PEN Vol 3 Ch. 14

With a chill running down his spine, Cheon Sejoo looked at Sejin with an expression that seemed to ask, Could it really be…? 

However, Sejin, unfazed by his gaze, pressed him for an answer.

“What do you mean by the dormitory door? Did something actually happen?”

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“No, no, nothing happened.”

Cheon Sejoo wanted to brush it off somehow, but he couldn’t think of a good excuse. Sejin’s relentless gaze made it clear he wouldn’t stop until he got an answer, so with a heavy sigh, Cheon Sejoo reluctantly gave in and share a bit of the truth. 

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“Yes, I did go to Ehwagak.”

“Why? You said you had something urgent to handle yesterday. Was that about Ehwagak? Did you go because of my mom?”

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For a moment, Sejin’s cold expression began to crack. With a deeply worried look, he repeatedly asked Cheon Sejoo as if something serious had happened. As always, Sejin couldn’t keep his composure when it came to anything related to his mother.

This was precisely why Kim Hyunkyung had had asked him not to let Sejin find out that she’d collapsed. Clicking his tongue inwardly, Cheon Sejoo made an excuse that he had roughly come up with.

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“I went because of you. Yeah, for you.”

“For me? Why? I didn’t do anything.”

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“To… talk about your career plans.”

“What?”

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Sejin asked back as he stared at him in disbelief, but his sudden question offered Cheon Sejoo an unexpected opportunity. Without missing a beat, Sejoo decided to spill out his own concerns as if they were Kim Hyunkyung’s and began to let it all out.

“Your mom asked if you were studying hard. She didn’t want to ask you directly since she thought you’d get irritated and worry, so she called me separately to ask. So, I just dropped by before dinner to talk to her for a bit. She said you’re too impatient and kind of… well, not that smart, so she’s worried you might not be able to answer the questions properly. But if you study hard, she thought you might qualify for some kind of scholarship for low-income families and could even go to college. But she’s not sure if you really know what you want to do in the future, and asked if you’d ever mentioned anything to me. So I told her that… well, although I wasn’t certain, I thought Kwon Sejin was at least working hard in his own way. College, after all, is something you can decide on after you see your scores from the college entrance exam. And even if you do go to college, if you find something you’re interested in later, you can always switch majors. I told her not to worry too much.”

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Sejin squinted his eyes suspiciously as Cheon Sejoo effortlessly rattled his explanations without missing a beat. None of it felt convincing to him. When Sejoo finally stopped talking, Sejin, still unconvinced, asked him a question. 

“My mom called me… ‘not that smart’?”

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“Yes.”

That brief answer was so absurd it left Sejin speechless. 

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Who was he trying to fool? 

Setting his chopsticks down, Sejin glared at Cheon Sejoo as he retorted.

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“Don’t lie. My mom always said I’m smart, just lazy with my studies. You’re lying, aren’t you? The stuff about me not solving problems properly—it’s all things you say all the time.”

“Hey.”

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Although impressed at how quick Sejin had caught on, Cheon Sejoo remained unperturbed and let out a scoff, smirking. Coming up with something to trick Kwon Sejin was hardly difficult. All he had to do was prod his pride a bit, and Sejin would quickly lose focus and get distracted entirely.

“She’s still your mom. What mother would outright call her son dumb? You’ve got to take what mothers say with a grain of salt. You know how 90 out of 100 guys think they’re handsome? Do you want to know why? It’s because their mothers keep telling them they are. But look around. Do you see even one guy out of a hundred as handsome as me?”

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“……”

Sejin’s small face twisted in annoyance. Even though he found Cheon Sejoo’s example absurd, there was no way to dispute it either as there was some truth to it. Puffing out one cheek in dissatisfaction, he stared at Cheon Sejoo for a long time.

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Kim Hyunkyung wasn’t one to be overly concerned about Sejin’s grades. She was the type who said if you didn’t feel like studying, you didn’t have to, and what mattered more was finding something you enjoyed. So, the idea that she’d called Cheon Sejoo in to discuss about Sejin’s future plans didn’t make sense. However, if such a conversation had even happened, it was more likely Cheon Sejoo had been the one to bring it up first, rather than his mother.

