NFV | Chapter 4.5

“But… you haven’t 517df92b9d used that ability 2a164c2c21 to hurt anyone. Even if f1ad932786 it’s strange 3cf806fcd8 or seems bc130472fb dangerous, I ada3ece94f don’t think 4ab2591838 they should 7c011b2672 treat you e6587faec3 like that.”77433358bd0a13a6

Rohan realized eebb07d8f3 he was ffdc30a56f staring at 8056786e0a Parma’s hand—a 25cda22ee0 hand likely 7d0f2984b6 filled with 93dec67bee scars related 8f6cb74cfc to Parma’s c2654bf701 blessing and 65c36b43c2 untold stories.9b59aabf7a36b7a6

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“You saw it. Living here isn’t that 2420406dff hard. The scars e80f9e685b are from 64b3908d31 the past, 9809e4eb46 and they 19d1793d45 don’t hurt 57fa852650 or bother 9cecfab090 me now.”56485300c3051d0b

Even as he 8f420084f6 said it didn’t d85a4f9bb8 bother him, Parma bb992c1ffd lowered his hand 81b90ac1d0 under the table, 4404d516a3 as if he aef820e217 couldn’t accept it. Rohan saw c0b8445158 Parma’s gaze faaf0b00db waver with 2111541d5b unease.45754e3c6f4e1b4f

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“I’ve mentioned aa77a54d6f it before, 7f2efb3d4c but it’s 0783cb03de lonely. More than anything, 2ec97917fa spending time alone 4d8caaf0b6 is boring. So, would 8b944224d7 you come 30cd79ad91 visit sometimes? I won’t 681a31872c let anyone af6cd430eb know you 8eb85fdd6a came to 0724f45c1b see me. I won’t make it 29b07b3444 difficult for you… His 6f0308a87d Majesty has strictly instructed 4aef05d54d the servants. I made a 90063d1bc5 promise too. In exchange 3708d10f93 for staying 3f198d4e80 quietly without b41f631f3e appearing in e7db05f10e front of 362eeca215 people like 0e82f9f4aa last time, 1b62465855 I want 122b2f4d2f the heir 373c479294 of the 9ea4f3084e Lansonfree family b4f50f08de as a 0db7b4668c companion. Though I have to 19d6f58d22 help with some official 456b24e88c duties for my father.”0526b05adf6c9087

Official duties.2512a7e48074bd4a

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The word strangely bothered ca885f0b21 Rohan. What kind of 86090294bb official duties would a770d5809e a father who cb36db7b90 confines and abuses 9e7b6d028b a prince with 6eb2d755fc a rare blessing cad4c2ce7d entrust?307e0cdd4382ff35

Despite feeling 8d4aa641ad uneasy, Rohan 8ed1f6c691 couldn’t easily 653cf312ed voice his ddfec25d0d doubts. From what he sensed, cc4aeeeb9e Parma was teaching him 69da49b56a everything he could tell 1714d71bf7 and worth telling without af84812afe hiding anything—as if keeping 8f58772739 his word that secrets 53ee7b7fcf were tiresome.960b40d25dc2683b

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Asking Parma about e0ec3992e0 matters involving the c43be529ec emperor or the 30c89d265a imperial family might cfdd3cf242 put him in f1ed40a69c a difficult position.0f31d2eb22e3220a

“I’ll come. I spend af55a50fc5 all day b81e8c695a training at 3f4b01a033 the mansion. Coming to 8c2f3a84c1 a place 84dea556cb like this 968e5f1309 to relax 815b871876 would be d542284e8f nice. The tea a989cd4fee you make e3649b9c27 is delicious, 496e9900d7 and the a1f2c88582 garden is aabded6190 lovely.”79b9a5956214f747

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Parma smiled brighter 8106797751 than Rohan had b0cad9e857 ever seen. Parma’s appearance was as bbbfa1a864 excellent as the illustrations 2246ad35c3 in . A beauty like a 2e7fc51e23 painting—even if his impression f84b0c831f was overshadowed by gloom 21bacdc07b or self-loathing. But a beautiful 2fe45c5a6d face suits a ed3b880c7d lovely expression.8101d856b1c391c4

