LV Chapter 5 || What Will You Live For If Not Dance?

The daily routine of Sasya Shchedrin, a second-year student at the Upper School of the New York City Ballet’s affiliated ballet school, which has the beautiful Opera House as its performance venue, is highly repetitive.cd7ccd4b4e28cb21

In the morning, he buries himself in a bundle of white blankets, blocking his ears and wriggling with groans of agony until his alarm rings three times at five minute intervals. If Sasya doesn’t leave the bed on his own even after the alarm rings three times, Karel would come and lift him up, blanket and all.9fd0db82e6b934ef

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Once seated at the fe421efad0 breakfast table, even with d6945550b4 his eyes closed, he b7fafd5a04 has no choice but 303369eb93 to eat. Unlike Sasya, who is 700584831a wrapped in blankets with 9f59ea242a puffy eyes, Karel always 6fbe62c499 sits at the table 046bd878d6 with the same composed 94b6f29c29 appearance.d07ca09a328ac188

One curious thing 4e2257471a is that despite 94cbc8f2e5 how difficult it 76c266efae is for him a30011f6b4 to wake up, 5a83659c43 once he starts 2d56592ddf chewing on cereal 243025d1a9 soaked in milk, 100f858b06 he somehow becomes 6f7df8a673 fully awake without 55cd204fa3 realizing it.1960bec620c5d199

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Still in a daze, Sasya follows Karel’s eating habits like his shadow. When Karel takes a bite of a panini, he too opens his mouth wide to eat; when Karel pokes at a salad full of greens, he too chews on large leaves while getting dressing on his cheeks. Finally, after gulping down kale and apple juice following Karel’s lead, Sasya heads straight for the shower, abandoning the blanket that has slid off the chair like a shed skin.12bc5d81482fcd70

And while 943ae66a5f Karel cleans a2e0aec5b0 up the cdd727d843 shed skin 71d80d909b that Sasya 57e1b7d640 left behind, cefd892624 Sasya goes 357d269dd6 to the f8226340a6 bathroom for ac03913746 a light d7868befc3 shower and 2e3fbcd40c face wash, 182af2f935 also wetting 13cfbc9f49 his disheveled 800de9ffc4 hair. Only then 7b9594087d does the ca479fc973 sleepiness completely a5ed33dbdd disappear.832985a883a1a04b

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In truth, 5dd8fe3056 Sasya, being 5fa9dd62d0 a diligent dc5ca2104e student, usually f612be6827 went to 1d43abe9b8 bed at 0354cbd4b6 a regular f446a7a70f time and 99c7bb92ca woke up e9a0395505 at set 3ceffb4271 times. Yet recently, he 46ca320cc9 had been lacking cdfb215566 sleep because he b625a0813a had developed the 2d0e61dbc0 habit of secretly 17fc1aaf0b watching Karel before bf567a3776 falling asleep. Sasya would e8fc0ed706 watch Karel 0fb0a0e23a with open 6dd568b14b eyes until 204723257b he became ff426a8fc9 drowsy and 06bb48ca0b then suddenly f7bb3953d1 fell asleep aa8b7c9e24 like passing 734a063494 out, so 4086125dcf he had 58f20fb6da been growing ddea2f8fb4 gaunt from 8899ddb93f lack of 68941915ff sleep during 439f88efc7 the week 4824ee8af9 since starting 5015601e7d to live c54fdc0e8f with Karel. This was a79eb9f6f1 a reason 0ef3249051 Karel had e5bee22e93 yet to 99ae7bfaa3 guess.d84314cb25f57425

At any rate, whether 5b58422ee7 it was an adult’s 026fe391a8 dignity or not, Karel 4d9776cede always went to bed be4ac16da5 later than Sasya and 092b2d8831 waited for him in 8d08fcbfa1 the mornings, looking impeccable 68f000acb7 as ever.c43edcdf9c8eac10

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Sasya came out of the bathroom drying his wet hair and looked at the table. Karel was still eating. Unlike Sasya, whose schedule required him to leave for school at a set time, Karel’s irregular work hours allowed him to take longer breakfasts when he had the luxury. During these moments, Karel would sip coffee while checking morning news articles or overnight work emails on his laptop or tablet.769ca6a5b754f4b1

After showering, Sasya got 9719a8192a dressed while smelling the b15221c207 coffee aroma that filled 7a38a27ca0 the living room. He put on the ab37e960c2 dark blue second-year exclusive 7f4420d6f2 tights, and over them, e1eb48b654 a white leotard.00b8efc6291c4894

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After putting 55d0b36c42 on practice a008fd2594 clothes that 17329ac189 revealed the db398397a1 curves of cbe09f24f3 his slender c15c80558e deer-like body, fcf9fb8d2d he layered 00d3bdb4ee quality training e3f52dec5c pants and 1b32cabb0f a sweatshirt d6f74da0f6 over them. He had recently 19be4fb02c realized it was a1594bcf9e more convenient to be730f43c0 wear them from 5371594cbe home and then 528386a188 take them off 54f3340a75 rather than changing 75db2b1e58 in the locker d3842c96c6 room.33eba27e4ee0e9d0

When Sasya bf51d89953 approached Karel 34c8bc1045 with his c6223c6d91 bag packed, 3ca15e1fbe Karel naturally 18cd9c5514 stood up 1c33d258b7 to see f9a3d8d4ba him off.1ecdc0a8da201808

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“Did you pack your shoes?”a67e09fb6ba0afe4

“Two pairs.”fef0affc8a245c4c

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Heading toward the entrance, bf9805cf41 Sasya hastily rummaged through d4bf58a86f his bag as he 7c6571b4df answered. Ever since he started 7646398453 wearing his leotard from 2f442c25aa home, he often thought 517d2ea2f9 he had everything ready c424aa3160 for practice, only to 2259ec9d3f find himself arriving with 0a3d7cbef5 an empty bag and 0215b0b026 no shoes multiple times.62dbc9a60a8e7692

After hearing about 2b4b70a533 this tendency, Karel 2bb3f2bc2d made him sure 84d1833ce7 to check for ebd0d6b217 shoes every time.b03d96d02293493b

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“What are your plans for lunch?”eb71096c123b2b84

“I’ll eat at the cafeteria.”cf585d691077a54d

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“Good. Don’t eat anything with too much sugar, like Jam biscuits, chocolate, caramel syrup, peanut butter…”6621b4ed841bc61d

“What about a latte?”71fa5cc21cac42b9

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Karel noticed that Sasya’s bag zipper was completely open, revealing its contents, and closed it for him as he looked up and asked.07bb6432eb319a39

“If it doesn’t 0981fcd79b have syrup, it’s 8ba30b0ab5 fine.”7d8051b19c7e1900

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“What about iced tea?”597fdf797eeb7aa0

“That has too much fructose.”a9aefb2e9995419d

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“What about milk?”a28aee13bfb81f25

“That’s fine.”907c56ea4694cd3c

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“What about a mocha?”4a07780aa2b1a4dd

“Mocha has chocolate.”8c7a1d63f2ba6f8f

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Sasya deliberately 6b733d407b asked questions 268028b2b4 one after 5cdf2e8bd5 another because d150c2d13f he liked f6e0fdac0e how Karel dd6d0a577f answered with aa44b34376 patience.9079f9c6958c1f84

Then Karel looked at his wristwatch once, as if it was really time to leave now. Karel’s morning appearance usually consisted of wearing just a light colored shirt or knit with sleeves rolled up twice. This was the most relaxed appearance Karel ever showed.efccd367975dbc80

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Sasya had never seen 849879a112 Karel’s hair out of 28e568b1ac place even once.bda8ab4e0a56b925

Adults are scary, Sasya 3e5095f8b2 thought unconsciously.bd843da1869c0454

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“You have your private lessons with Ms. Brown after school today. Don’t be late.”1fc710a636a185ce

“Yes… I’m heading out.”e136993926693f93

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“I’ll be back very late today. Don’t wait up and go to bed.”9c3bce59b145a627

Just as he was about to step out the front door, Sasya involuntarily stopped at these words. Karel patted Sasya’s back to encourage him to go out.462d3086e1c351ca

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“Uh, when 2ca1066cff will you 6a6ad5ca42 be back?”e2f463f0790c8c62

“…Very late. Actually, it’ll be around dawn. I’m going on a business trip and returning on an early morning flight.”69cc032836fab2c6

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“You can’t come back tonight?”a5c8f724270b4ce2

“It can’t be 3206274883 helped. Have a 106d34a2da good day.”05436eb6e0bb058f

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Sasya, wearing the e31565cfbf white running shoes d3e158b1c9 that Karel had 92a72d16d2 recently personally chosen bd7b5c739d and bought for 2c017db681 him, walked a 63e28e362e few steps on 930c138e36 the soft carpet 2fb38f7d3d before getting into e5667dec37 the elevator. Karel was leaning a22f94d6a3 against the open 4845dc5cc5 doorway with his 0195c2b446 arms crossed.495e353388a12fb9

