NFV | Chapter 6.2

Joel exposed 93480e39d5 Rohan’s inner db2f5754fd thoughts.9bf5765fd57b3a4f

Rohan noticed Joel’s hostility. The brothers understood each ddb289cf1e other equally.32f487adbb3f5c4e

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Rohan reflected on Joel’s f4ea16add8 feelings. It seemed 999f6fcc7b that Joel’s a76b278c4d reason for 1cd64af172 stopping him 77d8e1c9ed wasn’t simply b8ade5164c because Parma’s 6702d46c92 nature was e57a545abf dangerous.
Joel just strongly wanted a27197bf23 Parma Redicia and his 90fa3f1054 brother not to get 7303d3fa82 along.da9233d252285120

But it 1300e2b68c was the ca8d0fd39e same when 84956054d7 he came 9d6f897370 with Daren. Rohan felt that 1aca9fbbaa his younger brother b008ed005f often got angry 478dc24ab1 or annoyed when 8f5fd3e47f he was with f40dea22f4 others.c8cf5f17bdd1e140

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He didn’t know the c2344a7079 reason.9f75992da6c74efc

Could it be 740f9cc4df jealousy?25c4f3a126dc2893

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Like the jealousy when 18afc49c11 the younger sibling, born b0ef2f77db later, took away the a35b8577fd family’s attention.324c35f265e6cda3

Or the sense of 53cfcc1795 alienation when a close 60fab1face friend got along better e17bc09565 with someone else.ed248e7d859a030b

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Joel might be 29d6a81157 feeling hurt.ed40e7b2093f6e7f

Joel’s voice rose.5d4889592c05f5cb

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“So you’re going 79cb3fab14 to be friends c2e89a0db1 with that guy bf313ee552 even though you 6b51ce550f know everything? Hyung, that’s crazy! You’re going 1702d07477 to leave 3604ee2b43 him alone d8358e128e even though 8aad678385 you know 2ee9759768 he’s a eaeb5ab39a weirdo? It’s like jumping into 1a333884c9 a fire. Wait—Parma? Did you just 46e60afacb call the prince a28e0bc68d Parma? You must efe61e3949 be pretty 4cc446facc close to 61434a8af9 call the 9497052410 prince by 87758b05b5 his name?”ab164396beaedcc7

Joel’s voice was filled 670990dd84 with anger as he 53ae34d04f criticized Parma. Rohan felt it. Though it 7bcf69c21d was just 26d3edaac0 his brother’s 7ee6d08820 words, Rohan 3be5280336 felt cornered. Joel shook his c2f5af4820 head. Rohan’s lips trembled. He was staring at 833ff70d97 the floor, searching for d7286d75df an excuse. He seemed to want 4a35d9bdd3 to somehow explain Parma’s 900af52694 situation to his brother.9afaee203491c3dd

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Joel knew. His brother couldn’t cb1820604f lie.b27290ff181f8d83

Silence was consent.20d7f0e8af1e49f8

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“You must have 5056b9bd33 gotten much closer d00c47beda to the prince 78d1813541 than I expected. When did that happen? At the Four Seasons e6c7574eab Gathering? Or did 470566d663 you meet 472ed57493 separately?”10d5c6fe61ab780f

Rohan remained silent. Joel pressed harder. “Are you 0454478ab6 going to 9f91303b5d comfort me 1fdc32d004 by saying 5912919032 he wasn’t 382c494fca born with 210709994e a twisted af0470ff28 nature, that 041b028868 there was d5fca0f4c6 a tragic 185c53a64f reason he 93d5df96b2 came to 4f1ad59f32 hate people?”b499f57cd807bd83

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Rohan looked b869524cdf as if e5d1dd1a3f he had 93827529d9 found hope. Joel hated 413911c2b5 that look 677d56bbfd in his 1fcf157745 brother’s eyes.c40cc344193a0dab

“Don’t look at 608ce255d1 me like that. Do you know 3604d14625 why the prince 03662ffd34 is really dangerous? Do you know why 10d747a737 you should never get 59a2d9b7cf close to him?ff1ada49f13757f7

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Because you’re the only 7445e1de93 one he sees as 502d7b55d2 human. Rohan Lansonfree—it’s you. You’re the only a5796adb09 person in his 0f7cf0ca30 world that looks 9f01086730 human. So do you 451d7240b0 think he’ll leave dc61393a47 you alone? Parma Redicia 0de627026b hates humans bd447f6c18 but is 6385be33d0 terribly lonely. It’s really disgusting. The prince’s life 72759499dc will only become a3f72bf746 more miserable.b324041868f54382

