LD Chapter 2

After getting our food, we gathered back at the table. As soon as we sat down, the cafeteria flooded with students. If we had been even a little later, we would have missed out on the cafeteria food. I had missed this taste so much.

“Woo Hyunsoo’s undying love for jjajangmyeon¹.” 

Kim Jooyeon shook her head, looking at my tray.

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“What… it’s delicious. Let’s respect each other’s preferences.”

I always liked jjajangmyeon, but the cafeteria jjajangmyeon was among the best I’d ever had. I had even considered coming to school just for this jjajangmyeon while on leave from the military. So I had been really looking forward to eating it as soon as I return to school.

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“I should have suspected something when he ate nothing but cafeteria jjajangmyeon for a week right before the end of our freshman year.”

“I ate it because it was delicious.”

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“Yeah, is it still delicious?”

“Yeah.”

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“Eat a lot, then.”

“I will.”

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We had occasionally kept in touch after I took a leave of absence to join the military and even after my discharge, but it had been years since we last saw each other face-to-face. Yet, there was no awkwardness between us at all. 

As we chatted back and forth, it felt like we were back in their freshman year. I felt as excited as the freshmen who passed by me earlier, dressed in their thin clothes. I was trying to control the corners of my lips, threatening to turn upwards into a smile, when Jung Chanyoung spoke to me.

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“By the way, everyone was surprised. You suddenly went to the military without a word.”

“Oh, really?”

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“Yeah. Jooyeon told us, at least. You told even your close friends right before you enlisted.”

“Yeah. Actually, I wasn’t even going to tell Jooyeon, but she suddenly called and asked to plan our class schedules together.”

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“It was woman’s intuition, I guess? For some reason, I really wanted to call Woo Hyunsoo that day. Not even text, but I specifically wanted to call. So I did. And he tells me he’s taking a leave of absence? I ask why, and he says he’s going to the military? I was speechless. I’m still baffled. Seriously, what kind of secret enlistment was that? Are you some kind of celebrity?”

Kim Jooyeon got worked up again. 

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It was true, I had been surprised by Kim Jooyeon’s call while I was preparing for enlistment. Well, my enlistment preparations weren’t anything grand, just having meals with family and relatives, receiving some pocket money, and drinking with my high school friends.

“Jooyeon, do you want some rolled omelet?” 

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“Yeah, thanks.”

As Kim Jooyeon stopped eating and glared at Jung Chanyoung playfully, he transferred the rolled omelet from his tray to hers. Watching them, my own chopsticks slowed down.

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“Anyway, after you went to the army, Ha Jungyoon suddenly took a leave of absence and joined the military too. Our department was so gloomy. It was a dark age, so to speak. But why did you take a leave of absence after registering for the semester? No exaggeration, the school was in an uproar.”

The story about Ha Jungyoon was a bit unexpected. I turned my head towards Ha Jungyoon and asked,

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“Why did you go?”

“Am I not a citizen of the Republic of Korea? I went to fulfill my national duty.”

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Ha Jungyoon replied with a grin.

Oh wow. Seeing his face up close, I already knew, but his handsomeness was so overwhelming that I felt my neck flush.

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“Ah, ri…right. That’s right, you’re a citizen too.”

What kind of shy reaction was this to a guy’s face? Slightly flustered, I blurted out something stupid.

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Like Jung Chanyoung, I didn’t have much interaction with Ha Jungyoon either. During out freshman year, we had been in different circles, only exchanging greetings in passing. Naturally, this was the first time we were eating together like this. Yet, Ha Jungyoon acted quite familiar and comfortable with me.

As expected, this was the Business Administration Department idol’s sociability.

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Chewing on a piece of pickled radish, I stared at Ha Jungyoon in pure admiration.

But was my gaze too intense, or did I look stupid?

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As I stared, Ha Jungyoon smiled awkwardly, averted his gaze from me, and focused on his food.

