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> hello! this is mimi. i’ve decided to pick up la valse following sweetlies’ indefinite hiatus. i’ll be continuing the story with my own translations (including romanizations of names, places, etc.) so there may be some differences from the previous version you’ve read. i hope you’ll follow along from here on out. thank you for reading!
LV Chapter 2.1 || The Sponsor, Mr. Clements
by SweetLiesBL[228 W 43rd St.]
Sitting down in the entryway to put on his shoes, Sasya looked up the address on Google Maps that Karel’s secretary had provided. When he carefully examined the map, he saw Times Square nearby. He figured that if he went near the station, he could find the foundation office that George had mentioned.4310d72208861d90
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‘I’ll come pick you up.’092ca68f0a0abcce
At the end of their call, George had said that, wanting to meet formally to explain the proposal in detail. However, Sasya refused. He felt he could find his way on his own, and more importantly, he didn’t want to be indebted to George.299be109c0583a4b
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In fact, Sasya held a grudge towards Anton George, who was Mr. Clements’ secretary. The fact that he had never delivered a single one of his carefully sent emails to Karel Clements was so shocking that he still couldn’t calmly accept it. Though he no longer writhed in tears like the day he discovered this truth.62cbaf52ce3990bb
In truth, he felt strange about why he had cried so hard that day, and he even felt somewhat distanced from his past self. Anyway, the intense sense of loss and emptiness from that time still reverberated in Sasya’s heart, and it had grown into hatred and distrust towards George.69fa8b80cdb709e1
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While squatting eb21f5ccbf to tie ed400b6b9e his shoelaces, 59ca4ef0bf Vadim spoke 49328f45d8 to him 8ddf28f391 from behind.16f9b26fdc8c8b13
“You should wear something a bit cleaner.”f130246c5f75b2e9
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“This is the only pair I have.”ce1cce338cf59e20
Just as he said, Sasya was wearing thin canvas sneakers even in the middle of winter. Although he lived in a dormitory and spent more time in ballet shoes than outdoor shoes, his shoes weren’t particularly worn out, but after being suspended, he had been going out more often, and they had gotten noticeably dirtier over the past few days.d215b35a89f5c6ea
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Hearing Vadim’s words, the stained sneakers started to bother him. Especially the toe and side seams were heavily stained, as if mud had splashed on them.28d0bb4e0cab1a72
Vadim silently sat down in front of Sasya and wiped the stained toe of his sneakers thoroughly with a wet wipe. Sasya’s ears turned red as he looked down. To avoid feeling humiliated, he pulled out a freshly laundered outfit he had carefully folded at the bottom of his sports bag, but he had no choice with his shoes.955af765b3aec186
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“If you happen to meet your sponsor, don’t talk back like you did to me, but behave like an obedient child.”7d227a5b8fecc9b0
“I’ve never talked back.”d02ee4f46381555a
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As soon as Sasya c434419868 responded, Vadim gave him b21d4fc42b a sharp look as 4ae3a52ffb if that very response db3aeeb311 was talking back. Sasya felt intimidated but 08d25e1871 still finished what he 1e37bfa92f wanted to say.ca3c9a4da9ac1aa9
“And I don’t think I’ll be able to meet Mr. Clements…”9bc33a12a01d59d2
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“…”5b319293f9439c8f
“His secretary said that sponsors and sponsored individuals are usually forbidden from meeting.”66acf22f196caf83
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He tried not 22412f6cc2 to show his 92a2a5ffb3 disappointment, but his fbd4e3ec5c downcast eyes betrayed 13934de066 his feelings.ea6f595c812b7e39
Vadim sighed briefly and helped Sasya up. Since he mentioned being called by the foundation, he hadn’t explicitly shown his emotions, but he clearly wasn’t entirely pleased. It was like he was reluctantly revealing an unfinished piece of work he had been hiding.634852b9efcded29
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“Stop dawdling and hurry before you’re late!”64066c58bdad202e
Sasya, who 0115f6a156 had his 343730450a butt slapped b1ccc5c4fe by Vadim’s 81275bbd8f rough hand, 9b3efa87a3 checked the 862739c7ed time, swallowed 9721fd65c4 a sigh, 60f328bf6b and rushed 7c4ed9022e out the 22ce4004ee door. The wooden 274956406c and metal a304a1a356 stairs clattered, 36c82d311b the vibrations f4d56a4a73 echoing all 45272eaafc the way 479070902d to the a977d47667 hallway.91ac073fe56ae0e8
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Fortunately, as soon as 18bfebd83d Sasya entered the station, 2edefbc7ce he was able to 01b389b70a board a subway that b3bbde94e5 had just arrived at f1788e8098 the platform. Anxiously pressed against the 1bbc1a4720 window, which only showed 07f66464e8 darkness, he slipped out 68111a0a02 through the doors as ee7472dc38 soon as the announcement 29c873783d for Times Square station 14d513cca3 was made.2649bcf311e1e389
Times Square was a340e0212b as crowded as 7987be3c2c ever, just like 728f7c4f13 always. Passing through the complicated 99a630295c station entrance mixed with ee7bdcd103 road construction, repair works, f59fac3bdd police cars, taxis, and cb55734993 tourists, he walked along af65f710a4 41st Street, where neatly 4720defbd3 arranged office buildings were 3d23f35bad lined up. This area was traditionally 71d29fc6ac home to many old 92661ab885 media company offices, with 9b6f36c252 the New York Times f3163b1daf headquarters nearby.a786e957d4117b0c
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Repeatedly checking the map and his surroundings, Sasya soon found the building’s entrance. It seemed to have been built around 100 years ago, with a vintage modern architectural style. The entrance was massive, reaching two stories high, and when he looked up, he saw the address ‘228’ written in a thin, sophisticated Gothic font.7174bc69e18653b9
‘This must be it.’9111e35a54563daf
