PEN Vol 3 Ch. 17

Reflection 1 Part 1

 1a827cf44af97b2d

A faint breath tickled 6ac40dc4cd his ears. Sejin, who woke up a634c07ad0 to the ticklish sensation 1cd0b84225 had his hair stand d4ec0f3ee1 on end. He quietly opened his 31e7b4d80e eyes. He couldn’t see anything. It was as if 0730add9e7 he were trapped in b707de8107 darkness. However, unlike the d50d24afb5 unfamiliar feeling of 7e8db35f60 confinement, the air b7d71a6332 surrounding him was f6623e6b16 extremely comfortable.fe4dccdfb2c0db58

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Someone was 8b857a9cfd holding him. The scent 397cc2cdc7 that drifted 20b89ee7a1 to the 275789ff4e tip of ce1725984f his nose e48ef968d9 was somehow 269a7da1a1 familiar. 1a9f30144351d848

Could it be cbf71b84ee Cheon Sejoo? 430a774b52891266

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With a 0e11be8e7a pounding heart, 5c46beca20 Sejin raised fd2e806f21 his head. It was the moment 5fe663bb8d he was about to 0e0bcde392 confirm that it was c7e57d77b6 indeed the man embracing 361ab3634d him, a soothing voice 2283a7ac1d whispered,fcf50fe5e6a7aa09

“It’s okay….”aa876d94bda2b190

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It was 3b7fa17d16 a terribly 050645a2c9 gentle voice. Along with it, c44cbb61a7 the arm draped ba4dd86c70 across Sejin’s waist 331549dc45 stirred slightly.bc69686b6a99bcb6

Cheon Sejoo was extending his hand and gently massaging Sejin’s curled-up knees.4cb5e8eedd9c18f6

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With his touch, the aching pain in Sejin’s joints gradually subsided. Every time Cheon Sejoo’s cool palm touched his skin, Sejin felt the growing pains fade away. But while he was finding comfort in his pain-relieving touch, Sejin also felt a hot flush spreading throughout his body, as if a fire had been lit somewhere inside him.83e1b7d0165758d6

Was it lingering fever? Or was it a heat stemming from his heart? In his hazy consciousness, Sejin thought the warmth wasn’t so bad. The hotter it became, the further away he felt from the pain.bb2675d59d90404b

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“It’ll  be okay 3e98af7915 soon….”0c5229e492c3390c

Hearing the 541531c195 soothing voice, 8b9486c307 Sejin struggled a39cc5f258 to lift edd358d48e his head. Pale skin, faintly 4d565858f8 shimmering in the 03d03eb6db moonlight, appeared before a3943c9605 his eyes. His gaze slid over 2f4542e580 Cheon Sejoo’s lips and 6d1ee6509f chin, down to the 670c16fa7f nape of his neck.84f3e00a1a31b44c

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Two small moles were d702a9d0c0 visible on the pale, 02bbfc98f8 slender neckline, asserting their 5c7b3073c5 presence. Naturally, the day eb94bc8f66 he first became 8d8dafa5b6 aware of those 7c8def1d61 cute little moles 0edf8b0617 came to mind. The day he helped 5c469e14bb Cheon Sejoo change his 410392498d clothes. The day f1d13eec9a he saw a00b540012 his peaceful, 129eade584 sleeping face.e895d326baef9879

That day, Sejin wanted to kiss them. He wanted to taste Cheon Sejoo’s skin, making it undeniable. At the time, he thought he was crazy, but perhaps the feelings he harbored were already nestled in his heart even then.f4ab81d42ab7d61d

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A long 1565c36cc6 silence flowed. The moment Cheon Sejoo, 924c9a73a0 deep in sleep, exhaled ece6aab58b faintly, Sejin squeezed his c60c7e902d eyes shut. Pressing his body close 48f28428e1 to him, he carefully 56ff4ce2f3 placed his dry lips bc4cce5821 on the soft skin. A wave of ecstasy 20e36c2185 spread through his body 81a85ef179 at the shy contact. His heart pounded.dfdfff3d899a0cf6

