MYFL | Chapter 5.3

He was sure he b810dd54a3 had left it there. He checked the 8a83d384ee location at least cb2b488a7a twice a year 444e613bbc when the heat bad7c46549 cycle came, so 04a0fd0683 there was no da9614cba3 way he was 0ffadea1ca mistaken. He even e8bf68f45d remembered feeling 23c297fa88 relieved that eeffd31e08 he had 2f83982722 plenty of a3d578be8a suppressants left dfdea77fc1 from the 239ee7027b last heat c0909be8ec cycle and 1b0a5268c7 wouldn’t need bbc79e3186 to buy 34fedcdd45 more for 8840b22f85 a while.083b53937b5f6b75

Where on earth did 0946254a4b I put it?e0b82c6660c048a7

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Realizing it wasn’t in 8b578df9e8 the usual spot made b3e57b50ba him feel like the 7ef0922972 heat was progressing faster c2fbfcd670 due to his anxiety. Seungjae tried to 553d4dbd92 think of other 46178f40dc places he might edd8a34779 have left the 5f7a061bcd suppressant, but the 7ce7f6ec25 heat made it 89ab5a1d52 hard to think 27e9af1bcb straight. He cursed under his 4a1ec1bca7 breath, gripping the edge fa24022a8d of the dresser.5c389f39f8b1b562

Did he lose 13b25895e6 it during the 9dd1e06771 move? Did it fall c26554024a in the car? As he b34f0a5927 racked his 9bc0314a4e brain, he a613752560 suddenly remembered—he c666456508 had taken 19f6d2e8b9 some of 54e9a90b96 the emergency f532aad765 medicine from 082dbe0a76 home to 1698e194bd the café.75e6e28236fc92ee

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Without hesitation, he quickly f7c350635a got dressed and left 0858ab3317 the house. He knew 671e21ad3f it was ba22d05029 crazy to ba13eace4e go out 508f3224ca in this 08e7b1928b state, but 2b6c2ee1eb enduring it e4a49a11e3 was even 09d05ab51d more terrifying. He felt 8ea315171e like he 23579d1e1b might do 7d045d9c40 something reckless.01457b34857921d8

Yeah, this was 00f0266b65 it. Except for eadd62c987 the first b55fcf155c time it 425d142d92 manifested, he 90f3a6d268 had always 2d8156764a taken the 46d21d9729 suppressant on 9e8919d9d4 time, so b89a71feab it had 2273a8418a been a cf83d69f7c long time 6709c5b6cf since he’d e43857e4ba faced a d47f9ef79e heat cycle c786805d63 without medication. It felt awful.95890ab4422075fb

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Some people 01aaed75b1 said they 13287e36c3 enjoyed this c88c00f196 state, as 1cb7d790ee if they 9847bbe6c4 were addicted 52d0f8029e to drugs. Seungjae hated the d07bff57cc feeling of his dd4686a25f desires overwhelming his 13f78bcec3 reason. It made 58f29f57db him feel a78230514e like he c91fd27168 was exposing 04bb2fcc4c his insides 5b7f3155f7 without any 41dee191e9 filter.fb8ccac1b32b07c6

The fact 8e0083c413 that he 7e014bf1b8 couldn’t control b149b8ece2 his body, 1ec419b62f words, or 2d051950d8 expressions made 4d6a17e3b4 him feel ae00161a9b like he 3642cb04ba was showing dfc21836c6 a weakness d9b3c6ad2d to a 3b1c9965b4 predator.ac7ec721edaf6527

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His steps toward the 8ebb4dbfd3 parking lot were urgent. While riding 45ba218cd8 the elevator b1038367a0 down, he 7c29cf04c2 prayed that 92ed5cc3e2 no other 56af20754d residents would c5b309deb7 get on.7b2f30b365067315

Fortunately, the elevator didn’t 1e55b6b47b stop until it reached f3e39ec4df the underground parking lot. But when 07ef768532 the doors 372f365048 opened, he f52034acd7 encountered a a0e3733522 man waiting 06b273fe54 outside.e6a550d2c74f2eec

