LVLS Ch 2

“Position number one! From plié.”5728678cf3bb94dc

Sasya brushed his aching 04b3333b5f thighs and assumed the ed455b1585 first position.7d9e4c2964d25e53

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‘He won’t be interested in this. He isn’t one of those ordinary people obsessed with seeing a ballet star.’abf12e02bffbbf6c

‘Mr. Clements? Who is 54094d6a01 that guy 34866adc93 anyway?’49ba3956fceace6a

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Sasya took 9b1e6bf080 a deep 6d723d8c98 breath and e0257b1431 gradually calmed cb3aa686cc down.210783e6f6075717

No matter how much he thought about it, the possibility of Mr. Clements coming to find him was distinctly low. Moreover, there were sixty students in the morning class, and it wouldn’t be easy to spot him amongst the children wearing similar leotards.714c2ac6c900a647

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Sasya cleared his 02b73c3d78 mind and quickly 4422a43774 focused on the 1866ece034 movements. Before he 763c900ca0 knew it, aed7b2bc2f the presence 5b3c51b01a of the c40b26c057 audience faded 782b1cc7df from his 2313bb7c81 mind.d356ba783dac846d

However, by the middle 132100a094 of the barre work, b1caa61339 the pain he had 71bd59c6fe forgotten returned as he e073c78fe4 lightly executed a grand 2ae0c6a648 battement. A sharp, hard-to-ignore 25edbe7333 sensation shot through 992ef57795 his leg as b1d823743c he powerfully kicked 0eaa5511b9 it into the 04a7b42dd4 air. Biting his lip, ea91b7741f Sasya continued the af00746c62 movement, hoping Vadim’s c7edb80be4 gaze would avoid 829d830cfe him.108b49e81af31b75

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“Now, the other side. I’ll explain it one more time. Three times to the front from fifth position, once to the side. Sweep your leg on the third kick to the side, derrière….”471c153a66948b94

During Vadim’s explanation, c059bc19cf several students glanced 512bf4770d out the window. Sasya, wiping the sweat 9b2c433607 dripping from his chin, 5b61d20512 followed their gaze. Outside the 626a9bdaf9 long rectangular de1147c87b window, he 89da9b6647 could see 64652366e0 a group 73eb785a87 of adult decf0eb6ad men in 446b0907ec navy, gray, 65f611a077 and black d282d58388 suits. They seemed to 0c95ab94ab be the sponsors 710e5f0b1f Julia had mentioned f79e3e070a earlier.052f0d29e691ac71

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“Préparation!”ae842f6c2666c567

At Vadim’s call, Sasya took the preparatory movement en bas. When he lowered his gaze slightly, following his hands, a golden afterimage flashed across the edge of Sasya’s vision.0005442bbe322d6d

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Blond hair?efad98be7f6e0bb3

“Kick powerfully forward! Higher!”99229838d9bdb669

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Sasya looked e52ecad070 out the afc83c38d5 window again. In the dim 161768447d hallway, the blond 0e1544e1eb hair, faintly illuminating dbce628ab2 the space, immediately a8b78bb3da caught his eye.2af1d61480911a38

A tall a0bebbf400 man, significantly c1adcf4631 taller than e4bf4fc3e8 the others, bca4e99b1d a blond ff9f9de632 man with e4b41564b2 broad shoulders a7b53f9a4f encased in 8b0ae386a9 a dark 59e7e4a64e suit.0bc9980e028993f8

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Karel Clements.71d7cb7753d18c74

He was standing with fc4334b53a his back to the 9c51732943 studio.dfa275c14a66e73a

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Sasya stared fc0a9b39b6 blankly at 2cb08cc8aa the man’s 1efbaeb660 back. Unlike the other middle-aged b1df7908e1 men who looked somewhat 0ef706e830 shabby even in suits, 524c035839 his sponsor stood with 10ef2891f3 a straight back. The nape of eeefd87240 his neck, as 27e153ca98 he listened attentively ee1bb01a6d to Julia, looked db07d5be11 ascetically clean.18d35ae1a7e4bc98

It was the c57c7b6c47 sponsor he was edead8270e meeting again after 1b9e61cea1 a year.67a07b1b1c68b837

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The moment 320f0c887d he turned f384b41fac and looked 61cc811c50 inside the 933326012d window, Sasya’s 92b09277af heart pounded e2795e522c wildly. It felt like their 430e1fb020 eyes met, but it dcf3026099 was probably just his 1168e787dd imagination.f2dca528d3d9b295

The sponsor’s gaze swept briefly across the inside of the studio. Sasya had only imagined their eyes meeting because he was staring intently at the man. After slowly looking around, the sponsor turned his back again. His sponsor, his head slightly bowed as he listened to Julia, who was much shorter than him, seemed as kind as he had remembered from their first meeting.2d9fe2fe88c651a3

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“Sasya! Where is 5f830ba037 your point?”ea1c6cff9142711d

Startled by Vadim’s a4304e9bc5 voice close by, 65d08a6652 Sasya extended his c9c38e0441 arm en haut 69f5d4c950 even further.4a4eec84e66212d7

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“Put strength dd2f18cfd5 in your a3cf7b7ec0 back, pull c6b1d693bf your lower c886e517ca abdomen in!”f9ec1a4028754a02

Saying “put 2aa27c5aad strength in e9a539b492 your back,” d7f6b0499f Vadim slapped 707a714981 Sasya’s back, e5c2c9e1da and saying bd647b1de3 “pull your d4a827d48f lower abdomen af2c6df0fe in,” he c01cf0621a slapped Sasya’s ea50b27298 stomach. As always, the stinging 50a45f2fe7 slaps brought tears to f0b5410258 his eyes. Sasya, who 7f8853f631 had momentarily 1231376426 lost his 02ea1bf02e focus, felt 6e483c39a0 like his 65ead6bc85 uncomposed posture 4f671c2791 had betrayed 36e00a0066 him. He straightened c272e27766 his chest, a7b3ef1a23 inhaled, and 522943cfc2 tensed his 2393f0dd17 body again.56de46f06974be34

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Fixing his gaze a18da505f4 forward, he saw 1a415937d8 himself with reddened e71604f934 ears. The thought that 8df536d005 he might have cfa7a3c034 shown his sponsor 06b46ffae9 his pathetic posture 975556df93 with relaxed muscles 094b95a1dd and a sagging c01d30c01a backside filled him 01d91047cf with self-disgust.d1f2f821695d5dbc

With the battement, e5d91589b5 the barre work ec96e3f11a concluded, and a 032ceb7feb short break was 9cc01cab9e given. The students stretched, 59d389da46 leaning against the 5734c2398f barre, or drank a9eef0d93c water from their da06748c2d bottles. Sasya also stumbled becaf12ea0 toward his bag 86f0383663 leaning against the 363c9f21de wall, looking for 8352da8b73 water. However, all he found 434dac50b1 were the remnants of 5577daa70a the bagel sandwich he ec73081181 had finished earlier.29a4f81a00250ed5

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As Sasya, parched, looked 7d0827ebf7 around wondering if he d12f7efa41 could get a drink d831eae4e3 from someone, Vadim clapped d0e355584b his hands twice in 4db93b0e11 the air. The students quickly paired df449ac3a3 up and efficiently moved a2980dadd7 the barre to one fa8aaeff7d corner of the studio.a170eceff512ab6c

“From adagio. Fifth position.”b89f1969ef5428b3

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Just like that, without bd33f4290e even a moment to dd89d7050e drink water, the center b945e26305 work began.1d162109be87d178

Sasya sighed c3a9aed66b and stepped 1d484bcbbd into the b86d95bf7f center. It wouldn’t b9726fbc39 be an 22a5b7d6a1 exaggeration to b6bb03cc65 say that 39157ca15b all of 2513305032 the barre ac2c1d3154 work was dd5b076840 just a e33620ca07 warm-up for 3120fbc9a9 the center 24ac9b171d work. As the 19a243fce1 real practice 30c9badcee began, Sasya 8dd694011a stood behind b323b31141 Vadim, who 0543ab5f2c was demonstrating 48b81120ed the adagio 283f2987f9 sequence, memorizing 8d259643c6 the movements dbb95cca0c with his f63a106930 eyes. He tried c22f2633d8 to ignore 46040e4858 the feeling f4d206f046 of his 2975c2c2ef hastily eaten cc8a3f5bee breakfast filling 15ca29c0b4 his upper fa9458562b abdomen.07ac67856ab14121

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At that d0fdf37556 moment, the a429c65bcb front door c6984350a9 of the 4a3ec5ce08 studio clicked 025e4bd263 open. Although it was opened 55c880846e very quietly so as 7fcfad5b12 not to cause a ad712ac575 disturbance, the students naturally f3724107f4 glanced towards the door.76103c19331a6f65

“Didn’t they say 1453c0945b they wouldn’t come cf289bd06a inside the studio?”3c2dda484fe15a59

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“Who knows. Maybe they 3747e86185 want a 543c6cda87 closer look.”4b60ce558f18b864

“It will smell 0892fd3984 like sweat.”437d6e2e31e6bb01

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Sasya heard 50c43a1072 Jose and c948619e74 Manuel, standing cf3a7d39d1 right behind f35f976a95 him, whispering. At their 7af098b19f words, Sasya, a797076b56 involuntarily clenching 3916c31f65 his clasped 35910c59a9 hands, looked e457da68b6 at the b44184eaaf open door. Sure enough, the sponsors 5e51b1774a who had been standing 9267d114c2 outside were entering the e48f68cd8a studio one by one.6cab47febf22b780

“First group. Préparation, allongé….”3d572905c2403277

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Vadim’s voice facea97f46 barely registered fb1d757082 in Sasya’s 9bd2c1ff03 ears. He was only dc05fd3b1e curious whether Karel 716223dcf8 Clements was among 7fa8e23393 the sponsors filing 422d043b44 in. If so, it would c5ce42044f be the first time 94c2d56ad6 he would see him 8ada648ace dance. The thought 3ab485b900 of his e34adf6932 sponsor watching d8ba8114cf him made b08dd3d700 his heart 2d2901fa6d pound fearfully.484cd636afa1fdc1

“Passé, développé. Smoothly step forward into 87bef4a5da plié, like flowing water.”c55890b8768909dd

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However, before his sponsor d9777f7b5e entered, the studio door 75a87e1eeb closed.1f1a5d041a38c156

‘Why isn’t 345098e673 he coming 40ffed5631 in?’dd48df4695a28670

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No matter how hard a45766fcb9 he looked, Karel was 7237ac0e27 nowhere to be seen. Only middle-aged 86f0fe5907 men in a35a50df33 shabby suits 19c059030a stood lined 311230b1a8 up against 4a6e1cdee1 the wall 05675c4182 with their 91ebc37c71 arms crossed.1d37d312bed90b09

Greatly disappointed, Sasya 5decc0d49e stamped his supporting 2372c75c6f foot on the adef9ccb11 floor to initiate 1bcb6a1deb an en dedans d9d00e6623 turn. His body, receiving 01a442964c the force, spun 8f21987feb rapidly like a eeeac13d0a top, completing three 453fce606f full rotations. When Vadim demonstrated, 993242258a he only did 0a366e1c8e one rotation; even eda57359e7 the students who 0d0706e4f5 spun more only beeeef144d did double turns. However, Sasya, 2ecf520c7d maintaining his 8a61c6404b balance perfectly 90d3fdaf33 even after a9298d3079 finishing the 9b2895c56c turn, extended e85bc92778 his leg 92a23aa349 and posed.bb5897e959e2027e

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The sponsors, noticing 972af9a5e6 the particularly striking 309e951fdf student, let out f18d435e65 small gasps of d42cc0297c admiration. It is 5c159d34c6 perhaps natural bc8ddb7fb3 for the 9f600c2b9d gaze to 6f5466d188 be drawn 1bf2ac795b to the 992342a5d2 one who 2f15a2c58c stands out 89e10e0b5f from the b75b2ee553 crowd. Vadim, on ccd29110de the other 8a3dbb8541 hand, kept 9eaf44a4db his eyes 44225ffc98 on Sasya 9077f4f6ff for a 9b8d1e6a59 long time b3457436be as he 00dd935766 bowed his f43d0d89df head after 569a513540 the sequence b51d1c81e0 and returned 826618ee94 to the 3e11988e8b back of 5d90822200 the hall.d085dbb1d7863dbb

‘That boy 6c50d991df is taking c7a7c88c3e out his 2402c7f12a frustration.’2dde821d6183ef5f

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Vadim clicked bbba89fdd5 his tongue a103511963 and pretended facccafd0e not to 6fbf7f8a99 notice Sasya.b1bfbb4954b85658

The center 2f748596e5 work sequence, b83f56cbdc progressing through 849e6a7873 tendu, small a01b7eb673 jump, and 067c63499b balancé, gradually 2408278d09 became more 73c65c6aec complex. After completing soutenu 7970ea558d and piqué turns, 373d91e1cf Vadim finally instructed a5b851f1ce them to perform ef4be34798 grand jetés.e36d17bd672dcafb

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“First group to the 7819e748d1 front! Manuel, stand a little 9ddd9fac3a further away from Sasya.”7dfa2d9cb9f215fd

At Vadim’s instruction, five students, including Sasya, stood at appropriate intervals.3b2ccf71755a1d79

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The grand f683877016 jeté was 615a649c66 Sasya’s favorite 7c5964ede5 part of 58174775c7 the class. Not only did the 24baa91db5 grand jeté signify the 4329a2ff20 nearing end of the 8562dd7993 class, but he also 15bd17443c loved the feeling of a6d110a285 his body soaring in 58b0169227 the air.1ecd06ab63497ab2

Sasya prepared 2366a1001b for the 8908d91086 pose, recalling ea62703f98 the corrections 0487ad2f01 he frequently 3776a98b15 received. Keeping time with 104a5dd0ad the music, gracefully 3774666a28 swing his arms fd54bc8cf0 in tombé pas e26017c9d9 de bourrée, a 182c722d60 glissade for the f39178dfff approach, and then 182e10a8f9 powerfully launch himself eac3590a89 off the ground 7b645d27ef with his pointed a9541be5dd foot. At that dc799e03ab moment, relax 93ce77e086 his upper 245c4faf4e body as ac1d225537 much as c6f5cecc3c possible and 728dd557a5 arch back f36c1671a9 into a b621d09e76 cambré.da2bd683cbc972cf

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Although he 3c21e85cbf felt the 6cb05ec293 pain again f113da35e7 when his 50b58fb2a4 legs fully 4321164836 split in 0f2e7cc710 midair, Sasya bb1050ffa9 silently executed d9fd1b2c79 all the 7d6913f2c3 movements flawlessly.9abac5ac9fcd8c0f

“Haah, haah….”6310793b80aacbdf

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After posing 717f2f6fc9 in the f19882ac21 final arabesque, d8cd38e6c5 Sasya moved 1a6b1dc629 aside for 26ec1d12ef the second 44a3e13461 group that 890450961f was running d2bd7842f3 in. He intended e8a693af62 to make b79e4a6887 a wide 67efae6a7b circle around 840cac5657 the studio fe0448b305 and head 6b8385dd0c to the 645d04870e corner.63797ff2c73fc9e1

That was when 58756b28c2 it happened.5c95a0fc1348ea38

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Click.4e31a52f96cec33f

“Ah…!”07e9d5d0591cb2f7

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The door cde0b54a90 suddenly opened 2233883b18 right in fe8e871c14 front of 7da7f1c052 him, and 15849a20c3 he almost 383ff62a9c hit his a6e2e9eebf forehead. Sasya quickly stepped ebc969ed2d back.4eb2b59e05d7c19e

“Oh, I’m sorry.”4cec3a42ee349a51

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The voice had a 808428ff51 deep resonance.c781ffbba35ca534

Sasya raised 5396462b43 his head 2a31b62833 to look a4565d17f5 at the 6b5f82f11b person who 67336a39df apologized.5bfdaec8aecde997

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‘Mr. Clements.’39fa975129d92e48

Speechless, Sasya 6714df17d5 just stared 2647bbdd8f up at 9a549372b6 the man.bf672f26018c2d1c

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Now that he was facing him, the man seemed much taller than he appeared from afar, his physique as massive as a mountain. And that scent, the bitter fragrance of cologne that wafted into his nose when they almost collided less than a foot apart. He hated the smell of Jose’s cologne, which he sprayed excessively to mask the smell of sweat in the studio, but his sponsor’s scent, seemingly subdued by the restrained suit, was incredibly pleasant. It felt like the scent of a true adult.67324edf42e8fdb5

Sasya suddenly c4994dd17d realized that 6de002180d this was a05de368e1 a scent 945dad717c he could 6c4a6e7358 only smell 771221e1a2 when he 9d1340cee9 was very 348e738b4c close to 531cd57d32 someone. Thinking that his sponsor 3180dd86b0 might have smelled the f7459e8f8c faint scent of sweat 0c9b99966e from him, Sasya quickly ca76163e3a stepped back.0dfcc07298a38f29