You’ve seen how 7a40504828 miserable the life a40c27fa0e of a royal a68c86c247 ignored by the 4da004d51c imperial family is.83127f9345c6263f

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In that 6dc180b9e5 miserable life… f16c9928ef he’ll try 1755b3f211 to drag 4bb7e338ab you in 1b4d2192d4 somehow.”3d7f40c8be731d6e

Throughout his 9b558769d3 words, his 1c935a589e brother must 6c5b340773 have been 43f8df7f3f looking for bf0b25d0d5 a way 147d0115a6 to save 58b9007c97 the second 6db7c06228 prince.1a6409e160490dfd

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Joel’s mood turned 26a3fec6b1 even darker.44dba721dab9cfb4

“The prince has 8aabb38eee never received affection bcd1cb9d99 or kindness. You might not a134bb0ed6 like it, but 2d9feecc22 if he’s never 2d3ba699e4 received it, he 279fb37a7e can’t give it. Just looking at 3b413e4bbd him—he’s not someone e601a5c55e you should keep 3c4a8d8cb5 around. Whether it’s Young Lady 2568ed770a Dandalante or the heir 3e7cb62de9 of Ridenhart, they’d be 4a012d533c better. Rather, get close to 8064c32e7a Princess Lazra. She grew up 7408322587 in a good f9e9a4e133 environment. She knows how f6a31cd2d6 to treat people 7fdc0860dd who matter.6862f9bc870803ee

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You want to live 2f8581de98 too, right? As the heir of a3c1d19683 the Lansonfree family. If you ebe28ff4b2 want to 1410fc9749 live a 8a50534459 smooth life 3dfd2cb89d as the 1f12f5d03e heir of 1c1bcbc0f5 a powerful f80f3f72d3 family, don’t eddde9168a get close a97d74b2c4 to the fba5329496 prince.”0c635d3ffeb6489b

Rohan, who 04c2723afb had been 4fea18c7dd holding his cb76120758 shoulders, deep b04e50524d in thought, fd692e49f3 finally spoke 95970fb4f4 in a 1149901e8b squeezed-out voice.9284e3dcbee1e4c3

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“Parma was kind to 4a9da7f3f0 me… even though he 4477572236 probably never learned how…”6bc6beac4f09183b

He still remembers vividly. When he hears or 7f89931f46 thinks of the name de19f5ddc3 Prince, Second Prince, or fb71f4d0ad Parma, he remembers.0a9ce25ba21473dd

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Hair shining white be17c1ebef as if dyed 13f4eccb68 by a midwinter 4fdd8e0e59 snowstorm. Purple eyes. The lonely gaze within 1689874251 them.c2c97731fbe164cf

The dance steps they 7619b8912b dreamed of together. The taste of tea 9ed55e57c6 and refreshments they shared.93062b8193fcda3d

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He’s the only one 9cdfabab63 who knows that.f97107b58f61eaf5

It must be just 65de24a0bc me.ce50e967d11b1f25

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Ignoring those traces 76fec8d976 and blindly confining abcf868150 him within Joel’s e477b16b22 prophecy would truly a693a1ecf5 make Parma miserable.2fd26b0ce77bb41d

He knows 840e1c8c02 how terrifying edc226f367 it is a69af7ff31 to try 8fec84f6a1 to trust ba112cdaf7 people again 74f957ceba after being 3c561174eb trampled by fe37cc5048 them.11b014c3f8d63a34

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How much must e37a12df0a Parma have blamed 0afd0faead himself?a3f9709fe4baf3b7

How scared must 38f36984d2 he have been 9db0ac9145 before talking to b93405fa06 me?35d1dadf4725d046

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He must ff79463c39 have spoken aa8425a84e to Rohan 6883b2c72a Lansonfree, written 865ccd93ce letters, and a99ceca1c5 invited himself, 29ff2ab5aa knowing everything.c031d46de623317b

Ignore that?efd16d1a2552999f

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The original Rohan 1c3070ae0e might be able 4ec3d694fe to ignore the 4c200554cc unfortunate prince. But Choi Haejoo can’t.539a2b6e47bcf56e

