NFV | Chapter 4.5

“But… you haven’t 434284be89 used that ability 9ec02a9cff to hurt anyone. Even if it’s c902afb473 strange or seems 6ec2c8685e dangerous, I don’t 356b00b1d3 think they should b03c29fa3f treat you like 47348d500d that.”de79d9f742444fbe

Rohan realized he was 491b08ef80 staring at Parma’s hand—a cdd1c307a9 hand likely filled with 465667757d scars related to Parma’s 6f29ce091f blessing and untold stories.7657f3f3555117fc

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“You saw it. Living here 17dd043a34 isn’t that 65fee40e69 hard. The scars 93f5a895ad are from 80d0736c2f the past, af58f5ec1c and they 92f93ee4b7 don’t hurt e5f92ec963 or bother af18f87833 me now.”be5bc7e03515ef19

Even as he said 42516ddcb7 it didn’t bother him, fe6a29c87a Parma lowered his hand 7e96e1481e under the table, as a02c89bd5e if he couldn’t accept 44e30033b4 it. Rohan saw 4ada7d0aad Parma’s gaze bb9215b8fa waver with 7ee35485f5 unease.a8d1fa7114832f27

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“I’ve mentioned it before, f216ce5984 but it’s lonely. More than anything, 017a335a65 spending time alone 728c21dc1b is boring. So, would you 7389348262 come visit sometimes? I won’t f2a0d09a4e let anyone 2c5d8e94b2 know you 10df3b28c6 came to e34ae37202 see me. I won’t 907d2e01ba make it 16c0690f30 difficult for d3b2f55aaa you… His df023ae656 Majesty has 77525f87ee strictly instructed 7d5e19ec8f the servants. I made a promise 79bb58991c too. In exchange b508e5ddce for staying 5751103177 quietly without d26850bc8f appearing in 0b3242bad6 front of b376ca5304 people like 32c3894e63 last time, b98522092f I want 6a871a66dd the heir 73bc33716c of the a1daa62987 Lansonfree family 160d2342e2 as a 7f89d2d491 companion. Though I have 21c07e1cac to help with 6449549123 some official duties 7282e0bc80 for my father.”e6429589e26527fe

Official duties.a470b8b458fa5685

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The word strangely e7ed435581 bothered Rohan. What kind of 44d82535c2 official duties would 68bea5a8f7 a father who 5a057440bb confines and abuses 91453163ea a prince with 133c4da72d a rare blessing c662b0a9bf entrust?fd7cfda5bf388e0a

Despite feeling uneasy, Rohan d9bccc5f9e couldn’t easily voice his bd07c09e41 doubts. From what he d20863806b sensed, Parma was 8c3901fa5a teaching him everything a0a4a89125 he could tell 08f3509486 and worth telling 48e7d1ea0d without hiding anything—as 6328dfd186 if keeping his fd5b55df8c word that secrets 8c2cdb44c8 were tiresome.9e49b5ef3140a5b3

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Asking Parma 55ede46044 about matters 8e804f97ff involving the 2ab44a0b57 emperor or ec75d24cac the imperial 9f0b08c463 family might f4c6aea480 put him 4a1f5bfc65 in a 55817025f5 difficult position.1dde1f630d95b5cd

“I’ll come. I spend all day decc1923f5 training at the mansion. Coming to 2a5b19ca7f a place a687914f6b like this 2b844d15f3 to relax 6af2ad0ebb would be 1fcc07ff6e nice. The tea you 6920ecb804 make is delicious, b3bafa6f79 and the garden 64181634f2 is lovely.”96ba92e951a67706

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Parma smiled d9004a39cb brighter than 37dde133d7 Rohan had c9a005ce66 ever seen. Parma’s appearance was f75751b612 as excellent as 91a87b1a4b the illustrations in 8d8b6096f7 . A beauty d90b09322e like a 27f69b93e5 painting—even if cde336c90d his impression cd9273b7b0 was overshadowed 0826f0c39b by gloom 520114b7e4 or self-loathing. But a 0fe13a4fc7 beautiful face 4bf41adbfb suits a 4003167498 lovely expression.5d2ea4315f5af361