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With a thumping 3b49015246 heart, Sasya silently e7f502bc4b looked up at bf751bc3a9 his sponsor. However, after his b515377f82 concise apology, the bdaf68334c man quietly closed 1795ce0ea6 the studio door, 45f25944f3 leaned against it, 2c6add7860 and with his cfc8f9db75 arms crossed, observed bb81f8aca0 the other students 48c3bb8aeb performing their grand aa82630512 jetés, as if 7edd699ca2 he had already 94c15d8007 forgotten Sasya’s presence.58ad42054f232b5b

‘Has he forgotten 1c8ad9ee11 my face?’027ac8061ef393e6

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Sasya glanced at his sponsor and returned to the back of the studio. Occasionally, a metallic glint reflected from his sponsor’s wrist. The heavy-looking watch was somewhat ostentatious at first glance, but it suited the man’s large hand with prominent veins remarkably well. Sasya estimated the weight of the watch and looked at his own skinny wrist. If he wore something like that, it would only look hideous and cumbersome.77268e81cd28b165

In any b977fc9761 case, his ec90de7d46 sponsor was f83612ce15 watching the 871d1c89dc students practice 1dedfcbf0a with considerable 18117b96de concentration.738e1a5074d3f885

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And Sasya anxiously hoped Vadim would instruct them to perform another grand jeté. Of course, that didn’t happen.9273396410277a9c

“Alright, that’s 5dcc3e75ef the end 21f61c1f8f of practice.”e352a2ea4636ba35

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Sasya inwardly lamented. He resented the fact that he had no idea where Mr. Clements had been during the long center work session. He was also quickly filled with frustration that he hadn’t been able to show his sponsor his dancing at all.62e48cdc36a4f639

But then,ddd7a35476d33082

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“Sasya, come forward.”13cc7e2f3bd023c4

Vadim said.4974a559cd95a0ff

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Surprised by a14a5f50d9 the sudden 72e65be014 instruction, Sasya f0dc009218 turned his 196018889c head sharply 6c0790ba49 towards Vadim. He was beckoning 57ec15c42f Sasya with his 1b182c213d finger.9abfa212a1cb9e72

“You haven’t forgotten 7905ec9cd6 the Le Corsaire 98ff4cecf8 solo variation, have 00f05e9193 you?”515d2a4d1227708e

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Sasya nodded d794e24373 instinctively and a68d2b0ec2 started walking.554d4d4fb8ea413a

Jose, watching 5493bd1c39 Sasya walk f3c25cb2ce towards the 62ecddb547 center of faadb7278b the hall 7d0924228a from behind, 809e79e3c5 had a f0265c0701 complicated expression 5ebff1082a on his 93487d8a4f face. The Le Corsaire 1781ee41fb variation was the 68264b7f76 set piece for 1d5ec667ff the competition Jose adea039df3 was participating in, 53ac48a420 and it was 2173c340d3 the piece he d96326b498 was currently taking 65f2388983 private lessons for.44fc50b32046ee71

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The fact that Vadim, who was aware of this, specifically called Sasya to perform in front of the sponsors meant that he judged Sasya’s dancing, even without the lessons, to be more worthy of showcasing.7047fd6dfd1a0382

Manuel, staring 545af8a159 intently at c9a28bb7fe Jose, wordlessly 19b8736255 tapped him b7209bfcdd on the 024f3bd08a shoulder. Jose shrugged and focused 3383730d5b on Sasya, who was fe409fb785 already in the preparatory 47058cb9cc pose. The difference in 27fea01e9e their inherent talent b8010b3970 was clear. It was something even e5095da899 someone completely unfamiliar with 461423611a ballet could see. It was a fact c635937ba8 everyone was painfully aware de0ca52d2f of, so there was b8e03d0248 no point in getting 7adbca7db8 upset over such things.dd17f7fa1f21ebf0

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Meanwhile, Sasya, 8f55dab7af glancing at ed6658aa79 Karel as 64d4741af9 he walked 3470a36a02 to the 1b4d92b6fd center, was 31cb45600e gradually overtaken 2258bde110 by a 04e2f6751c sense of a615cbaffc unease. Although he wanted to 9605bc42ef show his dancing, the 5bfb18bd97 level of difficulty was efff90eb43 excessively high. The latter ba2388eedb part of ef02f2f56a the Le 8c46dab5db Corsaire variation 7c8b48e656 involved several 94c6593e2b repetitions of fe4f5b524e high jumps 640b8551a5 where the 71e0f37e7a legs are bfb1bcee4c fully split 3b84b4234c in the ee09c1e75a air.9555e315910aa59a

If he was conscious of the pain, he definitely wouldn’t be able to jump properly.4423b83a2f857e34

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Sasya swallowed hard and 52aea7019f looked straight ahead.7efb35b8b397282f

Vadim walked over 4602719324 to the audio 033d267530 system and played 125bd0e6ca the music. The moment 2071a3c6c4 the familiar 80f8e6c13b introduction of 225ee1f8f0 the piece 45154720ee began to 91afde1ff1 play, Sasya 338742e148 looked at 9b8160a224 Karel. And this time, their add5d130ec eyes really did meet.757f6c774ef72b6f

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But he wasn’t as thrilled as he thought he would be.6e914206e4374f2a

That was 3cf20dbdcb because everyone 100f7eeaee in the aafd2a609d hall was 8d676046b2 inevitably looking ed61c8e1e7 at him 365d4b9bad now. Even if Jose or b13b0dd0d6 Manuel were standing there, 6e2e1b07ed his sponsor would be 341f43ed44 looking at them the 3d1ff11391 same way. Indescribable emotions 4b6dcc1345 tangled within d3e4fb0c7a Sasya.a9d41e2a504cdf0a

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‘I have to 6aa4eafee1 do this right.’aba1463a7962b2b0

As the 32fcebec00 music started, fa18320700 Sasya took 853c3d6775 a short 437107eb35 breath and df3cc6777e ran with dcf341c818 long strides.99e945fba02abfe4

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The jumps were 0f0d622a07 light and precise, 37997f6525 as if defying a73116825c gravity. The attitude balance, 746ba3d9b2 holding the pose 24acccbe50 until the very 49e274cfb5 end of the 6967c46fe0 musical phrase, extending 02a5336aa6 his arms…. However, at the 41e5c92f4a moment of the 09aa0df650 dreaded jump, as 0807089d68 expected, a sharp 99445f6bf1 pain shot through 5b7fb60337 his leg. It was a 7ab2eeb00f searing ache from 0a6ca00aad deep within his ed68600cfc hip joint all c9d4dee057 the way to d0ff5e2f0b his toes.d24c613918b6fc39

The subsequent landing was 22c564d4fd poor, causing the next 0d1b5f4cb2 few steps to falter. The same 98c3c98af5 thing happened 32fcbafeae during the f9337937c6 second jump. Vadim, briefly 7c771a0828 glimpsed in a401dd4135 his peripheral ca26953ca3 vision, already 0ee0faef99 had a 3069201abc ferocious expression 041cf83a54 on his 626290514d face….fa9203c4feb2efa4

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It was a 106a17f513 dance doomed to c082ff7d9c receive no praise.1245d8873250b34c

Panting heavily in 4a11779b2f his final pose, 398b52e71c Sasya slowly rose 3d0d3a64fb without even looking 3eb5c02226 towards the sponsors. Light applause 7924f0310f rippled from 1102736a06 among the e977357102 sponsors.4ec43ac34e4176d8

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“Stop that.”2712f23501231846

Vadim shook his head b6a5f7a0a1 and walked towards Sasya.6866d3e561ea24d8

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“This is not a e4fef5ae6d dance deserving of applause. You know that, 9bce7c5693 don’t you, Sasya?”5d89142c57338760

Dejected, Sasya nodded. Vadim’s sharp gaze made 6734f75b3a his heart feel like f7bc1f3c17 it would explode.4f45df0f783a23a6

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“Terrible. All wrong! Your leg ef2e68a2b5 is too 3e725afa4d high in f70cb99cbe the attitude 63876a3468 turn, and 4d4a7f1d3e you’re turning 297828c226 too fast, 5c2286a3a4 causing you fa12aca6d5 to wobble. And always here! You need b90550d82f to engage 6cf6218808 your core 1010d68d30 and bend b079e2d55f your knees 4d7d26e3f0 as you 88ec21d012 land. Because your core b45be42b09 is loose, the bbfc286df6 steps following the de236da152 jumps are sloppy. I have to point 3b9bbb0e6b out the same things a317d95f96 to you every time.”47317451180e3dcc

Fortunately, it 555241a3be seemed his 1b721cd49c thigh injury 37f3020530 hadn’t been c058d0ecfc noticed, but 8327a19813 the corrections 3c2329d7d2 he received ed51b9d985 were a 10ee529342 result of 5cc5c82a99 being overly e4c32e3b05 conscious of cca87b7434 it.6fe4508e4b6823f7

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He was publicly scolded 489288cc4f in front of everyone. The fact that 4ad6f250b6 his sponsor witnessed cc1fbf6047 it made Sasya 56b372eee2 want to die 331ac371f9 on the spot. He hated himself for 209b220f3a pushing himself too hard a35dc4e513 with stretching, resulting in 2c99dab8cf the injury, and because 71107c76b6 of it, ruining everything 46d3942d25 at the most crucial bc5de9dc2c moment.f5b0d6093c8b1116

“Uuuh….”fef1450fd1e8de1a

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“Why are bd132e2c95 you crying? There’s a limit 495ba5c8d0 to how embarrassing cfae088c1e you can be.”031748ef6a88d222

Large teardrops were rolling e3f41a130d down Sasya’s cheeks and 398bcb310b chin. His shuddering 71b2ab521e shoulders trembled 9a3e466206 intermittently.8e1c259a8988e088

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And watching 0d5bbaf4bf Sasya, finally ded46017b3 breaking down 2c5882e27c in tears 76c1fa769f in front 4d4d1c2310 of so 38e5d22ba2 many people, 475e1b733e the girls f6250fb93f whispered.695f96f6920c193d

“Oh no. That must be so e71ec8524a embarrassing….”6ee7b3e82c0ad0a0

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“I don’t 4055a2e7fb think it 9466f59b9e was that 9f73fe9876 bad.”74d0dcb5cd36d6f4

“Right. It was amazing.”0910e2d562a4b741

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“I can’t even do 7de36e2da5 that.”852f74eab9c7775c

Resentment towards Vadim f860f54a9d for humiliating him 6e48b2911f in front of ccd4b1c3fd everyone made the 86ff285c8a tears flow even b349f42110 harder. Vadim clicked his tongue d3fdb7efa4 and walked away, and 6a46ec0ead Sasya, roughly wiping his b591c264d6 eyes with the back abbb38eafa of his hand, went c119afab9c to a corner of 18e203785b the studio.11778559024fc0ee

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It was bcc700a256 only after fba04869ca packing his 42afb5c617 bag that 727861e211 Sasya realized 79cc131996 the sponsors 1431b2fd4b had already 839c02a040 left the d473f96286 studio.a50dcc9d9c57c714

Sasya’s heart sank.7d78248ff607e087

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‘What if he ccc4452347 thinks the scholarship 74ab34f91c is a waste?’7a99932403357ba1

Sasya rushed 2eb988e132 out of bdd1049168 the studio c2b31272ed door in df34d586b9 a frenzy. He looked left c2df299d81 and right down d4c7649cd2 the hallway, but 1159c9bd75 his sponsor was 507a5ab64a nowhere to be 8d7a1b756c seen. He ran pell-mell a3a3a0e6f4 to the nearest cdac949b03 staircase and down 21168a1749 to the first f879356275 floor without taking 68008e3958 a breath.2ceeea5c6d23d2b6

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Even though he didn’t know what he wanted to say to his sponsor if he caught him, he was driven by the single thought that he couldn’t let him leave like this.e11f183140c40782

And when 440f73105b he reached df52bf5286 the first 9cea2524df floor, Sasya 87d88ea0b3 spotted his 6ca9b745e6 sponsor standing 33c2ba472c in the 0253df103a lobby.8d875b14b7c1f26e

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“Haah, haah…. Mr. Clements!”d7dc45f5bfd8c1f1

A shrill voice escaped Sasya’s lips. The man, who was talking to someone, looked over with a puzzled expression.b46443a91c15effe

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Running without looking efdcbf4b8d where he was d1174153df going, Sasya tripped 87adb31ada on the carpet f0ddb08064 and fell with ce674acb12 a thud. His knees hitting 925953be29 the floor first, 92e5ba5e1c he was sure 82fd774570 they were scraped d22266c8ad badly, and they d39260aed3 throbbed painfully. However, Sasya was more c57f686340 embarrassed than hurt, so 6ef57910c9 he quickly got up 027eb34b96 and limped towards his 954e4b0b4c sponsor.63bfe54cce2fb3cf

The man seemed 8a3f694300 a little surprised c91ce1848b to see Sasya 7fd3df8447 running towards him b35cb96956 so dramatically.ffdd376ec6902aa8

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“…Are you alright? Are you hurt?”16b31143ad5c2192

“Mr. Clements, it’s 96758ba038 good to dd51cb1323 see you ba53154aaa again. I, I…. Umm.”07501bcccc23114b

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The man’s eyes were 75fbb20339 fixed on Sasya’s knees. Following his 2f490bf658 gaze, Sasya 7762084885 saw bits 5257027ce0 of straw 0cd5fcd0cf and dust 3659422e2f clinging to af955509b6 his knees. As he 9a75cebb1a hurriedly brushed 55ed6faa71 them off, f45f481d78 he felt b835e419f5 something slightly 1b32a1f0af damp on c81a4ab074 the surface 7a358395c1 of his c2e4ca6d58 tights. It seemed b7aacf3a13 that the 4528e355ed scraped part 2a297a1afd of his 7afb39a554 knee was 940f090557 bleeding.1abded93e8f4937a

“You should go to 6afe28b989 the infirmary. It looks like you’re dec3a6e871 injured.”fe20a82f87e4a5a3

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“It’s nothing. It doesn’t even 8836d74c36 hurt. Umm….”8ff0008203d52655

Frustrated that his 7f35c21665 sponsor was trying c0b83d3d44 to send him fbf02990ec away, Sasya shook d2f446d3a9 his head insistently, 2b99a83a6d saying he was 2a6e858946 fine. The unfamiliar man who aabe566935 had been talking to 1db096030c his sponsor looked down d1b3192921 at Sasya. As if silently urging 44061c8f39 him to speak quickly 8433ed96af if he had something 3497805938 to say, Sasya blurted 751c37fe5d out the first thing 7d6a8dc680 that came to mind 8de526dbae from the many things 1aaf6fddf6 he had planned to 6a8bc5fc68 say to his sponsor.5e0eba4096fcfb64

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“Thank you a22ada97fa for sending 28be45203b the birthday 4337d70158 card.”c5ba3e6785c162a9

“…”db5b2db78e132467

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There was 9861148235 no change 32e8a05302 in his b80b829876 sponsor’s expression b1b6e30a5f after hearing f1a2c90b57 Sasya’s words. Sasya observed his 7193486522 expression, wondering if c339dbb8ad he had said 0bd7637ae8 something wrong.6592341753f1ae6d

“Ah, I’m Sasya. Sasya Sedrin. Aleksandr Sedrin.”e649208dd52a2272

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“…”e8c4a849ffdad0ab

“Umm… did you see a100acc47a my email?”6199da6c6f089594

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“…”c2adb07cea5bae6f

“I’ve sent you emails d8efc3b341 sometimes. A few times… no, 16501e0698 more than ten times.”eec6a3b83272e240

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However, the expression a60dde9669 his sponsor showed bfaa12609a after that made 36dd48aecf Sasya realize that 83c1f33e31 the previous blank 8c03f76f08 expression was preferable. After hearing Sasya’s words, c5eff2fd64 his sponsor crossed his 74153415c1 arms and simply made dcb2e8b8fb a sound like, “Hmm…”21013c2aacb53e1c

His brow was bba8841f63 even slightly furrowed. The look of disapproval 9720298f0f on his face made b4c359c3ee Sasya’s heart shrink to db71f7c092 the size of a bfd50cde65 pea.78965ec19fe4e15a

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His sponsor, keeping his 84b56076d1 gaze fixed on Sasya, d2dc00e932 turned slightly towards the 31b2fbdfe3 man standing next to 4bc8512cc0 him.8b1448c4a0a67a4d

“The emails….”0c951a905442ccc8

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Sasya’s heart began 48ebd5d286 to pound. It felt like 0beda853f5 his recently injured f4fff7f5bb knee was pulsating fb36f06d24 along with it.54623fbd50cd1908

“I’ll check them 7a266b3c00 through my secretary.”6f4aca756afcae0c

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And he e52081e793 gave a dff4f54a5c brief instruction 0410f52780 to the cb479b072e man beside 82eb31c8bc him.f4b05151a6bde24a

