LMUC Ch 13

“Uh? Yes?”

Koi stood up abruptly, looking back and forth between Ashley and Joanna. Still dazed, Ashley checked his watch and said,

“Go on, I’ll wait here.”

Seeing Ashley’s furrowed brow, Koi appeared visibly flustered. As Joanna led Koi to the fitting room, Ashley added,

“If you need help, call me, Koi.”

“Uh, okay.”

Koi nodded and was practically pushed into the fitting room. Ashley crossed his legs and leaned his elbows, slowly resting his chin and whispering,

“I’ll watch everything.”

🏒

Time passed like a dream. Koi went back and forth several times, changing clothes each time. Ashley adjusted Koi’s shirt collar and waistband, and later even offered to help him change in the fitting room.

But Koi refused that until the end. The reflection in the fitting room mirror was pitiful. He couldn’t bear to show his naked body to anyone, especially Ashley. Ashley, with his impressive physique, would probably find Koi’s body pathetic. Though Ashley might already know, Koi didn’t want to confirm it in person.

After shopping, Ashley bought Koi a homecoming suit, tie, watch, and casual clothes. Koi thought it was too much, but he couldn’t argue and found himself in the car heading to a restaurant.

The restaurant Ashley took him to was incredibly fancy. Later, Koi found out it was extremely famous and booked three months in advance.

Even there, the situation was the same. Staring blankly at the menu filled with unfamiliar names of dishes, Ashley kindly asked,

“Can I order for you?”

Of course, Koi nodded eagerly. He learned that there were many ways to enjoy food beyond taste. Previously, he thought most food was the same due to his dull sense of taste, but he realized it was a mistake. It was just that he had been eating mundane food.

The exotic dishes and items he’d only seen in pictures or never knew existed excited Koi. The desserts left the biggest impression. He had previously thought there wasn’t much difference between chewing a shoe sole and a tough steak.

But macarons were different. The texture and melting sensation were different, and the sweetness was on another level. For the first time, Koi understood what “delicious” meant.

It wasn’t just macarons. The chocolate and cheesecake were also delightful. Koi loved the smoothness of the cold, melting cake. Though he couldn’t finish all the courses Ashley ordered, he devoured the dessert ice cream and cake. Seeing this, Ashley asked the waiter for more dessert, and Koi ended up enjoying two plates of dessert with warm coffee.

“From now on, I’ll make sure to have more desserts.”

Watching Koi happily finish his plates, Ashley said with a smile. Koi hadn’t had many sweet treats at Ashley’s house since Ashley rarely ate desserts. Feeling bad about making Ashley go through the trouble, Koi declined hastily.

“No, I had enough today. It’s fine.”

“I’m more than fine with it.”

Ashley said.

“I want to do this for you.”

Seeing Ashley’s smile across the table, Koi stared in a daze. His heart tingled, and his fingertips felt prickly again. Despite the many people in the large restaurant, he only saw Ashley. His eyes, ears, and all his senses seemed focused solely on him. What was this feeling?

Koi pondered but couldn’t find an answer even after reaching home.

“Thanks a lot for today, Ash.”

Koi said, blushing as he stood by the roadside. As he took out the shopping bags from the trunk, Ashley frowned.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to walk you home?”

“Yeah, it’s fine. It’s just over there. It’s close.”

Koi added hastily.

“The street is too narrow for a car. It’s best to part ways here.”

Ashley could have walked him, but Koi didn’t suggest that. Seeing Koi insist, Ashley didn’t push further.

I’m not Koi’s boyfriend.

Ashley reminded himself. He’s just a friend. For now. So he did as Koi wished.

“Okay.”

Phew.

Koi sighed with relief, holding the heavy shopping bags and looking up at him. It was nearly midnight, and the surrounding was pitch dark.

“Thanks for the ride, Ash.”

Koi looked up at Ashley, expressing his gratitude. Ashley stood silently for a while before speaking.

“Koi.”

“Yes.”

Koi answered immediately, and Ashley smiled.

“Did you have fun today?”

“Yes, of course, a lot.”

Without hesitation, Koi nodded, and Ashley reached out.

