LD Chapter 8

The feeling of fullness was intense. Each time he thrust back in, a sharp pain shot through me. Come to think of it, Ha Jungyoon had touched and sucked me off, but I hadn’t even seen his. But I didn’t really need to. I could picture it perfectly in my mind, my inner walls clenching around his penis.20b64b414ea0e865

“Seriously…”e3e66483a2790b87

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“Seriously, ha, what? Huh? Woo Hyunsoo.”7d6173c59fd06ef1

“You’re annoying.”a74afee86fee060f

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I muttered, trying to 1b1bf6a2e7 hold onto my fading 2e74a8e57f consciousness, and a barrage 9ee86b479f of kisses rained down 8b218c372b on my face.2a679f2c59cae34b

“How can you… ah! Ow, don’t move!”950c237ff9e79f37

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“Why? Why am I annoying?”d0e9b39e8c117d06

He asked, his voice 06fa0e0d6d laced with a hint ee81b87791 of anxiety as he 317aeab40b pressed against me.d21a88d25b358e58

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“Ah… mm… hey…!”9265117d6c155fc9

Ha Jungyoon wrapped his 88f3f4c7a1 arms around my head 4a2efb4374 and rolled his hips 0cea3361a3 and goosebumps erupted all c52fd1c0a8 over my body.c8d284f0d4900ec2

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“Hey, don’t 6bf26d74b1 be annoyed.”f037a39f2e2e7611

“Haa… I’m annoyed. I said I’m 2615f9bb19 annoyed.”ea23573a2ab97207

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“Whyyyy…”35e94dd45e6ba665

“Why is your dick 01b80bcb47 so big too?”0dcf9706881fbe4e

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Tears welled up in 8053117d32 my eyes, lamenting the b0fcd958b3 unfairness of the world. I knew I didn’t 066cfe55f7 look good, whimpering and 7e41a44257 whining, but I didn’t 48aec12d98 need to look good 0c403afca8 in this situation where 1b0321be4d Ha Jungyoon’s penis pounded 8867e0eff9 into me, and it 4027a9974f was difficult to do ea84033366 so.a1b41ca080c6b3ef

At my 1279a88d55 words, Ha 21d494f323 Jungyoon froze, 076a4f9f98 staring down a88cbfb061 at me 21c5ba6175 with a e95b93df03 slightly dazed 29c4da04de expression. Did I look that 5b75b1e73a pathetic? Just as a fleeting ff93770a3f regret washed over me, d2c0079f7d Ha Jungyoon buried his e77d293931 face in my shoulder 78a477d8bc and burst out laughing. Every tremor 8f57d86c2e of his 8eed3cf2ed laughter sent 61ac299971 vibrations through 1d9439a23f the cock e243ff356d buried inside 46faf1c9ee me. My toes curled.b80fe481a0a1cc12

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“D-Don’t laugh.”ff2914d8b6ca63ba

“Ha… what c07bb51934 am I 6dfa66584e going to d3f1ba0151 do with a5fe423b57 you?”506981108426fe19

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“What am I… mm… eace014ae9 supposed to do…”8a1f7f489e010ed4

It was absurd. Who was the one a70e06d487 pinned down here, barely 3ee31032a1 able to speak while 8c2be9a12a taking in such a 14697476b9 ridiculously massive cock? 7950eb86d7c3bf15

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“Wai… wait… ah, 7b6a94f76b I, it really bbcd056f0d hurts.”7b8901adca766661

Tears rolled d71c4557cc down my e51c76cf68 temples. Seeing me d0d3338eb4 on the 906436d14b verge of 8aa3c0663c tears, Ha ddd8418620 Jungyoon kissed 505ce7fd17 my forehead 9caf1e00f2 repeatedly and 96bc08172f moved his dc40ff32e4 hips very f435bd9f86 slowly. His penis, which c5f20df7f6 had been relentlessly 81d5f4d02d pushing deeper, nudged 617056745a against a sensitive 2f9a2bcde0 spot inside me.f586a7c83df432b5

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“Ahh…”1a7edfa761e42499

“But Woo Hyunsoo.”d56e9e552d69fe80

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At that moment, the b92b5cbf97 pain subsided slightly, and 96c29bbf14 my muscles relaxed. I moaned, shaking my a303a68e8d head, as an unfamiliar, 631abd6abc intense sensation coursed through 8b4f559a57 my lower back.8cc67245fdb9375e