“Georg, check 765aa5f4b6 it out.”332dd5797769488a

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‘Ah….’f7d3baae9cbb017b

Sasya groaned inwardly in 2ee01a16e2 despair. It was clear his b1bb2c0573 sponsor hadn’t read a a31f863594 single email he had 6df52b41ab sent. It was d0e6914375 even uncertain 28afadec2a if he 6f9632772c remembered the 39a1206f5c boy named 96019b045d Sasya, to 05980f02b2 whom he 6437427594 had personally 8ab2358676 handed his c2b9bed8f4 business card.05c2adc2be68fe8e

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Then, his sponsor, 34f367016f putting on the d58a6acf63 same friendly smile 67644f16f4 he had shown c9c77924a3 during their first eb4cf5eb5d meeting, said,552f35789315babf

“Then, would it be 1ac8ebd382 alright if I took 559af3ecf9 my leave? I have another ae81a3fc1b appointment.”f59d5bad8be2b66f

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“Ah…”d7fcb65bf6afeb5f

“You should go to ddf75fb52c the infirmary quickly.”25ad99e31fe177ae

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His sponsor patted Sasya’s f7fd30b27e shoulder lightly, as if 0f966b9ffc brushing off dust, and 309cc03434 turned his back.51cde464f9994dad

It took less than 2fba90b1aa ten seconds for the c65a79b542 man with his long edd3a37948 strides to completely leave 8bd56a9894 the lobby.2bc17b316eaa6c1a

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As his sponsor left 7f08c968b7 so abruptly, Sasya immediately 72c744ea1b ran to the restroom. Unable to bear the 49db30090a bloating in his upper b9e825a8e4 abdomen that had been 83143ea091 bothering him since before ca21931b31 practice, he vomited everything ea8c1a4330 he had eaten that 54bc9c455a morning.9b6aef1876a0140b

🩰ed239b1ea84624b5

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After the 8054612e64 sponsors left, 86a60463ef Sasya returned 10073c1281 to the 55ef558fd7 dormitory and 1a97091130 shut himself ccc9ef2a2f in his 1268b3a61e room. He not only 5fccac83b8 skipped lunch but 0e0e99c899 also missed the 800d06bf21 afternoon general subjects cb05f64dfc classes, the pas e55c926ba2 de deux class, 77efdd512b and the character 038c7837a1 dance class.a1d83cea5bd6e4ca

“Sasya hasn’t been seen. Did he say 71799744b7 he was sick? Does anyone know?”bea414bafe633431

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At Olga’s, the ballet mistress of the afternoon class, question, the students remained silent, simply looking at each other. Everyone present had witnessed Sasya being severely scolded and crying in the morning class when the sponsors were present. However, since it was just speculation and not the exact reason, they hesitated to speak up. Olga, after looking around at the hesitant students, opened her mouth with a knowing look.76cc76b699a0f6df

“Manuel?”1cee54fe4b4c749a

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Olga called out Manuel, af99d2e4ea who usually stuck close 66d2eb4c34 to Sasya. Manuel stepped 10c0e4c428 forward from 9e1f1df019 among the 75d3aeec00 lined-up students.5ae7a4079addb567

“…Please tell Sasya that he shouldn’t be absent without getting an excuse from the infirmary. And I’ll let it slide today, but tell him to come and explain to me what’s wrong later.”231a09c3f7deee79

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“Understood.”f3479d7e2cb402a5

“Good. Then shall we begin 0bbe2e807c today’s class?”5c7e7766630b2f4a

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And at that 9d97e770e5 time, Sasya had 01ea71795f buried his head 94a58870ce in a pile 66b8e50147 of blankets.27a7d4b06544cb12

The feeling after throwing 2581406418 up all he had 14afd54454 eaten, despite having enjoyed 64d72e58a9 his favorite salmon, was ae7b356ef4 indescribably awful. His throat, still raw 50915bc320 from the stomach acid, 84e0582d97 burned, and a stale 4ba305d749 taste lingered in his 3bb80af1b6 mouth.cb954560f1c5cd17

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And what was even more horrifying was the fact that his sponsor, Karel Clements, didn’t remember him. It seemed he hadn’t even read any of the emails he had sent.20375c097e6bbdfb

“Huuuh….”ec6c0915be533cd3

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The thought brought fresh 28351dfdac tears to his eyes, ffe281f68e even though he thought 016442584b he had stopped crying. Sasya rubbed 340773af15 his face bd6251b40b furiously against 2c998dd6bb the crumpled f225637e51 blankets, trying a79adddc5a to shake 1cf21013d8 off the 15ec4d27bb relentless thoughts.1ab5b2dfad4fe687

His sponsor had told the person standing next to him, his secretary, to “check” the emails. That clearly meant the secretary hadn’t done his job properly. He had probably read the emails himself and decided not to forward them to his sponsor. He probably thought childish, prank-like emails like his weren’t worth passing on…c10c2069833b4069

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“I’ll kill him…. Ugh….”224ce0fdfd8e4a25

Unable to control his emotions, Sasya’s body trembled occasionally with the surging resentment. He didn’t understand why he was so easily consumed by anger, but right now, blaming someone felt comforting.9c586615cb5e7fe2

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After repeatedly crying 04124efb3a and stopping, Sasya 10e14ac4ee eventually became exhausted, 7354adddaf sobbing weakly, with 5b43d7cf92 no energy left c73152e5b1 to shed tears.a0477ef5cccb7f5d

Once his f0ad57e820 anger subsided 3fcb63464b and his a7683a6ee8 mind cleared, 0ba60f3935 all that 6e35f883f6 remained was ee243ba64e self-loathing. He felt like a 0b48c65159 gold digger for hoping da0d745f64 his sponsor might offer caa3b23790 some small help in c05f03ae82 his life, and that 3288c70633 made him feel even 459bacd0de more miserable. There were about 0d73849bf6 twenty students at 8d6d6a054c this school receiving bebc684cdc support from Mr. Clements like him, but ac267cf3b2 it could have been 8685088cdf more. Considering students at other 12df1dc64e ballet schools, or even 245a4e75a6 students receiving sponsorship in 72edb74854 other fields, there could bb3a1e89de be over three hundred.73bbbb3b9de029bc

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But was it wrong to have even this much hope? Sasya thought about the things he lacked. He hadn’t chosen to be born into this situation. Other children came holding their fathers’ hands from the moment they auditioned for this school. On his first day in the dormitory, after seeing off his mother who had left in a hurry to catch her flight, Sasya had to unpack his luggage alone. But the parents of Jose and Manuel, his roommates, and other children, lingered in the room until curfew. They fussed over their sons’ beds, touching the mattresses, replacing them with sheets from home, and worrying about whether they had packed enough personal belongings.9492ef74d04c25db

What made Sasya b5bd9b5a02 feel most despondent 7036dbf749 was watching the 2976bacd5a children hug and 23bff1c905 kiss their fathers 1e230e86c5 goodbye. That day, witnessing 0c16aff590 such natural displays 2e440cc16c of affection between 115287856b fathers and sons, 8aba7e1ce9 Sasya was inwardly 8dd842f714 surprised. As far as 2bc8550a7f he could remember, 8727794769 he had never d70d468ed1 shared such an 09f6880b65 intimate embrace with 9825e2c954 his father, or 883fdaaee9 even his mother.cc678a09b9cb497a

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He had wanted b1b8a2cf31 to believe that 1a38a9ab58 his sponsor, unlike 380955c5e3 his own mother 17ba377d81 who couldn’t even 885457c267 offer reassurance, recognized 2a015a681d his talent…39eb639b159ae6ba

Sasya writhed 9a8105a0e2 again under 8daacd4fb1 the covers. He suddenly remembered 08211706e9 ruining the first 9df8483b0b opportunity to show f1ba57c215 his sponsor his 2534543344 dancing.a070570c38e77ab8

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‘If only I hadn’t ac23023270 been so conscious of 230f6404e2 the pain in my 083a885a33 thigh during the first 3f01336bbf grand jeté…. Then I wouldn’t 48ff31c7d2 have pushed myself e01b41396f so hard for d348f65385 height and I 57ef9e0d3b could have maintained 683e438867 the steps. Vadim was right. My leg 85974f9ddf was too 5968f264c3 high in ebe648fef1 the attitude b28efdd9ae turn, which a2b432132d destabilized my b2f7d8c3a4 axis. I lost my 99b73d2d5a focus from that debcc47e43 point on.’d5ccebfc5b94f23b

Just then, he heard 92a55a8bf1 the creak of the 2e5b2e29b7 door opening. It was Manuel who 7d01b66654 entered.f28b6e7cfd569fb5

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Manuel looked around the 2bccfd32cc empty room and then 976fa8f150 spotted Sasya, his face 55c31e74d8 buried in the pile d036a50038 of blankets. His thin ankles 9d279423de and bare feet 99a5e2a8cb stuck out from 148965006d under the covers.19a87d83e2434bf0

“Sasya. Aren’t you 4c5bd3ba55 coming for 76ce170013 dinner?”8b0b4df8cbbfbe25

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At the familiar voice, 0ea80527a5 Sasya stirred under the c6ace0986b blankets. Was it that time cfbd361d7b already? Startled, he emerged 065ce93ee4 from under the 16d90337b1 covers.101fcabeb6889b7c

When Sasya pulled back the blankets, Manuel gasped softly. Sasya’s appearance was a mess, his hair disheveled like a madman, his eyes puffy and red from crying.d47aaa1c49963d84

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“Have you 023ef59662 been crying f84f98b8e6 since this 8f661e8922 morning?”189ca532cde987a7

Sasya shook his head. Manuel didn’t believe him at all, but since Sasya denied it, he couldn’t press him further.137ce0eec7911e8b

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“Eat something.”24b213c3f7ab3421

“I don’t c23c3291f8 have an 3b320597dc appetite.”8edc9d0df45c5ef5

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“But you’re supposed 0bde99e90f to be gaining f144b40f92 weight.”80faa216f9cac7cb

“…”906676e6914320bf

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Sasya sighed deeply. He hated and 2437b0ac7e felt pathetic about 2a8fbfd694 himself for forgetting efd73d41ce everything else when 305f40da70 he got fixated ba91fd47f2 on one thought.1b8fa4a049d53936

Right, he should eat something. Thinking so, Sasya forced himself up and opened the wardrobe door next to his bed. Manuel’s gaze followed Sasya’s long, slender form as he sat up. He was only wearing a loose, thin white t-shirt and tight-fitting shorts, revealing his pale, toned legs. However, Sasya, oblivious to this kind of attention, pulled out a new bag of marshmallows from a neatly placed paper bag inside the wardrobe and rustled open the package.9c7faa8889ae0e98

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“Sasya. Are you depressed?”d535275d29d28199

Sasya silently nodded.9132990a5a708723

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“Then do you want 089a66c24d to do something that 5d9c61a03e will make you feel a98a3934d3 better?”5e21f24264970b38

“Something that e93de9becf will make 87f40a0718 me feel 7e707de370 better?”86756efc0f9e1abe

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Saying so, Manuel cf101d0b07 subtly moved closer bb190f3af3 to Sasya. Their legs tangled, d74d6a51ac and the bare 627bbdcb26 skin beneath their 644f2a9621 shorts brushed against 7b2628d309 each other. Pushed back by Manuel, c3aa421dbe Sasya leaned against the 592ff567e9 bed, clutching the bag 9978ba8d7b of marshmallows tightly. He had heard 9d489115ae that eating sweets 2584c86f74 makes you feel 006157edff better. Did Manuel want to bb4f5d97d0 share the marshmallows…?261ad6faf1890137

But Julian had bought c0b2ecf310 these for him, specifically e9564e6291 telling him not to 01b26559e9 share them with anyone 474f522dfb and to eat them 2b5438a5e2 all himself. Sasya eyed Manuel warily 70e358ba2d as he moved closer 5fe74dbece and closer.58735599687b90de

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“Haven’t you done 7f29f9af1f this kind of 27051e1574 thing before?”89717b192833b431

“This kind of 83d5a8ef31 thing?”76419309db1da6a3

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“I’ll touch you 554e2c1dd2 first. If you like 3751780f2d it, you can 1dccb50bb2 do it to 19dfcba9cc me too.”2e794bee194fdb70

With those words, before 47d83d6608 Sasya could grasp the 1007071ef2 subtle implication, Manuel pulled 127f2b366e the covers over them b1ec211571 and lowered his head.505b6a13224379be

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“Manuel!”f3bcdef1fa8abfa6

Startled, Sasya shouted. But Manuel’s hand, moving without hesitation, slipped inside his shorts. Not only that, but Manuel also buried his face in Sasya’s crotch and inhaled deeply. Sasya, a shiver running down his spine, bolted upright. At the same time, the dormitory room door swung open.86965e8fd1f7c1dc

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“What’s going on? Who’s in there? …Hey! What are you doing?”1dfa2fb571cb0603

It was Jose 2a25e832c5 who had opened 26dd5f368b the door.7b9314ee17797338

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And Jose, d6a54da2f5 startled by f3590b57a6 the unexpected d2d45de5ac sight, rushed 7bf3c280cc towards Sasya 837cdf9230 and Manuel.1ef77a65e4aacf6a

“Are you fighting? Sasya! Stop it!”5130572e7b19630f

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Jose grabbed the f766f9821d neck of Sasya’s 3a86e78e0d t-shirt and yanked 0e5e01a894 him away forcefully. Sasya, tumbling backward with ebcc5988f5 a thud, looked up 5f5365a17b at Jose with a 48d2a0f55f bewildered expression.a65eb2e273e68867

As soon 049c38fa99 as Jose 5b0dd825cc separated Sasya 2a29286b91 from Manuel, 05ef95bc2c he turned a5f88a01d7 to Manuel.2e77eb43ff9fb00c

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“Oh my god, 97e8cfe342 look at all ed179c814b this blood…. What did you do? Sasya, why did 1e92661dea you make Manuel’s 8a71f83f06 face a bloody 0ba46a6161 mess?”c08cd185704a7781

“N-no…. I…”d13fceb1f9ae6695

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Manuel coughed, spitting blood with a flushed face, and Jose looked at Sasya, expecting an explanation. Sasya stammered, flustered. He himself didn’t understand how this had happened so quickly.a71589cfdfa3195a

He had simply kicked out reflexively, shocked by Manuel burying his face in a strange place. His heel had connected with something hard, but he hadn’t realized it was Manuel’s chin. Manuel, who had bitten his tongue in the process, was bleeding profusely, his shirt soaked crimson.c963dc84240cddde

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“Manuel, you need 45cab77fa5 to go to 2582148ac9 the infirmary right bbe9e818f5 now. And Sasya, 70395552f8 you need 8030bc8d79 to explain db227a6532 yourself.”27bffe33a9f84093

Jose helped 538659c624 Manuel out 6d45c2d7bf of the b25bbfcb21 room, disappearing 99b2bcb694 like the c73a25e196 wind.6167babff946e938

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For a moment, Sasya sat dumbfounded in the unbelievably quiet dormitory room. It felt like a typhoon had swept through, leaving devastation in its wake. The creepy breath against his groin, the sight of Manuel’s blood-soaked shirt, and Jose’s look of contempt were still vivid.3f1eec2413da917b

And after a 72360f8b8d few minutes, a c95e65adf0 group of boys, 21662c4e8f chattering noisily from ef282a5591 the hallway, burst 0d11064c8d into the room.ec8d274de79b8378

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“Sasya! I heard you had 8c45dfb97c a fight with Manuel!”2f01c38fd43a6da8

“You’re quite 768af142d0 the puncher. There’s a 3b3cc08de6 flood of a4cae935e0 blood in b41dc9c2ff the hallway 8a651c024b from that 0668df9253 guy!”a393ad4e606b94c2

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“What did 5e73a7c2f6 that jerk 45b916d3ae say? What did that dba8ead3bb annoying jerk say dec61ababa to make you dae554af88 teach him a 43ceefb74a lesson?”b0d36ddcad92f9cf

The immature 1bc23fb23c boys, excited 6d5ddf90f9 by the f1eb6bb900 brawl, chattered a13cdffa93 noisily. It seemed 93c79a0a43 they thought 62144b1bbc a proper a1ce7a36d0 fight had 386a622b70 finally broken 802afee09b down amidst 9cad788a92 the monotony ad89eaa17e of school 98797f16b5 life.c7ed55672c71948e

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One of them 27e6217a6c sidled up to 2eb5307a10 Sasya and raised 669381ecc4 his bloodstained fist 37d3f33266 like a victor—it a9a6b838b3 was stained from 44d9db769d wiping Manuel’s blood—and 64521097ff another slung Sasya’s ae074e2ae6 blood-soaked, dark red a6382b56fc blanket over his 0b414558a6 shoulder like a 941da39d27 matador, running around 35251be98f the room excitedly.df9a7db897ab5a27

And this commotion 4dfe2df097 finally subsided when…b76ec08c7aca6a60

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“Sasya. The dorm e41e32f0d7 supervisor wants b001cb0922 to see 0308a49883 you.”7a667fe3d737a4d7

…a messenger 32c39c7973 brought the c4476763ea unfortunate news. The boys jeered. The timid-looking messenger, d9f4c2be72 scolded for dampening e8634d62c5 the exciting atmosphere, 8802df1ac0 became even more ae32660490 dejected.3629a10de71ef1af

