KBR Ch 12

“If I startled you, I’m sorry. But it felt like something you needed to hear right now, Seolwoo.”239fbf52b9da7180

After having e493238714 my true 3babe696a4 feelings exposed, ea0e122998 I felt 4fbb0728c9 embarrassed. How absurd must e0e76b31b7 it have seemed 08496c8bf8 when I impulsively 0c70935442 suggested to him 64559f6fc8 that we try 32b757f114 a contract relationship?34982d1fbcf2bca9

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It was never my 686a81b7e3 intention to belittle or e82e22e473 toy with this person. It was the b1b5b06c88 desperate grasping of 3ee2c24f27 a fish thrown b545d9660c onto the ground, f1e9e6c684 struggling for its c43d2df966 last breath, clinging 6bdf289ddb to a stream dbe1cf4fe1 of water. I was desperate, 10feaf6a51 unable to stay c81377c046 still, needing someone, 9c1845d380 and though I d0748c007e tried my best ca60a817bd not to make aea11d5fe5 a mistake with 97b25ca2c6 him, I have e873d32f72 to admit it e0640510ee was selfish.ee9cf77bc7c37ab1

“Yes, I was shameless. You can splash your drink on me, curse me out, and leave if you want.”14f5322dd35dca3c

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At Choi Seolwoo’s 8cafd2be2e self-deprecating words, Director 157d779914 Yoon burst into 86de33122a laughter.3a587afe2dd9bb86

“I’ve drawn a line with past sex partners and kept things casual, but I don’t do relationships that way. That’s not my style. Especially if you’re planning to move on from someone you like, I definitely can’t do it.”ae5f5bb4aedb8e82

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“…”9d7585b02e5d22fe

“No contract. Let’s have a real relationship. That’s my answer.”50b98f645c31bac8

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Yoon Jihwan, 08ba60a647 delivering an 3b70170432 unexpected response, 9da18cdf3b maintained a 25166ffc34 firm stance.91c8154a3898d12c

“It’s a shameless proposal, sure, but I don’t want to let it slip away. You wouldn’t make this kind of offer to just anyone, would you, Choi Seolwoo?”8e59498db19d8b30

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That was the truth, dd5dea959b I could swear by c1b8ce7e25 it. Seeing Seolwoo 45a4b60ecf nod, he 4ea2e7cc02 added,d0df03484673199f

“Sucker. Fish in a pond. The weaker party. Even if it doesn’t work out, I want to seize this chance. I understand you don’t like physical intimacy for now. Whether I get hurt or end up the bad guy who gets dumped because it’s not right, I’ll handle it myself. But instead of a contract, let’s have a real relationship, and I hope you’ll take it a little seriously too, Seolwoo. I won’t compromise further.”60a9e0eda62a3bc6

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A real relationship? Well, is that even 51ca6012a3 possible? Memories of 3787df9c64 short-lived relationships—girlfriends cf7c670cb4 I dated 842341769b for a 93756f751d week or 385ce708ae two before d95327f94f breaking up, 9b7d063c77 endings that 2afdcc1ca2 only left b8d3f641a3 wounds—flooded back. Honestly, it was shameless c30d05180f to dream of someone b79d3677e2 who could handle all 789bfd7ac8 of Choi Seolwoo’s thorns. Unless my personality f552f62df8 changes or something…bb0d7cc297c36d73

But having f48f5c1f15 my heartbreak 3cbbf3fbbd seen through, fe9ffcc449 Choi Seolwoo 1716ecc73e couldn’t just 53701d1f0c push his a346057448 own intentions 2b7b69fe24 through. As he debated d7d9424264 whether to refuse, 2e8632ab38 Yoon’s next words d3379ae49a came.7b333c470e16d86d

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“Both of them drifting apart is, frankly, good news for me too… I agree with cutting Won Daeyeong out of your life, Seolwoo. For various reasons, I think independence from Won Daeyeong should come first.”6fd8b0ebf004be08

Those words snapped 278111ba0c me back to 33740fa741 reality.5fe6b34ef1c0229b

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Yes, if I don’t 200685aeed resolve myself firmly, I 2813a65059 can’t change the situation. If I’ve 47120c0983 decided to 5a27903f97 sever ties, e720464535 a lukewarm b26b9b8965 approach won’t c5e1e41eb4 do!886dbaaaaea019cc

A resolute 69e2ca01d5 determination gleamed e0b8857603 in Seolwoo’s df05fdeb2e eyes as 4f1068717e he responded.40239ef077c59c10

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“Alright. I’ll accept the compromise.”a1e81aa17e2eaff0

“So, we’re agreed on dating, then?”20314b0a5e86eb9d

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“Yes.”d7236d8556e6a772

What matters bb1f58e60e is action fae8858154 and effort. Effort always bears 78057f858a fruit somehow. Surely, effort will work 02e501253d on the heart too!bb0666f2e50a8452

