LM Chapter 5

There’s one thing I can proudly say I’ve mastered since entering university. That’s pulling all-nighters. Professors would control weeks of our lives with just a three-second command of ‘do this.’ Weeks? That would be lucky. Sometimes while diligently painting, you’d get that ‘uh-oh’ feeling. Then a chilling fear would pour down from the top of your head, accompanied by an ominous feeling that you’d have to start over from the beginning. And then hell would unfold.

Maybe it was because I’d tasted this hell several times, but staying up all night wasn’t a big deal anymore. With such a light heart, I helped Saebyeok. For three days, I would rush over after my part-time job ended and paint frantically. And at 4:40 AM on opening day, we finished everything.

Finishing before sunrise meant we had time to spare by our standards. The problem was the dizziness that hit when I stood up. That’s when I realized. Ah, we didn’t have dinner. Leaving Saebyeok, who had already passed out and wouldn’t wake up even if shaken, I left the gallery workspace.

Taking a deep breath of outside air made me feel alive. But that only lasted for a second. As soon as my breathing settled, fatigue rushed in as if it had been waiting. Like gravity working strongly the moment I stepped onto a dark road, the ground pulled at my body.

At that moment, I wished I had the power of teleportation to instantly appear at home. But not everything comes true just because you desperately want it. Despite my desperate wish, I was still standing on the ground. Reluctantly moving my heavy legs toward the bus stop, I belatedly realized buses weren’t running yet.

Come to think of it, how would I get home? No, even if I did go home, I’d have to go back for my part-time job. While blankly thinking and checking the time, I realized the convenience store wasn’t far.

I immediately changed direction. I thought it would be better to take a short nap in the convenience store’s storage room chair before my shift. Plus, I was hungry too. No, sleep comes first. Ah, but I kind of want ramyeon? Still, sleep…

“There’s not much time left until 7 anyway. I think I won’t be able to wake up on time if I go home and lie down. I’ll just stay hidden in the storage room by myself and take over at 7, Cheolsoo hyung.”

It was clearly my voice, but it didn’t feel like my own. My eyes were so heavy from exhaustion that I rubbed them with my hands, but no response came. When I opened my eyes, he was slowly scanning me. Only then did I follow his gaze and look down at myself.

Drip, drip, drip.

Water was dripping from my hair, sleeves, and the hem of my pants, soaking my entire body and falling to the floor. Right, I got caught in a downpour on my way here.

“I’m sorry. I’ll clean the floor. I’ll just sleep a little and then take over the shift at 7…”

“Today’s Saturday.”

“Huh?”

When I stupidly asked back, he bluntly repeated himself.

“Saturday. Your day off.”

…Ah. …Aah! In an instant, all my fatigue seemed to vanish. I opened my eyes wide and shouted in joy.

“Awesome!”

Perhaps my exclamation was too old-fashioned, as Cheolsoo hyung frowned. Of course, I couldn’t see anything. I could just go home and sleep like this! But perhaps because I had used up all my remaining energy in that burst of excitement, I stumbled as I turned around in joy.

I thought I had barely managed to keep my balance, but due to the wet floor, my feet slipped forward again. Just when I thought I was really going to fall, a large hand firmly grabbed my arm. I was surprised first by the solid strength that easily supported my body, and second by the fact that it was Cheolsoo hyung. When did he come out from behind the counter? Unless he jumped over it…

“You should be careful.”

A low voice echoed in my ear. Sometimes, there are artists who express music in colors. I felt the urge to capture that fleeting brilliance in a painting. The low, soft voice seemed to form a deep blue river beneath my feet. It felt like riding on slow, dense waves. Without realizing it, I stared up at him.

“What?”

“I like your voice, hyung.”

“…”

“Thank you.”

I straightened up from leaning against him and bowed. Cheolsoo hyung stared down at me without moving, so he was still holding my arm. I need to go home. I tried to gently pull my arm away, but instead, he pulled my arm more.

This time I tried to ask ‘What?’ but the words didn’t make it past my lips, stopping at the tip of my tongue. His gaze had stopped near my collarbone. Water was still dripping from my wet hair. Until now, I hadn’t noticed, but I could clearly feel the water running down the back of my neck. I was also conscious of my T-shirt clinging to me because it was wet.

But what bothered me the most was this awkward atmosphere. I was about to force my lips apart when his gaze rose. When our eyes met, I couldn’t open my mouth further. I couldn’t remember what I was going to say. I had once felt that his eyes were intense, and they still were. No, now they were like blue flames, too intense to handle. For some reason, I felt fear in that moment. Without realizing it, I leaned my upper body back.

“I-I’ll clean the floor.”

“Dry off before you go.”

