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    “Noona, if it’s alright with you, would you like to see the movie with me this time?”

    After having our last class, we ate on campus and were just about to leave.

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    “We can turn on the projector in my clubroom and watch… You see, I happen to have the DVD.”

    Son Kieun stuttered as I bought canned coffee from the vending machine. I turned around and looked at him. Until now, we’d watch the movies on our own and meet up to discuss any opinions we had about it.

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    “This is the last one, so I want to work harder this time. Just… I feel a bit sad that the class is ending.”

    Thud.

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    The coffee fell down to the opening of the vending machine. I pulled it out and held it out to him.

    “…Then do you want to see it at my place?”

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    It was a shocking offer. I only realized this when I saw Son Kieun’s eyes tremble cautiously. I watched as his ears turned red and spoke up.

    “If it makes you uncomfortable, it doesn’t matter to me if we watch it in your clubroom.”

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    Son Kieun looked at me with a mixture of happiness and bewilderment and shook his head. After taking the coffee from me, he clenched his hand around the can.

    “No, let’s go to your place, Noona. I’d… like that.”

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    I pushed the button for my coffee and recalled what day it was. I had my liberal arts lecture today, so it was Wednesday.

    Lee Kyuwol was scheduled to return home on Friday night. By inviting Son Kieun to an empty home, I was basically giving him a chance to confess to me. I hoped Son Kieun was intelligent enough to notice my ulterior motive.

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    The movie was a little over two hours long. It was based on a book that was published in a foreign country. It was a mystery melodrama that portrayed the daily life of a woman and a man who murdered his parent for her. The man committed all kinds of crimes for her, and when he chose to die in the end, the woman did not give him another glance and rejected him.

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    Even though I was inside the apartment with someone other than Lee Kyuwol, it did not feel uncomfortable or strange. Watching this movie for the first time in a while, it caught my full attention, and Son Kieun wasn’t the type of person to make me nervous.

    Once the movie was over, I opened the refrigerator. I moved to pull out the soda we purchased in the underground convenience store, but I decided to grab two cans of beer instead. I returned to the living room.

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    “Ah, thank you. I was actually in the mood for some beer.”

    He gulped down half the can of beer, and let out a long sigh. I merely quenched my throat with the beer and asked him.

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    “What do you think of the movie?”

    “I’m not sure. At the very least, I think that love is very difficult. How can one withstand the pain of losing everyone and ultimately seeing the woman they love in the arms of another man? It’s an impossible story for most men. They would have gone blind with jealousy.”

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    Son Kieun sat on the sofa and laughed as he gazed at me. Seeing someone else sitting in the spot where Lee Kyuwol usually sat finally made me feel a bit strange. I brought my knees to my chest and sipped on my beer. Then I opened my mouth.

    “Do you think the two main characters loved each other?”

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    “From what I saw, they shared the love of the century.”

    “…I don’t see it as love.”

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    Son Kieun looked at me with much interest as I murmured to myself.

    “What part makes you think that?”

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    I hesitated before tilting my head. I could feel his eyes following the line of my face.

    “I’m sure they had innocent feelings for each other when they were young. But the moment they committed a crime, I think they were both trapped inside their fate. Either way, whether they like it or not, they have to protect each other and act as each other’s accomplice. They’ll continue this entanglement and live on without knowing what love truly is.”

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    When I saw that Son Kieun was listening to me with rapt attention, I chewed on the lip of the beer can.

    “I just don’t get the feeling that they both did it for the sake of the other. In the end, all they wanted was their own personal salvation, but the way they went about it was wrong. Therefore, the more they tried, the further they fell, don’t you think?”

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    I felt like I was beginning to talk quickly because I was getting worked up. I cleared my throat and continued in a steady voice.

    “So for the upcoming discussion, I want to emphasize how their entanglement ultimately led to their downfall.”

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    “Mm… But I think a bit differently.”

    After pondering it over for a few moments, Son Kieun finally opened his mouth.

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    “I felt this way when I was reading the original work, but I think this story is a melodrama that revolves around the man.”

    “…Why is that?”

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    “He committed murder for the woman he loved, and he became the shadow so that the woman could live in the light. If you look at it closely, it’s the noblest, most pure form of love that a man can have. And the woman’s denial of him at the end… Don’t you think it could be a device used to emphasize that love?”

    I shook my head in disagreement.

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    “The man knows the woman’s personality better than anyone. He would have known that she would have pretended not to know him until the very end.”

    That was the reason why she was able to continue laughing even as he was dying. I felt that the man had committed suicide to end this ill-fated connection to the woman, but it seemed that Son Kieun thought differently. Looking like a young boy who was completely in love, Son Kieun looked at me and grinned.

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    “I think that supports my theory even more. Even though he knew this, the man still wants to protect her. His love comes off as something quite amazing.”

    “……”

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    “I feel that the author of the original work projected this desire that all men have into his work. An average man won’t be able to have that kind of love, and that’s the truth.”

    This was the first time we had a difference in opinion. It looked like Son Kieun did not plan on stepping down when it came to his romantic opinion. For some reason, I felt a bit hurt.