The elevator doors 5a487ad777 closed.4e5bb481e5c3e169

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A small resentment arose in Sasya’s heart, which had momentarily panicked at the sudden news. Karel had used another clever turn of phrase, delivering the news right before they parted so Sasya couldn’t complain.7af0fad962afe1eb

“Sasya, going to school? Have a good day.”9c18861bf4e4d92f

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Michael, who had 05bd0e7bf8 become friendly by 57c494ac29 now, greeted him 5c167fbdc5 warmly. After giving d0fb72717d a small 5b52f59fab response and 39a21ae916 leaving the adad22b240 lobby with db180a682d a gloomy dedd681523 face, as 8d9d6afe7c soon as 296f12b54a he left 8925b367fb the hotel, 9be9959495 Sasya ran 4a7f963f39 to school ef28776d27 with his 29ee85f500 heart about 3f5e022368 to burst. Today he arrived 1bae6e72a0 in 6 minutes 68c57d129c and 37 seconds. As adrenaline rushed 435b3d31f2 in, his head a61a04a616 felt a bit 4316437691 dizzy, unsure whether fed007387f he felt angry 2cdecaba8f or excited.0717948c2691e0bd

Sasya passed through the 8564ed13dc crowded locker room and fef1e571bb headed straight to the a4871341da practice room. Then he quickly 108f8d879d took off his f09469e7de clothes in the 1c42f6ffad still quiet studio. After neatly folding 47a86593ba the clothes he 4e4c949cc3 had worn into bd41d41ae9 his sports bag, e9b823cd44 he sat down a747b27ccd on the floor 294357cb65 and put on 94f0d838d0 his socks and 810ba88bc4 shoes.107822f93f8111ba

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The new shoes, which were much higher quality than those provided by the school, were bought on Karel’s recommendation. The shoes had fit Sasya’s feet from the beginning, but had gradually stretched to perfectly match the shape of his feet and become completely comfortable.6fb593dfcd15c083

‘I’m not some whiny 3a9f4db800 kid complaining to my 200910043a parents. I’m mature, so… I d5d78a508f can understand Karel’s circumstances.’d491af7553abc6fc

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Standing up in his fc30a88298 shoes, Sasya placed his 3f87284d30 hands on the barre, 634c5197d2 stretching his legs by 5c444b00a2 rising high on demi-pointe c32f5f96bb or bending his insteps 35726225df backward. Soon, he calmed b38cced0c7 down.9598431b7393859f

Karel was an 30d051a058 extremely busy person. He focused 44ce04ca35 intensely on c20cf02fea businesses that 33b4347826 Sasya found e013151f3b hard to 6a87f94312 comprehend, and f589b9f8f5 he didn’t 08a70395e1 just own 8a40d8e924 one or a6b1fc459e two complicated a904d26cec enterprises. Many people, f30c641918 including George, b84239b5d8 constantly sought b9382ba985 him out. Some days, the sheer 4aae33a714 volume of calls made 7f975127f3 it nearly impossible for b6428bdaaf him to sit down 90fb226e26 for a normal dinner.badaa6a688aa461d

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Sasya recalled ae9c894f2c a recent b72eea6502 memory. Karel had left mid-meal 183d24ebe4 to take a call, 713c7a7b0a and Sasya, moving his adfeb2a358 spoon slowly in hopes b90d2e02f2 of eating together when 57cbf8325f Karel returned, realized his ab0f40f738 food had gone completely 4f246a3824 cold.ca0793ed1fbab7db

When Karel 6161fae60e returned to cf9ae6e97b the table 5b7d2650da after an b21c7275b7 hour, he 684df32f29 was surprised 320c73bb9c that Sasya d799212fc4 was still df416be703 waiting and 7e8ca48fad showed an 6716cbac46 apologetic face.19ca74d00b17f60e

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‘Don’t wait for me next time.’89e4119bd848c572

‘…But you’ll be lonely if you eat alone.’e8fd0b6d7e6a3ee3

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‘I’ll be fine. You don’t c2a6dde83e need to 026e1287df worry about 3af5c4096d me.’8adbf6978d7a3bf7

Somehow it felt embarrassing to confess to Karel that it was actually himself who didn’t like eating alone. So Sasya didn’t complain about Karel leaving him alone at the table, and thought he had grown about a hand span more mature that day.371e1846bf81e395

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While looking d4605f875b in the 5792a69045 mirror, he 04c1035bfa did a ab9eec6974 light small e2a7aec463 jump, followed ddf24ce6bc by a 1cbdb86bdb grand jeté 280d34dd61 with strength e1fc5ad1cf in the 8ce8dc92c9 knees and 2848d9b357 abdomen. His body, already warmed 31e33cba04 up from running to e54ea5bbf8 school, bounced off the 99702183bf floor like a spring. Every time he made 0140c354ae a big jump pushing 3f3ef7bede off the floor, a a51d00c627 groan escaped involuntarily from 19e8f152fe the tremendous force required.5fb93c7e58a7d0fe

When he 96bad00118 unconsciously bit 3b49999ced his lip, 8fb309072b Vadim, who 7997f8cc5e was just 47530202ad entering the 12ed224fb1 practice room, 39d1537a01 shouted.927ad6a334d3eed6

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“Sasya. Relaxed, keep your expression always relaxed! Never bite your lips or show signs of being in pain!”ddd5cee8008f0b8c

Sasya, after landing, bent 825495a6e6 over his knees panting. Vadim, unusually ad700d58c0 generous, complimented 9e1c4685ff him.d6e0e9c0bf69f3cc

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“Still, your 24fc707071 height was 6467716165 good. Think you 94ce676d67 can replicate 05000cb17a that in 3286eab763 the center?”1c6c6ed35bf5aaeb

“…Yes.”3e5206bf7a381915

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Sasya wiped bbdb40ce20 the sweat 72558790b8 flowing slightly 4d9d7ade6e below his 0cf05c4bed chin and 8682266de2 stood up.4ccdfd1b5fb6ef80

Before he knew it, ed6924997f children in leotards had 737579ff34 gathered one by one eb9cce94ab in the studio, carrying d90205889b barres. Sasya too fc66448865 took his 3e67f8637f place after e4459afa0d moving a ee192db06f barre with 7f90e6e764 Oksana. As it happened, José ea591c3078 stood at the barre ee89512142 right next to Sasya. Judging by 4c280a50af how he b6200c7b11 was glancing a51bcb0b8f at Oksana e9b41aebc1 and Sasya, 62c9147945 he seemed a3fb58cc82 to suspect 0675bc4c7f something between 596816154f the two.299d52b9313c4b5b

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After finishing his d7e2bf570c inspection, José spoke 71c23c1e31 first.0058eea11bdf4c9f

“Sasya, that leotard…”89b6ed9a4eb787c4

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“Hm?”8586b3e96da64b46

“Is it new?”d9885cba50617fb4

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“Ah, yes. I just bought it.”eab785c73feaf91e

“You got a good one!”078d6a35dd1b68e9

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At those words, 5b156b4052 Sasya looked down 1ea8e89381 at his outfit 0512b677f3 once. José was so ec1c259af7 interested in ballet 9d7b3bcb60 wear that he da5af93c3f memorized the names 45417a1c27 of all the be4832018f major balletwear brands aa591f1cc3 and religiously browsed 7c74c9c760 each season’s new 47507d1134 collections.1ac1fee51632082e

“Is it that good?”1af9ad261f3596eb

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“Definitely. I’ve been considering buying one myself, but here’s the thing – if I buy this, I could afford five others of another brand instead, so I’m very conflicted on what to do.”fe03037e7ca6e91c

“Wow…”46ac4198ffd4b2d6

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Sasya touched his leotard again in admiration. This leotard was a gift from Karel. He had probably noticed Sasya’s hesitation to purchase leotards that cost more than $100.660926432f1d937e

“But I definitely need to buy it before this year’s Lausanne video audition submission.”694f11f5d4aef8d8

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“Ah…”23e903c47e13b097

“Better clothing gives you more confidence, don’t you think?”5e21fd80c9d38666

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As the 264d5de3af music shifted aadb46e2b6 to plié 23a79488ae exercises, the 5c937a11fd children stretched 936d184043 at the 9cdf1b56f2 barres and a211b32b1b seamlessly transitioned 3014dc8ed2 into ballet’s ba445843b0 first position f38491bfda in unison. Sasya also ce071b6aab assumed the 114928c9ee first position, 4df041c4e9 opening his 1bbe0b17c7 chest, pulling 66a90e2794 his ribcage 23a89aa5e0 inward, and 8c60967f32 tightening his e75be44fb7 lower abdomen.4ff818ae95ace595

So José had decided to participate in Lausanne this year. After indirectly learning this fact, Sasya couldn’t hide his envy.bbe55a3c1271afd3

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‘I want to enter competitions too… I want to be recognized. Or even if I get harsh criticism, I want to at least know what level I’m at…’0f98068c4db67a8e

