INTM Ch4

He remembered a role as a knife-wielding thug he had once seen in a gangster movie. A light and despicable way of speaking, a brow that showed a vulgar pleasure every time he insulted others. Ah, ah. Soogyeom loosened his throat lightly, put strength into his neck, and made his voice as low as possible.

In his thirties, a thug who enjoyed seeing others embarrassed or in trouble. ‘Hey, miss’ was a deliberately old-fashioned word thrown out to tease the female lead. ‘Killer body’ was meant to be said to inflict shame, as if talking to himself while scanning the other person up and down, but clearly audible.

Ready, action! The slate snapped out with a clack, and all the cameras were aimed at the female lead sitting at the window table. She was an idol-turned-actress who had just turned twenty. Did they really have to make such a young child say these lines? Soogyeom, who tried to suppress the doubts that had risen in his head, put his hands in both pockets. He then drooped one shoulder and tilted his head crookedly.

Strolling over, he kicked the table of the chair the actress was sitting on with his toe, saying, “Hey, miss.” The surprised actress looked up in a fluster. Soogyeom then leaned his upper body diagonally and scanned the actress from head to toe with his eyes.

“Killer bo-dy….”

“Cut!”

The angry director’s voice shook the filming set. As he turned around unsteadily, he saw the director had thrown off the hat he was wearing and was glaring at Soogyeom as if he wanted to kill him.

“Hey! Who told you to act like that!”

“…Ah.”

“Follow the script, follow the script! What the hell is this bastard doing, making up his own shit?”

Soogyeom unconsciously glanced at the AD who was fidgeting nervously next to the monitor. He was a senior from his university department who had called him to the set, promising to give him even one line of dialogue.

“I’m sorry.”

“Do it properly, properly! Do we have to reset the camera because of you now? Who do you think you are? Get your act together!”

“I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful.”

Even as he bowed his head repeatedly, he worried if his senior might get in trouble because of him. The director continued to rage furiously for a while before finally picking up the megaphone again.

In the end, only after Soogyeom stood there stupidly and recited his lines like he was reading from a textbook, as the director wanted, was he able to safely finish filming. After that, he had to shoot the scene where he gets punched in the face by a male actor running at full speed and collapses, changing the angle five times. They would probably show it in slow motion multiple times.

“Soogyeom, are you okay? Did you put some ice on it?”

Only after a coffee truck sent by the actress’s fans arrived on set did Jaekyung approach and speak to him. Soogyeom received a cold Americano from him and gave an embarrassed smile.

“I’m sorry, senior. You didn’t get scolded because of me, did you?”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s not like you did badly or anything. When all the main actors are reading their lines like textbooks, if an extra suddenly starts doing serious acting, it stands out too much. He was just trying to match the overall picture.”

“…”

“The director asked me earlier. What’s that kid’s name, he said he should give you a supporting role next time.”

It was sweet enough to make his mouth water just hearing it, but Soogyeom didn’t show any reaction. If he got his hopes up over such pleasantries, his nerves wouldn’t be able to handle it. Seeing him laugh it off ambiguously, Jaekyung emphasized once more.

“You don’t believe me, do you? Just wait and see. I’ll contact you, or I won’t.”

“It’s not that I don’t believe you. I do. I’m making a living this much thanks to you, senior.”

“Don’t say that. Anyway, cool your cheek well, and later give Sehui a copy of your bankbook before you leave. Good work today.”

Jaekyung patted Soogyeom’s shoulder and walked away quickly. Soogyeom lowered his eyes while holding the cup with ice against his cheek. Though he didn’t show it, he felt like the inside of his mouth was a bit torn. Since it wasn’t a choreographed shoot, he couldn’t avoid all five hits properly.

The male lead threw his fist without hesitation every time the cut sign was given, not showing even a hint of apology. It was to be expected. It was work and filming after all. But if the counterpart had been an important role or a popular star, it would have been different. That too was to be expected.

“Oh no, your face is swollen!”

Juho, who suddenly appeared, said with a worried expression. Soogyeom shrugged his shoulders, saying, “Yeah.”

“The actor must work out. I saw stars.”

“But did you hear? They say Yoon Sookyung is joining Director Park Ho’s new project.”

Juho rattled off, as if he had already forgotten what he had just asked. Before Soogyeom could properly process the sudden influx of information, his brow furrowed. Who’s joining what?

“Why, there was a commotion at the cafe. They said Director Park Ho would definitely cast one role from among new actors. Did you audition for it too? I did.”

“…”

“Looks like you did? That’s what they’re saying. That role they said they’d pick from new actors, apparently Yoon Sookyung is doing it. The news just broke earlier.”

Soogyeom quickly rummaged through his pocket and took out the phone he had turned off. The time it took for the screen to change after turning it on felt like an eternity. As soon as it fully powered on, he was momentarily dazed by the notification of twenty missed calls. It was Euigyeom.

“…”

He cleared the notifications and opened the portal search. The main page was plastered with Yoon Sookyung’s name. The headlines varied – expectations for his acting transformation, whether he could put an end to the controversy, the Yoon Yichae effect, and so on.

Only after seeing it with his own eyes did a hot anger surge up. After all that lecturing and acting superior, this is what it comes down to. He said acting that just imitates others wasn’t good enough, but apparently even a complete novice who doesn’t know the first thing about acting is fine as long as he’s the brother of a star actor…

Just then, a long vibration started. Soogyeom was about to reflexively hang up, but he took a deep breath. If the phone had been off it would be one thing, but if he didn’t answer when it was on, who knows what kind of fuss there would be. He finally put the phone to his ear and moved to a place where there were no people.