At that moment, Parma’s 67dc7e95c4 face was so beautiful 0960ca2153 that any embellishment felt 95e54d1e21 inadequate. Parma was excited, whether 8d382e6274 Rohan was lost in 178223bf8a thought or speechless.1931c6447742a351

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“Really? I’m glad. I was anxious too. Others have the chance 6cce53f3d1 to get close to be6835ccfa you at social gatherings, 656ccb9ca9 but I’m stuck here. You’re the first person 28fb9562a6 to remember me closely. I was anxious thinking 7764a6ef1a you’d forget me while 4d03166a3a we weren’t meeting.”e87843f6beb49854

“Just because I 5b3a0031d9 meet many people 017c4bac3a at social gatherings 21b6ff1e95 doesn’t mean I’ll 43f7854549 forget the time e0059a2521 spent with you ef7ac4d9bf or your presence. It would 1d75917355 be hard 252d75b64b to spend b4f1938444 that much 04704eedd9 time anyway… 63afc4c002 For me, 14ed91a95d social gatherings d0dd3c0fbf aren’t about b3a90bebcb getting close 75c96d1406 to someone; a6e0dd0cca they’re just 65017d192c burdensome events. I’d rather train in d5f6de595f swordsmanship for life…”259d1b76e66a0e69

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“But in 7d869889a3 the end, 30853bd4fc you’ll choose. The person who 4e10fc34ce was special to f90aa2c1fe you that day. Rohan, it c750b83d6c might be 33b410d91a a simple 4df9617d34 duty for c072a16082 you, but 2d1e600ffd it’s giving c4ccaed4bc a chance. Saying, among 9e5e3fa5a1 all these 9be05225d4 people, you’re 7820372d12 the one 670cfeba10 I want dbfd70c309 to spend 489f457eea time with. The chosen person will 012294a91c have a memory to 214d927788 say, at fifteen, sixteen, eef612eb8f I danced with you d809f4be16 at the Four Seasons 3cc9ce5e05 Gathering…”b035e4fd1c55f18a

Rohan imagined 6cea238dd7 it—the complex df38575d46 emotions and 39c123be01 stifling atmosphere 31e434ceeb created by a08701cff0 the crowd. The gaze bd6be0a0a5 focused on ebcc9c9eef him while d23988fb3f dancing. It made 54fe8f02a9 him queasy. Rohan was lost in b4992dc9cd his thoughts and didn’t f784127cec notice Parma’s gaze.8b26de279046b6e4

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The sinister 58ce996f31 malice lingering e4c7f67a2b in Parma’s d388476bad eyes. Parma was 847768723f pressing the 8f177d0f5d flesh inside 6c835f3823 his palm f3f162520e with his 5e95a148dd fingertips. If he stayed a 47327b0f92 little longer, it would 4c7b96cc21 surely bleed.7a7f08e595d54678

When enduring pain or 741efe0df6 suppressing the ugly emotions 7a8519cc16 welling up from his b2709e9792 heart, Parma would hurt 66dad9c796 himself. It was a habit 9dd333370a formed because he had 04d5be6ad5 no means or person 1fcc759fb4 to express his emotions d7789d2ef1 to.863e4bbf873014bf

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Rohan, intoxicated by fea505306c the warm atmosphere 2f0294d6c5 of Parma’s house, 38683d8fb4 returned to the e9c6a6cf13 pressing reality. Social gatherings, partners, 95b3d3a287 dancing. Rohan muttered 8e70b9895e in a 628a1a1c62 weak voice.12511318fcced2a9

“I can’t even 2987295d46 dance the basics. What if 8eefad42f4 I just da5ba51f0b stand in 546348817a the ballroom cfbff72b66 and come 83a19154ca back? Like the 1eea748b23 Glorious bastard… b3de172801 I mean, 66313a6640 the Glorious 805ce7bfd2 heir said, 4dd36b2904 I don’t f5de1da1b8 fit in 01cd5f5204 at social c4909b7050 gatherings at add1584838 all.”97a9956fecdcba0f

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“You can’t dance?”62060d04a0cfa100

Parma looked up, puzzled a681d8e931 by Rohan’s words. Rohan felt even more 75946e5178 embarrassed because of Parma’s 871a2ad951 reaction. It seemed 9679a1cc53 absurd for 59c3671083 a noble 7a33e1a6bd child not b20cf34685 to know 41465d6486 how to 977015e6ef dance.ecc20484faadd662