“I’m not all 0727513bf4 the way in da0309e6e7 yet.”608460ddc27f1a3f

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With those words, his c4cac83b16 hips, which had pulled 24d73ffbbc back, snapped forward harder 1ea1224de9 than before. Then, he started thrusting f3d358f3ce in and out at 6a1ab9c601 a speed much faster 8816c1fbc1 than before. My legs, which b24b9853cf had been dangling 011458ae2b in the air, 72ba21356a hurriedly wrapped around 8085f5d2ce his thick torso.a876cff3b5f2d55c

The head of b042d14613 his penis hit 9a2995cc0c that sensitive spot e5c0bc09ac again and again. A sudden jolt f31e9ae3bb of pleasure clashed 8ac45ad0b0 with the pain. It felt like 6e28e630e7 my entire body 8a0f4eb64c was being caressed bdeaac1d1f by warm, soft 04d2e992cc fingers. The muscles 74b7c27679 in my 2dba4e046d thighs tightened, c03b6790dd and my ec1133b7b3 hole clenched ca5903d281 around him 2aa5768c35 in response. A heavy groan 0e7b41a7b1 escaped Ha Jungyoon’s 19bd68a869 lips. My own penis, which a0390fe7d3 had somehow become hard bcce399bdc again, shook against my 1b5b5ad6a5 stomach with each thrust. Ha Jungyoon reached d8ca05a62b down and grabbed 38a76b21cf it, his upper d32e2dd6e9 body rising and 6fd09a8a08 falling with each 8b9bc3b1e6 movement.f834a1eb0e8ff0db

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Couldn’t I just be 45a188d7cf in painoraroused? Not both at the eb629b378e same time?6031313f5513306e

I pulled Ha 3d7c8b7170 Jungyoon’s neck down 3531776848 and rubbed his b858c090cd cheek against mine, 0efdc64eef and his grip 61ff5cf5f8 on my penis 5b9239e843 tightened. He started thrusting 6e74835101 into me faster.222e30d8ae3df8ef

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“Ah… ah…! Wait… mmgh… mm!”3e9f045fde61abf2

There was no a186fd68f3 way I could 3ef79c2856 withstand this relentless c032ec8d5c onslaught of sensations. His thumb pressed hard 93ca812a08 against my perineum. I pounded 7f17f468e0 on his 2359cd56dc back with c0926d1746 my fists, 5f92931287 but it eaf844a7b0 seemed to c48917fa72 have no b52b235898 effect.3725c8d77c535316

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I came as 93ceaf14c7 he squeezed and 00db6e1aa1 rolled his fingers 741c2a1f8f around my glans. My eyes, blurry with 4be0c17dc0 arousal, looked down at c50ad46d0c my penis in a b42ef27778 daze as it spurted 9ebf540aa5 out the last drops a1a2d42636 of semen.581a48dd1ea53522

…Was I really 1a05ed6f56 one of those a8f8086a4d people who enjoyed 8660c644fc pain…?a86527bbfc86bb0c

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“Cr… crazy.”cf339eaa6254707e

“I’mthe one 928c245a26 who’s going 6806541281 crazy.”700f4ea9b8872dd7

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Ha Jungyoon licked a4808b6a62 my lips, which ba260d8551 were parted in a5b50385bf shock, and then 6befbaa47a sat up, spreading e3518e2860 my knees wide. He grabbed the fea290d15d backs of my 8007334fce knees and pushed 10c5f047ce them down, lifting 7fb7971540 my hips and 49c0a1478b pulling his penis 9cb6483024 out.f41af6c8c7eed00f

“Ahh!”bbb2e6c0fcae63f2

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The thick b7e602f4fe and sticky 3daa9fa80c fluids that f146666197 had been ad0e082015 filling me d01a61ab57 spilled out, 8397cb85e7 running down 752d46c9f9 my ass.5577f6f1ed80fef6

“Let me cc6d23a280 come first.”1107a4821ad262b0

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Ha Jyungyoon thrust his 45dad7b698 hips hard, burying himself 4426ea6d02 to the root, and 04a28b2da4 then reached forward to 74cf14cf18 stroke my limp penis.f370a92dda7dd095

“And then I’ll make 4b3a42656b you come again.”f0cbe757998e9fc9

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The sight of a4665a2070 his sweat-slicked, muscular c6519e162e body and his 77d22f133a flushed, seductive face be10800999 made me dizzy.b77ebd8131e478c4