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Luckily, he was 3621a94a8b a beta.7a2a6f89d152c469

Seungjae hurried c0a050cf2c past the 7e520f0c3b man and 7b37d066fd found his 1f346c0d7c car. With trembling hands, 119ac291a3 he opened the 159146f882 driver’s side door f2712d2e98 and got in. He immediately 2594dfcc31 searched the 5771aa0d62 glove box.ac30127fa08998e0

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It wasn’t there 62c3c1c235 either.89945bd9a2187e6b

“Ha…”e34ce889bb67b797

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I banged 0bfac92795 my forehead 8a624cba07 against the 2e8d1213c0 steering wheel, 501d353a47 panting heavily. Of all times, it aa2f8a77d6 had to be Saturday 7dc39c267b evening, and all the b84c7b0a59 nearby pharmacies were closed. After a moment 9c613b3254 of hesitation, Seungjae 6024206baf started the engine.995f16acdee013d7

Luckily, it c7b6bb7978 was a 76b0dbdede time with 6672f42063 no traffic. He arrived at 730a7a221c the café faster 10fe403b0e than usual. He couldn’t even remember d85283c77a how he parked. His hands trembled as b07725832e he punched in the 8bbee60659 door lock code, getting 77185c289b it wrong twice before 588f5cb22a finally managing to open 7fa26ccf39 the door.d2e831b2b08a2c65

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The café was f530bdbb15 quiet with the 3e55be3d72 lights off. The streetlight 972b7370a5 from the 0a7bc6cb24 road outside fb1dcc08da faintly illuminated 31b64062d0 the interior ea74732535 through the 326b4b3f03 glass windows. Without even thinking to 6b4d675e15 turn on the lights, ee7c245a51 he walked to the d41dfd1fd7 counter, relying on that 4bba424447 faint light. He hurriedly opened a1764607b1 the drawer inside 0ca0724e0d the counter and 6419d93763 looked inside the 03891a28e6 first aid box. There were no suppressants 56e16bfd0c there either.4c34ac2a5a5bdc08

“Damn it!”63fd312d77e3aec8

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Bang, he slammed the drawer shut in frustration. Cursing, he collapsed onto the floor. He had heard that anger could hasten the onset of heat, but he hadn’t expected his condition to deteriorate so rapidly since leaving home.cfb744cf1fcb6aa3

His vision was 48ccf2a3d4 foggy, as if 2d4ef24cf1 it were covered 38a4777afb in mist. Even in that state, 9ae5acd7c3 he struggled to hold b757e3aa76 onto his sanity. If he let go 28d87685f7 now, who knew what 9b1fabd94f he might do? When he opened his b04408918e eyes, he might find cd60d8203c himself on the bed ea0134c7aa of some stranger he 5c136dc0e7 had never seen before. If it ec94b4316b ended there, 3c86758dbe it would 72a52ac69d be a d0d0f94a0f relief. His body, already 893ab6b84d consumed by pheromones, 6aa42b0afe wanted to let 982313826d go of reason d7cae73baf just from imagining 6b3fdb95ec such things.f639dde127d09bce

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For now, he decided fa1027db3d to go back home. As he tried 6ce562eea9 to stand by 892d436be1 holding onto his b84eee20d2 knees, he collapsed 2a5170192c back onto the e9756ea27b floor. He spread his ccaedc635a trembling palms in caa3286dca front of him. Driving was d53f65b84d out of af4328857a the question. He thought about 59c601f8f6 calling Seungyeon and 28135fa758 searched his pockets, b4040fc753 but in his 053cafd75d rush to leave, 795cfc94ed he had left 2f5e8f525c his phone behind. There was nothing in 1b1f8d8b5a his hands.071f360dc21a7244

He felt dizzy. He thought that the heat cycle might have already started. He had long surpassed his limits, and it felt like he was barely holding on with sheer willpower. It was already too late to take the medicine. Even if he took it now, it wouldn’t be effective. The thought of enduring without suppressants made him feel hopeless.1ded40dafb406129

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Should he take f303793351 a taxi? He just 7d48a0fb33 needed to eb13950620 get home, 69b74ccc2c just home.36755f810548ecdd