Sejin soon stretched out 36918349ec his arms and embraced 083d2db3d2 the man. The warm hug a0e3098527 brought him indescribable 1ce7269dec comfort. Cheon Sejoo’s embrace was 127ebfaab2 complete, and within it, e5ad1b8a4c Sejin felt more at 4d3bb26971 peace than ever before.be28eca4b7e3d40f

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He had never 6253d3e575 felt this way 242879131c in his life. At the thought that 6edf4deb0e Cheon Sejoo was the 57a545e5f7 only one who had 1d8307207b given him such dazzling 60103768c7 sensations, he belatedly understood.3acc6b12cdd2630a

Cheon Sejoo, I think 2952af39bc I really like you….0c543b49630ab416

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It was a 20a943d018 realization.031f83b0a2ee9c5c

* * *1700ffddd46b7057

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Sejin placed sixth in the final exams. Since he had no foundation whatsoever, it was difficult to surpass his classmates who had been studying, even a little. Still, the kids who just guessed their answers were no longer ahead of Sejin. Even if they were blessed by the so-called god of guessing, it was no longer easy for them to surpass Sejin’s ranking, as he now knew the material and answered correctly.3728ec4137ce13f7

Nevertheless, Sejin was not satisfied. In class 3-1, there were only six students, including Sejin, who actually studied. The remaining 14 were praised by their homeroom teacher just for showing up, so they couldn’t even be considered Sejin’s competitors.05fdc0cee03412a2

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So, technically, 76c4663247 Sejin was 9cd5049b78 still last. Among the 0483f04db5 students who 65c767bc44 could be 6ceb42cffc considered actual 344b933f1d human, excluding ac0e624994 the ape-like 20e62e5b4b dummies, Sejin e7b943c53c was 6th 10e80e6717 out of f4d5121994 6, in bac1b13376 other words, 2cf53751fd the last 61b65874f8 place. That’s why Kwon e4b47f16e4 Sejin was burning 60af08ef92 with fighting spirit cb37c6af59 these days. With the 8bcf96e8ca thought of 964cca58c2 beating at 906bf1202e least one 03f5912db8 person before 23d8572c92 graduation, he 3897349349 was devoting 5d06730dd0 himself to e421547933 his studies 155e210016 day and 8672f5152b night.aa24102e20ead199

Early one ccc43869d1 morning in 8323cb238c July, as ee359c95c3 summer vacation 910540b234 began, Cheon 435c51ed3b Sejoo, returning 26f06c9ef0 from his fc111f01c6 workout, quietly b5e50d077f smiled at b48e1bb220 the sight 2f02c874d7 of Sejin 323c1222fb memorizing vocabulary 8c046ec8eb words while 5acd97a6a0 eating breakfast. The kid, who used 6c17c4dcef to not even know 19c4cca128 his multiplication tables and 19889f5e1c treated school like a 0d7e113448 cafeteria and only coming 14a957587f for meals, was now 18223db44c acting like a proper 4fd2de2d1a person, which was truly 7cd94fd900 heartwarming.0fba86655996f2c5

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Of course, his 15175469ed mock exam scores 28ee22f532 were disastrous enough 0bc861609a to make him 5407c1db76 sigh, but Cheon 4fd179d02b Sejoo was still 83b625ea39 satisfied. He was happy that 39be0261f4 Sejin, who had tried 115b028e41 not to think about ab757d0c47 the future at all, ecce28c3a8 was gradually changing. Watching Sejin like c7803f1c36 this made him d5e5aa44fe feel a tingling aef39738ee sensation deep in 7ef6540ea3 his chest.ab8a1c46d53af9e5

“Want me 035ae163b5 to make 8ec092da15 a quiz 310a4b5e4b for you?”cced8923dc076120

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Cheon Sejoo, sitting across 2ed190fa3a from Sejin, picked up 6ca7f8316a the protein shake he 76541ccb9d had prepared and asked. At the 2acac5b0c1 question, Sejin, 2e818ec709 chewing his f354203e69 food thoroughly, dda90b35b4 lifted his 829e06fba3 head. His sullen gaze scanned b573e120a8 Cheon Sejoo’s appearance and 3617534940 stopped at one spot.2399035ea77d2e7d

