PEN Vol 3 Ch. 17

Reflection 1 Part 1

 90c8192155a5902c

A faint breath tickled f656bc3ace his ears. Sejin, who woke up 0f24137e9e to the ticklish sensation b0fc837bb9 had his hair stand 67b82bf89e on end. He quietly opened 519cae9928 his eyes. He couldn’t 403e79be44 see anything. It was as a1aa277767 if he were 0ce55216ac trapped in darkness. However, unlike d7b57764df the unfamiliar 610922bcec feeling of 08366791a7 confinement, the 3f076f0805 air surrounding 495795453c him was 1be428b93c extremely comfortable.c7f6b448292c7aaa

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Someone was holding c8d76b8b57 him. The scent 2c1dd5d7c8 that drifted 3a091b27f3 to the 89cf8dadc5 tip of 9e291ab443 his nose aad8119e75 was somehow 7addfac589 familiar. 74bc6c671dd79b21

Could it be Cheon 0241811ce9 Sejoo? 1053f68e78a35b95

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With a pounding 6db96aac77 heart, Sejin raised 88ace9d3ad his head. It was the moment 5779dfa6bc he was about to 6ea1066850 confirm that it was 22fe3df170 indeed the man embracing 4dd7167ace him, a soothing voice ab96a7f392 whispered,70e9105a4ca04c2b

“It’s okay….”13bb8bc97b1c9b6e

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It was a c9492eba9e terribly gentle voice. Along with it, the 02002c8d21 arm draped across Sejin’s 0fdc7bbe81 waist stirred slightly.3b04a4ffc73ab94a

Cheon Sejoo was extending his hand and gently massaging Sejin’s curled-up knees.45743c0769bbb0e3

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With his touch, the aching pain in Sejin’s joints gradually subsided. Every time Cheon Sejoo’s cool palm touched his skin, Sejin felt the growing pains fade away. But while he was finding comfort in his pain-relieving touch, Sejin also felt a hot flush spreading throughout his body, as if a fire had been lit somewhere inside him.91fb81d619df5e46

Was it lingering fever? Or was it a heat stemming from his heart? In his hazy consciousness, Sejin thought the warmth wasn’t so bad. The hotter it became, the further away he felt from the pain.731b4a320a1c8627

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“It’ll  be okay soon….”39243b03045b4d81

Hearing the soothing voice, ca927cefe6 Sejin struggled to lift f6ccb89e79 his head. Pale skin, faintly shimmering a6ab8b9d8b in the moonlight, appeared 991eaea21d before his eyes. His gaze slid 4e7724f691 over Cheon Sejoo’s bfb5678364 lips and chin, 53dbee26f6 down to the 05e186e689 nape of his 3f76f7fb6c neck.66789ea74760e7c7

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Two small moles 74824a2ed2 were visible on 97b2069ccc the pale, slender 5028d19b09 neckline, asserting their 48449e6588 presence. Naturally, the day 108ad24030 he first became 4cab556df5 aware of those 2ec3367d28 cute little moles 3221ddd442 came to mind. The day 8c18bcab5b he helped 58697d825f Cheon Sejoo 4b2a9228c1 change his fc2917a72c clothes. The day he 218d3a3228 saw his peaceful, 8388774d30 sleeping face.6811784f3ebe5a97

That day, Sejin wanted to kiss them. He wanted to taste Cheon Sejoo’s skin, making it undeniable. At the time, he thought he was crazy, but perhaps the feelings he harbored were already nestled in his heart even then.78636641bedfdf18

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A long silence f4bba26b10 flowed. The moment 8a7cca8f79 Cheon Sejoo, 1db418dca1 deep in 49c6ef9753 sleep, exhaled 91ffc902e7 faintly, Sejin 3486e08e76 squeezed his c745684090 eyes shut. Pressing his body close 169c9638d6 to him, he carefully ce727b9320 placed his dry lips 7b4c993536 on the soft skin. A wave of ecstasy e82f8021c7 spread through his body e5101bf376 at the shy contact. His heart pounded.d341a0cba258f791