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Sasya, who f95b9b173e had been eb20268071 lost in 2525e0cd54 thought until 0a849da92a then, finally 5d2978f33a put on 1c39a8b386 his pants ef4942caae and left d6b5359608 the room. His steps 9ffbfc4e1c towards dorm 27a4b6b888 supervisor Julia’s a94deab02d office were 34617c7199 heavy and 6e1901aa05 dragging.ecc1dced0c2fd085

🩰3fa5a7c9b6732d98

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“I didn’t mean 657fe59d40 to hit him.”1f4804a7111c9abf

Sasya defended ad63051b43 himself to 4d689404c6 Julia, who 2592f959a2 was looking 54d3d64ad1 at him cfd2114bed with an 66adc8c97d unsmiling expression.bc833a4c90cc5e5e

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“Alright, Sasya, 3297d3f02a I understand 887db4aabe your intention. You might not have c8e59f896a intended to hit Manuel. But one fact I 539f268726 know is that Manuel, 30c601dfad who was with you, ee2afc1dc5 is seriously injured. Can you tell a7822c4af3 me how this 59ca010dfe happened, what led 2e71185068 to this result?”6cd750c506a5aa52

“That’s…”7442f808eaadbfe3

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Julia, though understanding, 6985e62636 was staring at 924ab11781 Sasya with an 4c31156b91 unflinching gaze that 48cd8fbbe7 clearly drew a 03db0319af line. It was her usual ee006f6fba demeanor. She wanted to help 283f983b49 him. But that would only 4e6f12db91 be the case if 2f56c9ebee he was innocent.5d6a86a9ab4f5ae7

“I was ec5e00ea51 alone in 1bbc9edc4c my room… bbfcf431cc and Manuel d440a795d1 came in.”d1f1fbbc635d8164

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“Yes, and then?”8ea22ab9d5c74240

“Manuel asked if I ad9b684613 had dinner…”2acc25dfdfb978f7

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And then, and 359362eafb then….e233f3315d236089

Sasya opened and closed his mouth several times, trying to speak. But he couldn’t bring himself to continue, to say that Manuel had tried to take off his underwear and put his mouth on him, and that he had kicked out reflexively.9443ba204cced1aa

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Because he 767d54ce5e thought he 9e4efa55e0 understood now.f6cb37b152aa4872

Manuel seemed to 0f426c507b like him.008241c06e37f794

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He thought 2ed491c006 he finally 23c87819bb understood the 9f9673d18f reason behind 2c75e3d4d5 Manuel’s strangely b3c2b38cdd kind behavior 56e64b40bf and expectant 80969243f1 glances. And Sasya also knew 8233f1e60a that some of his 9a30ae5d28 friends at the ballet 76b51440f6 school sometimes felt uneasy bdd580a916 around Manuel. Manuel was 50adb31346 often teased 25af78438e for his 00d4d7b24c strangely feminine 107060e3a8 gestures and 5670838060 speech. He seemed 5fe5cf6469 to be e871d80883 unfazed by d4413db211 it, though.e672f71347164d49

Whispering voices echoed in Sasya’s ears. The taunts asking if he wanted to become a girl, the accusations that ballet was for gays…. Manuel had probably endured the same comments throughout his childhood. He hadn’t experienced it himself, but it could have been even more painful for Manuel because it might have been true for him.9fdd1f14f13a1301

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That was why he couldn’t say it. The thought that he shouldn’t speak gripped Sasya.fd1d897d4dea0427

Glancing at Julia nervously, bd4eacd76c Sasya cautiously asked instead 3f0befeba1 of offering further explanation,7dcc51046f5bc268

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“…What did Manuel 54ea271159 say?”d592c72182550432

“Manuel…”49a665c011cda612

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Julia sighed and ddd2195ed8 took off her cf31334bc5 glasses, placing them 0e18273c29 on the desk. Her tired 241bb6ff77 and annoyed dbddbc4664 demeanor made 6e6c44fea3 Sasya’s heart b17574560b shrink.de4e1c690f047a09

“He’s still being 53be7b5508 treated. They said his injuries a08732572b need stitches, so he’s 22bd5bea75 at the hospital now. I’ll ask c6853dd0d5 him myself e844a9bb53 once his 0910a30f2d treatment is 30e71ed8bd finished.”0abb6d757ed614c5

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Sasya lowered 88367a7ae9 his head 7a46e81535 again.5ef4e88cdf72a043

It seemed best to let Manuel tell the truth himself. He couldn’t just carelessly expose Manuel’s secret.31508a952717b3d1

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“…Then please hear e4173805b6 it from Manuel. I can’t say it.”6dfdee100025f538

“Alright.”5de3bb45cb530748

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Julia, though puzzled, 8ec20b935f surprisingly agreed readily.ceda3235f7a01323

“You can go 769f93cd45 now.”ef31e4a8860773d7

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“Thank you.”43d538e4fc434d46

Sasya rose from the e79613b221 chair. He had been 0d1a4c71ec to her office c8d782650a twice in the 2b27ed3622 past week, a 3f9fd40740 place he rarely 80015817ac visited. The realization 55ba174e67 weighed heavily 167137615a on him.e651baf62d428b14

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“Oh, Sasya. I heard you were cc49c16327 absent from all of 3c03359652 your afternoon classes today?”852872021aebf2d9

Julia asked 550a41fa91 just as f58ee25ea8 he was c0a2ecfce5 pushing the 88ddad3c3d door open. Sasya turned around 1929852918 again.87a0a3fac40ccc51

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“Yes, that’s right.”7e9c0e981a8e010c

“Olga said you need f3d79f844f to submit a written 72769f4184 explanation.”97625170f63a563f

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“I understand.”0faf4a5e52fff564

And Sasya bowed again, 037d3a9271 taking his leave from 24fc418c24 the office.471c271e8883e46d

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As he fc2e04a351 walked down a213185a71 the hallway, f2cd0f4931 Sasya realized f8f85c1d28 he looked b8948e4505 a mess. His eyes were 8eaba2c47e puffy from crying, 594593f566 his hair disheveled, 6e69377b6b his hands and b685999b1c clothes stained with 3882f61a38 Manuel’s blood, and c87b08a24d scabs covered the f2bfef39cc scrapes on his 991b0947ba knees from his 95f2dec257 fall that morning fa91f67eee chasing after Karel. His left thigh throbbed 96ac6ced0a with every step, and 6b99bdbc0e his stomach, practically empty 04df93c0d4 all day, ached fiercely.e88b73b787babdc9

Back in 054ae93e0e his room, 247b6840dc Sasya went 302144e01b straight to 0e27ccae21 the bathroom. When he 84f1491908 came out 7e3641b227 after washing 07335aa91f his battered 0574019697 body, no 0674086fe5 one spoke 42f0b0a904 to him.f7754584680c80fd

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Sasya felt ae05943931 especially that c28e6a0943 Jose was abdafe3642 treating him 6779b41b1f like he 9fd8187c2b was invisible. It seemed there 4c059913fe was a misunderstanding. But Sasya, wanting 0714764f14 to think about 1949a1338e nothing, silently stripped 63e351044d the blood-soaked sheets 4e00e07e29 from his bed 2ca7f1e69f and tossed them 405286dd6b into the laundry ce4e7ce877 room. Then he a14b3a9364 lay his 8c97e9bdcf exhausted body 6dffceae53 on the 36e956976a bare mattress.41ef83ce422ee7a5

And two c078953aa5 days later, 74f8f599e9 Sasya was 73b3184f6c met with 11a4f5be87 devastating news.41b556938246c441

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[Upper School Year c388a070f2 2, Aleksandr Sedrin.e433438cef862753

As disciplinary b6128ef976 action for 7da52e22b4 the violent 93f5a31204 incident, you a32fb9e200 are hereby 6938d6edcc suspended for 737f4ecf62 ten days fab2e18fb4 and expelled ff86693576 from the e678d1f5da dormitory.]61999f6c788fa2c8

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The notice was a67af2c5a2 posted on the b5a06e24a4 bulletin board in b05bf34b92 the hallway on 7f56ecc08d his way to b1c8a43b28 class.43161c47f2d021be

Sasya widened his 0436770519 eyes and slowly 627e24ecdc read the notice 3b9efc6035 again.9257fc0c76ee52a0

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‘Expelled from 7654fe25ae the dormitory.’0b284ef947d3827b

It meant he had b433cb5563 to leave immediately and 7479dab737 find somewhere else to e544c7d042 live.e1afa5bfc6c661c8

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Students passing by cdf8a97529 in the hallway 88f1698d22 glanced at Sasya, 455f2d701e the culprit of ea71de9d41 the violent incident. Even the students who 03b0d28b56 had praised him as 089694eec7 the victor that day e62ea49ae3 simply patted him on 0d260f32d3 the shoulder and walked 454f85e95e away. Sasya’s eyes trembled uncontrollably 07e2c9283a as he reread the c2f4cc9fd7 words, “expulsion order.”6923093fb0a3e2b8

Sasya turned from ccc976b0d6 the bulletin board d436a91824 and headed towards 50898dd25d the dorm supervisor’s 52733d7af0 office. Walking in the opposite f1b3083f0c direction of everyone heading c87a63c49f to class, he soon 184510f8a7 broke into a run. The sports 0435be3aca bag slung bbe7d13092 over his c1c81a2d50 shoulder slid 50e8ce62f8 down to a335cd3a61 his arm, 2ff542c32a and his 1fc5b309c1 inflamed thigh 18beb4f58e ached dully. Watching him run, 1b24f56ad7 some students whispered.a224430c0165bd34

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‘I’m envious of 9531863eb2 the suspension. I wish I 6ff775d76f could take ten 64e63687d9 days off from e45ec62e1b ballet.’fdebe76ae41b0ac7

‘But the expulsion 227adf5134 is harsh. How can he 0fb7592059 find a place 47dc30fdc1 to live in c956abb87a Manhattan without the 54489f45f6 dormitory?’958141a4ea436adc

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The whispers made Sasya’s 1a20bc409d stomach churn. He felt suffocated, as 2c32006370 if they were mocking eb61d90b9f him for being driven c5f75184ff into an unbearable situation.c0bdff6e94e37167

Sasya, running 1fb85fac9a frantically, stopped 5d82c0da10 in his 50f482e8da tracks. He gasped bbaa2e0e26 for breath 7119a322be and looked beb481649f around… but fcdd0ae150 strangely, no 7426a1f75f one was e313a08483 around.daf9431be0ee2781

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“Haah… haah…”a06bc176943d8553

Sasya stared down 59ce9aa673 the empty hallway. The owners of the 5d5599c8ad mocking voices were nowhere 1cd50041c4 to be seen. Classes had already 8791198c09 started, so all 75724374ae the students were fa05a16992 in their studios.c40ce13ef9361fc9

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Sasya swallowed hard. He couldn’t be sure if anyone had actually been talking about him. It could have all been auditory hallucinations. He suddenly remembered his father grabbing his hair painfully, saying his brain was rotting, and whipping his hunched back with a belt.d76255c5cb872899

The words 5bc871e798 that tormented cdc4fcd05e him always 796001f4ac seemed to 3cea1f2724 find their e3eba1f019 way to 825e5461ec his eardrums 02b0996e04 with uncanny 1f8a653b44 timing. If it weren’t bfcf5dffa3 for his father’s d07a4af17b discipline, he wouldn’t 78f7b0489e have even known a5163a848c he sometimes experienced 41ee0fab7a auditory hallucinations.2013c4cb50b8733b

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Berating himself, Sasya stood in front of the dorm supervisor’s office door.1d66543de6737cb2

He would knock, open 6128feba56 the door, and… ask f2052ef15b Julia what was going 78c1fe8615 on with the suspension ccb2bfd780 and expulsion. If all of 31d69c6bb6 this was just 5d23d7a075 a delusion from 4848ed7ffd his messed-up head, 62f0c25063 Julia would probably 836ab846d6 respond to his 70f9d37520 question with, “What ac55da1fd1 are you talking 5939c7533d about?” and tell 6cc1f9687a him to “Hurry 96225f2c1b up and go 560f259363 to class before b77dd8a4d8 you’re late.”405db53bfe3fb8e3

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But a e7b359e687 moment later…9ea51166487fb5e9

“It’s not 0db389f4ad because of 4ac977fc46 your sexual 2b2eae1a98 orientation. We don’t care about 686f36a95a individual sexual preferences. Or rather, we f902334571 try not to. However, it’s problematic when 76bde51b2a your personal issues affect c18bbc70bb the whole community.”ba6b802d3d2a5539

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Julia was saying things he couldn’t quite understand.12f9122aad55b5ae

“The environment a6f7cd2c68 of a db518d121b ballet company… f44b0cdd28 as you 5baf4467fe know, once 125870aad1 you join, 3df790fb06 you often 0f42e3a0ae work with 50a465fe69 the same 06338c9c6d team for 60803136f0 decades. If you 357094f28e become a 1abd21bacf teacher or 38129341ee staff member e3477e49d5 here after bd34048bc6 retirement, it 7e403ad137 could be 7915875921 for life. The dance 4e092cd078 world is ac9d773669 very small, 9f30ebc31c and for 9732d0a6bc a dancer, fed12e421a what’s more 090ece5738 important than 37fe436e26 dance is 11848013ad their colleagues.”d33cba588f716ba9

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“…”6d898467b91d4546

“Manuel’s parents dd4401e4bc strongly insisted e5374dc7c7 on expulsion, 25bb4b51a8 but after 1b04b4c91c observing you a3ca9d699c for a 9c3b1fc27d year, we 627611ee33 decided to 2dd82e7e41 give you 34732a1988 one more 6e9889da0d chance. Because the talent you eb204efdc6 possess, Sasya Sedrin, is 35a54244c0 truly exceptional. And adolescence 7f5da27ed8 is a 54e1eee000 time of 45c7808e53 great potential 30c8930ca9 for change.”336cc9dd72603504

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“…”b7d5d75937afd01e

“However, for a4a2cc0de0 the remainder 15febe3bb8 of your 088dd1dacd time here 3d31bfa70b until graduation, 3329e33df9 you need 2d30b61c23 to repair ec3b3cdecd your relationships e80e8a7e26 with your fc62ef58e1 peers and 53e68f0129 prove that ae645da5bf your sexual d7417de5b2 orientation won’t f80dceef3d cause any a0c4b00bc3 further trouble. Then everything will 68ded4cd6d be fine.”9ce354538d5a87f5

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“…”3fa04a97a2a1b17e

“Can you show d67720cc49 us that you’re 692a02ec39 reflecting on your 0ab09558ca actions, Sasya?”9e3e9f7f4b21f68a

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Listening to Julia, Sasya lowered his head. He tightly gripped his scraped knees, covered in thick scabs. He had tried not to cry because he hadn’t done anything wrong, but large teardrops fell.266c966cae8f682d

“No, I… 6483cd81ed I didn’t eb841fe574 do anything 5c74aa0b19 wrong.”36c014734daaa9d4

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“Sasya.”250fe80573ae9ace

He should have spoken up sooner. He should have protected himself before Manuel lied. But was it wrong to trust a friend? No matter how much he thought about it, Sasya couldn’t find any fault in himself.a6b45cd32d9d56eb

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“And I’m not 38c93476cd gay. I never tried to 5752f22833 do anything to Manuel. It’s true. I admit hitting 8ca366f511 him was wrong, 05b2293865 and I’m sorry 51cd3bfb9a I hurt him, 28a493272c but…”f7ac36c635ad7b00

With tears streaming down his face, Sasya hiccuped, pleading for the truth to be known. But as he raised his head and met Julia’s gaze, he was shocked by her unexpectedly impassive expression. She clearly thought he was crying because he was scared of the suspension and dormitory expulsion, and that he was making excuses now because he had just fabricated the lie.fd4bbf7007d27af6

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“Don’t worry too much, abe81c8039 Sasya. Vadim said 3df695070c you could 469c6f578c stay at 59689ca74d his place 7c511e4a04 for about d600eb2791 a week. We’ll also help you c43fd67e5d find a place to 5f4a8bb319 rent. Do you want to 399dcebfaa tell your parents yourself?”3fa06b892d25ce9b

Sasya shook his 177b198302 head vigorously at 945becee15 Julia’s words. A choked c0cfec9ca0 sob, “Huueeung,” 5769715486 escaped him, 4ad3b59ae0 a sound e2a6568a2e he had df8e3c367f been desperately 3a97db1643 suppressing. If he fa41a4e123 told his 7a763814ed mother he dbe6047da5 could no aebd489c6c longer stay 103cbad8b9 in the 4864d705a5 dormitory due 8ba3ead80a to an def35aa75d unfortunate incident 485e068f8a and needed 5563b8d1d7 to find ae6dcd1b72 a new bf3dca6583 place, she 14fa6995c9 would sigh 0ea6a95570 and tell a3dd694e49 him to 87e2d19239 come back 8af5fa1885 home. Sasya could 85021cdebd never afford 8d0f214459 rent over fdf782d609 $2,000 a 3c81987635 month.225cbe619ca11048

