OMLM | Chapter 6

Kang Yebon spoke without looking at Jung Woochan.

“Why did you come today? Did you come because you thought I might say something weird?”

His tone and atmosphere were prickly with thorns. Despite this, he couldn’t meet Jung Woochan’s eyes, his crouched figure looking pitiful.

Jung Woochan exhaled a long breath and approached Kang Yebon.

“No way. I know better than anyone that you wouldn’t do that.”

“Don’t lie. Then there was no need to make time to come here. How much of a lowlife am I to you now?”

Kang Yebon roughly brushed away the hand that naturally came up to cup his cheek.

With his face flushed from holding back tears, he looked up at Jung Woochan with eyes full of deep, bitter resentment.

Jung Woochan, seeing Kang Yebon’s usually composed face now looking so wretched, bit his lower lip in discomfort.

“Yebon, I’m not the great person you think I am. You know how much effort it took for me to come here. You’ve been watching me all this time. I’m scared. I’m afraid of losing everything I’ve achieved.”

And since I won’t have time for you in the future, because my capacity is only this much, I thought it better to clear things up before causing more hurt.

That’s why I took the time to come here today…

“I’m really sorry about what happened that day. I didn’t come here because I thought you might say something strange to your mom. Really.”

You know me, right? Jung Woochan drooped his eyebrows, looking genuinely aggrieved, leaving Kang Yebon speechless.

Was he being too hasty? The sharp atmosphere had calmed down, but the sadness hadn’t disappeared.

“…But is the real reason we broke up because our relationship might tarnish your reputation? Is that all?”

“Tarnish my reputation? Why would you say that? Once you’re out in society, you’ll understand how I feel. Why are you trying to make me look like a bad person?”

In the end, there was no denial. Kang Yebon felt a chilling emotion settling in him, beyond just sadness.

“Couldn’t we just be more careful than before if that’s the concern? Why am I never in your thoughts? Why do you only think about yourself? You could have talked to me first.”

Jung Woochan’s face instantly turned cold, making Kang Yebon’s heart sink.

“Kang Yebon.”

“…”

“Have you really listened to what I’ve been saying? I’m doing this for you. Why are you only thinking about yourself? I’ve thought a lot about this decision. Ending it here seems best for both of us. Do you know how hard it was for me?”

And why haven’t you apologized for what happened that day? Doing that outside, in front of others, was that sane behavior?

“Do you know how much I’ve worried about who might have seen us after that?”

You knew how much I care about these things, yet you did it.

“If you hadn’t done that, I wouldn’t have had to resort to violence. How long do I have to keep soothing you?”

Throughout Jung Woochan’s words, Kang Yebon curled up more and more like a criminal.

Every cold, precise word seemed right, yet the more Kang Yebon listened, the more he wanted to hit Jung Woochan.

As Kang Yebon lowered his head, trembling only in his body, Jung Woochan sighed, pressing his forehead.

“Ha, I didn’t come here to be angry at you. Yebon, why do you keep making the situation worse lately? Stop making me the bad guy. We’re not at an age where we can’t understand each other. I want to end this on good terms, why don’t you get that?”

His gums clenched until they hurt.

Was he really to blame for all this? Was he ruining things that could have ended nicely?

Kang Yebon wanted to argue, but no words came to mind.

“…We’re not getting through today. Your mom’s worried, so pull yourself together and come back soon.”

Without looking back, Jung Woochan left the alley.

Kang Yebon couldn’t understand the sharp, violent emotions enveloping his entire body.

All he could do was take slow, deep breaths to calm the threatening turmoil within.

One thing Kang Yebon was sure of:

His relationship with Jung Woochan was irreparably broken.

Cha Hyuk was strange.

He acted like he’d spread rumors about Kang Yebon being gay if he didn’t sit next to him during general education, yet on Wednesdays, he didn’t care where Kang Yebon sat in the lecture.

He didn’t even talk to him, just a slight greeting when entering the room.

Not knowing what Cha Hyuk was thinking, Kang Yebon ended up circling around him.

Now on the fourth week, Kang Yebon took a seat where he could see Cha Hyuk just by turning his head slightly.

Cha Hyuk showed him his palm. Since last week, he hadn’t even waved.

Kang Yebon was furious every week because of this lecture, having to write reports he wouldn’t normally need to. With the lingering effects of the breakup and the betrayal by someone he trusted, every day was tough, and the reports only made Cha Hyuk more irritating.

When Kang Yebon glared at him without returning the greeting, Cha Hyuk furrowed his brows, then tilted his head.

The faint smile that always seemed to linger when looking at Kang Yebon was completely gone.

‘I’ve screwed up.’

Kang Yebon only then realized how rude his behavior was towards someone like Cha Hyuk, but it was too late.

In the silent classroom, the sound of a chair scraping back was loud and clear.

