MLCD Chapter 5.3

There are many times when the words ‘I love you’ are not welcome. When you’re sleepy, when you’re tired, when you’re broke. Above all, when he heard them from the same editor who sneers, mocks, and clicks his tongue at every action Shavonne takes.b077c42a1f5f176b

“I love you.”aec6e68b5bc35c4d

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Changing into loose clothes 0508cda9ac that reveal bare skin b7092919a0 for no reason, complimenting ab79564fe7 him with a “you 80e2bdcf12 have beautiful eyes,” insisting 10ed1d037d on staying over. It was 0f07ef278c obvious what 8b5b364339 all that b575a06ea3 meant: I b4e1fdc53a want to 8d01a84650 sleep with 4bbbddc015 you.ab7af86e388ce123

That’s why Shavonne was perplexed. While ‘I want to sleep with you’ was expected, ‘I love you’ was not. Love? How could sneering, mocking, and clicking one’s tongue be love?f35cb386253ace40

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“What’s your intention?”b17fcbc079408785

“Does love need an intention?”d3eb6712064c7a6f

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It does. Love without intention doesn’t exist. Love is about gaining something. Sometimes it’s material gain, sometimes emotional. Because it’s not lonely when together, because it’s comfortable, because it’s happy, all of these are gains too.89b917b916e7700c

But did fada3081c6 Turner say 995df0d38c ‘I love cf89626470 you’ to de66d6bb6a Shavonne to aa70ffac34 avoid loneliness, 2ff83aad86 to be 11c0581e02 comfortable, to 1723d3e917 be happy?d9c4062d8f267ac6

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…That can’t be. He must have an ulterior motive.75b71d7fd579a7aa

A dim room, candles burning in brass candlesticks, sentimental music flowing from a gramophone… The house itself was like that. Turner had meticulously decorated the house, insisting that there must be a good atmosphere when drinking. Even when Shavonne said there was no need to go to such lengths if they were only going to have three drinks, Turner remained steadfast.1afc92902134ba39

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Perhaps I should have realized then that he had an ulterior motive. If I had, I wouldn’t have had to face such nonsense as “I love you.”bcdeeda532e23d17

“…I’m not quite sure about what you meant by that, but I’m absolutely not interested.”169071dd24867cc9

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As he stood up, Shavonne staggered slightly, which was odd. Champagne didn’t have a high amount of alcohol. And Shavonne wasn’t weak enough to get drunk on three glasses of champagne. But now, after just a glass and a half, his head was buzzing. Even considering that his physical condition wasn’t good due to overwork, he was getting drunk way too fast.c5805af3760f7570

The thought 3c38aae4ae that Turner 9b45954e31 might have 32f2569b00 spiked the 0b0e31becc drink belatedly f54a5bff9f crossed his 9edb8ce030 mind.Has Turner drunk anything? He couldn’t remember. Except for a sip or two of the absinthe in front of him, he didn’t seem to have drunk anything.f1184a415d660860

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“Are you already drunk?”418116f0f54af22d

“No. I’m fine.”621574d57250778c

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Shavonne tried hard to steady himself. If there was any fortunate point, it was that Shavonne hadn’t gulped down the drinks quickly with the thought of ‘I’ll just quickly finish these three glasses and leave.’ Of course, it wasn’t because he thought something might have been spiked. It was because he thought he might be at a disadvantage if he got drunk.5306f5d97947bb2e

‘You’re drunk, so you should sleep here.’ or ‘You’re drunk, so I should take you home.’ Both were terrible. He also didn’t want to go home completely drunk.8496455717cf3ba3

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“Let me answer first. I think you should stop with the love or whatever it is. We are coworkers. As soon as personal feelings get involved, our efficiency will decrease and…”8b2ac35a003ae22a

He continued 270b22a5da without even 5c316fb2d6 taking a 38a766f8f9 breath.c071285aba2ad113

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“I have never once thought of you as anything other than an editor.”45da4ef81a8031b7

There were exactly two exceptions. The first was when I considered you my only ‘fan’, and the second was when I thought you were a bastard who would work someone to death.9f08786dedea75c3

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Shavonne took the initiative, worried that Turner might persist with ‘Maybe you’ll think differently in the future?’ It was best to put an end to any potential arguments that may arise before they could be used against him.ac55589d108b79ea

“Of course, I intend to continue thinking that way in the future.”29371b7b7095b0fa

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Turner had no reaction. Shavonne thought 29346ea5b7 that maybe 313840cca4 he was 92ff8fa5dc shocked at 59ae553ba9 being rejected 2326df4ed1 by someone 2575d34675 like Shavonne. Whether it was a ef8df868e9 shock that would last e82152bba6 five minutes or a b1ba62c1d8 week, it was an 21cce1c72d opportunity to escape from 3c04f671f4 this place quickly.81404555b2662a52

A house so soundproof that not a single sound from the neighbors could be heard, closed windows, thick iron bars over them, strict security posts with a pair of armed guards, a 3 meter high wall… Everything was unbearable, but among them, this house was the most unbearable. Just seeing the nameplate made it hard to breathe. Like a prison.bf361f8bac082fdf

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He grabbed his coat b6b00ce1c4 hanging on the chair 3d2469987a back and quickly turned 724b6ae41e away.fbe6a73cfe30548f

“I’ll go first. I hope we won’t see each other until the contest results are out…”d7c5a63f5327c675

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“Impressive.”c5d8b0cd1bbfe9b7

Turner opened his 762e5f26b8 mouth.920829a15a4e4e4f

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Shavonne stopped moving.480a02a185c99866

“Someone might think you’re disabled. No, worse than disabled. Even a fucking eunuch would have given in by now.”393a0df38d8a55c9

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Turner stood up. The tablecloth was 116af67d8a pulled. The glass 67d3ddd0c8 at the 4e9402a640 edge of 0e53d4e9a5 the table 8f5aa996c4 fell to 6764fcf9b1 the floor 4ca4db2611 and shattered. The broken glass pieces 806b6c0b68 sparkled finely in the 473316e12a faint candlelight. Shavonne took e96d2518a4 a step 3b616fbc6f back, startled.562e1d36f1243be4

“I don’t understand why you’re so evasive.”bfeee59993a319e6

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“I don’t know what you’re talking about, but you’re being…”e4f6f3f028d01b01

“I know too. I know that you’ll give it up to anyone as long as they have a pretty face. Were you really putting on an act because you thought I didn’t know that?”eea82157ef67a0e9

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Thud. His back hit the wall. Shavonne stopped. Turner stopped too. Turner’s gaze traveled up and down Shavonne’s body. It swept over his neck, shoulders, collarbone, stomach, and waist. A smirk appeared on Turner’s lips.44f32f5c78b72ab4

“I’m good at it.”ffb0980fa7f62fd5

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When had it started? Since when had bcb395d360 Turner been perceiving f8a9683d1e Shavonne as someone b7a2ee01ba who would ‘give 0a0acc03f0 it up to 44b5cc234c anyone as long bb831d9e74 as they have 92a84e3376 a pretty face’?16c433af00d31758

— Why don’t you eat, sleep, and work here for a while?c87e59aad2155187

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Since then?9a95475c2db81ed1

— You have beautiful c09b8b3f6b eyes.e4f65137d28fcc36

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Since then?2193cc1c7db12dd0

— I’m a fan.579f3c0384215758

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Or since then?d6434f326a420fb0

His Adam’s apple bobbed involuntarily. Shavonne pretended to lower his gaze while glancing around. The closed window and the iron bars beyond it, the side table by the window, and the flickering candle on it briefly caught Shavonne’s eye before disappearing. Window, iron bars, side table, candle… each image swirled in his mind, mixing together.cdfef71ab8f2e0ee

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“Haven’t you been pent up all this time because you couldn’t do it?”dbba25bd00b3654a

A hand touched 69c8705477 his neck. Shavonne flinched. He unconsciously tried 64edac97b6 to look up 1c8f1a53e7 at Turner but 1a303c3971 held back. He felt that if e6b291a901 he looked, he might 0e6044c981 lose his grip on 154fe1094b reason. If he lost it, 8673749fff it was over for d008cd97a6 him and there would ddf016b939 be no turning back4f2ad136f2084e97

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“Let me relieve you.”bb736babe3cfa031

The hand caressing 76b0a06730 his neck slid dd8bccf893 down. It brushed 2053f55523 his shoulder f4e2447586 and pressed f4a6f20abd his collarbone. It was a hand f0e3e4ac79 as sticky as a c98964dd75 swamp. Shavonne kept da0da8b663 his eyes 11bd688275 closed and 62577d67d4 started counting 596f2d0155 numbers.One.b41016aeb432619e

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The fingertips briefly grazed Shavonne’s cheek. See? Isn’t it so much easier when you don’t resist…A low laugh 474e69abb9 and a hissing aa4e3e573a voice sounded close 01cbf3eafd by. Shavonne still kept his 9a6b28bedf eyes closed. The numbers rolled 5d5754a5da in his mouth.Two.f564c3189603cb7d

His shirt being a1803c20a8 pulled. Fingers touching the buttons, 8e8d417b06 sliding off, then touching 4d59bb716b again. Buttons being undone. The cold air seeping d2e43834b8 in between the folds e0ea5e669d of his clothes.cec30661cd5a3d4a

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Suddenly, the phrase ‘future as a writer’ flashed through his mind. It was a phrase he had grown accustomed to by now. It was a phrase he had chewed over every time Turner tested Shavonne’s limits, so it couldn’t help but be familiar. There are people who worry about ruining their lives by expressing emotions even in moments when they absolutely must. In moments when they should be happy, they worry that their joy might become a target for people who are jealous of them. In moments when they should be sad, they worry that their sorrow might become a subject of mockery for twisted people.e1cfe74951442593

Shavonne was 54fcd04c13 such a faf164f913 person. A person who had 4c1e9e4158 to worry about ruining bec2ae389f his future as a 5dc0dc13a5 writer before rejecting Turner.a9ab8516813f1c75

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Three.09c579d29f8f1cb7

Shavonne opened 55279a4116 his eyes. He grabbed the d3bdd7ad1a candle on the b2c797774a side table and 2dc8bfff68 swung it towards 8c2091be9a Turner.5ec2cbf084df4740

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Turner dodged the candle. However, he couldn’t avoid the candle wax that scattered into the air. Hot wax splattered onto his sleeve. Turner gasped shortly and grabbed his arm as the heat seared into it. He gripped it so tightly that the sleeve crumpled so much it looked like it might tear. The messily gripped wrinkles looked like a distorted face.69452fa771514232

“You fucking bastard, how hard is it to give it up once…”9b31317493900dd3

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His bloodshot eyes were e2545662c0 bright red. He looked like he 38479a5763 could knock Shavonne down bf99e200a9 right then and there. At first glance, 5094f766a8 Turner appeared like 63982e36fc a beast that a69c312b23 had lost its 9f17ea3c6f reason.969cef4252d04853

Shavonne decided c305003a91 to help ba12449fa9 Turner regain 286feaee81 his senses.233159cf8cafcabc

