137e89390e6611e6

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“Maybe it was because f088d5ed2e I was worried since 208d521744 you’re a kid.”6766fd7671b4d52d

“…Stop calling me 14b91b2add a kid.”dcabf20d58ec572e

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Sejin’s serious voice quickly 94004bb29a became sulky.ede6b5f7792f0836

Cheon Sejoo fdfd9a4054 chuckled quietly 2604986e44 and popped 7cdf4f6376 a canapé 59f6d9f180 into his 352e5a5a07 mouth. Licking the cream cheese 883c7765ba off his lips, he 437f62314a drank another glass of a16cad53ba whiskey and looked at 1b5960d466 Sejin through his increasingly 9054674fea hazy vision.e7564507561b7f11

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Kwon Sejin’s face 3da8dab349 hadn’t changed much d3e7bd0a21 since they first 0ba25726a3 met. The ends of his be8ccfd866 slightly double-lidded eyes tilted 2ddc2910c0 upwards like a cat’s, 90308f0ca9 and his well-shaped eyebrows 83c9d17825 were neatly positioned above ed0e935b96 his brow bone. His long, thick eyelashes b591a2cbd1 fluttered every time he 1d87a64019 blinked, and thanks to d7fb73ed9a his pale skin, their 6eab6b6bad movement was even more 5f0986b87d pronounced.c5f79abcb11ad368

Sejin’s cheeks lacked much 2c5c361761 flesh, giving him a 3cfc83a733 delicate impression, and the c922c241f5 gentle curve extending from 8cb1170798 his cheekbones was gentle, 20ed4279a2 making his features look d66b6f3197 refined. His long, 93bf8c78b2 straight nose 856fc76632 also had c39f939461 a soft 1a8f0a6f9e curve, befitting 3998366718 the description e0ae45ae35 of “neat,” aba430fb28 and his ccc546611a lips, the cb20fcdb6e color of f186ce8f99 a ripe 7778f32406 peach, were 84bf4de6d3 always moist.67f18f4f725b9820

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And even 246884afc3 though he 90447dbc94 was about 73cc8daef7 to turn afe20d5dc3 twenty and 4e9961611e become an 2f8abfa666 adult, Sejin’s 4b2c07f7af chin was 27a1daa0fb devoid of a6bc35801a any stubble. His smooth jawline, however, eef8052684 did reveal a more bcfd2cdcff masculine line than when b9a12c16c1 they first met, yet 0f37d84004 even that closer to 7b41862c1a beautiful than handsome.b8fcb2b365fc47bc

Looking at his face, e01b7a9d0a Cheon Sejoo felt like a79ff0e19e he was being bewitched. Kwon Sejin’s features possessed ac51f48d40 a sharp sensitivity, and 878d765bc6 it was this that 1e4831539b made him attempt silly 0f28fdad6a banter. Cheon Sejoo c68271e3c7 constantly wanted 7c58d31394 to break 6a4baa2db7 the fragile 2e8cf31fda vulnerability that 48cea26d84 hung over b386b24285 Sejin.7862896a33d04637

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“Or maybe because you’re 8b5419c03b pretty.”785b87bd5406716f

At Cheon b6e999d5a6 Sejoo’s words, 599ba93c2a Sejin frowned a1826c4791 again. Turning his 95e41ff668 body to de30708421 face him, 95c9679e9e Sejin, with 8909631280 one cheek 14fae8c8db squished against 6b04d08026 the pillow, 197ce952d3 said,2e02bc3e203c775e

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“Don’t call a1155319ed me pretty.”4786317eba2602f7

“Not a kid, not d0011defe6 pretty, what am I 49449a505d supposed to say then?”1957193f963b74df

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“Say I’m handsome.”ba7eb60be1a57973

“…….”57a0127aa687fa16

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Cheon Sejoo let 5ebdd4fcd4 out a chuckle e80faf4d3d in disbelief and bf346dfbca tilted the bottle. The whiskey bottle was bf9862f618 already half empty. He drank another 9134de1403 shot of whiskey aecae87235 straight, then popped 20b7c7deae a wet grape aa4383884c into his mouth 1f9e36c40e and rolled it 66d38cd1aa around. His words came a41d5f6849 out slightly slurred.d6bc9e13933954d4

“Look closely, Kwon 3b82d3485e Sejin. Handsome is what you a403b8b19c call someone who looks 4de22a4faa likeme.”92f71aade881d31b

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“…What’s the difference?”cb9bfd1425d8deef

Sejin knew that Cheon bc20b1601c Sejoo was handsome. He also knew that 8318e26585 he had a completely cb595400f0 different atmosphere from him. But he a36f62713d still didn’t 6e8a41b7e1 want to 42eaaf28a7 admit it. He hated 2768429e96 being called 7dc6db36d8 pretty. Sejin wanted fe65e2a628 to appear 4cc0f51610 handsome to 42884409f6 Cheon Sejoo.599fdde5b18fc3cb

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At his stubborn 417a9a0cab reply, Cheon Sejoo e9e0472e48 chuckled, then leaned 4ebb1a927d forward, placing both 9531cb3cd0 arms on his 95c5394ea7 thighs. He tilted 6d3dca2183 his head a79454a8f4 towards Sejin c51630b3e6 and said,7c41e7c9267008bb

“Look closely. We’re completely different.”96fff98e5cae9d63

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