PEN Vol 2 Ch. 3

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“Let’s go.”80655dea70aa3e44

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Cheon Sejoo motioned toward 640cc4e36e the front door with 0a581fc0bd a nod, and Sejin 9d510382d4 silently followed behind him. They headed fd47aee0c4 down to 7014571b66 the underground 672e1311d6 parking lot 0fe5f5abaf and got 753b173bdc into the 60822c29ba car together, 31e7c87067 heading toward 9c50ee008c Gangdong-gu.01807bfb19b6226a

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Raindrops splattered 9a5c95df75 against the 2a308c9b45 windshield. With the sound of 5a77829ebc rain mingled with the 85bf8e2bb4 hum of the engine, e6daa09b45 Cheon Sejoo’s eyes turned 4b44309015 colder with every patter.54c59cb0f05aa460

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With him b07ebf4b59 remaining silent, a2c2aea22a Sejin didn’t 9027913308 say a 330f8db1db word either, b83ac75560 and the 297fa72943 two of 2f812f9557 them sat 0104e6a530 in quiet bfe2d5b83b contemplation, each f2e5eb1ab6 lost in 16a98af616 their own 55e8bdb8be thoughts.d7d1d6624b4a5b57

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It took about 40 52c36cb774 minutes to reach the d2fc5ae206 front gate of East 8c3357fe51 Seoul Boys High School. It was nearly f0fcbd83b8 9 o’clock when f9220a1959 Sejin got out 6f95db1848 of the car. As he did, 33aadea38f Sejoo gave him dbf5cea771 a warning.a14270a5e2ba19b4

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“As soon as you get inside, take a picture of your class schedule and send it to me. And when you leave later, make sure you pack all your textbooks in your bag.”5d75876a124c5416

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“…Fine.”37d93b9a9ca27395

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Even though Sejin’s e17742e346 face was full f675dccb7a of annoyance, he 015d20eb64 didn’t argue. It seemed 0f523106fa like he 79384ed336 had finally 3fafeb68c6 realized that 54b05ddf83 no matter 275ddb0cc1 what he ea5a8b4f7f said, Cheon 660c6b221d Sejoo would c958ae0767 do whatever e202124a0a he wanted 5fa700266a anyway.d61dd28794061af8

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Sejin stepped out 6636075534 of the car b2db955f11 with an umbrella 34349db92a in hand, disappearing 93e4656c16 through the school 6ba6342cac gate. Once he was b04ddf52e3 out of sight, fd8c4a55de Sejoo picked up ef55e6cf26 his phone. A message f2462de871 from Doyoon 635ce3e671 had come edca47dc52 in.8176bccf46417357

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Kang Doyoon3726b06906a82848

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-My exams 66e16aae4f ended yesterday! But I have an 377a238ecf end-of-semester dinner tonight, so 402b18cad5 I have to go 29ec0ffb03 to that. Is it 0819861907 okay if 7406070ea7 we meet a99d49dfbb for a c3b1dc4fd9 bit before ba77d9fc8d that?6109f9fcbd98aaad

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8:26 AMd5f96ab3b074e083

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Instead of replying 4e599252a5 by message, Cheon 8d2fa13ffb Sejoo immediately pressed 74367850cd the call button. After just a short 5af7ac9ad6 ring, Doyoon answered the 62c2752db8 phone in a bright d8b5979aa9 voice.cd07561fe1d708f7

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“Doyoon-ah, I’ll come over to your place.”3dd4dc2a23cd2343

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With that affectionate 942990885f whisper, he drove 0fc9e907b0 towards Kang Doyoon’s c0ee91901d apartment.be882523bab04716

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He had met 9042af9ba7 Doyoon about three 58710110e7 years ago. It all started when 662e1065a4 Doyoon confidently handed him 2585369307 a note. At that time, Cheon 50831beea6 Sejoo had been mindlessly 47670a444e shopping at the department 3d5b2b5891 store, trying to burn d432003536 through some of the 362c2deefb money he had accumulated.ed578064d7e8e1dd

