LMUC Ch 15

He was burning up. Even the worst colds he’d ever had couldn’t compare to this fever. And strangely, a sweet, unfamiliar scent lingered around him. He felt like he recognized it. He’d definitely smelled it somewhere. It was the same, yet different. …Whose was it? He wondered hazily.

‘Whose’…?

“Ugh…”

The moment he thought that, a stabbing pain shot through his eyes. Ashley groaned and covered his eyes with his hands. His whole body felt like it was on fire. The heat was unbearable, yet a languidness spread through him, making him unwilling to move even a finger. He could think of only one thing:

I need to release this heat somewhere.

Koi.

Ashley whispered his name between ragged breaths. Koi, Koi, Koi. His eyes continued to ache, his body burned, but Koi’s name kept repeating in his mind. I want to hold you, kiss you.

Ah, if I could just hold you and pour everything inside you.

A deep sigh mixed with a suppressed moan escaped his lips. He had never felt such an intense desire before. If Koi were here right now, he wouldn’t hesitate. He would tear off his clothes, lick and suck his skin, and mark him all over. Even if Koi cried, trembled in fear, and begged him to stop, he wouldn’t listen. You, you, you. Ashley chanted internally, his mind consumed by a single thought.

I will make you my omega.

“Ash…”

A familiar voice suddenly echoed in his mind. Ashley blinked, panting, still lying in bed.

He couldn’t tell if this was a dream or reality, if he was still trapped in his delirium. He remained motionless, and a moment later, the voice spoke again.

“Ash, it’s me. Koi.”

The moment he recognized the voice, Ashley’s mind went completely blank.

“Ash…”

Koi hesitantly entered the room. As with the rest of the mansion, the lights were off. Only the faint glow of the night seeped in through the windows. Stepping inside, Koi cautiously called his name.

“Um, sorry to bother you so suddenly. I called, but you didn’t answer…”

He spoke the words he had prepared, then hesitated and asked, “Are you feeling very sick? Another cold? I brought some soup and medicine, just in case…”

Koi paused, waiting for a response. Ashley remained silent. He hadn’t said a single word.

Maybe he’s angry with me.

Koi’s heart ached, but he couldn’t just turn back after coming this far. He took another step inside.

“Ash, um… is it okay if I come closer?”

He cautiously asked for permission, but again, there was no response. Koi slowly approached the bed, one step at a time.

Maybe he’s asleep, Koi thought. Ashley had been delirious with fever before, only waking up after Koi had made him soup.

He must be really ill.

Feeling a surge of sympathy and concern, Koi continued walking. A lump was visible under the blankets. Ashley was definitely lying there, covered up.

Koi planned to lift the blanket just a little, check Ashley’s face, and then decide whether to heat up the soup. But honestly, more than anything… he just desperately wanted to see his face. Koi took a deep breath and spoke.

“Ash…”

He whispered and gently grasped the edge of the sheet. Suddenly, an arm shot out from under the covers, and he was yanked onto the bed.

“…Ah!”

He cried out in surprise as he landed on the mattress. When Koi finally looked up, Ashley was on top of him, staring down, breathing heavily.

He suddenly remembered this happening before. Back then, Ashley had a cold, and Koi had come to check on him, worried.

But now, it was different. Ashley seemed delirious, his breathing ragged, Koi looking up at him—nothing had changed, yet there was this unsettling difference.

I’m scared.

Koi swallowed hard. He couldn’t move, as if frozen by Ashley’s gaze. He could only stare back.

Pant, pant.

Ashley’s harsh breathing filled the air. Koi’s eyes widened as he watched Ashley lean over him.

“Ah…!”

He involuntarily cried out as his wrists were seized and held tightly. Ashley’s grip was almost painful, as if he thought Koi would run away.

“A-Ash…”

He spoke in a trembling voice, wanting to reassure Ashley that he was there and wouldn’t leave. Just then, Ashley nuzzled his face against Koi’s chest and inhaled deeply.

It tickles…!

Wherever Ashley’s breath touched, a warmth spread through his skin. Koi tried to wriggle away, but with his wrists trapped, he couldn’t escape or push Ashley off.