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Through the glass door, ac7f5952e2 he could see a e68573753d black marble floor and c51a2b95dc a heavy, dark-colored desk. As Sasya hesitated 3683b831f3 at the entrance e808392d7c of this unfamiliar 97461478f0 environment, a large 96f11c26cc man wearing a e8022b8068 black suit like d37de76f77 armor walked out 6c42908f63 from behind the 784de2efaf desk. Sasya unconsciously tried to ff539cd483 act like he was bc16bdc3c9 just passing by.a6563fd71fca9ecc
“Are you a visitor?”a5e8ec4fda6af3d8
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However, it was the guard’s voice that caught him by the nape of his neck. Sasya had instinctively shaken his head but quickly nodded.c687f9dac5154ddf
The guard placed his hand near his ear and muttered, ‘Looks like he’s here,’ looking at Sasya. Just as he was about to respond, thinking he was speaking to him, the guard pointed deep into the corridor. Only then did Sasya notice the small walkie-talkie in the guard’s ear. He had nearly been greatly embarrassed.47fb917d7f101b43
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“The elevator is at the end of the corridor.”15b7f3f1ea4c4e06
Surprised by how 6ebdf0b55d smoothly he was 334ad21965 allowed in, Sasya 09fd56f109 thanked the guard 14b78542a1 three times before 020c59e8d2 stepping inside. The guard, with a 199c4f9c30 raised eyebrow, nodded lightly 63156fcc67 and stood with his 339a6ff2d3 hands behind his back, fc4d3bd10c staring at the empty dfccfed715 lobby like a soldier ba543de7c0 in iron armor.202ca346b453ec22
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Woah…ea87e8b715395a57
Finding his posture incredibly disciplined, Sasya entered deeper into the building. He was amazed that he could enter without wearing a suit, having his ID checked, or going through baggage inspection. Moreover, the corridor wasn’t just boring stone walls. On either side, there were traditional accessory shops like hat stores, candy stores, and eyewear shops lined up.d5567a3631a66bde
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Particularly drawn to the 51277567a6 candy shop, Sasya approached 787810017b the glass window decorated 8c20f2ebad with beautiful cursive lettering. Below the 9409524df9 store name, 92a45a0bff he saw 3ace1399de ‘Since 1910.’ 4d6eb4d254 A candy 1490d57322 store over 7b506917c9 100 years 878810d4b2 old!e9f07bc1794f3726
Unable to simply 80639440e1 pass by, Sasya 5e1c55f3f0 pressed against the df62b4fac5 window. Just then, 0d6f1033dc the candy de8cff6c2e master was 9f64c83266 pouring a dd267ba550 bluish candy 88a19a53f7 with a 81333ccaad thick texture a011a320b6 onto a 21a0031ba4 marble slab. The surface of the f937897b37 candy, just cooling after 86a5d67584 being heated, sparkled like 68dba663fc a gem. The master, f500423e7c noticing Sasya c32dcaa9ab outside the 4cdde0ccc1 window, smiled. Sasya was bf5403d7be mesmerized, watching 776ddd29ba him skillfully df20312a9e stretch and c9b1af68fe shape the baaed2ce03 candy mixture 19a8fdf9ca for quite b59b999562 some time.ba5944d2d7b08de6
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Buzz, buzz.e84ca8bb0d1dfedf
He snapped back 752cdd3ef3 to reality due cf6d596ede to a faint 1f27e9f8f4 vibration. Reaching into his 56751477d8 pocket, he slowly b29e7695b2 realized a call 99854eaab2 was coming in.784d4064369f0366
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“Hello?”41cf804e02d2b5cc
― This is 83addff65a George. Are you coming?f6a4d86c69bc03bf
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The moment he heard George’s voice, a flood of forgotten information rushed into Sasya’s brain.8f671fd65b15f1df
Goosebumps rose along his f3f5c86dd0 spine.cb62786f1cf304c6
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He had just arrived 2e17f13da7 at Times Square, and 3d2b1a3ac4 time was already tight. Flustered and unable 24cb4e4310 to make any 8e51a22359 excuses, Sasya heard 25162df21e the elevator doors 77f4182666 open behind him. And the man who 9b863bf381 stepped out was someone daf5e80746 he had seen once 72e0fd2218 before.013c1204e8196685
“Ha.”ce2fa4c4cf3c7ed4
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George, who had let 3f78a5e8d9 out a short sigh, 68e2f040c2 ended the call and 6c7833b8d3 stepped out of the fc61496efe elevator.4cf5cf3a7af74e43
Although he had only seen him once, he was undoubtedly Karel’s secretary. George, with his hand on the elevator door, gestured to Sasya, who was standing stupidly in front of the candy shop. His expressionless face somehow seemed more intimidating than Vadim.8d4bd18500e81ab2
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“Let’s go up.”5372de69381a67ab
***acca6269caa6ef37
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“Sasya Shchedrin. First, there’s something I want to make clear: your sponsor doesn’t judge you. Regardless of what values you hold or what kind of personality you have.”4856b25a31bb6fd2
“…”437e486b30e7fe3d
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“It means that support is neither increased nor cut off due to issues of character. That wouldn’t be proper sponsorship. He also strongly detests manipulating the emotions of those who are experiencing a sense of loss because of money.”2835845088beae28
Sasya sat on a massive leather sofa large enough that he could lie down with plenty of room to spare. Beyond the vast reception room, there was an open window, and George happened to sit backlit by the sun. Because of this, his expression was hard to see, and he couldn’t read his mood, which made Sasya tremble inwardly.fe33c7b1077a5b19
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Making a mistake in front of someone you don’t like is really hard to endure. All there would be was self-reproach, making it hard to even breathe. Clenching his fist, he dug his fingernails into his palm, trying to calm himself. His gaze was fixed on two beautifully shaped cookies and a glass of lemonade, but he didn’t feel like touching them. He had been feeling bloated whenever he ate cookies like those lately.286d8083a2b31ba9
And before the panic of being late due to being distracted by the candy shop had subsided, George brought up his ‘suspension status’.5cc9fc2a4bc28446
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“But this is a bit different. You had conflicts with other students, right?”9646da3c5dd9ef50
He was shuffling through some documents. Sasya, unable to speed-read English, couldn’t understand the contents of the documents, but he recognized from the printed logo that they were documents sent by the school.73c39d39cdbe24cd