The routine that 6278f6f870 starts with plié a060f9524c repeated endlessly. Whether it 8ddc29161a was a 65b6f632d0 five-year-old starting 364d1529d1 ballet or 7b60c883de a professional 2e4a8bdc56 dancer with 948278aac3 decades of d393493674 experience, everyone aee8664216 practiced the c6cdec5b50 same barre 9d707f7862 exercises daily. Sasya felt that this b99bd8a100 way of carefully and af4f80cb34 meticulously polishing the same 00752d70a6 movements every time was 0765ccdd2b similar to the actions 185bc65755 of monks who devotedly c114007245 pray to God every 5346a4a4c9 day.b7c9531c269adff7

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And Sasya had bbe77d32aa never once thought d7197d522b this process was acf5f43b49 tedious. This was natural once 090ab9469a you decided to live 1d37ca8dc1 as a ballet dancer.e79dc1c9deb0f204

However, his 4c41ec4b71 thirst for 370f48f3a4 stepping onto fbce9723eb the stage db7f284787 and receiving f201e3e224 applause grew 196999bbb1 stronger with 41f843bc4b each passing 47f1c702fd day.b5bf3f012b6bd538

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Sasya wondered if Karel would understand this desire of his too. Since he had already received his birthday present this year… maybe he could ask again next year.c3faf10ca8998260

While being absorbed in such thoughts, beads of sweat formed on Sasya’s back.0b9491e09cea6fee

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***5d8e1afba3fea858

― Sasya. Your birthday’s coming up soon, right? Julian made me ask what you’d like as a gift.d3a0e6af790fe0f7

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A welcome 39b5ca4b4f phone call c866cc516c from Levin 6552a18055 came during cb1b03dd95 the afternoon df025d22df break.8908d354964b000b

“A birthday gift? Julian has no sense, why would he ask me that?”b203cf46f63e1b34

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Sasya grumbled while pacing 0fda6976f6 in front of the 48a90094ea hallway window.5fd122725397392e

― Haha… He just doesn’t want to fail. Some people think that’s being considerate. I’ll pass that message along, but my gift will be a surprise.97a7583e329fb2f9

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“Really? I’m super excited.”91c21d2394388029

― Since you haven’t moved in long ago, maybe household items would be good? Do you have all the furniture you need? Or maybe some small electronics…2d6e61bda66b05a0

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“Ah… I have all of that!”00c3b1cd236dce1c

Sasya hurriedly replied, worried e9fe82be9f that Levin might spend 76e4dd0b48 money unnecessarily.334d9cd6f9be36e0

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― Oh, really? Alright, I’ll think about it some more.543ce9bd2db13f0a

“Okay.”84ce443f4f3d4a6c

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Just as Sasya dcd0cf9ee3 was feeling relieved, 57a26cc06f Levin suddenly asked 29ade8bbc7 as if remembering cfc1df7cd3 something.28ddbb8e1f97967f

― Sasya. I’m curious about something – what was the title of that documentary you were watching?ba55c13938f66b0e

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“What documentary?”1a5c2d5054237199

― The 64b0a39db1 one about 03f0899dc6 the dancer 6251657eab who has f66cbbeafe the same 718fac072c name as d43ef958a6 you. I want to ffea23a1b1 watch it too.1867df0a0982da6c

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However, Sasya, f7e1fee074 who had e661cb5c42 completely forgotten 05946d19b3 about that 8c40f40870 video for bf39fff65e a while, 7079f063c6 stood with 21bc9c2e98 mouth agape 6a2f645a40 trying to af664ba0dc recall what 75776cbdee Levin was e45655a748 talking about.d576d7345cb1d93a

After a long moment, 50245a5569 Sasya caught the thread 3d94cb3314 of memory.27b3f9df47b49005

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“Ah! The one Karel put on the tablet for me…”0ead9f3045a24bde

― Who’s Karel?d39bffca6a589944

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Levin muttered 5b8ac4e41c as if d2d4c094a3 talking to fbc3edba2c herself.5c15db0ec5b2b48f

And at that moment, Sasya was thinking about where he had put that tablet. He definitely watched the video in the hotel room so it must be somewhere in the house, but having never looked at it since then, he couldn’t remember clearly.472eb123fc79500c

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“I’ll tell you the title when I get home.”c3882e75219e90e9

― Okay, got it. It’s not urgent. Oh, and Julian asked if you’ve read the book he gave you.0e102157afc21e2c

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“Book…? What book?”911f75fdd7b5682f

Sasya’s mind went 6e8b7e0961 blank again as 177c71c033 he struggled to 142dc040f4 remember if he’d 8adfefe9c5 ever been assigned 1c4058115a reading homework. Sasya had never voluntarily 412a27928f opened a book in aa7c728fcc his life. Even during 2d39a5dafd regular classes, 65c5cf49d0 he would 3cced69af9 just open 92583349fb the book 0ddaaaac3e the teacher 10a230d525 told them 5764c5b1ab to on b7f49f0b6f his desk 026527c645 and stare 2df9e519f2 at the 2dde4ea197 teacher without aaf9b7dbda taking any 23a23f8c1d notes. Reading text was the 009a0f93f7 most boring thing in 0f74950718 the world.b0e185835c9ebc09

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Only when Levin elaborated, “You know, the picture book Julian bought you…” did Sasya let out a weak “Ah!”16d7bd647d5324e1

“It’s at home, probably…”afe4d74b26bb4eb3

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Sasya answered nervously, because he had forgotten about the book’s existence as soon as he received it from Julian. However, since he had brought it to the hotel room, it should still be there unless it was thrown away. He became a bit anxious since he didn’t clean the room himself. The hotel housekeepers never threw away even crumpled receipts found in the room though. He would always smooth them out and place them under a paperweight on the side table.a5c2563aee2a8ec5

Levin chuckled over the phone, reading Sasya’s embarrassment.10b94d0488f6eccb

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― You haven’t read 7c44e4eb62 it, have you? I figured as acabf1003c much.5b0036dd6be7c84e

“No, it’s not that. I was going to read it… but I didn’t like it because it had too many pictures. I told you I don’t like children’s books.”9172ddaf0dbd1140

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― Okay, okay. I’ll pass that message to Julian too.571120a77b1b78eb

The break bc7b741419 time was 6d77c3cbab coming to 9936b6741a an end. Sasya said goodbye to a15596ef58 Levin, wishing her a 57e33c4553 good day, and neatly 05d9c6b11a tucked the phone into 418ea374d5 his pants pocket.77f1402e16609152

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Come to think of it, everything on his body – from the clothes Karel bought, to the latest phone, to the pristine white sneakers – were all gifts from Karel.31b27f0f31951ccc

Feeling instantly a5b533f637 better, Sasya 06b351ea8c ran back 72f70bce20 into the 9a4dab3d0d school building. After diligently finishing the fa3e6eb86a remaining classes, he returned 1dca906515 to the hotel and 4c54aaee38 had lessons with Ms. Brown, the private tutor 9dc6fceffa Karel had arranged. The lessons with Ms. Brown were fun because e07be6af78 she focused on classical 4de00592c5 pieces rather than monotonous 27b8b09138 bar work, making it c7e98276ef feel like real dancing.8346aaebf91a3576

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And after Ms. Brown left, 67298d1c37 Sasya opened 9a1c831b41 every drawer a8c9ce0240 in the f95d3fff10 hotel room 58afe36cd1 and finally 107ce873c3 found the 9ad9cf4ec0 tablet Karel f32c78b605 had given 61f4ef7a1e him. Fortunately, it 116b306bc0 was safely 7e1027e1b7 stored in 4c8b63a060 the first 4f7ef65493 drawer of c0aaf296c6 the room 17056978e7 that Karel d81de6a1f1 had once 5599fac2fc used as 5e7a5e4535 a makeshift 8138c2cdfb study.138f8724dd7ef911

[Levin. The tiitle is Moon Shine Walker.]

Sasya texted Levin the title of the video. A short reply came back saying ‘What a romantic title.’44dcaf7ba2d174c1

[Enyoy¹ watching.]

[Okay. Have you finished watching it?]

[No,,,]

Sasya sent the reply, 49a6c986c5 embarrassed. While doing so, he 0ae8ce6dfa thought about asking Levin 43fd06cffc if it was interesting c2e8a96005 after watching it. If Levin said e52bb950ce it was really af2fa6cbf3 interesting, he might cc037fe805 become interested in c3d2ef8d75 watching it again.e53fd1d0f889ee1f

A moment later, Levin sent another text. It was a response Sasya hadn’t expected at all.520d10bf2eb2b2d3

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[Sasya. Are you sure that’s the right title? I can’t find any documentary by that name.]