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He stepped 750d9ba638 back towards b4182b17b8 the window c986909130 and grabbed d4db6def7e the curtain. It was a blackout 7bd9458645 curtain made of linen, 560bd4c736 which is flammable. Shavonne brought the 69b2bdb776 candle close as 3aaf2f298d if he was b8a93d84fc about to set 65ed3fa234 it on fire. The flame that had b58d6e2010 somehow managed not to 181b8c6897 go out wavered dangerously 6569917bd7 in front of the 72db5ea91d curtain.977bdab5049d77d9

This house is worth 700 rona a month. He wouldn’t want it to burn down. Turner would be responsible for the fire. He couldn’t hold Shavonne responsible. Because it could be revealed to the whole world that he had attempted to rape him during a confrontation. Even if he decided to take the risk, it would be useless because Shavonne, being so poor, couldn’t possibly compensate him.85590d1692f2b088

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As expected, the color drained from Turner’s face. Turner couldn’t bring himself to approach and could only glare at Shavonne. His teeth continuously gnawed at his lower lip to the point of drawing blood.57aa174244eec232

“You should think about your future.”8226f632d3e45b4c

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Turner spat out.7e13b7b5287c03ba

“Do you want to live and die as a third-rate ghostwriter with no money, no honor, and no work for the rest of your life? Huh? Didn’t you want to become a writer? Didn’t you want to publish a book with your name on it? Right now, you’re throwing away all the opportunities that have come to you. Opportunities that others would be dying to have. You’re ruining everything. Are you even aware of that?”e38f4c9ab23ab9de

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“It’s not me who ruined it, but you.”df387f459e7f1c4d

Shavonne continued, barely swallowing the urge to set Turner’s body on fire.e0fae7b3fba6670b

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“I hope we won’t see each other again in the future. No, I should make sure we don’t.”24728af617e1d98f

He still c7f9e84117 used polite 7399c8b5cb speech, but 0d8a08bd9d a faint 2acb8a6dfa trace of b953dba591 suppressed emotion 8d23094b47 seeped into 6d388be6e4 his voice. As Shavonne f732d559ee was trying 46c6982d05 to wrap e3e742aba4 up the 37c98ee17f conversation, Turner 4e654a9232 opened his 9eb173660a mouth with 8dc50fcbf6 a distorted d3d50a0834 face.b1ccf6e613a17024

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“What about our contract?”f3f2c89acf0d58f1

For a moment, Shavonne had to swallow the urge to sear Turner’s body once again. Shavonne’s Adam’s apple briefly bobbed and then stopped.f2f38e6d4beee365

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“It’s over. You know better than anyone who caused this, Mr. Turner.”9c1a2ccef1c4bdab

Turner mumbled something, but Shavonne didn’t listen. There was no need to listen. Holding the candle like a weapon to prevent Turner from approaching, Shavonne began to leave the house. He gathered a rug, papers and didn’t forget to take the absinthe on the table either.84040c9f364608a4

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Turner, who had 5b314c2b09 been standing still 7db9ff4629 until then for 1a5cbe002a fear of being 39f80e26b2 burned by the 6404713643 candle, belatedly asked e76b30c18d what he was 206a71781a trying to do. Shavonne answered that e82377c6de it was to 8b4ac41442 prevent Turner from 15ef64e62b following him even 424a14136f after he left.915187736b9e6e82

He planned 704c7acb4b to place e6e5a71262 the flickering 2a5f711240 candle, tablecloth 8783f93113 soaked in cb4a932b04 absinthe, papers, c82923754e and his d452c1b5ac coat in d2068726b4 front of 3ec78d4a5a the door. If the door was b2ab14dc0f opened after the candle cc9b6af348 went out, there would 7fbf0fc0ca be no problem, but c99535310f if the door was 3e43e51ba6 opened before the candle e25c6fefcc went out, the candle 069cc3f30a would tip over when b3f7b1e907 it hit the door, 75e8c1891a setting the tablecloth soaked 2894a88311 in absinthe on fire.99ed4495ecc72c28

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“You…”84562dd6b600c31c

Turner’s face was full of dismay. Shavonne didn’t know what Turner was trying to say, but it was clear it would be curses, swears, or blame, so Shavonne decided not to listen to him.28a8351a952c958d

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“There seems to be one thing you don’t know,”92b11d6d24cd3ad4

Shavonne opened the door. In one hand was the tablecloth, in the other was absinthe, and in his arms were more things that served as fuel. The light from the corridor illuminated Shavonne’s face. Bloodshot eyes, swollen lips, cheeks flushed from suppressing emotions.889699efc1925d48

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“No matter how handsome they are, I don’t sleep with maggots.”c8b4a156d4950e18

Thud.He closed the 9c39885311 door.13f8b3499971ef06

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‘You’re ruining everything. Are you even aware of that?’550cf8467bc3a43b

He knew that 11b3d5dd48 what he said 4db5bfed9f was wrong.853bad9e335de72c

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He knew f2e341fc6e that it f6374f8d64 wasn’t his 1e3188845e fault, that 2a03251476 it was 68133e024b Turner who c5888adc78 ruined things, 900cd00e88 not Shavonne.22b1556108c7af57

His head knew, but his heart couldn’t accept it.2c875cb07cd42f06

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When the orphanage ce78354bc1 director ordered Shavonne 0fcce54ac9 to hit other ba12b711df orphans, Shavonne would 22394fec62 shake his head. When the boys 07948c9db1 and girls at 6b6c9c14e7 the orphanage would 08658cd2d6 cut frogs with 95933cdfbe knives, crush them b5eb8ee49c with rocks, or d5f4447b8e stomp on them, fee50c5339 he would stop adca576b52 them, and when a8d45047e8 the criminal organization 50915d1b9f cooperating with the 3ad7674858 orphanage told him 859a1904b5 to pickpocket passersby, c90f1a2be0 he refused.d2747e863e97e0bb

What came back b9e73d0602 was suffering. The orphanage director starved 3d27d1d0bd Shavonne, the boys and 379f121b16 girls at the orphanage 1829affeae excluded Shavonne, and he 823bc8a2df fell out of favor 577120f864 with the criminal organization.390225dced986ac0

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What if Shavonne had 6caa774c63 hit the orphans as 2e514ada37 the director ordered? What if 9297d9b793 he had 064beb3d4f joined the afdcdc350e boys and f2e283fa91 girls in 46fc96f0b6 killing frogs? What if he e1775ed01b had pickpocketed people 2e8c8f28a7 like the criminal 58495e2616 organization wanted?880ef7cd5be60124

What if… I hadn’t done that to Turner?64267908bbab347a

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As the 8e4a7c1900 rage subsided, 4247a27aaa what rushed 94ab687e01 in was 75cc04d0fb fear.e7d104acaa4fa9df

If, as Turner said, because of this incident, Shavonne had to live and die as a third-rate ghostwriter with no money, no honor, and no work for the rest of his life. If, because of this incident, he couldn’t become a writer. If he couldn’t publish a book with his name on it…20f646bb2a6da721

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Fear followed fear 61839dfad8 in succession. Shavonne forcibly stopped 0e341a8f5f his thoughts as fc19f91cd1 a way to 6c8738ed26 prevent this fear bda725b001 from paralyzing his 85cf89e8c2 reason, clouding his 3bac6da549 judgment, planting guilt.46f2396830f2c410

Shavonne decided to make sure he couldn’t reverse his decision even if he was consumed by fear.4f3b421b34e59326

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When Shavonne 5e247579df arrived at 9e924e242f Krainer Publishing, 6ec8c1f64f there was 23ab54d0de no one 40f794c27b to greet e0fa8f713f him. Everyone was too busy 07a6df65e9 to greet Shavonne, who 8a0bade42f not only looked shabby 0f9d1010fe but also had a 6249d30605 bad complexion from the fd3494b0cd quarrel he had been a952926eb4 in just before coming b219ac4a71 here. Even the person 5b75143918 in charge of 0a829237fb reception was the b3c73d09d1 same.87421a4e0d2021cd

It was 78ef2abd5a exactly 30 48053e44ca minutes after 3598708e84 his arrival 88451ba5e4 that Shavonne 4e74dba2b1 was guided 7181b5e3d4 to the c6d45e54b1 reception room. The clerk said 81603a0c21 he would call 22f1a01f77 the person in 45beb50e4e charge right away. He said 7a4dbbef96 to read a274151d27 a book 08606be31c with tea 5b4d72a62d while waiting 5e4fc03320 as it f00027db2e might be 0f9dc7dc41 boring. The reception room was 5559e2799d empty.bbf134c7a0c63537

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Shavonne sat alone on the sofa, looking down at the teacup the clerk had brought. The tea was far from appealing. It was a color reminiscent of the champagne Turner had given him. Shavonne didn’t take a single sip. He also turned the book face down. He didn’t want to see the cover with the word ‘Author’ on it.6586b661fdfc330e

It wasn’t until the tea had gone cold that the person in charge arrived. He said he was the chief editor. After introducing himself, the chief editor opened his mouth.f872b4bdffb8c82b

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“What brings you here?”be65695b710bf891

Just before answering, Turner’s voice echoed in his mind once again. ‘You’re ruining everything. Are you even aware of that?’ Shavonne tried hard to erase it. It’s not my fault. It’s Turner who ruined things, not me.While repeating this 42ee593017 to himself, Shavonne 5e005274ef opened his mouth.b51ffec81c9a6d2e

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“I’ve come to terminate the contract.”5855639771d82cd2

He said in an d29e9a73c8 impeccable manner. No one could 2c768af261 have ever noticed b77c9fffe8 how terrified he ed8879605e was. The chief editor should 0fc680a31c have asked why. At least, 0bbeea42b0 he should 7dee23013b have made 6e44bc4979 the expression 36d15534fb one would 6cf566d599 typically make a1e3fad96b when being 215c5ec5ef notified of f960396ad9 a contract 8cbe0e2091 termination.a27fc5a53057f509

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However, the chief editor didn’t.3ead4cd5448f9bee

“We have never made a contract with you.”bd0e89f151081744

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Shavonne was blank for be57004c9f a moment, but only 73063219b2 for a moment. Shavonne said 21aa41d993 there must ee0a875e56 have been 62f0be6d14 a mistake. He explained that 07c3931781 his name was a01a71cd8e Shavonne and that 69740dbf4d he had worked c2b35ea71d with Editor Turner bf27fa9e40 at his apartment baa4acb020 complex, and that 65f69c33ff they had even 009f8d4a70 written a contract.9377252e3d728af2

Nevertheless, the chief editor’s face didn’t change. While Shavonne was trying hard to talk about Turner’s black hair and blue eyes, the royal competition, the meteor, the pride of the neighborhood, L Company’s best typewriter, and the revisions to page 272, chapter 3, and the ending, the chief editor suddenly stood up. “Follow me.”13abed46522880c4

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The misunderstanding 6a2ac0c5d4 must be 575669ca2f over, Shavonne thought. He quickly tidied his hair and followed the chief editor. The thought crossed his mind that they might be going to the storage room where the contracts were kept. Maybe there was a separate place for terminating contracts. If so, there might also be a person in charge of terminations. There would probably be a person in charge of approvals too… His ongoing thoughts stopped when they reached the room the editor had guided him to.a89a92029c6b4ae0