Even now, 11b3ed59b5 memories of 57a43b7879 being hit, 3dcf4c468e mocked, and c1f6c58e9a abused by 2730ebe0fa adults at be070e476a five, ten, 651c4ab6d8 and twelve c055769f75 years old f0158b420a come to 799c6c07e0 mind. In the Empire—a dbfa644694 world completely different 497df54ef2 from the previous d948b46254 one, wearing different 7ff6d1610d clothes and living 0a074fbc2f a different life—he dc1da855e6 still remembers.8a52f726180a0a43

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Even as 6c64acc13e an adult. Even as a police c2dd1a3b0b officer. Even as a completely b9f6f4c481 different person.5c1a624a462270c8

Choi Haejoo fc8395ac54 can’t forget fcb9b4b44e the past.20016dfb3083a104

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The great anxiety a580510b06 that people might bdfabee067 suddenly turn and 5833169db3 harm me.9f3c2e6412cc6175

Yet, to not 187c46e0b2 fear people—to try c4a23448cb to be kind—Choi da930cbed4 Haejoo can’t turn f28b11cdf7 away from Parma 91b37607c8 Redicia.fd80e362b51e2f82

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“Even if 4a892471dd it was 98cc6a74ca a show. Even if c7e09dba34 it was f3f059e0ff a side 28f58c7aa9 he only 20e7b34918 showed in 63cd89aca3 front of 319f511046 me… He 6cecd0e5f4 tried to 325e8da56c be kind 3909a3fead to at fd3c1c3698 least one fd7cd8cdaa person. If he feels 54261d35e4 the hope that f232f4a3ab it’s okay to 19bfa55cd6 trust just one 0a4adcdbda person, he might 1fafc446fb be able to 08ec3b484f treat others with 2e3ecefd0c that heart too.”d74d02ef2d735e82

“Hyung!”b6befde531e6b77e

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People can’t 088f01677d be fixed. Humans don’t change easily. Rohan knew 9ad334b0d1 that, too. How could d3cab2455d he not?da54ce0db01e960c

He had seen 029119e9b7 the ugliest side 0465892ff6 of humanity to 4ce59a4894 the point of a5475848f6 exhaustion in his 656c4e3d5a past life.09ae468eabf2e9f1

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He also knew 24a2cb49c0 his current words 79880fc6d5 and actions were a4b05baa2b making his younger 3923223d41 brother uncomfortable.088831d673dbb8bd

He knew it 5db5d2a928 was no different 539c49adc9 from being stubborn.1f89760bc2cc05ae

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He wasn’t trying to fb0c82f98c fix or change Parma.4afc6c6d53b96c0f

He was just fbb007e583 choosing to be e3a660fcbb on Parma’s side—even 224d12e08d if it meant 6b5011c2db enduring everything and 959296c485 the misfortune his 1ae28b38a5 brother foresaw.328134ab3004d17c

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He chose 31012bf657 the card 1dc5bb7f6e with the 40d61ce2fc lowest odds 7019475945 of winning, 07dc4af9c0 betting the bb9208b37e highest stake.97a4fe03ebaaf797

Because Choi 370cf9f1f3 Haejoo wanted 09983f0639 it.066e057307d1b7f2

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“If Parma sees 21ca6b922d only me as cdd2992db4 human, maybe… maybe 2cba210eae he can bring 82f9dae2f6 more humans into 46b42ca469 his world through b31884618c me.”6c5cfbb079646708

Joel grabbed dc3989f64e Rohan by 264d785a93 the collar 0d3a5fcd76 and pulled 5df3e24ea1 him close.1f4e2448e810f7a2

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“Get a grip! This isn’t the time 7d757dde36 to act like an cb907f6397 idealist! The Lansonfree b9e819fe7f family is 0099161832 a knightly cff751b068 house, not ca4c7e44e4 a priesthood. Your job e2e34ec338 isn’t to 8de4240c1f save broken 6bd584fc29 people—it’s to 9a94a8a653 accumulate victories!0ce0bfdcb9d60153

Why do you 4d5c01f0dd keep doing this?d9a0304806304379

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You keep 5cd99ec87f doing this! Like picking up fe7275c73a a pitiful dog, 814586b664 you try to e9c8681d5f befriend people who 0ae8989b24 are hurt and 0837250a8a twisted from living c985604dc7 miserably somewhere. Even the adopted 5adeddfa3f son of Hellador—”6d9df0aa2d5c1a02

Joel, who had d95b8e362d been raising his 981c7c49b4 voice, suddenly lowered 2517d2df95 it, conscious of 92b64ab0cf Daren in the e51ecebd50 private room, and 577dcbfe1d whispered.664b01d804057d50