Shivering, Kang Yebon glanced to the side to see Cha Hyuk approaching.

Please, don’t sit next to me. Let it be just an ambiguous direction, passing by…

Kang Yebon wished and wished, but Cha Hyuk sat down right next to him without hesitation.

Kang Yebon’s heart sank.

As he was trembling, looking at the light beige table, a rough hand suddenly appeared over it, making Kang Yebon jump.

“Are you sick?”

If he said no, did that mean Cha Hyuk would make him hurt somewhere? Then maybe it was better to say yes.

‘Why is he suddenly asking if I’m sick?’

Kang Yebon couldn’t answer easily and turned his head to look at Cha Hyuk, stuttering.

“Why did you come over here?”

Cha Hyuk then smiled faintly, resting his chin on one hand.

“You had the face of someone who wanted me to sit next to you.”

Completely unexpected, Kang Yebon relaxed from the tension. It didn’t seem like he was there to threaten him.

“…When did I make that face?”

Kang Yebon loosened his grip on his tightly clenched fist and placed the notebook and pencil case he had started to take out back on the table.

Cha Hyuk reached out to take a three-color pen from the pencil case.

‘What, did he just come to borrow a pen?’

As Kang Yebon watched, Cha Hyuk began to write something in the corner of his textbook.

Kang Yebon couldn’t make out what he was writing, whether it was even in Korean.

Curious, Kang Yebon subtly moved his face around, but Cha Hyuk’s large hand blocked his view.

Soon after, Cha Hyuk finished writing and held out the corner of his textbook towards Kang Yebon.

Instead of words, there was a drawing on the blank space. It was so crudely drawn that even an elementary school child could do better.

Kang Yebon frowned and leaned down to look at the drawing.

‘A clown… shedding blood tears…?’

The drawing was oddly eerie.

“…What is this?”

“It’s you.”

Kang Yebon felt goosebumps rise from his neck to his spine.

This grotesque thing is me…? This, with red paint where the eyes should be…?

“Your eyes say you want to be friends with me. I’m not someone to be taken lightly.”

The chilling voice from last time when he had brazenly stared at Cha Hyuk rang in his ears.

Kang Yebon, touching below his eyes with one hand, leaned back to distance himself from Cha Hyuk.

“…Is this a threat to gouge out my eyes?”

“What?”

Cha Hyuk tilted his head as if to say what nonsense was he spouting, then seemed to realize something and pointed at the red mark.

“It’s tears. The blue ink wasn’t coming out.”

Only then did Kang Yebon realize which three-color pen Cha Hyuk had taken. It was one with a blue ink refill he kept putting off because he rarely used it.

Now that he heard Cha Hyuk’s explanation, it clearly looked like a face crying.

‘Who paints tears red because there’s no blue ink?’

Kang Yebon wondered if Cha Hyuk was lying to comfort him, then doubted if anyone would lie about something so trivial, nodding uncertainly.

“So, why did you really come here?”

“Because you keep looking at me like this every time you come to the lecture.”

Cha Hyuk pointed to his drawing again, and Kang Yebon, with a puzzled look, couldn’t continue the conversation as the professor entered.

But he hadn’t made a crying face; he had glared…

Kang Yebon, during the boring parts of the lecture as per its title, secretly stole glances at Cha Hyuk sitting next to him.

Surprisingly, Cha Hyuk seemed to be listening attentively. There were scribbles in his textbook, likely notes from the lecture.

And surprisingly, he didn’t once touch or speak to Kang Yebon.

‘He looks like a thug no matter how you see it.’

It didn’t seem like he was just there for the class. Kang Yebon wondered if he was too prejudiced based on appearance.

When he thought about it, he knew nothing concrete about Cha Hyuk. Not even his age was certain; all he knew was his name and that he was in the psychology department.

Sometimes the atmosphere was tense, but he never actually swore or got violent.

Perhaps Cha Hyuk wasn’t as scary as he seemed. Maybe he was just a normal person who entered university late, only his appearance was rough.

‘That scar on his eyebrow might have a trivial reason too.’

Kang Yebon stared at the thin, long scar at the end of Cha Hyuk’s thick eyebrows.

It looked like an old scar, making it impossible to guess what had caused the flesh to tear. He could only assume it must have hurt a lot back then.

‘I want to touch it once.’

Just as this thought came to him while looking at the bumpy new skin of the scar, Kang Yebon felt a strange pull and looked down.

He met deep, dark eyes.

Feeling like he’d been caught doing something wrong, Kang Yebon quickly turned his face towards the podium.

His heart was pounding. Only then did he realize how blatantly he had been staring.

With his peripheral vision, he saw Cha Hyuk bending down, writing something. Contrary to what he thought, a faint sound of paper tearing came instead of note-taking.

A piece of paper with a slightly torn corner was held out in front of him.

[Do you want to eat cake?]