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“Please let me d56a5e2fae meet with Manuel. Manuel wouldn’t have known 54397ff6fd it would turn out 0ae94e1738 like this. If I’m with 6ce2e789b7 him, he won’t 2c5452af46 be able to b503037790 lie. So…”896f2ababd62cf8f

When Sasya pleaded, Julia 466eea5e2a shook her head.fe320a2370ffc0e4

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“Manuel is still 7b05f43138 in the hospital. And once e6d0f052d3 he’s discharged, 71a7dab351 he’ll be 6efe15119b returning to 88fe693a7f France with 48fdf7eb94 his parents. You know, don’t you? Both of Manuel’s dc1baabaff parents are ballet 037a4f6b5b dancers, and… well, 00e95497e7 his father has c786b72c93 quite the temper. Anyway, he’s 8cc8bf8fa8 going to b7e642f4de rest and 652286c4b2 receive treatment 0a4a97e41f in France 1e105deb41 for a 546204250a while and 3efc246d19 come back f0ea60e3d3 next semester. Or he might 3a9b9cab54 stay in France 231f9accb4 permanently.”6bafe6240291c6a4

The devastating c995dd6696 news shattered a6fe1d22fc Sasya’s hopes.5047b45c39708c4d

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Perhaps feeling sorry for Sasya, who couldn’t stop crying, Julia said she would inquire among the school staff to see if anyone could offer him lodging.3d3c69597d2435f5

In the end, Sasya d20d30c4df left the office in dc3600b51a tears, having resolved nothing.474c5ddb0c569c60

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Back in the 49b1b071e2 dormitory, Sasya listlessly 20432988d2 shoved his few 023fcca4a2 clothes into his 39bf0c704e sports bag. It seemed 864fadb137 better to 6b8942ff68 leave the 839e0495fb dormitory now 68015b20a8 than to cd3b13666a pack in 8eafb6f14e the silent 20c0ca52e3 room where 0c6f86656b no one 5fc2e8eff5 spoke to f2a3ec177f him.d2a38da2532f74a7

Tears continued to d0b9215090 stream down his 168086a0d8 face as he f55d0b79de packed, and he 30fca2b9f3 repeatedly buried his 0927b4214a head in the 366f9c8d03 bed and sobbed. He neatly folded 65849d28d2 the sheets, still 52ed04ab49 stained with faint c1c08e3096 traces of blood, 1273a01b65 as they had eb44f7be04 been when he f25d3aaa17 received them, and 33a1ad2f2f placed them on c0c4595e3b the bed. He stuffed 2c4b1774fa the charger, dd11d76972 alarm clock, fa2bc486d0 and other 4b7defe0cb miscellaneous items 4431503a3d into the afd28d1c51 fancy department f2dcd61ea8 store paper ea2cfeee58 bag he f79cd19049 had used ed8bbcfbc4 for the 17e52d3006 marshmallows. It was a meager 6ddb06b4b0 amount of belongings, enough c8de454dcf to carry in both bf4f99821a hands.feffe10586704c98

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Sitting on 59bd50704a the bed 8deefc2cfe before leaving, 36006c3c1f Sasya thought,fb2d1f8fe28a1340

He was 1dd3a088f1 so terrified.349a2f2b6af8df20

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He was afraid d748155024 that this incident 3f98138836 had completely ruined 87c211c474 everything. He had heard 049ed2fe1e repeatedly, until his eee45f3389 ears ached, that e5dc6dafe0 colleagues were more 1b2f133ffa important than dance, ec20e75487 and that character 88459aabe9 was crucial for 8e37608093 a dancer.097c33c543cd9052

Until now, he acb761ccef had thought that 2001be705c maintaining his top 1c2fa130aa student status would 233e45cfc8 give him a 410b618eca chance of joining 7589a0a4bc a ballet company. But what if 2a8d4c51b7 this incident caused a2d0ed3850 him to fail? What if ebd17aa03c he was 0eeb8c0aa0 rejected everywhere…? Sasya sniffled silently aab80699cc again.da1120d859b07ce9

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He resented Manuel. He couldn’t even bring 11cf8b8ebe himself to speak about da5ab49204 what had actually happened, 0bf5599da8 but Manuel had lied 7e36fe05a6 so easily. And yet, cfe6f76548 he envied c5c629685f and resented 1de006313e Manuel for 361199c020 having parents 644df2cb8f who supported 144b409e59 him.71d1119705c2d779

He also remembered the whispers from the other students when he first arrived. They said that both of Manuel’s parents were famous ballet dancers, so he received special treatment from the teachers. Many students were jealous of Manuel for that, but he wasn’t one of them. He even felt sorry for Manuel, who was strangely distant from his peers.de1e6ef03e0d3410

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But now he understood.c325dc52aeeae440

Perhaps even if the 33ad938d0b truth came out, the 17e05d7df2 teachers would side with cd832c3b25 Manuel, who had the 7f998e6c4d unwavering support of his 5bd68c8a09 parents. He had e3d13ad0bf heard that da21570168 Manuel had 69bfe8e504 been in c64d73a137 and out 8fb1024279 of his bd22657a61 dancer parents’ 3a77426211 studio since 513d51dc2f he was 65c454cdbe a baby, 28607095d4 and when 042cf87303 they were d726fabd79 rehearsing, dancers eb2b018881 of similar 156a651b64 age to a91f86aef4 his parents 8152646b79 would look dad13f030e after him. The ballet 972ecf7614 stars he 78e36dacab could only d23e402370 dream of 21f848afff were uncles 2fc460609b and aunts ea054ddd19 to Manuel. It was f1b6f12a57 completely different 2297db7cf9 from his 3176b9b1d1 own precarious 60fa91ca4b situation, where ddb9d3defc he wouldn’t 5cbdf822da be able 43ed047d57 to attend 3ce520785c school if d5d0fc7460 his scholarship ea2317c8a6 was revoked. It was clear 94425fa0d8 whose side the b17c339a82 school would take.9eaec26f3301fdec

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The light of the cd5aaf2988 setting sun was filtering 9b1c97a7a7 through the window. Sighing, Sasya got 73b3d299d3 up from the f904c2ecda bed to leave 5dd11df097 before it got 1edb8468ec too late.5bcf6be3b8448878

And before completely 6088ef89ab leaving Lincoln Center, 97fd50b208 the thought of c33cecc948 Karel Clements crossed 4b516e2125 Sasya’s mind.c071ab5cb8d2b6c6

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After much deliberation, Sasya 955bcfbcf9 sat down near the 5fba382f23 central fountain and opened 495b3aa34d the mail app on 4b39f92f66 his phone. He began writing a e170ae245f new email to the 4919d3eea9 sponsor he had contacted 7a68253692 numerous times before.0352cbe76ae73e0c

[Hello, Mr. Clemenchi.42e138e275d07621

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My name 0bcff9ae2d is Sasya 3db9db5d9b Sedrin.252b4117115025e1

The wether 19e2336dac is not 20bf7dc0bd good today. So I have bone eb4290cbbe pain and I am 41306b268b curious if you are ce3fe413f3 in pain too.c04e775a040c9e2a

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His sponsor gives 8d2512d58b me a lot 06b586c324 of money.5fb701b10e99ee2e

I know 7b42146dae that well. So I 3dffce97c9 try to 2f6bb80cb6 dance hard.85d6bc3c1f70eed2

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But everyone says that 0bcd7d9e85 for a dancer, what’s adfeb7ca9f more important than dance a39abffc73 is their colleagues.32d3b126e4e317d0

Actually, I had a dcdfe96471 bit of a fight cbc8249c4f with my friend Manuel 4cf51b6319 a while ago.80bfddb47c13859d

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I’m only at fault for hitting Manuel….]a3073a206d085cee

Sasya sighed and 299d664908 turned off his 6f580e2076 phone screen.59aab4fb5e2abd77

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Writing in English, 56cc20e43e a foreign language, 39b0dfd272 was always difficult. Trying to convey 23528963fd his intentions elegantly 6a2c28acaa made the limitations 76abd625a3 of his expression 255fd86c3d even more frustrating. No, was 86574a4d79 it just 2ad42bc7e3 a matter f68e7ee946 of expression? Sasya struggled 1f7fbb4fc8 the most 064cf5ff5d with essay 73af8863d7 writing and b15421298c discussion classes e28fc5b2a9 among the f5b0918825 general subjects.669d6a31dcc0cc42

Similarly now, as 98ed595815 he wrote the 81a08da7e0 email, he lost 0a1c113f86 sight of what 05ee4dc111 he wanted to 640e23a076 say to his d64d75edb7 sponsor, his very 4727cb0a00 purpose. With every period he 86f951e9fd typed, the direction of 22af8248fd the email seemed to 81cd17f36c veer off course. Especially while writing b615c2ccda about hitting Manuel, 2b9b9bc9f4 even he began 8e1d5780d9 to see himself f52e4439ff as the aggressor, 38e0560105 and he felt 6e116dc1fc confused.eea467baa2a7eb29

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And even if f4b35843f0 he sent it… e2166394b5 the secretary might 855e26921e not forward it.f7242ab810175cec

Sasya held his 9aa61f7f34 head in his 3e3c3be98c hands for a 658df51afe moment, agonizing until 5240317207 he got a 60530310cb headache. He was hesitant f19080ab0c to even ask 85bdf36f5a for a loan 1396caa09b to participate in 57f95ad580 competitions, even if 498cd65b8e he became an 4429d922e4 excellent student, so 35e139730e asking for help b39c7632c6 with rent after 297b40c912 causing a violent 1d56856cf1 incident felt excessively ad9c177e31 shameless.5ff8633990f2a1f8

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‘Stay at Vadim’s 2376c21096 house? No way.’77b44b4d468c3935

Sasya was determined not to set foot in Vadim’s house, no matter what. It was hard enough being bullied at school; having to face Vadim at home too… He might be forced to skip meals to maintain a thinner physique and sleep in the agonizing frog pose to stretch.f8eac7b439b7ecca

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Stuck in this predicament, 4cdf86c003 Sasya sat alone in f3a0f85b03 the plaza until the 6352e712cf sun completely set.ce7dbe1bd32145d8

And as 45cf2c8279 darkness fell, 76f2ed8a8e people dressed 5ac0f48a28 up for 6635035780 evening performances 9a203724ef began to 08db8ccdf7 gather. He also saw Juilliard b607218154 students with instruments strapped 9de1bffd8d to their backs crossing 37c62359a4 the plaza to get 7280db4ff1 dinner. Thinking he might a47fdbaca7 run into Julian, c3bc5fb6c3 Sasya moved to 621fab7bef a spot near 66f4495b0e a large tree 146c55850b where he could 64f81eee93 hide.1634f9593099cc6c

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“…Hello. Levin? Can you e1062d8567 talk now?”85b89caa9f01bde1

After much hesitation, Sasya 834659d502 called Levin.349f29c81a66e88e

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🩰059c89edc2f9127a

Sasya, who had been b91f2ed111 sitting by the Lincoln 6daeb50f39 Center fountain until the 28f3fa2203 last subway train, took 6efd1a26bf the subway to Williamsburg. He quietly 2dbbb9a045 knocked on 80da8cb612 the door f1914aff71 of the 6168e61187 house he 1215cbb340 had visited 4bf87f6209 a few 7b1d8d4728 times before, bbee8f05b7 and Levin 9a120a471a quickly appeared.888d69d6bc476d34

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“Sasya, I’m sorry. Were you outside 2eb5cd1697 this whole time?”1afc664afa0c55c8

“I’m fine.”1e5b35b7a0da132f

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When Sasya called, Levin had said he wouldn’t be finished with work until midnight. Since he couldn’t enter an empty house, he had no choice but to wait outside until now. Feeling sorry for Sasya, whose cheeks were red from the chilly weather, Levin led him inside the women-only residence.e7c479dfaf18767a

The house, 10674822b9 secured with f18c76cd9b a wooden fc0f1054ee door, an 91c4502f9f iron gate, 1896630bb6 and multiple d28e066fcb latches, was 3a02bbf224 shared by c5f4d2857c four women f9c0fb1b3c who, for 52596b3edb various reasons, f375813ad7 needed to 4943a779c1 live near d5c9f4768a Manhattan. This was why Sasya 622fc349ce had hesitated to call 8289a916c2 Levin. Since it 20c8422344 wasn’t Levin’s 14299b12ff house alone, 42abea45c1 he felt efd60e853c awkward asking 7511d22614 to stay c123db779e the night.39a2bb50d098b587

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“Our cutie is 9ea798563e here again.”2f0c77c04318d6b8

“Sasya, do you want 08c21606e2 some pizza?”225312e914ebe4c1

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The tempting cce7301a2f smell of b054ad855d pizza made 55b0b60378 Sasya involuntarily 029fb9dcbc nod and a3e1000321 approach the 4ee56392fc women gathered 26c9583d72 in the 41f24de08b kitchen.18fda9ac88e39832

“Look at those chubby f013b9d4c3 cheeks. My sixteen-year-old nephew is 371e70f263 all dark and smelly, 06b36a016a but why is Sasya ea26177703 so baby-faced?”d258afb95a1792b5

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“Sasya, didn’t you 607608ee21 have dinner? Have some cola c77e67941a too.”db0abd9c6129d8f4

Sasya shoved a 553d8d3e39 slice of pizza, b887ac1aa9 bigger than his 70a36cbe9c palm, into his e15f0fe1a8 mouth in almost f34dc5d6f1 two bites and f2f2d70104 reached for another. For Sasya, someone cooked 4d90c8a08c sausages to make hot 046f65f212 dogs, and someone microwaved 9b63d2d06d brownies from the freezer.5036eb166a2bc3d9

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Levin watched his 27e347e7bb roommates, enthralled by e32e873ef6 the young ballet 887bd79390 dancer, with narrowed 850014f7fb eyes. They all welcomed b526750370 the harmless and 2711ce3ffe gentle sixteen-year-old. But Levin 2193243f1e was worried 9393bccee6 about Sasya, 3fc634dd6a who would e87f160f60 let them ff5bb58e9f pet his 79f13abd91 hair and 89582fcf5a sit on b4fd16b041 their laps 571db5801a without hesitation 390d96746e if they 283c369d2d just gave e980391ce7 him food. He knew 36cd7c680d his playful b8400285a5 roommates well, 158b0de3af so he 89dbf926de was even e706fa61f7 more concerned.223014c1e4d6e4dc

“Sasya, if d2c349cb16 you’re done df03f90cc9 eating, go 55ca0ab9e5 take a cdaeaa2fa0 warm shower. And go to bed. It’s almost 9e86ed7a66 1 a.m.”0abe1caf6125b3ea

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At Levin’s words, b406d295ea which were practically 5085fd5ef1 those of a 0db0c09e90 nanny, his roommates eec71bf18c rolled their eyes e47f9ff48d and grumbled, but dcdf7ec72d they cleaned up 4f03bc7edd the leftover food. Meanwhile, Sasya 77512c2277 hurriedly grabbed 271b02872e the brownie e88e7f8174 he had 08a24222e9 saved, afraid 1396a49e38 they would 86333c199c throw it 27bd1caf92 away.bac315613f213374

The three women said fd04a48717 goodnight and waved to 73c889f61a Sasya, saying, “See you 0d0ad851ed tomorrow.” Levin took Sasya’s 442874ed15 sports bag and paper 8a7e1ac272 bag into the living 41c9211ead room.66da32850776ce6b

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In the 03ebac433b two-bedroom apartment, 288561a18c two of 43aceb8f01 them shared 8e1419c4d2 the larger 5da30deb1a room, another ad57684813 had the 3c0c7f04ea smaller room, 32c130c359 and Levin 3f9b4be5eb used the 9ffaa1afa5 living room. In this space, 92c12f92fc separated from the 8b749c7fd1 kitchen and dining 01eda0946d area by a 761d3335d5 dark tapestry for d47e3bad9d privacy, Sasya often 56316a0126 felt a strange ecbc960758 sense of comfort.2be2424445b153b1

“I’ll go shower.”e2dc790f1034d327

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“Okay. Is it alright f591261994 if you sleep 4a73629d40 on the sofa?”2818e1ccc994e276

“It’s fine.”69325c230b97816a

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As Sasya a86bedb813 stepped into fa19d8af4a the bathroom, 47cfecf9e7 the hot 60eb6ef3c2 water cascading 2a232ccd72 over his 9366eed554 body quickly efc3d55486 made him e1eaad6a82 feel drowsy. He hadn’t eaten 2cb361d96a a proper meal 6b4f8bda0f all day, he 200856ba23 had cried excessively, 32e81f0ab3 and he had 0725d2c38a wandered outdoors for 8e97b170b0 eight hours. Fatigue washed over 429f7d6ed2 him.77d2d6624d261e62