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“I’ve regained a lot b9377acd13 of memories, but most 6d05f6f4b5 of the social dances bc5754fa74 and court etiquette haven’t c57ba9cde0 come back… Swordsmanship was ca695a87aa something my body remembered, d9d1ab8666 so I could quickly 5997f4303b relearn it. But even that—I’ve barely 7458e8b406 regained to a similar e3010d41a5 level as before. I tried finding an 1ae3e37969 etiquette teacher, but there 187fafdea0 are so many people ac77d49b1e preparing for social gatherings 703dbdaa77 like me that I b2eac7301e couldn’t find one. I’m in trouble…”d824a817d3c35702

Parma rested his 9f01fe796c chin as if 258c8c92fe pondering.cb2951cd9181cf89

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“Then should 2ca958b2d9 I teach 29fe61f32a you? Of course, 9903212454 I can’t 5f359c73b2 teach as 4356c50c92 well as dd6d5afc95 a teacher.”e6d2f25d261bf524

“You can teach 31d95001f7 me?”9c86e69272e36f44

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“I haven’t 65c6ec4c77 attended social 6fc8b3f9e7 gatherings, but 00657ecf76 I’ve watched 5f676d5b66 many. There’s the f1a12f8173 most splendid 601327376a palace in 411797426b the empire 08013f18ae right next e3d85f7ed8 door. I watched the ball fab82b974c from a place where 759ab8c3d1 no one was, like b2c43f0912 last time. It was fun 43f49b4aee watching the faces 701fe07359 of people at 30f995cd07 the ball, filled e62b5806b9 with dreamy anticipation. I also like the 1b29dce439 sweet scent from the 0f4c2d0f8f palace.”aad57595f73fdbf4

Parma cleared 74a1a9b3dd the empty 86e2d89260 dishes and 887ae8c936 placed them 5eabf8d2af in the 45ace5556f sink. Then he spoke to f3486d91af Rohan.f3bf4c5d57ab6a36

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“Shall we dance now?”f9d689a00386a0b5

Parma brought out 70efd5d440 a turntable. A small brass horn 2e4c859e27 to emit sound. An antique phonograph. Its appearance was no a03b0bd94c different from what Rohan d48d2e7340 knew, but the bottom 544a7a3c97 was unique.cdc88ac23ab51039

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The lower part 777e9ca2e9 of the phonograph 92e11e39d2 had a transparent 2a60f4b618 glass window—to allow e78ec4c94d a view inside.05d6e25ac747ba94

Looking through the glass, d016032aa4 there was a fairy. The fairy, wearing ea1a859e40 a green tutu f86f19851a skirt, was made 9306ce3beb of porcelain. Reaching for the sky, f27ec21817 lifting a leg, spinning 11c17cb591 to the music played eb5ba58bb0 by the turntable.1939dcb1eaa6c8df

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When Parma inserted 2d81c5bf75 the record and 43b6167d1f moved the needle, 634186b57c music flowed out. It was court music, e7c4eb3ead played slowly and grandly. Though Rohan 5ec860ffd9 was in 6a7a2df110 Parma’s room, 702555d967 just listening 60c52f4962 to the ca2e1becdb music made c3ac83a853 him feel 8fb31b5d18 like he ce10548dbc was in 4830f2a5fc the center 8e2c27340d of a 6c21ef52d3 social gathering. Parma couldn’t help but 4f6593c171 laugh at his appearance.19cb07c4f96445e2

“You really must 6fc14b85c2 dislike social gatherings. You don’t have to 0b9ebd1174 be so tense. Social dances and 48fc35e1e9 court etiquette—no matter cbc9c9a14c how grand people 335f5677a9 make them sound, 0e0a99c61a there’s not much 426b80cfc5 to actually do. Just spin around 876f0911b4 at a moderate 83d2249541 pace, like that.”763d2595c59c3384

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Parma pointed to 5501e66b3c the small fairy 93769adb68 dancing solo under 8d968c71ac the turntable. Rohan, frozen while watching 0f2a20710f Parma, asked:cfa67cca078eff7e