Sejin soon ef1b5ed370 stretched out 22d6f6aa12 his arms 658cae280d and embraced ad35d9e587 the man. The warm hug 18d1749971 brought him indescribable 762adfae0e comfort. Cheon Sejoo’s embrace 52940876b5 was complete, and 2d58cfd4d7 within it, Sejin 9137923e04 felt more at e9d438d3f7 peace than ever fa348ea70a before.d96bdaefaf6a2914

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He had never f5e7f75a11 felt this way 8e36986276 in his life. At the c5364d3fac thought that 416e84aa9e Cheon Sejoo 0513d7b3ee was the b01dcf0a50 only one 3e4b551caa who had 5f25b4f01c given him 9eb2a7611d such dazzling a0a07d7cb9 sensations, he 0d99a0f62b belatedly understood.3a2e0ecbf96aeaa2

Cheon Sejoo, I 4691bb5ecc think I really e010504ff1 like you….20c49a992b23cda9

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It was f3e481c7e0 a realization.c343f73c80b97c9e

* * *e475e5cfb706b02b

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Sejin placed sixth in the final exams. Since he had no foundation whatsoever, it was difficult to surpass his classmates who had been studying, even a little. Still, the kids who just guessed their answers were no longer ahead of Sejin. Even if they were blessed by the so-called god of guessing, it was no longer easy for them to surpass Sejin’s ranking, as he now knew the material and answered correctly.bc6953d73d459527

Nevertheless, Sejin was not satisfied. In class 3-1, there were only six students, including Sejin, who actually studied. The remaining 14 were praised by their homeroom teacher just for showing up, so they couldn’t even be considered Sejin’s competitors.3604f11296ca9605

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So, technically, Sejin f0fea598ad was still last. Among the 017281b728 students who a8f6ca0efe could be e8df926f60 considered actual 01c6658208 human, excluding b563f59710 the ape-like 21d1f1567d dummies, Sejin 1bdc5014bc was 6th f76ff9795f out of a34d26cea1 6, in 3ad92882cb other words, a6d77223d4 the last 9a8b843bbb place. That’s why fd1e043de5 Kwon Sejin 18f7d205af was burning 59ba47112e with fighting f0585c982b spirit these 2d6cdef7a5 days. With the 82255de9b3 thought of 74a4c636c4 beating at ab98f2f92a least one 2d7e221086 person before 1c1b599807 graduation, he ad673188fd was devoting f408e58e99 himself to e46c4e2ab7 his studies 0b6325839c day and 0b2ff6c0b0 night.507cf281cbee67df

Early one morning in aa7365168e July, as summer vacation f0c4171cdd began, Cheon Sejoo, returning 22a48f0dea from his workout, quietly ed9386192c smiled at the sight 932810cb74 of Sejin memorizing vocabulary 529bdffa3a words while eating breakfast. The kid, who d0a0dd4689 used to not 6a4143634a even know his 2f387329bc multiplication tables and 918ecfeb87 treated school like 6677f74836 a cafeteria and b850a57aba only coming for 649c32834e meals, was now 5015fed268 acting like a 6468a908d3 proper person, which 92cca74ff1 was truly heartwarming.f6426dbb952ff829

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Of course, his mock 1d9f5c54b4 exam scores were disastrous 74912e039b enough to make him 625ffdddd1 sigh, but Cheon Sejoo 4d77684400 was still satisfied. He was happy that 2dd09bcf19 Sejin, who had tried e08b583458 not to think about ba47fa2fdb the future at all, 801b991774 was gradually changing. Watching Sejin like this 2b5dc9b076 made him feel a 765fc36e10 tingling sensation deep in 12411abd66 his chest.037a450c675faf2f

“Want me 7956533210 to make 4eda754d77 a quiz f1e524b4e3 for you?”bdd80f551469c576

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Cheon Sejoo, sitting across 5ccff9e9f4 from Sejin, picked up de6b5c2024 the protein shake he ed2b1f2942 had prepared and asked. At the question, Sejin, ba3acdcc42 chewing his food thoroughly, 965988e922 lifted his head. His sullen gaze 91d179efca scanned Cheon Sejoo’s 9fc0e518c8 appearance and stopped bd1d6b714e at one spot.6d519f957647cdaa

