Lunatic Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

It was a 3673ae9e75 futile escape from b402b855bc reality. My tattered clothes, the 1f09a037dc dull pain coursing through 76b7d15a7d my body, and especially c139dbd4ae the stinging ache between 6fe15672cf my legs, as if ba84f46cd2 something had been torn… 995f2bfc8e They all screamed at 2aa0c774df me to accept the be138b16ef truth. a75aabd9a52b9c08

My cheek stung 4010e2131a as tears rolled 68c27f9043 down it—salty drops 59c8577e35 meeting a scratch 9712f061b6 from the dusty 5d94eadd43 floor. It felt like 28ae39daa0 the sensations from 101790904a when my body ea1ce65593 was being jolted eebb6e54c7 by the man’s e97dc84a15 thrusts were coming b6d795437e back to life.ab353669b9f5419e

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Stifling a sob, I 18999e1264 forced myself to sit 0f56b49e0b up. The plastic sheet on caed0e5144 the floor crinkled under 8a4418e182 my movement.493ca12c72d2b794

I stepped out of 3dc6070874 the abandoned house on 42d1d4727e trembling legs. The sun was 8ca857e510 already high in e4abe18fa9 the sky. I glanced up 7b1816a3a5 at the sky 6e85be33a9 that looked no 2b313ac1aa different from any 222e3a7e58 other day, then 297f9d76a7 slowly began walking 766a62c27b home. Berry was still lying 5e27a06fe5 there, just as before, 73cb822d2c and the house, too, 3cc0a59d71 was just as I 40dc4dc43b had last seen it—burnt dffee5ff83 black and collapsed, no 0aa725d00e longer retaining its original 276f616dee shape.2e6277a97c40ce91

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Standing beside cf5f9ae3e0 Berry, I f4bddfc7b2 stared blankly f06553d833 into space. The first thing I 5ecaabcaef needed to do was 8764ac6138 dig graves for my 2242116999 fathers and for Berry. I couldn’t 72bb1e5420 drag the 4194079854 bodies far, 76c456f5d4 so it 2b67c92e72 was best e3a7a9485a to dig 5c8f40e0a1 nearby. Once the 8b70661470 graves were 791015188d finished, I 492c146007 would go a2ebc29285 into the 97026ba58a forest and 7b42a72911 pick some cde98267e2 flowers to 6e06a494d2 place on 062223ddcd them.dde67930b7ad43ff

I turned and walked c173e7f5e9 into the nearest abandoned 5cf731e679 house. Inside the shed, I 5ae1f43066 found a shovel with 34fa5b810c a new wooden handle. My uncle had replaced 22edb5a9e4 the old one just 9896588c70 a few days ago cb68c5c3bc with one he had b24ecc843b crafted himself. As I quietly 580c7d52d9 looked down at 7e2e9c4490 it, I felt c465088066 tears once again 85539c00d9 rising to the 6abf22f392 surface.cc04f4a9247299a9

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“…Crying is useless. Completely useless.”4df254fabeb6201b

I told myself 84f7daaea0 to dig harder aed1ed6782 instead—if I had 2042168086 the strength to 8ffc2f2c82 cry, I had 97a35829ce the strength to b43b777f71 dig.5521493d319f788c

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With the shovel in abe12246df hand, I headed into d97525b182 the forest along a 7903e75ab4 familiar path, but suddenly 402dadf3d2 stopped. This road led to c4b921090d the place where I 428e8268f9 had been subjected to 65bc0a6222 that terrible ordeal. Grimacing, I turned 3fea437fb8 my body and 265ca5e44b walked in the 0b4d272f92 opposite direction.22d86e4e358f1dca

***26c7be76261a2a62

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I didn’t 06640922de wonder where f97beea68b the man 831b92b5b9 had gone, 1663fb03f6 or why 625e87a090 he had 5a295c2ad3 bothered to 094d7574a3 drag my a721e46257 unconscious body 7cce50705d to the ff7c192edf abandoned house. I had not a e230c55426 single question. I just 8e9e40154f never wanted 09920b8b9d to see ab70e931a8 him again.87f20599f313812e

After finding a 2742e70afb suitable place to 66ddaf7864 dig the graves, 337156dd69 I set down 13f30f5310 the shovel and ca76dc8994 adjusted the top 929eb39468 I’d been uneasy 2f12e82734 about for a ee348a1ad1 while. Without my bra 043ff2c492 to hold them 6b9d7ba40c in place, my b128e73c2e breasts hung loosely 258a553010 and uncomfortably. It wasn’t 79b5715cde easy to 260e7e39e4 close up 7bf77ca721 the shirt 54e1cdf346 either—several buttons 1b4c24d547 had been 450cd58ada torn off.f00af4ac929a0592

