N | Chapter 1.2

‘I should move…’

Realizing he was left alone with the man, Horan tried to move his legs that wouldn’t budge. At the same time, he didn’t take his eyes off the man leisurely fastening his belt. It was an instinct to not miss the predator’s movements.

‘Move!’

With the sound of the man’s shoe splashing in a puddle as a signal, he ran through the rain.

Horan’s eyelids fluttered at the sound of his phone alarm. When he opened his heavy eyes, he realized he was lying on the bathroom floor.

‘…There was thunder last night, right.’

He must have hidden in the bathroom again while not in his right mind.

“Ouch.”

As he pushed himself up from the floor, his whole body screamed in pain. Seeing the dirty school shirt and his scraped palms, it seemed he had fallen.

Last night, with the villa right in front of him, the sky lit up. He ran home frantically, not knowing how his limbs moved or when he was breathing. Then, a belated thunder struck, and after that, blackout. He must have run into the house in a panic and hid in the bathroom corner. It always happened that way.

‘I feel terrible.’

Whenever there was thunder, he had seizures with no memory. The next day, his condition would be terrible with excruciating muscle pain from how much he tensed his body.

No one knew about this. Horan considered it a weakness. As a result, his attendance was a mess, and being an orphan, he was already under bad scrutiny, so it was no surprise he was labeled a problem child.

“Graduation is soon.”

Horan slowly stood up, leaning against the bathroom wall. He didn’t want to increase his absence days and cause unnecessary noise when he just needed to endure a little longer.

As he took off his uniform, dirt fell off. Fortunately, he had a spare washed, or he would have gone to school in this state.

Just then, the alarm rang again. Annoyed by the sound, Horan postponed washing and left the bathroom.

This was Horan’s home, where a single bed and a hanger barely fit, with only a portable gas stove since cooking wasn’t allowed. Though it was far from school, requiring him to wake up at 5 AM, there weren’t many places he could get with government subsidies.

The phone was ringing persistently from the bag thrown by the entrance. He rummaged through the bag, turned off the alarm, and opened the moving box under the hanger.

‘It’s not even half full yet.’

Inside, there were stacks of colorful bills. He threw in the money he earned yesterday and put his uniform in the laundry basket.

He turned on the shower and waited for the water to warm up before wetting his body. As his tense muscles gradually relaxed, he felt languid.

‘What would have happened if I hadn’t run away then?’

Horan couldn’t erase the memory of the man he saw yesterday. No, he rather dwelled on it.

The day before, Horan had run for his life for the first time. He had only encountered the man for a few minutes, but he was so tense in that moment that his stiff body refused to run, feeling as heavy as wet cotton.

Yesterday, the man had clearly intended to approach him. To scold the kid who had witnessed the scene of them having sex? Or-

“That’s ridiculous.”

He shook his head before the thought could even form. However, he couldn’t find any other reason from the man’s gaze that bound him.

If he hadn’t run away from that man yesterday, he had an unfounded certainty that he would have been dragged away and ended up like that woman.

But it was strange. Unlike other older men who lusted after his body, thinking of that man yesterday didn’t disgust him. No, rather, it made his blood circulate.

‘Why is that?’

Horan looked down at his half-erect self.

Was it because he was at the peak of his youth, reacting as if he had watched a pornographic video? Moreover, the scene yesterday wasn’t just any porn but a highly stimulating outdoor play.

Enough with the useless thoughts. Horan quickly washed his body and hurriedly put on his uniform. If he missed the bus, he would have to take a taxi, but he couldn’t waste money that could cover a meal on that.

He slipped on his shoes and wrapped a long scarf around his neck. Though old, with pilling and thinning, it was Horan’s only winter gear.

Locking the door of his house, where there was nothing to steal, he descended the cold stairs, noticing the mailbox on the first floor. A piece of mail was sticking out of Horan’s box.

With no time to spare, he snatched it and tore open the envelope, suddenly stopping in his tracks.

[Notice of Subsidy Termination]

His gaze was fixed on the bold letters.

The single sheet of paper had Horan’s graduation date stamped on it, congratulating him on his graduation, and in small letters below, it stated that the subsidy would soon be terminated.

‘…Congratulations on graduating…’

The subsidy for orphans, which Horan received, would be cut off immediately upon high school graduation.

He had expected this despairing piece of paper to arrive soon, but receiving it made his mood plummet.

He stuffed the crumpled notice into his bag, burying his cold nose in the old scarf. The notice in his bag weighed heavily on his shoulders.

Perhaps due to the recent persistent winter rain, the soggy schoolyard was empty. Only Horan sat on a bench overlooking the school grounds, escaping the noisy school during lunchtime.

‘I still don’t have enough for the deposit. Should I plead with the landlord to pay more rent until I can gather a lump sum…’

Receiving the notice that the subsidy would be cut off felt like a fire was lit under his feet. He had been stealing under the guise of a part-time job every night to save for the deposit.

The box he checked this morning was woefully insufficient. It was just a moving box made of paper, not a real safe.