“…….”4fe3dc0971ee4124

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Sejin was staring at 26733d173a his neck, where Doyoon’s db83d15fb2 marks still remained. Realizing that c164e8ec42 Sejin was b9ddbbcb82 looking disapprovingly 084cd29cc0 at the fe08c60043 red marks, fb628ce076 Cheon Sejoo’s 5a02892722 eyebrows twitched 8424adf335 and covered d0fa79c83a his neck 3ee59b9332 with his e25983612c empty hand.012e0c38eb0d4334

It had been several days since the rainy season ended. Since Doyoon was so busy, Cheon Sejoo had spent most of the rainy season drunk. On the last day of rain, he had finally managed to meet Doyoon and spend some time together. Since it had been so long since they’d seen each other, both he and Doyoon were more excited than usual. As a result, Cheon Sejoo’s neck was currently a mess.7da4302f8882ad6c

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It’s a bit much to show a kid, though…. Cheon Sejoo coughed awkwardly and opened his mouth.7a3fb2dd211049f0

“When you become an cec0de5e69 adult….”070e0177bc4bb0e1

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“You’re not even e22a70e062 dating him.”80d52eb280ff5b84

“What?”815bd592a2169c89

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Sejin cut him 24be2f4405 off before he a780e15275 could finish his ed7060445f excuse. His voice was f3a5d8b4cc sharp.3e52a292af6d65dd

Cheon Sejoo was speechless and closed his mouth under Sejin’s gaze that looked at him as if he were pathetic. Of course, they weren’t dating, but…. Thinking about it, he asked Sejin,28eeed822f5990a0

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“Who told 4bc5ed0554 you that? That we’re not dating.”0f2837b25680fef4

“I can tell just 40c414984a by looking. You’re not 7c93e7644f seeing anyone.”bb710d388376d8f7

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“You seemed really interested ae24f845c8 in me.”b2295339d77c13e7

“It’s natural to 8eb53b7fba know this much 43e236feb6 when we live f6abbbfe5f together!”c1573c30d9046bc9

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Sejin, who de533da609 was pre-rinsing 6cc8181e67 the stacked cbd9461023 dishes, turned 04eb32f632 to Cheon 439472a34c Sejoo and ae44fa8022 shouted. Unfazed, Cheon 9c8fc28ee6 Sejoo rested 70640c249a his chin bcbcd56e06 on the 55c6c253b8 table and dcc4dec610 watched Sejin 88a938c5fb tidy up 2e7a2a24e4 the kitchen, a54b134606 thinking to 6452aa48c4 himself.fe13c7b209c53c9f

Kwon Sejin had a surprisingly conservative side. Whether it was insisting on wearing clothes at home, not exposing his stomach carelessly, or putting on clothes immediately after drying off from a shower while wearing a robe, Sejin’s nagging towards Cheon Sejoo usually revolved around such things. But now, on top of all that, he was nagging him about having sex with someone he wasn’t even dating.9dde5a5ecfa3d5e3

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“You’re not 37f9ccf410 even a 620b8b5ddf Confucian scholar 7969fa4243 or anything….”bea6d7942f0cb0a6

At Cheon Sejoo’s muttering, Sejin raised his eyes as if asking, “What did you just say?” His long eyelashes fluttered softly. Cheon Sejoo shrugged, looking at the cat-like eyes staring at him.2e10fdb66f02ebcd

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“What’s the big deal if we’re both adults? I think it’s fine even if we’re not in a relationship as long as we’re both on the same page.”d6ef2429a6ccb266

He wanted to ask what great qualifications were needed just to have sex, but he thought it wasn’t really a topic to discuss in depth with a minor like Sejin, so he just made that excuse.a271686cdf808082

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Sejin, who had 3633cee14e finished cleaning the e52b4e0188 kitchen and was 5b82c7d21a makingmisutgaru¹ for a snack, puffed out his cheeks with a sullen face at Cheon Sejoo’s words. Then, looking at Cheon Sejoo as if he were the most promiscuous person in the world, he said,934900831567ce43

“Cheon Sejoo.”ee86e66ff8ceeefd

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At the sound 9f4c7ab1cf of his name, 99f2730d27 Cheon Sejoo’s eyes 1985582cf6 widened. 06629c70343c4744