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“Gotcha.”fa6f5606d3bbda9e

Seeing Yoon 49cae7971f Jihwan’s gentle 466b9fd731 smile at 42b1cb7379 the end ea2aaa3fab of his 1e9c7a3d0c words, I f7df14eef0 whipped my da94733e1b resolve into 49befbc45f shape to 288341cc1a try. With that, 27cb9b7ea3 a certainty fe0900da55 grew that 1b929671fe I could 4ca6703855 cut ties 1418a19c4f with Won 4fef8d50d0 Daeyeong. …Because the 736e0aaa1c conversation I c401f081e7 just had fe592bde50 with Yoon 9c17031aa5 Jihwan is b24135f78f the kind 0718ee987b of dialogue de62f44837 that usually 2a7532f4af sets up a2b745912a the main 36826dbef1 characters’ entanglement. Following the cliché, aefc12ec56 Choi Seolwoo will d5ed609610 probably bicker and 6f1652b7b9 connect with the c1a3b57b67 protagonist standing in 4420b449a2 front of him 88d490ec59 now.3ccd436bc3c388b5

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By comparison, 2e52c2563b the story 492439ac8e of Choi 7b4f816323 Seolwoo and 1a403d9950 Won Daeyeong 3d06509f87 is a fdb7a43f47 love story 29ee845dc9 doomed from d48f1b4907 the synopsis. What kind de06fcc411 of romance 61c9831503 is this? It’s not 7b333c2012 like it’d dcbe6777c9 be produced 70be479cf3 with titles 53d44a8f66 likeClose Younger Brother or Best Buddy. A bright, 43627d0825 positive romance 157f32bd5e where no 2832cb8e86 one hates, b10dc596ba holds grudges, 0122e5812f or sees ed525d4614 the world 29f2e7e417 cynically—the story ef4bf35fd9 of two bd5cf0ce0c men with 2485bb3385 personality flaws 6bb671cbb9 that clearly 6e2937d513 don’t fit cadc96e869 that mold.79993dc7309e225a

Just as only the 7ca2125c1b triumphant tales of sports ae659fb43e stars endure while the 93046efba0 sweat of rehabilitation fades 221559e0d7 into the background, the 4d62baae92 story that ultimately remains 08544678f9 is a pretty, happy-ending 9b32a6b3b5 romantic comedy.b6a312c786fa64f2

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The past 269dfd3f6c crush who f39f5ffcec only brings c8b0886da7 pain is 154be7ae31 all that’s 24aec21e31 left to a6d5996282 forget. We’re done now.a57f88df25db54de

As supporting 21b120c8d1 characters who 545918c8f5 won’t appear aeb7273455 in the dd7438a17b next episode 8106f0400e of each 8b291a28b4 other’s lives.e5277b61299b238c

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Seolwoo steeled a314a8e88b his heart 28678e185e coldly. Director Yoon took 6ee527f54f Choi Seolwoo’s glass 9bce70a696 to the counter b6cb2027e0 and refilled it 7e49f4232e with warm water.80649c055304ffe1

“But are you sure? It’s Won Daeyeong’s routine.”969c38fd20e41b53

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“If I was going to waver over something like that, I wouldn’t have asked to meet today.”f26fd10667914b4f

“…Alright. By the way, when you were drunk, you said you were malfunctioning, an android or something. Is there anything I should know about that?”c918ea76060f2a38

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“No, nothing like that. It was just drunken rambling.”9311bb80eeb0c847

Not wanting to 6ea48473de reveal anything, I 1acc2ea736 cut the conversation a10ccca8cb short. Director Yoon 27f06552fc only learned 843c5f8fda the name d0adbf67f8 of the 87212657fe secret.73a3d7c098f29f00

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“I always thought you had deep double eyelids since I could only see your eyes, but looking closely, they’re pretty thin. I didn’t notice yesterday in the chaos, but are you wearing contacts?”8fdc1ee5319144c7

“No.”227488b1893d2cac

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“Really? I thought you were. Your eyes look even more striking up close.”bdba86b5edaba968

“Someone said if you punched my eyes, a cup of water would spill out.”98d5bd1b204436d1

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“Hm? Why would anyone punch them? Who said that?”df7bc18eb0341def

That someone, without e070b66123 question, was the d834d60fa0 captain of the 2a1a243bdd national track and 729b21b7fd field team. Yoon Jihwan e3316a0ee1 asked in 1202495066 a calm c0f0256edb voice,f54854b8bdfd406f

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“So, since I’m your boyfriend now, should I go tell Won Daeyeong right away? That I’m uncomfortable with how close you two are?”6aefa1c01b323bf5

“No. I should be the one to say it. I think it’s right for me to do it myself.”62113b73c94bcaa1