His body felt freezing cold, but his chest was burning with worry. Even if he sighed out the hot flames, they quickly reignited.

The noise of the excited students in the classroom, anticipating graduation, reached the bench where Horan sat across the schoolyard.

The distance between them, who were in a festive mood waiting for tomorrow’s graduation ceremony, and himself, who was worried about immediate survival, was greater than the schoolyard.

Just then, he saw someone approaching from afar. Horan instantly recognized it was Haechan. His large frame, a former boxing athlete, stood out anywhere, and more importantly, there was no one else who would come to him.

“You’re here.”

“I’m here.”

Welcoming him familiarly, Haechan sniffled and sat beside him.

“Where’s your padded jacket?”

“In the classroom. I forgot.”

Lies. He must have left it on purpose, feeling sorry to be warm alone next to a friend without a padded jacket.

‘This guy with unnecessary loyalty.’

Horan was about to scold Haechan, who was shivering beside him, but closed his mouth. Perhaps because it was winter, his short hair, fully revealing his head, looked especially cold.

‘That’s not a scratch, it’s a scar.’

His gaze landed on Haechan’s side head. There were two lines of scars next to his left eye. They were so straight that he initially thought they were for style. But they were actually scars from an accident.

How did he even get scars like that? Haechan suited that delinquent look well.

“They say your subsidy gets cut off once you graduate.”

Haechan said.

“Yeah.”

“What are you going to do now?”

Horan buried his nose in his scarf, saying, “I don’t know.” Horan and Haechan were the only ones who shared such conversations.

Horan first saw Haechan in his first year of high school. At the time, Horan was completely alone due to rumors of being an orphan and engaging in compensated dating. But one day, Haechan, who wasn’t even in the same class, suddenly started talking to him.

Initially, Horan was wary, thinking Haechan was a thug because of his build and scratches. But he soon learned that Haechan was also an orphan, having lost his parents in an accident during elementary school, and he let his guard down.

“For now, I’ll try to ask the landlord to let me pay more rent until I can gather the deposit.”

Horan’s answer made Haechan nod.

With his bold personality and the strong impression typical of athletes, Haechan was set to inherit a massive fortune from his famous politician father once he became an adult.

Horan once wondered why Haechan, who had nothing in common with him except being an orphan, would hang out with him. And that question was quickly answered when he saw Haechan talking to other people.

People often mention their families in everyday conversations more than one might realize. Family trips, dining out, things so trivial that they don’t even notice, but for Haechan and himself, who were lacking, it was a cold reminder.

Haechan was uncomfortable with people who would look at him with an “oops” face when family topics came up during conversations. Seeking freedom from such glances, he started talking to Horan, and they just happened to get along well.

‘I didn’t expect us to stick together for all three years.’

Haechan stayed friends with Horan despite the rumors. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe the rumors, but more like, “So what?”

“If that’s the case, why don’t you just live at my place? There are plenty of rooms-”

“No.”

Of course, there would be plenty of rooms. It was a three-story country house on prime Gangnam land. Having heard this offer from Haechan before, Horan refused before he could even finish speaking.

“Or I could help with the deposit-”

“Kang Haechan.”

Horan’s voice grew louder.

“No.”

He then firmly put an end to it. While Horan might not look much different wearing the same school uniform now, he knew that once he shed his student status, an insurmountable wall would form between him and Haechan.

Of course, Haechan wouldn’t think that way at all, but Horan, who had already built a wall of inferiority, couldn’t accept his kindness as kindness.

“Sorry.”

Haechan mumbled an apology. Yet, the disappointment was evident in the way he kicked the frozen ground with his foot.

He didn’t want to hear an apology. Horan sighed.

“Hey, I saw a crazy guy yesterday.”

Horan, busy searching for a topic to change the mood, suddenly lifted his head.

“A crazy guy?”

Fortunately, Haechan’s eyes sparkled with interest.

In truth, Horan hadn’t planned to tell anyone about yesterday’s incident. While it was a story high school students would find stimulating, he felt it was something he shouldn’t disclose.

Above all, the fact that he got aroused recalling that scene pricked Horan’s conscience.

“They were having sex outside, in that rain? And he finished right in front of you?”

After hearing the whole story, Haechan asked in disbelief. Horan nodded, relieved that the atmosphere had completely shifted.

“Hey, the bell rang.”

Unlike Horan, who stood up at the sound of the warning bell, Haechan didn’t move.

“Aren’t you going?”

Horan asked, and Haechan tilted his head with a serious expression, even nervously shaking his widely spread legs.

“You know I have a good intuition.”

“So?”

“I think that guy might be looking for you.”

“…Bullshit. I wondered what you were going to say.”

Horan chuckled, feeling deflated, and turned away.

“I’m going in first.”

He waved his hand and crossed the frozen schoolyard.

But his steps toward the classroom were hurried. Though he pretended otherwise, he couldn’t hide his ominous feeling. Because Haechan’s intuition was really good.

“Haa.”