“You’re so impulsive. Who just ups and joins the military like that? Ah, whatever, what’s done is done. Now that your class schedules overlap, stick together. Woo Hyunsoo might get taken advantage of by Choi Taeyoung again if he’s alone. I can’t stand seeing that. Right now, Choi Taeyoung is probably frantically searching for easy targets to play with. They say he’s a dog when he drinks, but he’s a dog even when he’s sober. No, wait, what did dogs do to even deserve that? Choi Taeyoung is just… yeah, he’s just Choi Taeyoung. So, you stick close to Ha Jungyoon. Got it? Hey, answer me.”

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Kim Jooyeon shuddered, repeatedly warning me. Well, it was understandable. 

Choi Taeyoung constantly made outdated remarks that even people from a bygone era wouldn’t utter. And he was known for making inappropriate advances toward female freshmen, making many people uncomfortable. Calling and making a scene while drunk was a given, and he would follow people on social media without permission and demand they follow him back. If a junior posted a selfie on their messenger app profile, he would, without fail, contact them and nitpick at their appearance. In short, he was a crazy nightmare.

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Ugh, spending my precious campus life with Choi Taeyoung? 

The thought alone gave me goosebumps.

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“Ha Jungyoon, please look after our Woo Hyunsoo.”

Kim Jooyeon said, looking at Ha Jungyoon with a worried expression.

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“He may look smart, but he’s got a few screws loose.”

“Who are you calling a screw loose?”

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“And if you two stick together, people will like it. They’ll be happy. So just listen to me. You can do that much, can’t you?”

“Seriously, this is ridiculous.”

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“You just keep eating your jjajangmyeon.”

As if she couldn’t be bothered to respond, Kim Jooyeon waved her hand dismissively at me and resumed eating. I took a sip of water and glanced at her. She was still bright and playful, but she seemed to have matured somewhat in the past two years. Well, Kim Jooyeon was a senior now, after all.

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“Your hair.”

As Kim Jooyeon’s long hair fell over her shoulder to the front, Jung Chanyoung, sitting next to her, gently brushed it back. His touch looked very gentle, careful, and natural. In the warm cafeteria, packed with people, I felt an inexplicable chill.

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“Speaking of which…” Perhaps because of that, my mouth ran on its own. “Since when did you two get so close? You weren’t this close during our freshman year…”

“Ah.”

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Kim Jooyeon nodded and replied nonchalantly to my deliberately casual question.

“Jung Chanyoung and I…”

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My hand gripping on my chopsticks tightened.

“…are dating.”

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It was a casual confession from her, but my heart plummeted.

“It hasn’t been long. Ah, but everyone’s going crazy because it’s the first couple in our department in a while. Their eyes are gleaming with madness, demanding we treat them to drinks. It’s scary. That’s murderous intent, pure murderous intent. Anyway, we’re all getting together for drinks this Friday, whether they’re our classmates or not. You have to come too. I’d be disappointed if you didn’t. Let’s have fun, okay? Huh?”

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I didn’t know what to say to her bright, smiling face, so I just forced a smile.

* * *

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I went to a co-ed high school. Actually, even though it was co-ed, classes were separated by gender, so there weren’t many opportunities to interact with girls. That’s why it was unexpected.

One of the girls on the same floor confessed her feelings to me. And at a very crucial time, about a hundred days before the College Scholastic Ability Test (CSAT)², with only about 10 minutes left before lunch break.

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‘Ah… uh… this is quite unexpected timing, isn’t it?’

I had occasionally heard that someone liked me, but this was the first time someone had confessed directly, so I was inwardly flustered.

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At my ambiguous reaction, the girl, wearing a school uniform top and gym pants, scoffed.

‘Timing is everything. It’ll be too late after the CSAT. The competition gets too fierce.’

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‘Not really. I don’t think so.’

‘Dummy.’

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‘…So, you called me out to the backyard during lunch break to confess? Just like this, so suddenly?’