Sniff, sniff. Rough breaths, like a dog sniffing, tickled his chest. Ashley’s fever was intense. Koi felt as if he was being burned by Ashley’s heat.

“Ash…”

He called Ashley’s name anxiously between his increasingly rapid breaths. Suddenly, Ashley grabbed his shirt with his teeth and yanked. The old, worn fabric ripped easily, exposing his pale skin.

Haah…

A hot breath escaped Ashley’s lips. What he craved was right in front of him. A yearning, as if he’d wanted this his entire life, consumed him. Unable to resist, he opened his mouth wide and bit down hard.

“Ah…!”

Koi moaned involuntarily and squeezed his eyes shut. But it didn’t stop there. Ashley continued, sucking hard on his skin. With each pull, a strange, unfamiliar feeling pulsed through Koi’s lower body, the sensitive flesh growing wet and slick in Ashley’s mouth.

“A-Ash… it hurts…”

Koi whimpered, but Ashley didn’t seem to hear. Instead, he bit down harder.

Koi gasped and tears welled up in his eyes. But Ashley didn’t stop; he continued to nip and gnaw at the sensitive skin, as if he would devour it whole. Koi trembled, fear coursing through him.

He felt something squirming beneath him. Ashley pressed down on it with his body, pinning Koi’s trapped wrists with his hands, keeping him immobile. This small, thin body was nothing. With just a little force, Koi was completely helpless, only able to cry.

Haah…

A long sigh, laced with a moan, escaped Ashley’s lips. The flesh in his mouth was so soft and fragrant. He could taste it forever and never tire of it. He closed his lips and nipped at the small, protruding nub with his teeth.

“Ah, it hurts, Ash, it hurts!”

A cry echoed from above. The bud, now swollen, was incredibly soft and sensitive. Koi bucked again, but it was useless, his legs kicking weakly in the air. The only part of him free was the part of his legs that extended beyond Ashley’s body.

“Huuuh…”

Koi finally started to cry openly, tears streaming down his face. Ashley finally lifted his head, pulling away from the chest he had been so fixated on. Koi looked at him, tears streaming down his face.

Ah.

An involuntary sigh escaped Ashley’s lips. Could there be a more pitiful and depraved sight? Seeing Koi cry like this only intensified the burning in his gut.

I have to have him now. I have to pour everything inside Koi. Over and over, until I overflow.Koi, you’re going to carry my child. Koi, get pregnant. Carry my child.

You’re mine.

“Ah, ah…”

He moved the hand that had been holding Koi’s wrist down to his inner thigh, spreading his legs wide open. A cry escaped Koi’s lips.

“A-Ash, wh-what are you—”

He couldn’t finish his sentence. He tried to push Ashley’s hand away with his newly freed hand, but it was no use.

“No, stop it!”

“Stop it!” Koi shouted desperately. But Ashley was just annoyed. He covered Koi’s yelling mouth with his hand.

Koi’s hands were finally free, but even with all his might, he couldn’t overcome Ashley’s single hand. Ignoring Koi’s struggles to remove the hand covering his mouth, Ashley unzipped his pants.

Koi continued to writhe beneath him. Ashley, with one hand still clamped over Koi’s mouth, reached down with the other and grabbed his hip.

I’m going to have Koi. Right here, right now.

Oh, how I’ve longed for this.

“…!”

Just as he positioned himself to enter Koi, their eyes met. Koi, his face streaked with tears, was desperately trying to pry Ashley’s hand away from his mouth.

Pant, pant.

Their breaths mingled. Ashley, panting, watched Koi’s futile efforts, his own face flushed. Another tear rolled down Koi’s cheek.

I’m scared.

Fear paralyzed him. He had never seen Ashley like this. Ashley was always gentle with him. He always said his name in a soft, kind voice.

<‘Koi.’>

Always, every time.

The gentle, silver-blue eyes that always looked at him with such warmth were gone. Now, only violet eyes, darkened as if consumed by a bottomless void, stared back at him.

This isn’t Ash.

Koi struggled against him, hitting his shoulder, thrashing his body. But he knew it was useless.

Then who is this?