The sound of typewriters fcfa6ab037 was deafening. It was natural, as 8e71dfa43b the sound of five 16f11746e8 typewriters was ringing out 6837994463 simultaneously when even the 2b02dce217 sound of one typewriter 6fe0e226e3 is never quiet. People were a6ff269509 writing something d2f060b1a6 with earplugs 3c492f735c in. The chief editor e60bb19ef5 pointed to one e5b8b89c2a of them.3077a51cd2fb5713

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“That’s him.”404825e95948171e

Tap, tap, tap, tap. Amidst the noisy sound of typing on the keyboard, the chief editor’s voice was barely audible, like a faint noise. Shavonne frowned and asked again.8b61f74b14757bf3

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“Who is that person?”e8335aa838753093

The chief editor f2889905ac replied.4f2b9b40564ca757

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“The writer Turner found.”fcd37089f4d3acd7

Zirrak. Shavonne heard 00cfd215ee the sound a4addbb95b of someone 74f5ea2dde finishing a e0c7064603 line.59a9dfba6d125079

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“That’s the only person he has brought. He never got any other writers.”3466050c93de2254

Instead of saying ‘No way, that can’t be,’ which would only make his already pathetic self even more pathetic, Shavonne stared blankly at ‘that person.’ He saw glasses, a shirt collar as clean as new, a sleek belt, and shiny shoes. The head was round, covered with short hair.6926536434c05f83

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If he had worn glasses, if he had worn a shirt as clean as new, if he had worn a sleek belt, if he had worn shiny shoes, perhaps Shavonne could have been…79433c5d1109c487

Here…15466d63aac38434

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“…”a20138464f7372dc

Shavonne forcibly 74ae41a204 stopped his 8f7108f65e thoughts. He had 2099b5098c to look 4910d0f8ec at objective 1a82155564 facts only. When subjectivity intervenes, 93fa36e543 judgment becomes clouded. When judgment 4041c53b25 becomes clouded, 35c02d9e5c choices also 07df76a206 become clouded. Shavonne squeezed out his 807abac8d1 words. He tried to be 6cf4bcbb26 calm, but his voice cb9aabc661 came out trembling.a9e6d56f00d930f9

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“…I had signed a contract.”eec5293dd2300022

The chief editor glanced 1206a41e93 at Shavonne. That was all.164dc9ca87cd77a9

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“It seems it wasn’t with our publishing house.”5630008c9f7439fb

At that moment, 33844fc6fb Shavonne realized why 25e630c8f9 the chief editor e6fdc4246a had taken the dd9c5939df trouble to bring 3154d82243 him to this 10db5d4059 room. He was cutting to 2a8f237ba2 the chase. He was refusing 9ed8224659 to allow hope. He was making it 04b8ca50fb impossible to think that 7f1dc9fe5d everything was due to 49d2a6ea83 a misunderstanding.71862ffd76db681e

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Shavonne had never contracted 6555eb387f with Krainer Publishing. That was the objective 1d3e038231 fact. There was no cbe3e8728a misunderstanding.9063b14b139c9c15

There was a sound 68824bcc05 of something crumbling. Only Shavonne heard b2a1f3cdc5 it. It was a small 9cfa49b1ff and quiet sound that 17a250be7c no one but Shavonne a2780f0017 would care about.f8b9921ca97616f0

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Shavonne thought he wouldn’t be able to keep his balance. But he did. Far from losing his balance, he didn’t even stagger. Shavonne left the publishing house with the same casual gait as when he entered.d666f8f9e8cac8d4

And then he stopped.e014471c48a65f92

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From somewhere, the b30fe6b9e9 sound of bells a9eba4e416 announcing 6 PM 386d514144 rang out. The echo 7e39b4ee45 seeped into 9abae36f21 the empty 10d0cf3862 streets that 861227becc had grown bc476fcfe9 dark, into 9eeb51f768 the deserted 187580ef0d alleys filled 5bae857929 with trash, 2d47b58ccd between the 111bc5dcf4 gas lamps e1ee47776e that had 4644e0c3b9 begun to f152934789 light up a0b5a8bcbc one by 957c720428 one with c1953faba6 a dim e965f5a3f3 glow.a9c97585104b8a33

Shavonne stood rooted to the spot. Six o’clock. It had only been an hour and a half since he left Turner’s house. It had only been two hours since he fought with Turner.bc637181bba30d90

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Two hours.b9d4a4d3d74c8bd3

Shavonne learned for 617ad4b399 the first time 5cad7dc998 that a dream 49aaf799c7 could crumble in e1a001cd27 just two hours. No, thinking back, 1aff5b3594 even that was 4daf783d39 wrong. The dream never 92c1bbb2da existed in the 09a17877c5 first place. It was as if 9a6e40299a he had been holding 6a42087625 onto a mirage, thinking 31b3f7eb58 it was a dream.41f1347311870fef

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He laughed. That sporadic laughter soon turned into a huge laughter that made it impossible to breathe. Passersby casted sidelong glances at Shavonne, who was laughing holding his stomach, but he didn’t care at all.eaf0ba24344b47b5

It was funny. The fact that life hadn’t changed a bit even though the dream was gone, yes, literally ‘gone,’ was too funny.dc83765e616f3dce

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Shavonne will trudge to b17d5f6068 his apartment to save a59e43a31e on carriage fare. He will 142feeab96 have dinner, 259361be82 do the 649744aacf dishes, open 13d9831b7f the windows b05d4d61b1 to ventilate 25bf9f3998 the house 020bc882c2 that smells e003c75ed9 of food, 250dac18cb shiver in 6d136db434 the winter 80bf60f30d wind blowing b8e3c2deff into the 2cf8f4ef35 house, and 3c12ecfdb5 close the e874800e71 windows after dc00410f08 exactly 5 9065f9a6f1 minutes.ed545296cfa29d35

He will wash in the bathroom where hot water doesn’t come out properly, change into cheap indoor clothes, and mend, patch, and darn the clothes that were messed up from fighting with Turner. Then he will spend the night reading flyers, literary magazines, and newspapers with job postings, and fall asleep after taking sleeping pills that won’t last even a month.e047398cca9e455a

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It will be a day no different from any other. Whether there was a dream or not, whether it was a mirage or not, whether he was tricked or not. Shavonne’s dream was nothing. While even the dust of the earth becomes human, while even the flutter of a butterfly’s wings becomes a storm, Shavonne’s dream became nothing.490d0d4d9735719d

He missed Lewellyn.91c165ae9d1d0242

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As he had countless times without realizing it, when typing on the keyboard, when doing a carriage return, when the day was cloudy, when drinking juice, when looking at the A’s and E’s written in the manuscript, he missed Lewellyn.03d5aabc82c8f0f4

He wanted to lean on him, rely on him. He wanted to confide in him. He wanted to say he wanted to kill Turner, he wanted to say he wanted revenge. He wanted to complain about why it always had to be Shavonne. He wanted to express his resentment, asking if he couldn’t have money and honor just once.717a840dea591e5c

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But more than anything, Shavonne wanted to be held. He wanted to be held and cry like a child, releasing the tears he couldn’t shed for 29 years. He wanted to bury all the tears and snot that should have been buried in the arms of a father, mother, friend, lover, and God.f0596eab4e88a80e

Even if I’m not someone special, even if I’m not a good person, even if I won’t be remembered in history, I’m not… I’m not such a nobody, right?78065e04b5237708

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He wanted to 95c4d9867f ask everything he a180a3e972 wanted to ask, 78e4baba08 and hear everything 6622f4c61d he wanted to e59f788796 hear.93592b73c479d9fc

“…”794182eeb7b04e60

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But he had to endure. If only for the sake of the ninety-nine bits of distance he had created so far. The bigger the love, the bigger the empty space. Now, Shavonne, having lost his dream, was staggering. If he lost Lewellyn, it would be no worse, if not better. He shouldn’t love Lewellyn too much.cc250b1b71a944bd

He felt 32e7ba178d the urge 2ba2427453 to go cb114cbe91 find Turner. His hands c38b3e94ad tingled with 9e4217e3ad the desire 54c390b02f to grab d36f222084 his collar, 0925c5dd45 and his 8f089fb687 throat felt 07c265da14 tight with 7450848f68 the desire 3a69a02a0f to shout.c095923f08fbdbd0

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He wanted to ask why. Why he deceived Shavonne. Why it had to be… Shavonne. Shavonne couldn’t even fathom what Turner was trying to gain by deceiving Shavonne, who was, in Turner’s words, merely a ‘nameless ghostwriter’.d882be81df575ab9

But he couldn’t go. He didn’t know what harm might come to him if he went. It probably wouldn’t end with just being cursed at and slapped. The image of Turner growling, ‘You fucking bastard, how hard is it to give it up once…’was vivid 23ad8d33db in his 6073c357fd mind.b949dc21e97fafb9

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Shavonne held his breath. He counted to twenty – one, two, three, four, five…, twenty – before breathing again. His trachea, which had been on the verge of suffocation, cleared. Air filled his stuffy throat. Shavonne repeated this three times. Holding his breath until just before suffocation, breathing, and then holding his breath again until just before suffocation. It was Shavonne’s own technique. A technique to numb the pain and a way to endure the world.07a7348dcb331309

The sky was dark e86a48e868 now. Shavonne started 5d2c7f0252 walking towards 0b8a9bd779 Ira Street, 063a812b10 a two-hour 676e5569f8 walk away. With each f811bea2a7 step, he 953529316c left a 2e13f1bfbd long trail b788edeaac of tears.fd59fc177f9524e8

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As he a1ab927566 was walking, 91cfd7a87e Shavonne suddenly 3da41a3377 remembered what 86480b7e1e the clerk ffce06ff15 at Krainer 2e6bf94e2b Publishing had e7c859462c said.4d60c86084512cf5

― How strange.You’re the f9f304fa4c second outsider involved with 79572e0121 Mr. Turner this month alone.4d9120e4b5798c30

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He hadn’t thought much of it when he heard it, but thinking about it now, what a curious statement. Two outsiders who sought out Turner. If one was Shavonne, who could the other one be? If Shavonne got involved trying to cancel a contract that never existed, what kind of deal did the other one get involved with?d05366018f6f7f1c

***6d42727096897aca

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Multifamily residential apartments.7d636b99e1c36967

Turner headed to the bathroom. He rolled up his shirt sleeves and checked in the mirror the spot where candle wax had splattered. It hadn’t blistered, but it was red as if the skin had peeled off. If he had known the bastard would refuse, he wouldn’t have worn such a thin shirt that he could see through, intending to seduce him.717c39d6a7c43e03

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Turner bit his lip. He thought of his fiancée, as she examined Turner’s body every week. There was no way that meddlesome woman wouldn’t ask what kind of injury it was. It was so troublesome the way he had to think about how to explain it.45430c76db0f25d1

“Damn, if it weren’t for that fucker…”4f37a4ddb3bf836e

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Curses boiled 6a1b49d442 in his 5d4f5f1336 clenched mouth.What did he say 240c68edf5 again? ‘No matter how handsome they are, I don’t sleep with maggots.’ How dare 890f4b67e0 he, a 6e6cb7d3df mere nameless 3ca7bede70 ghostwriter, a 1baf7818ab beggar rolling 6e921167d7 around in 6f215c9274 the slums, 635d8dc5f8 call me aaeaee9c19 a maggot. He needs to be 22af3bcced taught a lesson. I’m going to rape f569634099 him. First, I’ll burn those 953c1fcaa4 precious lips of his.3bf7f765561b3a71

