1. Prologue: Age 23

<Lee Sa-eon>

Since my ex-girlfriend liked it so much, I got curious and read a BL novel. It’s been quite a while since I possessed the body of the sub male lead, Lee Sa-eon, from ××Friend.

To be exact, I possessed him on his 11th birthday, and just a few days ago, I welcomed the new year turning 23, so it’s been over ten years.

But honestly, how long I’ve lived as Sa-eon doesn’t really matter. What matters here is that I’ve possessed a sub male lead in a BL novel.

Anyone who’s read a few romance novels will know — just hearing the word “sub” brings to mind a character destined for heartbreak. That alone gives you a pretty good idea of what kind of guy Sa-eon is.

He’s the childhood friend in a love triangle — the one who, in the end, is left all alone while the others end up together. That’s the tragic role he’s been given.

If you ask me, the setup itself already screams cliché. But my ex, who reread that thing until the letters practically wore off, bought me the ebook and said:

“This novel is insane. At first, you’ll be like, ‘Huh?’ But the deeper you get, the better it gets.”

— she said.

To be honest, I couldn’t even finish reading that painfully cliché story and dropped it halfway. I couldn’t shake the feeling that, aside from the fact it was about guys loving guys, it was just another run-of-the-mill novel.

I mean, sure, maybe it got better later on.

The full plot is way too long to explain, so here’s a light summary… In ××Friend, three childhood friends grow up together — each taking the role of main Su, main Gong, and sub Gong.

After entering high school, the trio loses contact with each other for various reasons until they reconnect as adults at age twenty, enrolling in the same university by sheer coincidence. That’s when their messy love triangle really kicks off.

There were exactly two things that caught my attention before I dropped the story.

First, the completely absurd world-building where men can get pregnant. According to my ex, that’s something called an “Omegaverse” setting or whatever.

Second, was the sub Gong, Sa-eon, who suddenly ghosts the main Su after dating him — only to reappear out of nowhere years later at the main couple’s wedding. He even congratulates them before disappearing again like it’s nothing.

The rest of the plot was so typical I barely remember it, but those two things stuck with me.

And now, here I am — possessing none other than Lee Sa-eon, a character from that otherwise unremarkable novel, memorable only for those bizarre two details.

Well, what can I do? Since I know the future anyway, I decided to make the best of it. I erased the tragic pasts of the main characters, got close to them, and for over ten years I’ve lived as the sub Gong of a cliché BL novel, surrounded by peace and stability.

But never in my wildest dreams did I think that, in this weirdly peaceful life, I’d actually end up in that kind of relationship with the main Gong and main Su.

Of all the possible ways we could’ve been entangled… it had to be that kind of entanglement.

Just thinking about what’s ahead for us now that we’re… involved like that makes my chest feel tight.

“God, I’m seriously losing it…”

I muttered to myself, looking at the two familiar yet somehow unfamiliar men lying on either side of me, my face twisted in disbelief.

If it had just been that kind of relationship, I could’ve handled it. But a reunion after years apart leading to a one-night stand — and not just any one-night stand, a freaking 3P? That’s just a train wreck.

When I boarded the plane to Korea, I was seriously worried like, “What if those two are already dating? It’s been years since the story started, after all.” Never in a million years did I imagine I’d end up in a 3P with them.

If it had been just the two of them having sex, I might’ve felt weird about it, but I would’ve just thought, “Ah, so it went according to the original story.” I wouldn’t have been shocked.

But this? I don’t even know what the hell this is.

“Ha… I’ve seriously lost my mind.”

A hollow laugh escaped me at this unbelievable situation. I even forgot for a second that I needed to be quiet so the two people lying on either side of me wouldn’t wake up.

Only after I hastily clamped my mouth shut and confirmed they were still asleep did I let out a sigh of relief mixed with exasperation.

The scene on this bed could only be described as a “flesh-colored frenzy,” and that phrase fit horrifyingly well. Not wanting to look at it any longer, I let my unfocused eyes stare into the void above.

When I raised my hand to rub my face, the blanket barely covering my bare body slipped off with a whisper. I was too out of it to even catch the slowly falling blanket and instead let out a short groan as I buried my face in my palm.

Through the small gap between my fingers, I could see a pile of clothes — way too many for just two people. Staring blankly at the clothes scattered across the floor, I turned slightly to sneak a glance at the two faces beside me. But even that tiny movement sent pain shooting through my body, making me flinch in shock. My entire body ached as if it was hell-bent on reminding me this wasn’t a dream.

Judging by the pain alone, you’d think I hadn’t had sex — but got jumped 17 to 1 in a brawl somewhere.

Seriously, how could I have gotten myself into this disaster after barely arriving in Korea? I really outdid myself.

Cursing myself silently, I clutched my throbbing head and wondered what time the next flight out of here was.

This is beyond a mess. The 3P alone was traumatic enough, but to make it worse — the partners were childhood friends I used to cuddle to sleep and wipe their snot when they cried.

Sure, this world is a BL novel, but even that doesn’t explain why I ended up in a mess with the original main couple. And if this really is a BL novel and things went off the rails because of it, shouldn’t they have been the ones to hook up? Why the hell was I dragged into this?

But the most terrifying part of this whole situation — in a scene filled with nothing but fear — isn’t that we had sex or that it was a 3P.

No, the scariest part is that I, the sub male lead, was…

“Haah, fuck… it felt so good. God, why didn’t I know something this good before? Hey, how about we do this every day now, huh? You liked it too, right? You were practically losing your mind. Let’s just do it daily, no — let’s just stay inside you all the time, yeah?”

“Shh, don’t cry. That’s weird. You seem to like it, so why do you keep crying…? I’m sorry, it’s my first time, I don’t know what I’m doing. But it felt so good I thought I’d die. Hnn, Un-ah, I love it so much I want to die like this, still inside you. That’s how much I love it.”

…I was on the receiving end. The “Su” position, as the novel would put it.

…I know this is real, but I want to deny it. Not the one doing it — the one getting done? Have I completely lost it?

But how did I even end up bottoming? I drank so much, I can’t remember. I tried to recall how the one-night stand began, but all I could pull up were fragmented, flesh-colored memories, and I silently suffered.

“If I ever drink again, I’m a goddamn dog.”

I muttered in a voice void of all hope, but the more I chewed over it, the more ridiculous it felt, and I couldn’t hold back a scoff.

I possessed the sub male lead, and yet I got pinned by the main couple? Isn’t that just… criminal? Honestly, this—this kind of thing, what do you even call it? Whatever it is, it should be banned by law. Period.

Still reeling from the shock, I rambled nonsense to myself while roughly rubbing my face, trying to erase the lingering disbelief.

I thought the original plot was already long gone and buried, so I came back to Korea without a single worry. If I’d known I’d get sucker-punched like this, I should’ve just let things play out the way they were supposed to…

I shut my eyes tight, thinking about how it’s way, way too late for regrets now.

Coming back to Korea after years abroad, and the first thing I do is have a one-night stand with my childhood friends?

No need for long explanations. Simply put… I’m completely screwed.

📌 Summary: Korean vs Japanese BL Terms
Seme (攻め) = Japanese term for top; dominant role in BL.

Uke (受け) = Japanese term for bottom; submissive role in BL.

공 (Gong) = Korean word for top (same as seme).

수 (Su) = Korean word for bottom (same as uke).

🔹 Meaning: No real difference in meaning — both pairs refer to top/bottom dynamics in BL.
🔹 Difference: Only in language origin. Japan uses seme/uke, Korea uses 공/수.
🔹 In Korean BL fandom, 공/수 is standard.
🔹 In international fandom, seme/uke is more common.