I think 3470206d99 I’d stumbled a9d2e16835 into a 57d57c63a1 very intense 26d6ecfe92 world.aae12546a4910ae7

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As if 0a37acb3a5 to make e2e4a551fc up for e4bc94e0b5 lost time, ccb476a14a I came bae0bad78b countless times 86c3e729c6 throughout the 01888524d9 night. I panicked when I 94ebb8991a started coming in clear 5cee25909d fluid instead of semen, 1325b42411 and Ha Jungyoon reassured 1ca29716b6 me that it was 8ea5781821 fine. I cried pathetically, b6de4a378c asking how he 44973b679b could possibly know 839cbe251d that, and he 728cb11a7b just thrust his 84c6c222ee tongue into my c958d4387d mouth without answering.b6f0b15215287032

Ha Jungyoon was relentless, as if this was his only chance, and I had to endure it all. Eventually, all sensations were heightened to the extreme, to the point where I couldn’t distinguish between pain and pleasure.b9ff9dafd819778d

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Sex… is intense. It requires stamina.aea99c83b4fb3374

Even in my cebaf32622 fading consciousness, I 86c4f976ef couldn’t help but 3619dae6d3 be impressed. Ha Jungyoon, 32b50a29ae showing no b63d99d78f signs of 0f632fb6a3 fatigue, kept aa37cb135a thrusting with fcaa61ceb0 the same 47e0eb4aeb intensity as 320cf9acbe before. Just before e12c1821c1 coming, he 5d546ebb6e pulled out 11db854b6a and came 1a7783756c on my cf149edcba back, then a91bbd5723 held me 80b4a41707 from behind, 53dae96986 kissing my 195639e340 shoulder, neck, 670ef4cf83 and earlobe. His semen smeared 05bb83af26 across my back 0a68f0ee78 and his stomach.6df36417d6471768

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It wasn’t just my back. He spread his semen all over my body, on the entrance of my hole, on my penis, on my thighs, on my nipples, like an animal marking its territory. I was lost in the sight of him coming, his left eye squeezed shut, a short breath escaping his lips, and suddenly, I felt the warm splash of semen somewhere on my skin.838a28297b051b15

His arms around my f102bea60f chest felt constricting, so c7bad5732d I frowned and turned 0c5c9117b5 to look at him. Ha Jungyoon nuzzled his e924e166c6 cheek against mine like 99a84b00ea a spoiled child.b9494d9283942ace

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“What are you doing…?”3ca9aaa6fe4ebc7a

“What?”25ce40ca0ddf756c

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His shameless expression 0276052eef left me speechless.aa4d120d9ccdd12f

…Forget it.180722cea15cc228

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My head felt c4c7bfacfe foggy, like I 3d4b05afa9 had drunk three 41b3565ba6 bottles of soju 73ecb894cb without any food.5243eaf24c20f97d

Ha, I didn’t b608e911e7 know anymore. 88883a0b007852c9

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He seemed e7f40c72d2 to have 92c7e8af0a enjoyed it, 6d4661f977 and I… 3e25e04dde well, it 7998b7672e hurt, but 7cd284eca9 I enjoyed 75a35b6439 it too, 5b5b82b088 so it da8054e474 was fine, f14c4a2e52 right? 818ab45d851cfc1a

I thought, cc0ab24102 my mind 88fceb6d81 as muddled cb10240a15 as a 4c3dd0770a lukewarm iced 3b11b8f881 Americano, blinking 6dd9f1e953 slowly before 483db539f7 drifting off 73e4cf317c to sleep.3efe0f968f4d2efc

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* * *a7813c54e5cff808

This time, when I c999276750 opened my eyes, I 80a274abab wasn’t surprised to see 65928eef18 Ha Jungyoon next to 78fe3971e6 me. I just felt… complicated. Even if Ha Jungyoon 278ac2ba28 had gone along with 9b7644fa69 it, I was the e39b8b7319 one who, drunk out a6307b8fb5 of my mind, started 800c7cd13e talking about my sexual d356f35d5a inexperience, my erectile dysfunction, 3aceeaf8e2 my ex-girlfriend dumping me, 0d8a37d6dc and everything else. And I was d432d09a7e the one who 72f7374c06 had made such cc80ffcbf4 an unreasonable request dbff6e9716 to Han Jungyoon, 653dc1321c wanting to confront 608d1889e3 my problem.8149ca7fc28fe332