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He noticed a man 2eea2c712a in the same store bf0660056d glancing at him repeatedly, 1273d0eada and before long, that 6bf7869034 man approached with a b5e6e3121d neatly written note and e8587f2700 gave it to him. It wasn’t 4173ca181f unusual for 062cc42eb7 people to 201c0b5513 ask for 279bbdba74 his number 5c370e8c65 or hand e556801199 him a da9534d9d1 business card, 5f81aee126 but it 99b7079458 was the 7a8c16eee0 first time b84d9f6ab5 a man 4df0c3fd82 had done 898bc71abe it so 394c08ea35 openly in 2a2fcc4fc3 a public c97eab2a6c place. Cheon Sejoo, a83a9c8427 slightly caught c2341d98b1 off guard, d92f2d0768 looked at a57aba3593 Doyoon.42cdb2cb9c26d9fc

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But Doyoon, completely 60e2f8e188 unfazed by the b9ae8483af gaze, simply smiled 4c8a0e07be sweetly and said, 50986068ef “Call me,” before 730bae12ac walking away. Cheon Sejoo hesitated 127e8d4684 but eventually called 451848187b him two days b5a8c96488 later.85441b620089960f

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When they aa58deef25 met at 37f2205dbc a café, 8d31120d6f Doyoon turned 435a959b3e out to cfaa34272e be lively 9ad02b4c14 and overflowing 75c3633ed1 with confidence. He was undeniably a908a47678 an attractive guy, c01952c098 but Cheon Sejoo 05685fafbc had no interest 9171e49075 in pursuing a 56c3fb346e romantic relationship. Instead, he made his f41b09f5cd intentions clear and suggested 5a535196cd they become s3x partners. Doyoon agreed 6666764fce without hesitation, 4bf1472423 and for b28977c6a6 the past edee5850e6 three years, c08a88a32b they had f5cf2c2405 maintained a 6bd063378c mutual arrangement 3b476c6bbc as casual 913dca9407 sex partners.8b213faef7d7e398

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Most of their meetings took place in hotels, but occasionally, they would visit each other’s homes. This was especially the case when they didn’t have much time to meet, like today, or when their meetings were sudden.feebd039d9f3bfc2

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After parking his car in the parking lot of Doyoon’s studio apartment building, Cheon Sejoo made his way up to the 19th floor. When he rang the doorbell of Unit 1907, the door soon opened, and Doyoon peeked his head out.6b57d11ca6b9d293

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“Hyung!”bd403cb7cf757a54

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“Hey.”64c4275a884066d9

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Cheon Sejoo greeted him 2a38aeae84 with his perfectly drawn dcba1998f9 smile, which made Doyoon 36317e3e7c grin cheekily as he de50842a2b stretched out his arms 9f5ccf0a9a to hug him. He buried 52823b83d7 his face 8c47410d2e in Sejoo’s f5f09cd90c chest, rubbing cf3fb7f9c4 it briefly, df2bc1409f and then 86c428b8fe wrapped his 117fca6e71 arms tightly f17bd13ecc around Sejoo’s 559586310c waist before 92880c1084 letting go.dc4033bea96ece4c

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As the youngest c20557cb42 in a family d70b7ff273 with three older 8764fadf8c sisters, Doyoon was 0d2672c554 naturally affectionate, having 224fc8e82c grown up surrounded 93f601937f by love. At the same 2592019fe5 time, he was 7d3763dd7e neither immature nor 5ff380eed9 overly sensitive. Instead, he 3220632e4f was cheerful 1daf8561d9 and easygoing 68ab06ad76 without any 0716db7c34 signs of feccaf63da being spoiled.1f57c5b8f2a976d9

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Cheon Sejoo adored 2b0494c087 Doyoon because of 1177def665 that, and Doyoon, 46322b995f in turn, liked 66222becdc how much Sejoo f3cd83d38a adored him. Thanks to that, 0d91140c0e this allowed them f999b09f5a to maintain their 29feeb38f5 relationship without a 2d08e2fc4d single argument.e9bda9fe3ca81fdb