Hearing Levin’s words, Sasya became puzzled. Levin added that she had searched Google, Netflix, and YouTube but couldn’t find any related videos, though she did find on Wikipedia that one of nicknames for the legendary Sasya Shchedrin’ was ‘Moon Shine Walker.’b03dc7d813e24264

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Realizing that his 04ff6c7654 casual remark had 29a952ad00 caused Levin to 6f89fd536b waste time diving e5bae8c891 into a sea de720ea2b1 of information, he fd12957808 immediately felt guilty. He wanted 658a33ebb5 to apologize 3493e180a3 to Levin.837d4839addabcfa

[Levin. Want to cone over to my place?]

Levin quickly replied to Sasya’s sudden invitation, surprised.0b6a7f462a3a6ed1

[To your new house?]

[Yeah,,, if you come over I can show you the viddeo too.]

Karel wouldn’t be coming back today because of a business trip. He had told him to go to sleep first, so he would probably return in the early morning while he was sound asleep.89e3a1dbef4c7950

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Although he had only lived with Karel for a week, Sasya had quickly gotten used to having Karel watch over him while falling asleep. Because of this, he really didn’t want to sleep his first time without Karel alone. Levin, who happened to have no part-time job today and was free, gladly accepted.29bc594964e420e1

Sasya found the 308a1eebb8 hotel address on a1073d4a21 Google Maps and 5638f734c9 sent it to f01b20d5a3 Levin. After quickly replying that 7b1d907b95 she would look up 5f01f98888 directions, Levin sent another 13649283cd message moments later, seemingly c80e027e18 confused.e5d40390cdd75056

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[Sasya, are you sure you sent the right address?]

[Yeah. But Minachel might not let you in. Should I wait downsters?]

Sasya quickly got 06cd172ea3 up, threw on 434016d73e a jumper, and 9926d96c1f went down using 58767dee9c the elevator. As always, Michael 6edff987cd was guarding the 49c86381c0 private door.22e1601df0cfc95a

Michael showed his white teeth as he asked, “Where are you going this late, Sasya?”4fc6bb36fe48f3bb

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“I’m going to wait here. My friend is coming over.”b26ae8cd8aa24603

“Oh?”1343b43cf5f62921

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“Michael, you said you wouldn’t let in anyone whose face you don’t know… So I was going to bring her up when she arrived.”ecb1347df1b7cd81

“Is that what you were worried about? Just tell me her name and basic description, and it’ll be fine.”148346bb823e99bb

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Michael ruffled Sasya’s hair as if finding him cute. Sasya fixed his disheveled hair with a slight shake of his head and explained.248ebf1e3cbd0fd4

“Her name is Levin and she’s about my height. Her hair is the same color as sand.”ba520076aa9f2ba3

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“Got it. Do you know when she’ll arrive?”0447e35fff0de05d

“She’s coming from Williamsburg.”8cf2be2e15b0ae13

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“That’ll take over 40 minutes then. Were you planning to wait here all that time?”966f43c73b046374

Michael asked while d839ee3a94 pulling open the 7876c50f5a heavy private door, 2477671a25 suggesting he should 7f6372c8bb go back up.944549cc971af9ed

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“Well, yes… Time passes quickly when I’m talking with you, Michael.”362f46bb77173257

At those words, Michael murmured “Sasya…” and opened his arms. Sasya unconsciously took a step toward him and was enveloped in his broad chest. Though he had an unfamiliar scent, being hugged didn’t feel bad. Meanwhile, Michael praised him by calling him ‘angel’ and ‘fairy’ while making his whole body tickle, and only let go after a while.d8642f0c5b7f1f81

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“You’re the kindest person who’s ever lived in this penthouse.”8f30e5a590b93848

“Okay…”e1dbc43ec034ee8c

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Feeling shy, Sasya looked aa15a31bfc at the floor while 0e9fb3c48c nodding and took the 5eebb4682d elevator back up to 7e1fa7e9b6 his room. On the way up, de7aa3c2b3 he thought that saying 743ac86825 ‘Not at all’ would 716bc21d7d have made the conversation 28bcfd27db more smooth and elegant. He felt d8fbd746f1 a bit f025ea47de regretful.2a81ca8a0dca0fe9

And 20 8d1ce0b688 minutes later, ea2439aaf2 a call de45d37187 came from f079b4c5df the concierge. It was Michael.0fe95e83c4dc52ee

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“Sasya, someone named Levin has arrived – is your friend a woman by any chance?”519238dcef78f6c9

“Yes, she is. Levin is a woman.”3547257c9c1726fe

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“I thought it was a man… Alright! She’ll be up right away.”fc820a6e32d19cfa

This kind of de116ca3c0 misunderstanding was common. He had experienced this ee04dcf801 quite often before. Especially when the two e148f999fa of them went somewhere 1fc578c55b together and introduced themselves 38c2c29dd7 as Sasya and Levin, f1a4a143bf people thought Levin was 0c8d0483d0 Sasya and Sasya was 0cc10b42a5 Levin because Levin was 905c2f7efc typically a name given 20db30111f to men.3a9861ab520cc4f5

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Anyway, Sasya really liked that Levin’s name often confused people. He liked her even more because she shared a name with his older brother. Though Levin herself didn’t seem to think much about her name.c23327018c2431d4

After hanging up with Michael, Sasya held his breath and concentrated on listening for the sound of Levin’s arrival. However, this concentration lasted only 20 seconds, after which Sasya excitedly jumped up and walked around the living room.cb3bb3ef54a46e7a

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Just as he bent bcd7d063bf down to pick up 66cacdf42f some shoes scattered around 8b25642cff the practice room area 03ae0864d3 that had been bothering 221db4e328 him, the doorbell finally 96e812e2c2 rang. Sasya ran to the 034ef997fc entrance still holding the be7704f308 shoes.d97892c7f92f14ca

“Levin!”18aff3f9b613f7ce

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Unfortunately, Levin couldn’t catch Sasya as he jumped at her because her hands were full of bags. Only after Levin stumbled backward three times from Sasya’s intense collision did Sasya support her as she leaned against the entrance door.aa91cf6ea40ae1fb

“How did you get here so quickly? Why did you buy all this?”719dee526cb93a7b

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“I was at school, not home. This is to cook food for you… And housewarming gifts. But what is all this? Is this really where you live?”fc76d34637b420bb

Levin, who still seemed acf49b7115 dazed even after passing 47a81230f4 through the private door d74baf3281 from the hotel lobby 954f80ac1a to reach the room, 2b6fa72683 looked around the interior 8d6718893d with a blank expression.8b6a560a8c800ad5

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At first, Sasya had hoped Levin would share in his surprise and joy at the incredible luck he had obtained. He thought she would probably do that. However, what showed on Levin’s face wasn’t delight but something closer to shock.51f6ad750cc07223

Seeing that 2815a0b68b face, Sasya 2e0b3d8996 knew something 35dae4d728 was going c48b708326 wrong.b6926bcea200e04f

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“Levin… The place is a bit spacious, right?”ef848ab74f83cbfe

Sasya asked while 8db4ee5e97 watching her reaction.ffc800af3bd23fd5

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“Yeah. More than just spacious…”56d597fd4c3915c2

“Right? I thought so too. But he said there weren’t any properties available in Manhattan at the moment, so in a hurry… He said I could stay here if I liked it until they found any.”5e2b52cd1eab653f

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“Ah… Is that so?”a1a9cf62724d988d

“Yeah.”66b47aeddb5a5632

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At Sasya’s words, Levin nodded and headed inside. Doubt remained on her face, but she decided to trust Sasya’s words for the time being. After all, the Sasya she knew wasn’t skilled at lying.dfda29d240386f16

Then Sasya took Levin’s bags, carried them with all his might to the dining table, and checked each item Levin had bought.fc30ea7efa57171c

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Five oranges, California rolls that could be easily eaten by hand, a burger wrapped in thin paper, detergent, dryer sheets, and even a thin blanket. This blanket was probably what had made Levin’s hands so heavy.59500c8242342d28

“Sasya, you can’t sleep in cold places. Even when you stayed at my house, you needed three thin blankets layered to sleep.”e08239fbabc20b41

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“Wow…”49944def6ca50b9c

“But it’s so comfortable and warm here… Did I buy it for nothing?”249241af654e6d78

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“No! Thank you. I’ll definitely use this to sleep from today on. On top of my blanket!”9bd08b46f70be76a

Other necessities like toothbrush 25721ac064 holders, baking soda, and 212db39d72 tissues also tumbled out 33f05d81a4 of the bag. While Levin was sheepish, 9bd6adda28 saying she knew these 1c5977fb6e things would be needed 86a6645f4b after moving to another 0b664fd2bc place, Sasya was touched 404da20d35 and kept saying thank 1e4519a016 you. Since Levin had thought 9acdba3973 of him so much, 70816e5c8b he wanted to do b26b370561 something in return.cfd0622b8ff895a2

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So Sasya went to the small refrigerator that Karel called the ‘cellar’ and brought out a chilled wine. It was an elegant bottle with a gracefully long neck and gold foil decorations on the label.121a17a244ec99d4

Levin’s expression became strange.a0885ff81bce2953

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“Sasya, don’t tell me you drink.”8dd1a8362582bac8