“Hic, hic…”

He choked back a sob and grabbed Ashley’s wrists. Please, stop this… Come back to your senses.

Ash.

Suddenly, Koi heard Ashley’s laughter. The cheerful, clear laughter that always sounded so carefree.

<‘Koi.’>

The voice that called his name.

<‘Koi.’>

If he comes back to his senses…

Koi thought vaguely. If he remembers this…

How hurt he will be.

He knew Ashley. Or at least, he thought he did. Ashley would blame himself terribly. He would regret this moment forever.

The thought of Ashley’s anguished face made Koi’s strength give way. The hands that had been desperately trying to pry Ashley off hesitated, then moved to cup his face instead.

Ashley, panting, could only watch as Koi cupped his cheeks. Koi closed his eyes and wrapped his arms around Ashley’s neck.

As if everything was alright.

Ah.

It was as if a veil had been lifted from his eyes. Ashley’s eyes widened, and he looked again at the face beneath him.

Koi is crying.

Ashley’s vision cleared, and all his senses returned, sharper than ever. The small body writhing beneath him, and what he had been about to do.

I… Koi…

How could I…?

Ashley abruptly sat up and bit down hard on his own arm.

“Ash…!”

Koi screamed, his face pale. But Ashley didn’t stop. He bit down harder, tearing a chunk of flesh from his arm.

Blood welled up, staining the sheets crimson. Koi scrambled up and reached for him, but Ashley recoiled, yelling, “Stay back…!”

Koi flinched and froze at his harsh tone. Ashley, ignoring his bleeding arm, reached out to Koi with his other hand.

“Don’t come near me. Get out, now. You… shouldn’t be here.”

“Ash.”

Between ragged breaths, Koi said his name again. His eyes darted between Ashley’s face and his bleeding arm, his voice filled with desperation.

“We need to take care of your arm, please… It’s okay, Ash. I’m okay.”

“What do you mean, okay?! I was about to rape you!”

Ashley yelled again. Koi flinched, but he wasn’t afraid like before. He felt a pang of sympathy for Ashley, seeing how distressed he was.

“Ash, I told you it’s okay. But your arm… your arm is bleeding a lot. Please, let’s…”

“Do you really not understand what’s happening right now?” Ashley gritted his teeth, panting.

Koi hesitated, too overwhelmed to answer immediately. Seeing his hesitation, Ashley sighed in exasperation.

“Can’t you smell it? Even betas can smell pheromones.”

“Uh… huh?”

Pheromones?

Seeing Koi’s uncomprehending expression, Ashley finally blurted out, “I presented, Koi.”

Koi’s eyes widened. Ashley gave a self-deprecating laugh.

“Yes, that’s right. Do you understand now? If this continues, I might actually turn you into an omega. Get out, now.”

“Ash…”

“Get out!”

Ashley yelled again. His mind clouded, his vision blurred. He didn’t know how much longer he could maintain control. If he lost control again, he wouldn’t be able to stop himself. And then, then I, I…

I would really… Koi…

Suddenly, Koi pulled his knees up and hugged Ashley. Ashley gasped in surprise. Koi whispered from above, “It’s okay.”

He held Ashley’s head close and continued, “It’s okay, Ash. I’ll be fine. Because I, I…”

He bit his lower lip. He had to say it. He opened his mouth again, his voice trembling.

“I can’t smell.”

“…What?”

A bewildered sound escaped Ashley’s lips. He blinked rapidly, catching his breath. Koi continued, “I can’t smell anything. I can’t smell your pheromones, not at all…”

Koi carefully unwrapped his arms and leaned down, meeting Ashley’s gaze. Finally face to face, Koi hesitantly raised his hand. Ashley let Koi’s small hand, ridiculously tiny compared to his own, caress his cheek. He simply stared at Koi, who then said, “So it’s okay. I’ll stay by your side.”

He even managed a weak smile, but Ashley still couldn’t trust himself.

“…B-but I’ll lose control again.” He forced the words out, trying to remain calm, suppressing his ragged breaths. But Koi didn’t flinch.

“It’s okay.”

“I might rape you.”

“It’s okay.” Koi repeated, “I want to be by your side.”