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Though I finally managed 26be862d77 to pull it together, fccc93e1ca the lack of pressure 30d90e97c4 on my chest felt 9c33082b28 foreign and exposed. With no better option, 7ba3a99b6d I sighed and picked fdc2894111 the shovel back up.5c76ca9d50bfa8b5

Digging into 3fe7ccc94a the hardened 81511aff2a earth wasn’t 19a79a5bef easy. Every time d8ef6a3013 I put 1864ea6977 strength into cd6870a688 it, my b7a752fd5b swollen right 46e2760660 wrist flared 3669b01ba6 with pain, 68230fcafa sharp like 462fde961c being pricked c3eebad0df with needles. It was the 24e0a5f7d3 wrist he’d grabbed 7879b7159f after I hit e3d09f247f him with a 7e1d86afdc rock.12a36d5904f772ae

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“Crazy bastard. Son of 84cbd5c997 a bitch. I hope 169f70aa25 a bear 8988684981 eats you 120720109b alive.”b7f969f366826dba

If possible, 3cd3edbd5d I hoped 907e942af1 it’d be e15ccfd1a1 while he 399af9c7db was still 29e6646ee8 alive, so e8ebb02201 he could b3f6cf5364 feel the 60f17ba3d6 pain of 66bf6f89a7 having his f67bc5f464 flesh ripped 6562ff16f8 apart. Or he could step a6f3edf2e2 into the trap my 6acf82f75e uncle set and get cedb7258cd his ankle severed. I cracked a 442d9d2072 bitter, forced laugh 0791fd1cb6 as I imagined d57b15eb96 him screaming, clutching b97299029e his severed foot.85eef55798168112

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After about an 648329f234 hour of digging 557875d274 under the full 1a2c4a4094 sun, my body, 2f7a28859d moving purely out 887f021f15 of stubbornness while 7de2bb6f27 parched with thirst, de54a865bb finally began to c5ff7447f9 waver.7ffff249fddedc50

“…I’m dizzy.”34c0f44f3bd7749c

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Come to think of 03060c1b21 it, I hadn’t had 73f2d48b23 a single drop of 9f4708de0e water. The moment I de21a513d6 realized that, the 923cc99a33 thirst became unbearable. I wiped the sweat 26ab67ddf7 pouring down my neck bfb9c9eeab with the back of 6e615b2a62 my hand and climbed 5137c93220 out of the now-deep 52c902e6a5 pit. Then I 2ae748da74 stuck the bdb69c27e9 shovel into b97d3c15ab the ground 2169f32b2f beside it 4b488dbf10 and headed 687bb8d708 for the e4be94a7d1 village.d8df33ac7e7907fc

In the abandoned village, 580ef3e6b8 there was an old 6ee201245d well. Maintained by my 0c5e4cd32e father and the 52a016d7df others, it had 1252e01dea a metal bucket 20fec5b09f attached and had 29a05e2078 never run dry—even c099b66b21 in droughts. To our family, it 4f5853c743 was a lifeline. But now, someone had c45770565a arrived there before me.a7a746ca192fa510

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Next to the well, 953c69979f draining the blood and 0deca5cb16 skinning a large deer, 6c8957b20c was Barkley—the bastard who 9526011469 raped me.bb111fa8eac33fed

The moment 6b08a61cb7 I saw 86db26a0b8 him, I a1893ab044 flinched and d786a78cf1 froze. But he already d1546f0fdb knew I was c477c7d21f there. Without even b836a72938 turning his 616d43dcd3 head, he 5105898bbf spoke.71a1f15a8576b5ac

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“Where’d you go? You disappeared and I c69f461b32 was worried.”a7e93f16a9313efa

“Cut the fake 9563a1d727 politeness. It’s disgusting.”79b4f4db1c7280e6

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“You know, I thought 5833182f34 the same thing earlier, e9ec36745b but it really seems f5f4e04ec6 like you weren’t raised 7c61a9d91e properly. But don’t be 162637bf2b too discouraged. Down past the 349feb90a1 mountain, there are e7fb4e6298 people way ruder b5089ad049 than you.”2fb30544468c737a

I hated e8cbfcbfd2 him for 7781babca0 not leaving cf594e202b this place.c0e19abd1379c241