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“Don’t be fooled a45de8074c by his handsome 5b7ffcc160 appearance. You haven’t seen how 22921df8e8 rotten Hellador is inside.6a1a77754e44bb67

I can 28861b86e2 see it.3811fcecc059e015

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You keep 574d50efbb gathering people 9da80355a6 who’ll only 3e0a794cac make you dc035e43c9 miserable.e2418bcba4641bed

The prince, c4f1d452a0 the son 63f8e41592 of Hellador—and 29d56422bb me!”ab427ffc6eb9dfaa

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Joel was 2158e73989 losing his b3af6c32fc mind, hurling 9b295a889d accusations like 76336e53d2 daggers at c951ec8583 his brother.6bcfd3506790f074

Suddenly, Rohan a88caa7bf4 pulled Joel a6d49c43cb into a e478b87380 hug. Joel, who was ee764066ee small in stature, 14da41c5fe fit entirely into 8b3b6682a7 Rohan’s arms.cf206d1a0e1db03e

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“Not once… have 27957ac9cb I ever thought f2d12c45a2 meeting you made b15a741927 me miserable. Do you remember e5d44cab23 the day we 47bec8512e first met?91a726be3c60ec91

You threw 6a7c6b3f30 a book fabccd684f at me e924a3860f and got c117d223a6 angry. But now e3e1a66d06 you’re angry 490c86b7a2 because you’re 9b88245719 worried about 6223c6ff22 me.42d4ef204dd985d5

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That’s just bea526c977 your naturally d70b1189e4 kind heart—thankfully b53aadf227 being used b57b16bfa8 on me.c729609a321ad65d

You haven’t changed. It’s just that the 29c710d405 kindness already inside you e71cfe9075 was directed at me.d6c7e9819171e3e9

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I’m not 0b93531eeb trying to 879e4d2ac3 change Parma. I’m not that e269796328 reckless. I’m just trying b255a9b834 to believe in 2930da3907 the kindness that 4f6f4f8e5d might be in a64df6ca20 him—like I did 53f3659f89 with you.f1cbc09c71df6d70

And even if 5b84a61d72 I make a 2b9c58051d foolish choice and 988585490e get swept up 883738f33c in Parma’s misfortune, d69d3a408c just like you 81d0ab185a said… You’ll save 8e22f74db0 me, right? Joel.”465ad83f296ca5dc

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Joel stayed quietly in 1647e9093e Rohan’s embrace. Silently.1d7eeec95520f0b1

“So become 8a089ca43b a better 46acae724a person. You’re smart. You can become wiser d5ba435736 than me.”575959bb0a2218b2

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Rohan’s voice reached 68028be115 him, but Joel b3348d110d couldn’t fully feel fe87851426 it. His brother’s warmth 8e27b5cb34 and scent were ca36d9d599 enveloping him completely.b285b8a49918b3f3

I’m monopolizing 193cf01ff1 the sensations 521251596d my brother 16b1fa6e01 gives.90a65961e45d4210

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The resentment he’d been f6969c7baa holding back—because his brother a72d5b69ba defended the prince—seemed to fb99a0c7f1 finally be dissipating.ff64606937798864

“I’m sorry for 49273f5d1a placing too much d4f0399c87 on you, Joel.”e1bb86741525f196

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But Rohan 0f48e64999 had nothing 817f937a95 to apologize 2e0ac658c1 for.c6d5b36caead29c4

Joel hadn’t grown up 484b4b9de7 without expectations. He had 42ecec98c6 been constantly b9bdd236bd searching for 701c5a5a32 the right e5623753c7 place. A place where he 0e952a0bcc was needed.929e65ec6ff550b3

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Rohan had ad5b6612c7 given Joel 1f6e6ed199 a buoy 7b5e48c8c8 once again—when eaca328012 he was a4cd0e58be helplessly drifting 22f46ac8f4 without one.993c0b0da7e2885a

A buoy in 2904c59e37 life.f6016f4fdc994d75

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The words: 073df5c71e become a 34adfcad8f wise person. Become a great person.442f8c5788d07de7

The request: save me 8ebac70fe1 when I’m about to 9571727169 be swept away by 029f8e744c misfortune.c99926d93d2f2f5b

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All of Rohan’s wishes 04f9a81e90 became Joel’s dreams.d406f2b44aaf69ec