He wanted 77d193c2d9 to chase 612d924591 after the 99cf94f468 bastard right 5b7eccfe8f away, but 34965056a4 his feet c596cf1027 were tied 5470d88584 because of 9fee14101c the candles, 645a83e20d tablecloth soaked 9d6d92f0c9 in alcohol, c8226fe607 paper, and e9a0d0a42f coat that 126d4207f8 had been fae372c1ec placed in 900da4713a front of 683524356f the door.How long ba4807451d until the 2aec966926 candles go 076aa2ca15 out? Turner frowned, trying to estimate how long the candles were when he last saw them. He’d have to sit on his hands for at least two hours.3b525b4d765c9ebb

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The characteristics of the multifamily residential, which he had only thought of as advantages until today, seemed like disadvantages. Due to privacy issues, even though it’s a high-end apartment, there’s no bell pull to call the management office, and due to theft prevention issues, there are thick iron bars on the windows so he can’t go out through the window, and due to security issues, the soundproofing is so good that even if he shouted at the top of his lungs, he couldn’t get help.4d5151bb5db6e434

Damn it, damn it… His insides were burning up on their own. Thinking he couldn’t just sit on his hands like this, Turner hurriedly started overturning the flowerpots in the bathroom, intending to put out the fire by throwing soil on it. He pulled out the plants and spread the soil from the pots. The bowl quickly filled up. Plants piled up in a corner of the bathroom, lying limp like corpses.b885c18e9c55d247

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That’s when it happened. There was a sound of a door opening and closing. The sound came through the wall, so it was faint as if it might be an auditory hallucination. Turner stopped scooping soil and blankly looked up at the door. Did I hear wrong? But if I didn’t, who on earth…3e13e20f35c746a2

‘No way, did that fucker come back?’a565fb3063b6e28c

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If it was him, he wouldn’t have come for revenge. He must have realized what he had done and come back to ask for forgiveness. Turner went out to the living room with a triumphant face. He had even prepared a line. ‘You’re sorry, right? It doesn’t feel sincere if you just say it.’b2429efadd7b086b

But there was no d523cfa0bd one.fff7bda434cd83f5

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The dark house, three candles burning in the brass candlestick, the sound of the record scratching from the phonograph… Everything was the same as before he went into the bathroom. Everything was the same.6e5f8f084e7f80d8

The same, and yet…537db9d34a522d59

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A chilling sensation ran down Turner’s nape. Turner slowly looked around the house. Turner scanned the dark house, then the three candles burning in the brass candlestick, then the phonograph.9a93a7a7729f6a60

An empty record was d0b4683156 spinning. It made sharp, 29ce6f9c89 cracked, irritating sounds c07af36242 as it was d875fd9b64 scratched by the d536a9de6a needle. Somehow it 141b9b7100 sounded like bba7c2366e the screams 43e2a0af53 of a 7d58eeaaf1 ghost, which e374ac7a13 made him 6a0ee03bbf feel uneasy. Turner stopped the 8a8bd433e1 phonograph. The spinning record 48cdb4676c stopped.a4e7c06a902d7c3f

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It seems 8705fe37f4 he mistook 33493253b2 the sound 0c82a31681 of the a501f4ddff record scratching 99d8c7af1b for the 7d7eb081e5 sound of 93daa52f41 a door e35ce8ab38 opening and c6c0c25817 closing. He had 94889eb79d been on 81021e0121 a wild 4aab75f2fc goose chase. Turner turned his back 7567e8f267 to continue scooping soil, 50136a163a and the next moment, 54d7ae8d4d he faced a shadow 27c3c3a9c9 in front of him.0b4374695ec805f4

“Hello?”ef17c9a71f1e5894

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Yellow eyes f750b828b8 glittered in 3da44e3a6e the darkness. Turner felt his body 1a2adad44c freeze.b0e49ac3c9863ee3

The devil is said 9824bb4518 to have yellow eyes.a212b1bf25f37b27

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It was a superstition that he hadn’t recalled even once since he was eighteen and obsessed with mythology. For Turner, now thirty-eight years old, superstitions were like that. Something that couldn’t be recalled even if he tried. Something that his brain had erased on its own as useless. So Turner couldn’t understand why such a thing came to mind now, at this moment when he was facing an intruder.519acca84287fd99

That wasn’t the only thing he couldn’t understand.7165233cdd4be682

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“Mr. Owen Turner, right?”86a82b1213f7b85a

The intruder smiled. It was a dazzlingly bright smile. It would have been like that for Turner too if hadn’t met him as a homeowner and an intruder, and if the man hadn’t called him by the name ‘Owen’.a66a19c76f61ce99

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Owen. As the name was called, Turner’s body involuntarily flinched. How does he know?Turner had used 4aa1ea8fb7 the alias Oliver. Both at 6efc153e36 work and 544fa0c5f5 at the 8f6ac606ee multifamily residential, 133209bd59 everyone knew a8580ab676 Turner as d3c0023432 Oliver Turner. Only his family, fiancée, 00e8f3333a and his family called c5d41aba32 him Owen. At least b3568400df until five a6147d9a23 seconds ago 38a0c243c5 when he 989c910422 heard, ‘Mr. Owen Turner, right?’a2a1270b4e27e443

Turner didn’t answer. He just gripped the edge of the side table behind him. The intruder glanced at Turner’s whitened knuckles.b4a2e19d9a9d24dc

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“Oh my, don’t be so tense. It was just a courtesy, I didn’t necessarily ask to hear a yes or no.”76a27f2d51b8c7ad

Turner’s grip on the side table edge tightened. How did he get 2448dd2232 in? The apartment door locks bb58611887 automatically when closed. The image of the building manager boasting that even the best thief in Bunch couldn’t pick it because it was such a sophisticated technology came to mind. He wanted to show the building manager this sight. This sight of having to face an intruder.e9b19a49a81b4f16

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Who could he be? Judging by his blonde hair, golden eyes, handsome features, and clear voice, Turner was certain he didn’t know him. If he had known him, he would have recognized him for sure. Such beauty is not easily forgotten.16caf2e6d7618908

Why would a stranger…?87e9db2ce0e1b4fd

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“I’m glad to meet you. Really. It wasn’t easy getting here.”b965d2f2a62a4dd7

The intruder didn’t care whether Turner was wary or not. A beaming smile appeared in the corners of the intruder’s eyes.3825d0d8425044a0

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“I thought you were Rapunzel for a second. Living locked up in an apartment complex where all the windows are closed, thick iron bars, there’s a security post, and armed security patrols in pairs. All I knew was that you were a man, in his thirties, with black hair and a slippery voice, but with just that, I searched every publishing house there is. I must have gone to at least three hundred places. The candidates were Brie Publishing, Nen Publishing, Krainer Publishing… and so on, there were about eight, and I almost got sick trying to deduce one by one. Well, I didn’t. Anyway, even after knowing it was Krainer Publishing, that wasn’t the end. Fraudulent contracts, Olive and Owen, family issues… There were many things. I’m sure it’d be interesting listening to all that. but…”a0ff024fb29e8282

The devil is said to have yellow eyes…915a3c49558b5eae

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So who exactly a33107bbb1 summoned this devil?85e7bc54a93bff5f

“First, I should ask why Mr. Shavonne isn’t here.”ac62afcb66e297f6

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The intruder raised his arm, glanced at his watch, and added. “It’s only five in the afternoon. You usually never let him leave at this time. You used to keep him persistently until dawn.”cc3ec0a0431e1eac

The momentary confusion at 97e17a6998 the unexpected name quickly 60adcdb9b7 passed. Turner quickly 20a3487d4e gathered his 010f7940fd thoughts. He needed 2bd3234505 to stay ce01f3d654 calm. Only by calmly organizing 20b0e5aaaf the situation and responding 0386f61151 calmly could he find efc6e67f09 a way out.56156b543f0c9453

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The intruder seemed to be an acquaintance of Shavonne. Given that he knew the work hours, he must be a close relative. Or maybe a roommate. Family? Friend? Lover? Whichever it was, it was certain that ‘he’ didn’t know about this person’s existence.83f48988c2e92682

‘He’ had said that Shavonne was a loner. That he had no family, no friends, no lover, so it would be easy for Turner to get close to him. He never hinted that Shavonne had such a close acquaintance who would even break into the heavily secured multifamily residential to find him.2a5f5cd263a98eec

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They didn’t even look similar enough to be family. His appearance was too different from Shavonne’s ideal type to be a lover. From what ‘he’ told him, Shavonne’s ideal type was a classic handsome man with black hair and blue eyes like Turner. He also said that Shavonne would reject even the most handsome man if he didn’t match his taste. Not family, not a lover. Then the only option left is a friend.6323f90f107ae1f1

“Is something wrong?”eab8119c8213e259

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The intruder asked. Turner, without relaxing his e6b140eff6 wary expression, asked back.d70db3f0f77f3d5a

“Who are you to demand that I explain my private affairs in detail?”f1adedee21486fb2

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“Oh.”b2a6328838fd7d54

The intruder e0239377ed made a 690e216fa5 sound that 6d0d03c9b4 could have 2b4521b834 been either f7a80ee5b3 a sigh d74de7370e or an f6630f7bf9 exclamation.34d858452f256721

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“That’s unexpected. Don’t people usually comply straightforwardly when an intruder makes demands? Because while you’re empty-handed, the intruder might have a gun, or a knife.”a61ccb4a8a7302f4

“…Do you have any of those things?”f4c4eb64dfcce7cf

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The wariness in Turner’s voice was palpable. To the naked eye, the intruder didn’t seem to have any weapons. But that was only ‘to the naked eye’. In reality, there could be a gun in the inside pocket of his coat, or a short knife hidden in his back pocket.70d439970c0147be

“Do I look like I do?”f0d1814a67389b13

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A playful smile appeared in the intruder’s eyes. It was neither a confirmation nor a denial, but even with just that, Turner knew he would have no choice but to answer the intruder’s questions. Yes, just answer. Whether he gives a truthful answer or a false one, he just needs to answer.763bcf96a3ab488c

In a 2b7a69f0ab brief moment, 3ef857c701 Turner quickly e29b46737d scanned the dd1090fe8e room. The first place his c677bc69d0 eyes landed was the 3808fb04c3 table with a bottle 6a51ad9518 of alcohol and one adf37b0a41 unbroken glass. The tablecloth was dragged e6ac6fdb21 onto the floor. Underneath it were 1aba35a003 pieces of broken 10217d5c98 glasses. Their sharp surfaces gleamed 9a866f3057 blue each time they 051e72773d caught the candlelight.c1e1b547ab003090

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The window area was also a mess. The curtains were crumpled and hardened candle wax was scattered around. Not just inside the house, but outside must be just as bad. The burning candles, the coat soaked in absinthe, papers, and cloth that were in front of the door…61a47cc889ca2c62

It was too much 8e45df804b of a mess to f76147ccee pretend nothing had happened. Turner decided not to fe741a24a5 tell an obvious lie. It would be troublesome 1c205dcf0c if it raised suspicion.90446cc453ece6a8