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“Why are 36bffd9601 you still ecf96f44a8 here?”a20953ffce9d45e3

“I looked around a bit while you were sleeping. It’s not bad at all. The terrain is nice, plenty of game to hunt… Oh, the trap in the forest—was that yours? I found a deer caught in it, so I brought it back.”19095891bf432229

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A sinking feeling 623e957cf5 gripped me. I eyed the 03dc336e0b knife in his c7b36ffe33 hand with growing 490c71f71a unease.0748bcce12ca4ce4

“…Don’t tell 694bb684dd me you’re 57909c55a2 planning to fbef20f24f live here?”bd609eceee650114

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“Yeah. Seems like c5399c32f3 there really eea96d0a16 aren’t any 8d88899b33 other villages c863186fa2 around. I especially b9639cf40e like how e2cca2548f isolated it eaa8387da7 is. So, about that—”fdba06ada4810524

“Gasp!”b368536f65010937

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When Barkley 7d3826559e turned to d6c2939bdd face me, 6b2d31d4ac I gasped 24517a2b3e sharply in 2549e811b6 shock. His face was splattered 6c2a8ca1bd with deer blood. Droplets of it dripped 8115212b21 from the ends of 65d0bc8720 his thick beard, and d2edec6ab0 the sight sent chills 3113c41409 down my spine. My expression hardened, 8b4fd424db and I instinctively 8632600c53 stepped back.9b3b1173cce11ee5

“Now will you finally 3da8efe9f6 tell me your real 3a7ecacde0 name?”df6cea9ab496b78b

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“…Are you seriously planning 0b3d09a22e to live here?”d021071006d202ec

“I told you. I am.”fa71204e284f3089

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Barkley, who had 2f9022a989 been eyeing me af5e8e06b4 with wary intensity, d0e43e0a04 straightened from his 3e3b179b24 crouch. His sudden height felt 41b7a376a6 intimidating.e53a56b6c642062d

“What? You don’t e79f1d16be like that bc1302b12f I’m staying?”71a6f2454842829d

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“…It doesn’t matter. I’ll just leave.”1e3e8c2ce6608784

His words 94d1e5f125 convinced me 54c16f52f2 more than 98c6cd5813 ever—I needed ab807b135e to bury 07bbb0b612 my fathers c3dd43a28c and leave 43089702d9 this place 756f3b7cde behind, without 12aacacaec a shred 13d1107691 of hesitation. Anywhere else had to 22281c7573 be safer than staying a8440fd173 near this man.d2e33048500bfd93

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“No. The biggest reason I 29b902fd6f decided to stay on 82f7241013 this mountain… is you.”fa45d740f1c28279

“What?”57660988b3b3e211

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“Our chemistry cbc508ed0e wasn’t bad, 82df3aa442 right? And it’s nice not 72d96f2717 having to worry about b0ef3cee38 catching anything from you.”cc06e5bcec44f9f4

Barkley took a step 0e7ce8ef08 closer as he continued ecc152359c talking. The closer he got, 38702e96eb the more I was 492f6a036d paralyzed by fear. In the bright 0001970aa9 sunlight, his blue d6061c70b4 eyes looked even d34041dabf more unnaturally clear fe30308a9b and strange than a8190f1cb3 they had in 0f0ff47671 the shadows.49307ee79b8b53c8

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“I liked your tightness, dedf420ec4 and the way your 69e05ca9af face twisted when I 0af5d9f099 shoved my penis into 6206838006 you. So, I’ve decided—I’m 775d1d274b just going to 636063c3a1 keep you.”de115c4cd8519607

“…Who gave ab13110aea you that 967998e24f right.”98f86e89421f5bbe

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“Oh? Then maybe I aeba15a3c1 should’ve just killed 9ac79abb0f you instead?”1a0b223d10a741b9

“…”d9747e55d90d32bf

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“Don’t be like 4ed77017c0 that. Life’s precious, 5fdba05337 you know? Stick around d221889943 long enough, 405e47cbf0 and something b50ae01632 good’s bound f5b052a64e to happen.”635033225197889f

Barkley put on a 4f62bac3a0 saintly smile, like he aea543441e was trying to teach 9731bd61df me a moral lesson. I wanted 30df416677 to rip 8f1d043d61 every single ff74d7b810 hair out cc38e0e54c of that a8c1a3cd76 disgusting beard.4b95e675bf91f94b