Oh.

A large hand touched Koi’s cheek. The night air was cold, but the skin where Ashley’s hand touched felt burning hot. Koi unconsciously held his breath as Ashley asked,

“Do you know what this means?”

“…What?”

Surprised by the unexpected question, Koi blinked. Ashley continued in a gentle voice.

“Koi, think carefully. What did I do for you today, and why did I do it?”

“…”

“If you think about it, you’ll understand. You already know the answer.”

The hand that tickled his skin wrapped gently around Koi’s cheek. Barely able to breathe, Koi whispered,

“…I do?”

“Yes.”

Ashley nodded.

“The answer is already inside you.”

Suppressing his desire to kiss Koi, Ashley instead smiled at him. He then said goodbye and turned away, still seeing Koi’s confused face looking back at him.

As he sat in the driver’s seat and started the engine, Ashley glanced in the rearview mirror and saw Koi still watching him. Ashley resisted the urge to get out and hug and kiss him, instead speeding away.

I need to confess.

He thought as he drove down the empty street faster than necessary. He decided to do it at the homecoming party. He would pick up Koi and go to the party together, dance, and drink the bad punch. When the moment was right, he would take Koi to the tree-lined path behind the school and confess his feelings.

All his past relationships with girlfriends had started and ended naturally. There were no formal confessions, and while they exchanged “I love yous,” he had never felt this burning desire and racing heart. But this time was different. He planned to confess to Koi and ask him to be his boyfriend.

Then Koi…

He pictured Koi’s face, blushing and looking up at him, his ears twitching. Maybe Koi would say, “I like you too.”

The thought made his heart feel like it would burst. Ashley let out a groan.

Koi, please realize it soon.

He recalled Koi’s confused face looking up at him. With a deep sigh, Ashley prayed earnestly.

Let me hold and kiss you soon.

🏒

Fortunately, his father hadn’t come home yet when Koi arrived. Koi carefully entered the dark motorhome and turned on the light. Seeing the dimly lit interior, he first looked for a place to hide his belongings. The motorhome was cramped, leaving little space for things.

He had no choice but to take out the old, torn clothing box from under the low bed frame and put the shopping bags there instead. Covering them with the box made them protrude suspiciously, but it didn’t matter. His father was always drunk and never inspected the house properly, so he never noticed if things were added or removed.

After roughly organizing, Koi sighed and quickly washed himself. He carefully folded the clothes he wore and hid them with his other clothes. Then he put on his usual old shirt and holey sweatpants and lay down on the bed.

As quietness settled in, the day’s events replayed in his mind. He still couldn’t believe it had all been real.

Maybe I was dreaming until just now.

But even a slight turn of his head revealed the clothing box sticking out from under the bed, reminding him that it had all happened.

Koi sighed deeply to calm his excited heart and turned on his side. His heart started pounding again. How could such a day happen?

He still felt the cold, sweet sensation of the dessert in his mouth. Closing his eyes and recalling the day, he naturally wondered,

Why did Ash do that for me today?

“Do you know what it means?”

Ashley’s words echoed in his mind. Koi opened his eyes and stared blankly. Ashley’s words replayed in his ears.

“Think carefully. What did I do for you today, and why did I do it?”

Ashley had said it was in return for the homecoming ticket. But even Koi, as clueless as he was, knew that such a gesture was too much in return. There had to be more meaning. What was it?

“If you think about it, you’ll understand. You already know the answer.”

Memories of the day flashed through his mind one by one. Ashley had been unusually kind, hadn’t he?

Because he’s rich.

Koi thought. Ash is rich, unlike me, so maybe it’s natural for him to be this generous in return. He even said the rich pay more taxes and that our bests are different. Ash might just be repaying me in his own way.

No.

A voice inside him disagreed. You know Ash isn’t like that. He has never shown off his money or been overly generous to friends.

He bought clothes for me, took me to a fancy restaurant, and even his car and outfit were different from usual.

Doesn’t it seem just like a date…?

“The answer is already inside you.”

“Ah!”

Startled, Koi bolted upright in bed, frantically thinking.