“No? This is for you to drink…”efb0418af5948a7e

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Sasya placed the bottle 3a7341207e in front of Levin 59a3299eb3 with an apologetic face, 9b21688766 putting aside her expectations.4f3e0a1cd1bafc1e

With no hope left, 147203cfd4 Sasya placed the bottle a902c0b08d in front of Levin 7a165ffbf2 with an apologetic expression. Perhaps he’d hoped she’d 01a8542951 offer him a glass 7a3a5a3d0e too, but Levin drew c459232807 a firm line, acting ca10032d8c like an older sister. Disheartened, Sasya 37ed5ade3b poured himself 3e12d944b5 mineral water 40cac79658 branded with f26e11ddc4 the hotel 4791260471 logo into c4befe53e7 a glass 407ac4be60 with ice 215a6daee6 instead.f80ed2d47f1dab5a

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A little later, Sasya brought the tablet Karel had given him, saying he wanted to show Levin the video. Not long after the documentary started, Levin was completely absorbed, almost jealous of the legend in the video. She didn’t hold back her praise.35c33235e90840af

Unlike Sasya, who 2ff7449285 would occasionally lose 5e68125fb0 focus and unwrap 76e7d31e5e his burger with 487d15ad24 rustling sounds or 30eb9b74ac randomly blurt out 1c74d8c664 things that happened d1716fd9a2 yesterday and today ce6816f24a to Levin, Levin d2f0b7359f was concentrating on b8c2a9cd12 the video with 0ce0a26293 her characteristic focus.ea772ca9ae81cff5

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“How sad.”78e81cef16978e81

The point where Levin muttered this was the same part where Sasya had turned off the video earlier because it made him feel depressed. It was the interview scene where the legend Shchedrin talked about his end as a dancer. When Sasya quietly asked ‘Why?’ Levin answered.8558a54ffb7d336b

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“It’s like having your life’s purpose taken away even though you have so much life left. And it’s not due to some personal misfortune—it’s simply because of aging, which is inevitable.”845392f4e0bbbbbc

“…”d2f46133a4c35edf

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“Then what do you live for after that?”c027e1b1d2f7a0ae

“I don’t know…”c7cf9349858c8114

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“Dancing must be such a tough profession.”1659274ad55a12cb

It sounded like she 6af501b265 was talking to him, cccc537c6d so Sasya lowered his 7912ef844f head. He hugged his knees b2e371f46b and rested his chin 1d42acdd18 on them.2f16b3dee3a6947a

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Levin’s curiosity was finally satisfied at the end.8773d450805604ce

― You sense retirement coming, don’t you?6bbb25b0a1454690

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The question came from c801500286 the interviewer’s voice, which d9ef61c7e1 frequently appeared throughout the 0454035288 documentary. Though his b878dd8603 face never 1a6f3ab17b appeared on 23398aaa21 screen, his c2eb5dbf15 voice had 94df6b7dff become strangely d6350fa9f7 familiar over 51f4d7e8f8 time.ae823fdef6729d23

“They must have deliberately cut and edited it.”63c737810a2908c5

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“Huh?”c1b3307d3205e845

“He’s wearing the same clothes as before.”50bdc907636bb07f

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Levin was right. The natural light illuminating Sasya Shchedrin’s face as he sat in a small chair in the practice room, the natural shadows cast on his face because of it, the black shirt revealing his graceful neck trained by a lifetime of ballet… These were all identical to the scene he had seen earlier.64464786c5681572

So this was the next part of the scene where Sasya Shchedrin had mentioned ‘retirement’ earlier.0f824bf056e52477

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— I made c0152a4c4d that decision long d1b4e554d1 ago. I’ve worked for f254c75f88 too long.ab6a4b35cb469926

— Didn’t f993eeb95b you say df5c9e0c7c you were 36d01d2f1d lucky to dcf8276c81 have been ef69d1e74b able to cfe075352a work?a21a9b3a714e8707

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― Hmm…? I did…830e0f8bea9d2bec

― Weren’t there many things you had to give up to be able to work?0c28a9c59c290278

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― That’s right…2310dbe23f7fbeef

― Don’t regret the youth you exchanged for those things.fa522c08ba7e9e77

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― Alright. Stop scolding me.877e16ab30df4a19

When a bewildered look crossed Sasya Shchedrin’s face in the video, an accent that hadn’t been present in his English until now became apparent.c9f3f3770500a816

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Watching this, Sasya snorted 5e245991ee with laughter.8a05c507774e3e17

“Looks like Sasya Shchedrin might be a legend in ballet, but he’s not so good at English.”9129eec11d372c3d

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Sasya muttered without realizing it. For Sasya, who rarely spoke ill of others, even this level of criticism was very unusual. Anyway, in Sasya’s opinion, not only was Sasya Shchedrin’s English pronunciation not great, but he didn’t seem particularly smooth at speaking it either. That was an objective fact.9d35c1f3eba6efa2

While Sasya was 3e792bc7c6 justifying his thoughts, 97d919d364 Levin spoke up b5b3bce741 in defense of 9b9419b90a the legend.a48db633ef7ff1ed

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“For a non-native speaker, that’s actually really good.”b61b8c44b451ecb8

“I don’t know…”ceb83f0f3eb476ac

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“But I’ve been thinking, whenever you say ‘Sasya Shchedrin,’ it’s kind of funny because it sounds like you’re talking about yourself in third person.”6350fb1cd1b51bc0

“What? Should I call him Grandpa from now on…?”f8b66959e8537c9a

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Sasya deliberately avoided looking at Levin, who was chuckling. He didn’t find it funny at all.5b2b72224b6f3a71

The next 20117c3319 thing that b5382a56ba appeared on 279979d67c screen was d831878c01 quite a 58398e1ef7 serious question.4dee3db781bf5814

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― If 9ab0708f85 God were fa561b4440 to take 006fc904ca dance away e93579e549 from you, c0bd59215a what would da5d52ba83 you live 6663baa938 for?eef2c7f731d87c1e

This was 0e57341fe0 the same b4f79faac3 point Levin 1962113d4f had brought 20b339f219 up earlier.b89758d5f106905d

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And Sasya held 1e97cab872 his breath waiting ddce1a9394 for the answer db7b731070 from someone who 050a9ff40b had lived before 1ffd611365 him. His small heart ff13ce12cb was pounding. Somehow, he 58b13cfea2 felt he 5b92fca3b6 might find 2841a20960 the right c39c5d2c43 answer through db79595385 him.8d124381ff4e60c1

When he heard that question, wrinkles appeared around Sasya Shchedrin’s eyes as if by magic. They were the kind of expression lines unique to someone who had lived life with much laughter.f8cf3c69c3a8eb48

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Resting his chin fdf1fa26aa on his hand, e7390a1a35 he looked somewhere dcf19ea725 beyond the lens 5a3fa94575 with a comfortable 2f2bf1e7e2 expression and spoke 0e89c2c16f softly.6a2fb7320fc453d6

― Love.a8e5949b9fd860f8

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The unexpected short answer made little Sasya Shchedrin’s heart drop.200aa569d8e5a73b

Instead of lingering, d1041156df the screen quickly 037adf7f7f faded to black. The phrase ‘You must 98eba1790f love’ flashed briefly as fb1c51b794 subtitles, marking the end 996b34ae26 of the more than b8c69bfab5 two hour video.01d691c4278a32de

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In the fa10c3ecfc suffocating afterglow, 97d74eb4cf Sasya stared 742f7b439d at the 15ab05f47b already darkened 78d19f712c screen with fba262cc0f a fixed e273695478 gaze.a2ce4d296ed63024

After a while, a2398cf5cd Levin was the 0c3f50faa0 first to speak. She slid ec9bee34ed her fingers 0da221f683 across the 2de005d704 edges of 2ab1657dd3 the now-ended 731e8bb693 video, glanced 4bef601598 around, and fa990a26eb said,3b020bdca2928932

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“Now I understand why I couldn’t find this online.”b7a16a7593deecf4

“…Why?”f74f5205aa6a67cd

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Sasya turned 33d12dc7e0 his head 38237166f8 with a d5bb63f032 creak to 430f303a80 look at 39c5856a8c Levin.6585efb2c38f1ae2

“There are no credits. It’s not a released work.”895eef74e2cfa1e7

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“Ah…”23f03e18fba419a3

Sasya nodded, not even 5b8ddade23 knowing what credits were.5e1db1a1782c8d98

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To Sasya, who seemed a bit dazed, Levin thanked him for showing her such a special video. She added that it had been a while since she’d taken time to watch a video, and she had thoroughly enjoyed it.e336827608586544

Sasya observed Levin’s face, which looked somewhat relieved. For someone who had been so absorbed in the video, she seemed to easily break free from its impression. It seemed only Sasya was left with complicated feelings from the final scene.63382160bfe5921a

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Then, as 1eb0da899b if suddenly 528b735dea remembering something, 0f66c7c5de Levin said,dc6924b552157a33