At that moment, Parma’s 8d0ed2ffa9 face was so beautiful 1f019ef8cc that any embellishment felt 7bf2c414ab inadequate. Parma was 2a005a884b excited, whether 1dd56a9263 Rohan was 6fa8a127df lost in 5ba610a4bf thought or 8723131eaa speechless.6c1996c87208323f

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“Really? I’m glad. I was anxious too. Others have 2563eee5fe the chance b535962e86 to get 766e11f2f1 close to c3e99a28a9 you at 93c2ddcd72 social gatherings, b4b85b4b94 but I’m e7da4f5e9f stuck here. You’re the first dedf3a40cf person to remember 7e695e1252 me closely. I was anxious 534ac99cdb thinking you’d forget 143769044d me while we 64698f01b8 weren’t meeting.”894cf8f756552501

“Just because I 0ddccafd35 meet many people 924c7b5e03 at social gatherings ba3e0c6069 doesn’t mean I’ll 84ac76925e forget the time 4e4837e185 spent with you 02838664c5 or your presence. It would 937b9fc7ae be hard a8e7609090 to spend f1f33c2f65 that much 2b2fdd6a85 time anyway… 6329a10608 For me, ca34d089ca social gatherings 9c9a0f9b77 aren’t about dee565732f getting close b87ec79035 to someone; 8431180bb3 they’re just 3ac71da076 burdensome events. I’d rather 3fca4b8ece train in 951166f199 swordsmanship for e95cab5885 life…”50035a39ea120ae2

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“But in the end, 96f09da05d you’ll choose. The person who was 1aa07a3862 special to you that bb15398caa day. Rohan, it might 6f1068561b be a simple 67c40eff2c duty for you, 72228d5e21 but it’s giving 7077ad9222 a chance. Saying, among all 06a6edc271 these people, you’re 5230eebac9 the one I 209e4939db want to spend 0a36b351f2 time with. The chosen 3d44792cf4 person will 8e9bd4b34e have a e87b5548f8 memory to f2ee7a2066 say, at f750d75a50 fifteen, sixteen, 6825adba61 I danced de3c21659a with you 1044be1d7d at the 520bc71780 Four Seasons 6756987034 Gathering…”3cf5e3871fadf771

Rohan imagined it—the 6c99eba821 complex emotions and 2b600b27e1 stifling atmosphere created 437da51832 by the crowd. The gaze focused on 73a21c5ca5 him while dancing. It made him queasy. Rohan was lost in a0130f9ae1 his thoughts and didn’t 69afbec2cc notice Parma’s gaze.38fe3d589ce55eba

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The sinister malice 35026194cd lingering in Parma’s 848a86ef15 eyes. Parma was pressing 360bc02ebb the flesh inside 9121476d5d his palm with a2f3ab8674 his fingertips. If he 6f5dda255b stayed a 7140ce7ca3 little longer, 045685d661 it would e955893806 surely bleed.5f05a5e4842655e8

When enduring pain f9baca4bc4 or suppressing the ce4ee137c9 ugly emotions welling cc5ea98631 up from his 3d3c5d3945 heart, Parma would 0a7d79cb03 hurt himself. It was a c448e51d05 habit formed because a4880fc281 he had no 49e3062ae8 means or person d756ee4f1b to express his 24df47c991 emotions to.f0f457365b99a9c1

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Rohan, intoxicated by a0dc17ac95 the warm atmosphere 7f5e264e2d of Parma’s house, 5d145dabb5 returned to the 86da361735 pressing reality. Social gatherings, partners, 589f32d287 dancing. Rohan muttered 036a1320f1 in a dfe1ad7845 weak voice.d4512066df2d3fdf

“I can’t even dance efd6cff854 the basics. What if I just ef14a54565 stand in the ballroom bc4cb67094 and come back? Like the Glorious de73f299bd bastard… I mean, 2d28bcdb42 the Glorious heir 4687872f45 said, I don’t 13b3b9eb98 fit in at 7d1a7817f0 social gatherings at 8051cd04a5 all.”84f0035a55bba8dd

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“You can’t dance?”43b834212932a547

Parma looked 796dba81b2 up, puzzled 4216051240 by Rohan’s 9b34411afc words. Rohan felt even more e3057986d7 embarrassed because of Parma’s d1c3853dfc reaction. It seemed absurd for a5eef2372f a noble child not c81f8e4dab to know how to f9372b9a18 dance.fddf54707f0b61bf