He still held my arm and spoke bluntly. Then, he turned and dragged me to the break room. I followed him, watching his back for those few short steps. Was it because Cheolsoo hyung was so tall? With my view blocked, it felt like he was taking me to a strange place.

It felt like a vast grassland would unfold before my eyes when he stepped aside. I must really be sleepy. My dazed self-reproach disappeared only when Cheolsoo hyung pushed me onto the chair as if throwing me.

Thump.

As soon as I sat down in the chair, a towel fell on my head. As if that wasn’t enough, Cheolsoo hyung took out another towel from the shelf and threw it at me.

“Dry yourself. Your dirt is dripping everywhere.”

I was about to rub my head with the towel in my hands when I looked up sharply.

“It’s not dirt? It’s probably paint, I got some on me while painting all night. It’s unfair to mistake paint for dirt. Don’t you know how well I wash?”

I snapped, but due to my brain being half-paralyzed with sleepiness, incomprehensible nonsense came out. Cheolsoo hyung was already looking down at me pathetically as usual. Ridiculously, that gaze actually made me feel relieved and tension drained away.

“Ah, of course I didn’t wash last night because I was up all night, but when I get home I’ll wash and… yawn…  sleep.”

I couldn’t hold back my yawn and covered my mouth with my hand. Sleep, I can sleep. Just this thought brought drowsiness washing over me again. My body felt heavy as if being pulled to the ground. I didn’t have the confidence to make it home. I just wanted to sleep here for a while. But wouldn’t Cheolsoo hyung hate that? While slowly rubbing my head with my hand and thinking, I heard a short word.

“Sleep.”

“What?”

“I don’t mind, so sleep.”

“…Cheolsoo hyung-ssi, can you read minds?”

I was so surprised I didn’t even know how I addressed him. Cheolsoo, who had suddenly become ‘-ssi’, now openly gave me a pitiful look.

“You said it yourself.”

“Ah, did I?”

Damn, I must have said it out loud.

“Hey, sleep.”

My eyes really closed. But since I was under the air conditioner, my damp clothes were now as cold as a refrigerator. I lifted my T-shirt, which was sticking to my skin, with my hand, and Cheolsoo hyung turned around, pulling a shirt from his bag.

“Wear this.”

When I caught what he threw, it was that Prussian blue shirt. I had seen him wear the same color. It was the same shirt. I didn’t need to ask whose it was. The colorful person who expressed himself through color was right in front of me.

“Is your English name by any chance Prussian Kim?”

“I’ll wake you up in 40 minutes.”

Why 40 minutes? Before I could ask, he closed the storage room door and left. When the cold air conditioning was cut off, my shivering stopped. I hadn’t realized it, but I must have been quite cold. I dried my hair with the towel and quickly took off my wet T-shirt, wiping my upper body with the towel. The water was gone, but the chill remained.

I spread out the t-shirt Cheolsoo hyung gave me. It was huge like a sack. When Cheolsoo hyung wore it, it fit well and was just right for his shoulders. After watching for a moment, I put it down beside me and spread the towel out long like a blanket and covered my bare skin.

The damp pants were also bothering me, but I didn’t have the energy to take them off and dry them too. I wanted to get even 4 minutes more sleep, not just 40 minutes. I leaned my head against the wall, put my legs on a box next to the chair, and curled up to sleep.

***

Thinking about it now, that wasn’t sleep but passing out. Although I slept uncomfortably on the chair, that part felt like time had been cut out, like a void. So, when I woke up, my consciousness didn’t return gradually but flickered on like a light.

I felt something touch my face. Startled, I opened my eyes. However, my eyes wouldn’t open properly. Even in that state, I couldn’t bear wondering what had woken me up. What on earth is poking my face…

“…What are you doing?”

The tip of Cheolsoo hyung’s finger was poking my cheek as if it were bread dough.

“Wake up.”

He removed his finger and replied indifferently. As he did so, I saw him clench his fist as if hiding his finger. Even if he had waved his finger like a belly dancer, that wasn’t the important part. In his other hand was the shirt he had given me to wear. Without realizing it, I made an excuse.

“Ah, it looked like a new shirt, so I felt sorry about wearing it.”

He just stared at me silently. But there was no contempt in that gaze. That made me quite uncomfortable. I also stared at him silently, then raised the white flag first.

“…The clothes were too big, and I was embarrassed that I’d look like a kid if I wore them.”

“Ah.”

He briefly looked me up and down and agreed right away. My mood suddenly soured. What, you’re agreeing? Without realizing it, I reached out my hand.

“No, come to think of it, it’ll fit me perfectly. It’ll fit just like a custom-made shirt. Give it here, I’ll wear it.”