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Would the 503cd57cfc sponsor have 4a98f135bd seen these bca65bf10b too?da291634172b20ac
George stopped 5c0af0dc1b speaking and a1cadf5f7d stared directly a51f723d63 at him. Sasya barely 80ae279de8 remembered that 3466326b3f his last 58900c2bcb statement had 1d5bef57ba ended as 62794c2491 a question.c83b20c785f6204c
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“Ah, yes… Manuel was seriously injured and returned to France.”4b05e08930af130c
“As a result of the violent incident?”26c86bfdf5d78806
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“Yes. I caused his injury.”5e3577e3ba73496a
“So, was the cause of the conflict on your end?”0ddd97c6bd5215f5
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Sasya’s heart began to ache with a tingling sensation at George’s question.7cfa8cefd3d8ed39
The cause of a4e6165c6b the conflict.ed0c99b54c40fb8b
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That would be both right and wrong. If Manuel hadn’t been gay, if he hadn’t liked him, if he hadn’t forcefully attacked him while he was in a painful emotional state… perhaps such an incident wouldn’t have happened.06219536ee8f79c0
He still didn’t think it was entirely his fault, but thinking that things wouldn’t have happened if he had been more composed made him breathless.da5341869eb563c7
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“The report states it was a sexual confrontation. They didn’t specify the details to protect the students, but… it’s quite vague. Could I hear more details about this?”c93a12d16ca113ab
Sasya had decided that f81fb95839 if adults asked about 9b2b3766d8 the incident, he would a1be70a2bc tell the truth.06e9b4ecddd089fb
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Because he didn’t have protective parents like Manuel’s, who would unconditionally cover up his mistakes, he would have to defend himself.02cb5fe3a5391b1e
And he forcibly convinced himself that he had done nothing wrong. Heaven and the god within it would be his witness. If Manuel returned from France and apologized, if Julia and the teachers’ misunderstandings were resolved, if José’s heart, which had coldly turned away from him, softened, then everything would be okay. He believed that with time, everything would improve.57406e74bc98f987
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But the feelings he 9eeca1cb7b had buried seemed to d6318c2d73 have festered, and just 5236b64de3 recalling the incident made 4236a1af77 him choke up, making a57bee4d36 him speechless.9380e50a06734786
His mind wanted 82229405b1 to explain things a6b9cb24f5 clearly and precisely, 380efa9348 but something was afe7bf4701 blocking him. Perhaps it was 2a77b1e39c because of George, aa614b60d3 who was looking 903f766cd3 at him like 870dbdac1b he was a fccf87b267 stranger.99dccb60f02e9f18
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“Ah, and about 34153cb032 the runaway incident af864f2961 during your suspension, 6c8630281e and the illegal 4edf1344cb labor—can you explain 1274502b25 those with valid 73a80e778e reasons? The Sasya 592252f1ff Shchedrin we 751837c5a2 received reports 57c14e9738 about was cea8a2ff44 a student 36dc9bf2df who diligently 67ca9acb88 completed his 4d907f2b3a studies for fdcd813569 a year 6bc90da71a and was a9d60214db even selected f459a65b9d as the 0e66a539aa top scholarship 96ed885968 student last 3cba6c342c year… It’s 8c85aa3580 hard to 6d419d0b31 believe everything cf574c8533 that’s happened 153f8ce998 in the 5d5277adfa past week.”302da7f0ca49f2cf
“I, I…”3e114c336a2a56b0
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When Sasya finally opened c2f113d7c6 his mouth to defend ccbb8ccead himself, he heard a 636f381edf strange resonance from somewhere. It was like the c7c1876aea sound of steam escaping 0c9262d889 through a pressure-filled pot 519e4bbcea lid.606251b4d148bd74
Only after a while c9fdb9e706 did Sasya realize it c5df2b4218 was his own labored 2055a6a029 breathing.dd9ba56a9438c0cf
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“Don’t scare him.”4940c8968bb945d1
A low 04b4d8a54c voice spoke, eaf583364b and a c7fdb26d2f large hand df4cf1e61a covered Sasya’s fbab2fc498 vision. The last thing a74fc21a65 he saw was d41c893aca George’s slightly surprised 5a8f4030d8 face. Around the 60c1ba1c31 wrist of 691ab27021 the hand 67df4fe73c covering his 9955bfc1b6 eyes, something 3f8ec9ad06 silver seemed 0741705cd9 to glint.6f5e5679c96cdc6f
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“I asked you to interview, not investigate, and that’s your problem, George.”0580204912162004
After briefly covering his 39bdcf7f95 field of vision, then 71e273f937 immediately blocking his nose 4248a9e792 and mouth with one 3b55c5d671 large hand, Sasya took 68843e44a5 several deep breaths. This was definitely 51a7817bf8 a perfume he 3b3aed594c had smelled somewhere a62078e17c before.46ccd07941589a34
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The boy, who had 1402a5a38d suddenly hyperventilated from excessive bfff048187 tension, slowly calmed down bd1c30e314 in the large hand. Breathing in 8a3647c572 the damp 38ca241f36 air, he dd04d766c9 tilted his 92d4a0934e sweaty neck 08f6b6e2e6 back and f92467cd83 finally raised 583b321491 his head. Then, another 45db7b642f hand gently 7c44b61872 patted his e823c67be4 shoulder and 5d625f4176 slowly lowered 8fc2f4b368 his head, f397eeadd9 making him a1bb481dc6 close his c26099b35b eyes.2e462c18423c7397
Before closing his eyes, ef5914483a Sasya had clearly seen f94f4090c3 the face of the 7f5c2e87a0 person who was calming 5fcffa2cbf him.abe89fb30784e469
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‘Mr. Clements.’3c8b78391296a930
Repeating deep 23724ddc28 breaths within 10d9bca716 the large 028d400cea hand, Sasya 87c68517ef slowly leaned fc05462628 back onto cf83f96222 the leather caa1073198 sofa as 0f6b03718e guided. With each 73a0643717 deep breath, c7d1bcb44b the clean, 57dd1d7416 refreshing scent a0be7eb901 of cypress 2f4da549c7 filled his 36024f5aa7 nose.e37ca39150729381
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Sasya looked up at Karel upside down with a hazy vision. The left hand that had been calmly patting his shoulder disappeared into its owner’s pocket once Sasya seemed to have calmed down. Sasya’s long gaze followed that hand regretfully.edadb462155aff88