Realizing this far, Sejin feel inexplicably upset, a hint of suspicion brewing within him. Looking directly at Cheon Sejoo, he lowered his voice in warning.

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“You… you’re not harboring bad intentions toward my mom, are you…?”

“…What?”

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All that tension, and this was the nonsense he came up with?

At such a ridiculous question, delivered with such a serious expression, Cheon Sejoo, completely taken aback, let out a short laugh, his mouth falling open as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. And yet, Sejin continued with his stern warning.

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“If you’re even thinking about it, dream on. My mom wouldn’t go for a thug-like guy like you, all looks and no morals.”

“What on earth are you talking about?”

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Considering there wasn’t a huge age gap between them, Sejin’s suspicion wasn’t entirely unreasonable. However, Cheon Sejoo was a born homosexual who had never been interested in women, and above all…

“Look, just the thought of having a brat like you as a stepson makes my head hurt, so quit saying creepy stuff like that. Even if someone offered me a truckload of kids like you, I’d turn them down.”

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It was exhausting enough just sharing the same house with him. The mere thought of having to raise someone as stubborn as Kwon Sejin made Cheon Sejoo shudder all over. Even if the world turned upside down and he somehow found himself in a relationship with Kim Hyunkyung, Cheon Sejoo wouldn’t marry her just to avoid having Kwon Sejin as a stepson.

Hearing this, Sejin’s pride seemed wounded as he frowned deeply. 

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Who do you think you are to reject me?

But before he could snap back, Cheon Sejoo steered the conversation in another direction.

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“Anyway, I told you my side, so now it’s your turn. What do you mean the door was open?”

“……”

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And just like that, Sejin clammed up. The serious expression he’d just had while spouting nonsense disappeared as he turned his head away, clearly indicating he had no interest in continuing the conversation. Watching him, a sense of frustration rose within Cheon Sejoo.

There was clearly something going on. When Sejin had first mentioned the door being open, Cheon Sejoo had felt an unsettling chill. 

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No, it couldn’t be…

But even as he tried to dismiss it, he pressed Sejin for an answer. 

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“What was it? When someone asks, you should respond.” 

“…It’s nothing.” 

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“Come on, I already told my side. Just tell me. Don’t make me angry.”

Cheon Sejoo felt that if the conversation ended here, he would feel unsettled and wouldn’t be able to sleep for the rest of the night. The tables had turned in an instant. Now, Cheon Sejoo was questioning Sejin, who was struggling to keep silent. However, in terms of persistence, Cheon Sejoo could be just as relentless as Sejin.

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“What door? What door was left open?”

The bathroom door? 

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The bedroom door? 

Surely it couldn’t be the bedroom door? Please.

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Cheon Sejoo hoped desperately that it wasn’t as he continued to push Sejin for an answer. In the end, Sejin couldn’t hold out against him and had no choice but to spill the truth.

“At dawn.”

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The weight of those two words brought a sudden chill, like winter settling in.

“Your bedroom door was open… and I saw it.”

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F*ck…

Cheon Sejoo’s expression hardened, turning cold. He’d hoped, prayed even, that it wasn’t true. Despite wishing it hadn’t been the case, the unsettling intuition he’d had that dawn had been right all along.

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It had all started in the bathroom. After getting up in the middle of the night to use the restroom, Cheon Sejoo had, half-asleep, returned to his bedroom, only to find Doyoon passed out on his bed. He’d instinctively pulled Doyoon into an embrace. Though deeply asleep from the early hour and still somewhat drunk, Doyoon had stirred awake from the embrace, leaning into Cheon Sejoo and kissed him in a slightly intoxicated daze.

By then, Cheon Sejoo had completely forgotten that Kwon Sejin was also in the house as he run his hand over Doyoon’s waist. As if it were the most natural thing, Cheon Sejoo held Doyoon close. But just as things had been heating up between them, a sudden draft of cold air passed through the room from somewhere. 

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Almost as if the door had been left open…

However, when Cheon Sejoo turned around feeling strange, the door was firmly shut, so he had brushed it off as his imagination. But now he understood, it really had been open.