However, Cheolsoo hyung threw me the clothes I had hung up to dry.

“Put these on and come out.”

He closed the door and left right away. I felt somehow wronged as I started to get up from my seat, then stopped. The towel that had been on my knees fell to the floor. Only then did I realize I wasn’t wearing any clothes on my upper body.

…Well, at least it’s better than having taken off my pants.

I tried to think positively in my typical way as I pulled the shirt over my head, but I couldn’t hide the heat rising to my face. I hurried out like that, and I could understand why Cheolsoo hyung had said he’d wake me in 40 minutes.

He was standing by the door with his bag, waiting for me. As I hurried to walk over after seeing him waiting, I made eye contact with someone in front of the counter. A young man about my age was staring at me with round eyes.

Ah, the part-timer that works weekend mornings. I awkwardly bowed my head in greeting.

“I used all the towels in the storage room. Do you need any? I’ll let the manager know separately.”

He also stared at me stiffly before hurriedly shaking his head. No, no. He waved both hands and then, as if realizing something, asked.

“Are you perhaps a part-timer here? You’re Park Ryeok, right?”

Although I thought I had gotten used to the manager always saying ‘Ryeok-ah, Ryeok-ah,’ it was embarrassing to introduce myself by my name now.

“I am. How did you know?”

“I could tell just by looking. But you’re not like what I heard, you’re more…”

Heard what?

“Aren’t you going to start working?”

Cheolsoo hyung rudely interrupted the conversation. I unnecessarily looked at the weekend part-timer nervously. But he shut his mouth like a robot receiving orders from its master and busily started organizing the counter. However, realizing there was nothing to organize, he quickly turned around and pretended to organize the display shelf behind him.

Only then did I realize that the weekend part-timer was quite afraid of Cheolsoo hyung. Why? Ah, maybe… While I was guessing the reason, Cheolsoo hyung silently grabbed my arm and led me outside. His grip was quite strong, and I was dragged along like a floating jellyfish. But as soon as we got outside the door, he let go of me abruptly as if he had touched something he shouldn’t have. This felt worse than being suddenly dragged. A resentful protest naturally came out of my mouth.

“I’m really clean.”

“What?”

“I told you I don’t have dirt on me.”

He looked down at me as if wondering what I was talking about, then went ‘Ah’ and snickered. For a moment I doubted my eyes. He laughed? Kim Cheolsoo hyung is capable of laughing? Of course, it felt more like a scoff, but it woke me up completely.

“Why are you laughing?”

“Am I not allowed to laugh?”

He quickly returned to his expressionless face and asked back. I responded equally expressionlessly.

“No, you’re not. It’s not polite to laugh at someone else’s dirt like that. Especially when it’s not even really dirt.”

“Alright.”

“Eh?”

“I won’t laugh.”

…This easily? Just as I was about to feel embarrassed about making a fuss, he immediately eased my burden.

“Then just don’t be funny.”

I stopped following him after hearing his muttered words.

“I’m naturally funny. So you’ll have to control yourself.”

He slowly turned to look at me. It felt somewhat different from usual. I hated that I could notice such subtle differences because I had become used to that steady gaze.

“Why?”

“Didn’t you say to control myself?”

Was that him trying to control his laughter?

“Was I funny just now?”

“Yes.”

“…Well, you controlled yourself well.”

When I praised him with a hint of sarcasm, he turned away expressionlessly. He clearly took it as 100% genuine praise. No, why am I able to notice the differences in his expressionless face? While I was briefly lamenting my remarkable ability, I saw him stop in front of a car. It was an old-fashioned sedan rarely seen on roads these days.

“Get in.”

“Why?”

“Do you always need a reason to help someone?”

“Well… no.”

“Then get in.”

But I still felt something was off, so I didn’t move. He coldly informed me.

“If you don’t want to, don’t get in.”

Of course, as an adult, I could get home fine without this car. However, the fatigue my body carried was getting heavier like a waterlogged cotton. I would have gladly accepted even if he offered to take me home on a tricycle. I quickly opened the car door and hastily said my address.

“57-7 Donddong 2-ro, Saetbyeol-gu, Yonggung Villa, please.”

As I got into the car, my still-damp clothes got in the way, but I ignored it. A moment later, the car shook and started moving. It seemed rude to sleep in the passenger seat, so I forced my eyes open. But it felt like someone had glued my eyelids shut. I barely managed to keep my eyes half-open, staring unfocused at the road ahead when I heard a suggestion from beside me.

“Hey, if you’re sleepy, just sleep.”

I immediately threw away my manners. I had already been polite enough. As soon as I closed my eyes, darkness enveloped me.