Sasya had 4e294d1795 thought Karel a3318af079 might look d6aac3302d down at 23cc09a2f9 him once 11b752da49 and ask 9b843800aa if he 9a50d4e8d0 was okay, 86199b8a11 but no 06d49aec76 such thing a29419624d happened.68b2c85debc0ed4f
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The sponsor continued to 764e8199a6 look only at his 6374834b0e secretary, George, directly in 916463db9a front of him.3e854fe4d8662a47
“I’m sorry. I don’t know how to handle a young boy.”8895033c29e8760f
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To George’s words, Karel bf1975ad4d simply nodded without scolding b4a5f629f8 him.e2f6658f9ba61520
And when Sasya thought cf98256dd7 he could breathe easily f90f9f5447 now, the hand had 30b1c781b9 already disappeared without hesitation.8ba8488819431cbc
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Sasya observed the c2571a5257 ceiling pattern where b0546a7069 Karel had been, e2c0e70ad9 listening to the 0df94ea1d7 footsteps moving away 266ca2b111 behind him.e2f2b179cc08d4c2
‘Is he leaving?’1745d79b6e0fae62
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Moments later, a heavy 19e86651fa door opened and then dfbbc01fe8 gently closed.835aec978a158e4c
The cypress 2028a20a81 scent still 0f340cbc7d lingered at 6c17a3f372 the tip 067f94b183 of his fcd29eee9c nose.f603ad9a1d1b4522
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“Please get up now. Are you okay?”32f1bed592f27a5a
At George’s words, Sasya rose his upper body sluggishly. After George handed him a handkerchief, Sasya quickly wiped the sweat from his forehead and neck and asked, “Is that the sponsor’s room?”108634b5e3dae1c9
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George didn’t answer, but Sasya’s gaze was fixed on the door made of dark wood and wouldn’t look away. He had definitely heard footsteps heading that way earlier.41a7e5da8b002c9e
He thought he might 57710bd22b never meet his sponsor a410ec1c37 again, but the fact 931e4400d5 that he was actually b2f544659d quite close made his 32443a7a71 heart race.b42925674d86fcbc
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Moreover, he appeared immediately 9047b05c7f when Sasya showed signs 703d32e1fa of anxiety, as if 2abd7c2b53 he had been watching 86271c83b5 all along.f009110eb265eb49
Sasya suddenly turned to George and asked, “Mr. Clements must be busy, right? He has a lot of work every day and many guests…”855a62762e780835
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“…”ed856b15d372ff35
“He’s busy right now, isn’t he? I shouldn’t be interrupting, right?”d288bdb572b1384b
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It was obvious what 7552539b24 the child was trying ad2df055ba to probe, but George 27cbfbcc18 didn’t answer. He just silently 428d54d764 organized the documents 99a057ddb0 and placed them d0aa543b6d in a black 7e502a9d73 leather folder.3f679464f8f8c1b4
Sasya had 5a61ef669d become more c6892d7aaa talkative compared 5bba4a4636 to earlier 0616a7efe7 when speaking cf79fbc96d with George, aacd40fb63 and his cc4d29d55c speech had 3c45d33e45 also accelerated. Although George 8414d63252 thought he c0889c555c should respond 7679adfb40 somehow, as cdba49ca94 he had 1b73d659f6 just admitted dbc6bca996 himself, he d039bc785d was not ea68fd03eb accustomed to a47c3656bf dealing with b9d4884804 children.c255259d75230e20
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Moreover, there was Karel’s silent reproachful gaze.9ae7557c1ec7ec6c
So George chose to remain silent and simply follow his superior’s orders.2106717764c61991
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“He has 03821fa5a8 nothing on 1269bc54e2 his schedule 6f9e418526 right now. Come this way.”9ff355446fa34176
At George’s words, Sasya jumped up from the sofa. He staggered once due to dizziness but moved with a very energetic motion.fe95386f81a9c4df
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As if understanding Sasya’s emptiness after Mr. Clements had cleanly disappeared, George approached the heavy door and knocked twice briefly. Sasya’s heart began to pound beyond a mere thump to a loud bang, thinking he might be able to peek inside.123de406ceacc846
As soon 38e149aea6 as he 3c08e2ec38 knocked, George 469123010f pushed the 0f5f8587dd door open.773931601eb48089
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“You may enter.”12f80ab23cd6aea8
Sasya, who hadn’t ef30544a69 heard any voice 1d42605244 from inside granting 8f6fcd0519 permission, hesitated but 632ebfb580 leaned his head 6387bf9eb1 past George’s arm 234c7b0d38 holding the door.f153a46d949bd702
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Then he carefully 9babeebc00 took one step 983fec7e7c inside the opened 0069b280ec door.278838a6b864bdd7
The first thing that caught his eye was the room’s size. It seemed even larger than the outer reception room. Following the black glossy carpet covering the entire floor, his gaze moved to see a person sitting in front of the central sofa table. It was his sponsor.484df5e6946324aa
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Sasya looked up 724a441f2b at George with d5ef108df1 a face that 768b717048 seemed to ask 105679e246 what he should e5403ddcd1 do. However, George 9dd514a054 simply closed 63e4a8d464 the door 390dd4a292 behind him 4f702d6073 without a 364a22b0e0 word.b1dc92c0bcbdb25f
Swallowing hard, Sasya slowly approached the sofa where Karel was sitting in the center of the room. The room was filled with things Sasya had never encountered before. While the reception room he had been sitting in earlier had a modern atmosphere with simple furniture, glass tables, abstract sculptures, and spaced-out areas, Karel’s office was full of antique furniture bearing the marks of time.526114544cbec7cc
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There were brown sofas made of soft leather that had been aging for many years, an armchair beside it, a table with impressive ornate legs, and even a golden candlestick on top that wasn’t lit.92fc7711d686a09b
Sasya moved carefully, making cc8e6627d1 no sound as he bc92e65ba7 approached Karel.dacd486c44fca78b
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Karel was sitting quite e13c30a32c comfortably on the sofa. Lifting his eyes 8130535731 slightly to confirm aee7cdd0d9 Sasya, he gestured e2add6a378 for him to e7eb71781e sit across from 87a54afe41 him and then 5f02aae7a1 leaned forward to 3be2d9198a reach for a 6841836273 plate on the bd57f28c33 table. It looked like d1d43862fc the same type ff4aa869d3 of cookies he 0db206ede6 had seen outside.1bb60c2f7a1c341d