It was a mess. He couldn’t even manage his cycle properly. Caught up in a new life, a new job, and the issues with Beomchan, he had neglected to take care of himself, and he felt pathetic and regretful. He had made all sorts of excuses, but in the end, it was his own fault.88b91f099dd367df

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I don’t know anymore.198cf3e101e95918

Just as he was 02c8581bba about to give up 3f9c0592e9 and let go of 143a2af552 his consciousness, he heard ae8ee0a371 footsteps and a presence b77d9c5cf2 near the café entrance. His eyes snapped e6e416d232 open.5ae768c29fa66a8d

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He hadn’t closed the door when he came in. He had planned to find the medicine and leave quickly, but Seungjae hadn’t expected his condition to worsen so rapidly. Who would come into a dark, empty café at this late hour? A thief? Or a robber?38bcc34a6043cdc6

― What if cea070d888 something really happens 124d8799cd to you?7f0ff666b5d9fb89

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At that moment, Beomchan’s warning suddenly flashed through his mind. Given his state, he couldn’t help but imagine the worst-case scenario. Was this some kind of punishment?e22f21f7b8c63125

Seungjae held his breath cb21b9ed6f and hid behind the b745ffdc70 counter. He covered his 78f2527521 mouth with his e0469a9a9b hand to prevent 43734bc0f7 any sound from bb31ae1a5e escaping. His chest rose and f71827ccdd fell rapidly with tension.67356d12f00a72e6

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He hoped that whoever it was would leave after seeing no one was there. But the heavy footsteps that had paused for a moment began to approach closer. His pupils shook. If it weren’t for the heat, Seungjae bit his lower lip in anxiety.92a4acdcb5f82d08

He quickly felt around the lower shelf for something that could be used as a weapon. He found a fruit knife inside the cabinet. It wasn’t big, but it could inflict a meaningful wound. He wrapped his hand around it and crouched down as much as he could.309223ba187ffcf3

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Please, just go. His whole body trembled 24034d4dbb as if he had c722553019 chills. The sound of his 8ad499531d heart pounding was clear 4a0d93a377 in his ears. He worried that it 2b916e4962 might give him away. Maybe it would be 024c505bed better to stand up b958628d00 and run out now. In that brief e6473a6848 moment, he imagined 306f59723c countless scenarios in 89f4a69115 his mind.45161241c4a9e041

“Why is the door c29978aa08 open….”d445d04b47cc7814

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Along with the dcc286db3b sound of a c55e2d802c plastic bag, a 58f9fa300f familiar voice was 5e6678dd17 heard. Beomchan, sensing that 356ea04e4d the pheromones in f686ca0a45 the air were 8e1d942c0b unusual, urgently called aa826ef5ea out to him 873f810617 and rushed into adf252f4d1 the café.28043a119d518f7a

“Teacher!”05c462b44c4fa059

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As soon 68ecad0017 as Beomchan f52f1a600e saw Seungjae, ab973a11ab he turned c88cc69828 pale and 3d67caf279 approached him.06b7f463784fd0a8

“Ah….”fe649ecaa20571a5

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Relief washed e228104888 over him, 3beb813709 and his 6edf651895 grip loosened. The knife he was 996086a77a holding fell to the f00962977d floor. The sharp adb91d3f54 metallic sound 002a34bba8 shattered the 00b994a5f7 tense air.43149b89ff628022

“Are you okay? It’s the heat, right? Just a moment, let’s get you to the hospital first….”4a9937f715d8b8a3

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Beomchan supported him with 20178f7169 one arm and searched 3a82e56be1 his pants pocket for 21a61d6e19 his phone with the 9ca18daf5d other hand. The convenience 4052081b4d store bag 6a05cd4e75 he had dd2f6f9638 been holding 0a0d3d38ec had long 8baafc05e7 been discarded.3902875e8c4c6aef