No. What am I thinking? That can’t be right.

He immediately denied it, but something still felt off. Even though Koi had never dated anyone, he knew what a date was. The thoughts now swirling in his head were too absurd.

But still, even as a thank you, today was way too much.

Suddenly, a forgotten memory resurfaced.

“I think of them as friends, but I’ve never felt my heart race or felt embarrassed around them.”

…What?

“In fact, it’d be pretty gross to feel that way about those big, hairy gorillas.”

Oh no.

Koi blinked rapidly in confusion. His mind kept conjuring dangerous thoughts. What did those words mean? Why were they suddenly resurfacing now?

Ash is a great guy, but he doesn’t just show this kind of overwhelming kindness to everyone, even close friends.

Which means…

Which means…

Koi felt his brain slowly freezing, then his heart began pounding wildly. He leapt up from his seat on the bed but fell off with a thud.

“Ow!”

He cried out as he tumbled, then scrambled back onto the bed. He was too dazed to feel the pain, consumed by one thought.

No way, no way, absolutely, absolutely not, but…

Could it be, just maybe…

But Ashley had someone he liked. He had said so himself, that he broke up with Elle because he liked someone else.

…So,

So, that means…

“That means he likes that person, Koi.”

Ash likes me…?

He couldn’t even finish the thought in his head, pulling the sheets over his head instead. Though it seemed impossible, it all made sense. Suddenly asking him to the homecoming party had been strange.

If it were true, it made perfect sense.

It’s really true! Ah!

His heart raced, feeling like his face might explode. He couldn’t think straight. He felt like he was going to lose his mind, torn between excitement, embarrassment, and overwhelming happiness. If his father hadn’t come home just then, Koi might have screamed.

As usual, his father came home drunk and began drinking more, but that noise barely registered to Koi. His own heartbeat was much louder. And so, he spent the entire night curled up without sleeping.

🏒

After the weekend, the school was abuzz with talk about Ashley’s party. Koi parked his bike in the usual spot and headed for his locker, passing the noisy chatter.

“Hey, Koi!”

Bill spotted him first, waving. The others turned to look, and Koi’s eyes met Ashley’s.

Koi, who had intended to greet Bill, felt his heart drop. The thoughts he’d had all night flooded back, his mind going blank and his face flushing.

He wanted to run away, but the hockey team was already watching him. He had no choice but to walk toward them, avoiding Ashley’s gaze. Bill, who had initially called out to him, looked him up and down, then whistled shortly.

“You’re looking different today, aren’t you? Doesn’t he look good?”

“Yeah, he does.”

The others nodded in agreement. Today, Koi had worn the shirt and pants Ashley bought for him, along with new shoes.

Feeling shy, Koi avoided their gaze and gave vague answers. He glanced up and met Ashley’s eyes again. He held his breath as Ashley smiled gently. In a kind voice, Ashley said,

“It suits you.”

“Uh, th-thanks.”

Koi could only manage that. His heart raced, and he felt too embarrassed to stand there any longer. He mumbled something and hurried away.

The group soon lost interest in his retreating back and resumed their conversation. Ashley, however, kept watching Koi’s hurried departure, a smile playing on his lips.

Koi, wearing the clothes he had bought, looked so adorable that Ashley had to fight the urge to hug and kiss him. The only thing keeping his composure was the five huge “gorillas” standing between him and Koi.

I should have bought everything.

Ashley regretted only buying a few outfits Koi tried on because he felt burdened. But it’s okay. Ashley decided there would be plenty of chances in the future.

Imagining undressing Koi in those clothes, Ashley joined his friends’ conversation naturally.

“Huff, huff.”

Panting, Koi finally stopped running and hid behind the building. His heart felt like it was going to burst, but it wasn’t just from running. His heart had already been racing since he saw Ashley.

Recalling Ashley’s gentle smile, Koi couldn’t take it anymore. He groaned in frustration and forced himself to think.

Could Ash really like me?

The worries that had kept him up all night came rushing back. No matter how much he thought about it, there was only one answer. Ashley had clearly said that the answer was already within Koi and that he already knew it.