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    “Then according to you, the woman is the only villain here.”

    “If the woman didn’t love the man as you said, then I guess that’s true.”

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    He looked at me and scratched his temple.

    “But I’m not a woman, so I don’t really know how she felt. Whether she used his pure love for her own sake or whether she loved him but the method of her love was incorrect… That’s all there is to it.”

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    My throat suddenly became parched, so I finished the remaining half of my beer.

    “What do you think other women will feel?”

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    “…About what?”

    “About a man who murders or commits horrible crimes for her sake. A man who ultimately gives up his own life for her.”

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    Son Kieun placed his smooth can of beer next to my crinkled one. He straightened up on the sofa and gazed down at me as I sat on the ground between the sofa and the coffee table.

    “If it were a normal woman, do you think she could have loved a man like him?”

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    Son Kieun’s expression was very earnest.

    “What do you think, Noona?”

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    “A movie is different from reality. If it were me, I’d be so scared and want to escape. I’d want to cut him off.”

    When he saw how I replied in a choppy voice, Son Kieun chuckled.

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    “Why are you laughing?”

    “Just ‘cause. It just sounded like an answer that suits you, Noona.”

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    I didn’t know what he meant, so I kept my mouth shut. The afternoon sunlight shone into the living room and illuminated his face. Son Kieun’s eyes lightened as he gazed at me. We could hear the faint jazz music coming from the cafe that was connected to the apartment complex.

    “Whenever I look at you, I feel strange, Noona.”

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    His voice slightly trembled at the end.

    “Actually, as I was coming over to your place, I was so happy that I even surprised myself. Because you never let it show. Ah, so what I want to say is…”

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    Son Kieun laughed awkwardly and rubbed his reddened nose.

    “You don’t seem like someone who’s lacking anything or needs anything, but you make me want to do everything for you. Maybe… it’s because you’re so small…”

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    This was the first time I saw him looking so timid and embarrassed.

    “At first, I didn’t think it made any sense… But now I think that it might be possible.”

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    I gazed at him and blinked.

    “What do you mean?”

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    “Ah, the movie. The male main character.”

    Did he want to replace himself with the man from the movie? He coughed awkwardly and cleared his throat.

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    “Noona.”

    “Yeah?”

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    “There’s… something I’ve been wanting to say for a while now.”

    Son Kieun’s face stiffened with a new kind of tension. I could see that he was finally going to confess to me. Even though I had expected this, now that it was finally here, it felt a bit… awkward.

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    Son Kieun gulped and couldn’t seem to look me in the eye. He hesitated for a while before he lifted his trembling eyes to mine and opened his mouth.

    “You… don’t dislike me, right?”

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    I didn’t. The way he slowly approached me and his cautiousness. His friendliness but always making sure not to cross the line. The way he always nodded at my opinions as he tried to understand me. His innocence…

    “…I don’t.”

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    When he heard my answer, Son Kieun let out a small sigh of relief.

    “Thank goodness.”

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    The bright afternoon sunlight colored his face. Underneath his trembling eyelashes, his gaze deepened as he looked at me.

    I had an inkling that he was going to kiss me, and I wasn’t wrong. As we sat in front of each other, Son Kieun slowly, ever so slowly, tilted his head.

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    I watched as he approached me with narrowed eyes. Now that I got a closer look, Son Kieun’s eyelashes were quite long.

    Underneath his dense eyelashes, his brown eyes were gleaming with anticipation. It looked almost dazed. As his eyes began to close, I suddenly recalled a pair of cold gray eyes. My heart sank and began to thump painfully inside my chest.

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    This was the first time I received a love confession from a man, and I’d never received a first kiss like this (Lee Kyuwol’s and my first time was not a kiss because it was more like an animalistic, frantic struggle). I couldn’t believe I was thinking about Lee Kyuwol in this situation. If something was different, it was the fact that Lee Kyuwol’s bluish gray eyes were completely unique and unlike anyone else’s eyes.

    Rather than warmth, one felt the cold first. Instead of feeling differently colored emotions like a prism, his heart only contained a dense chaos. And this was reflected in his gray eyes that resembled the sea.

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    I hated that my criteria had at some point matched him. My peaceful heart began to race inside my chest once I began to think about Lee Kyuwol.

    Just before Son Kieun’s lips touched mine, I closed my eyes. Suddenly…

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    Beep, beep.

    My eyes burst open when I heard the passcode being entered into the lock. I reflexively pushed Son Kieun away and burst up to my feet.

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    The door unlocked with a metallic clink and opened. The person who had been creating such a ruckus in my head just moments ago was now entering through the door. The moment I saw him, I felt like my heart was going to burst out of my throat.

    Why had Lee Kyuwol appeared right now, at this very moment? I couldn’t understand it at all.

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    He stepped through the front door with an athletic duffel bag on his shoulder. He suddenly stopped. I struggled to speak in this unexpected situation.

    “…What brings you home?”

