MM Ch 8 part 1

PR by neji

I came to know Son Kieun towards the end of the season. I met him in a class called ‘Modern Psychology Seen Through Movies’. By chance, he sat in the seat next to me, and we were grouped together in a two-person group project.

“I’m also taking this class by myself. You’ll be in my group, won’t you? Please. I’m begging you.”

He gathered his hands together as if in prayer and flashed me a pained smile. He was a year below me, and he had just joined the engineering college. He told me he was a big water sports enthusiast. By water sports, he told me that he basically lived in various seas and oceans during the summer and went scuba diving. His tanned face seemed to serve as proof.

“I’ll gather all the necessary materials, Noona.”

Son Kieun was very friendly with me from the start. Once he realized our difference in year, he always called me ‘Noona’, and I didn’t feel any spite coming from his behavior.

“…We should do it together. How can you do it by yourself?”

“I’m not that smart, so I feel like I’m just coming along for a free ride. It makes me feel bad, so let me do this much. Ah, and please speak comfortably with me. Your formal speech makes me uncomfortable. Please.”

One of Son Kieun’s strengths was that he had thick skin. To put it nicely, he had the ability to lower himself without coming off too humble. Possibly due to his warm smile, I didn’t feel like he was being calculating or manipulative.

Son Kieun’s smile was so wide that his white canines gleamed on his tan face. Whenever this happened, it drew everyone’s eyes to him. He had a special way of making the atmosphere as pleasant as he was.

“Then what about meeting up after class once a week? Ah, may I ask when you have some time between classes? We need to see if your schedule overlaps with mine.”

Son Kieun was a busy person. He had many friends, and I soon came to learn that he was quite famous in his department. I even saw him on the cover of the university magazine. He gave an interview about the scuba diving club he was in. Because of the group presentation, I had no choice but to meet up with him once a week. Even during the short time I was with him, I saw many classmates and colleagues greet him enthusiastically, both in and out of the classroom.

“Huh? The person next to you, could it be… your girlfriend?”

“Haha. She’s a noona that’s in the same class as me, and we’re grouped up for a presentation. Ah, Noona. This person here is a sunbae from my department.”

When Son Kieun naturally introduced me to his acquaintances, all I could do was lower my head. However, the awkward interaction did not last long.

“Son Kieun, you have great luck.”

“It seems that I always do. I even got into this school out of sheer luck. Haha. Then we’ll head out first, Hyung. I have a lot to do with this noona today.”

“Hey, hey. Don’t be like that. Let’s all have a few drinks later!”

“If you say you’ll pay for everyone for all three rounds, I’ll think about it!”

Whenever he was faced with any offensive jokes, Son Kieun had the deft ability to lead the conversation elsewhere. Just when I was starting to feel uncomfortable, he began to end the conversation, and we left.

“I’m sorry. That sunbae is really a great guy, but whenever he’s in front of a woman, he gets a bit talkative.”

He laughed lightheartedly as the sunlight beamed down on his face. In exchange for the rainy summer, the universe seemed to give us a clear autumn. The September sunlight was still quite hot, and even though Son Kieun was wearing a t-shirt, it did not seem awkward at all.

“Noona, by any chance, do you have some time in the afternoon?”

“…Why do you ask?”

“At 4:30 PM, we have a basketball match against the Department of Economics. If you don’t have anything to do and are dying of boredom, I was wondering if you could stop by.”

He suddenly stopped going down the stairs, so I had to look up at him. Son Kieun’s awkward grin was so bright that I had to squint.

“…I feel that we’ll win if you come, Noona.”

It was a stupid thing to say. But it didn’t feel that bad to hear.

“…I’ll think about it.”

Once my three-hour lecture ended, I made my way out of the campus. After entering the cafe in front of the bus stop and ordering an iced coffee, I sat down and drank it. I usually read a book before I headed back home, but for some reason, I couldn’t focus today.

「Noona」

「You’ll come, right?」

「Please.」

Son Kieun’s messages pinged on my phone. He sent a praying hands emoji at the end. It was currently 4:30 PM. Once I checked his messages, I walked out of the cafe.

Just then, the bus home arrived at the bus stop. I chewed on the straw and began to think. The passengers got on the bus, and the bus departed. I began to walk back towards the campus.

I arrived at the gym inside the College of Engineering fifteen minutes later. Son Kieun, who was drenched in sweat, saw me. He stopped moving and waved. When the ball in his hand was snatched away by a player on the opposite team, the sunbae we had met earlier in the day lightly smacked him on the back of his head.

“Get it together, you jerk.”

The sunbae jokingly reprimanded him and ran off. As I looked at him, I recalled Lee Kyuwol. I had still not gone to a single one of his races.

“Nice!”

He scored a 3-pointer and grinned at me. No one thought it was strange that I had come to cheer for him.

However, how would Lee Kyuwol feel? Would I be able to attend one of his events and sit in the stands without a care for anyone else’s curious eyes?

I didn’t take my eyes off of Son Kieun as he energetically ran around the court. The whole time I watched this game, I did not stop thinking about Lee Kyuwol.

“…Haha. Thanks to you, we won, Noona. High five.”

His sweaty face came closer as he raised his hand. The bright light from within Son Kieun spilled out. I awkwardly bumped my hand against his, and I thought about myself as I cautiously stood at his side.

The healthy energy oozing out of Son Kieun, and the gloomy, small woman standing next to him.

They did not seem to suit at all.

“I’ll buy you dinner as thanks, Noona.”

“Then shall I buy dinner next time?”

Nevertheless, the reason why I gave him such a surprisingly impulsive reply was because, whenever I was around him, I had a strange feeling that the bright sunlight emanating off of him would be able to dry even the dampest of people around him.