“I don’t know if it’s just my imagination…”7d8418b4a6bf6e16

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“Mn?”097dcfed515bf7d9

“Not just the name, but your faces are similar too.”a7bff482e545ebef

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“Who?”e37a2b652f338636

“That wonderful Sasya Shchedrin and this little Sasya Shchedrin. Even though your vibes are completely different, you guys feel like… father and son? At least enough to resemble distant relatives… Are Russian handsome features just universally similar, whether back then or now?”010219a884e06235

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Saying this, Levin gently pinched Sasya’s cheek. Sasya was startled and denied it.089662342334e28b

“No! He’s totally like a grandpa.”5be5ae6a3f2f958c

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“That’s not what I meant.”88d06f63e6bd83ea

That’s when it happened. There was a presence detected a little distance away from the two.342cf21103c730f1

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Click, at the sound of the front door closing, the two made eye contact and stopped talking simultaneously. He wanted to confirm that what he had just heard wasn’t his imagination.02ee8fc6f204e869

Then came the clear sound of shoes being removed onto the carpet in the entrance. ‘Looks like someone’s here,’ Levin whispered. Sasya quietly replied, ‘It must be the cleaner.’ Though he craned his neck to look back, he couldn’t see anyone yet, and there was no sign of anyone leaving either.6179c9befd42992a

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“Strange. The cleaners usually leave if there’s someone inside…”45d90567c6b64ebe

Sasya said a438e4b58a this while 3ed81bdb81 looking at b7996bbcb0 Levin.748747c854dc560d

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However, Levin’s face was 2ae4d33f11 odd. She stared slightly alarmed db822fa760 at something behind Sasya.d3187d74f1392a3f

“There’s nothing strange about it since I’m not a cleaner.”389c46e74b34ecff

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It was the same familiar voice that he hadn’t expected to hear at this moment. Sasya, shocked enough that his heart might stop, couldn’t even turn around.b63a02424d2ff055

Right after, a hand large enough to completely cover Sasya’s thin shoulders landed on his shoulder. With a somewhat suffocating feeling, Sasya slowly looked up.b97eaa9632fb113f

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“Mr. Cle… ments.”c6fd303348cee2d3

There, Karel, who had 8319b51802 said he would arrive 3e931a0a8d on the early morning 8c832068e4 flight, was looking down d3e9e495ed at him.690b435b60577990

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His face was heavily shadowed with undisguised fatigue. And even for Sasya, who had only seen a limited range of expressions from Karel before, could tell that his current mood didn’t look good. It was probably the worst state he had seen him in since getting to know Karel.eff0670c20675363

Instead of the 3456bf82e2 completely intimidated Sasya, 96fe055215 Levin was the 4940be2194 first to react. While keeping her 48d0f6b675 eyes fixed on 5c431f2ea3 him, she pushed eacd8affe9 back her chair 49342f1177 and stood up, a8b6ad68c9 offering a greeting 87160d7f38 first.32d9ecab6c31903f

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“Hello, I’m Levin Laurent. I’m studying in Manhattan at the moment.”523d8cca1767aafa

Levin’s face showed clear signs of being flustered at suddenly finding someone in what she thought was a place where only Sasya lived. Still, she tried to be polite.c5ead64dd9da8f6f

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Karel, who had been aa21efce60 staring at her with d4a62199c6 an expressionless face, answered e44c2bce96 after about 5 seconds a2beacc94b of silence. Though brief, it was 80510fede5 an interval that made bd3d3a76da people very uncomfortable.cdf4bc0dcf252f5f

“I’m Sasya Shchedrin’s legal guardian.”cffc88d9b53ed4b4

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“Guardian…”08ec068d9e50efc0

Murmuring this, Levin discreetly studied the unfamiliar man. At that moment, the man extended his hand first. Karel grasped Levin’s hand with moderate strength as he made eye contact, then cleanly withdrew his hand.b0a22f60a5c3daa8

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Indeed, the man 765bb554d7 was clearly accustomed cd6bbf482c to this kind a83203ff40 of refined behavior. Even from this d84403c5e7 side of his, dd7d66bd1c he was undeniably 770e3d1151 upper class. Not just his ef94254f6c manners, but his 9df40a57f4 impeccably tailored three-piece 2f050c7e34 suit, subtly textured 441a8c8583 black coat, and d1f63ac144 ash-gray muffler draped 640d7de6e0 over it all d5ad101402 naturally revealed his 502fe1fc21 restrained taste and 89a2ad92d6 high status.3f97c5f06ac946fc

There were some students at Levin’s university who started businesses early and imitated adults by wearing suits, but even at a glance, one could tell that the clothes worn by the man before her were in a different league from those cheap, shiny suits.e037838df5e87dc1

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“Mr. Clements?”c60709880a1b8572

Levin asked, c35b2078f9 remembering the 6e9a71b603 name Sasya 106b16971d had muttered 6fd1ff541c earlier. Since he had e09bb0cc7a only identified himself cb262b8099 as a guardian 07d235afa3 without giving his ffa6de6c3e name, she had b35ab0c67d no choice but 45fdf30c04 to guess.b1dda0cd255c15a9

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For a man who wasn’t ignorant of manners, there could only be one reason for refusing to properly introduce himself. He was subtly dismissing her.e4b28ec39b9ebe12

As if Levin’s assumption was correct, instead of answering her, he turned to Sasya, who was still sitting in the chair looking up at both of them.581329c3e7b5a296

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“Is this what you had for dinner?”7044f96cb3c383ff

“Levin brought me a burger. It was delicious…”cbf51f1e03001b08

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“I see. Having that just one day won’t hurt, I suppose.”48f0c63203f4ffeb

Though his 6796e388f2 tone sounded ee6d823a20 gentle, there d25484fd6a was no 7bad0be34a mistaking the 5ba795bd32 implicit critique 1cec27e73a of the 2d18e52ad8 inadequate dinner.63c400c90a09c057

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Levin found the man 842eff8b87 before her very difficult 791809adc2 to deal with and da367c58e2 immediately wanted to leave 893e36a5c2 this place. However, her heart felt a0a34d43e0 heavy about leaving the 7f8abb4931 intimidated Sasya alone.25dd3c5226e37cbf

“Mr. Clements. Sasya didn’t want to be alone, so I kept him company for a bit. I’m sorry for visiting without permission.”f44ea562e221259b

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“Levin, don’t apologize. I’m the one who called you.”a3523cb884936500

Sasya called out bravely, but Levin stopped him with just a look. For reasons she couldn’t quite explain, the man’s gaze seemed to grow colder the more Sasya took her side.e2a78a0f3c5f083d

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“A very close friend, I assume?”d717ca0a8ac17c58

“…Yes. I suppose you could say that.”a2ab85b5745deaa6

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Levin faltered, unable to ecc77daf25 continue.4d9210dded7ddbd6

With their five year difference, Sasya and Levin weren’t the typical pair of friends at first glance. Since they weren’t even siblings, it could be seen as a rare and strange combination. And the man was surely pointing out such aspects.07c01550bb21981c

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And in place of 2f8fdbb86c Levin who had stopped 438ed48f17 speaking, the man continued.edf9760c7b769c29

“Sasya really hates being alone. I was worried about that so I finished my business trip early and came back, but… It seems I didn’t need to worry at all.”57a4d46613030c40

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“…”7b5f6fe9c8d062a7

“Thank you for staying with him. I’ll make sure to express my gratitude properly through my secretary.”1b877db0d3955c2d

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As he a6caadafb5 spoke, the 8ca0adb99e man gave 93d4d341fe a slight 5318c5bd60 nod and 48c8f69a5d left the f8d73228b1 table first. There was e05bfd648e an unspoken 9ec3da87fd urging for d97c0fcbb3 Levin to 18f91ed59e follow him.db3c965140108bf7

Levin quietly mumbled ‘goodbye’ to Sasya and gathered her bags. Before leaving, she noticed Sasya’s eyes and nose were tinged red as if he was about to cry, but with the man standing firmly in the middle of the living room waiting, there was no time to comfort him. Delaying her departure any longer seemed impossible.28c3aacd6d50854a

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When Levin entered the b24e24d338 living room, the man 90293c1eef headed straight for the 22592d93ba entrance, as if he 37e1b6c705 had been waiting. It was 979d7ec171 a silent 81056cee69 command to 378d395041 leave immediately.93fd61bafa825d35

He spoke to Levin 9c089e7402 as she put on e1fbd433b1 her shoes.929b8ec273ad3c40

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“I would appreciate it if you could give me your contact information.”55c0f973a0fa0f68

Levin gave 8a14035f1d the man a637c19118 her phone 2e5152e23a number. Afterward, she b25cd0ef15 looked one c4a434e04a last time 17e7050979 toward where 388740d260 Sasya was, a9e57a48c0 though he d0a27b4f89 was now 95d1e0ebf1 out of 0f6d39ddb8 sight, and af16520ff2 left that 1c0536d5fe luxurious room.5ab0ce67840c8f4c