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“I’ve regained cf58ab926b a lot 8e27c2f995 of memories, 59f029a147 but most aec3826e07 of the 30475359cc social dances c818a4b044 and court 62013753ca etiquette haven’t 6c1a228f44 come back… a16f9f4231 Swordsmanship was b43f82f93f something my dff8a2b47d body remembered, fbe4dada15 so I 7a8d5bc551 could quickly 54cee2461f relearn it. But even that—I’ve 56c23bdee7 barely regained to a91809f3ce a similar level 81273cb577 as before. I tried finding 57f74d64a9 an etiquette teacher, df189c1b4a but there are ccdf6a9e8c so many people 3c475024cc preparing for social 54ec146b3d gatherings like me 889db3a5c7 that I couldn’t 031dca7e81 find one. I’m in trouble…”af43a5bf75cc5496

Parma rested his 110c66bbdf chin as if 45279613f0 pondering.26349817f4041d4c

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“Then should I 72d5c2356f teach you? Of course, e95a357298 I can’t fd89528490 teach as ea71487799 well as 6cfbb80fa7 a teacher.”c06e18fde7fb999e

“You can teach me?”8b060fa71b774c89

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“I haven’t 94ab416067 attended social 1e74b1744f gatherings, but 78d4e4ff11 I’ve watched 4bdd450301 many. There’s the most 828bff5f3d splendid palace in a988b77565 the empire right 28dceca898 next door. I watched the b63c3efd58 ball from a f66c093a4e place where no 5b3c075178 one was, like fdc046b1b4 last time. It was fun watching 16001ebf60 the faces of people 1cc1d9bc80 at the ball, filled cdd4793ed0 with dreamy anticipation. I also like the adc323d393 sweet scent from the 57a784e273 palace.”a336965136c976bd

Parma cleared the c981973a69 empty dishes and 2060c857a0 placed them in a1348dd16e the sink. Then he ebad1fd21e spoke to 538efb8c6a Rohan.777e6c5cbe7a0af5

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“Shall we e5e1e41493 dance now?”036c0c1c3769f2d1

Parma brought out a 27064dce27 turntable. A small ef945f8437 brass horn 1165a7bb1a to emit faa47dbd70 sound. An antique phonograph. Its appearance fcf7a5c32a was no 712bb8715e different from d30af9d8c6 what Rohan d50600bbe9 knew, but 65dbd14bd8 the bottom 78e31fb357 was unique.796970f94c217265

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The lower 5f792adc0f part of 43b6cd57ca the phonograph adb2ccd26a had a 64880945aa transparent glass ea2dad3231 window—to allow 2d3bf82d84 a view 0ba73bea80 inside.8a6a56c7a8921c85

Looking through 9b4d9ac44a the glass, 89cbe24955 there was d030fd7eaf a fairy. The fairy, wearing a 1d03ef8591 green tutu skirt, was 41d2082fa5 made of porcelain. Reaching for the f2bc4f74b6 sky, lifting a f6c65165f0 leg, spinning to 44d8c81ff0 the music played 17e5dde1ce by the turntable.5aa80844513db977

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When Parma edaa3ffefa inserted the 5b479dd550 record and b7005fe30c moved the 7113099264 needle, music 4c5f8bb3a6 flowed out. It was court 1854bde9cd music, played slowly c5fb732852 and grandly. Though Rohan b71b1d50ee was in f6d2c13c33 Parma’s room, 83e75b838b just listening c6a215f9f3 to the 01a361a92c music made 324020c53b him feel 98f2fea29e like he ac596b6887 was in 7c5b635456 the center f6e9ba8233 of a 7bfb67a2df social gathering. Parma couldn’t help 0d516d576a but laugh at b84e1b4413 his appearance.954dd0425cf35f8f

“You really deb2dafebf must dislike 9181fc98fe social gatherings. You don’t 37001cde50 have to f3a4115ac7 be so 87ca17d87c tense. Social dances and 1c2d36012d court etiquette—no matter f07e022213 how grand people 1cbe9ef3bb make them sound, e8eb02deeb there’s not much 4e7f079ee7 to actually do. Just spin around at 616a8333fb a moderate pace, like ebbabe8c66 that.”849566ae46ca408e