“…Then it’s my turn to buy dinner the time after that, right?”

Son Kieun flashed his white teeth and gave me a boyish grin. My lips stretched into a smile that seemed to emulate his, and I hoped that my face did not look a mess.

* * *

During the entire semester of the movie discussion class, Son Kieun and I continued as partners. Every Wednesday, after class, we began to spend time together as if it were a part of our schedule. During this time, I ate a meal with him three times, and I got ten stamps on my coupon card at the cafe in front of the school.

The day we met up for the fifth time, with a 500 milliliter can of beer between us, I finally began to speak to him with an informal tone of speech. He told me he was glad, and laughed as he said that he felt like it was a sign that we were growing closer.

He told me that due to his father’s traveling work, he attended middle school in Japan. Two years ago, when his parents returned to Korea, he came along with them. His brother, who was much older than him, had a job in Japan, so he stayed behind. He took a refreshing swig of beer as he claimed that his parents always complained that it was difficult to see their two sons’ faces on a regular basis.

Son Kieun did not avoid speaking about himself, but he did not interrogate me about my history. Although he was friendly, he never crossed the line when it came to other people’s personal lives. This was why I was able to be comfortable around him.

I was vaguely aware that Son Kieun, for some unknown reason, was interested in me. The number of messages we sent and received from each other began to increase by the day.

According to his stories, Son Kieun was a son that came from a middle-class family, and he grew up to be very bright. Whenever I spoke with him, I felt my mentality become healthier. He was an honest man without a fault.

I wondered why such a person approached someone like me. Ultimately, I realized that I didn’t know much about people and decided to let Son Kieun think of me as he liked.

I probably came to this conclusion because I didn’t dislike him.

Son Kieun was very different from Lee Kyuwol, who had a way of making people feel nervous. The way everyone reacted to Lee Kyuwol was the same. Whether he intended to or not, his presence overwhelmed people. He made people hesitate and they dared not approach him. They merely stood in awe of him with their tail between their legs.

However, people around Son Kieun didn’t hesitate to flock around him. Even if he was meeting them for the first time, Son Kieun would find a topic to discuss and converse with them for ten to twenty minutes.

Because of his bright personality, I felt like I was melting under his warmth. Whenever I walked around campus with him, with him often laughing and smiling, I felt like I was not an outsider but a normal college student like the other people my age.

Lee Kyuwol continued to return home on the weekends and spend time with me. Even though I was with him, I naturally began to think about Son Kieun more and more.

With the exception of Lee Kyuwol, Son Kieun was the first man to approach me first. I realized long ago that I was not charming when it came to the opposite gender. That was why I found his interest in me even more special.

Lee Kyuwol and Son Kieun were two very different people. Son Kieun was bright and warm while Lee Kyuwol was dark and cold. Although these terms were polar opposites, this was the simplest way to describe the difference between them.

And I also wondered how much longer I must live with Lee Kyuwol and turn our backs on the world. The only thing tying us together was our unpleasant and tragic past.

It was impossible to describe the relationship between us. This was because I could not see the origin of our entanglement, much like the gnarled roots of a tree. The more time passed, the deeper the roots plunged into the ground.

“I told you I’m on my period.”

As he naturally got on top of me and squeezed my breast, Lee Kyuwol placed a kiss on my neck. When I spoke up, he froze. His darkened eyes gazed down at me. I only realized after I said it that I had used the same excuse last week. The creeping arousal in his gray eyes suddenly grew cold.

“Are you tired of me?”

Lee Kyuwol did not interrogate me on my shabby lie and asked me a curt question instead.

“What are you talking about? I’m just feeling a bit tired…”

“Don’t make me want to kill.”

His cool hand wrapped around my face as I tried to avoid his gaze. He made me look at him. I tried to slap his hand away, but it was no use.

“…If you want to kill me, fine. I’m not sure why I have to hear you say something like that just because I refused to have sex with you once.”

I glared at him as I bitterly replied. Lee Kyuwol chuckled at me.

“I never said I wanted to kill you.”

“…Then what are you talking about?”

When I saw his piercing gaze, I reflexively gulped. Tap, he lightly tapped my forehead and whispered in a soft voice.

“I want to find the person who caught your attention and kill them.”

I came to realize that the fact that I knew he was ill was like poison between us. If I were to be honest, I now wanted to cut Lee Kyuwol off from me. More specifically, whenever I looked at him, I always remembered the gloomy past that I wanted to escape.

Staying together when we didn’t even love each other was only hurting the both of us. A desire to bury the dark past that no one knew and step out into the sun blossomed deep within my heart, and I couldn’t control it.

And in order to do this, I was prepared to use anyone, even if it wasn’t Son Kieun. When I looked in the mirror, the frowning woman looking back at me looked alarmingly similar to my mother. I was undoubtedly Jung Misook’s daughter.

A shiver ran down my spine, and I ended up lowering my eyes. I could not properly look at my reflection in the mirror.

My mother, the woman who did not hesitate to use men to satisfy her own desires. Lee Kyuwol called her trash. Sooner or later, he would say the same to me and look at me with disdain. The moment I realized this, every moment thereafter felt so cold that my entire body shook.

Lee Kyuwol knew everything about me. Would I be able to withstand the criticisms that would leave his lips? The moment he left me with a cold look in his eyes, would I be able to stop myself from grabbing onto his legs and clinging to him? Did Lee Kyuwol have a generous heart that could handle me, a person who had hit rock bottom?

I gulped and shook my head. I knew the answer very well. Before that miserable event came to pass, I needed to leave first.