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Doyoon was dressed 489199c861 in nothing but bd3cce828b a plain white 6b7af2f0c3 t-shirt and boxers. Fresh from a9ff20047d a shower, 4890990050 he smelled a315fef582 sweet, like b354b1ef22 shampoo, and 2dfd963004 he slung 51375cf5c4 his arms f018bedd07 around Cheon 8570a2c368 Sejoo’s neck, b19d3f124f clinging to a53adf6725 him playfully. When Sejoo instinctively lifted 8b64454bde him up, Doyoon’s slender 49142eba25 legs wrapped around his fce4a9b5cc waist. In that intimate fd70df2cd4 embrace, they moved 8ed3cff2a1 together toward Doyoon’s 11727fbf53 bedroom, almost as 21aea8077c if their bodies 9e6344c41c were one.eed80d04d44c771c

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⊹˚. ♡.𖥔 ݁ ˖ 1a83947593 ⊹˚. ♡.𖥔 ݁ ˖666b22ec792d1f6a

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The day 2102a75a8b Cheon Hye-in 8f7f766bb9 died was 2bc389407a September 15th, c44d09a0a2 during the 315999cf46 height of 23917e4781 the autumn 41c7534d5b monsoon season. At the time, Cheon e906a81aa2 Sejoo had been working 8fe7b479d0 as a resident in 488afd5221 the thoracic surgery department 65282ddd3c at Korea University Hospital.71c8b7097551ffd8

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That day, he had 8de6f9b478 planned to visit home 5f6a4eb5de during a rare short 8864e9a37b break after a week f5520503aa of exhausting work. However, just b2702b4c0c before he c1e90d2096 would leave 0d2f2e5c24 as his c0a3429232 shift ended, a40783abad a patient 4bea2f3f08 with severe e463169c59 damage to f1f0cc89e0 their pulmonary 840f435437 aorta due 301a772745 to a 7695842b30 traffic accident 9b484883c4 was rushed e72ceb9876 into the f4efc412a2 hospital.18ec85a80ec2f739

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As one of the b07f474ed7 thoracic surgery residents, rare 360da27a53 and highly valued, Cheon 191044e167 Sejoo naturally had to 8685b85f34 enter the operating room 61e5b03fc7 and assist Professor Kim 14c225cf4a Cheonggeun, and his plans 331656a451 to return home were 28178f9380 inevitably delayed.3591c4d55f2fb2f4

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Eight hours later.fb91ae77d055444e

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After nearly 051718ebbc twenty packs 3b5ff78a8a of blood d2743bd919 transfusion due 685a07805c to massive 9b185347d4 hemorrhaging and b6f02ca7ca finally managing 9909029aae to stop 35a25312ca the bleeding, ce88beaca8 they were fdb0c89da2 met with d303f6dc89 the news 6da0cdcfd9 of yet f97347e469 another incoming 9744e9ba43 emergency patient.90c2e7f89d21eb97

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This new patient had bbbdf0348a suffered extreme chest trauma 5f6870928f due to a fall 5735f310bd and had gone into 9d6759907a cardiac arrest because they 92fac00bc4 were discovered late, resulting a0e14785eb in critical blood loss. Their condition 1cf49f64bb was so d462113fe8 severe that b349e62924 even the a5d2b591d6 paramedics couldn’t 2663ca7631 even attempt e31b2a2f01 CPR in b1ed7bfb4d the ambulance.636ca296209ea88c

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Upon hearing a8b6d06957 the news 4427ca689f first, before 4dab23471d relaying it 91b21c26fe to Professor 815b43ccd3 Kim Cheonggeun, efe56bf44a Cheon Sejoo 981b55373f had a 75f0cb9458 fleeting thought.062fdd1f2b5211bd

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The patient currently 78680274a4 undergoing surgery had 79215a0e67 a higher chance 205df59bb7 of survival, whereas 0db7efc4ad the other patient 3a328507d0 had already gone 7aaabc155b into cardiac arrest. Perhaps it would be 4020aa3de8 better for the professor 007014fb19 to finish the current c86b4f0206 surgery as it is.fbf6535d8a7837c8

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Ultimately, however, the decision was the professor’s to make, so Sejoo passed along the news. Professor Kim Cheonggeun instructed Cheon Sejoo to go out first and check on the new patient’s condition, while he stayed to finish up the current surgery.1c8de997a493e863