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Turner began c1bc3b4989 to speak.b2a9c723c743a25d

“You know, Mr. Shavonne has a thing for handsome men.”a9a7478fe182082d

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Lies are most effective 96632f2339 when mixed with 99% 19e672cf1d truth and 1% lie. Pretending to be f95cb527fe hesitant to speak, 7ef8ad803e Turner continued slowly.95c0a4f4b9bef6ca

“Mr. Shavonne… wanted to sleep with me.”574c28759eafb6b7

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The intruder’s smile froze. Turner didn’t notice.7d881fb129d4d2ab

“Today was our last day working together. We drank to commemorate it… that was a mistake. Whether he was really drunk or just pretending, anyway, Mr. Shavonne, with a flushed face, suddenly said ‘let’s sleep together for just one night’. Even when I refused, he didn’t care and started taking off his clothes. He took off his shirt, undid his belt… When he was about to take off his pants, I stopped him, saying we shouldn’t do this. Then Mr. Shavonne got very angry. He grabbed a candle and swung it around, even threatening to burn down the whole house. Then he said he’d burn me alive with this house, gathered candles, absinthe, and things to use as kindling, and ran out. Fortunately, it didn’t catch fire. Given that I’m still alive now…”b55843853d6834c7

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It was a lie that would be exposed as soon as the intruder talked to Shavonne. But it didn’t matter. By the time the intruder talked to Shavonne, Turner would have already called the police. He intended to put them in jail. Shavonne for assault, and this intruder, Shavonne’s friend, for breaking and entering.4adf46ac87af9d26

If they say the crime isn’t serious enough to sentence them to prison, he would pull some strings. His fiancée’s father was a judge who had the legal world wrapped around his finger, and his fiancée’s mother was a businesswoman with strong ties to the media world, so there was nothing he couldn’t do.138eb85417988ecb

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Of course, he would let the intruder rot in jail for 5 years but get Shavonne out. He would like that. Well, he couldn’t help but like it after coming out of a hellishly awful prison. If he coaxes him little by little, he might soon believe Turner to be his savior and follow him around. He just needs to seize that opportunity and date Shavonne.b205edd64a9da08a

“If he took off his shirt, you must have seen Mr. Shavonne’s scars. No, there’s no way you couldn’t have seen them. His chest to stomach is all covered in scars.”fa6a4265a6921245

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He must be a close acquaintance judging by the fact that he knows Shavonne’s naked body. Thinking this, Turner nodded. He didn’t forget to put on a sympathetic expression.09734f2d379385af

“I saw them. I wonder how he got such scars… it was heartbreaking.”4536c6a992491aec

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“Yes, it would be heartbreaking. If Mr. Shavonne really had scars on his body, that is.”81231b3f45133bf5

…His mouth dried up.d8e6f8885afa0d5d

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What is b9ca64a3a1 he thinking? The intruder could have caught him in the lie, but he didn’t do anything about it. As if he had lost interest, he turned around and approached the table. There was a crunching sound as the pieces of broken glass were crushed under his shoes.dadaac283236a219

The intruder picked up the glass on the table. He lifted it to eye level and examined it from various angles in the reflected light. Turner couldn’t see because the intruder’s back was blocking his view.286e411868c297fd

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“Did Mr. Shavonne drink absinthe?”878ead602b4cfab8

A flat voice came from the intruder’s mouth. Since his back was turned, Turner couldn’t see his expression. Turner racked his brain. Shavonne had drunk champagne. To be precise, one and a half glasses of champagne. Unless one has an exceptionally low alcohol tolerance, that amount wouldn’t make one drunk.40961d336016b6a4

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But saying that would contradict Turner’s testimony that Shavonne was drunk enough to suddenly say ‘let’s sleep together for just one night with a flushed face’. Moreover, he couldn’t reveal that he had spiked the drink with a fast-acting drug.cf52e12597e65269

In the end, there e674bed411 was only one answer f5266f7258 Turner could give.720219415d751b6f

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“Yes.”9844c4ead8162063

“Then you drank champagne, Mr. Turner?”aeedc88421b3bf2c

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“Yes.”88ce5b1a91927f0f

“Interesting. Usually, people don’t put foreign substances in the drink they’re drinking themselves.”b348dff60e09b4ea

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His body stiffened.bdc8d679821abe2a

“How did you happen to put it in?”c4bbef4cd66889e5

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Confusion sealed Turner’s lips. The drug Turner had obtained was in powder. It had no taste and no smell. It was white, so it couldn’t be distinguished from the color of champagne. Of course, it would be a different story in a bright place, the powder could be detected, but it wasn’t bright now. Neither earlier when he was with Shavonne nor now with the intruder, the house was dark. An ordinary person’s eyes could never detect the powder.974b313efbe3387c

But…48a53c91b72c7924

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Just as he was 3e92a05ace thinking, the intruder turned 9a6618c826 and looked at Turner. It was 48be2d9c77 that same de2256e2eb smiling face.9de028aff9824a47

“Think carefully before you answer. Don’t tell such obvious lies like before. It’s embarrassing for me to hear.”2656425b357eb4d2

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However, no matter what answer he gave, the chances of the intruder believing Turner were slim. From the moment Turner had fallen for the intruder’s leading question, what he had to do was already decided.5c02982a0d069d0a

Turner inconspicuously loosened his dfb7f85535 grip on the corner 4ecbb7fde2 of the nightstand. He felt along dd7f8a2594 the surface to 2e39ef7817 find the phonograph. He began c66151a607 searching for 0f4324188e the record. The smooth 6b84e4bb7e contours of 2ddbbadd85 the record f3405a15af surface brushed 37cce4f5b7 against his cf049d738e fingertips.b7429ca46ed0fc2f

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“I don’t know anything about it.”1c0b2f7fab33a8e8

“Yes, of course you don’t.”2d6e36b9bb611645

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An indifferent reply. Then the intruder began looking around the house with leisurely steps. Lifting the piano lid and pressing random keys, pulling back the lace curtains decorating the closet, fiddling with the nose of a wooden figurine on the shelf…f73cf625c0cc82dd

“Nice house. Shavonne must have liked it, I imagine.”9c043b16bb26bf34

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Did he think he had already won? The intruder’s back was completely defenseless as he walked around absorbed in examining the house. Turner kept his eyes fixed on the intruder’s back as he picked up the record. He broke it in half without making a sound. He intended to show him. That if you let your guard down, you’ll get a knife in the back of your head. Well, in this case it wasn’t a knife but the broken edge of a record. But in any case, as long as it was sharp, it was all the same.3de8e6f86d1f4371

Turner charged. Gripping the half record tightly. Five steps ahead. The intruder who had been fiddling with the wooden figurine’s nose turned to look at Turner. He was slow. Very slow. So Turner didn’t think he would fail.f0cec244d0ca0b56

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The next moment, the 81208f46fb first thing Turner became 2d7f260e68 aware of was not ec9afd51e6 his lost sense of 17c165818b balance, not his inverted f4e8b3445d vision, not the floor 9f1d8e6631 pressing against his face, c43ff7b361 but a sharp pain. In front of the 0ee71ceb1f table. Shards of 4b9ee4d623 a broken 8047d1ccae glass were fff111234a piercing his adc74baf64 fallen hand.fe5a832076c8c3b4

A groan escaped between his lips. The half record he had been gripping was suddenly flung far away. A shadow moved over the record rolling on the floor. It was the intruder’s shadow.b28067c54f4b6dd4

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Turner saw the shadow move. He saw the shadow step on his hand. He felt the large and small glass shards digging into his hand. Turner couldn’t even scream. Only choking sounds burst from between his teeth. Blood spread across the floor.d15ee9d59bac3aa0

The man picked up the bottle on the table. He smashed it forcefully against the edge of the table. Glass shards scattered. The champagne that had been inside poured over the back of Turner’s head. It soaked his head, ran down his neck, and seeped into his clothes. The smell of champagne was strong.2192941997227d6c

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The intruder placed the broken bottle in front of Turner’s eyes. He could see drops of champagne trickling down the jagged broken edges. It was right in front of his nose. Turner trembled, unable to even close his eyes.37ab2d308054d76f

The intruder crouched down. He grabbed Turner’s hair and lifted his face. The intruder tilted his head and looked at Turner’s face. With eyes so gentle it was hard to believe this was the person who had just knocked Turner down.015d15bad06ab8aa

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“You’re handsome.”4c4e57806215b804

Long, slender fingers played with Turner’s hair. “Such black hair,” then touched Turner’s eyes. When Turner instinctively tried to close them, the intruder gently warned that if he didn’t want his eyelids cut off, he should keep them open.c88efdce70c9fd9d

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Finally, the fingers touched Turner’s eyes. They pressed firmly on the slippery eyeballs and then stroked them in circles. “And such blue eyes.” The fingertips with their broken nails covered Turner’s world. His eyes didn’t close out of fear. As if he had forgotten how to close his eyelids.60293d2beffc21c2

“Shavonne must have liked you, I imagine.”977949f10a526fa5

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As the hand withdrew, the next moment Turner had to face the intruder again. The intruder was still staring at Turner’s face. But, but… Turner’s breath caught involuntarily.cbb92b11acbc6ebd

The intruder’s eyes were rolling wildly. Like a madman.31701d661fc021ab

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“I’m jealous.”cc15e1e805396450

It was hard to believe those eyes had been gentle just moments ago. Through those eyes, Turner read greed. Not greed directed at Turner, but greed directed at Turner’s ‘face’.5303d3104e3709cc

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“If only I could flay off your skin and steal your face, I would have gouged it out the moment I saw you. Your head too, and your eyes. I would have even pulled out that slick tongue of yours.”8da89f8e2f8a3f6d

His body trembled. He couldn’t stop. Turner saw raw desire for the first time. He also realized for the first time that raw desire could be this barbaric. A fear Turner had never experienced before, whether in reality or nightmares, overwhelmed his body.ca6602a5d819c2d0

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His hair was released. The recoil sent Turner falling face-first onto the floor. The glass shards dug into his body again. Turner didn’t feel the pain. His senses were too numb with fear to feel pain.a912336610e1f989

The intruder dusted 80624b77c8 off his hands 6acd89bb0b and stood up 654cdd92aa lightly. His face was 18ac8f7664 suddenly as nonchalant 49466e23ba as if nothing 2c3d02846d had happened. Turner wondered 65005dd1be if all 2cd8000522 the smiles f2ae0c0fac the intruder 5d2db682ae had shown d7b703c2c2 until now 514a7bafe8 were just 7204121432 facades. When the facade 6f48aeb3f1 comes off, the 8cf14f1d09 true nature is d64bd7b716 revealed. It was obvious what 0586fa2612 that true nature was. Those wildly rolling 6960b44cad eyes. Greed. Raw barbarism.6740b04cf8667769

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“Mr. Turner, I need to get home by six.” The intruder pointed at his watch. 5:23 PM. Turner couldn’t believe he had only been with the intruder for about 20 minutes. “Since he came home early for once, I’m planning to make dinner for Mr. Shavonne. Onion bagels, onion steak, and onion omelet. It’ll take at least three hours to make everything.”c23d37d66f54c363

The intruder said, “I’ll give you ten minutes, so tell me what happened with Shavonne. You’re an editor, so you know how to talk, right? Simple, clear, and accurate.”f0873ca93d8ceae2