“What?” c0828ce15857d6bf

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At the silent response, 53bd76851a Sejin spoke in a 94ba35bc5d quiet, admonishing voice.0ae81c2ef871a603

“Men should be modest.”b38ab0b6852e6c33

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“…….”dcc613ac5cdf52e6

Cheon Sejoo’s eyes ffbf374ae4 narrowed at the 24b6d16abd archaic,Joseon-era-like² statement. As he stared back c30ae1abe5 dumbfounded, Sejin closed the fb74714a68 lid on his 1L 6e4a1596ad reusable cup filled with cb8b6b0edc misutgaru and added,be6050dde8d006e4

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“If you 03a098f9d8 go around 2016468a1c acting like 9edba7ef97 that, what 3dfeee963d am I 47e8b44c0f supposed to e4119463ef learn from 858dfd5384 you?”91d5547aa5378b21

His tone suggested that Cheon Sejoo was behaving inappropriately in a household with a minor. Cheon Sejoo was speechless. It wasn’t just the sudden lecture about modesty that was the problem; it was the absurdity of Sejin saying such a thing. If Kwon Sejin was actually the type of person to learn anything from him, he should have already mastered things like how to memorize ten English words in ten minutes.b65119d9e55a8ea0

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“Learn from me? You barely learn one af5fa3fb38 thing out of ten 8fd7584eea I teach you. You pretend as if 4240dc0f4d you absorb it all 0d463f7b33 like a sponge.”d5d14b0b058fed0b

“…….”93a3c7b73c2f41da

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Sejin clenched his 93259905ac fist at the 21330c0d5e sudden rebuke. He glared at 2e8ab5dd8c Cheon Sejoo with bd42120cab a frustrated expression f523472aea and, taking away 967d4ac0a0 the empty shake 448569ef2a glass in front fa8d44187f of him, said,38051bc9454b68a4

“People always b57105580e learn the 67eeef3ff7 bad things e7d4ed16f6 quickly. See? I’m talking back to c8d066a960 you now because I fed58c3455 learned it from you.”40771603ede28d01

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“How is ea51bcbe10 that my 0419c42a97 fault? You’ve always been ef2e27f06b like that.6e7e56262e837781

“I wasn’t.”6d22fd063484b58f

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Sejin flatly denied it, but Cheon Sejoo had a lot to say. He remembered every single instance from when they first started living together of how Sejin had gotten under his skin with his words. He couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud, as it seemed petty, but Kwon Sejin had never spoken a single kind word to him.aad28c03bc82bb04

“Hey, don’t act like you weren’t. There have been countless times I wanted to smack your lips since the day I brought you home.” aca5a86167dea9ef

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“As if you haven’t 9109126eb2 felt the same.”5c362a6317c197ce

“…….”2d8547f8ef86953b

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He never backs down. Cheon Sejoo frowned at Sejin’s defiant “Hmph.” This kid bb9864cdc3 keeps getting 8891c82885 bolder…76b92db1ab7caef1

As time passed and Sejin grew taller, Cheon Sejoo’s patience towards him wore away day by day. He’d held back, thinking Sejin was still a hild, but now he felt he didn’t need to restrain himself anymore. This was because Kwon Sejin was no longer someone he could call a child, based on his physical appearance.4b06fb7032ca5be9

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“Go wash up. You smell like sweat.”f840d6df12d11c30

Sejin, holding his 8ebebb06d7 cup and about b640147960 to head to a93caa4e91 his room, nagged 476d950719 at Cheon Sejoo.7efe61ec599edcdf

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With a displeased 06832a6997 expression, Cheon Sejoo 7018e6a06a stood up and d350c0defb met the eyes 0651f75b56 of the boy a5ca06f94d standing next to eed22cb2ea him. It was b1177dfcd1 truly astonishing. Sejin, who used to 88ca678314 be atleast a head ebee9680bd shorter than him, was f912465096 now looking at the 111bfe5cca world from the same 1c01c53063 height. He had f5bff45ca7 grown over b72b28e6cc 10cm in 35605a8a62 less than 503c2db6f9 a year.09b948e7344ca244