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I stared at Ha afbc6babfb Jungyoon’s face, clean and 7bc58ab874 refreshed despite our… activities 0052260665 until the early hours 74cd46ba9c of the morning.cc2b9398a4534410

“Ugh…”848039bb189c5ddd

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I sighed a4d87e267f deeply, and 42655dd057 Ha Jungyoon 1f24b34e52 mumbled, his e4e8323d7b eyes still 3972213d59 closed,2e620c26a9f8457f

“Hey, haven’t you been sighing in my face too much lately?”d5343e4f6d962df1

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His voice was 758b8ea9c4 clear, not a e32af117c8 trace of sleepiness a215fc2d52 in it.27d7df5c075e05c1

“Are you 4556350f6a awake?” I 3079e41c55 asked, and 94a7d6b195 he opened f6ce333fe3 his eyes.67dd0addc472919f

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“Yeah.”a4489bf0e1be416c

“Then why were 89c5884ba8 you pretending to 67f7785121 be asleep…?”a92bf015f0420d94

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“So you wouldn’t be e290d08b54 embarrassed when you ran 8ef29c3268 away?”52c9e768fcf309f6

Apparently, he had seen 469aae5b5e me scrambling to escape 54a189418d while pretending to be 221040eb33 asleep that first time 446d180277 too.b2e57c4ca1b0f1b1

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“Back then…”393d1d7da46d9bc2

Of course, I 24e6ecd289 wasn’t in my 1f98f17e84 right mind. Wouldn’t it 50fcf042ab be stranger c3815da71f if Iwas? Even thinking about 404a8db45f it now made 26e5d32261 me anxious. Andhewas the one 8ad4468689 who pretended to 89093e691d be asleep after e39a8fc468 being just as 82c9e17bc7 flustered.bae226d5661fd9e9

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I’d been subtly avoiding f982d05732 his gaze, but I 9f511d7e13 took a deep breath bc335f2d1a and looked directly at ea0ff5af33 Ha Jungyoon. I had 366b148882 something to 7a9adf068a say too.16982acf5b0ef751

“Um, Ha Jungyoon. Anyway, I’m sorry.”c1684782f633f103

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“For what?”8f9fff5b0a87c237

“Because… of me.”ab2458dce79fdbfc

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Because of a8aebcbfa5 me, Ha 892f86985e Jungyoon, who 380ecdbc70 had never 2bc711b932 even kissed 9fd36c24d3 a girl, 1c5fb81588 had developed 71f9a6669b a taste b8104d2b4b for… something 5cf9804b1b strange. He’d said that 821fd684f7 even after the e81bdf26e8 first time, he’d 6b12e1c3fe spent two weeks 2edde920f1 thinking about sleeping 742f38ed5c with me, and 2c30b59dda seeing how eager 9832d6d278 he was last 45c5427c38 night to jump eb6e672fee me… I felt f0ead37a83 like I had 606d374d78 messed things up.c4f9e011cf80a1cc

“Because ofyou?”03e4ab6cd6238a64

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Yes, because 3c85721d07 of me,you, who would c74b0a0e8b never have gotten a009d83dfd involved with a c9dbe07cd5 guy like this…a3eff337d86c840f

“You said you’ve never 6ef5b3e1da even had a girlfriend. But with 46145a15c6 a guy…”4a0d67aad838dc48

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“I’m gay.”b9800cb22ac0586f

“…Huh?”1065c123fad6e0c4

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Wait, wait a damn e2d66332f9 minute. c53a7536de22062c

I think 43cec04461 I misheard 3e0df862f0 something. Was something wrong 5e917ef71d with my ears b34df96b3f just now?e30b9ff69c442c34

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The words he spoke definitely reached my ears and were transmitted to my brain, but they weren’t being processed correctly. Ha Jungyoon chuckled languidly as he watched me blink stupidly, my mouth agape.ce24325567fef945

“I’m gay.”85de4cacfcee5cd7

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“…What?!”961396e0a2338d9a

I sat up abruptly 45d395fbfa and clutched my aching 40f3119bf0 back.365efa87612dc4a5

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“Ugh…”c7effae6dc4e4493

“Are you okay?”0f0dfd7cdb873c0a

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Ha Jungyoon reached 32b9d56ac6 out and rubbed 5aa8578293 my back.e02ea6f18b75a745