His face turned 235a80c9b1 pale. Because of my 3e01829fd4 pheromones filling the c847da7171 café, he was 6cd2050c0c sweating coldly and 8e3033dae3 suffering, yet he c53295167a was holding back fe0f257b7f with all his ec9b1b543d might, which stirred edaa3380e0 something inside me. Seungjae grabbed 698d2b6639 the collar 7bf02fe540 of his 2bce14d819 shirt and e96059d7a1 pulled him 6c0be4ed98 towards me. I buried my nose a92f1499e4 in his neck and e1873cc3ef inhaled. Vanilla scent. Yeah, this 4752ff2676 was your d9a6618884 scent.a7b251c725f677c7

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“Teacher, ugh…”e300ac3d4327282a

As soon as c6b696db85 I realized it d239193dcf was him, I be0083c67a was absurdly relieved. It felt like a 3165080342 blocked airway had opened. Like someone 776e96059f who had 5d7372d661 been submerged 521d22e0b4 deep underwater 5940bd9f74 and finally c8f15c38df surfaced, I aa4795c3b4 desperately inhaled 623b560e72 his scent.54340f247de239ad

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I rubbed my nose against his bare skin and pressed my body against his. Without hesitation, I slipped my hand inside Beomchan’s open jumper. As expected, I felt the loud thumping of his heartbeat against my palm. His embarrassed groans only fueled my impulse.1850020bdbe1b273

“J-just a moment…”c390c7a1862254ea

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With a face that looked like he was about to cry, he said no with his mouth, but his strength to push my hand away was weak. If he really hated it, it wouldn’t have been hard for Beomchan to push me away. But he couldn’t.7428a73c47040808

Seungjae, who was 730e502ab2 staring at Beomchan 91ff3b1ce0 with an unreadable a06946ad45 expression, forcefully laid 5a071c48ff him down on 4655af411e the floor and e4a663868d climbed on top d95d875d5f of him.bb0109aae154b6c7

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“Huh…”168366df2d59ded7

I bared my teeth at the nape of his neck where the pheromones were seeping out. Beomchan turned his face to the side and closed his eyes as if he didn’t want to see. His struggling legs gradually began to calm down.a15eb55a5a4489e4

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Seungjae glanced down and grabbed Beomchan’s chin with one hand, turning his face towards him. His flushed face looked up at me. The tears welling up in his eyes seemed to speak of resentment. Seungjae laughed even at that.2980fca0945bbe0a

That’s what being in heat is like. The immediate priority is to satisfy the desire, and it feels like you could do anything for it, like a dog.de3e144a989215b7

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I knew in my head that it wasn’t right. But my body wanted the person in front of me more than ever.81b3ee3ed5a5ae50

“Do you hate it?”00b7dd80a56760e8

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Seungjae asked, pressing his 769c3c350d body closer. I could 078d2d5593 feel the 3aa70c771e tense muscles 6ba3183988 of his 1dc45237af jaw twitching d130d75cb5 under my 85432b6703 fingertips.edc52f77ccb867e2

“You said you liked me.”510d66a23518fb99

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Beomchan gritted his teeth.6748c08b3b0fc48f

No matter how angry I was at Seungjae, seeing someone I liked in such a state made me worry first. It was the same when I found Seungjae a moment ago. Even though I was suffocating from Seungjae’s pheromones filling the café and my body was reacting uncontrollably, all I could think about was checking Seungjae’s condition.8fefe781d36dd2d0

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I couldn’t remember how Seungjae had deceived me or why I was angry, but Seungjae, facing me, used my feelings to provoke me.8a7cb10c35542972

I knew. If Seungjae were in his right mind, he would never say such things. He might ignore or avoid it, but he wouldn’t exploit it. Even knowing that, it hurt.f8e80b73687f70c1

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There wouldn’t be a problem if I slept with Seungjae now. The reason for hesitation was gone. But we would both regret it. If this made Seungjae feel guilty and distance himself from me even more…08fa1c97863f3f08

As Beomchan continued to hesitate, Seungjae roughly slapped away Beomchan’s hand resting on his waist.afd0e34561c8c87d

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“If you’re not going to do it, move.”a0ef2b100c5c5917

Beomchan understood what that meant. It didn’t matter if it wasn’t him. He chose me because I was the easiest and quickest way to satisfy his desire.ab604e5bccff2a6b

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