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    His eyes traveled from my restless face to Son Kieun, who awkwardly stood up from the sofa, and finally landed on the two cans of beer on the table. Then his gaze returned to me.

    “I have a race tomorrow.”

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    That’s when I realized that there was a national swimming meet in Seoul tomorrow. He had definitely told me this past weekend, but I had been distracted, so I’d forgotten.

    “Who’s this?”

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    Lee Kyuwol took off his shoes and asked as he walked in. His deep gray eyes didn’t seem surprised as they looked at me, and this caused me to feel even more dread.

    “Ah, he’s a hoobae in the same class as me. We watched a movie for a presentation.”

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    “Hello, please excuse me. But could it be that you are Athlete Lee Kyuwol…”

    “You’re correct. Nice to meet you.”

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    Lee Kyuwol slowly approached him and held out his hand. Now that they were standing side by side, I could see how different their physiques were.

    Son Kieun was not short by any means. It was just that Lee Kyuwol was so tall that he dwarfed anyone who stood next to him. I wasn’t the only one who felt that any man he was with seemed to look like little children in comparison.

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    “Ah, my name is Son Kieun. Noona, how do you know Athlete Lee Kyuwol?”

    “H-He’s a distant relative.”

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    My wide eyes turned to Son Kieun as I responded quickly. My heart raced inside my chest due to this unforeseen situation, and my hand was drenched in cold sweat.

    “…Noona?”

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    Lee Kyuwol licked his lower lip and murmured in a soft voice. A sneer flashed across his sculpted face before vanishing altogether. I recognized this, and I quickly made a justification.

    “He’s a year younger than me. I told you, he’s a hoobae.”

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    It seemed that Son Kieun also did not know how to handle this awkward situation.

    “Aah. I never knew you two were distant relatives. Anyways, I’m a big fan. Ah, now that I’m looking at you in person, you’re a lot taller than what it looks like on screen.”

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    Son Kieun gave him a strained smile, but his voice sounded different than it usually did. It seemed that he was also feeling the tension in the room.

    “I hear that a lot. But it seems that I’ve interrupted something.”

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    As they shook hands, Lee Kyuwol seemed quite at ease. When I saw his fake smile, my mouth ran dry.

    Son Kieun and I hadn’t done anything. More accurately, because of Lee Kyuwol’s sudden entrance, we hadn’t had the chance to do anything. Either way, whatever went on between me and Son Kieun was none of Lee Kyuwol’s business. I did my best to persuade myself of this.

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    “Not at all. If anything, I think my presence probably surprised you. Haha.”

    Son Kieun’s face turned red. It seemed that he had recalled the events of what happened before Lee Kyuwol’s entrance. He was obviously flustered as he withdrew his hand. Lee Kyuwol looked at him and slowly opened his mouth.

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    “Would you like to join us for dinner once you’re finished? It seems that you and Dayoung are quite close, so I’d like to take you out for a meal.”

    What did Lee Kyuwol say just now? A shiver ran down my spine.

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    “Next time.”

    Before Son Kieun could say anything, I quickly spoke up. There was absolutely no reason to accept Lee Kyuwol’s offer, especially since I knew that it was not given out of goodwill. More than anything, I was incredibly uncomfortable with this situation. I was so caught up in the thought of getting closer to Son Kieun that I had critically forgotten about Lee Kyuwol’s schedule. I felt like such an idiot, and I could feel my temples throbbing at my frustration with myself.

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    “It’s because we don’t have much time. There’s also a lot to do.”

    “Then I guess it can’t be helped. You two should work comfortably.”

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    When I felt Lee Kyuwol’s arm draping over my shoulders with such ease, I flinched in surprise. When his hand began to gently caress my back, I stepped away. I tried to treat it like a friendly gesture from a distant relative, but when Son Kieun’s eyes went to his hand, I felt goosebumps form on the nape of my neck.

    Click.

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    When Lee Kyuwol turned on the lights of the dark living room, I heard the sound of the switch. My mouth ran dry. After he disappeared off into the bedroom, Son Kieun looked at me and awkwardly spoke up.

    “Ah… that surprised me. I never dreamed that you’d be Lee Kyuwol’s distant relative, Noona. And I never thought you’d be living together…”

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    “I didn’t think there was a need to bring it up.”

    I cut him off.

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    “Ah. I guess that’s true.”

    Son Kieun rubbed his nose with the back of his hand as he nodded. I looked at him and spoke cautiously. 

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    “Can you keep this a secret from the rest of the people at school?”

    “Yes, but…”

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    Was I just being paranoid?

    “Why… May I ask why it needs to stay a secret?”

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    When I looked at him, I felt that he was looking back at me with suspicion in his eyes.

    “Since he’s famous, I don’t want to get myself into anything troublesome. It’ll get uncomfortable for me.”

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    I awkwardly smiled at him as I shrugged. No matter how I looked at it, this wasn’t something I could say after inviting someone to a place that I shared with a celebrity. I didn’t think Son Kieun was completely convinced of my poor excuse, but it didn’t matter. I wanted to get out of this situation as quickly as possible.

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