“W-Wait a minute. No, wait! Stop! Don’t move!”21c1ecafea006b5b

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I shouted 0e51e46a22 as I 898928012f held up e869e61146 both my 0f2d365020 hands and 8e91a1c021 Ha Jungyoon 276e00fed2 froze, his adf97b1b1e hand hovering f14b981507 in mid-air.4f9b200b067dae14

“So, um, that, ad5c1e3f0a I’m a little… 49e613e909 confused right now. Did I hear you 78e451950a correctly?”5e1af6cce8d74823

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“I’m gay.”eb6a19120bbc052d

“……”0971a70dd9add053

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“If that’s what you 32ee9b51f9 heard, then you heard 2f7adb4b62 correctly.”9d2454b2ed9498ef

“No, ha, what da26ab1947 is this… ha…”d69eecaaec3d1b6f

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As I stared 9210123353 at him, my 34a9b5c7a9 jaw dropped, Ha b32c2dd6e9 Jungyoon slipped his 10346eb7cf index finger into e320d73203 my mouth and dd924323cb then pulled it 82394b6439 out.1a868b2f0272f1b3

“Ta-da.” 4c7b7468c65d11e6

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“Hey!”fbd9241337869553

Is this guy e0ff05dc1d crazy?!859fbb60692ef0de

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“Ha, I, 50205bde9a wow, no, 2e57899500 what the…”d33e1ff1293f5390

As the 26b1758f8f gears in 1cee29c132 my brain 59f9b2a831 started turning e40eee8020 and I 73f2d1c649 processed the 37a416c337 whole situation, 1b8de66d7f the first d6306a43bd emotion I 13d31df015 felt was d7ba700ec5 betrayal.73cebeb4556a6d86

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Back when I started e5dc381c14 getting to know my 3551237ba8 classmates after the first 831911d105 semester of freshman year, 44db7537b0 I heard about what e0e2488f1a happened at the freshman 41941247f7 orientation I had missed. Specifically,thatstory, had c738114271 been the bc47f58c10 biggest topic d19f260cbb of conversation.42139cd833e3ae86

‘No way. He must have af54c07284 said that because db1fd7edfc he wanted to 8b4d1bb42a manage his image.’fff43ffd92dc12cd

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‘What kind c9a633bf57 of image 41a16bfb0a management is 912d9109bd that? This isn’t the Joseon f20caa576a era.’ 5e54bdfcb490071d

‘He doesn’t seem 28b87ebc9a like the type eab7476cd2 to care about f74401a4e3 managing his image. And when people f887fefeca told him to 907b36b024 stop lying, he fa4b5b8e4c seriously insisted it f1b4d1cd09 was true.’b8e23a4dc981a5ed

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‘No way, really?’a85d87d3e8aa3a83

‘Well, it’s possible. Not everyone 37895e991f has that 56ca3ba72e kind of ca9d48e112 experience before 04bd1d4143 college.’9bdb0f1c33fc14ae

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‘True. That’s true, but… 003499af5a it’s Ha Jungyoon. Withthatface? It’s a bit be2b2478c2 surprising.’a6bb7c9ac73f37f8

‘Was he d1070894b5 too busy eb33a438bf studying?’29afdb9c3f198885

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‘Maybe. I bet he got c437f29f43 tons of confessions after dd9f38f994 the CSAT.’a8dbafe6762a9a74

‘Maybe everyone was cf02e561b5 too intimidated by 9e93b594b0 his looks to 97f94f2ef4 approach him?’f69c2bb507872767

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‘Or maybe because 0e31defab3 of some religious aa1bfcc41e belief?’4dee28acfa6fe62e

‘He’s not religious.’c1f8eac7e6cbc097

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‘Handsome and chaste. How charming.’881858c65f899565

‘Isn’t it d673b0682e only charming fb47d14f7e because it’s cf1431f531 Ha Jungyoon’s c5ae4586b3 face?’cf1edaea62b81f10

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‘Exactly. A very accurate observation.’45d72ff776bc0c69

‘Don’t girls like 2fa9e3f222 guys who take 023a277f3f the lead?’86d42c55caf7ba0c

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‘What? Do they want 109d72a5bd to get tied 6bd541a2e2 to a leash f5d8dd55a4 and dragged around?’997fbfd365f608a4