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“I’ve… already told you.”0c3fef72cf11d5cf

Turner forced out his voice. If he revealed that he had tried to rape Shavonne, he didn’t know what would be done to him, and if he didn’t reveal it, he still didn’t know what would be done to him. He was at a dead end with no way out.a634e41cca93a497

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“I don’t want to hear your lies.”d67d60cbffdbbb60

The intruder looked down at Turner. Turner couldn’t get up. He couldn’t even move his body. Even though glass shards were embedded in his arms and legs, leaving him covered in blood, he couldn’t move.c6d72b5373a9a973

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“How about one of those for each lie you tell? What do you think?”6bced026e9d29e31

The intruder pointed at ‘those’. They were glass shards.93d5cb668a9a3b6d

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“You’re going to stab me?”66a1021c09cd361f

“Of course not. Where on that body of yours is left to stab?”b199012080860dc7

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The intruder smiled.940e59a27c72d80b

“I’m going to feed them to you.”ce21b0f549db39b7

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Turner imagined pain that shouldn’t be possible to feel. The pain of glass shards turning the inside of his mouth into a bloody mess, the pain of them slicing his esophagus, the pain of them tearing his organs to shreds felt as vivid as reality. Turner’s face turned pale. The intruder paid no attention as he took off his watch. He dangled it on the table where Turner could see.31c605f46a560fbb

“Now. Let’s begin.”72e4efc1986873f9

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“Just ten minutes, okay?” The intruder’s eyes gleamed in the darkness as he gave the warning with a vivid golden color that didn’t seem human at all.e6a082e52bd30b90

The devil is 6ea9faa0d0 said to have 578cbd5eab yellow eyes.1784817d5f57abc6

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It was a superstition that Turner hadn’t recalled even once since he was eighteen and obsessed with mythology. To the now thirty-eight year old Turner, superstitions were like that. Something you couldn’t recall even if you tried. Something useless that the brain had erased on its own. So Turner couldn’t understand why such a thing came to mind in that moment as he faced off against the intruder.74efff2cc0586ac6

Turner realized far cb869ff7fb too late that 251029968d it was because 107d5f20bc of an instinct 9325504c80 sensing danger.f8a274551344d04b

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***4011cfe93c62c6ea

When Shavonne arrived home, bb58b4ec7a he found onion bagels, a410f8b257 onion steak, onion omelet, 808ad33d2c and a large sack 554f77ac8a tied with a red 7c9f9fa57a ribbon. Something was wriggling inside 1aa6183663 the sack. Very faintly, like 4dc50a6c42 a creature on ea8caa8f9d the verge of d8fafc227d death.431329891530dfab

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‘An animal?’8f88cfbce992050e

That was the thought that came to mind as soon as he saw the sack. It wasn’t entirely unfounded, as all the sacks Shavonne had seen until now had contained food ingredients.2bdc48541d5d8293

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Usually, sacks that didn’t move contained carrots, potatoes, or pumpkins, while moving sacks contained small animals about to be slaughtered. That’s how it was with sacks delivered from the butcher shop less than three hours ago – the small animals couldn’t even move around because they were packed so tightly there was no empty space. All they could do was wriggle their bodies.bb1f00117dca74de

That’s how all the sacks were that Shavonne had to forcibly carry when he was at the orphanage or had to see at the grocery store. Though Shavonne himself had never bought a sack containing small animals, thinking it was inhumane.2cad251e5642ac57

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The next moment, 7af55ce753 a thought flashed 17fd090b31 that something was 80fb79f31c odd.180d1ff9d7846b34

Sacks contain small animals. Literally ‘small’ animals like ducks, wild rabbits, or wood pigeons. Naturally, the size of the sacks wasn’t very large either. Even at their biggest, they were only about the size of an adult man’s arm.d3bf76007786c117

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But the sack in front of him wasn’t like that.48d5fc4208258817

It was big. Not just the size of an adult man’s arm, but big enough for an adult man to fit his entire body inside.3e44c25b2bb7e9e4

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A chill ran down his spine. The stains on the sack caught his eye. At first glance he had thought they were just stains you’d expect on cheap fabric, but now they strangely seemed like bloodstains. Even though he tried to brush it off as his imagination, his heightened nerves wouldn’t let him ignore the sack. Large sack, dark stains, big enough for an adult man to fit inside with room to spare, bloodstains… The words spun round and round in his head.75e61c5f5de1b0b4

Could it be…7ffd730c35cabbd5

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Just as he d27fe0c1b1 reached out his 42cc5ab901 hand toward the 26a52ce00d sack.887eeada5392090b

“Mr. Shavonne, you’re home?”b2919648c923966f

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A voice came from behind him. It was Lewellyn’s voice. Before turning around, Shavonne had to make an effort to calm himself. Act like usual. Like usual when he kept ninety-nine bits of distance, not leaning or relying on him, not loving him too much.e31dbc2c49f7ae1c

“I’ve been waiting.”a026e326c24e1340

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Lewellyn was d404e0c551 holding a 8adf9e28fb toolbox. He seemed to have d9e04822a8 just taken it out. His face framed by dfb8a85058 fine hair looked clean. Shavonne lowered his gaze 1755e65238 to the toolbox inconspicuously.6d001f3f0c759c12

“…You promised you wouldn’t wait.”b9cdc3ec1618e907

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“I did.” Lewellyn smiled brightly. “But I’ve decided to start speaking with a forked tongue from now on. So I can’t keep that promise anymore.”6a0c54a21422cc0f

It was meant as a joke, but Shavonne couldn’t laugh. He just stared down at the lid of the toolbox with a stiff face. Lewellyn probably didn’t know. With what feelings Shavonne had told him not to wait. If he knew, he couldn’t have done this.304c6607aa35082c

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“You don’t like it?”f9557b37fcf96f2b

Lewellyn leans in close and asks. His eyes sparkled with mischief. Shavonne turned his head away. Lewellyn took Shavonne’s cheeks in his hands and turned him to face him.ead2bbc49fa08346

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“Why? Do you hate the sight of me because I’m being petty?”d790498375cf6ef5

No way. Shavonne reluctantly opened his mouth, not wanting Lewellyn to misunderstand. He didn’t know he would be interrupted before he could finish speaking.068042af90b648ac

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“You know that’s not poss…”4cbedf6c0b26e7cc

“Or is it that you suddenly feel guilty because you’ve hidden everything – that someone was making advances on you, that you were being used, that you were insulted – you’ve hidden it all?”2c886977ec28b6d7

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Shavonne held his breath. Meanwhile, Lewellyn still wore a gentle smile as if nothing was wrong. Lewellyn’s hands, which had been holding Shavonne’s cheeks, slowly stroked under Shavonne’s eyes. Lewellyn’s body temperature was imprinted wherever his touch landed. It was cold.d461d8c6a6fd2983

“I was very… very hurt by you, Mr. Shavonne.”e839b6c7ab165db0

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Lewellyn’s hand rested on his shoulder.8b8b64ebf4447c58

“You know that I had no choice.”3d54cbc819ccd7cd

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For a moment, a strange light gleamed in Lewellyn’s eyes. Shavonne suddenly felt cold. It felt like a chill was running over his shoulders.ba00a10a6cf23c98

“You were insulted, used, and even received unwanted advances, and you didn’t tell me any of it. How… how could I not be hurt?”8656cedf30b66b75

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His voice was precarious. Like someone 2290a36948 barely holding 2122f280e9 onto their fda2994bdc sanity.bc385580948888c6

Shavonne calmly removed Lewellyn’s hand from his shoulder. There was no resistance. It fell away smoothly.94d6bf9cbafb959a

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“Lewellyn.”4410df892c6154e0

Shavonne called.b0ab87f51ecd44f4

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“What is that?”38be1cfe30d6eaae

The sack had stopped moving, then wriggled slightly, almost imperceptibly, then stopped again, repeating this pattern. The red ribbon tightly binding the mouth of the sack wasn’t the kind of string typically used for wrapping gifts. It was rope.7735d5f9d411ca94

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“As you can see, it’s a gift. When you receive something, you must give a gift in return. I received a cushion last time, so I thought I should give something in return, and I happened to see that.”237464de7a2c6822

What was in the sack wasn’t a duck. It wasn’t a wild rabbit or a wood pigeon either. This fact was obvious, yet Lewellyn insists on calling it ‘that’. Shavonne stepped back. A shiver went down his neck.6a5b9cf565af2c6d

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He sat cd0c98a93c in front 28a5836aaf of the 9c4cdb2117 sack and c43800a765 untied the 93577567d0 rope binding 4a5f6e4771 its mouth. When he pulled, 5b94e5ee7e it came undone 7b238e0697 easily. His hand stung from 12b30c0670 touching the rough hemp. A reddish sensation 4bf5eae152 spread across his 3752801c9b palm. Ignoring this, he opened 01c9b67c01 the sack.abd174091267e71f

Inside the opened sack, a familiar head was visible. Black, shiny, curly hair. At first glance it looked like it was clumped with grease, but upon closer inspection, that wasn’t the case. It was matted with sticky blood. He could feel trembling from inside. Intermittent sounds of someone choking back sobs could be heard. Shavonne was frozen. Neither opening nor closing, just gripping the sack tightly.e461401a1c047715

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Lewellyn, who 139210a6b1 had been 77f7d18049 watching silently, a930f6fffe spoke.f2982fde922ade04

“Shall I help you?”1cc70871588f53aa

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At that voice, the trembling that had been felt even through the sack stopped. The sound of choking back sobs stopped too. Shavonne was certain this was due to the fear imprinted in ‘that thing’s’ mind. What could he have done? What could he have done to make someone terrified just from hearing his voice? Shavonne couldn’t even begin to imagine.e360342e8faad57c

Shavonne answered wordlessly by opening the sack wide. Inside, as expected, was Turner. Turner’s body was all dark red with blood. It smelled fishy. Dark red clots were formed on his eyelids, nostrils, and where his dimples would be.1927ff435e3957ba

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Whether due to the dark bruises on his eyelids or swelling, his eyes wouldn’t open easily. His cheekbones had collapsed and his nose was broken. His lips were split, and the briefly visible gums were crushed, with nearly half of his once straight teeth missing. It was a sight too horrific to look at.1cea3b0acf8d12f7

That’s when it happened. Turner’s eyes, barely opened, caught sight of Shavonne. Turner’s eyes widened.0483c754fda29e2d

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The next moment, Shavonne 7179fb1ff0 saw Turner clinging to 3e8a08a222 his feet.3b54e918742bec5b

Turner buried his face in the toe of Shavonne’s shoe. Then he rubbed against it. Every time Turner moved, his hair covered in blood did too. It was as if he was cleaning the toe of Shavonne’s shoe with his face and hair.58ae20d363bdef1c

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Turner constantly mumbled sounds that could have been groans or screams. Mixed with crying, and perhaps because his teeth were gone or his tongue was crushed, the pronunciation was so unclear that it was impossible to understand. By the time Shavonne realized that the words he kept mumbling were “I’m sorry,” Turner was already looking up at him.b3b4b872bfee62fc

A face stained with tears and snot. But even those tears and snot were not enough to wash away the bloodstains covering Turner’s face. The words “Please forgive me” burst from Turner’s mouth.4610fe55733c330a