This is the only answer I have, Ash.

Koi tried to calm his trembling breath. He wanted to talk to someone about it, but there was no one to confide in. Posting another message on the forum after causing such a huge mess would be the act of a fool. He had been lucky this time, but it wouldn’t be so easy next time. Koi resolved never to post on the internet again.

I should ask him directly.

Koi made a difficult decision. There was no other way. No matter how much he pondered alone, he wouldn’t get an answer. Only Ashley could tell him the truth.

Koi took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

🏒

At lunchtime, Koi headed to the cafeteria as usual. Today, Ashley was already in line with the others.

“Koi!”

Ashley raised his hand in greeting, and Koi’s face flushed again. Normally, he would wave back and run to him happily, but not today.

Pretending not to see him, Koi walked slowly and hid behind Bill. Only then did he sigh in relief. But Ashley wouldn’t just leave him alone.

“Ah!”

Koi yelped as he was suddenly pulled forward. Ashley naturally wrapped an arm around him and smiled from above.

“What are you doing there?”

“Uh, um, just…”

Koi’s mind was spinning as he hurried to make an excuse.

“The shade was cool.”

“What?”

“Really?”

“Hey, Bill. Did you gain weight?”

“No, you jerks!”

The usual banter flew back and forth, but Koi heard none of it. All he could hear was the thumping of his own heartbeat echoing in his head.

Ashley.

Koi wondered.

Do you really like me?

His heart felt like it was about to explode.

Even while eating lunch with the others as usual, Koi’s attention was entirely on Ashley. Ashley joked and laughed with the others as always, but Koi couldn’t. His heart raced, and he was too distracted to do anything. As he tried to eat the tough, dry hamburger, Bill’s voice reached his ears.

“Speaking of which, we never found out who posted about liking Ash on the forum, did we?”

Gulp.

Koi swallowed involuntarily, unnoticed by anyone else. The others continued talking.

“Probably some loser from somewhere. Might not even be someone from our school. Ash is famous.”

“That’s true.”

One of them chuckled.

“That person must be an omega, right? Otherwise, it’d be weird.”

Gulp.

This time, Koi audibly gulped his drink. But no one paid attention.

“Of course. Only alphas and omegas would be like that with the same gender. Betas have no reason to, right?”

Looking for agreement, he glanced around. Suddenly, Ashley spoke up.

“Liking someone isn’t just about wanting sex.”

Koi stared at Ashley. Though Ashley was looking at his friends, Koi felt like the words were meant for him.

“Well, sure, but…”

Another guy joined in.

“So, Ash, if you like someone, you don’t need sex? No kissing either?”

“Yeah, right.”

“Ooooh, Ashley Miller, liar!”

As friends jeered with thumbs down, Ashley smirked. Koi watched him, holding his breath. Before taking a bite of his burger, Ashley replied,

“Of course, I want to. I’m burning with desire right now.”

As he finished, Ashley suddenly looked at Koi. The intense, slightly narrowed gaze made Koi’s heart drop. The others began shouting over each other.

“What?”

“What did you say?”

“What?”

The entire cafeteria’s attention turned to them, but they didn’t care and continued badgering Ashley. Meanwhile, Koi’s mind was elsewhere. His hand trembled, holding the burger. Despite being hungry, his chest felt too tight to eat. Koi fiddled with the half-eaten burger, unable to bring it to his mouth. The others kept bombarding Ashley with questions.

“What, did you start dating someone new?”

“Who is it? When? Since when?”

“Wow, but you didn’t tell us?”

“Is it someone from our school? I haven’t seen you with anyone.”

“Right! You’ve only been hanging out with Koi lately.”

At that moment, everyone’s attention turned to Koi. Snapping back to reality, Koi quickly shook his head.

“N-no, it’s not.”

“Hey, did you see the new player list for Saint Paul High School? They changed captains.”

Bill suddenly changed the topic. Thankfully, the simple-minded boys quickly shifted their focus, and Koi sighed in relief.

That was close.

He glanced at Ashley, who was participating in the conversation normally. But recalling the intense gaze Ashley had given him earlier made him feel strange.