“Haah…”

Ashley finally gave up. He rubbed his face with one hand and mumbled weakly, “Why won’t you leave…?”

He didn’t have the confidence to maintain control any longer. But he didn’t want to hurt Koi either. He felt trapped, caught in a dilemma. Then, Koi spoke.

“If I leave, you’ll be alone.”

Ashley froze. He slowly lowered the hand that had been covering his face and looked at Koi, his expression filled with disbelief. Koi gave a watery smile and hugged him tightly.

“Let’s stay together, Ash.”

Ashley couldn’t speak for a moment. He couldn’t even move. His mind was hazy, his mouth dry. Amidst the persistent thirst, he could feel only one thing—the warmth of the small body holding him. That was all he could comprehend.

He slowly raised his hands and carefully embraced Koi. As if in response, Koi hugged him tighter. At that moment, a lump formed in Ashley’s throat, and his vision blurred with tears. He slowly tightened his hold on Koi, pulling him closer with all his might. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. After several hesitant attempts, he finally confessed, “I like you, Koi.”

Tears overflowed and streamed down his face. Ashley closed his eyes and held Koi even tighter.

Ah, finally.

He thought, I’m not alone anymore.

This small being in his arms was his whole world. I will never, ever let you go, Ashley vowed repeatedly.

Koi, I like you.

I like you.

So…

Tears flowed again.

Please never leave me.

🏒

A cool breeze blew in through the window. Koi, who had dozed off next to Ashley in his bed, opened his eyes at the sound of a restless murmur. Ashley frowned in his sleep.

“…Koi?”

Koi quickly took his hand and replied, “I’m here, Ash.”

Ashley sighed in relief and drifted back to sleep. Koi, watching him breathe deeply, let out a sigh of his own and rested his head back on the bed.

The violent episode had been a one-time occurrence. For the remainder of his presentation period, Ashley frequently lost consciousness, calling out for Koi in his delirium. Each time, Koi immediately responded with, “Yes,” and held his hand.

While Ashley slept, Koi diligently searched the house for a first-aid kit, disinfecting and bandaging the wound on his arm. He felt both surprised and a little bitter that the basic first aid he’d learned at school was coming in handy now, but regardless, he stayed by Ashley’s side, only leaving briefly to get drinks and food.

He was vaguely aware that he wasn’t going to school and hadn’t contacted his family, but he didn’t care. Right now, nothing was more important to him than Ashley.

So peaceful…

Koi thought, lying in bed with Ashley, watching his sleeping face. Occasionally, birdsong drifted in from outside, and bright sunlight filled the room. The cool breeze cleared his mind and filled him with a sense of euphoria. Koi gently brushed a stray strand of hair away from Ashley’s face and thought, I wish this moment could last forever.

No drunken father, no grueling part-time jobs, no all-nighters to finish homework. How wonderful it would be if only these peaceful moments could continue.

But that didn’t happen. Two days later, Ashley fell into a deep sleep without regaining consciousness. He finally awoke nearly ten hours later.

His mind was clearer than before he lost consciousness. He slowly opened his eyes, momentarily disoriented by the unfamiliar lightness. His mind was clear, his body felt as light as a feather. He had never felt this buoyant before.

But there was something else that brought him even greater joy. The sight that greeted him when he opened his eyes brought a spontaneous smile to his face. As if sensing his awakening, Koi also stirred. Ashley smiled at the sight of Koi blinking sleepily at him and whispered, “Koi.”

“A-”

Koi didn’t have time to ask, “Ash, are you okay?” before Ashley pulled him into a tight embrace. Completely enveloped in Ashley’s arms, Koi could only blink. He vaguely sensed that this time, Ashley was different.

Is his presentation over?

Just as Koi was about to ask, Ashley showered his cheeks, nose, and lips with kisses. When he finally pulled back, Koi blinked, dazed.

Ashley chuckled again, his heart overflowing with affection for Koi. There couldn’t be a more certain confirmation of their feelings for each other, Ashley firmly believed.

🏒

After showering separately, they headed to the dining room. Ashley devoured the food as if he was going to empty the entire refrigerator, and he practically did. Koi tried his best, but he could only manage a hamburger and half a plate of salad.