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Shavonne, barely suppressing the revulsion rising to his throat, began to put Turner back into the sack. Turner wailed. “I’m sorry, please forgive me, I’m sorry…” Shavonne ignored him and pressed down hard on Turner’s head. Turner was desperate not to go in. No matter how much he was pressed down, his head sprang up.dfb46e84aec04bf9

He managed to stuff 20e704b95b Turner into the sack. To prevent him from 81fc2ae115 getting out, he quickly 39280c2774 closed it and placed b9a787d7ae a heavy chair on 495159882f top. He was 7c005f08c6 out of c0edaa8e95 breath. Shavonne wiped 487df57265 his sweaty 616c5bf2ca forehead with 25e1ab1815 the back b385013a0c of his fe4d7a0e5c hand. At the same 1ad7a4400b moment, an unexpected 6b8dc5ff69 smell of blood 6826e485cd stung his nose.91af92328178246b

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Startled, he saw that blood had stained his hand without him realizing. It seemed to have happened while he was pressing down on Turner’s head to put him in the sack. Shavonne immediately wiped it off. Although the stain was quickly erased, the smell of blood didn’t go away. It was nauseating. It was a stench that involuntarily made him grimace.170c6d9b45dcb428

“Do you like it?”ebfefc740a2f6fe3

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A laughing voice 6769382e85 was heard from 5b00a0ce87 behind. Turning around, he ba615e463a saw Lewellyn grinning. With a face that ea1063d760 seemed to believe without 4ff001d29b a doubt that Shavonne 769e76d8f3 would be pleased.70ac7237568e49a7

Shavonne stood up and faced Lewellyn. Although anger filled his throat, he held it back. Although the desire to rebuke filled his throat, he held that back too. However, despite his superhuman patience, he couldn’t hide the agitation in his voice.c49f1dfa20bac19f

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“Take him back.”10864ffc730ee276

As Shavonne spat f8734b185b this out, the fe8fcd27b2 corner of his c8873fbbba eye twitched slightly. Lewellyn tilted a031ee0688 his head. His hair fell along 71737a4b1b his slender jawline.fdbb038cfdbf4fd2

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“You mean put him away where he can’t be seen?”085c4890f74b9377

“Don’t pretend to not understand me. Take this person back. Right now.”f2c232054ecc2b96

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Shavonne wasn’t focusing on the fact that Turner had been beaten to a pulp. Beaten to a pulp? Served him right. Being beaten to a pulp wasn’t enough. He wished he had been stabbed. He wished he had been poisoned and strangled too. He wished he had died like a fish on a cutting board, with its gills cut, scales peeled off, and entrails removed. But he hoped, he needed, the person doing it to absolutely not be Lewellyn.80042d54c2703fd7

If Lewellyn gets caught for this…, then…b4fd070e3923a306

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Emotions welled up involuntarily. Shavonne couldn’t hold back and shouted.f2a007baf957fb20

“Lewellyn, don’t you understand? You’ve committed a crime now. A crime that can’t be fixed! Why on earth did you do such a thing…”723a6cce8c16c36d

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“‘Why on earth’?”67d1c28b0c26f4de

The sentence was a658a1ba59 cut off.cf101d9008ca7e29

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Shavonne was c14eb7dd98 momentarily stunned 51d3060a04 by the 50f390991b unexpected words.Did I hear wrong? Or…? Before he could make up his mind, Lewellyn’s voice rang out again. The clearly enunciated syllables pierced his ears.9d49a8d664de37ab

“Why, on earth?”91518846015987d9

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Lewellyn’s voice was sharp.37e14848ba2e6c57

“I don’t understand ‘why on earth’ Mr. Shavonne didn’t tell me anything. I was hurt. I was so hurt that… every time I thought about why you did it, what circumstances made you not give me any hint, I felt like I was rolling in mud. It made me feel like I was worse than your typewriter. Like I was worse than your pillow and worse than your blanket. No matter how much I try not to, I keep feeling jealous. Of your typewriter, your pillow, your blanket… I’m jealous of them all.”ca054a5142a90d5f

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“…”6b5f78d8c8680121

“Why did you do it, Mr. Shavonne? Because I’m not worthy enough to confide in? Because it’s obvious I wouldn’t be of any help? Because I’d only get in the way? Or…”1342aee55723bb97

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Lewellyn forced 9dfbb172b2 a smile, 64ebb15a9c pulling up 3ad7508c18 the corners 9a407603ae of his 4a7dcacfc7 mouth. Be it luck or e9669ef8b4 misfortune, Shavonne knew that e34c2f51ae this was an action 71ac5c4df4 for his sake.d997255e2007b4d9

“Are you tired of me?”b1e5e30fce46a1f4

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It felt 2487b295fd like something ea66959c4e was stuck 4719693ab2 in his fc4c206710 throat.3977090b938cbe8b

“Are you tired of me? Because I don’t have black hair, because I don’t have blue eyes, because I don’t have neat nails or a smooth body without scars… Is that why you did it?”3817857353674084

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Absolutely not.Shavonne squeezed out 6eba628f56 his voice with af781366eb difficulty to answer.cc8d4fa62b9ee2dc

“That’s not it.”46b59df3c339fa17

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“Then what?”e7ba6a7e5f2fdc62

Lewellyn was still forcing a smile. Shavonne couldn’t bear to look.eecdf596220eb880

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“Then why did you tell me not to wait, and why did you give me a cushion to hug when you’re not there? Why didn’t you stroke my hair when I slept, why didn’t you kiss me, why didn’t you hug me?”5b779be51ad1cdac

Lewellyn probably knew that Shavonne hid both the publishing company and the editor. He probably even knew that Shavonne switched the letters at that time to protect Turner. It was natural for Lewellyn to fester. Only Shavonne didn’t know.7edd9904f91482ae

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Shavonne wanted to clean 911873be23 Lewellyn. He wanted to wash b26bb6de94 him with water or 2ea63c94f4 apply disinfectant, or wipe 11693e8f8e him with a clean 21c2706cf9 cloth.d3d6ec59943e47a5

But how 6de8050c20 could Shavonne 202bf2beb8 dare?691c04adc46ff398

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“I was so hurt. That’s all.”126235e4912df276

Lewellyn finished. He didn’t seem to expect Shavonne to explain himself. Shavonne was about to say something, but at that moment he couldn’t because of a rustling sound from somewhere. The sack. Shavonne only then realized that the problem with Turner was urgent.4b7ed862c4dbebae

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“We need to take him back.”246371ecc6493110

Shavonne said.fb3d39ce3ac1abb9

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“This man is not just anyone. I mean, he’s not the kind of person the police wouldn’t care about whether he’s kidnapped or not. This man is rich. He says his family is influential too. And he’s not the type to meekly overlook being kidnapped and assaulted. And…”a73feb86260540fe

“Mr. Shavonne. I don’t commit crimes that can’t be fixed.”124758df09305b59

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Lewellyn smiled. It was impossible 85f13e846d to tell if 21ba0d31bb it was a 1c27df85b2 genuine smile or 98e0fcdb00 not.035bdf1b06df7671

“He’ll become a beggar. It doesn’t matter whether his family is influential or not. Even if he were royalty, it wouldn’t be a problem. He’ll give in easily.”41821c2a57c8150f

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Surely he doesn’t mean to kill him, right?Shavonne looked at Lewellyn 21f036e5bb with eyes betraying his 67b2c896de anxiety.cc5bd5f6ed1b1f65

“I’m not thinking of killing him. You said you’d leave if I killed anyone. You know that I obey any order you give.”39c58dcd82f93151

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After finishing his explanation, Lewellyn immediately shrugged and added, “Of course, except for telling me not to wait, to sleep hugging the cushion, to take that one back, and so on.”37d186c049bbaaf9

It didn’t make sense.8a040d4883089d93

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“Then why did you bring him here?”0e7cf4ef4d8e32f4

“He played with you, Mr. Shavonne.”0ae1c18a0aa92c63

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Lewellyn laughed. “I thought Mr. Shavonne might want to play with him too. Games are more fun when they’re reciprocal, aren’t they?”9b77d1a17fe4136d

Shavonne frowned slightly. “And after I ‘play’ with this person? What happens next?”bba83c8db2e44b23

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“Of course, I’ll play with him. I’ve even made plans for how to play with this one. What do you think? Aren’t you curious?”c7b1d0f5dc2546fe

“No, I’m not.”4f93ba8867d955c5

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Shavonne was no saint. He didn’t want to be one either. He won’t care what happens to Turner. No, he’ll rather be glad. However, he decided not to listen to how Lewellyn would ‘play’. He was sure it would upset him if he heard it.c6e950c1ad1a9cf6

He looked down at the sack. Until just now, it had been twitching slightly, but now there was no particular movement. While Lewellyn’s desired ‘play’ would probably involve violence, Shavonne had no such intention. He might kick it at most, but he wouldn’t smash the face like Lewellyn did. There was only one thing Shavonne wanted to do.cad67eebcd81394d

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He wanted to ask e19e974e4f why.85c299bb06e6339f

Why did he deceive Shavonne? Why… did it have to be Shavonne? What did he hope to gain by deceiving Shavonne, who was, as Turner said, merely a ‘nameless ghostwriter’?36f99c9a206cfaa7

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“I’ll make room for you. Use it.”02507b01bba46fe6

Lewellyn held out the toolbox he was holding. “Put it there,” Shavonne replied. He had no intention of using it, but it might be needed.1ab3ca4f20487b2b

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When he opened the sack, Turner appeared. No wonder he wasn’t moving; he had fainted. He wasn’t dead. There was a pulse. As he dragged out the entire body, his limbs were revealed. They were covered in blood, which had dried, turning his entire limbs black. His legs were bent at an odd angle, and his arms were stiff, either broken or something.413ba99acc0350de

Shavonne’s eyes twitched at the sight of blood. Lewellyn glanced at Turner and said in a voice that showed no sympathy at all, “Oh, what a shame. Should I cut his tendons for you?”59f61df28631e3a1

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“No.”469ba9cfa1f0a490

“Should I pull out his fingernails and toenails for you?”c7e9733288c9b248

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“No.”38ba97275550742a

“He might scratch you.”abff3ffd248bf4ca

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“It’s fine.”d17593b0ac308a48

Shavonne said, “Come back in thirty minutes.” Lewellyn agreed. While Lewellyn was preparing to leave room 303, Shavonne shook Turner’s body. He didn’t wake up. He slapped his cheek. Still, he didn’t wake up. He hit him hard several times with resentment, but it was the same. Shavonne was perplexed.b46fa28bcf26522c

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Fortunately, Lewellyn was just about to leave the house. Shavonne stopped Lewellyn just as he was stepping out the door. Lewellyn poked his face through the not-yet-closed door. As if asking ‘What’s the matter?’, Lewellyn’s eyes shone towards Shavonne.81f88a050e81b0ba

“Um… how do I wake that up?”6db682e8d637bf43

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Shavonne asked. Lewellyn answered 01de92d97f lightly while 9e1a3ab7ab putting on 46dcfd05cf his hat.c985ab91764bb73d