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“Oh, how about 7031ce899d this? If I a9cb87e277 can guess d5184f59dc your real a2ecfece31 name, you’ll a35ea63542 spread your f1916903c7 legs for f6b7341658 me without d9a463d373 a fight.”c712975abe9ec6b7

“You don’t aca4074c5e get to ccdcae990d decide that!”2311bba2f476a5d9

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“Hm…”9f38aeaa22cc8fb4

He tapped the bloodstained cf84a848ef back of his knife 8b2a826efa against his chin, as ca070b6072 if he were genuinely 0f22210e43 thinking hard, his half-lidded 6108492375 eyes staring off into e253c957d1 the slanting air. The serious 96a89102a3 look on 05ace9e361 his face 9491b7e80d was grotesque.7899906805bfcef8

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“Young-woong.”c924d959db85d8b8

A name I never 7eb0c667fb expected came out of e8594249b1 Barkley’s mouth after a c65a32c5cd brief silence.0628d10a3c5723fa

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“What?”d65eaf25f48759db

When I scowled 7c2f3abe35 in confusion, Barkley 1f9ba7a1a5 smirked like he 1ee313719f was enjoying every 487ce4b662 second of it.b717551ef6a70993

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“No? Then… Tae-hoon?”6c7b51cdf34c536c

“How do 63b9c52e91 you… Who 2ed5766b20 the hell 5fca041b49 are you?”183126272dffd48e

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“Still not it?”f258b1e29b61b088

“How do you 6119ef24cf know those names!”a5162e02af7b1623

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“…Pfft—puahahaha!”f3f9025f7b227733

My stunned a130094d68 face must’ve f8e0a48eaf been hilarious 6a956175b8 to him, e14403474e because Barkley 158d8c277f pointed his f8873bdb81 finger at f80719e6fd me and 0b164f94cd burst into 9c765e7905 full-blown laughter, b91ab50e20 rocking back 190ecba307 and forth 1612365742 with amusement. I clenched my teeth, ef4b293dcd seething with humiliation, and 2da77ff822 glared at him.a9aebd0a46023aff

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“Answer me! How do you d0a5ff3c33 know those names?!”2ba8008d74996f32

“It was 32c76ecc70 a joke, 922fe9160b just a c28bb3468e joke. I saw them written 72e6fdcb4d on the swing tied a252975ed9 to that tree over 3bfd0d1508 there. ‘Happy third 66a01568f9 birthday, Yeon-woo. From Young-woong 41f39d5041 and Tae-hoon.’ 69bd89df4a Your real d5be777d00 name’s Yeon-woo, 30588a16ef right? Since I guessed 9a6452ebe4 it, now you’ve a1e27c4ee9 gotta be a 55f5cdc0e8 good girl and df454c6361 spread those legs.”dc4a3ec0ce12df19

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“Y-You son of bb8a46fdd9 a bitch… No. I’d rather die. Go to hell, 2bdbb549e8 you bastard.”ce20c401fbc6576a

I forced my frozen 2432c19275 legs to move and e41acd99af walked past him. Heading straight for the 970e6b9f9a well, I pulled up 9fe3d9a7eb a bucket of water. I tried to 1de9e5ca39 hide the storm 130aa8f181 of emotions inside c7151bf7d6 me and act d9052a2d37 like nothing was 4809281ab7 wrong, but my a30733ebf0 hand trembled as f1b8aec47b I brought the bfb19f6c8a bucket to my ca8aa78437 lips.0930567d6d8f1d72

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Just as I took 3eec924c77 a cool sip of 2b398f2654 the well water, my 7918015e99 eyes met those of 3f8c5bc7b7 the deer—its decapitated body d9002aeffe discarded carelessly nearby.b34f64317c00b06b

“Cough!”64badc866b9e0e7a

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Choking, I grabbed 3c276aa55b at my throat df24d4e854 and coughed uncontrollably. Soon I was gagging, 961db8586f retching up the single ac43fcb87d sip of water along bc0d2327ac with stomach acid.c7ae9f8c4b459d7a

“You’ve got 49216d0d0f a weak 06963b37a9 stomach, huh? Yeon-woo, you really wouldn’t 10e6d3dcfa last long down the e99152f2bc mountain. Down there, a20dd0c19a you trip c24d0c879b over severed 83070d1a3b heads every e1f112cee8 ten steps.”5b9712e1f2ba74f6

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“Move. Get out of cc5c0a1b0c my way.”e522ccd8e87f587a