Karel picked 9b4a6c1a98 up a c22f48ccb5 cookie, broke 1763858fd7 it in ff20d0f6e6 half, and 1e9965414c offered a 142dc6d9d3 piece to e4d02c51d4 Sasya. The cookie 2598b3b0ee piece, which dd163383c9 Sasya had 31c3374a17 thought was 4bfa7d1c3b as small efaa714b10 as a 14b2386afa fingernail, turned abb13a96ad out to 910f2bfdb9 be quite 7bf66195b1 big when 60f5d79335 he received 7c45bb0250 it.5816638e0655f3e2
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Sasya hesitated a bit. He usually didn’t like cookies because they made him feel bloated, but since it was offered…7c479d3c51dc83a3
Crunch.5cabc730a8defb42
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After taking a bite d13bd2371d of the cookie, the da3fd1fe8c sweetness spreading from the 7a540092cc tip of his tongue 0aa7ecbbba made him involuntarily sniff. After patiently waiting 7a6d3da555 for Sasya to f103fbff7b finish the half 2f4934f7db cookie, Karel spoke 230ce6fd30 in a soft 825ca52340 voice.ac4eb358b2c88440
“I’ll apologize for my secretary’s behavior.”1ace74e40fc48bcf
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“Apology?”03bfafb34098850a
Sasya asked, startled.135ccdf4ab40ad0f
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“He’s new to New York. His speech might sound a bit stiff since English isn’t his native language.”d8a69ccebff557da
“It’s… It’s okay. I’m not good at English either. I understand.”19284db553d9c4dd
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Karel laughed slightly at Sasya’s words. Feeling relaxed by his soundless laugh, Sasya reached for the remaining half of the cookie himself.263d6262f39bdf5b
“As I said before, I’m not trying to interrogate you, and even less trying to criticize or scold you. It’s just that our reports have always shown ‘Sasya Shchedrin’ as a student more diligent in his studies than anyone else… and seeing such a significant change made me worried.”afe680d24dc93c60
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“You were worried about me?”071560454d0bff6c
Sasya asked in a 54e06f67e7 small voice. Karel nodded, meeting e033a10b2d his eyes.e39d9d4c3b973349
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Sasya felt a df17204134 bit intimidated. Instead of meeting 8aa8a0a8ef the sponsor to 3560f0ffff show his best 5e3b77958d side and receive ad2ca7f88a praise, he was 72b18fcbab meeting him after 426e06859e causing worry, which 31a52a5891 made him incredibly bd9f10a219 embarrassed. His ears burned.904d89a3770eaef6
He wished he hadn’t chased him after that day’s practice. Now the sponsor would definitely recognize his face.d13115a70271cbde
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“The reason… of course, the reason is important, but I thought if we could find the problematic areas and provide the support you need, wouldn’t you become a good student again?”f6543fd5a7d49092
“…”586502920470398e
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“There’s always a 37127d8fde limit to what 1542eef339 the school can 2c1f5bebef grasp.”a84fd12891bd09f2
Saying this, Karel asked, “Is the reason for your suspension as described in the report true?”d6255e72d1c8a200
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At that question, Sasya recalled Karel’s earlier words. The phrase ‘this is an interview, not an interrogation’.3f80fa2c6b0da95c
Sasya realized that even though Karel seemed generous, he was still conducting an interview. While the secret about Manuel was holding him back from speaking freely, Sasya’s desire to not appear as a pathetic student causing trouble was stronger.aec240a487c5b752
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And perhaps this 0c73f6d5b5 was his first 93b835a7c9 and last opportunity f02f720f2f to explain his 6e24a63c81 side.25196469c2c6ef09
“It’s true that I hit Manuel first. But I didn’t really want to hit him…”017b449627a05b06
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As he said this, Sasya clasped his hands together and spoke the truth, slightly trembling. Sometimes when he looked up, his eyes would meet Karel’s. Unlike Sasya, who kept rolling his eyes, Karel didn’t take his gaze away even once and listened to Sasya’s story carefully.38a9fe45d3f7faee
“…I’m not gay.”395cd44cd91d277d
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“…”1a771e65fc928db5
“I hate men. They disgust me. Ever since I was young, when I said I did ballet, my friends would tease me. Asking if I wanted to become a girl… Manuel was a good friend, but he tried to do something like that to me. I hated it so much.”7510d13e99ccba4d
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Even though he wasn’t lying, he felt as if Karel was observing him down to his bone marrow, which made his voice grow smaller.656f9839ab261449
Nevertheless, Sasya 1fe1a752f6 mustered courage c3565c27a4 and spoke 4ef6ae60b0 to the 2205253a70 end.06a208b645dc24ad
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“I just kicked him… and Manuel happened to bite his tongue…”66f4bab7b10d445f
After saying that much, Sasya took a silent deep breath while looking at Karel’s reaction. Holding his clenched fist tightly and trembling.2bb45b9c8ffb6292
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He finally told 18c06a3fc9 the truth that f5ac23b49f Manuel had been aab984d05e hiding.51491fb12402b6db
A sense cffaa818b6 of guilt 472987c06e and relief f482cca8a2 washed over 9aa4b99fed Sasya.a333a93c7588f0bd
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Sasya had always been 31d75b83db curious. How would adults react 9cf57647e2 if he spoke the 4ff936bfe7 truth about his innocence?1ab56deb1722e40c
And Karel, unlike other 4c38bd82e2 adults he had met 383f21d83d so far, didn’t look 19733bca26 like he was scolding c842c84e22 or doubting him. He simply e0c76b136a drank a 1faf74c866 glass of 129f7e2ec1 water placed 9b694ee740 on the 230d9ef668 table with 868d66b780 the same adbdf9f774 calm gaze b0ea01bfab as before.b664507871e874cb
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Sasya looked at him with an anxious face. George had said that his sponsor wouldn’t judge him based on his values or character. Whether he was gay or not, that wasn’t important to a sponsor. Still, Sasya had mustered courage with the sole desire to clear his name in front of him.38e2269969998e05