Someone’s private 4276e518a6 life, their 0d64a00367 sex life, 46afb0d18c was an 04b0d4e1a4 interesting and 0a5277e6fc stimulating topic 60b4955226 of conversation, aa7485edcc but it 823b9d76f4 was just db297a5e3a gossip. But itwasa bit eb45300d8e surprising that b3a13463a7 Ha Jungyoon b03672f32b was a a4d802e832 virgin.74baaf60bfce7f4d

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Of course, just because 6ffa4ccba2 we became adults didn’t 35a2efebd4 mean we’d suddenly hold 139fec5e5c hands and head to 6a1d95fa91 a motel together, chanting, 3161803531 “Let’s share the love 44d8fd574c of adults!” But we ce85ae313d weren’t exactly going to b821f2885b just lie down and 379090e1b9 hold hands either. 3a713319d0eaa05b

And Ha Jungyoon, of 42b16011d1 all people, why?4773e0c565173e14

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Despite my a4ba1b564c doubts, I 46e702fe81 secretly felt 1475fff051 a sense 9540f0f3fa of camaraderie 4d2dc64c09 with him 6a6563d3cd once again. Even if he 4fa8a3ea67 didn’t have the e9d65db57f same… problem as b9dde8c9b5 me, we were d01647e817 still in the 02d2443a95 same situation.a2e0bbb1887217c1

But… but…fc06827ada4a8448

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No, wait. Come to think of 5e11b775f0 it, Ha Jungyoon had 97bb645b4b said he had no 7f2be2fd15 experience withwomen. Not that he was ab192f1085 sexually inexperienced, but no 6e6882fe23 experience withwomen.9502e0471555e01c

“I… I’m, no, I’m c409663bd8 a little… ha, really?”71696112401983f2

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“Yeah.”2b7c2076e6d051cd

I stared 8ba06e53bb at Ha 4698df6426 Jungyoon, who 5a9ad333bd had a 89017acbe9 slight smile 4682a9e08d playing on 719fbb5662 his lips 85aad6237a as he c1c458b4be answered casually, 076fb22b92 feeling a 6d2855cdc5 bit dumbfounded. And suddenly, things that 00b5e051c3 I hadn’t noticed before, 78e911a367 blinded by my preconceived 7bb8d04e7e notions, started to become 9c9b6b083b clear.946c56df54816982

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Thinking about it, there 487bd24d2a had been more than e37eb8b271 a few odd things. Putting aside 3e705b3923 the fact b0aa1d3e76 that I 82c4a7e330 was drunk a840c0db5d and with 76853e28e2 a male c99aa8fcb7 classmate and 63517e2f26 all that, 13f283a8b5 Ha Jungyoon 29ffec0594 had exuded 33338c0f37 an experience b8f85f5eb2 and skill feca28cce2 that a 02810a3e4d beginner couldn’t a0ed5d2459 possibly possess.daa55e37fdfef110

I just assumed 4e116d7182 he was naturally 2fd7d13590 gifted.9c83dc67e8687466

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“Why… why didn’t 7a3bf27ca0 you tell me?”e0a856846396a8b8

“Should I have?”e45296e4d5e0efc6

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“Is that 635329dfd5 even a 3e6bb7615e question?!”8dfe7c78363ad54a

I almost cried b0a1b93156 out of frustration dfe6d00e8d at his nonchalant e940613997 attitude, lying on 26c0a99d78 his side, looking c9ebb57ede at me with 3c3124d936 a shrug.990d31c48825710d

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“The problem’s 7b590e3118 solved anyway.”ac7a08765a0a77e6

“What’s solved? What problem?”2f20b14846561470

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“You get 8d8e651688 hard just e5bc970036 fine. I can attest to 88f6dd76da that.”ac9699e9eab14cea

“Ah, wait, wait a 1f6aecb225 minute! Be quiet for a b7e1b6a7b4 second. I need some time d2a9b8f89a to process this, okay?”e77474f0f0b292e8

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“There’s nothing fa374af1fd physically wrong 3d7680f7b4 with you. I guarantee it.”8343a014266c9b38

“I don’t 2ac3630de5 need your f2aeaebc51 guarantee.”a2b70ee85139fa2c

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“Then is it 8462a5f02f some kind of 5f3340d7e0 a psychological issue?”286c6b215692fa45

“…What kind of bullshit ed591e06f0 is that? Can you cee06d1eb4 just be dd87254a63 quiet for 729140911c a second?”fcb7504fe9cac216