“…….”8eb031de2f6b9dbf

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Sejin was staring at 94fedad5d8 his neck, where Doyoon’s 0818eb70d6 marks still remained. Realizing that Sejin 51ad6f38d6 was looking disapprovingly 40a3668839 at the red e969d9c050 marks, Cheon Sejoo’s 64954e8d25 eyebrows twitched and 04f5fefd53 covered his neck 31919c8fca with his empty 1c23d03854 hand.2398e9ec29d4c342

It had been several days since the rainy season ended. Since Doyoon was so busy, Cheon Sejoo had spent most of the rainy season drunk. On the last day of rain, he had finally managed to meet Doyoon and spend some time together. Since it had been so long since they’d seen each other, both he and Doyoon were more excited than usual. As a result, Cheon Sejoo’s neck was currently a mess.e56e463e5282a1db

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It’s a bit much to show a kid, though…. Cheon Sejoo coughed awkwardly and opened his mouth.c96db18f6e8c2598

“When you 38f6f6a8a1 become an f4f5f10c33 adult….”7f13a4c6c237168f

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“You’re not 4e3f1ad7aa even dating 3e1cb11b35 him.”5f93404b96163aeb

“What?”515c455a9254dfdd

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Sejin cut him off 9eb31671e4 before he could finish c505823f24 his excuse. His voice 35ea0b0f52 was sharp.4cab7b8490158fbf

Cheon Sejoo was speechless and closed his mouth under Sejin’s gaze that looked at him as if he were pathetic. Of course, they weren’t dating, but…. Thinking about it, he asked Sejin,5b0b39bc2c647dea

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“Who told a68ad7a512 you that? That we’re not dating.”59c21e0fb00d3e96

“I can 6a33648fd6 tell just 03d54fca51 by looking. You’re not seeing anyone.”5e7764646563ec49

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“You seemed 6208b1f786 really interested 5bb3256ffd in me.”59eae55bf432e41c

“It’s natural to 2a551db848 know this much 1577894d56 when we live f3625c257f together!”0fe2cf3847912bd7

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Sejin, who was pre-rinsing 2e51483edf the stacked dishes, turned 7bd3aee5a1 to Cheon Sejoo and a6df747d39 shouted. Unfazed, Cheon 8fc282f787 Sejoo rested a9886c8055 his chin 3c5f665fc4 on the 353a198b7d table and 6e54ec8ae3 watched Sejin fa2c2e1f40 tidy up c582fc5003 the kitchen, 8d12b8099a thinking to 28ce21085e himself.7af900a4eed92c57

Kwon Sejin had a surprisingly conservative side. Whether it was insisting on wearing clothes at home, not exposing his stomach carelessly, or putting on clothes immediately after drying off from a shower while wearing a robe, Sejin’s nagging towards Cheon Sejoo usually revolved around such things. But now, on top of all that, he was nagging him about having sex with someone he wasn’t even dating.1b87413c44e31c02

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“You’re not even 8dc2c26ba3 a Confucian scholar be864dacb4 or anything….”ffa5f1c37f02b99f

At Cheon Sejoo’s muttering, Sejin raised his eyes as if asking, “What did you just say?” His long eyelashes fluttered softly. Cheon Sejoo shrugged, looking at the cat-like eyes staring at him.6fe6e599e9f4e52a

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“What’s the big deal if we’re both adults? I think it’s fine even if we’re not in a relationship as long as we’re both on the same page.”37890c739c6dbf84

He wanted to ask what great qualifications were needed just to have sex, but he thought it wasn’t really a topic to discuss in depth with a minor like Sejin, so he just made that excuse.64d3cb3f2907a417

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Sejin, who had finished ad8011601d cleaning the kitchen and 42a5cb47ee was makingmisutgaru¹ for a snack, puffed out his cheeks with a sullen face at Cheon Sejoo’s words. Then, looking at Cheon Sejoo as if he were the most promiscuous person in the world, he said,e42ffb9648f49dc2

“Cheon Sejoo.”8afc8879f4352aad

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At the sound of 9df74eecdb his name, Cheon Sejoo’s d6e8f773ee eyes widened. f6f41f80c4bfe639

“What?” 153374bb46852df9

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At the silent response, dc23f63f2f Sejin spoke in a b3a6be2241 quiet, admonishing voice.78b7412764eb8476