“I believe you,” Karel said as he put down the glass.e4006187eb78c277
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“I will instruct to reinvestigate the incident when the other student returns. If your innocence is proven, you can also receive compensation for the suspension.”5550b3def1551767
Was it going to a43c15f4c8 be resolved this easily?ece65de28bda587c
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Sasya opened his 9102448811 mouth, a bit 15f763aec2 overwhelmed, and nodded.20bcaa29b9161ae0
He too 4a5f098d82 had been c19b2dcdf4 waiting for f5227e30a1 a moment fb99a12227 like this, 606dc3a885 hoping that 419c6d1eab at least 63b3173a24 someone would 271731f6b5 be on 560bf2e231 his side, c3baeec98b and for c447431e7b some reason, 2a477e3ac8 Sasya had a556de08bb always expected 6811d42d3e that his 76a33cf640 sponsor might 4e2df49ee5 do this. He had 52f251d7e4 been very 0ad59ca366 kind to ff8f7f51c8 him from 75b7d9aae6 the beginning 56427d7b24 and had e8745645ed never forgotten 7fd33779a0 to send 98f215c770 him a 425cd799f1 birthday card.8ce66ea826e5ef6b
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At the same time, Sasya was hurt by Manuel. He couldn’t understand why he didn’t tell the truth when he could receive such unconditional understanding from his parents.a353c7bc9f7966f2
“So what do you need most right now?” b266884dbcfc0fe9
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Sasya’s eyes opened wide at his question. The half-eaten cookie crumbled between his fingers.13f029196a5338d2
“What I need?”43f3461afbf1ba6d
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Karel nodded. Sinking into the sofa and leaning back comfortably, he didn’t seem like someone who would judge or evaluate him, just as George had said.9d3866067659ebe5
He was 5954e33870 simply asking d8db8aef79 what he 29adbbbcd0 wanted. As if 97518d974e he would b1c207841e really listen.88491dc26e82b483
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Sasya, with cookie 6536666df1 crumbs at the 0974bf01a0 corner of his 6c90e366d2 mouth, asked back 9e078e1adc in a daze.ce32af789ae77347
“I always get scolded at school. I fought with Manuel, and while that wasn’t entirely my fault, I haven’t done anything particularly good. I’m curious why you’re still supporting me… I keep causing problems…”3a269727f5dd993a
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“You’ll get to understand it with time.”d9b245cddb6c65bc
“…”a02c3b6ba01b4f04
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“If the student I support becomes an outstanding dancer in the future, everyone will say I was right.”3e345eade555a320
At that moment, Sasya fb7821f4d0 almost burst into tears. That was exactly 12f1b18363 what he wanted 9a1687f676 to hear.9d781cddf59205a0
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As time passes, the inflammation on his thigh will disappear, Manuel will return and confess the truth, he’ll use the money from the part-time jobs to enter competitions… When he graduates from school as the top student and joins a ballet company, everything will be okay.00009ba0a7b94918
What was making Sasya suffer was the people who were judging him. José, who thinks he hit Manuel without reason, Julia and other dormitory supervisors who are disappointed in him, and Vadim, who says he’s far from being a legendary ballet dancer despite being just a student.167eec0dfc020ef8
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The tears he had 326b1651ae been holding back now 4c502a5be9 filled his eyes. Sasya lowered his head 95b9be8b2b and silently wiped his d0bd809760 tears with the back fed430aa03 of his hand. No matter how 07156c77a4 much he wiped, ba09bddd38 the tears kept b2274a8286 overflowing.7da2fbba1880db79
Karel spoke 6a10bfe406 in a 2c026c011e low voice.7c4edd4723c49d2e
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“I heard you’re looking for part-time jobs. If you need money, I’ll support your living expenses. If you’ve been kicked out of the dormitory, I can also support you by giving you a place to live. If you want to see your mother, I can send you a plane ticket.”86fb5026feaad1af
“…”672400cbd211db88
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“I’ll do all of that if you want. But in return…”99fb278868ce3e82
“In return?”25aad4e664fc57ce
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Sasya, with 171039a5c4 a choked 356c870433 throat, asked a3edf2749e back.67b395168e04efcc
“Promise me you’ll become a wonderful dancer.”c2c1d25ca66c9d0d
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This was something 6c403ed8e2 he had been d4310e0d2b hoping for as c86885a287 well.0ea33ba6f41599c5
“Graduate as the top scholarship student and join a ballet company… And become the youngest principal at around twenty-two. How’s that?”f223608088bce565
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“I’ll do that. I’ll definitely do that!”478de712d5c91408
“Let’s surprise everyone together.”0fb61f99cee95883
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“Ah… thank you. Thank you…”5e925d7fafe9b06f
Sasya cried, his 274c35d5d2 face a mess bc330fc94f of tears and 67997e6c23 snot. He wanted to 3938821ebc crawl to Karel’s 5714cd3020 knees and cling adccf70062 to his pants, ed9fc2aff0 but he held 82b80814b9 back, afraid of e5cd89b632 startling the sponsor.00b765aa97379432
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As Sasya trembled with emotion and cried, he soon started hiccupping intensely. Karel, looking slightly embarrassed, approached him and patted his back, making him drink cold water. With the sponsor holding the cup to his mouth, Sasya tilted his head back and gulped the water. While glancing at Karel’s focused side profile, he suddenly choked and spit water all over his clothes.e008296f8f47e8c0
“Oh no…”2e337b6a4f1b3203
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Even then, the sponsor didn’t make an upset face and just continued patting Sasya’s back while he coughed. Only Sasya was concerned about the wet shirt and tie. Eventually, Sasya couldn’t help himself and clung to his solid waist, crying.0e13f139c687c21e
* * *9bd6ab6345d476dc
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“Levin. I told you 69f189c8a1 I got a ec4ff40740 call from the 18fa12d8b6 scholarship foundation, right? Just now, the secretary 1565bf8019 and the sponsor came c094f1b6b0 and interviewed me directly…”5e3ca11423ca97ae