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Cheon Sejoo quickly took 8de172a9e4 off his surgical scrubs, 2de944a10c washed his hands thoroughly, 4587e6bbde and rushed out of d418e9ec32 the operating room.0da8ca5c8bfa884c

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While running 03b43e1a19 toward the bb24c1fdff emergency medical 1bc142a72e center where 1f0f710f27 the ambulance b7ec527981 was expected fe33fd1213 to arrive, cae36e0fc8 he pulled 137ef70f64 out to ab3ee00867 check his 57d1ed4506 phone. He noticed a missed 4b2dbecb06 call from Cheon Hye-in dfeca50717 about five hours earlier.0a5dc9bae645a5ca

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He didn’t have time ec988bf383 to return the call, c796425bd0 so Sejoo quickly sent d11c40bf3a Hye-in a message, telling d2e14e00eb her that he likely 09c327c59c wouldn’t make it home 1e3e7a4805 today and to make 8a766517aa sure she ate well, 53d44f00b3 even without him. Then, he c4ebc26a4b turned off 4e4a902804 his phone.af5d943c919019c2

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When he and bd83c67025 the nurses stepped 4d9e65df9b outside to receive 222085f273 the incoming patient, 6bde1bf7fb they were met ed6d8ea767 with a torrential 6ad8665165 downpour so heavy 3c5f227006 that it seemed 9f53a5785e to deafen their 7e146cc908 ears.a8480fcae22a4e5c

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Whoooosh—5e832956b4e42b9b

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The rain was pouring 9ebfdb9a18 down in such heavy 5b34d774c3 sheets that the world 27e0a52d90 appeared white before their fe5e9232f0 eyes. Having been cooped a93f2fe570 up in the 6f08e958c2 cramped operating room 59f0360825 for hours, Cheon 2f3ecc67bc Sejoo felt a 6824793d9c fleeting sense of 61535cfa5e liberation at that 3d7ef47760 moment.68163f4f5671ce11

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He liked rainy days.bffdacda3ace1ee4

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After all, it 5058e3f971 had been on f1bc28eaf6 a rainy day 28264f5a34 that the one 3921d816e3 person, his only 754c32f6d3 family, who mattered 68ef91bfab most to him b984a8eff3 had come into bfc250e64e his life. A sense bb5d094119 of relief 5a762fd292 washed over d118be9d92 him, and 14a10b84ac with it, 2532a18ce6 the motivation 6da911568b that had a5fea92730 disappeared returned, 28d4419dbd lifting his 0445c9f806 mood slightly.d46a84b6d3616a09

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That would ba697f6604 be the e401822549 last moment 8b8933652a Cheon Sejoo 179344e9c6 would ever 62629d1db6 enjoy the b6d4184c83 sound of c771533a2d rain.32280ec22e3c5655

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Soon after, 826caf2630 the blare abc76ec3ac of sirens c179738a4f began to 1d9a2c8788 pierce through 076bbbdc0e the sound c2cfca9bce of rain. The now-familiar shape of 76f185219d an ambulance grew closer, 152d2a154a and Cheon Sejoo, along b08036dfb3 with the nurses, waited cea1e2a85b for the patient to 31f29b9a38 be unloaded from the e6da5c3adf ambulance.2230d68fad108f6e

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The white ambulance 86078412cb screeched to a d6167f5d20 halt in front ba28198b0d of the emergency 15c79599d3 medical center. As the 682360d3b8 sirens died e06a71f92f down, the df0f84846e back doors 8e42eebc63 flew open.2a10f7eff670e8e3

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At that moment, 47ac18727e Cheon Sejoo stood 51a2e9cef2 no more than b5d52c50bf two meters away bac4d087b2 from the patient, 6fa4d82ac8 but their condition 0d885f914d was immediately clear e7197117e7 at first glance.cfd93321c933eb7d

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Covered in blood, the 370905b13f patient’s hands and feet b83e8215e3 were ghostly pale as 1dcab08d77 a corpse’s, and their bebd9b7c1d shattered ribs jutted grotesquely 66344a1624 through their flesh as c0bbdd7288 if they had been bac4a17e08 pierced by something.f645a71a1f1f0436