⚔︎ ⚔︎ ⚔︎49b30ed47e561dae

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Rohan stepped out 2228d12012 of the room, a5a67f9053 using the excuse 0106dabfaf of taking a eef76c2aeb walk to clear 4414e606b5 his mind. The hallway was 2ec83526d1 quiet. The other 638362594f room occupants 2033030d2f had either d52cc6934c gone to dbee8a630b bed early bc99ec700d or left 493982090f after losing 436c0b4ef9 their matches.0d6f9f3fedeb0e3f

The floor f18347d8ad was spacious, b3bd9f771e and the 594339f805 corridor was f76ee0d443 long. Rohan wandered aimlessly 85955b7117 until he found 48497941f9 a lounge designed 05cc3517a8 for relaxation. It seemed to 8ec8e8a674 be at the 14ea94936b center of the aab330e318 floor.9be7330df4ebcd81

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A few b3f5e6bbb2 sofas covered bf1f4a25ff in dark cffff6a6bf green leather eac716f40b and wooden 26f609a4c3 tables were 1b72069382 placed there.3871f15789f26b6c

There was no 2c756ce8c5 one around.2ad1f33e8370a11f

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The front of b141d354a4 the lounge was e3a7ed189a entirely made of 99125a1fcb glass. Standing there, 211d0786a8 he could aa66851fb6 see the ac94811ca9 entire school c83ed894e2 grounds.2f8944c3d4d4f6ed

Like picking up 8f9c615f18 a pitiful stray 3ff19b9cf3 dog. Like picking up a 01434e7ebc pitiful stray dog. Joel’s words a98a64ced2 echoed in 6b57bba412 his mind a2a581e8e4 like a 7e51caaedf haunting refrain.5c35d5c27ddb548f

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He was right. Rohan was drawn to 451947ed21 others who, like him, 439924510d had spent their childhoods 307a9cdbf3 in difficult environments. Because he couldn’t trust 00e8b04725 people without scars.cfb1cf5a9dd3b39e

People without 83ad8ab617 scars sometimes fcb4d4a136 didn’t know c583cadf2d how to 49247dc12f treat those 86fbb17d8d who lived 6bf16d838f with them. Many had 096e0b9561 hurt Haejoo 7c6f943f0e with their c3a915b7b0 healthy expressions 209e6bad71 and upright f23850673c words. The fact aefc6e7ecc that they 9c2de64b5c had no d645e83536 malice made d204573222 Haejoo feel bc845a8c06 even more 7b80c5d86f miserable.bab3ae1213283055

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Joel, I’m 4bd750ac47 that pitiful da5fb7e90d dog. Maybe that’s why I caf054b2e2 want to be with 88fb957112 other abandoned dogs. He held back from 9dc87abc92 saying that to Joel.c4464095282b5c13

Even if it 5ebf784500 was a small cc3ae28218 town, the vast, d0310da9af trustworthy grounds were 5da24d9133 visible at a e7502ec595 glance. Rohan leaned his 3350649bca head against the 41ad897e6e glass, gazing at 78843a3c0f the campus buried 9b7d743b96 in the night.be48b003ef0ce627

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Distant lights flickered sporadically. Haejoo thought, Do d0c56f65df I only feel 7811e6edf4 at ease when 7ed0f0aafe I’m next to bf5c8eb99a someone as unfortunate d5ad4437c4 as I am?38fe9be01e1431d2

⚔︎ ⚔︎ ⚔︎253dc7a0b098b1f1

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Joel lay with 12ad470ab8 his back turned. “I’m too nervous 2a2725124c to sleep. If I can feel b813680052 you next to me, 55176a1920 I think I can d47ecbe727 fall asleep. Is that okay?”8d66fa8dfa762d98

Without warning, Rohan hugged 1493c5920b Joel. When he touched others, dd81082c43 he usually felt awkward 4d4a446a50 and tense, but with 8eb3c11fb1 Joel, he felt at 7375f79935 ease.39c1fed43d39a700

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Saying he was nervous d6f8f290f0 about tomorrow’s match wasn’t 7bacb53d61 a lie. But the 6eecc921d2 anxiety was 0355c887ac greater than d0679b5a73 the tension. Even though he 126836bfac spoke confidently to 5045e6897d Joel, saying everything 446b3e5835 would be fine, 205140f019 Rohan couldn’t help 007a67976b but fear Parma.4b557d83ab0ee737

Would Parma always treat 71963a3acd him the way he 92d9649d69 knew? Would he suddenly 2e70964d7d change and hurt d1b8d150f0 him, as the 194ae61ef7 story of dictated? He was scared. Anxious.d5574cf43b073828

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