“Break one of his fingers.”a2527baef6c03c29

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The door closed. Soon, someone’s scream echoed loudly inside the closed door.cfbd8a4991966a76

“What’s all that noise?”6f7297c4911ed58d

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In front of eae158625f room 303. A voice was 00eae2055c heard from above. Lewellyn, who was leaning 92b6747b6f against the door with 404dbe351b his arms crossed, raised df74fc2b09 his head to identify a3a61fb01c the owner of the 8ad7e641d2 voice. It was f94526cb0c a familiar 07b2881dc1 face. Mrs. Isadora from upstairs.a8ebd00d926b989a

“Kids playing.”a351d453447cfbb1

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Lewellyn answered.f7dea2f3bada885a

Mrs. Isadora said,24201388a5c63fd4

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“Don’t let them play too late.”2e799beed0cd31be

Mrs. Isadora grumbled that these days, there were too many young people playing too late, and she couldn’t get a good night’s sleep at all. She didn’t forget to threaten that because of not being able to sleep at night, her migraine that had disappeared 5 years ago was about to come back, and if it did, she would bill him for the medical expenses. Lewellyn said he would keep that in mind. Only after repeated warnings did Mrs. Isadora leave the front of room 303.ab2264df3755db47

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Lewellyn watched Mrs. Isadora’s retreating figure. Only when Mrs. Isadora’s figure was completely out of sight could he turn his gaze. To the gas lamp in the corridor, to the railing of the corridor, and beyond the railing of the corridor.d408f862b2c06fb6

It was snowing.19d1a85be0ab7570

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In front of the Ira Apartment, snowflakes were silently settling on the huge plane tree. One flake, two flakes, three flakes…, the slowly falling snowflakes soon became countless. The night was turning white in Bunch. A white night. It was the first snow of that winter.f68b89e71ee3981c

A moment later, a1241a3358 someone rushed out 1681cd6a6c of room 303. It was Shavonne. Shavonne, pale and c5137c2304 white after all f765c7759b the blood drained 6378042b99 from his face.6d291338e617184c

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Shavonne said 75ede697a7 he had a9df3be83f somewhere to 3311b82d98 go.5403feebd98a191d

***7b77b4bd2e04748b

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The carriage stopped.6fd83d075089117d

On a 2d871f12bf deserted night, 4e25764f2c snow was 0ae68e0219 falling into eae01b88ae a dark 7bbd8602d8 world where 32abbfe37f the only 5c26974edb thing shining 5566431c09 was the 79d7b866cc light of 596d305293 gas lamps. Shavonne poked his head f0963c52df out of the carriage 16bf9e5154 window to look at 3d072ccc83 the coachman. The incessant 1cb276f6f2 snow settled 7ee45b2028 on his 75272d0e68 head, neck, 01651ef2f5 and shoulders, 11b0195f17 melting coldly.e6dbb96a8aa7bc0e

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“I can’t go any further.”7ad18e5f9eb91b5d

The coachman said. The coachman’s finger pointed to the slope spread out in front of the carriage. No, more precisely, he was pointing at the snow piled on the slope.7b44db66109a3798

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Shavonne understood. It’s dangerous for a cheap carriage to go up and down a snow-covered slope. Is it just snow piled up? When it eventually turns into ice, it becomes even more dangerous. Even if we generously assume there’s no problem going up, there’s too high a possibility of slipping when coming down.Accidents where b195cfbd89 cheap carriages 0909d75cd4 overturn while 26c73a3c38 running on 91b03b27ed ice were e5004c089f not uncommon.428327e6a4837c12

As he got out d8ccc4cbac of the carriage, there 1a26120edf was a crunching sound 7a19e45bde of stepping on snow. The falling dd2cc80a02 snow made 5adaa1c2f7 his hair a2424c65b5 droop and b76efe5728 stained his 26303b4f7d clothes. Snow settled on 9178b6242f his exposed nape 2f98bf44ce and melted. A chill seeped into fb85539d88 every place the snow e68803aab0 touched.ffd6172f5bff4440

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Shavonne handed over the deb39df279 carriage fare. He also gave 2f9f74389e a tip as 36fafa00e4 usual. The coachman 8c9ca98a80 subtly rolled d0f3d5373f his eyes, 5207be0874 saying that cae570cac9 that was 3a2e7d84e8 too cheap f668a88aa5 a price d211192ee8 for taking d516b2f93c him this 9e60957164 far on c0cc716b8a this night, 7042768d09 this winter, c170379c00 this snowy d726fd559a day. Before the 9affac73fc coachman could 3cbc0196e5 finish saying f77413839a that carriage 4fe5c24c32 fares had aa163b1ea3 been raised f66e601e5d recently, Shavonne bf4fcf760c silently handed 307382e765 over all 722cd3c426 the money 31eca2db54 in his 0091e4c843 wallet. Only then 5d1db050eb did the e5c4382507 coachman smile 9793119b3e broadly.8c942578bc9ee076

Shavonne didn’t care. He couldn’t care. Whether the coachman was overcharging or not, that wasn’t what was important. Only one name was spinning dizzyingly in Shavonne’s mind. Like the snow swirling before his eyes.4c6eed78dc5b5c9b

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Fawkes.61a11b1732131529

The Fawkes mansion should have been visible by now, but it wasn’t. The view was all white, obscured by the swirling snow. The snowstorm slapped Shavonne’s cheeks. His cheeks were all red from the cold. The crunching sound of snow under Shavonne’s feet as he climbed the slope was followed by the sound of snow blowing, burying it. Shavonne thought it sounded like Turner’s breathing. Not the Turner who was showing off at the his home, but the Turner who was crawling like a maggot in the sack at the Ira Apartment.7b765eb5ad3e6d0c

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― I’m sorry, please spare me, I’m sorry…d8030807f793ecde

Inside room 303. As soon as Shavonne woke him up, Turner started begging like that. He buried his face in Shavonne’s shoe tip, trouser hem, and knee, and rubbed against them. Shavonne stepped back to prevent Turner from rubbing against him. The clinging body was disgusting. Knowing that Turner would never have said ‘I’m sorry’ if he hadn’t ended up in this state, Shavonne had no intention of accepting Turner’s begging.fc9d654a5ed36ab3

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But Turner was desperate. Perhaps he judged that he had a higher chance of survival by rubbing up against Shavonne, who ‘understands words’, rather than Lewellyn, who ‘doesn’t understand words’. Turner, crouched down like a stepped-on maggot, repeatedly banging his forehead on the floor. His forehead had wounds. Fresh blood began to flow on the forehead that had been only black with dried blood.5abbd7bd478b7498

Shavonne tried to stop him. Not so much out of concern for Turner, but because of the thought that if Turner died from banging his forehead like this, Lewellyn might take the blame when he was innocent . But that’s when it happened.c0a33a527f43da67

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― It was f61b2703a3 all your friend, 9cefcc46e8 your friend who e32ceefc79 ordered me to 38fa8ba3ea do it.488e48e76046df95

Shavonne stopped his hand eaa799dfb6 reaching out towards Turner.a41eafff49d1be7a

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My friend?bed9b9a87d3482fc

The only person Shavonne could call a friend was Doctor Fawkes. In other words, Turner’s claim was this: Doctor Fawkes ordered Turner to deceive Shavonne, to make a false confession saying ‘I love you,’ and to try to force a relationship.7afaef39fed6941d

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Nonsense.81dfea1fa2095d05

― I understand you want to get out of this situation, but don’t drag my friend or whatever into this. It’s disgusting.f9677c85311a4fcf

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― It’s true!1ce4d9cea8a9bc87

Turner shouted.0dcc28887d6a8912

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― I swear. If this is a lie, I don’t care if I die. Yes, I don’t care if that devil pulls out all my remaining teeth. Please believe me.4baeae80f5facc56

This was Turner, who was so afraid of Lewellyn that he would have a seizure just from hearing his voice. And now this Turner was swearing, swearing to die if he was lying, that he wouldn’t care if Lewellyn pulled out all his remaining teeth.6472d542533e2f28

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Can I believe him?beed699b41167980

Shavonne just looked down at Turner silently without showing any reaction. Turner didn’t miss that gap and shouted the rest. Every time Turner moved his lips, the dark red mass pooled in his mouth wriggled.c77fbd3576e43848

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― He told me to become your lover. And to report your every move. I don’t know why. I just wanted the money…c360619c990987ef

― Which one?bf8dd1554bb4ab23

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Shavonne asked.85ccaa25665a3d24

― Which one 603aed887c of my friends 96e0a6ed02 would order such 6545e3b78c insanity?c8412d927885df7f

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― I don’t know his name. He introduced himself as Mr. F.14a42c27c24f94c2

F. Strangely, he knew 3201d84873 that initial.82e5d24a8289c15a

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That’s when it happened. Turner suddenly asked to take out the wallet from his back pocket. He said the ‘evidence’ was there. Shavonne didn’t budge. It might be a trick. If he pounced on the opportunity when Shavonne came close, it would be a disaster.ee03d7e89f2616b0

Watching Shavonne not even move, Turner closed his eyes tightly and opened them again. Then he twisted his body to get the wallet out of his back pocket. He pushed it to send it flying to Shavonne’s feet. During the twisting of his body, the pain in his stiffened arms and bent legs must have been severe, as sweat beaded on Turner’s face covered in blood. Red sweat drops fell.49c55193e221aaec

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Shavonne picked up the wallet. When he opened it, cash, checks, and a letter from Turner’s fiancée came out. Except for the fact that the wedding was a month away, nothing noteworthy was written. It was an ordinary wallet. No, it was rather an unremarkable wallet.69ddab7bbd007e77

Until he found a 6458c51392 certain note.9281767b27c419e7

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It was a familiar handwriting that couldn’t be mistaken. Shavonne wanted to believe it wasn’t true, but he wasn’t blind. The handwriting could have been forged. Yes, maybe that could be the case. But the content?a99adbe581f1549a

The note listed things Shavonne liked and disliked in succession. With a footnote saying ‘reference’, it briefly described how he had met, dated, and broken up with his lovers so far. Decisively, it contained the plots of three novels Shavonne had written. It wasn’t the version submitted to the publisher. It was the version that Doctor Fawkes had read before submission.9b02e9af491b005b

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Shavonne’s hand holding the note turned pale white.359eff67c9332cc4

‘Shall I introduce you to someone?’e8bd51655d5d9e32

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‘He’s handsome. You only care about their faces, so you’ll surely like him.’8f96d5e399b87640

‘Meet him once and decide.’0e5eb3b9cfd54520

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He recalled the day fd103bd2a9 when Doctor Fawkes had 763449030b insisted on introducing someone. He had 47a9839a7b believed without 9de9b03fa0 doubt that 873b9dd0f2 it had cb1d37f569 been a 501442d262 gesture of 1ce2ca1344 friendship, but 18d309546d thinking that 2f8c556e25 it was cc3112b3e4 bait to 10139f0008 receive reports 0b02a1e3e2 on his dc08c39e7b every move 3d0eae3094 made his ad09459d7f throat close 7609f2d929 up. It felt like 1e7207aa94 he was out 646f5c623d of breath.fb0f9e471bd5bd76

Has this been the acd8ae6fbd first time?e7eabbcec57ab42d

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If not… since when?149cdc79cdb99df3

f34f39c04a90f27e

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