“What are you doing not answering the phone?”

Euigyeom asked in a dejected voice. It was a tone that made Soogyeom feel suffocated just hearing it. If he would just openly make a scene, Soogyeom could fight fire with fire, but Euigyeom refused to let go of his position as the patient and victim no matter what.

“I had my phone off during filming. Why, did something happen?”

“You were filming for that long? Are you appearing more this time?”

“I asked what happened.”

He asked concisely, meaning to just get to the point. After a moment of silence, Euigyeom spoke in a sulky voice.

“Soogyeom, is there really no way for me?”

“…What are you talking about now?”

“If I try contacting father now…”

“Hyung, we agreed not to talk about that anymore.”

As soon as he cut him off, Soogyeom regretted it. Of course, there was no way to take back the words he had already said. A chilling tension flowed through the phone line, making it hard to breathe. He unbuttoned his shirt and ruffled his hair in frustration, but it didn’t help at all.

“You know better than anyone. Who was it that made mom like that… Have you already forgotten mom’s last words?”

“If mom were alive, she would have contacted father before anyone else.”

“What…?”

“If it were mom, she would have said my life is more important than the wounds she received.”

What the hell are you saying, you crazy bastard. Soogyeom forcibly swallowed the curse that had risen to the tip of his tongue and bit his lower lip. Why did it get so bad that you need dialysis now? It’s because you secretly drank alcohol all the time, stayed up all night gaming, and didn’t take your medicine properly. If you care so much about your life, why did you do those things? If you had managed yourself diligently, we would have had more time until a transplant donor was found.

“…Think about it. What kind of person is father? Has he ever done anything good for us? He’s the bastard who stole your college entrance fee that mom had saved up and blew it at a room salon. Do you think someone like that would offer to donate his kidney whether his son is dying or not?”

“…”

“Why do you think mom told us never to get involved with that bastard again? In that bastard’s mind, you and I aren’t his children. We’re just pawns he can use to extort money from.”

The words flowed smoothly as he spoke them carefully. It was natural, since he had repeated them hundreds of times whenever Euigyeom wavered. Soogyeom slowly sat down, leaning against the wall.

“Hyung… Please don’t do this. If father seemed like the type of person who would get tested after finding out you’re sick, I would have done that long ago. Really.”

The best option for the patient is to receive a transplant before reaching the point of needing dialysis. As soon as he heard those words, Euigyeom looked at Soogyeom’s face. It was a look that didn’t doubt for a moment that Soogyeom would agree to the transplant. When the test results came back incompatible, he even uttered words of resentment. As if Soogyeom had wanted that result.

“There’s no guarantee father’s kidney would be compatible in the first place.”

“…”

“I know dialysis is hard. Why wouldn’t I know? But the doctor said our turn will come soon. He said it will work out somehow within 2 years at the latest, so just hang in there a little longer…”

Click. The call disconnected. It was almost a relief. Soogyeom put the phone in his pocket without hesitation and started walking. His head was spinning.

“Oh, Soogyeom. The cafe members who came for filming today are going out for dinner, want to join us?”

As soon as he came out to where people were passing by, Juho popped up and spoke to him. Immediately, the image of Euigyeom wallowing in self-pity at home flashed through his mind.

“I need to go home early…”

“Just come eat and leave. We’re just planning to have some pork belly and soju lightly.”

He was hungry. It was because he hadn’t even had a sip of water since morning while traveling a long distance. As the forgotten hunger surged, he felt like his stomach was caving in. After contemplating, Soogyeom nodded. He really intended to just have a meal and leave early.

“My heart! Loves you! It says!”

As soon as Soogyeom grabbed Juho’s shoulder and shouted in a strange tone, raucous laughter erupted as if the ceiling of the restaurant would collapse. Since they were all people studying acting in their own way, they all had good projection. It died down a bit when a part-time worker approached with a troubled face to caution them, but Juho was still lying on the table laughing uncontrollably.

“Oh, I’m dying. That’s crazy, I really thought Yoon Sookyung was here.”

“This is easy. First, you have to be angry. Whether sad or happy, always be angry. Then you’re Yoon Sookyung.”

“Anything else? Do it again. No, why spend so much money to use Yoon Sookyung? I heard he’s such a blockhead he can’t even memorize the script properly. They say it takes fifteen cuts to film one page worth.”

“What’s that? Are you talking about an amoeba?”

“Amoeba hahaha…”

Empty soju bottles were rolling around by the crate. It was natural since over a dozen people were drinking together. Soogyeom raised his voice excitedly, clinking his glass while holding his chopsticks.

“I can do Yoon Yichae too.”

“Do it, do it.”

“Don’t pick up this heart… Oh, this is Yoon Sookyung.”

“Hahaha.”

Dry cheap pork belly, soybean paste stew that only tasted salty, meaningless mockery settling on top of the accumulating liquor bottles. While sharing drinks with people whose names he couldn’t even remember but seemed to have become friendly with for now, someone would add an even more meaningless story on top.

“For an actor to make it big, you need one of three things. Looks, talent, or agency.”

Then Soogyeom would go one step further and raise his voice.

“Or your brother is Yoon Yichae.”

Adding an exaggerated imitation made it perfect.

“I! Have single-handedly! Ruined five weekend dramas!”

If the listeners laughed, it seemed like it was a well-delivered line. For a moment, he could forget about the stifling reality waiting at home and the future ahead that showed no signs of resolution. Soogyeom hummed any tune and endlessly drank. He didn’t want to think about anything. The more he thought, the more anxious and hopeless he felt.