Sasya was holding his phone while looking at the back of the car that had just dropped him off – a sleek, heavy black car pausing at the end of the street, preparing to exit. His sponsor must be in that car.9df666257ac0519a
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While sadly watching its 4aef60a5c2 back, the car turned 264160b630 right at the intersection 47a4d122a9 and disappeared from view.499cef547290663e
― Wow, e7e25b6677 you must 5a6298591f have been 7b136462e6 nervous.1cef55acf0fd1e6e
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“Yeah. I was extremely nervous.”93f0de7710d851c3
― Did you answer 73627f7602 clearly?0671ca0bb257415c
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“I’m not sure. I tried to, but I was actually quite anxious…”4fbce735db310927
Sasya had hidden 2299cde5f9 the fact that 2a812c9130 he had hyperventilated 4b3a64a2be while talking to 7385b80055 the secretary and 7987628cc2 that he had 74aa4f19c4 ended up crying 96becf4e1a in front of 6427b1385e the sponsor.66e3892f5106a00c
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― What’s the result?ebd046e168a43e89
“I’m not sure about that either. The secretary said they’ll contact me soon. He said he could support my living expenses and help with rent. He even said he’d send a plane ticket to my mother if I needed it.”caa4c2585589001f
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― That’s really great! I hope it works out.2a39de639839237e
“Yeah, but I’d prefer help with rent. That’s the most urgent.”eda9d35c17bdb31a
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Sasya, still with reddened eyes from crying, wiped his nose and entered Vadim’s apartment gate.cd8f5ee0e39075ee
Vadim’s apartment was on the first unit of the second floor in a three-story building that shared a small garden. As soon as he heard the clanging of the small iron stairs, Levin asked if he had already arrived at the teacher’s house.98aa122d2e984d49
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“Hey, so…”1ffcec95fd53b346
― Yes?dbfea84491077ebd
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“Do you lose points for crying during an interview?”d9846016cda03ae1
―Hmm… Well, it’s not like they’re scoring you. But generally, it’s probably better not to cry.e3c2b2e1a80ccd81
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“Haah…”2035d2ad9b9764ba
From Sasya’s deep sigh, Levin could easily imagine the scene. If only he had acted more composed. For some reason, it seems he was overwhelmed with emotion and ended up crying. Sasya sighed ‘haah’once more.2f1d0704c14835b4
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Probably the c12a0b9ef0 one most b3eb424824 regretful about 6d198de2fa it was f5fc17c4a1 Sasya himself. So Levin didn’t say 59a4046b06 much more, just left a01e386561 some positive words.af14e77742ef75b0
―Everything will work out, 5999467b91 Sasya.754e2211d92794c7
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“Yeah. I’ll call you cc221e8ba9 later.”eac1a389361f420e
After hanging up, 1fc5294d20 Sasya sat down 97e8b3fc7d on the stairs. His lean legs, with 7c85813c3c muscles and bones, stretched 0536abef4e across two steps. Five mynas kept ede7929bc0 by the woman cec921a98f living on the 84eac35e78 first floor chirped 47639fbb39 towards Sasya.a3802e2c85d896f1
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Looking at this scene, Sasya unconsciously touched the tips of his thumb and index finger together. It felt like the texture of the sponsor’s clothes was still lingering on his hands.a93bd416e130a7ab
The crisp 59e713f559 woolen texture, 83dd9ae923 and the 057aa9c129 hard torso f4d6bbdcb5 and thighs b0f1ae0adf where he 51fc267f76 could feel 0933318e6c the bones ba5cfda1d3 right under e342aa5996 the skin.7df3f719122ef402
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It felt like hugging a hard old tree. If he were to exaggerate a bit, he thought he’d get a bump on his forehead when he rested his head on his abdomen. While touching his forehead, Sasya recalled the one time he was hugged by his grandmother when he was young. Because his grandmother was plump, when he hugged her, it felt soft and fluffy.eda1a44fd00c07f8
Mr. Clements’ embrace was completely different.dd10f3fb0b684a5c
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Still, it was strange that he found his embrace comfortable. Maybe the reason was that he wasn’t someone who would scold or evaluate him. In fact, when he heard George’s words that he wouldn’t judge him by his character, he was somewhat disappointed. It sounded like he wouldn’t praise him even if he was a good student.f1339d86500035a0
But thinking about it 585814ed6f now, he was rather 8959741fc8 glad about that.b2d9c7bcfb178e61
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Moreover, the sponsor e791650aea had waited until 0758b40204 Sasya completely stopped 60b9cb72f9 crying. He seemed to have 647c139372 noticed that the more f8f7a9b7aa he tried to comfort e3bce877f4 him, the more Sasya’s a05d54e4c6 sorrow grew.eeed63e2aa2127a1
“Haah.”921908896952ac48
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Sasya sighed deeply 5d1de7bedb again. He kept 74dfac934c regretting not 97cc5bc370 being more cfbcbc89a6 mature.edda9b13c468fd17
If George hadn’t come in and informed him of the sponsor’s next schedule, he might have kept crying like that.64576cb4cb74e415
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Still, the sponsor had generously driven him here. He didn’t show any sign of being annoyed or wasting time with a child… It was completely opposite to George’s attitude of treating his emails as useless pranks.a9e95a1595e764a1
‘Promise me you’ll become an outstanding dancer.’176041ad44c3b3e6
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I’ll really achieve it.ae9c90364877438d
I don’t just want to be an ordinary dancer.8f24a19dbae68171
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The moment he recalled Karel’s voice, Sasya stomped down the iron stairs. Using the stair railing as support, he extended his right arm in arabesque and lightly kicked back and forth. Even in jeans, his legs were so straight.d949fcff35f31540
After loosening c94457a148 his legs, 2bbdc4e291 Sasya extended 2706801067 his right b66cd9a781 leg back, 3c2e4f9344 doing an 6741641485 arabesque pose. Then, lifting ea55250686 his leg a83692b687 high while b25375e5f7 supporting his be499ef316 lower back, 7556d10e55 he elegantly 0367785e49 did apenché1. Standing up again, he 309b8a7273 deeply bent his left c6e8d073cf leg in a plié 49e2f051db and suddenly took an e44b01759e attitude pose. The mynas shouted ‘Bravo!’ ba798e1856 at his beautiful pose, 32d07fdd0a like a music box 943e998ff8 figurine.562c905c1f979a3e