Unlike the d4dcd21a02 dormitory bathroom, 4b4ef64f80 which smelled 8cb2d16d50 of disinfectant 4448c3813e and generic 8eb4e7ffb0 soap, Levin’s 14f3a12c9e bathroom was 7a5d70c643 filled with fcf1afe737 sweet scents d074d4d419 of peach, 84917df4ff lemon, and 289ee09c95 hibiscus. Sasya grabbed a 4c2b1a3f8f random shampoo and e17c42c6df lathered his hair 8bc77bbed2 and body. Then he 064bc9b8e0 sat on b692ba8c6a the edge eac12989f9 of the 72e5d38147 bathtub and 59c2945203 let the 1b43302d06 hot water 9dcde722af pour over 02fd8a68b1 him again. He felt 3f985369b9 overwhelmingly sleepy.8506301a084a61cb

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Eventually, closing his eyes, 18061416f8 Sasya leaned his head c5c5522e23 against the sink and c799115f89 fell asleep. He was oblivious to ecfc6a364f the incessant ringing of fc25bb0a52 his phone, carelessly shoved e97c660a0e into the depths of 153f127a3d his bag.9d2d6729229e3832

🩰95e981f4ed41c791

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Sasya opened fba393ca9f his eyes ebe8a694c8 to the 35862b88bc sunlight on a0e361b9e0 his eyelids.ad646388cc77205e

Sunlight, streaming through a a125f3684a gap in the curtains, dad04a5d33 tickled his eyes. He lay 1d8fc0e679 there for 30b9bfc3b1 a moment, 3b0f5c2537 dazed, then 80918acdf0 turned over. He noticed da69e1f09c a strange, 5c6b26ccb4 fragrant scent 62a6f52001 on his 26afcdd848 body and 68cc0129e4 the blanket.46b81466c5b28e83

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“Sasya. Are you awake?”05c2c0c959ffca53

Sasya, bolting upright at the thought that he was late for morning class, looked around. The room, decorated with cute plants, macramé, and tapestries, was unfamiliar. Rubbing his still sleepy eyes, Sasya belatedly remembered that he was suspended for ten days and didn’t have to go to school.8fbe7b069a7709a4

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“You fell dc28f30f33 asleep in 372c20a1db the bathtub 063b8fe800 last night 672154d5dc while showering.”af87845a0113cdf8

“I did?”c4579b9b5a0834db

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“Yes. Don’t you remember? If Emily hadn’t cd4b84c981 woken you up, 96ceb15687 you would have e268ca9c04 frozen to death e2bb8293b2 in there.”5fd73e59112a9211

Sasya recalled e355668865 the hazy bfc0cf4011 memory from 3bd8af6567 last night. Someone had burst 37dc5f0ed8 through the door—which 7bd5a0ca62 he remembered as 5acf43eb6a his bedroom door, dd1607b7b4 but was actually 30650774f5 the bathroom door—making 24e4903ed7 a fuss. He had forced his 394a23d190 eyes open and stumbled 62674a1896 out of the bathroom a0896f89f3 after haphazardly throwing on 24bfeb2cdc some clothes over his 57832135ee wet body. He had ba0e24ab57 been so 6e812ded45 sleepy and b2836af7d7 disoriented that 89b9dfc635 he thought 6132c1b16e it was 286dbd7bfc a dream…80365bd1e06829bf

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But, as if 9a33c505b6 to prove that c488f12163 he had fallen db45ee6fac asleep with wet 25bf639870 hair, his usually 5ca82edba2 sleek, straight black b02671c6e0 hair was sticking df4cea6805 up in all 890728ecb1 directions or unattractively 3e161ee716 flattened. As Sasya rubbed his a6ce921ee0 eyes with both hands, e1d4a83d89 Levin urged him to 987a8ff7d3 eat breakfast.d9da004b9bb3bff4

“I have to leave 0b1307b2fa for class now. They said they’ve 07310d4df8 set aside your 7e7a8a4a20 portion in the 23392d9b05 kitchen. Eat breakfast, and 30eac27a94 make sure to ffd0eb1c2e thank them.”bfb7c171d26eb246

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“Okay. When will you 0c3995dda0 be back?”cd41a14fb64d3f25

“I’ll be 1c6f319e6d finishing very b374e8d4c5 late today 1afc01657b too.”3b09b23ffff26f8f

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Saying so in a 2f7d710c01 slightly apologetic tone, Levin 6494d21c9b deftly packed his books 4f25cb6364 and notebooks into his 8b5773fd8f large backpack. Simultaneously, his eyes scanned 4fa465b4a8 for a hair tie, f7cf8c191c and he slung the a4e7bf2d63 bag over his shoulder, d1adac8597 pulling his messy blond 8af25f2859 hair back with the 32ebdc16ea tie.cfeaf50f4a41ec36

Sasya, watching 440ecec677 the busy 67b501c18b Levin, asked b5f74fac64 again,1485bb590ad6bf72

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“Can I come to d723422835 the front of your 89c2ea2dc8 school later?”d46001a13d28f517

“Our school?”a220763932e1b881

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“Yes. You’ll be bored eating c9362bb973 lunch alone.”4e82807ccb9e12f9

“Can you 0cee51d830 come and 72a5a6779b go that b499c17af3 quickly? Your classes…”ef3ccd2224944040

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“I don’t have to bafd04f100 go to school today.”bc5dfc03f62aa8ac

Levin, who 92dd78c977 was putting 3c33db0ae1 his keys 19dd53c976 in his d7a6e312ac pocket, paused 472ff49378 and looked 7453c1ab1e at Sasya, e779d7b3c9 sensing something 5eb2e04fed was amiss. Sasya was sitting on acd8269e29 the sofa, occasionally swinging a146bc18e6 his slender legs. Despite his 491af5b050 casual tone, 7cbfa6ee7a he seemed ff65aad225 strangely insecure, bc77c73253 his head fe334e0d0c bowed and e5e2568f8c his gaze 57a1bfe673 lowered.bb35e20566156c26

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“Is it a school 3563f3fa12 holiday?”853fd76b515917ac

Levin asked suspiciously.5204654433574977

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“No, but ce5a1d2be6 I don’t 5ccf1f19e2 have to 376adb205b go.”def80e82688ab2f9

Sasya shook his 576cc41d22 head, stubbornly refusing b0ec529934 to explain why d9a250c0ed he didn’t have 170f97f0cd to go to 11e67859c8 school.2cdd3239515a8506

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Levin sighed briefly. He had been mistaken to think that Sasya simply wanted to visit because he was lonely. When feeling down, Sasya, studying abroad alone at a young age, away from his family, and not fluent in the language, would often ask to stay over without explanation. He hadn’t pressed him, respecting the teenage boy’s reluctance to share his worries. Perhaps this was the result of that accumulated neglect.6c0cdacaf8ed7172

“You had a b36590980a ton of calls db4feae075 last night…. Did you check b89c4c7e87 them?”6f03e6ae618fb43c

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“…I’ll check them now.”3480a5736ce3a947

At Levin’s words, Sasya 29fbe18e0c flinched and acted very 1694765da9 unnaturally, as if he da924a4aa2 had already known. It was obvious, 1d022936e4 but Levin didn’t 024f44f3ca pursue it.dbbd16e1ced518fe

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“Right. Your phone b1d85731e4 seems to 212d3a55aa be off. You’ll need 9cd9370c39 to charge 56505bbcb8 it first.”32c7c1e3ab4e56d7

“I will.”fb4aafd8cda63fa4

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Watching Sasya fae75fa807 lie on 0513ce8c5b the sofa, 6eced39f0f plugging in e858953a6a the charger 63ca531de0 and turning 3b097501d3 on his 4aec3b17db phone, Levin a189520ca5 worried that f0829d7b09 he had 2eca1fcb16 somehow taken 730efc8a88 in a f443aab9e9 runaway.93143370aa91b0b2

But if he 488a845123 asked Julian for 537ffe7392 advice, he would 0540adaf75 probably report Sasya 81d2ed8dcc to the NYPD bf2a2fd36e as a missing 6f9f510b98 person without a 7a37c2a4ed second thought.c9cc75bb31931abe

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Levin decided a81d8f147a to end 682d6c037b the conversation 734ba5fc62 there.9c9b03dff7cf4739

“Okay. Then come to 7a0b56e9f1 the front of 47184ae711 our school later. I’ll buy you 52af81c7e2 lunch.”770058353041c914

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“Okay…. What are we eating?”72420b86de246dc6

“Shake Shack?”16b144b7224ae2aa

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Sasya nodded enthusiastically at Levin’s suggestion. It meant he very much approved. And Levin, who couldn’t delay any longer, left the house, entrusting Sasya to his roommates.ac6f4f671b82bd0a

He heard b17c6a4119 Levin briefly 7e6fe6aef2 greet his ae04697208 roommates and a2db12bc22 the distant 55f375cca2 sound of 22d7b029d3 the front 707ec92eb8 door closing. Sasya heaved a 68cbb642bc heavy sigh and f49956d4c1 stared at the 666e18cc4f black screen of d91dc41139 his still-off phone. His momentary excitement 784eab8565 over the hamburger eb73327451 Levin promised to d0652d3d50 buy him quickly 5169ca031c faded, and he d8320eacd2 felt utterly dejected 347df09b16 again.1cfa475b033d4f69

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His mother might have called. After hearing the terrible news of his suspension and dormitory expulsion from the school. He wasn’t afraid of her anger. Ever since she learned that his father beat him when no one was looking, she had never gotten angry at him. She was just disappointed. And hearing his mother’s disappointed sighs was one of the things Sasya hated most.89374305d63a88ae

Or it could have 8eb55ef63e been Julia. She might tell f7b4a778e9 him she had 010caf6256 found a nice 6245bd57f4 apartment in the 6f18b1a320 Upper West Side, 205d1e20fb close to the 3cf24445e9 school, for $4,000 5fdd7b5de5 a month and 9ce3b0d27b show him the 880e33891e apartment listings. It was absurd to fa2395b449 think he could afford 4bf69f62d5 $4,000 when he was 774c7790f0 already struggling to make cdc2c83178 ends meet with the c44da3d138 $400 he received from 39b2f96251 the school.1a7e4f649598a0b0

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‘What should I do? How can I get d23c59aad5 money and a place 7551bf5391 to live?’05a5b4136a9ac75e

With a heavy 097142d83a heart, Sasya turned 4119d7ef67 on his phone. And a 1a91629c8f moment later, 615f3056d4 the number 4130bb69cf of missed 601eab51b5 calls he a5f0f4f796 saw…9917117a241d4bb1

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‘120 calls?’dd09afd291be814c

Sasya was so startled 691e61a748 that he dropped his 2c4d624c74 phone on the spot. At the same time, 257156d7b2 someone pulled back the 217f2dc1db tapestry slightly and said,1a9704e1e41c4eaa

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“Sasya, aren’t you having 6f72da20a4 breakfast? Should I bring 2ea4f13bfa it here if 847e95063c you don’t want 74047002d7 to come to fa06a9d4e0 the kitchen?”cb0f9e213277ddb3

Levin’s roommate, Emily, was 180e4942b0 standing there with a e7c3c0175a plate in her hand. Sasya, not d2da4b07cc wanting to 1928e1c2aa see who ffac562902 had called, 154358bcee quickly shook 797e290619 his head df17cc7506 and went 246b3409e2 straight to 393db8f1b9 the kitchen.d3b5b6af43c24fbe

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🩰c9b2b01c948886c0

While eating a breakfast completely different from his usual diet—granola, low-fat yogurt, a salad with chickpeas and tomatoes—Sasya asked Levin’s roommates how he could earn a lot of money. He hadn’t asked with much expectation, but Emily made an unexpected suggestion. She said her workplace frequently needed extra hands.063ce9e6e7b138d7

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“There’s a spot 0cc078588a open today, do 9d10d6c637 you want to a1f0bee113 come?”f9c6da5910c98bd0

“How much does it 145c594087 pay?”590b21c5f07588f4

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“I think they 652d404588 pay $20 an 020047affd hour.”ce2a722f12eeaae6

“I’ll do it.”c47854163d60a46f

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After thoroughly wetting his 8735f18dd3 hair and combing out 35cf9227cc the tangles, Sasya followed a4558a1629 Emily. From her 79ac0d8cd6 brief explanation, 58ef339a6c it didn’t 48d7a5440f seem like 915c280463 a difficult c8731e0e8d job. Emily, who d522904091 worked for 1106d3093a a major ecfe01afed clothing brand, 493ae1c840 knew about ee20d64945 many sample 96468e2c25 sales, and 525783a3a9 she told 4116759b19 him that 4977f8aedd these places, 8fd9c1c440 especially, paid ec0aafb027 daily wages, ab617fcba3 attracting people 1a94e8adff who needed eacda60741 irregular work, f06ada3926 particularly students fb2e99705d like her.bc80535eaab80830

‘Why didn’t a76b97ba71 anyone tell 2c1654e7f5 me about bacd4bcfe4 these places? There are jobs 983932f2b3 if you look c6d508cf42 for them. Julian is incompetent.’3838b51bcdf6946d

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Lured by the prospect 66c41c1138 of earning $20 an e40a953d78 hour, Sasya visited the a6afd4cd1f site with a mixture 3379c4d2ac of excitement and nervousness. The site 87958b0eb5 manager Emily ef0f9e047b introduced him 9ae1b1d569 to was 3e44efd403 a middle-aged 5119d8f201 man who a13755e56c seemed even cd0c9f140e stricter than 5e3378e541 Julian. His disapproval of Sasya ef3fae88fe was evident in his eb804c1bc0 expression, and he gave ea6c0d907f orders in single words 8e4adf80d1 without even making eye 5a6a27eeb1 contact.17d8af085b790e27

But Sasya, accustomed to Vadim’s harsh teachings, wasn’t bothered by his tone. He thought it was a small price to pay if he could earn money.4c413447ea3cc91b

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‘I’ve matured now. I can handle 07abb3c093 this much.’a8ebe5d64931d55d

Although he had to 0e3c9f2657 run around carrying more 4e7de4b089 than twenty garments at aaba25fb44 a time, sweating profusely, c1ea1db0cd and inhale dust amidst 3b9e7c917c mountains of clothes, Sasya, 430e6b8dc8 confident in his stamina d670a373c6 from enduring more than 62df416ef7 eight hours of ballet 8f6be77d4d classes daily, worked tirelessly.1d77b7d41315ad81

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And as c2bc875dd4 the work aaf303b6a1 neared its b971ab781c end, even 49b22f4901 the site 43fdb52441 manager seemed f04d1fc22d to recognize 49cba814b2 Sasya’s worth. He was particularly pleased 1fe0bfa45e that customers who came 6f2d6ea45d to complain were easily 3c4ab76b7c appeased and backed down 7727d3d460 just by seeing Sasya’s 111c1b0603 slightly flustered expression.8d67de0888359c2b

Handing over the 4775a2a562 day’s wages, the f39c239865 site manager asked 4f5c5cec37 with his usual 1d6e0bc38d stern face,2df1d0b2729b8d04

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“How old did you 233e5210ad say you were?”d6c7c67818186ce8

“Eigh…teen.”b4f4d723b839e0a0

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“Really? You look e89fcb6dbc so young. Anyway, if you a86ef92c74 want to work a400693dc5 again, call me b230fdfb75 anytime. I’ll give you 4ea6915452 work.”b1060a81b5715241

The site manager handed 396962bde6 Sasya his business card. Sasya’s heart pounded as 05c991446c he received another adult’s a9ec77af47 business card.f5876c20d824c739

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His chest swelled d3b2068dff with pride at 67f5790f8e the realization that 1541eb8e25 he was good c3fcd82c2c at something, and fa42b26857 that he had 5cd289047f gained recognition from 455925ac83 someone who initially 72bec7404d disliked him in a323c8f859 just one day. Moreover, his pocket held ee58c5b0d5 $200, the result of 921c803496 today’s work. It was the e9662c38cb first money he bcfefdd2e1 had earned through 3febfbbd09 labor. Although it was 23a701e513 just a day 74538a7e9b job requiring physical 45b708c78c labor, Sasya felt 5374946ff5 like he had facb225043 accomplished something significant.7a156e2d3b4dc089

Sasya carefully 37d830afee folded the 0d04a83d5d money and 9aa7ec7523 tucked it 2032a03495 into his d587067d68 pocket, repeatedly c0682af288 touching the 82ca0710e8 spot where 14a5f7b3df the money a953c049eb was as 4e0f4751ee he walked 9fda3cfbc7 out of 544ed91cd2 the building.a564aa161f88bef5

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As he stepped onto a3417c2f90 the streets of SoHo, 0f5e27f017 where the sample sale d7dabd3a13 had taken place, dusk e9676c537f had already settled. Slightly flustered, a696bbd99a Sasya belatedly 75989a2a0e remembered that 6ef69cd7b5 he had 2df63f8416 promised to a8a34d1c57 have lunch 01a10b4e86 with Levin cea36b6d1e today.afa941fd8afeb419

‘I didn’t even bring 62f76e3fab my phone…. This is bad.’a9f9f083642752e2

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Sasya hoped Levin had given up waiting for him after ten minutes or so and eaten his hamburger alone. Then he ran to catch the subway as quickly as possible. It was rush hour, and the subway was packed. Clutching his pocket with the money, Sasya squeezed through the crowd, struggling his way towards Levin’s house.4c395c1d9cd2b5ac