Ashley took care of Koi’s school and housing situation. All he had to do was make a phone call. His secretary, already aware of Ashley’s presentation, had taken care of things in advance. However, she hadn’t anticipated Koi’s presence, so she added Koi’s attendance, grades, and contacting his father to the list.

—”Is your friend alright? To think he was with you throughout your presentation period…”

Ashley readily answered the secretary’s suspicious question, “He’s fine. He didn’t present as an omega.”

—”I see, that’s a relief.” The secretary added, —”If your friend had been caught up in it and presented as an omega, Mr. Miller wouldn’t have been very pleased.”

Ashley hung up without responding. He didn’t mention that Koi couldn’t smell. He didn’t know why himself, but he decided that there was no need for anyone else to know about Koi’s inability to smell. It was enough for Ashley to know.

“Ah, Ash.”

As they stepped out into the garden, Koi, who had been swimming in the pool, turned around. He had discarded his torn shirt and was wearing a t-shirt and swim trunks Ashley had given him. The t-shirt was too big, practically swallowing him whole, but the swim trunks, somehow unearthed from his elementary school days, fit surprisingly well.

“Having fun?” Ashley asked, catching up to him in the pool. He wrapped his arms around Koi’s waist, a natural gesture. Koi leaned into his embrace and spoke.

“Y-yes. Um… did the phone call go well?”

Ashley replied gently, “Yes. You don’t have to worry about school or home.”

He nuzzled his nose against Koi’s, an Eskimo kiss, and chuckled. “Your boyfriend is quite capable, isn’t he?”

“Huh? Uh…”

Koi hesitated, flustered, but Ashley didn’t notice. He felt like he could fly. Heaven awaited him after that wretched presentation. He would gladly go through ten presentations if this happiness was waiting for him on the other side.

Ashley lifted Koi up by his waist in the water and laughed. Koi yelped involuntarily and grabbed Ashley’s shoulders. Ashley smiled down at him and said, “I like you, Koi.”

Koi’s eyes widened. Ashley gazed at him expectantly, waiting for the same words in return. Come on, Koi. Say it.

Say you like me too.

“I…”

Koi’s lips parted with difficulty. Ashley, feeling as if he could hear the frantic beating of his own heart right next to his ear, stared at Koi’s mouth without blinking.

“I…”

Koi said something. At first, Ashley didn’t understand. He just stared, still smiling, and asked, “What? I didn’t hear you.”

Koi looked down at him, his face on the verge of tears. A trembling voice escaped his lips.

“I don’t like you.”

For a moment, Ashley thought he’d misheard. He couldn’t believe what Koi had just said. Koi wouldn’t say something like that. It was impossible. The one who was wrong was Ashley Miller. He was certain of it. So he denied what he was seeing, too. Koi’s tearful, contorted expression, the way he was looking at him – it simply couldn’t be true in this situation.

“…I misheard you, right?” Ashley asked again. He was ready to burst out laughing and pull Koi into a hug if he said it was all a joke. Still smiling, Ashley waited. Come on, Koi. Say it, quickly.

Say you didn’t mean what you just said.

But once again, his hopes were dashed. Koi’s trembling voice, the words he forced out, wiped the smile completely off Ashley’s face.

“You’re not thinking straight because of the presentation.”

Koi continued, “When you come to your senses, you’ll realize you were mistaken.”

Ashley, who had been holding Koi up, slowly lowered him back into the water. Still holding Koi’s waist, he said, “I presented, I’m not delusional.”

But Koi just shook his head again. Faced with such a strong rejection, Ashley finally accepted reality. Koi was denying him, dismissing his feelings, his sincerity, as nonsense. He couldn’t bear it.

“Why…?”

Ashley took a shaky breath and let it out slowly. He barely managed to suppress a yell. He needed to calm Koi down somehow. Even as he thought this, frustration welled up inside him. Why wouldn’t Koi acknowledge his feelings? He was about to explode.

“Koi.”

He suppressed his anger and forced himself to speak calmly. “Why don’t you believe me? This has nothing to do with the presentation. I liked you even before that.”