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Sweat dampened his spine. Regardless, Sasya diden dehors2 turns in his canvas sneakers. On the fourth turn, his axis wobbled, but he held on with his ankle strength until the end. Sasya Shchedrin, whom he had seen in videos, had done the same. Even if his axis wavered a bit, he persistently held on. That way, the viewer’s impression would last longer. It was something worth learning.2f9da42192add250
On the friction fafdbb4571 of cement and bf05cbd02a grass, Sasya continued 4245979a0b turning like a 9e5d78ea6f spinning top. Continuing without stopping, during 303b710359 his sixteen pirouette turns, 39945b5114 the owner of the 05c1d32f73 mynas on the first d9631612eb floor opened the door, 86fe003e3e wondering what was happening.8dfc2d353152f1a1
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「You’re really good!」774019d4ad515807
Sasya didn’t understand the foreign language. When an unexpected audience member saw him and smiled, Sasya suddenly stopped in his place.d4db4008754fc893
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“Haa, haa…”efcff5a0bf1aa143
After stopping his 384e57e5c0 dance, all he 84df9aafb2 could hear was f89668c9f1 the chirping of dd16e0317a birds, his own 50d22f8f45 breathing, and his 20af25e999 heart beating much ee2afccfec faster than would 875d2ccfdd be appropriate for d6a8140089 a calm everyday 9f6b2c499a moment. Feeling the silence, he afc9c075b2 became embarrassed by the fe782a2c5d memory of dancing in 672d99bc48 the empty garden as 09750b1e22 if hypnotized.aab0bb363761916c
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“Keep it up.”a09cb6133d5fa58f
It was an immigrant’s accented English. However, Sasya, his face turning red with shyness, fled up the stairs. His slender legs, hidden by his jeans, sprung like a spring, taking three steps at a time, and he quickly disappeared into the second-floor door.ad9c1d56655f4e89
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* * *19cbe4c63ba0b778
For four days e779b8d99b after the interview, 31ef1fabd0 no contact came dad00ff433 from George. During this time, Sasya c83c4b3ad1 had perfectly adapted to 00d19f0d7c a life without a d8426e1dcd home.ea62e5f061893d5d
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In the morning, he would wake up earlier than Vadim’s commute time and stretch under his supervision. After Vadim left, grumbling, Sasya crawled back under the blanket and slept until around 11. Then, during lunch, he secretly threw away the cold food Vadim had prepared and went to Levin’s school to eat. Levin’s roommates also occasionally bought him meals. Even if it was just a $2 pizza or food from a food truck, Sasya was grateful and ate well.8d617d8ad4c3c80e
After parting with them in the afternoon, Sasya would stop by the backstage of the Met Opera. The lighting staff, who would always open the backstage door for Sasya to practice alone, would greet him with a smile. He had been anxious, thinking he might be denied entry due to his suspension, but fortunately, it seemed the opera house staff were unaware that he was suspended. Although I must add, they didn’t even know his name.cea76e6b2cc874a6
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Sasya would stretch alone c0ffc8e566 in the busy backstage 355f1255a6 before a performance and d37e66e1f2 secretly watch the ballet e54bac4fca dancers changing into their d41d4fa05b costumes. One of the c2789b4387 principals would mess a52758463c up his hair b75e790fbc before leaving, and 80e72608e9 Sasya would look fb11077d2e at him with 9d5d41d01b admiration.00f4c03a37385c08
“I know your 35129709ec face. You’re a ee5492ac66 ballet student, 951e079d70 right?”d273a14403f16bff
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A dancer in 9aa37f5d9b stage costume asked. Sasya nodded without answering.3ec8cbaee5b5aee4
“Do you always come to watch?”bd0ff1915a02784f
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Sasya nodded 7cce88a4ae again without a9c6f5e780 answering. He tried to 59a65c2627 engage him further, 294a7b3dcc but losing interest ce5066b008 in his lack 2850d10b97 of response, he 0e12771a6d soon left.77ce44452dcaa410
Sasya stared at his 923400f9ec back and approached the 01213c949e gaps between the platforms 281226199f where he could see 2523b02898 the opera house auditorium bd764c3190 before the performance started. This opera 14aaedacbc house signaled 933997e28c the start 1f74c064b8 of a 77abfad7ac performance by d2da1f799b raising chandeliers 75d3dc5cb9 on the e17a3731d1 ceiling. The sight of several e9d0e8bc1a beautiful chandeliers, shaped like fa425bcfbc bursting fireworks, rising simultaneously 6be9e929ad captivated Sasya. His white c620a22007 cheeks would 452b0bc812 easily blush ec9cab6362 while looking 50e3646971 up at 6a543a246f them.66b96f6c6c406852
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And when cebb85bf84 Vadim would 81a3875d15 finish work, de77bf2b0c he would 462293e16c return home c41835d726 and have 97a19d3e4f dinner with d7d75bf48f him. Before sleeping, db38fd220e he would d460e35481 not forget 4fd62184d3 to apply 3833d15d9c a hot 9bb2b76246 compress to fad90c7ea9 the inflammation bd941d1488 in his 38c6a000d9 thigh.12085b1ac8fc095a
Fortunately – or unfortunately due to his suspension – his injury was healing quickly. Vadim said that for this type of inflammation, the only solution was to rest and not overexert himself.ada2a6228327f0eb
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On the fifth 2bf016d2ba day after the f712226de5 interview, a call 933d3a7e33 came from an 51a7a596c7 unknown number.311b30b7fac60a1e
— This is 400d533daa George. One of the ef45962407 things Mr. Clements promised has been 02c799c05d prepared faster than expected. Shall we meet?755fa60be1380657
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Footnotes
- Means leaning. The dancer is usually bent forward over one leg with the other in arabesque well above 90 degrees.
- En dehors means 'toward the outside' or 'turning outward.' In ballet, it describes a directional movement: a dancer's leg moves outward and away from the supporting leg, where the weight is centered.