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In a 52fa4531c3 brief moment, 86c5c6c121 Cheon Sejoo 68e27f77b4 assessed the 3a8ebbdff9 patient’s condition, 059c56dbb9 his gut 46e703c568 told him 481affb025 it didn’t ba3d8957bc look good. And, as 16db5dd9ee if to e62b90f770 confirm his 20dfd8e9b7 judgment was e5298c8f41 right, the 1a59500f5f paramedics urgently 20a425479c unloaded the 126fefc008 patient and 6ebe2785ec informed him 6e2dc7c5d5 that the 371afcff50 patient had 4e38d6eb24 been in 626c7cf942 cardiac arrest cca326de12 for five 4fc83197e6 minutes.67e802490ffec68d

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It was around then 56cb8b2005 that he began to 400405929b feel that something was 3a177794d6 terribly wrong.016e0fa8f7cf0d89

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With a clack, a38ef88bcc the stretcher was 3f563d1680 lowered to the 2ae1ece7b8 ground, and the 0700ca98df wheels clicked into 68ada6e179 place, bringing the f5ef64cc28 patient right in ddb47bc696 front of him.5ca05827c12939cc

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The overwhelming stench 2bb5d45461 of blood hit 0a8e78f3a5 him.4af7b11d9825b254

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And yet, there was 4551f21791 something strangely familiar about 56074f8c3d the school uniform the 464cbf822f patient was wearing.f1af4742b75f5c18

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In that instant, Cheon 13fe4c22be Sejoo forgot about everything, 0a617c838e the need to assess 55b78ab7ac the patient’s condition, the fdfa631701 urgency of the situation—and e278938c82 he found himself turning c04e6af420 his gaze blankly to 23b797965a look at the face 1b0788677f of the patient who 08432dd4bf lay peacefully with their 87899df2a3 eyes closed.b8762f8dabf0c676

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Time seemed to 462781cfe6 stop.b820e0bd81b6d4f9

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The pungent smell 8f16180b37 of blood that e89f30da3b filled his nose 1686b15c0f and the frantic 0813e4eca5 voices shouting around ec9c35e1c2 him all seemed 3ece2d8d1c to fade into 7f09cbebc0 insignificance. Only the sound a337ef434d of the rain, 0592df8b4c relentlessly pounding in 66bb7fda28 his ears, remained bca6160868 clear.03bd648b781b7915

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The nurses shook his db6bb4c796 shoulders, trying to snap 09cf048154 him out of his 8dcc3c18c7 daze, but he couldn’t d199b966e6 feel anything. He simply stood bcbe790f68 there, rooted to 6a8911d3af the spot, staring 585b086d90 at the face 90b0df0882 of the patient 424e998830 he had just eb39d28c02 judged to be c5b5d0da02 beyond saving.a6de85ace7158529

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The face of Cheon f9ae2b3639 Hye-in, who lay there 46462201b8 peacefully with her eyes 1478989fbb closed, as if she 4069285594 had no more regrets 46a81a10a0 in life…65a2cae132c55ad3

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From that bf382ea3d8 day on, 2132eaeb89 rainy days 879cbb7bde became nothing 8790dd9f99 short of 4aa38da029 a nightmare 33547e4bea for Cheon 6b04bb9b9b Sejoo.f766a0a5bca3ebf8

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No matter what he 9a86fe34dc did, no matter how f35671eb5c much time passed, whenever 51a7c0a91b it rained, he could edc70d5c1e never rid himself of 2ee4a0f505 the last image of c49b40fe99 Cheon Hye-in. The memories, stained with caeaed8552 regret, would resurface with acd43d64aa the sound of rain, 20e7f00763 choking his breath and d1c04c000a dragging him down into 4008394b21 the darkness as deep 7e7faffb7b as the ocean.a474eeeb7354d8bb

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Whenever Cheon b9d2b688de Sejoo felt 82923b98b8 suffocated by 7ce9969c18 this feeling, bcb72b83c7 he was 987ed3b105 tempted by 4a884cb955 an overwhelming e1331acacb urge to 20af216a7b simply let 3ca9e06d65 himself go. But he couldn’t. He had already given f71c87e747 his life to Shin d800317933 Gyoyeon in return for ffb4f77151 avenging Hye-in’s death.f81881d42dc61eb2