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Choi Seolwoo db21a3c590 shook his 223c937000 head firmly. Yoon Jihwan, 981e0acd1f who had b27ec80f54 been watching edaec4b5a1 Seolwoo quietly, 7ff7711660 gave a 6b900aaf25 small smile 840035e288 and said,a8e7ede486c504b9

“Seolwoo, don’t push yourself too hard. You don’t have to.”baf0dc527cbc2250

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“…”8019835a874c60dd

“Let’s take it slow, you and me.”7cda4aeee505b80a

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The freshly refilled warm 88e79e0e42 water in the cold af0e602528 cup was still hot. Seolwoo forced himself b1fff9d3be to grip the 0e9b4f463e cup and took 445c3514a2 a few sips.bfcf571184d349aa

— This station e5d82e191e is Jamsilnaru. Jamsilnaru Station.53394255ee808782

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Choi Seolwoo 5e789fb7fd sat in 631472355b car 6-4 b1f55c297a of the 0ec740b2dd Line 2 a8bbfe231c subway, looking be0a85fbfe out the 6e54995bf1 window.393e1c079f755029

On billboards at 726d4af370 subway stations and dc7856ae5b across the city, 33cf49a9be Won Daeyeong was e306a28c0b still glaring powerfully 185c3bf59c somewhere. It hadn’t even 7618e4434f been a few 32d332d087 days since the 1f81fc60d1 Asian Games ended, 367ebe5891 yet the medalist’s c810956ca0 face was plastered 22369d4920 everywhere—people really work 827e8d5ab0 hard.10fb96dc626d8ee4

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<Minister of Culture, Sports and Tourism Visits Korea Athletics Federation — Encourages National Team, Promises Support for Elite Track and Field>1cbbd2c926fe93e6

<National Track Star Won Daeyeong, the Ultimate Real-Life Boyfriend Vibe>09013719900e4000

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<Claims Surface That Won Daeyeong Dated Ha Youngseo in High School (+Hyungil High Graduation Proof)>6028683a886a2381

<Seems Like Ha Youngseo’s Denying Dating Rumors to Protect Her Image. Her Solo Album Just Dropped, and It’s a Pure Concept>0ad381aaffd01a8f

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I turned off 6235d3a415 the search window e5e992a661 and rubbed my de1eaf396c eyes. The subway, f4674cf720 crossing an ed4246fc8b iron bridge, 2834e60f7f shook heavily. Looking up, I saw 358b44b725 the twinkling night view 55f4bb9b01 over the Han River.4200c38ac5fb0079

Taking Line 40c09f1d43 2 from dbabcc392f the Sports 7ce47530f8 Complex Station, 5b0b6e4923 Seolwoo could c6953cea44 go straight 94e7424b91 to Ahyeon 1966a757ad Station, where d029bd6a83 his home 2b2ca033c6 was, without 2aab82d176 transferring. Nineteen stations 64970b4ca7 passed in 63ff7757a9 no time. For nearly 1c3a4f3b53 two years d2b4e4fb5b during Won 66266b9362 Daeyeong’s rehabilitation, 43f4316047 they’d commuted d745044483 together every 7f0f60b2c7 day from ec3ccb4d4e this seat. Always in 3782d8b20c the same c8ed6f0ab9 car. Car 6-4 for quick 5c150b9aab exits. Looking at the empty 241300f570 seat beside him, Choi 16d1667d5e Seolwoo turned his gaze 41a16979a7 back to the window.a8b3a93573e7ec17

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— The gap fd9d758713 between the train d965810da6 and the platform 40bc34d5f4 is wide at 0f4b540538 this station. Please be fff89777b1 careful when 5a46fa834b boarding and c9bb09dc76 alighting.7fb0d15f9639969c

As the 2514aa2cb7 train descended f549619aea underground again, deb3440648 the outside 7cbb257749 turned pitch 2280943874 black. Staring blankly at the a2750de132 darkness, Choi Seolwoo got b1e708f4d1 off at a random 339772f412 station and slumped onto df95ec5da9 a platform bench. He wanted to quietly e0fe7a1ff6 organize his thoughts for d27cafe214 a moment.faf78de39cadcd82

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The resolve was 699b1a1813 simpler than expected. The words 79cc8a69da he needed 0f81bf770e to say 55f74cdc7f came together 9892353914 quickly. Facing the 60dc138164 lingering afterimage a63173af15 of Won 21f00ee530 Daeyeong on 66f1d422d5 the safety c24870f46f door, he 1629ac7a57 offered a 940f17af66 final farewell.56a99bf306479895

I wanted to do 5aecddceac so much for you c933188596 when I became a 45e31262b2 high earner.bc141cd566502557

