MHYFMAMD Ch 23
by rosey‘Who needs me?’
If it weren’t for the breath tickling her ear, Tenesia would have thought she misheard. The warmth still lingered, almost as if it would melt her ear with its heat.
Her husband misses her.
It was such an absurd thought that she almost wondered if it was a misunderstanding. And the fact that it was true seemed even more surprising.
‘Dietrich… misses me?’
It must be because of her own guilt. She hadn’t really done much for him in return. She had been running after him, clinging to him with lingering feelings for everything she had received from him.
Perhaps that was why.
“I…”
She couldn’t quite understand it.
Had she been that important to him?
In the two years they had lived together, she had never sensed such a nuance from him. They were bound by a contractual marriage, and their relationship had been a mere obligation. That’s what she had thought.
‘Maybe it was just my misunderstanding…’
Maybe he had seen her in a more favorable light than she had realized.
“Grace…”
He was looking at Tenesia, but his eyes were already reflecting someone else. It was as if he was searching for Grace in her, his eyes slowly scanning her face, though she bore no resemblance to the person he sought.
At this point, she began to feel confusion about her own emotions.
The title of Margrave didn’t allow him to rest.
External pressures were constant, and there were many times when he left the house for months with Grace left behind. She often took charge of the castle in Dietrich’s stead.
He was not someone who hesitated to leave Grace behind. He prioritized orders and could not stand seeing enemies trample his lands.
But he wasn’t someone who neglected his role either. He dedicated as much time as possible to her when at the castle.
Most of that time was spent at meals or enjoying tea together, but that was enough for her.
He always seemed genuinely busy, with towering piles of work. The promise he had made to treat her as the ‘Margravine’ was faithfully kept.
He was a man who adhered strictly to rules and discipline.
Because of this, she had assumed he would never invest his heart in this contractual union. That their feelings couldn’t be mutual, and she had believed that firmly.
‘What if I’ve been mistaken?’
Perhaps, just as she had come to see him in a certain way, he had looked at her similarly. Maybe he had cared for her beyond just being a contract wife.
Thump, thump.
Her heart began to race.
Perhaps the rumors were true.
Though some were exaggerated, they didn’t seem completely groundless. Her heart pounded at the thought that Dietrich hadn’t forgotten about her during the five years she had been gone.
‘What if it’s just a fragment of time, a short-lived chance?’
At that moment, a man’s voice flashed through her mind. The voice of the mysterious man who may have saved her life. His words, like a stamp, echoed in her head and wouldn’t leave.
In her joy, her outstretched hand toward Dietrich hesitated.
‘I won’t live long.’
Even without the man’s words, her physical condition made it clear enough. Her frail body seemed like it would only last a few more years at best.
The fever she had even though she came in the carriage made her even more certain of that.
Tenesia slowly let her outstretched arm fall.
‘I… won’t tell him I’m Grace.’
What would telling him change? Should she show him the sight of herself dying twice? That would be too cruel to Dietrich, who would be left alone again.
‘Nothing has changed.’
From the beginning, her condition prevented her from telling him the truth. She couldn’t tell him that she was Grace, or share her feelings. None of it.
But the feelings she held were genuine. No matter the outer identity she wore, she had accepted a second, limited life in order to help him.
Whether she was Tenesia or Grace, her intention to help him remained unchanged.
Tenesia slowly lifted her head. Dietrich, still drunk, was staring at her with eyes that couldn’t seem to focus.
“What kind of eyes is he looking at me with now? Who is reflected in those unfocused eyes?”
Grace? Tenesia?
It didn’t matter either way. Tenesia barely held back the tears threatening to well up.
She was glad Dietrich was drunk.
Now, she could act like Grace under the pretense of comforting him. Facing an unconscious person, she felt nothing but joy.
Tenesia reached out her hand again. As she wrapped her arms around his broad shoulder, she felt the rigidity in his body from the contact.
How happy it was to be able to touch him. To feel his presence and feel that he was alive.
Things she couldn’t do before she died. Things she had longed for, she was now able to do again.
“Don’t worry, Dietrich.”
Tenesia murmured, feeling the warmth between their contact.
“You’ll do well, just like you always do.”
“…”
“The time we’ve spent together was brief, so sudden changes may seem overwhelming.”
It was doubtful that the drunken Dietrich would hear her soft whispers. But it didn’t matter, even if he didn’t remember.
‘Because it’s just for my satisfaction.’
Right now, at this moment. The time when she could touch him again was all that mattered. Tenesia continued, leaving her lips curved into a smile.
“But soon it won’t matter. As I said earlier, it was brief, and you’ve already thought of me enough.”
She felt a hand gently caressing her ear.
It felt like the start of something, so Tenesia slowly lifted her head. Over her forehead. On the bridge of her nose. Above the eyelids. A gentle kiss landed on her cheek.