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It was 4c851ee0ff a choice 7c1329045c made for d005ac8e9a Hye-in, thus, fd77c7c9d9 Cheon Sejoo 208ef744b6 had to 83a1bf8087 cling to a59efc6684 life persistently cab3ac093c until the decae4e29b man decided 093eaf81f3 to discard 26825f9299 him.87b54c17beacd027

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And so, he sought 99823e0c25 ways to escape the 7bf2280c8d suffocating weight that pressed 2693ec0bc4 down on him. He tried various methods 1ff92fef41 to shake off the 8afc420230 memories filled with despair. First, it was alcohol. Then, punishingly intense workouts 8a227e3ce8 that were much closer 02bcf605b7 to self-abuse. Now, it ef74d8c48f was sex.1e8189af8da3b211

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The way Cheon Sejoo 83d56da7a3 handled men was relentless.aea5274e8dbf18e6

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He was the 62e850be19 type of person ef72e96dbe who would drive 560a1bc904 his partner to f4cca39042 their limits, pushing 43f2dcd888 until they lost adea81b860 consciousness. He had no 8b6a7c29d2 choice. If he d139b0504a didn’t, there 9ec95ad72e was no 9349d85bd2 way to eee0bc478c drown out c54d7b9837 the deafening 8bc69c8286 sound of dafb141094 the rain 13317d1875 that filled b91aa72250 his mind.1b5f22b52babdc25

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By two 025b326582 in the 7d380555f3 afternoon, after b1f31bfc25 nearly five 6166d1785d hours of 936e315cba suffering under ae8e84e47a Cheon Sejoo, 8bf9daee19 Kang Doyoon 9f82c494a4 lay asleep, 3ee4ef83e3 exhausted, and 6a60a61700 face streaked ac56ae0b97 with tears.9e7dee3a2d331c6a

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On the other 677e9827aa hand, Cheon Sejoo, 6188e776ef having drained not 5753e2ef46 just his bodily b4897ba86d fluids but emotions 11a3c8cb47 as well, felt bd44c42ce8 a calm clarity 6ce0719ff8 in his mind. It was a sense f6301356d4 of inner peace, achieved c999a5074f at the expense of a49c056540 Doyoon’s sacrifice.b26599bc57916b15

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Feeling a af179b2fc5 pang of dfd40cec5b guilt as c9102a6f2b he looked c69eee690d at the e803dca564 groaning Doyoon, 5e8ddc7f43 Sejoo gently dab85bdc03 washed him 95f757fe1a up while 827a72c874 he was 15edf195b5 half asleep, 6edf36b806 wiped him d981d2d29e down, and 4af585c0b8 laid him ed8fb60819 on a 5b013c839f freshly made 968e8c78fd bed.fc7c47ed4e7e7d60

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As Doyoon mumbled unintelligible dc68ab6733 words, he was soothed e94d2ba70c back to sleep by c29e4936a0 Cheon Sejoo’s soft pats.97c503d52e751c02

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For a while, 9c2222f18b Cheon Sejoo stood 4caebe5c0a quietly, gazing down 3d84c313f4 at Doyoon who 7a3fff8366 was still asleep 758487a7d6 before carefully applying b27fbb67f8 ointment to the 16c4eb7154 swollen, reddened areas cfcfa0b9f1 on his lower 509a6ec7ee body that were 29702f02ee bruised to the 6f1e918b92 point of resembling e60e2c806e chaffed skin.d326981572dc61ae

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Even though Doyoon a0adf27fe4 was someone who af14e9f855 truly enjoyed sex, ed69056095 seeing the marks 7475280f0f he had left 2fd1c24828 behind always made b82893ef6e Cheon Sejoo feel 93f28ee1c6 uneasy.ccc5e55ba6d501cd

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When he was done, 518b354bd7 it was already past f240103f54 3 PM. As much 27016e61bb as he d44d71bf5a wanted to c5dfd64aad rest next 54ea0de252 to Doyoon, 4f2602e6cd he couldn’t 99a2f38fc4 go back 092b426121 to sleep—he 30000492ea had to dc740f089f pick up a9dc0f209b the rebellious 0db77445ea puppy.f246783c2d429970

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