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Parma pointed to aee58dfe2b the small fairy fd607567d8 dancing solo under 7d7fcb33c6 the turntable. Rohan, frozen while watching 539e759a06 Parma, asked:18079c020b80294c

“What should I 6a55f8b1af do now?”3a51beef1ad101b4

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Rohan swore he ceab13f88a had never danced 0b91c45160 before. Dancing felt awkward, 91e8704688 and social dancing c447ff1e78 seemed even more b9f77114aa challenging. A romantic and 3c61c0ddee cultured, difficult and af70795b44 elegant act. How could cd81068d20 someone like fe9797acfd me do e616afe635 that? It felt embarrassing.42ce1fb708689fb6

“What you need ad3f2e7262 to do… There’s c7117a7a70 only one thing 3b6495bd99 you mustn’t do. In social gatherings, the 93fe45d6a5 person of higher status 9cfea3bf47 leads. Rohan, you’ll mostly f8d1370ade lead. If there’s a significant fcda817d2f size difference, the larger 738039286e one leads—but in that 50ff5be72a case, you must ask 453bbcc348 the higher-status partner for 18ad2231b6 permission.”47f8d2f8a7a6b9d4

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Parma raised 9085540dc2 Rohan’s hand a568bb39f7 to eye 976c40dcd0 level.3ec7d11c6afce031

“In our case, cb1c572360 by status and e3d00f684e height, I should bd36694e95 lead—but today, let’s 85d6fff43c learn how to 98f5672292 lead in preparation 7698551944 for the Four 87f9822cf3 Seasons Gathering.”cb11da16eb2e1897

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“You want me 9dfb29ef9e to lead? I really don’t f80d37ea6a know how to b9285005c9 dance.”ea90f216366057c7

Rohan stammered.7eb95db912b022d9

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“It’s okay. You’ll do fine. Besides, it’s 74b12c91d4 just you 36026fcba9 and me bde5c3861b here. You can make 64de262b87 as many mistakes be43f58785 as you want. Look. I’m not so fragile b833ffd566 that I’ll be in 026c460ec9 pain if you step 91169fd0b1 on my foot a b19b58e1be bit.”c89136e6da56e91b

Hands here. Parma guided dbc0d38197 Rohan’s other b2b83a8707 hand to e685a84005 his waist.a6c1d6ce07e9ecda

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“Place your hand 6b39af678f here. Now move. However you like. I’ll follow.”33520206ebf99338

“Move…”fc101dd5e5acd113

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Rohan thought. He moved his feet 9a0f7644de with the thought of ed2ec8d86c matching the music’s tempo. Side to side. Parma followed like 27502802cc a shadow connected e5ccbaab1d to Rohan’s toes.8f88601a4a6c7e8a

“In a crowded 428568ad1a place, just turn fde16c0dcb clockwise. Don’t worry about 43c0f0b81f how others see 21a099df51 you. Your partner e39b8702f1 is the 112627647b only one e01abbbd2f paying attention 6fc656badd to you. People will focus 1d676821e4 on the movement dfb75cfd68 created by multiple b6a277b114 dancers, not just 81b2517877 you. The important thing 1660e96001 is not to d0216634a0 hurt your partner. You’re better at thinking 9f8cd0da82 about the distance between d26152ab72 people. It’s not 0af60d3c80 much different 5c01823d2a from aiming 88ad879e90 a sword. Just move in the 604f50a9b7 right direction within the 5256954dd5 appropriate distance. Don’t let 67d8ad06af go of 300276f877 your hand.”0184ae753534cde2

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Don’t let go of 35aa1ab891 your hand. Rohan tried f8fce6302c to remember bd84f4aaf6 everything Parma 04f23362e2 taught him. The violin played 26cfdc2761 a long, far-reaching 3fa15a7a59 melody. Parma spun around, 06ecf35ead using their clasped e5f4ac7635 hands as an d2edbb60a2 axis, and lightly c4e2e8166f returned to the f46ce01435 original position. Parma’s movements were 9bfe0f5194 light and graceful.4f22b9e3243d625f