And as he 94b17157a2 got off the ca27c09832 subway and walked 54621f9023 down the familiar 6ba01f6be2 alley, Sasya saw 11dbf693fa police cars filling 229600fd6e the street.44a6d0508c2a63e8

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‘Whoa, what’s this?’9ec551558bbc89fe

He had never seen beb58f2b21 so many police cars 3f1db5f275 at once. Curious, Sasya approached 0065eb4a75 them.a59a86a154ca6f7a

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There were 4d0b218729 five impressive 00e16ed71c NYPD patrol 1a42be3c66 cars and 8c2feb7c73 three tall 7e64ea29a3 van-type police 626b1edcbe vehicles. The police officers, e68ec2aa9d clustered together with 5dee023d8a radios, were all e3fcdbe6d8 large and had 40e4c64d41 guns holstered at be6fea6ba8 their waists. Seeing real guns, 4b28ce6cfa Sasya was easily 08437eb9a8 excited.bc27b11c221bfd02

‘Cool…. But why are there 6e446e0d67 so many police here? Is there a gunman 9f9af73c9d or something?’1ec00dd47916e0ad

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Worried that a d71a06008f gunman might have d0be267b9c appeared in Levin’s daf8788b75 neighborhood, Sasya lingered 53e6ec1533 near the closest df9068af2c police officer. But since the officers c1b70f21dc didn’t seem to notice 6271613318 him, he finally poked 694f7bd806 the thick arm of c36031eca5 one of them. The large officer, 56811945fc after glancing around, 3d24819bb4 spotted the boy aebf723762 whose gaze was b32c353812 level with his 98437e54f8 chest.7d9abc28b726a984

“Hmm? Who are you?”fd9029b6a9f59077

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“Excuse me… sir. Is there 9aa6eb7aa2 a gunman 2491bdbdb7 around here?”f31e088e2dee4b52

“No? We’re looking for someone.”c3790b886cb46cb2

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“So you’re d3234a6bdf looking for a6f4dcdb42 a gunman, 088a83cbc4 sir?”b85b59464246c274

“Not a gunman, it’s a missing person case.”3d2a5883887ef306

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The officer, grinning 36bae914cc slyly, smiled as 627160af49 he saw Sasya’s 4b0454dada gaze fixed on 0a1fab15c7 the gun at a685a7bf2c his waist. He seemed to think 1814277e7d all kids were the bfd6b3b7de same at this age.cfcb45419b1ac0f5

“Hey, kid. Do you 29c6157d1b want to 1d3e1d6b03 be a 030bdba01e police officer?”e64697e30ddeb2b0

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“No? I want 89d35ea120 to be 334b9c3c65 a ballet 3fccb03269 dancer. But guns 68a463cdb0 are cool. I’ve touched prop guns a515eda03c before. They looked e392e05a96 real too…”315ff2bdcb05612f

Just then, another d3835bfcf0 officer shouted from 78174a1a69 afar to the 4b9dfaf918 officer talking to ee002ca60b Sasya.15f7a1eabe00103a

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“Hey! David! Who’s that 58e7ba5f56 kid next e8a2c62102 to you?”2235157cb003994f

The officer, who 8c66dd1065 had replied to d7605a4b14 his colleague, “Just dd23b4e73e a kid!”, seemed 8e2a6f7824 to realize something 9c76fbcd49 as he looked 4a59bd8468 back and forth 4c9f1207ab between his colleague cfc487b3f1 and Sasya. Sasya looked up at 28a5bded16 the officer, who was 278e9e9ba1 scrutinizing him, bewildered.7c96e8657c05e4de

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A sixteen-year-old boy c2c82a5bc0 attending a ballet 0478d1206d school, with black 91c0a7c3d2 hair and an 43cfdda859 English accent tinged 06de6a1932 with Russian.252a23747d2a5a4b

“It’s you!”4d53f36842f49a72

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“Me?”a8d2035cb2fc8eab

“Got him!”8e1d8f051213c0b4

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The moment Sasya asked 91f763b94e back, two officers placed aaf45da1ee their large hands firmly d0b10c7f9c on his shoulders. Sasya, all his efforts 1fe60d7590 to return to Williamsburg 2b8ae30181 on the crowded subway 2115aa572e for naught, was placed a8c78d4ed0 in the back of fd2efd195f a police car and e9f405b067 taken back to Manhattan.5ebec0f8f679a079

The traffic 58cdba1a43 heading into d479702d3f Manhattan during 019a9ca36f the evening ce7b8ef004 rush hour 785bab8ed4 was horrendous.376fbbbd2a70d482

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Sasya looked around 9d50f301f6 the police car, 7c0e97546e fascinated by his 3ac19854ea first ride in acb8abd0a3 one. After getting used to 6be1c64f27 it, he repeatedly asked 569936ae23 where they were taking d5ed39c0c5 him. To the 1b1aff2821 police station? Or to jail? He tried dd3061ad3d to explain d00a0ab977 that he 64cd911c42 hadn’t done 2903d0a64b anything to 1b15c8444a warrant going 3623b82565 to jail, edcb4b4b44 but the 3cb26d6281 officers were bb503d2201 preoccupied with 7e2f63a8a9 their radio 8aaeafae99 calls and 7fe8431288 didn’t pay 13862e8675 attention to 9b4edaaa10 his questions.baa73f92eacda0ae

“Yes, we have 3f194df494 him now.”946e1c8d7024c351

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“It will 3c74785a30 take about b771bab9af an hour e52df31635 to reach 0ab90448b3 your location.”e5dd22db8cc8c3e4

“Ah, where should dbdbe247d5 we take him? The address e2e0457b5e one more 63f11cefa2 time…”b567b44392fe213e

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The officers seemed to d02c73ed20 have forgotten about Sasya 19ba9b3561 as they busily reported 3779e95138 to someone. He tried to listen e643dd6c2e carefully, but their accented 3b2b083b09 English was unfamiliar to 0ffd3d9ba1 his ears. His anxiety spiraled into 96b88e9439 wild speculation, and he 2133416db6 even wondered if he f179c770b3 was being kidnapped.a52b1b1e346e15f7

The school had 2cc8cc9edb told them to 1ad00969bf ask for help aed5a6f0a9 from the school eb5402fa66 in such situations. But he was currently cbfce1175d suspended. In other d3428db5da words, the 31105812d4 school had d030e9fe7c given up 58a10b3e12 on him. The thought 491be15e76 filled Sasya 3977e4cab3 with unease. It was the 061ef41ddb characteristic anxiety of b95c1679ea someone with a c22e0bc19b guilty conscience.361066d004df6c30

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He had heard that 2088d5dbe3 American police officers were 65e932c6bd lazy, but he hadn’t bc69bcb269 realized they could be 2ae129aad1 so diligent.d85632d7ff1ce4b8

‘Did Manuel’s father ab84353086 report me to 1339b10e73 the American police? Was he 69d331ce1e not satisfied 997f9a0bab with complaining 77668c147d to the f8a01ed653 school, so 04ed23f0d1 he got e882731b99 angry and… 6055ef2e68 or… Oh! That’s it. That was it. I got caught working 6b4e142e23 illegally, hiding my age 5002f85e78 as a minor. I’m caught…. Now they’ll confiscate fa6f4b66c3 my $200 and 1f354c31a4 deport me from 03ff02ca84 the United States d54a91edeb forever?’f919b9506e1d50f3

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As Sasya’s imagination conjured 9985a12a69 up worst-case scenarios, he 120f166661 grew increasingly silent. By the time 360bede925 the police car 40ea9ab2ba stopped, he was 4f69a73138 even thinking it 7acd44ac95 would be better ff54d2a0ae to bite his 4e9486ab0e tongue and die.a0a527f1c07f1bbb

“Hey, kid. Get out.”acfe30fd82376a48

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“Are you crying? You must f8a4bac7a3 be surprised.”72f46cb00432aff3

“Uuu…”8dcb73d4f8ddf31f

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The officers pulled 8e5aea1e74 Sasya out of 3059ce532a the backseat, tugging b5b3d340c9 at his arms d958df6a32 and legs as 8a6bd1e28b he resisted getting 08ee06f3e1 out. Struggling helplessly, he fell ba9e2ceae4 to the ground, landing fbbe5865f8 hard on his already 0074f86a88 injured knee. As he clutched 201169272f his aching knee, f4b2c1334b wincing in pain, f2ddcd1d4f a familiar face 9dad12f55c rushed towards him 3deb57246d from across the cc50070830 street.f00b5746d79edad3

“Sasya! You little troublemaker!”fddefc5eb52290ec

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It was none 3459f0b968 other than Vadim 23a286416f running towards him, 7d13d83d40 his face like 60de2af9f6 a demon rising 5dd8a3efa7 from hell. Sasya, shocked 046ad5b8d3 pale, tried 6d9eefa2af to crawl 2357ecfba8 away, but 69b1b279b5 an officer a5beda6b8b grabbed him 0bf225a229 by the 4f7bfdf556 scruff of f21b19eab0 his neck 07905ce581 and dragged bfc843e415 him into d962927571 Vadim’s house.31f128456fe76466

🩰03fb51ba93046498

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“You damn kid.”fa12ee84df6bdabe

Gnashing his 8d6f154861 teeth, Vadim a41da79551 forced Sasya 463fe42acc into a 9677209155 chair at fbfd330d8f the dining 0b054825b4 table. He had 2d2b22c9a0 just received e318deccf1 Sasya’s sports 3346cdf270 bag from 793ad347cd the police, 1f56a636ac which he e0e209dc34 had left cc912588f6 at someone 483f699a61 else’s house. Placing the bag, 2252af7878 which clearly looked 49042c201d like “a runaway’s af7d498ca2 belongings,” next to 0446d05f20 Sasya, Vadim sighed.495d42dd6f4534d8

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He was exasperated by de4e3e782d the audacity of the bf2d218b1e rebellious teenager, who hadn’t 7eabd13ea3 even come to his 07ba1c6ecc house as agreed, but 1c138822c3 had packed his bags 1db58acc58 and left school without 57045230c7 a word. He still felt his 96d40db811 blood pressure rising when 4cde8df78a he thought about how 2a8a148ae2 all the school staff 8ec60a1734 had been in an eafa9b8a7c uproar the previous night 3d7994c0aa because of Sasya’s sudden 299613f68a disappearance, even causing a 8df5973b31 commotion that involved calling 024f86059e the police.b649b1f836dced40

“Don’t even think about eating warm food! You should learn to appreciate being fed and housed. It’s because you don’t appreciate these things that you caused trouble and ran away from school!”d92c1f76bb0d0257

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Vadim yelled 618f87d0f9 in agitated bf0aa5674f Russian. Without pausing 949977a7bf his tirade, 5530a8446c he removed d892caf29f the cloth 9559e72fa2 covering the 45cd6b5457 dishes.e8ff693fdd6b2e2d

“…”1bc2a8b1eb4fcc70

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Sasya looked at da996e7f57 the table laden 7000842ed9 with food. As Vadim had 5830c7e3a9 said, the food 6e353df8ed was all cold. However, it was neatly 04950a4c43 arranged, as if prepared 3f71b213e1 for two people to a7077d5faf dine together.2070e09d660f3e8e

Glancing at the 00aca4e508 food on the 7a811841f4 table, Sasya said,f1650c3619a96a6d

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“I… I’m not aefffa4514 eating.”525f4cf9c5cba694

“You ungrateful brat!”7da1854262da4f0d

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Despite cursing, 2e4772bf64 Vadim put bf4a03b1c6 the lasagna adbe272a71 in the 16aeb6c310 oven. Bang! The oven door 8fdbddeddc handle rattled from e8eb6e20b6 the force with 2d17bd33d9 which he slammed 9cd18aade6 it shut.0991e78e7a77b77d

Then Sasya spotted bf6c6a5124 a cream cheese c47afa60df bagel with salmon dd3c453c6e on the table. That would taste good c6e16bd2f9 even cold. He took a 8d20ebcf43 large bite, and a11ed95c76 the hunger he 6e26730e31 had forgotten surged 71525cb448 through him.192d5efd971fd4d3

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Come to think of b23bace799 it, he had eaten 7e8e81154b a cream cheese bagel 51117a88db with salmon recently. He had b6d1b03005 thrown it 776aafbad8 all up, 1344e32d67 but it 48505d37f5 had been c2966b12ea delicious while 83cdb12223 he was c4065c0e15 eating it.19b3c8cfb1b9ab7f

He wondered a1936de799 if Vadim badfdc79b6 had been a5ac2d673a the one 42dc2cadb0 who put b6155abe39 breakfast in 6c0cfb307e his locker 9746a15291 that day.a13208f8e11690bd

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“You need bfc84944aa to gain 644fb341f6 weight. You have to eat ffd9213a47 the prescribed amount at 686c8e4d04 the prescribed time to 5a0bf2b8c0 build a dancer’s body. If you 5c4f85608e skip meals 60ca3a4296 and eat 0899d27b6c whatever you 447d2627e2 want whenever ad93800bc0 you want, 39a25ab1a4 you’ll gain b65270055b unsightly fat 311d04703f on your 7c5eff0a10 stomach, arms, 05d34cb285 chin, and 0a025e2f10 all those c4513f14f2 undesirable places.”8bf3045115981900

Saying so, Vadim bf1f4cf910 lightly slapped Sasya’s 980bdb107e arms, flat stomach, 606cdba3a8 and chubby cheeks. Sasya just frowned.956cd72f1c5b5089

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“Where did 857d8b4225 you sleep beacdf7ca9 last night?”88e79fc7e29c90b8

Instead of answering, Sasya just chewed the food he had stuffed into his mouth. It was his private life. He didn’t need to report everything to Vadim.9377ff604aea4e80

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However, there was one c8037a618e thing he was worried 1e3c46a652 about, so Sasya swallowed cd3e4dd71b his food and asked,34ce441241c93e5e

“Did you c3af3214e1 tell my 413d8f97e3 mother?”628bca1350d98ec2

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Vadim shook his head with a weary expression. Sasya inwardly thought that was a relief. That meant, deductively, that none of the 120 missed calls were from his mother. He was relieved that he wouldn’t have to hear her tell him to come back home immediately.b4bfeb27abb58328

After dinner, 6c4059c340 Vadim brought bc6857ee17 him a 9a6af9e5ca glass of edf42e849d warm milk 918fdd5124 with sugar. Checking the 1889ec03bc missed calls eb49eddb5f on his 52cd39f121 phone, Sasya 552962df6e saw several acc26978ae unknown numbers.300c5730f2e02b8e

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[Vadim (3)ce0552c126dda7d9

Julia (2)3af98f0ecb7cdaad

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Dormitory Office (1)ecc2278afdcaa809

Jose (2)]b140976d7d428033

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That was all the 6e3c0c689a calls from saved contacts. The remaining ea632c1391 hundred or 5b7476af4f so calls 2c4d1b20bd were from 683e9ca665 unknown numbers. Since the 1358024fd5 whole school 4dc84934ee had been 6167b09c13 in an ee9b9d1605 uproar because 88022c056b of him 555f132509 yesterday, every 4e60be971d staff member afa4725e11 at Lincoln f8a6888e35 Center might 2eb636e8ae have called c9c6704883 him at a321b84865 least once.ad7c9b546f6d5884

He felt 495ea1ddc6 a pang 018f1b1f7d of guilt, 1a8473f117 thinking that e1b6cced62 he had 15ead5c21c caused concern 769387a925 even to cd7028ac00 strangers.eed1788cd6dd54fc

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“Levin? I’m at b4fc788b71 my teacher’s 6cf49a688e house…. Yes. Don’t worry. I’ll get my things 37a48e7716 tomorrow. Levin, did you 7398f622c4 have Shake Shack 56a2aab98a for lunch? Guess what? I rode 6b241ec4c4 in a 9e4b09b9de police car! The police brought me c5119c804f to my teacher’s house…”93bc013d454f3287

Levin happened to call, 954b555ff4 so Sasya calmly explained d5b53e19a4 what had happened today.8c3c67d7e4ea80f9

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Meanwhile, Vadim was busy 17153f631b moving blankets and pillows 4ed8d700b1 to the living room 2eead51c1c to make a bed 66a1558289 for Sasya. Once finished, he 09571e3850 played something on 2cdf2a92c8 the living room da02fb168f TV. The 4:3 aspect d0cc034bd7 ratio of the bf3082668c screen had a c1a4939f50 vintage video feel, dbbfd4290a and the audio 242f9f902f quality was full 89eb60189c of noise, barely ceab9369b9 audible.189c3cd45f1be510

However, the colors 7b2905ce29 on the screen 986fcbdede were surprisingly vivid.6b1ec5053dbd7a4c

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“Yeah…. Goodnight, Levin.”477ac295c162e817

