MHYFMAMD Ch 40
by rosey“You probably don’t understand it fully yet. I understand.”
“We just met today, after all.” Tenesia added.
“…No, actually, I knew. I knew there would be a ‘mother’ when I would go home. And that I’d have to call her ‘mother’ from now on…”
Hearing his words, Tenesia couldn’t help but smile a bittersweet smile.
He was only five years old. Although he was bigger than most children his age, he was still a very young child.
At the age where children throw tantrums and act spoiled, Arden was already trying to act like an adult, perhaps because he didn’t have a mother.
Tenesia’s heart ached, feeling as though it were all her fault.
“I’m not asking you to accept it immediately. You don’t have to call me ‘mother’ until you’re ready and understand with your heart, not just your head.”
Suddenly, Arden looked up, his eyes wide with surprise.
“But…”
“It’s alright. I’ll allow it.”
Tenesia added, speaking to the hesitant child.
“Also, your participation in the ceremony has already been discussed with Margrave. He said it’s fine if you want to join.”
“Really? Father said it’s okay?”
“Yes, really.”
Arden’s face lit up briefly with joy, but as the hesitation lingered, his expression slowly turned uncertain again.
“…No. I still don’t want to. I’m not sure I can do it. I’ll probably make a mistake.”
“Why do you think you can’t?”
“Because I make mistakes all the time…”
Arden’s hands, which Tenesia was holding, fidgeted nervously.
“Even Countess Olbeira always says I’m a troublesome child, every single day.”
That Countess again. Every time Arden hesitated, her name inevitably came up.
Tenesia began to wonder whether the Countess was really providing proper guidance.
“If that’s the case, don’t worry too much. Everyone makes mistakes when they try something new.”
“But… won’t I get scolded?”
“ Young Master …. No, Arden. There’s nothing more important to the Margrave than you.”
“Really…?”
“Really. Grace was the same way.”
“Do you know Mother?”
“Of course, I do. She was my friend.”
“Really? What kind of person… was she?”
“Hmm…”
Tenesia smiled for a moment, but then paused at the child’s sudden question. She hadn’t expected him to ask about his mother.
Noticing the brief pause, Arden lowered his head, his face turning red with embarrassment.
“Um, the thing is, I’ve never seen Mother… only in pictures, nothing else…”
It made sense since he had been separated from her as soon as he was born, but Arden seemed to be speaking as though it were something he should feel ashamed of, almost as if he had done something wrong.
“Hmm. She was a strong person. If it was for her family, she would make any decision or take any action, no matter how hard.”
Tenesia spoke cheerfully.
“She asked me to take care of Arden and said that if anything happened to her, I should tell you.”
“Me…?”
“Would you like to know?”
Arden nodded eagerly. Seeing his enthusiasm, Tenesia couldn’t help but smile brightly.
“Then I’ll tell you.”
“Yes!”
Arden’s cheerful response made Tenesia reach out and embrace him.
“Ah…”
“My beloved son.”
A small sound of a breath being caught was heard. Tenesia gently rubbed Arden’s back as he stiffened in her arms.
The child, who fit so perfectly into her embrace, seemed much bigger than she had seen with eyes. When he was born, he barely filled her palms, but now he was so large that she couldn’t wrap him with just one hand.
“Thank you for growing so well.”
Tenesia voiced the first thing she had wanted to say all along.
“Even without a mother, you’ve been trying to stay healthy and stick to a routine, haven’t you? Do you eat your meals well? No complaining about your side dishes?”
She chose her words carefully. With so many things to say, but limited time, she wanted to make sure she said the most important things.
“No matter what you do, I’ll be watching over you. I’ll always be cheering for you, no matter when, no matter where.”
“…”
“Even when you were in my belly, I felt the same way. Back then, now, and forever, you’ll always be my eternal joy.”
She didn’t want to make him feel any guilt. She hoped that he could be happy and live like everyone else, even without her by his side.
She could feel his tiny hand on her side, his shoulders trembling slightly, and his face pressing into her chest. Everything felt so vivid.
‘I’m alive.’
How wonderful it was to be alive. Tenesia hugged Arden a little tighter as he snuggled into her arms.
The warmth from the child’s body was so gentle, and the feeling of his small hands against her side was overwhelming.