Koi, who had been listening silently to Ashley’s impassioned words, shook his head. He didn’t speak, but the meaning was clear: denial.

“Koi, it’s true.”

Ashley continued rapidly, his voice laced with desperation, “I like you, Koi. I’ve always liked you. Not as a friend. This is love. I love you.”

He thought if Koi would just believe his sincerity, he would tear open his chest and show him his heart. After Ashley’s repeated, fervent confessions, Koi finally spoke.

“I… I…”

Between ragged breaths, he whispered in a trembling voice, “I don’t like you.”

A gasp escaped Ashley’s lips. Koi, still avoiding his gaze, added hurriedly, “It’s true. I don’t like you. I’ve never thought of you that way.”

“Koi.”

“I really thought of you as a friend, and that’s why I came here. That’s all.”

“Koi.”

“You must be mistaken about liking me, and I…”

“Koi!”

Ashley couldn’t bear to hear the words “I don’t like you” one more time. He yelled, silencing Koi. He had achieved his goal, but his mood was in shambles. Seeing Koi flinch and look at him with anxiety, Ashley felt completely lost.

Why?

Why won’t it work? Why?

I told you I like you. So why are you denying your feelings? You like me. You wrote it clearly on the message board. Even now, look, your whole body is telling me so. But why?

But Koi’s ears remained still. The smile that used to greet him was gone. Ashley started to wonder if he really was delusional because of the pheromones.

“…I, I should go now.”

Koi pushed against Ashley’s shoulders, but Ashley didn’t budge. Koi struggled in the water, trying to free himself from Ashley’s grip on his waist.

“I really have to go. If I don’t go home now, my father might get angry.”

Ashley looked down at Koi, struggling to escape, his expression cold.

Should I lock him up?

It wouldn’t be difficult. There were plenty of spare rooms, and there was even a safe room (also known as a panic room, a fortified space designed to provide protection from intruders or natural disasters) that the police wouldn’t be able to find even if they searched the house. If he locked Koi up in there, no one would ever find him.

It doesn’t matter if he doesn’t admit it.

He could just lock Koi up and keep him there. No matter how hard Koi tried, he would never be able to escape. He wouldn’t be able to utter those nonsensical words about not liking him anymore. Ashley would be his entire world.

“Ash.”

Koi said his name. Despite his usual obliviousness, he seemed to have sensed the unsettling shift in the atmosphere. He finally looked up at Ashley, his eyes filled with fear. Perhaps he realized that Ashley was contemplating locking him up.

But what could Conner Niles do? It was too late to backpedal now, to cry and plead that he was lying, that he really did like Ashley. Ashley just stared down at Koi in silence.

I should have just taken him then.

If he had, Koi might have presented as an omega. There was no other explanation for why Koi remained a beta, despite being so close to a presenting alpha and being enveloped in his pheromones.

It’s not too late.

Ashley thought, I’ll just take him now. If he embraced him, poured his pheromones all over him, filled him to the brim, he would surely present. He might even get pregnant. It didn’t matter.

He’ll be completely mine.

He truly believed that. There was no other way. Perhaps the pheromones were driving him mad. He had lost all self-control. His mind was consumed by a single, overwhelming desire: possession.

I have to have Koi.

“…Ah!”

Koi let out a short cry as Ashley’s arms tightened around his waist. Their bodies pressed together in the water, the cold temperature contrasting sharply with the heat radiating from their skin.

“…Ash.”

Koi looked up at Ashley. Fear was evident in his eyes. He had never seen Ashley like this before. He was clearly furious. He might even hit Koi, like his father. Being hit would be painful, but it was okay. He would willingly endure it if it was Ashley.

Koi closed his eyes, bracing himself, his body trembling with fear. Then, Ashley spoke.

“…Did you close your eyes because you want me to kiss you?”

The question, laced with disbelief, was completely unexpected. Koi’s eyes fluttered open in surprise. He was still scared, but Ashley’s expression was something he hadn’t anticipated. Ashley was frowning at him, looking bewildered. Koi blinked, confused.

“No, I, um…” Koi stammered, “I thought… you might hit me.”

“Hit you? Me? You?”