‘Yeah. I saw you eating in the cafeteria today, and I couldn’t hold it in anymore. I really want to go out with you. I can’t stand the thought of you dating someone else.’

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It was incredibly honest and assertive. I stared at the small girl, who barely reached my shoulders. Then, a smirk escaped my lips. I noticed the tension and impatience filling her determined eyes.

‘Do you like me?’

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At my question, the girl frowned.

‘Am I a psychopath? Would I ask you out if I didn’t like you? And I’m starting to feel incredibly embarrassed because you seem to be avoiding my question.’

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‘Cute.’

‘…Whatever. Just answer me. Yes or no?’

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Looking at her flushed, round cheeks, I replied,

‘Okay. Yes.’

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There was no reason to reject someone who liked me enough to be this bold. That’s how I got my first girlfriend, and that relationship became my first and last.

“Haa.”

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I flopped onto the bed, staring at the empty ceiling, and let out a long sigh.

I tried to act natural, but Kim Jooyeon snapped at me, asking why I was smiling like that.

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“Haa….”

Sighs continued to escape my lips.

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The day after high school graduation, I received the expected, and also anticipated breakup text. I can’t say it wasn’t bittersweet, but it wasn’t that shocking either. The reason for the breakup was entirely my fault. I was only grateful and sorry to my girlfriend for enduring and waiting until then.

At first, I didn’t think much of the trauma left by my first relationship. I consoled myself that it was because it was my first time, everything was awkward and clumsy, and it would be different with a new partner. And I was confident. Confident that it would be different from the first time.

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Then I entered college and met Kim Jooyeon. And soon, I developed feelings for her that went beyond friendship. It wasn’t quite the grand emotion of love. I just liked Kim Jooyeon. Kim Jooyeon was always confident, assertive, and bright. Being with her was always fun, and she made me laugh.

The reason I didn’t confess, even though my heart was completely set on Kim Jooyeon, wasn’t because of some cliché like ‘I want to stay by your side, even if it’s just as a friend.’ When my overflowing feelings reached my throat, the reason for my first breakup slammed the brakes on me.

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What if the same thing that happened the first time happened again? 

From the second time onwards, excuses like inexperience, unfamiliarity, and awkwardness wouldn’t work.

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To be honest, it wasn’t a matter of confessing to the person I liked. It was a matter of my cowardice and fear in facing my condition. Then, self-loathing set in, and I was tormented. I was making a big fuss all by myself. I wondered what kind of crazy situation I was in.

I thought things might get better after the military…

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“Woo Hyunsoo, you pathetic bastard.”

I was incredibly pathetic, pitiful, and… well, just a fool.

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“Seriously pathetic. Even after serving in the military.”

Ha, right. Now that I’d even been to the military, I really needed to get my act together. Kim Jooyeon has a boyfriend now.

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* * *

“Oh?”

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“Woo Hyunsoo.”

I let out something akin to a hollow laugh when I spotted Ha Jungyoon as soon as I entered the lecture hall.

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During the first week of my return, Ha Jungyoon was in almost every class I took. Since we took our leaves of absence and returned around the same time, it was inevitable that we’d have many overlapping classes.

It seemed Ha Jungyoon was alone in this class, as the juniors he was with in the previous lecture weren’t present. Seeing a familiar face was welcoming, but I wasn’t yet close enough to Ha Jungyoon to feel entirely comfortable, so I hesitated for a moment.

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Should I sit next to him?

Just then, a voice from behind me prompted me to quickly take the seat next to Ha Jungyoon.

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“Hey, Woo Hyunsoo.”

“Uh… hello.”

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Sitting by the window, next to Ha Jungyoon, I peeked my head out from behind him to greet Choi Taeyoung. Ha Jungyoon also gave a perfunctory nod. Perhaps sensing the blatant lack of enthusiasm in his greeting, Choi Taeyoung grumbled something and went to sit somewhere in the middle of the lecture hall. 