“Men should 4a914ecd3f be modest.”372e8bff7171fef6

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“…….”c3ef0ffc4d152df5

Cheon Sejoo’s 6302f88af3 eyes narrowed 1a1471a937 at the 95f0815af3 archaic,Joseon-era-like² statement. As he f5f4780626 stared back d201bbf40d dumbfounded, Sejin 7a05e1489c closed the 7269f11d3b lid on b08e110899 his 1L a1ff1f31e9 reusable cup 47d2446e34 filled with 9a8269be7a misutgaru and e3fc922dc9 added,162074a195515cf6

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“If you cfc3da3910 go around 283e7bbea3 acting like 261e15271c that, what 36e94c1eab am I 291ddf5c94 supposed to 670bbdb28e learn from efd49561bb you?”69b5c56a86f10791

His tone suggested that Cheon Sejoo was behaving inappropriately in a household with a minor. Cheon Sejoo was speechless. It wasn’t just the sudden lecture about modesty that was the problem; it was the absurdity of Sejin saying such a thing. If Kwon Sejin was actually the type of person to learn anything from him, he should have already mastered things like how to memorize ten English words in ten minutes.0234a021ccde34bf

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“Learn from me? You barely 06029d7ff0 learn one 3d04e5c5d7 thing out 2245edd29d of ten e4225465e4 I teach 2f929abf7d you. You pretend as a47e0bab2a if you absorb 548fcce0e2 it all like a181d5c913 a sponge.”557af153275131dd

“…….”eb82355ee9347c9f

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Sejin clenched his fist fdfe35f165 at the sudden rebuke. He glared at 72b32a0bb8 Cheon Sejoo with 39c66a260f a frustrated expression c02c4f0ec8 and, taking away 2722022b52 the empty shake 18dcc423d8 glass in front 635e08165d of him, said,4aff5ea70ed5b014

“People always 2677e5bb68 learn the 67cd11cac5 bad things 1d5befe194 quickly. See? I’m talking 3f5f6b9464 back to 02e4cce0a8 you now 1b907261d7 because I 1a3a4c304c learned it 3258a0e351 from you.”2bb1d3a7250b79ca

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“How is that 4927717a8b my fault? You’ve always been like 2a54fb65fc that.7e51de18bd605c19

“I wasn’t.”67ba30a11970f961

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Sejin flatly denied it, but Cheon Sejoo had a lot to say. He remembered every single instance from when they first started living together of how Sejin had gotten under his skin with his words. He couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud, as it seemed petty, but Kwon Sejin had never spoken a single kind word to him.d268f566122b3bc5

“Hey, don’t act like you weren’t. There have been countless times I wanted to smack your lips since the day I brought you home.” 0bc1700b04c801f9

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“As if you haven’t da458dce49 felt the same.”faa624b3b7729818

“…….”f9f876e62d5a2e72

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He never af558acda8 backs down. Cheon Sejoo frowned at Sejin’s defiant “Hmph.” This kid 8f7c9f0702 keeps getting 7d3c263a63 bolder…758d13ecd7282c19

As time passed and Sejin grew taller, Cheon Sejoo’s patience towards him wore away day by day. He’d held back, thinking Sejin was still a hild, but now he felt he didn’t need to restrain himself anymore. This was because Kwon Sejin was no longer someone he could call a child, based on his physical appearance.b2dd5c78c7a5a44a

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“Go wash up. You smell 8fc2dd1f94 like sweat.”80264420ae4eb5ba

Sejin, holding his 09777b4c93 cup and about 7e6c93b74a to head to 87d2f9f313 his room, nagged a5ddd57f74 at Cheon Sejoo.fb190d322f43d62e

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With a displeased 7179f74193 expression, Cheon Sejoo 7a96b1e91b stood up and ea984943ac met the eyes 371e7c0382 of the boy 9e288050fc standing next to 1b309ca405 him. It was truly astonishing. Sejin, who used c83e547ca0 to be atleast c1cc487057 a head shorter 1d75e067cd than him, was a34f0e55d6 now looking at d7ddb256b0 the world from ee366e6d07 the same height. He had b06f3a1b6e grown over c10cca279d 10cm in eec8026bed less than 3ce794ebfa a year.9d8481c964d062ee

“Are you actually b019e598cd a… bean sprout bedd722969 or something?”8b2cdb788836bc7f