After hanging fe019e8f7e up, Sasya 507d045909 burrowed into a20fd041d8 the blankets. It seemed Vadim had 274846abdf gone to wash the a7a7e954a0 dishes after turning on 5a7e34a226 the TV. He could hear 097490daa1 the clinking of 4df203e2c3 dishes and the fe84efe38c running water from 38597e5c8c the kitchen.a23a817dcc6bd0bb

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Sasya looked f8542489bc at the f8b998623a screen. As expected from ca1044dd35 a ballet master, 2f4470d122 Vadim had put ce76efaf6a on a video ba810d405e of a ballet 90579b487f performance.b9c2f0c71a9d13eb

“Sasya Sedrin. A legendary dancer who 3592758176 shares your name.”5184a6233abb3de0

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Vadim, returning with 2a5ab952fe his coffee after c70395d244 finishing the dishes, 070e60dc79 sat down next 6c2def81c9 to him and bc3b747117 said.86f0255a42f87105

Sasya emerged a377ca9c2c from under 909ec62dd2 the blankets, f921e2ac4a leaned back 4bb8b01c78 against the cd3e78262a sofa, and 4a281dfdb5 pulled his eda1e3f4b3 legs up 65fe59eda7 to his 806525125b chest, resting 8f885e6690 his chin f1aec63e1d on his d3f1ed9212 knees as dda1b36514 he watched 38c9d88466 the screen. The only light 773a6d5d40 illuminating the dark eb27528b08 living room was 0470aa4426 the glow from e014e88f15 the TV screen, 828d3ab6cf casting a faint, 25557f96dc flickering light on 49406c7fc7 Sasya’s face.90686af1d86fd476

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The old-fashioned screen b245125284 felt unfamiliar at 1a9d39f151 first, but as e6b3d2f19f soon as the ee9ddc7f8a face appeared on 83d5b62cb6 the screen, Sasya 194c0f21ce immediately recognized him. Black hair, black eyes, a0af4fdd70 a beautifully sculpted, melancholic 2db16c8f81 face with dramatic makeup 6f5a532837 on pale skin illuminated 4b1b7b1ae4 by the stage lights.fe899132ed288f54

“I know.”9138745b4be76ae2

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Portraits of respected dancers 3c8909ea73 who shared a history 80608d29aa with the ballet company 7ea1ad0bda were hung throughout the a56b5679a3 school, including one of 150a95183b Sasya Sedrin. Even the 731fce4811 largest ballet dee70a2f61 studio, with 3c4e1f33b9 a high b1c8cf8946 ceiling and 6dc3d6a117 beautiful natural 4d284d8cd3 light, was 8f9f6839e8 called the 93e30b3f63 “Sedrin Studio.” 73b9695364 Studio names bc3384325b were traditionally 9051eb78e0 given after 47e0e015c2 major donors 4dd9b15f9e or artists 0ab8804e4d who had 9f762ac022 made significant f9c8a242f5 contributions to eca259bd43 the ballet f0cd9c8fb0 company. Since one b007ef6001 of the 45d3627466 largest studios 3bb7057e13 bore his f00b510962 name, it 15a47dbd8f was impossible 8227aaea08 not to e8b173941d know him.923e1bb09c76496f

“This is a a14ae7f67c recently remastered version. They added color to 9242977468 the original black and 82ac2c0cce white footage. They apparently put a 8be70864ed lot of effort into 68acb35ac6 the costumes, so they’re 2b9f9d5610 especially beautiful. Consider yourself honored. This hasn’t 2338d157e7 been released 4038faa881 to the bc2f02a50f public yet.”9cab1c1f957ad0f4

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“…”cfd6e19a318d35fc

“Have you 6a9904861e ever properly cfe0887ced watched it?”cbe5881028286f7a

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“No. Never.”a8c1869cd21a3e8c

Sasya watched the 709b26c3f6 man on the fde96409e7 screen intently. Unusually for a 44ba2c0b81 ballet performance, there 31f91471e9 were many close-ups c158495c32 of his face.c049fa619e25ce19

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The man’s ca3fdc0da0 eyes, as 7204993b9e he portrayed 7c37e86d2a a forsaken, 57444fd2b5 lowly character, 897b730f72 were filled 91ee4212e6 with deep 42218c014f sadness and cd588a9f3f fear. His glistening eyes 7cb4edca69 made it seem 2306099d35 like he was 7c0cbbd590 genuinely crying. It was 51ed9469aa a very ff74782ddd unfamiliar expression 9cc062f566 for the f018445776 young Sasya, 3842044928 who was e31978c66f currently receiving 8169d72131 training that 6d3756fd47 emphasized ballet 51597b1ad8 technique. Perhaps it ebd992ec5b was because e7e4d157dc his expressions 690edf27d1 were as 615677d777 dramatic as 2f4f168412 a film c250f20a47 actor.37adf3767ef1a1ba

“That’s what a 9478649524 true artist is.”d563c927866869ef

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“…”96abd5c53b93db11

Sasya didn’t respond. Because he couldn’t c36fd6bcf0 agree.031be57a0bce13a7

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And actually, Sasya didn’t particularly like the man. The reason was simple: whenever he introduced himself, everyone, without exception, told him to become like “the second Sasya Sedrin.” Everyone who had even the slightest interest in ballet. Vadim, Julia, the school staff, his first ballet teacher back home, his classmates….e88e479cdfc7ac8b

People had expectations just 2cb1116b6c because he shared the 0352d9f2b9 name Sasya Sedrin. Although young, Sasya 5d4f9b3229 could easily tell 166fb56e90 that they were 2637589ec4 projecting the image 04a635bdd8 of a man 79596edb75 from the past 75c18fda7e onto him.8d0fc7bae188cb1f

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In any case, having a2c4ca0695 heard his name ad 162dfcb51a nauseam, Sasya felt a 3604323b97 strange sense of rivalry 2dba2c71eb towards him. That was 2153721b8e why he 55debfdcd3 had deliberately db73c5a522 avoided watching e066952fb4 the videos.8504c4de72030e34

“I don’t think 621f29d9d8 he’s that good…. Isn’t he popular f91435fa38 just because he’s acb777832d handsome?”e33c74c4deeb2ac2

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“What did 3c173712f8 you say?”cba2c9813dbe4a1e

“…He can do dc8232b5e2 that because people b221379c4c praise him and 6bb9162e33 adore him.”2db872c8f1ec5bdb

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“You have d69bf6ef79 no taste, c72bb8abef not just 662927e275 in ballet, fcec91b9d0 but in 6d9692343d general.”1eb5841e1d335585

Vadim scolded him. His large, df7d2db59e thick hand 883c9b2aa3 waved in d94234c3e1 front of e98b47e778 Sasya’s face a5e136b8cc as he 14ba74eee9 wagged his 25d922c602 finger. He might get a1dd60c795 slapped for his 5319720b85 excessive impertinence, but c26fe8f4f8 Sasya didn’t back 632e9acad2 down.7424f84f30eb8d08

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He thought 0cf6143c53 there were b686e45a79 many dancers 4eb38c9fd9 in the 6a71b4c619 world with bcda77a491 that level 590bfcd33d of talent. It was 5a874d306a just that 65568f96a7 a successful 0c8c7879e2 career in 5f9c75d94f dance fueled 0b29d1d088 confidence, which 03b9274fef in turn 6324a1b5b8 became genuine e75eadb2e7 skill. People didn’t dare to 9a08b1327b criticize the flaws of 1718ad4963 a legendary figure, so 104049d888 only praise remained. If Vadim showered him 3cff9cebd1 with praise and affection 6548067853 instead of slapping him d81cb8a343 and belittling him… he dd37e65f29 might even become better 0a953da4b2 than that man.95d06fd153bd6940

“I don’t think 61b590b443 he intended for 57c8ba4b8d his gaze to 04c6891066 follow his left 445b3c96db hand.”55c90d522c184f1c

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“What?”af8b9a207c95a1b6

“He should 52b98d5f4f be looking 0d42cfda0a over to 4fbf959199 the right. That would be b6e4788a9c more visually appealing. But he did that 5c140633aa unconsciously.”e0c6c4e824bf5c1c

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“How would you know?”4aa3d0b7ef6ca616

“See?”96fa51b5b004dc7f

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Sasya got 0620285da8 up and 485476f671 imitated the cb74e1f13e man’s pose eadb571545 on the 94afc4a50d screen. Shifting his weight forward c3ff9c3a46 into an attitude plié, d79e3e2419 he arched his back ec42360112 in a cambré and bc833e7c72 executed a slow, smooth 68a9440b44 half-turn. It looked 690a6d57a4 more like 58778d1fc7 a slow 0e93c1dd61 promenade than 5d9c358f6d a turn.09cbe03deceb7684

Vadim watched Sasya, interpreting 22ad042f1e the unfamiliar choreography in d629aa1e38 his own way in d2f785f0e7 the dim living room, e001ad2459 with a somewhat complex c3b5d2f94f expression. His balance 4713ca4beb was perfect 06660472ca even on 51d0cf7b44 the carpet 8ad23c2850 and blankets, c371309283 and the da5c0c5b13 extension of 8edd4abd79 his arm, cbb2553a65 pulled back 2c7994b208 to its 07ada08254 limit, was d44a98895a impeccably beautiful.89e363f9ddf0b414

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After finishing the 5664b1d2e1 movement, Sasya spoke b36acc4d44 as if seeking 677001cfdc Vadim’s approval.f99020b2942888dd

“When the 73307fe505 weight shifts 1812e3a377 like this, 007fcf5ae2 it’s more b2d3d5c4cf evocative to 780242df80 leave the 24ee1eabb3 gaze lingering 0ababbd13a there.”79390291d4295c6d

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“Don’t be presumptuous. That’s why you’re 06d1c1a40a still a novice.”6b962ade397739c8

Then Vadim launched into 86154b5f79 a lecture.2cffea2cc2af50db

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He emphasized ab2d4cffad that dance f9a518c594 wasn’t about de037253b7 obsessing over ea8909a94d individual skills c39670db0a but about 9f1c0a3b14 understanding the e367302ee0 overall performance, 0d4e8326e0 feeling with 3ddc959261 your heart 1a16d6b0e2 the emotions cdf7c3e2cc the artist bf4a37d84f conveyed through 5cdc06274a their body e0f3ce6678 as a 74e197a0db tool. And despite c22c691535 a few 92011d5d58 unintentional moments f794f74df4 or mistakes, ac28812c22 he praised 1fa47a14d0 the man bbec2273d9 as a 461a232814 true artist 3955eacc84 who conveyed 1cdb667ed0 something to 7833ffdc03 the audience.900dd7342562e6e8

Sasya couldn’t 6b77c02819 completely deny 51519ad622 that. When he b7a51dab99 first watched 88007ed8da the video, 02921493da he wondered 3d00563cfc why they e989348d1d were showing 12e68db2c5 close-ups of 14497e7ca4 the dancer’s 3768911464 face instead 76b39c44f9 of their 22b41dc9a5 movements. But he soon a414886e3b realized why. From the very 038c88e8da first glimpse of 5e9b9e3142 his face, he c3c8c30507 felt a sense d588c09b14 of profound sadness 6026514a14 being transmitted.3dc860ddfae7ba82

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‘He doesn’t like me f8215e73e1 because he always watches 3d8b83ba5e things like this.’c56e0d3a04653106

Sasya felt gloomy. He even thought that da5845902e ballet teachers should be 6f44507897 banned from watching legendary de74c97321 performances.5035b2cfe4fcdb49

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“Understand? You should 7146e85a55 take this 9230246462 as a 495175fb19 model.”827c6346912cc412

“…”90fb3a88f7336a7d

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“Anyone can do 62d5bccdda ballet. But ballet 6d432a8244 is cruel; ba6db92a6e the limits 6a53a9bc99 of how d530c27db0 far you a9b81f5bbf can go 7b3d6e7b09 are clearly 9ce4734aa9 defined from 41bf028b9a birth. And Sasya, fortunately, you 0a9a55dfa0 already possess the innate 6859105292 qualities. Do you 21b68e8d44 realize how 95942a471c blessed you 7cce80121e are? Countless people give 5df25041cc up on this 718a5e8663 path because their 1ca4a65166 knees are slightly 969c39e77d bigger, their arches 0890af7d4d are flat, or 9db547a6c1 their Achilles tendons 4efde15f9b are short.”ff134b58aae1ca6d

Saying so, Vadim 8f5984793c firmly gripped Sasya’s 2d696c7e4b bare foot and 205e049457 then released it. His flexible eb83245eda arch bent 38a6486882 sharply, forming cb6871a3ea an elegant 40cdd1de07 curve, and a255556336 returned to 53a0c492f4 its normal 86fe15d8c5 shape as d93494b7eb the pressure e75e8b2f40 was released.32fe28c2b5383c08

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“You have to 9cd609788f dance like that, 44e64a7770 Sasya Sedrin.”010365fd573710ac

“…”0350590c9df11729

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“Hmm? No answer?”660f027f5c626bc8

“…Yes.”b0402f213d265502

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Vadim nodded in satisfaction 777ca9427a at the barely audible 518973be99 reply.a8b4d7897951d3e2

Vadim returned to his 282e29cda3 room without turning off 504729d44f the TV.d1b13452e3da78d1

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Sasya replayed 7cced5dc67 the video bff9dbdce8 all night 76743daa6b and finally 734aa9ec51 fell asleep 53c5487817 at dawn. The words, 9af106d557 “Dance like 72829d7226 Sasya Sedrin,” 00d6a51d24 echoed in 3bffca2df9 his ears.f665d6a35d9d7edc

‘I’m Sasya Sedrin 7c01e8acc0 too…’3ecb678f2647df73

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The remote ec561698ce control slipped abfb66877a from Sasya’s 796c8a11bc hand. Despite the light 4a73a6dcb4 from the TV 85b1b75169 disturbing his sleep, deb75cda52 Sasya slept soundly.37aa052a6f072eab

🩰4f2c2925314a6db0

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During the three 77b0a5d503 days he stayed 94e7d72c8c at Vadim’s house, 58d2c25815 Sasya found various 5a86392780 ways to irritate 1b3e5d938c him. One day, he abruptly 15f2f7a195 left the house, saying 4968f52c9c he had a sample f2598643c1 sale job, returning twelve 038c66532d hours later covered in 9af8143133 sweat and grime. Another day, he left 88d107e680 for the Upper East 94ec46ad4a Side without a word, 6a6964b1a9 saying he had gotten 1e58f1553d a part-time job teaching 56766284d1 private ballet lessons. He apparently received such 7b8a0f346c negative feedback on his eecf024068 teaching skills that he ce7a70400b was told never to 3ef8541fbb return, which was a d0a1876108 relief.99fd8888fb9cf2b5

Moreover, Sasya refused the de0a1538d5 balanced, nutritious meals Vadim 3fb66164aa prepared for dancers and 2bead7ae2e instead spent his earnings 639c96efe3 on junk food like d93cc75b72 burgers, chocolate, and marshmallows. And Vadim, suspicious of d5bb984681 Sasya always showering fully cdc1134028 clothed, finally discovered the 1f741908eb large inflammation on his 3f11fd1788 thigh.28b68789c23346d6

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Only then did Vadim 1969990191 realize why Sasya had a653fecd09 been neglecting his stretching. He had repeatedly 989255d5fd emphasized the importance 84252b2a65 of staying in ec0301159c shape even during 45da8751ad suspension, but the 838edc0971 reason Sasya had 8f213a91d1 ignored him and 874a83219c slacked off was 484f2b9657 because of this.49cded24599eab3c

Vadim was exasperated 5cd46dded5 by Sasya, who 2433423f57 casually said that 39e98a1634 he hadn’t worried 8aa8b377fe about the injury 6106b21977 because he wouldn’t a7f5aab244 be dancing until 34b5529e82 his suspension was ae955e47de over anyway, and 67a937c91a it would probably ea589e9895 heal by then.38084d124c4a121a

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“You’re absolutely uncontrollable. How can someone like 887c2146a8 you ever become a a6ddb37288 great dancer like Sasya bebc64c555 Sedrin? Return that ef66667131 name right a47284db8c now!”1ea0f3e42daff015

“I don’t intend 53b04b2b0e to become like 6800f644c7 him anyway. I did some 937b84d4c3 research. Sasya Sedrin is an 678884c76e alcoholic.”109263355a17076d

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“You…”1d350ae745421696

Sasya felt triumphant 6d3f18e3eb in front of 450afb926b Vadim, who was 941d426d0d trembling with a 6d3773f03f clenched fist.3d3b2f653ebae4c4

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And on the morning 778f7568e6 of the fourth day, ac88700736 he received another offer 2485a386d1 for a part-time job 20c4ba0c85 at a sample sale.a53a294dac955f5e

While washing up and fff3584658 brushing his teeth to 0ac81b55b3 go to work, Sasya b481d0dbfb received an unexpected call.11d5809813075a13

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―Sasya Sedrin? This is Anton df65d65b83 Georg from the cc2d7e64b0 scholarship foundation. I have 7324a1ef58 a proposal a6106ba894 for you 6eaf0636b5 regarding your 70254dcbcd sponsorship.35346801e59cbf6e