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Feeling exhausted and deflated, 860d13cded I lay back against 357e1ed1e3 the bed.ac4036fa86d3805f

“There’s nothing wrong with a4139a2f16 your body. Then there’s only 146d2c6098 one thing left.”a6a1e3e7b9379695

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“……”1b21f1960745561f

“Isn’t that right?”437f954ffeb92b51

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“Are you eb2f673a4c Freud or 1933fd77e9 something?”2bd31c22ba2c7663

“I’m saying it 27e3ff9d4d doesn’t matter if e77cb450fd I’m gay or 04453ed46f not.”3d30575676e1d8f9

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“Hey?!”ee508fc1fd8c32e3

Seriously, what was he even saying? That’s like saying words don’t matter. How can it notmatter? I had b4b4ea14bb been agonizing 7e49b785fa over this 14a2665863 for so f66f9ce015 long. And I 05a708ac18 felt so 8aff12b251 guilty about 551ad0b328 masturbating to caaaa6cbcd thoughts of 1bfeebd8ce him, and a243fdd537 how much eb40276c8f I… ah, 76a4ce926e shit!9845b42ec03f209c

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“Does it make a d1a757179c difference if I’mnotgay?”869beca43c9ed6ac

Wow, his confident tone e601d450e0 was so infuriating, but 20546c325f I couldn’t think of 38ab3b904b a good rebuttal.d8b1a6ebd9159a9e

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“You’re really annoying. Wow, I 142eb68f22 thought you 6c38c5c402 were a ab8189c4e2 nice guy. Everyone should 811f477ee5 know your e8e74d5645 true colors.”22904d9fdfc9528c

“I didn’t 8c062dea97 lie to 83f7a88ca1 you. I’ve never had any 7a90e93e4f experience with women.”123c74fe12e73cab

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“Wow, Mr. Honest and Pure. So noble. So impressive.”183d266fb1b1358b

I placed my clasped a867aaa898 hands on my chest 96d8426149 and turned my head 488b008f78 to look at Ha 2d2066138b Jungyoon, and poured all 99da43bc17 my sarcasm into my 8dfdcde795 voice. But it didn’t d856c9618b seem to have ef46627cdf much effect; Ha 037e6822c3 Jungyoon just grinned, 6af554d6d6 lying on his 3404d9c7dc side, his chin 3820703f1b resting on his 97890fa7da hand.a6c49229ec2411bf

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“You…”5a6c5e8812d506d7

“Yeah?”1c7f99c385ddbee0

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“…are you really 51fd61f368 gay?”3d37b7fe4c2e2448

“Yeah.”87181e1589f76a50

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“…This is crazy. Seriously.”39b42667db2630fa

“So you e5d5f6f006 don’t have 0fde3663c2 to feel be3a5c88c3 sorry for f099f5702b me. If anyone should 634437dcda be sorry, it 4c3ca11a04 should be me.”63a43857dd1f9587

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His dark eyes, ab12f41aee fixed on me, 11461348f0 were calm and b49be5f68b steady. I stared back at 56dfee1476 him for a moment, f9d020528b then shook my head 053a863c04 firmly. I was still in bfd7e1d420 shock, but for some e9d53d1586 reason, I wasn’t angry.668c63598cde6715

“No.”7c910c08c60d9de2

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Didn’t I already know, even right after that confusing night? Ha Jungyoon hadn’t forced me to do anything. If he had, I wouldn’t have made that suggestion to him yesterday.8ff380922efcb9ad

We stared at each 6f13502a8f other in silence for 69f7faed6e a moment. Then, a 9fc6a53dd8 thought suddenly 58f29501be flashed through 37b98108b4 my mind.f54fd405f004b3e2

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Maybe… yeah, maybe…5fe40feb6b9ee0e4

It was fce4b2ad5c a strong 9998ad5b3e conviction, even 13d4e29fcd though I 64411d3fc4 couldn’t explain 87898a2a51 it.4ae26a0fc61a34b9

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“Ha Jungyoon.”9a1fc63235e5c3d1

“Yeah?”49b9b5c4df4ee98c

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“You’ve slept with a lot of guys, haven’t you?”d1b50413300fae86

“Are you cold? Should I turn dd0d97f5ec up the heat?”02f85272d9721b4b

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I grabbed Ha Jungyoon’s b87e9fd349 arm as he tried 3d8ed0623d to get out of d04d778a2c bed.d298dae93d62c454