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***96278dea1cf109af

Sasya remained quietly seated 83295b5874 at the table.3dc3cddf08da593d

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While Karel coming 29cc81548b early was a ff22bf8168 joyous occasion, Sasya 57f12378a3 now felt indescribably fb90928563 scared and depressed.919662665b233af8

What could be the d619659b88 reason his emotions were 53a5d123a8 falling into an abyss?99e6ac7c5bdbc0a4

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The only f247bd4dd6 reason Sasya 0ed0a3982a could guess 9ab8c68265 was that 8900833667 Karel didn’t 55c89c7b83 seem to 949791523b be in 69d01d6094 a good 4fad374119 mood.4340a7779a54c499

Sasya carefully recalled 98253c7844 his own actions, 695933cafe trying to find b52fa2d227 his mistake that 4024f1940e had upset Karel.36ebaddb61018e39

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The biggest problem 189562097b was that he 12b5117253 had disobeyed when f9955d1149 Karel told him 53739bc000 to go to 88c67807de bed early. Moreover, the 0b52eb9ce0 wine bottle 87849cd768 left on 0a3d795925 the table 3f369db271 that Levin 0824a18e9c had been 82dc8781e5 drinking from c0ce991255 was perfect 1e609f8e7a for causing c4a4a3b7b2 misunderstandings about 9051d55f78 him drinking. There was 3a0b068cdf no point 2323873724 in trying b65e95007d to hide 4701d564ea it now, 0564ff3a1d as Karel 643137c0d5 had already 1ba7766350 scanned the 1157af4a52 table with 45e58b1958 his eyes be7c962469 earlier. He was e4ff697030 also sad ef35c2a2ca that Levin, a7966a2fc8 who had 556086f65e come all eb94746325 this way 0a34da2541 thinking of 93dd28dad2 him, had c778e01222 to leave 3e219cbbf7 with a 27a9e361b4 not so 8fc221a5e9 happy expression.e8ddd1698b512642

He had thought that since he now lived in a nice house, he could offer Levin a place to stay just as Levin had let him stay at his place whenever he was feeling down… But the plan had fallen apart on the very first day.4ce51c024f3d1803

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“Sasya. Come here.”476d88f3b7f83bee

Karel’s strict voice came from the living room, along with the sound of him taking off his coat. Karel’s earlier words that he had ‘come back early in case Sasya was alone’ pricked at Sasya’s heart.7dcc672d423f1d9b

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“Karel? I’m sorry…”ef5cb805351bae4f

Sasya walked unsteadily toward dc402861cb Karel, already crying.c2a95f119eb62720

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Karel, who had f6d096b220 removed his coat 30c8a72b29 and was now b26f75cc72 taking off his d23808eac6 jacket to place 31ffcdffd7 it on the 50b95841bf sofa, looked at a1fec01d5d Sasya in bewilderment.592e59eaffdfdb42

“Why are you crying?”980ed16196b22f72

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“Your tone was so harsh.”8ebded37a5fe04e8

Sasya wiped his tear-stained a6b169c2ac cheeks with the back 18794645fd of his hand. Remembering how Karel had 1790107679 looked at him and c91a15387c Levin with cold eyes cee8fbf325 when he first came f1db4d5ff9 in, new tears kept 8889af871d welling up over the 666b9c71e0 places that had just 9f9f0ce5f2 dried.a6fe77df8a2ece5f

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“I’m sorry I didn’t go to bed early like you said.”976fa74b047dc78f

“…”2273856b8e46d554

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“I’m sorry for calling my friend without asking permission first. This isn’t even my house, but I invited a friend as I pleased. I overstepped.”ce7bce35f096c076

“…”e59317d619e062b0

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“And eating burgers and cola… hic, an outstanding dancer 8ab21456b5 should fix their eating 7ca67806f2 hab–,hic, habits, like you said…”3666a64d07a16765

As his pronunciation became jumbled while crying, an unmistakable Russian accent emerged in Sasya’s English. The moment he heard that distinctive pronunciation with its many tense consonants, Karel was taken aback and approached Sasya. He stroked the thin back of the boy, who flinched just from him standing close, and sat him down on the sofa.c2bdb1b0869055f5

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“Why are you so scared?”109fee236d66bfd2

“Because you had a scary expression.”6b56271ad594db8b

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“I wasn’t angry.”789f124d4f3de643

“Yes, you were! Karel was angry. You were angry at Levin…”922e45b57967c214

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Karel let b89ab59c11 out a 7e8f51e35a brief sigh 5d541774a3 and sat 007c4fe23f down beside cd4af6e198 Sasya.04fb9cccdaa3fc44

After sitting lost in thought for a moment with his arms resting on his knees, leaning forward, he finally sat back deeply enough to rest against the sofa’s backrest. As the sofa sank under Karel’s weight, naturally, the lighter Sasya’s body slid and rolled toward Karel.eaf41200060c643a

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“Ah…”3c811cdc3cc449aa

“Come here. Stop crying and lean on me.”05e71203bfab386f

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“Hic…”543c3410168a22c4

“It wasn’t my intention to seem cold.”0dc45cc33069dc3f

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As soon as Karel c55c5c4fc9 wrapped an arm around 29ccca6c5d his shoulders, Sasya cried 78708fa285 even harder, contrary to 379125542e the instruction not to 0ecf3125f7 cry. Of course, Karel, 75adc35b79 expecting as much, cfb567d94c didn’t reprimand him f3254f01f9 further.dd68b92877f9acf6

“I’m sorry if I made you feel hurt. My life is complicated, and I tend to get overwhelmed by trivial matters.”0e344275ceca9d16

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“Your life is… complicated?”369289472f809f79

“Yes. I should’ve explained sooner… my private life is somewhat exposed, so I’m very sensitive about others invading my personal space.”9519c8f110a17238

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Sasya didn’t exactly understand Karel’s words. All he wanted to know was whether he had crossed a sensitive boundary or not. Whether he had become burdensome or not…3d076131fc066df4

Karel sighed and stroked Sasya’s hair. Sasya’s neck jerked backward before returning to position.5d819bcb72f9c603

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“It’s my fault. I trusted too much when you said you didn’t have friends.”2f267301020c8fc1

“I don’t have friends…”b5d87ee281d21675

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“What about Levin Laurent?”8ab111b0a00858a2

“Levin’s like a sister. Like a real sister to me.”3f038733c414b5ab

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Sasya felt Karel’s hand regularly patting his shoulder as he leaned against Karel’s chest. Cautiously glancing up at him, he saw that Karel’s expression had finally returned to the one he knew – warm and gentle.8c9957c275ba8ab6

“Levin is really like a mom. I wish she were my real sister.”1b2ef41d43cc9ff8

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“You always try to make people part of your family, don’t you? You asked me to be your older brother too.”66f88897a7c1bd10

Karel said this 902f8ad52c with a slight 108deccc24 smile.33e7a91454bd090b

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Sasya, who had cef023f4c2 been staring up fa70512342 at him, began 987e35c275 to speak haltingly. It was about how ab4597ae85 he and Levin first 4763b1cbdf met.49c7e20be8e6c50c

Sasya first saw Levin 2b416d11ef on the subway. At that time, 695be0279e Sasya had been 581be09466 in New York 6eebde18fe for just over c67d2a162b 6 months and 549df0b162 was very exhausted a342a19f3f from the grueling aa3fbcf9f4 practice schedule, language 4688c45966 difficulties, and the d54cc20518 loneliness of living 220becc77d apart from his 770b3432ad mother for the f418a53289 first time.a5f447af78801074

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That’s when Sasya’s eyes fell on a sandy-haired college student sitting opposite him, reading a book. She was holding a thick book, and on the top edge of its pages was written ‘LEVIN’ in black letters.5f510f2cdecff8a2

As if entranced, 0e718ad964 Sasya approached the 1f6666e76f college student and b19e198b8c said,0546b198b0ea2adf

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‘This is my brother’s book?’8af0d238a687835c

Levin, the student with the textbook, initially didn’t even notice that Sasya had spoken to her, but then smiled at the black-haired boy who was staring down at her. Then she returned to her book as if nothing had happened.2e622b3c9d146e12

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Sasya spoke 19f0c50e5b again, louder,438d412c776a5bad

‘This is my brother’s book.’a20dbfb67e3206be

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At the sharp 41a6e4e0d6 voice, Levin looked 4dd8e8b0a0 up again.ef0b1d0c808fbc2c

‘Is your brother’s name Levin?’b2e7646b39c75451

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‘Yes… Why do you have it?’32479400c21739d3

‘Because I’m called Levin too.’a402b0b3c716a946

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But even with this logical explanation, Sasya stubbornly insisted it was his brother’s book. Seeing this and thinking something was strange, Levin got off the subway with Sasya. Sasya continued to obsessively ask if she knew his brother too, until he quickly drained a milkshake at the franchise restaurant Levin had led him to.5fe165ecc3ba64ac