“Are you actually a… e0a39d3896 bean sprout or something?”e92f8671ffb1eb30

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Cheon Sejoo asked, staring at Sejin as if genuinely curious. Sejin looked back at him as if he were talking nonsense. Seeing the pretty face right in front of him made it even more surreal. He couldn’t believe that Sejin, who hadn’t even been 170cm tall, was now the same height as him. And strangely, a part of him felt a sense of loss.f08b500014515287

“You were cute….”bf25a9a7df6f8d93

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“Cute? Who’s cute? Stop talking weird things and go wash up.”d22c15bb0793ff49

If the 168cm Kwon Sejin had said that to him, he would have obediently gone to wash up, thinking Sejin, who didn’t consider himself cute, even cuter. But now, things were different. These days, Cheon Sejoo’s response to the 180cm Sejin’s retort wasn’t to think he was cute, but to think about how he needed to fix this kid’s attitude.66156b6072aa9edf

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Is this how e8b34e4700 parents feel watching 1175af6138 their grown-up children? ef27dd9bb47a3084

He scanned Sejin with a disgruntled expression. Sejin’s broad shoulders, which perfectly filled out Cheon Sejoo’s borrowed t-shirt, his larger hands, and his deeper voice all made it clear that he had become a young man.099b43b8cf6eae5d

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Although he’d lost a c0c6645119 lot of weight during 4dd355e371 his growth spurt and f2d0720190 was practically skin and c43f50dab8 bones, at the rate 9495fbffa6 he ate—ten bowls of 06b2146581 rice a day—he would 0c304cb93b definitely gain weight soon, 243115c693 and then he might 092457616e even become bigger than a3c4b52536 Cheon Sejoo. The small, pretty, and 49b7416d3b cute Kwon Sejin had c2ec4743ab somehow become a lanky 7863d8e9b3 young man….41c6fbbabe19aaf1

“Cheon Sejoo.”1ee5fc8efe9aad3a

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But… some 2c028560ba things hadn’t 8eda302a94 changed despite bd950c422d his growth 65cd023782 spurt. Although his bones 05e71c8185 had grown, Sejin’s 6b2834022d jawline was still 8a7e36eb48 slender and soft. His delicate, sharp eyes fdec76723e and his stubborn lips 91da0a0fc9 were exactly the same cedd1dbec2 as he remembered. Moreover…e288baf93d8e0b82

Despite his larger frame, 0bc56f8c1d his features were still 8461c84974 beautiful in many ways. For example, his 7c6e4128f9 smooth, curved lips, ef5fe55a8b his straight, eye-catching c78d975895 collarbones, his distinctly 35322aa72c protruding kneecaps that d933b5126a made him want 7012f4c92e to touch them, 1cf8dee840 his slender waist….f9f3dff831d667f1

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“Don’t look at e64f5125ff me like that.”4c8750ee5c499961

“What?”b946b76f8f950dd6

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Snapping back 467a523e5d to reality 7666c8b0c4 by the 81358fa80e sudden words, 1f452e287f Cheon Sejoo 62fca199f0 lifted his 6d08d039fc head. Sejin was standing there, cc55bf5a37 his ears flushed red. Even his normally 72ebcff16d defiant eyes were 0e14d55434 tinged with red. 2caa030b60581cb9

Why is he 8896c072bc making that face? 433cf1d057481f50

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Not having properly a58ee4e6d5 heard what Sejin c13c9da32b said, Cheon Sejoo b0c87b1636 tilted his head 4fa6bd621c and asked again,7597d7bfb661bfb1

“What did you 1ccef9ff0b say?”8cd94019819b5e20

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“…….”266469c5d5a5b40a

No answer came. Sejin bit his edfe009864 lip, glared at 4b322e0380 him, and turned 364b373d84 away without a 513042ff9d word, disappearing into 9e0af09c6e his room. 67ad3408ea0023a1

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Watching his retreating figure, c10aaf90db Cheon Sejoo sighed. It seemed like puberty 02e66c7344 was starting all over 1b824b9ae0 again.d7169b5b0ec3eaf0

 df121129dcffd826

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