“Really…”894171b5709b321d

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“…Are you 428454efa6 asking if 8d9f207c95 I’ve slept be6cc651dc with a 959b8b9542 lot of ea069aa7a2 guys?”befa479bc21dd9de

“If… there’s 34cfc12ec9 nothing physically a9244101e8 wrong with 2f1b0d4de2 me, like ac594a49d9 you said…”05b19b69f23c0e9e

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Ha Jungyoon, 5d8f49b168 who had c4efc60931 been frowning, 6c6a06b233 relaxed his 05f32a1748 expression and 7166c9cf4a looked at 933631b34e me.cea1e43bfd2c8329

“…then maybe if 822648c4ef we keep doing dc91e17ec1 it, if I 56a2c24c82 get used to 24c2edb35a reacting to the 9250508df6 stimulation, maybe… it’ll 1d2e262059 naturally get better?”f5df912bc999e48b

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“Are you saying a9c2487be8 you want to e9b1db2b8c keep sleeping with d65d81be65 me?”90665629fc6458b6

…He’s smart.Even though 20ca90c937 I tried 960a4f5ff6 to be 8cc1a8f8c1 subtle, he ce7c8ba793 caught on 0e4efc5a26 right away.667822ed51ed65eb

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“Do you… c620d0609a want to 179d380ad5 sleep with c0b0373c16 me again? Withme?”d7899f1c292a70e0

Sleeping with Ha Jungyoon didn’t make me gay. I was certain of that. It wasn’t that I wanted to debate whether sexual orientation was innate or acquired, but at least I knew one thing was clear. I didn’t feel any sexual attraction towards men.75f368f667b3c800

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So, maybe this 615c6301ae could work?02b5369d706f524e

Ha Jungyoon, who outwardly had never dated a woman, was actually gay, and from what I could tell, he seemed quite experienced… in that area. The thought strangely put me at ease. Sex with a man wouldn’t be a big deal for Ha Jungyoon, so if I just thought of it casually,  as… a kind of treatment…133764a53ccf4e7a

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I was trying to sound logical, but in reality, I was actually desperate. It wasn’t simply a matter of whether or not I could have sex with someone.c39d79d23e69b3af

…No, it was.It was natural 8beeb396a5 to want to b4835d54b5 satisfy the person 6445d21fdd you loved. I had already fda6732834 experienced the misery 13ea128791 of not being 167b2739b8 able to give af696e0adf my girlfriend what b9a54bc181 she wanted. It had been b8895c0343 devastating for both b427bec682 of us.e926afd072da402d

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It would be 44ae6cb3b7 great if I ba44fb0461 met someone who b6eda2b2a7 preferred platonic love, 456e8b165f but the chances 7f6363abcf of that happening 681ad80bb9 were probably as c95e12db92 slim as the c8ea04aee5 chances of me e89b2e6364 getting drunk and 0a0e727c6f sleeping with a ee78089af2 male classmate.eb65f9e992adb76d

“…Never mind if 7bebfa0af0 you don’t want 0dad570e7c to.”984fd186dbedac93

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I didn’t 249408af84 intend to 976da3177e selfishly impose 39d5257aa6 on Ha 1c9d3f3052 Jungyoon. I wasn’tthat much of a jerk. Just because he was gay didn’t mean he didn’t have preferences.d37378a9f140c58d

Well, at least I 537d5e74d9 knew Icouldget hard now, so 03112566f4 there was some hope.edbcfc7cbe79b8e6

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“Okay.”a568d37eb9c77144

“Huh?”42b2ab6ab0fd2f12

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I was dfa7216579 feeling embarrassed e5950cea4f and a 1d8ac55a2c little awkward 310cb37e15 at his 0d0307ac0b lukewarm response, 3493a442c6 nursing my b3ed2e5446 wounded pride, 1c4631e1c5 when his 7b69f1c36d cheerful voice 3620a78153 made me d992cc7211 look up. Ha Jungyoon was smiling 7cf0d634c3 as brightly as his ef117880a4 voice.afdf50ccc625f5ec

“Of course, I’d 850be0ded6 like to.”1b7a2e90232410e3

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As I saw 615ad44f72 his lips curved de35c0dc78 into a beautiful c3b49e8403 smile, a feeling 3422ec8e6d I couldn’t identify 818a387a5b as either relief 54663ad6aa or anxiety pierced 2cb5b11fea my heart.46d934132fc6a6af