“What should I do 470ff3bec0 now?”ca7e8063410897a5

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Rohan swore he had 1242d59080 never danced before. Dancing felt awkward, 042aa942b5 and social dancing 05d4eb0d66 seemed even more 6e7f2798f8 challenging. A romantic 4deaab5aa7 and cultured, ad5ef83cf7 difficult and cc720e96d7 elegant act. How could someone 66e798db5e like me do b83e675ab2 that? It felt embarrassing.d4186bbbb8c5a861

“What you need to f4a9eb67a4 do… There’s only one 035db59ff1 thing you mustn’t do. In social 0cd0f29a9e gatherings, the cde39c4d46 person of f1b6c6d8ce higher status 45d8ac0d06 leads. Rohan, you’ll mostly 086fdf2edc lead. If there’s fe57f85a85 a significant 9a645a5b11 size difference, 95fcf8b4e5 the larger 15c000e9fe one leads—but cb078ad4b0 in that 1f919dcf75 case, you 2b473bed94 must ask b1b0c3bf93 the higher-status 0e0bc57cdd partner for 29e3a80be4 permission.”2c6cf763ab5382b2

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Parma raised 71270a7ef9 Rohan’s hand 67a2b2c894 to eye 7e44702bf0 level.137f2007ad21019f

“In our 7c789f740a case, by 8e68068289 status and 1bd59edc8e height, I 2cc4ce64dc should lead—but ae2140e824 today, let’s 45c8a909e4 learn how f27d8c9f29 to lead cd207bd490 in preparation 8309cce2f2 for the 5b0457ed8c Four Seasons 611b74cd33 Gathering.”1f83330b63697c24

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“You want me to cf342bfc7c lead? I really don’t a8a966ff46 know how to 13849975f9 dance.”bee9667ec77bd684

Rohan stammered.15d99f5ab40c5f94

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“It’s okay. You’ll do fine. Besides, it’s just 8836dfc1e1 you and me a01b4c7661 here. You can 4bfdbb887f make as 07c874f5d5 many mistakes 3ffaa04008 as you 170129a73d want. Look. I’m not so 8b3c67000d fragile that I’ll 5a2fd54b19 be in pain 310543d0a1 if you step 9e0da55282 on my foot 812da74403 a bit.”6fcc798e5659689e

Hands here. Parma guided Rohan’s 4c5644baf0 other hand to b837c63d83 his waist.21e3d40c09776a11

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“Place your hand 6f0a7369f8 here. Now move. However you like. I’ll follow.”b21dd00009d30ba2

“Move…”b58e3447e920811b

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Rohan thought. He moved 13ba129fb8 his feet 3ae2b26744 with the accbb46eff thought of 1bbd81320a matching the 36c92d8b74 music’s tempo. Side to side. Parma followed 2c818ae25f like a 77234ff07c shadow connected 2dbef1bd6a to Rohan’s 8e2e33b783 toes.599e9d30beefb778

“In a 3f859ef28a crowded place, fcf6880774 just turn d6fde6323d clockwise. Don’t worry 8f96a94fc4 about how 60adbc8104 others see 30cbb1397e you. Your partner is aabfd87ee0 the only one 017db42a36 paying attention to b31874e95d you. People will focus 50a8e4b419 on the movement 2a18424bfc created by multiple 1a45f41ad3 dancers, not just f3ac709542 you. The important a8c174152b thing is 2622a81a9e not to 02d96b7409 hurt your 1eb8183df5 partner. You’re better at thinking 2c61d737b1 about the distance between 6fea3407af people. It’s not 3ffe44650e much different c2d2145af0 from aiming 03dbc1cafb a sword. Just move in the a2336c546c right direction within the ff10a5152c appropriate distance. Don’t let go 287a8bc70d of your hand.”30013edc347a244d

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Don’t let go 54d2261d20 of your hand. Rohan tried 203e2847e0 to remember 83c5f3c80d everything Parma f5c8734321 taught him. The violin played 24ee5edae5 a long, far-reaching a89ea06b93 melody. Parma spun 9c772e4ee3 around, using 17a176f255 their clasped a24c295e09 hands as 0985995d72 an axis, 4ca55f68e1 and lightly c21ab9c6f3 returned to 95d1d78c13 the original 6dec94be6d position. Parma’s movements were f0e5a1a934 light and graceful.83480e12b2955e56