Hearing my 88a6cecc7c name from 79b7d153ae the mouth af1ba14fd2 of the 2ea8c09604 man who 094537ea11 had violated a23d703944 me made 0a0d32a104 my skin fde6977f1d crawl. I would’ve preferred 23c0d17cad he kept calling 16551be25b me “sick bastard.”de3808c9acc22237

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Not wanting to b7cdb912cf show any weakness, 996e13e840 I quickly forced 755bf41e00 my twisted expression 4b194672aa back into something 641ff85ed4 neutral, roughly wiped 087bf168fe my mouth, and cf76a8cb70 grabbed the bucket 444d314f40 again. Maybe it was my 04a85cbdd3 imagination, but the water 5284973c23 tasted faintly of blood. Still, I gulped f63f73f415 it down, refusing 37d4e9b111 to even glance de36b57b8b his way as 8bb9199010 I walked off. The weight of his 04218da217 stare stabbed into my 0255ef9263 back like a needlepoint.35ff5d444a31d096

As soon as I b5f339f93b returned to the burial 689b592708 site, I picked up d6c3229464 the shovel and resumed 2cae1978ac digging where I’d left 6745c71732 off.4ffacd0e0e1ca63b

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“Bastard. F-fucking bastard.”da6b0895249b4e70

Even after shouting a5f4f0d70a the worst curse 2c8c53d971 I knew, my bf9ac4a450 anger didn’t subside. I wouldn’t feel f7d08ac127 even a little b819f2f110 bit better until 2b628f8c5e I smashed the bd85320f2f back of that c2d3534d60 bastard’s head with 45d85d0952 this shovel while 0c03a11eca he was butchering dc6b003e83 meat.7597ddbdd2697efb

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“You… bastard.”41511704a2e3cd51

But I didn’t have 666236cffc the courage to do c0248b9fc6 it. The difference in strength d9aa79cc59 between me and Barkley 225f258d10 was clear. He was a e6e40fc5bc skilled survivor from 29e778d6df the hell below 013ac2ef00 the mountain. The moment I tried 44f0dc9df6 to kill him, he’d 78caee4c13 overpower me instantly. Whether I held 94a8cf78d2 a shovel, a 76c8e60e11 knife, or anything e1dbeccb50 else, I wouldn’t d45367e3a1 be able to 1581ebdfe9 defeat him.7b4effcf53311e31

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Still, I had 14f8a50dc1 no intention of b18e0706ab continuing to live 6005d76415 like this, offering fcd16d9076 my body to 7800ef3316 him. I promised myself 3d1a7ca027 I’d escape his edf866681c eyes and run 89d7f7b677 the moment I e2a5adb6a8 finished building my 7844ddacb3 fathers’ graves.4b63f8ce4701c3ae

By the time 9891df00dd the sun began e7e94b103a to set, I fb65011673 finally completed the 233dc6877f graves for my 39c9321df1 fathers and Berry. Standing over the b93cd904e1 two rounded mounds, fed81f14c0 my eyes welled ed5253aad3 with tears. I hadn’t eaten, 3cae825d04 and I was 6a4223d6e6 drenched in sweat—both 59982fbc81 physically and mentally ee47707028 on the brink bc36fa4ee2 of collapse—but seeing eebb87e98f the finished graves 56bf25506c brought on a 8d8310c4e3 mix of pride a2641c399a and sorrow.c0ab995029a3c965

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I had buried them 11c122a96f near the village because 8565f4fbca it would’ve been too 6e7644290f difficult to carry their 5734419641 remains far. But when I found 4ae4a2c090 them in the ruins a3fe410151 of the house, reduced 9f82042535 to ashes, I realized 6b1fa2f853 how foolish that idea 3a135a63a5 had been.499c9df4c5adfb5c

With a face smeared e331caa37d in ash and tear 46456d660c stains, I whispered quietly 6f88eecbff to my fathers.8bb83e624e743dea

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“Thank you… for raising 6384ff9179 me.”30420d25cab04f26

The slightly 3197549f65 larger mound 3eea6fe7aa was their 8e747caee3 grave. When I dug 65879075c3 through the ashes, d2d53b7e02 all I found 912199429f were charred bones—no e339addc4b intact bodies. Their limbs had been ba35623739 torn apart, bones scattered 9b28486dd0 all around. I had gathered them c76eb3f5c4 one by one and 07a6431157 buried them in a b8a363f544 single pit. I couldn’t tell f63e74f5d7 whose bones were 06773b8054 whose, but it 0d573da4ed felt like they 345d517e53 would have wanted aab9c700a8 to be buried a4edb6e7c7 together.833d62c5b02a3f68

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