Ashley let out a harsh breath. Koi flinched again. Ashley was dumbfounded by his reaction. He had been contemplating something far worse just moments ago, but hitting Koi hadn’t even crossed his mind. It was absurd. Where would he even hit this small, fragile body, barely half his size?

“I would never hit you.”

He scolded Koi, but he realized that what he had been about to do wasn’t much different.

Trying to force Koi to present…

And then locking him up and raping him. How horrifying. Yet even now, Ashley felt a powerful pull towards that dark fantasy.

No, I’m not like that man.

Ashley berated himself. If he forced Koi to be his, what would be the difference between him and that man?

He couldn’t do that. He loved Koi, and he would cherish and protect him. He would never use Koi for his own selfish desires, even if things didn’t go his way.

Ashley resolved this and hugged Koi again. He nuzzled his face against Koi’s shoulder and inhaled deeply, catching the faint scent of his skin.

Ashley remained motionless for a while. When he finally lifted his head, the dark desire that had been consuming him had subsided.

“…Let’s go now.”

He spoke in a low voice and slowly loosened his grip.

“I’ll take you home.”

He felt Koi’s body relax slightly in his arms. The fear in his eyes was replaced by concern.

“Are you… okay?” Koi asked, sensing something was still amiss.

Ashley kissed his cheek instead of answering. He smiled as he saw Koi blush, just like he always did. Seeing his smile, Koi seemed to relax a little, his shoulders slumping.

Ashley watched silently as Koi pulled away and hurried out of the pool. He swam to the edge and climbed out, slowly following Koi, who was already running back to the house.

All the while, he waged a silent battle against the dark obsession within him.

Ashley parked the car at the usual spot where he dropped Koi off, and they both got out.

“Thanks for the ride, Ash,” Koi said, looking up at him.

Ashley looked down at Koi silently, his gaze fixed not on his face but somewhere else. Noticing his gaze, Koi glanced down, then back up with a small, “Oh. Thanks for buying me clothes again… you could have just lent me yours.”

“Absolutely not,” Ashley said firmly.

Koi looked at him, surprised, but Ashley was serious. Koi was completely oblivious to his earlier disheveled appearance, but for Ashley, it had been a critical situation.

After Koi had showered and emerged wearing his old, worn-out jeans and the new t-shirt Ashley had lent him, Ashley had frozen. The ill-fitting shirt hung loosely, revealing glimpses of Koi’s skin from above. Seeing the marks he had left still visible on Koi’s body, a mixture of furious anger and desire had surged through him.

He immediately bundled Koi back into the car and headed to the mall. Only after buying three shirts in Koi’s size and making him change into one did Ashley finally feel at ease. Of course, Koi, completely unaware of the situation, simply thought, ‘Ash doesn’t like other people wearing his clothes.’

They stood facing each other. Outwardly, nothing seemed different, but Koi sensed a change in the atmosphere.

Well, it can’t be helped.

He felt a pang of bitterness, but he had to admit that he was the one who had caused this situation. But he couldn’t help it.

Ash is just mistaken.

Koi was well aware of his own situation. Ashley had only included him in the group out of pity, and although Koi was grateful, he knew he shouldn’t misunderstand. Besides, Ashley had just presented; he was bound to be confused. He would surely regret it later.

He’ll be glad I didn’t accept his feelings.

“Thank you for everything, Ash,” Koi said, forcing a smile. Thank you for saying you liked me, even if it was a mistake, he added silently. You’re a really good person.

“Koi.”

“Yes.”

Ashley said his name. Koi quickly responded. Ashley was silent for a moment before speaking. “What I said about liking you was true.”

“That’s…”

“It wasn’t a mistake, and I didn’t misspeak. I like you.” Ashley firmly cut off Koi’s words. He continued, looking at Koi, who was fumbling for words, “I don’t know why you’re denying it so vehemently, but I know my feelings better than you do. I like you, and it’s not a lie.”

“…”

“I like you. Why can’t you believe me?” Ashley asked with a wry smile.