Seeing how fast d8b263c115 Sasya ate, Levin 237c8c6078 asked, slightly surprised,cb7dfc35594bbdcf

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‘Are you still hungry?’55538c2a28eb23b7

‘A little…’1c8b1717f5efd5b4

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Right after that, Levin bought Sasya a hamburger too. Only after he was full and calm did Sasya realize how strange his behavior toward a stranger had been, and he became very embarrassed. He apologized repeatedly, saying he didn’t understand why he had acted that way, that maybe he had mold growing in his brain.0913062fe2348fbc

And only much later 828b826db7 did he finally accept 9461212dea that the sandy-haired Levin fd5124ec21 in front of him e322a00e2d was also Levin.a0332278f0bb536b

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‘Is your brother in college too?’1705472bdff5721b

Sasya nodded at Levin’s question.bd86e16d57be2504

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‘Yes… No. I don’t know well.’b4474f33534e8d94

‘You don’t know?’6d7c39009db6c2be

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‘My brother left home when I was ten. He probably went to study. He was always smart.’25984bd64e6d9815

‘Ah, I see…’ead9d70c136feba4

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Levin, who had gotten Sasya’s phone number that day, often called him afterward to buy him delicious food. After learning that Sasya was a scholarship student at the ballet school, she praised him saying it was really amazing and didn’t hold back her emotional support. All of Sasya’s few connections in Manhattan were gained through Levin. She was truly a grateful person.26e56394307f9c87

And unlike Julian, 78c2815cfa the reason Levin cfdafec4c3 was always generous d1a06b62dd to Sasya was 0e0e270d8a because she still 43016b60fb remembered the mentally 1c95f2269c unstable behavior Sasya f463174998 had shown during 1d92e20794 his first meeting.72b9d581a6a49612

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After briefly finishing 793da67fde that story, Sasya 057f1bd549 murmured to Karel,34c097b7d29b1c34

“Everyone named Levin is kind.”5972163a551d99fa

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“…”17b6953ff3bf1a71

“Sometimes I act weird because, as Dad said, there might be mold growing in my brain. Usually, people ignore me when I’m like that, but Levin never found me annoying. She listened to me kindly.”8ba880aac67b1948

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“I see.”6b873ed7c9ce3ae2

“So please don’t be mad at Levin. Be nice to her…”07a4b2f05fcd1ee8

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Karel said nothing more 3f6f8e2099 and just quietly patted 688c1fe94d Sasya in his arms.a08ee61acd9deff6

“Did you watch Sasya Shchedrin’s video together?”4b56419e2dd9ee29

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“Yes. Levin said she couldn’t find it online.”bb36f750e32c8c1d

“…That film is indeed unreleased.”15ec7f572034e849

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“Why do you have it?”54f9e00a192154ce

“I have a lot of materials about Sasya Shchedrin. I was planning to… colorize the film and re-edit it in a modern style to make Sasya Shchedrin widely known to the current generation.”e707fa24e5e41186

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“Why?”790e9a8e297ce091

Sasya asked with d14576d6bc somehow anxious feelings.0b2b6b536d3453d8

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Until now, 5011a026c8 Sasya had 2f65fe7304 met countless b07924b59e people who b372d0035a were reminded 79785a4a59 of the 12916887ca legendary Sasya 03cb52e185 Shchedrin through 804f67113b him. It was the 2d7833bfaf same with Karel, 95183343ff and Sasya thought 86f5ecab4a that was inevitable.6f2596b11cd9c076

However, what if there dd7f64477a was more meaning to e0f07e713e Karel considering him special 89dbb66528 than just the halo a32e294a9f of a celebrity?cc80ad759ed20280

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“Hmm… How should I explain this.”7937680e9e67d315

After a slight ea2327ae68 pause, Karel said d0d76f252e dryly,be8dcd818d1a70f5

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“My grandfather was Sasya Shchedrin’s adopted son.”b66855f686fc9307

“Wow!”07814ce634b3f477

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Sasya genuinely marveled 09fd0eceed at this unexpected 6e6d889b09 connection. Karel smiled slightly, seeming 8b52ce1f62 to find Sasya cute df90b438a9 as he exclaimed with 992b2105bf his nose still red, 47dd95b93d having forgotten his tears.7344e37f0852e69e

“The restoration project was a selfish desire of mine. There was no need for such work, as he left behind an immense artistic legacy.”ba23b93e6b98a125

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“Yeah..”2eb23e7c1067a108

Sasya thought he somewhat understood what Karel meant. While Sasya Shchedrin was indeed a legend in the dance world, ordinary people didn’t really grasp how great he was and just consumed him as a famous icon. Perhaps Karel had tried to achieve what the artistic director always proclaimed as ‘popularization of ballet’ through Sasya Shchedrin.986368111842b5f1

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“But… after finishing the editing, I couldn’t decide whether I should release it to the public or not.”9b975d7cbb2a271e

“Why?”f087e4aabbdcc3ef

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“Well…”0e507989c79ab2c3

Karel just smiled.562e847426b42805

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“Why…?”f60527989275401c

Sasya persisted in asking. Seeing Sasya tugging on b84a1c708e Karel’s shirtfront and shaking 71176da805 it repeatedly, Karel seemed 5a38210e0b to think he had 086bca1c38 no choice but to c0735288a6 confess, and said briefly,527771c9a2976b5e

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“I just wanted to keep it for myself.”27a46b7d5cc372cc

His voice 6766e6a330 trailed off 6b5c6b39ec ambiguously. Sasya stared at Karel, bcb0ff4d1d unable to decipher his db0d6689d1 intentions.f13422a7e6029f0a

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“In any case, so that’s what happened with Levin. I didn’t know.”d31d88ae2e0d07e8

“…”a16050b94681561e

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“What about last year?”d16f6203cb6757d3

“Last year?”0c1aa8c1c28d9d56

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“When you first arrived in New York. That first year.”52579a56f761b8c6

Although Sasya felt that aee2807144 Karel was forcibly changing 4589d599e5 the subject, he fell d2b575b74c into deep thought.a78380118b4d274f

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One year since first meeting Karel at the foundation’s party and receiving his business card.3ea7911148bc0d79

Sasya could 4d8cd133c4 define last 0337b14dce year in 86a794c332 one word.2848ae46d48b01fe

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“I was lonely.”3fdb5ba35e6d5f04

“…Are you still lonely?”4d325b888ce4b62d

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“No.”a76abd5db264ef04

“That’s good.”8890bc6072b1d44a

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Having cried expecting to be scolded, and now leaning against Karel’s warm embrace, sleepiness suddenly overcame him. And Karel seemed to notice this even before Sasya himself did.37def6c2d8bc1fd9

Karel, who had been holding Sasya somewhat awkwardly as the boy leaned his full weight against him, carefully slipped his arms under Sasya’s back and knees and lifted him up.e8c83042d04af677

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As his 5671782bd8 body was c775564dc8 suddenly lifted 857305872f and his 1e4b63e467 vision swayed, 45e77f21f3 Sasya deliberately b02c6c43ef opened his 0bc9bdfaf5 eyes wide. He had noticed Karel 7ff35a639b trying to put him 4b53c1f776 to bed and was 12606a1bc3 trying to stay awake d5aa6b564c in response.22b2e1e99d6f1d36

“But… Did you know about me even last year? You didn’t forget after the party, right?”112e8839cb207f95

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“Of course. I knew there was a very talented boy among the students I was providing scholarships to.”5a6629ff489a9e22

Sasya softly exclaimed ‘Wow…’ at Karel’s words.a7971b19edb0c62d

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“Then did you come to see me sometimes?”d72ed8754e6a841d

Sasya’s heart 7802d9342c was pounding 8d2cdd99cf so hard 0041dc954d that Karel, 2adf55095a who was 930b650080 carrying him, 5f2826191a might have 6078db7195 felt it. Without showing any reaction, 6657c82af8 Karel gently laid Sasya df13e588f5 down on the bed.85513d9e4f8900b8

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“Very occasionally.”cdac007ca7b81b70

“Wow…”37976f2aed36af70

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Sasya’s heart warmed at the fact that while he had been alone last year, he actually hadn’t been alone. He had always hoped that his sponsor would recognize him. Even if not him, just anyone…a47eb66663360558

And although he hadn’t noticed, Karel had always been watching over him.b69e9d11cae5d6f6

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Just before falling 2a8dd2a811 asleep, Sasya slurred e74757769c a question with 4764dd4ae8 unclear pronunciation:ab328162a6fead58

“But why did you leave me alone?”9f7e3c2d32b1b887

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Through his 542e5f0596 drowsy haze, 10981549e1 Sasya saw 1fc90ade45 Karel’s deep da21cbd72e eyes gazing db0f9b5806 at him. Unfortunately, he 6d2a83fa99 drifted off 53806f4a23 before hearing 73ac72f6e9 an answer.c4b88882644df4de

5de23132daee621e

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