I breathed a small sigh of relief, having worried he might sit nearby. Ha Jungyoon, resting his chin on his hand, looked at me and asked,

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“You really hate that hyung, don’t you?”

“Oh? Ah… yeah, I do.”

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It wasn’t something to hide, so I confessed my true feelings.

“There are people you dislike this openly?”

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“What? Of course. I’m not some kind of saint.”

I leaned back in my chair, then realized I was still wearing my backpack.

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“Oh, you’re not a saint?”

Ha Jungyoon was really sociable. I put my backpack down on the desk, took out my book, and said,

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“Choi Taeyoung really bothered Kim Jooyeon during our freshman year. She had a hard time because of him. He spread rumors about her, called her while drunk, and kept asking her to meet him and all. Back then, a senior felt like such an important figure, you know? Even though he was only a year older, he felt like someone much higher up. So, she couldn’t really say anything. If it were now, she would have just crushed him.”

Imagining Kim Jooyeon crushing Choi Taeyoung made me feel better.

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“Really?”

“Yeah. Ugh, I really hate him. He should have just stayed in the military. Eh, no, wait. What did the military even do to deserve that?”

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I shook my head and clicked my tongue, and Ha Jungyoon gave me a thumbs up.

“Oh, patriotism.”

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“What are you talking about?”

His completely out-of-context admiration was so absurd that I burst out laughing. I chuckled softly and nudged Ha Jungyoon with my elbow. Just then, the professor entered the lecture hall. I straightened up from my relaxed posture and focused on the professor, who began the lecture immediately.

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* * *

“Ugh, it’s cold. Let’s go in.”

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“Uh, yeah.”

Somehow, I ended up at the bar with Ha Jungyoon. All week, Kim Jooyeon had been sending me threatening messages, saying she’d make my life at school very difficult if I didn’t come to the gathering tonight.

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To be honest, I was a little hesitant, but I was planning on going anyway. It was also an opportunity to finally put an end to these lingering, pathetic feelings. Even though it was one-sided, it wasn’t fair to Kim Jooyeon or Jung Chanyoung to drag these feelings on any longer.

I stared at the building with a determined expression, took a deep breath, and followed Ha Jungyoon up the stairs to the second floor.

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As I opened the door and stepped inside, the familiar smell hit me. The five senses were amazing. My sense of smell remembered the scent of this place. The smell of various snacks, oil, alcohol, and people.

“Wow, this smell.”

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I muttered unconsciously, and Ha Jungyoon turned around and chuckled. I wasn’t a heavy drinker, but this was the place where I often came with my classmates for a beer after exams, when the weather was good or bad, when I felt particularly happy or down, or just whenever there was an excuse or opportunity. It was a typical college bar with a variety of snacks and affordable prices.

Of course, there were now quite a few trendy and stylish bars near the school, the kind often called “aesthetic bars,” but those places were frequented more by people visiting the area than by students.

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Looking around at the tables and chairs stained with the smell of food and the unassuming interior worn by the hands of countless students, I headed towards the corner table where my classmates and juniors were gathered. As I approached the table, a female classmate I hadn’t seen in almost two years jumped up and clapped her hands.

“Wow, a two-shot of Ha Jungyoon and Woo Hyunsoo. This is enough for me, prefect, perfect.”

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Her expression was serious, devoid of any humor.

“Thanks for the welcome.”

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“You came?”

“Man, it’s been so long!”

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“How could you run off to the military without a word?”

“You guys should have hung out together earlier. I’m graduating this year, so it’s a shame.”

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“Did you really have to take your leaves of absence at the same time? Are you guys that cruel?”

“Hello, hyungs.”

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“Move in a bit. Let me make some room.”

At the barrage of disjointed greetings, Ha Jungyoon pointed towards the door and asked, 

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“Are you already drunk? Should we just go?” 

Kim Jooyeon, chewing vigorously on dried pollack, gestured with her hand.

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“Go where? It’s just getting started. Sit down, now.”

 

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