Has Ash always looked at me like that?

“Koi.”

As they got up after lunch, Ashley suddenly spoke to Koi. Caught off guard, Koi nearly stumbled but managed to steady himself.

“Uh, yes?”

Standing straight, Koi looked up as Ashley smiled. Was he going to talk about what happened last time? Here?

Amidst the noisy chatter of other students, Ashley said,

“You have your second test today, right? Let me know the results afterward.”

“Oh? Oh…”

Koi nodded absentmindedly. He was right; today was the second tryout for the cheerleading team. Though Ashley’s words were normal, they sounded different to Koi today.

“Let me know the results afterward.”

Could this mean…?

Does he want me to tell him how I feel afterward?

Looking up with a racing heart, Koi saw Ashley add kindly,

“Do your best.”

Koi kept his gaze fixed on him and nodded.

“Yes.”

His heart pounded as if it would leap out of his chest.

“I will.”

Tell him. Today.

Koi decided. Ask Ash. Do you like me? Even if I’m wrong, Ash won’t laugh at me.

Koi nodded to himself. Ask honestly. He’ll answer. And if, just if, Ash says he likes me…

I… I…

Koi’s heart trembled, and he couldn’t think any further.

🏒

As he stopped his steps in time, the surrounding area fell silent. Panting, Koi waited for the girls’ reactions. At the center was Ariel, the team captain.

Always tying her hair in a high ponytail for cheerleading, Ariel watched Koi’s routine with a serious expression, her brows furrowed. Arms crossed, one hand on her lips, she said nothing, making Koi anxious.

“Hmm.”

After a while, Ariel spoke.

“Not bad. No, definitely better.”

Koi’s face brightened. Ariel continued with a stern face.

“But still lacking. You can’t join our team at this level. Remember, we are the Buffalo High School Cheerleading Team.”

“Y-yes.”

Nervous again, Koi nodded. Ariel glanced at the team behind her and said,

“We worked hard to get here. You need that dedication too.”

“O-of course. I’ll do my best, no, I’ll give it my all.”

Koi hurriedly promised again. Ariel fell silent, seemingly lost in thought. Anxiously waiting, Koi suppressed the urge to nag her for an answer. After a few moments that felt like minutes, Ariel finally spoke.

“Conner Niles, you’ve passed the second test.”

“…!”

“But.”

Just as Koi was about to cheer, Ariel continued.

“Your current condition is critical. Being lean is fine, but looking frail isn’t. You’ve been hanging out with those gorillas for months and still aren’t even a chimp?”

With a frown and arms crossed, Ariel added coldly.

“You’ll need to manage your fitness strictly before the season starts. We won’t go easy on you, so be prepared.”

“Yes, I will!”

“Good.”

Ariel nodded.

“We’ll take you as a temporary member. Congratulations, Conner Niles. It will be for about three months, but keep up with us.”

Ariel finished her statement with a smile for the first time. The others around him clapped and offered congratulations. Koi was so happy with the result that he couldn’t speak. He just opened his mouth and blinked, stammering his thanks.

“Th-thank you, thank you. I’ll really do my best. Thank you…”

After exchanging thanks for a while, Koi joined their basic fitness training for the first time. And, as Ariel had said, it was several times harsher than anything he had experienced before.

🏒

Huff.

Koi staggered across the field, exhausted. He never imagined that the girls who always moved gracefully with pretty smiles were undergoing such rigorous and severe training behind the scenes.

Well, that’s how they can perform those moves so easily.

Realizing their greatness anew, he straightened his posture. Even though he was only a temporary member, he was determined to do his best not to be a burden to them. He was confident in that. The one thing Koi had was that he always gave his best in everything.

First, I have to tell Ash about this.

Thinking of Ashley suddenly lightened his steps. Of course, Ashley would be very happy for him. Koi had never realized how joyous it could be to share good news with someone. All the accumulated fatigue vanished, and his body felt light as he moved with a spring in his step, even humming a tune.

By now, practice should be over.