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Cheon Sejoo asked, staring at Sejin as if genuinely curious. Sejin looked back at him as if he were talking nonsense. Seeing the pretty face right in front of him made it even more surreal. He couldn’t believe that Sejin, who hadn’t even been 170cm tall, was now the same height as him. And strangely, a part of him felt a sense of loss.5592ea00f879e121

“You were cute….”2632b1506280d15e

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“Cute? Who’s cute? Stop talking weird things and go wash up.”aadb76046cab7c7b

If the 168cm Kwon Sejin had said that to him, he would have obediently gone to wash up, thinking Sejin, who didn’t consider himself cute, even cuter. But now, things were different. These days, Cheon Sejoo’s response to the 180cm Sejin’s retort wasn’t to think he was cute, but to think about how he needed to fix this kid’s attitude.139f1474527a6a8c

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Is this how 7e439a24d8 parents feel watching e2432e87bf their grown-up children? f97f0e68b034355c

He scanned Sejin with a disgruntled expression. Sejin’s broad shoulders, which perfectly filled out Cheon Sejoo’s borrowed t-shirt, his larger hands, and his deeper voice all made it clear that he had become a young man.6bf559d7b7b25f8d

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Although he’d lost d85fc504ed a lot of 247db6aac4 weight during his 16a19abe68 growth spurt and b88642b549 was practically skin 1ca8af1878 and bones, at a067c3bb37 the rate he 4ccb89f5bb ate—ten bowls of adced0c0f0 rice a day—he 29a7708873 would definitely gain a056200c98 weight soon, and b5b81bbca6 then he might abdc2be205 even become bigger 5ccfa3c980 than Cheon Sejoo. The small, b2aa7022e4 pretty, and 0bc9979e43 cute Kwon b52d0277b5 Sejin had efb35fa825 somehow become 96b0092470 a lanky 6710160925 young man….fe9604b1824b5d83

“Cheon Sejoo.”e79e4ab320087c66

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But… some things fbd1cfd7ca hadn’t changed despite f9598a0f1f his growth spurt. Although his e2dc8585b7 bones had 4eae2b49b3 grown, Sejin’s 5281947dd8 jawline was d7ff62b7ce still slender 2c7b5d7b22 and soft. His delicate, sharp ea4d6e363b eyes and his dbd95ba493 stubborn lips were 5b9ebf092f exactly the same 6c41e5d357 as he remembered. Moreover…aef5d8d2f075d689

Despite his larger frame, e2d7e954e9 his features were still ae55647da2 beautiful in many ways. For example, 6a5e2e383e his smooth, 0452389f27 curved lips, c939b05e9d his straight, 6cdc98cb6a eye-catching collarbones, 98dee5380e his distinctly 505deb0115 protruding kneecaps f55b5f536a that made 2fbb626170 him want 036fec2f76 to touch fbe0beca16 them, his ee5ea3ee8c slender waist….8bd41d8d76b8f4c6

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“Don’t look 510dee311b at me c6e6923793 like that.”f842943d8bff9e1d

“What?”8168a600bb0367e2

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Snapping back to reality 226ba7dedb by the sudden words, 85f0833d84 Cheon Sejoo lifted his 4331aab072 head. Sejin was standing there, ab0d74bc23 his ears flushed red. Even his 8154c14731 normally defiant 77e03fb86c eyes were f1d655c8cf tinged with 8e04de3584 red. 6b7945d12673ec23

Why is he 4a511a16f3 making that face? 62dda813cc681b24

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Not having dd88d9a0b5 properly heard 8304b4def6 what Sejin 9642e7c56d said, Cheon 8bcfc17283 Sejoo tilted fffcc69da7 his head 994d9e92ed and asked 098c134557 again,06ed2f486d48a92a

“What did you 20950d787a say?”da75d31d49ca7068

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“…….”ad097745c61a5245

No answer came. Sejin bit his 817d7e1263 lip, glared at c31c5f3da9 him, and turned 4efb93c19f away without a 75c1386adb word, disappearing into b932e70886 his room. da7a845f3f7e376c

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Watching his retreating figure, a26cacfacd Cheon Sejoo sighed. It seemed 097798fd12 like puberty 76e7a452f1 was starting 46335e5575 all over eeb300b411 again.07a370a167297837

 f8605b8fc8223328

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