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“That’s… what you were talking about.”

“Yeah…”

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So that’s why Sejin was so annoyed. 

Cheon Sejoo pressed his palm to his forehead, trying to mask his frown. Just last night, he’d decided there was no need to come out to Sejin. Yet now, here he was, caught in such a way the same day. Not only would it be awkward for him, he also realized this must have come as a shock for Doyoon too who’d been caught up in the moment, which left Sejoo feeling extremely flustered.

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And it surely couldn’t have been a pleasant sight for Sejin, either. It wasn’t like Sejin and Cheon Sejoo were total strangers; he’d just witnessed his own guardian having sex. And not only that, it wasn’t a heterosexual encounter but a taboo-ridden homosexual one. 

“…I’m sorry.”

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What on earth could he even say? 

After some thought, Cheon Sejoo settled on a brief apology. Sejin, pressing his lips together, gave a slight nod in acknowledgment, but said nothing.

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Cheon Sejoo bit his lip, feeling conflicted, then glanced over at Sejin. To his surprise, Sejin’s expression didn’t show a hint of disgust.

In that moment, Cheon Sejoo found himself bewildered. 

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Sejin, who spoke like someone from the Joseon dynasty, seemed like the stereotypical straight guy through and through, and had even once described the idea of men doing such things as “dirty.” Regaining his composure somehow, Cheon Sejoo rested his chin on his hand and studied Sejin’s expression.

(Joseon Dynasty): The Joseon Dynasty (1392–1897) was a conservative era in Korean history, symbolizing traditional and old-fashioned attitudes. Sejoo’s comparison to Sejin here implies he sees Sejin as embodying outdated, conservative values.

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“…….”

Sejin’s face remained blank, completely unreadable. He didn’t look like he intended to ask about Cheon Sejoo’s sexuality or his relationship with Doyoon. The calm on his face helped Cheon Sejoo feel his own unease start to settle.

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Could he actually be open-minded? This Kwon Sejin?

As he deeply thought it over, Cheon Sejoo replayed the events of that morning in his head.

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Unlike now, Sejin had shown a clear reaction earlier. Remembering how irritated Sejin had seemed in front of the elevator, Cheon Sejoo suddenly began to wonder if that annoyance was really over his sweat.

“Aren’t you bothered by this?”

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“What, that you shamelessly touch someone who was passed out drunk? Or that you had sex with a guy in a house with a minor in it? Or that you did all that with someone you’re not even close to?”

“……”

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So, he wasn’t unaffected at all—he was clearly bothered by so many things and seemed to be deciding which part to address first. The moment he posed the question, Sejin shot back with his own, and Cheon Sejoo, pressing his hand to his cheek, closed his lips in silence.

That was true; Kwon Sejin’s lack of response had been stranger, given how he usually nagged about how he should wear more clothes around the house and generally had an old-fashioned, conservative mindset. Considering Sejin’s usual behavior, it was only natural he would be upset about it all.

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“I’m sorry. I didn’t do it on purpose.”

The sound wouldn’t have reached Sejin’s room anyway, being so far from his, but it was true they lived under the same roof, so he should have been more careful. Cheon Sejoo admitted his fault without hesitation and apologized to Sejin once more.

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At this, Sejin’s face grew even more displeased. He narrowed his eyes, stretched his mouth into a pout, puffed his cheeks, and glared at Cheon Sejoo with a gaze that somehow felt as if he was wronged, before lowering his head. Since he wasn’t saying anything, it was impossible to guess what he was thinking. But his reaction was understandable enough.

Cheon Sejoo knew he couldn’t leave things like this, so he searched his memory, recalling his past experiences coming out to his male friends. Assuming Sejin would likely react similarly, as he appeared to be straight, he spoke up.

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“I’ll be more careful from now on. And while I didn’t mean to bring it up like this, I think I should make it clear. I like men.”

At the sudden confession, Sejin flinched and raised his head. His eyes widened, those clear, transparent pupils shining like glass beads. Feeling his gaze fixed on him, Cheon Sejoo added to reassure him.

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“But you don’t need to worry. You’re not my type, so you don’t have to be concerned about me liking you or anything like that.”

 

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