Usually, he would go to Ashley’s car and wait, but he couldn’t contain his excitement today. He decided to tell Ashley the result and confess his feelings. The thought made his heart race even more than during the test. His fingers tingled, and his whole body heated up as he spun in place.

I like you, Ash.

Just thinking those words made his heart feel like it would explode. Eager to see Ashley as soon as possible, Koi headed straight for the ice rink.

“Oh.”

Today, practice seemed to have ended earlier, as he spotted the familiar group from a distance. Excitedly, Koi hurried towards them.

Smiling brightly as he approached, he realized Ashley was not among them.

The joy quickly faded, leaving him feeling empty. Just as he was about to ask where Ashley was, one of them spoke up.

“Doesn’t Ash seem strange lately?”

The others agreed and continued.

“Yeah, he doesn’t hang out with us like he used to.”

“He was barely visible at the party too.”

“And we still don’t know why he broke up with Elle.”

As they all murmured in agreement, someone asked.

“Didn’t this start after he got close to Koi?”

Startled by his name, Koi quickly hid behind a nearby building. From behind, he could still hear them talking.

“Now that you mention it, Ash has been sticking with Koi a lot lately.”

“Yeah, it was really unsettling earlier.”

“It can’t be Koi, right?”

An uproar followed. Koi’s face turned red as he covered his mouth. Oh no, they know!

“No way, that guy likes Ash? How dare he?”

Bill spoke up.

“Right, Ash only hangs out with Koi out of pity.”

…What?

Koi’s pounding heart suddenly felt cold.

Bill continued.

“Ash suggested it, so we all hang out with him too. Not like one more Koi makes a difference.”

Koi clamped his hands over his mouth, fearing he would scream. Holding his breath, he remained frozen in place, listening to another voice.

“Yeah, he’s barely noticeable, hardly talks.”

“Honestly, we’d never hang out with someone like Koi otherwise.”

Each word felt like a stab to Koi’s heart. Unaware, they kept going.

“But isn’t it surprising Ash hangs out with him out of pity?”

“Well, Ash is a good guy, so maybe he felt sorry for him.”

“Ash is nice, but he usually sets clear boundaries.”

“Koi must be really pitiful for him to cross the line. Which is true.”

Pity. Feeling sorry. Crossing the line.

Koi’s mind went blank. Suddenly, another voice interrupted.

“What are you talking about?”

Ash.

Koi flinched. The others seemed startled too. Nervously peeking out, Koi saw Ashley standing a short distance away. Swallowing hard, Koi waited with a mix of fear and hope.

Maybe they’re wrong.

He thought. Maybe they misunderstood or were talking about something else. Yeah, that must be it. I’ve misunderstood things before. It happens to everyone. Yeah.

Koi looked at Ashley desperately.

Please, Ash. Tell me that’s not what you meant.

Ashley then asked,

“What were you talking about just now?”

Ashley looked around at the group with a frown. The hesitant responses of the boys seemed unusual.

These guys, I clearly heard them mention Koi’s name.

As Ashley frowned, Bill stepped forward with newfound courage.

“We were talking about why you’ve been hanging out with Koi so much lately.”

Ashley’s frown deepened, and another boy quickly stepped forward.

“What’s the big deal? You said before we should be nice to him because we feel sorry for him. So, we’re all just hanging out with him.”

“Yeah, that’s why we included Koi too, right?”

These guys…

Bill glanced at the betrayers with exasperation, then turned back to Ashley with an innocent expression. Ashley spoke.

“…That’s true, I did say that.”

…What?

Koi couldn’t believe his ears. He had hoped his friends misunderstood, but…

It was true?

Koi’s eyes widened in shock.

Ashley admitted it.

He said that’s what he meant.

As Koi stood frozen, pale and in disbelief, he heard Ashley continue.

“I did say we should be nice to Koi because we feel sorry for him, but…”

Ashley’s voice trailed on, but Koi couldn’t stay. This was enough. If he heard any more truth, especially from Ashley’s mouth, he wouldn’t be able to bear it.

Koi hurried away, haunted by the group’s words.

Because we feel sorry for him. Out of pity.

Tears streamed down his face.