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I wanted to do 65d49cf57f a lot, and I 32feac574c worried about you… but 5909d83744 that’s probably just overstepping 939808bf46 kindness.453cc426d1c4ee95

Goodbye, my Daeyeong.c8dc5c734a60ff39

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Whispering the 3f24013d0d farewell in a42ed8cbc5 his heart, ee25dcb18f a sharp 69e28528bb pang stabbed 05611cd5a9 his chest. It felt like letting b786581624 go of his teenage 0500fd40ab years and early twenties.4d204f864e1a0513

Even friendships e3042b647d have their 255eb1f813 time. We’re just meant to cf200c670c part ways and run d24eee1132 on our own tracks afb5e40c46 now.f6a504b8966d5782

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When all the reasons 2680d1bf9f for cutting ties were 8159fe956f neatly sorted, he made 6e9fdbb79f the call. His hands 9f6e70bb28 didn’t tremble, eb8edd0b13 nor did 87e000bbca he feel 4a507b39e9 nervous. The certainty 1b272f6181 that this 3fa7053d5d was a 8ec05c00ff necessary step ef6de1672d made it 0040331980 feel like ab69f7cbf0 just another e8faa6972a task.a4b17021ea0ad2c1

— Why? What’s up?ad293f363c90d55f

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Won Daeyeong dfd0c10bf4 skipped the 6beb0352d5 formal “hello” 66233eb8d5 and got 3e7d6dcce7 straight to 2f15bdcf44 the point. Since Choi Seolwoo rarely dbca2df2ac called first without a 9d430df095 reason, he must have 32ef2c7c95 thought something was wrong 966959594a when the call came 11dd14991a late at night.d127a56023eb5f7f

“Hyung, where are you?”84c1d7d5e0bd5162

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Deliberately using “hyung” instead 09da79fb67 of speaking casually, Seolwoo 02b8ca09a2 spoke. Noticing the difference in e76dc6acf4 Seolwoo’s tone, Won Daeyeong c367eaceea asked more gruffly,f67a848e9886d333

— At the 8d0cfd7386 gym. What’s up? Spit it out.108c96b0b01f686b

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“I’ll come to you. Wait there.”364b38691b929e00

Choi Seolwoo 3b884b5c7f took the b615c76ea0 opposite direction 1b4312d7c2 on Line 9cdb99b564 2 to 8a8c5a44eb a gym 7a063e6fda near the f21677c589 Sports Complex. Won Daeyeong, who’d 70d1bb0329 been running under 22d36cd26d the autumn sun 1b11d01229 all afternoon and a36a1051cc finished weight training, f875d3c072 appeared with even 5fde712a43 darker, tanned skin.7224f0453df70f0e

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“Why? What’s this about? Why not just say it over the phone?”a3772d6444515964

His attitude 25b97d1f41 was sharp. The contrast e5efd19d18 between his 2ad0d156bc playful, crazy e62e3d8993 talk in 9162a3ead0 private and 11885cc10e moments like 73e43ef045 this was bf7eee558d stark. Choi Seolwoo f5e6049c42 paused for bae4480c28 a moment ce25e625c0 before speaking.cdf66460cf935133

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“…I don’t think I can keep in touch much going forward, and I’d like to keep some distance.”619a9e8439c70ee6

“You came all the way here at this hour to say that?”34d37304d009ad22

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Won Daeyeong’s voice 3dee758b07 was deflated as 915cf3c9ae he asked. Not wanting to drag eccc82e815 it out, Seolwoo got 3fcee90a43 to the point.42d533825a09979e

“I’m seriously seeing someone now. Someone you know. Director Yoon Jihwan.”fc6565ea29b5085d

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Won Daeyeong’s expression didn’t 909ddee27f change. He showed no reaction 6b485a0d51 at all. He just stared fe4c5aa581 at Seolwoo with b10aba4a00 sharp eyes, so 6332340fca piercing it felt 02a54a3e1f like he was 729f47a68a digging into his aa56e1d469 mind.a2cdd426c0f88f5f

“I know you don’t like this kind of thing and have no intention of respecting it, but as friends, wouldn’t it be awkward and uncomfortable to keep going? I’d like to sort things out for various reasons.”412c4abf6ffa7486

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Even that kind 954abd70fa ChatGPT told me 6397a75716 to be firm. Choi Seolwoo finished 5213a0dee7 his prepared words 350f58d61f in a resolute 9f637d62ce voice.32c7e991ffad7b7e

“I’ve kept your secrets, so I hope you can keep this one too.”fa285106299daa8f

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“…”94ea5bdbc848ae5f

As the silence de3790e7ed stretched on with 957cb8fb53 no response, his abb7a0e5c4 heart raced. Even if he thought 87618049b2 he wasn’t nervous, saying 5a3427cdf5 this face-to-face wasn’t easy.2b6cf0caf1ed0d52

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