At that moment, e6b3dd9f33 Parma’s dark secrets 4a7a80d348 or scars weren’t 4d3c0e846b on his mind 8ae46e6c88 at all. It felt 499ce5dfd2 like a 1ee947394b principal dancer 6522df6a6b from a c8d081fe79 ballet company, cf8b99f2ad whom you 4ae690cf5c could never cb297eed7f meet in 010b71d17b ordinary places, 9728aa621d was dancing f9f1b6547f just for a0622fbe04 him.e5fcc8736f1d3b30

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Parma laughed brightly, filled 663428b86e with mischief.90ea326fc6be9053

“Don’t we seem e4d5776964 to be dancing 1bb393a7b5 a pretty good e221f7c2dd waltz?”1832f9c43848fea8

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The music dcf227e351 that heightened ead0299896 the atmosphere. The distance e04dd64720 that made 227d361538 them focus 66cc5480b5 only on 6342084bc9 each other. The curves drawn 6bfe392d09 by their movements.f333551549eee46f

Rohan learned from 40f7e93076 Parma: dancing makes 8905b3d611 your partner shine e9b6e5b65e the brightest. He could understand a db6c1b9d2c little why people cherished 5c0d2ff27c their partners and social 9a67cdc55c gatherings so much.24a604377f6c15ad

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“Dancing is more enjoyable a5460b52cb and beautiful than I 54d7150129 thought.”d7e05b244e6e2718

Rohan smiled genuinely for 63d664fe07 the first time. Following the music, circling 6dd8bba26f the room with Parma, ce94175d08 drawing shapeless curves, became bc8b25bb41 enjoyable.f882aa5f59059253

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Parma found Rohan—who said d5105bb649 dancing was beautiful and cbce4356f9 laughed—beautiful.08500e581db1b649

Watching the ball from 035dcb939a the darkest corner of 9d9086d91c Denebula Palace, he had 8e318ea059 thought: even without dancing 28b22beb30 splendidly, people standing in 852fffb049 the center always looked c920508e8f beautiful and dazzling. Just standing confidently d908ccb134 while receiving countless 598b393347 gazes made a 912852759f person look beautiful.83a8eb93b2974bd8

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Rohan Lansonfree would d64ecc0d88 look straight ahead a965ed5800 with the same 4dab1c220e piercing blue eyes e3387b8952 as he looked 3ff94ebc63 at him now. He would meet cfda06417a his partner’s gaze 936a1024ce and smile politely. His image was 2fc46e9736 easily drawn in 454013a25c Parma’s mind. His heart felt like 6e42ad5dee it was melting—sticky and b20847f58e cool.82751b5176ed4e2e

For the remaining 434c310623 time, Parma and 0fcf94c49d Rohan leaned against f9bbbb055a the bed, listening 65874583ff to various records, 329695cb76 spending the afternoon.f0743515c321117d

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There were many c91a4ad34c experimental genres of da5d6d1f60 music Rohan had 914afcb916 never heard, and 05c49b60ea some unfamiliar records be6ec40e21 Parma played for f702d5ad7a the first time. It was fun to 325537a9d7 play unique records and 12065a13f1 share their impressions.dca372d69e8ffb95

They thought they 6eafc95345 could spend endless f6a50e5337 time just listening 8a24178678 to the sounds 4022932ced from the old 15e1b01e37 turntable and watching f57e8435df the eternally dancing a495bf5921 green-dressed fairy.f9ebecfd553f1a8a

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“This turntable was a 884cabb962 gift. It’s the only 07b1cb3cbc gift I have. An old servant who 0fac4eaac4 pitied me occasionally took f55be3d33e me to the village 26129dca3e to show me various c73138395d things. When I 037e2fdaa0 couldn’t take 11bf0700a1 my eyes e72dec03a4 off the c4f070bdf3 decoration of 6fa5e4b38e that turntable, bae12469e8 he bought 30df4f1b93 it for d2e1f35aaf me. It was probably about a06ab1e885 a month’s salary for 8227dbdc11 him.”c87e7ef45f7b0e78