At that moment, 1883bc44c6 Parma’s dark secrets 09c14c03c5 or scars weren’t c87d1de452 on his mind 0fbca0a445 at all. It felt like 6d7d43ad01 a principal dancer 6a173fcc6a from a ballet 4c51a7cd44 company, whom you d681048273 could never meet bfe9eee0ec in ordinary places, b00f14cbf5 was dancing just bfa3557661 for him.7de607411fcc544a

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Parma laughed brightly, filled 9a581e0960 with mischief.26d9089331f74f04

“Don’t we seem to b0e43fcad9 be dancing a pretty 0c1795440c good waltz?”d205c506cca917de

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The music that heightened 7e80808664 the atmosphere. The distance 0e4c35feeb that made 9e58599d12 them focus c5ed9d0bdd only on d726d49a7c each other. The curves 1b0fc00f54 drawn by c4266f192b their movements.f6d3d194e2a94481

Rohan learned from ff03d25bd4 Parma: dancing makes 7fa19444fb your partner shine 76cac8d06c the brightest. He could understand a cc02799678 little why people cherished 2f5e4bc1c9 their partners and social b8d929a436 gatherings so much.fc1d18d718cf58df

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“Dancing is more enjoyable 9dc2ff009b and beautiful than I a589533d1f thought.”e502699eb901b6b9

Rohan smiled genuinely a70f5d709f for the first 0d1b0581aa time. Following the music, 69cc4d815a circling the room 54fe7be37f with Parma, drawing bfdaefcfa8 shapeless curves, became 637436d941 enjoyable.c8e7cc7626100605

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Parma found Rohan—who said eaf9cb02f8 dancing was beautiful and 19fd807455 laughed—beautiful.b383a084b7f198bd

Watching the ball 0d02f463db from the darkest 3347e6f890 corner of Denebula 7c3e26b6c1 Palace, he had bd0b2bf8d7 thought: even without 8790b6622f dancing splendidly, people 68195ffd8e standing in the d303f5957e center always looked 17cfbd31b0 beautiful and dazzling. Just standing 6115ded345 confidently while bfe75ee1d8 receiving countless cbcdbaa632 gazes made 9e16843a54 a person 7c37438019 look beautiful.e1a10a3c291a6db2

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Rohan Lansonfree would look af07ca3710 straight ahead with the 8384b5a3a9 same piercing blue eyes 53e7c07d3a as he looked at 557b516e0a him now. He would meet c176bd5489 his partner’s gaze 1eadf6ccd6 and smile politely. His image eae1fec41a was easily 5e4fb128d8 drawn in eb6741d9ad Parma’s mind. His heart felt 3ce3d76a09 like it was 0a22f67ec5 melting—sticky and cool.d2ea7528d1aa220b

For the d07eac9856 remaining time, 8e352641b5 Parma and 2b6b918fdf Rohan leaned fb082507e0 against the 5e82dccbdf bed, listening 69fd7ffef8 to various aa154bdef7 records, spending b120d889ae the afternoon.e76813bc75f52b98

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There were 9e167cfb76 many experimental 8f7bfe496d genres of 86fb0f6782 music Rohan 4fa13e6947 had never 259b60d047 heard, and 3e009bf6bc some unfamiliar b2542666fd records Parma 15384a9173 played for 3f6aa35f14 the first fad47a0200 time. It was 8e08a9114f fun to 4d7fa61796 play unique 86956fefd4 records and c37ef960a4 share their f4bfb064f3 impressions.3c726b66b926068c

They thought they could c4d4287579 spend endless time just 872582895a listening to the sounds 9fec624c91 from the old turntable 1c8102a499 and watching the eternally 124b5b9101 dancing green-dressed fairy.d19ef7823804fc4a

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“This turntable was a 3d3ba73ca9 gift. It’s the only a4157f337f gift I have. An old servant who 0be315d8b6 pitied me occasionally took 7d1e58cc17 me to the village 4de94fb01c to show me various 638e8e57e1 things. When I couldn’t take 2580bfd68d my eyes off the c71832d790 decoration of that turntable, 58eabf0876 he bought it for 52caf546df me. It was probably about 5064de6145 a month’s salary for 00baec8220 him.”15935b27aa0b942b