The setting sun cast a reddish glow all around them. Koi stared blankly at Ashley’s brilliant platinum blonde hair, tinged with orange by the sunset, swaying gently in the breeze. He opened his mouth, but no sound came out. “That’s…” Koi finally replied after a long pause, “There’s no way… someone like you… would like someone like me.”

Ashley frowned, his displeasure evident. Koi fidgeted, averting his gaze.

“Koi.”

“Yes.”

He responded quickly, and Ashley said in a serious, stern voice he had never used before, “Never say ‘someone like me’ like that again. It makes me sound like someone who likes ‘someone like you.'”

“…”

Koi was speechless and just stared at Ashley. Ashley continued, “Don’t belittle the you that I like. I’ll be angry at anyone who looks down on Conner Niles. Even if it’s you.”

Koi had nothing to say to that. Seeing him speechless, Ashley asked, “Got it, Koi?”

“…”

“Conner Niles.” Ashley said his full name.

Koi quickly nodded. “Yes.” He added hurriedly in a trembling voice, “I won’t do that again.”

Ashley’s expression softened, and his usual gentle smile returned.

“Good.”

Seeing him smile, Koi felt a sense of relief, but he still couldn’t believe this was real. Am I dreaming?

Maybe I’m still lying in bed with Ash.

Perhaps he had fallen asleep while waiting for Ashley’s presentation to end. Otherwise, there was no way Ashley would be saying these things to him.

Just as he thought that, Ashley’s voice cut through his thoughts.

“You’re putting yourself down again, aren’t you?”

“What? N-no.” Startled by Ashley’s suspicious expression, Koi shook his head. “I just, um… I can’t believe it.”

“That I like you?”

Koi couldn’t even answer. Ashley was used to his reaction by now; it no longer surprised or bewildered him.

“It’s okay if you don’t believe it,” Ashley said. “I’ll keep liking you, and I’ll keep telling you, over and over again, until you believe me. I like you. So it doesn’t matter. I won’t give up until you accept it, whether it’s out of exhaustion or because you truly believe it.”

“That’s…”

Koi trailed off, unable to finish his sentence, and lowered his head. He didn’t know how to interpret this situation. He stood there, hesitating, when Ashley reached into his pocket and pulled something out.

…Huh?

Koi’s eyes widened as he saw what Ashley was holding out to him. Seeing his expression, Ashley said, “That’s right, the homecoming party ticket you gave me.”

“Why are you…?”

Ashley answered Koi’s bewildered question, “I wanted to go with you.”

Koi already knew that. Did he change his mind? He wondered, but he also couldn’t understand why Ashley was returning the ticket. His feelings were complicated. The returned ticket felt like a painful stab to his heart. Then, Ashley said something unexpected.

“Give this back to me when you feel like you want to go with me.”

“H-huh?”

Koi stammered again, surprised. Ashley continued in a calm voice, “Just tell me you want to go to the party with me. Then I’ll know.”

A faint smile touched Ashley’s lips.

“That you like me too.”

Koi was speechless, his mouth agape. Seeing the panic in Koi’s eyes, as if a war was raging in his mind, Ashley didn’t waste any more time. He reached down and took Koi’s hand. He placed the ticket in Koi’s limp palm and curled his fingers around it, closing his hand around the ticket. Then, Ashley held Koi’s hand in his.

“I’ll wait, Koi.”

With those words, Ashley kissed Koi’s cheek again. A soft ‘peck’ and a lingering warmth remained on his skin.

“Bye, Koi. See you tomorrow.”

Ashley smiled, waved, and got into his car. He drove off in his Cayenne, leaving Koi standing there, still dazed.

Koi’s image in the rearview mirror quickly disappeared. Instead of going straight home, Ashley changed lanes and started driving aimlessly.

He didn’t want to go home now. He had been with Koi, and now he was alone again.

Actually, it hadn’t been much different when he lived back east. His mansion there had always been bustling with staff, yet he had always felt surrounded by silence. He had run away because he hated it. This place was quiet too, but it was better than being surrounded by people. Silence because there was no one around was only natural.

But that natural silence had changed after Koi came to his house. Now, Ashley was sick of it. He didn’t want to fall asleep alone anymore. But it wasn’t just anyone he wanted. He wanted only one person.