IMM Ch 2

“Oh, I’m sorry. You’re much more handsome than I expected. Why haven’t you become a celebrity yet? There’s a reason why CEO Byeon has been bragging about you everywhere.”

“……Did CEO Byeon talk about me?”

“Of course. He said Hyeon’s manager is so handsome……”

“Producer Yu.”

It was Ji Hyeon who interrupted. He sat down in his designated seat and checked his watch. He still had a gentle expression, but the slight downturn of his eyes showed a hint of discomfort.

“We have another schedule after this, so we’d like to proceed quickly……”

Another schedule? They had just canceled their plan to stop by the salon a minute ago. Producer Yu, who naturally didn’t know this, said they should start right away and sat across from Ji Hyeon. The cameras for recording were already set up, so as soon as Eunho sat down, the briefing began.

“As I mentioned before……”

‘Is he feeling that unwell?’

Eunho kept his attention focused on Ji Hyeon, even as he examined the proposal in front of him. The number of people who shook his hand…… was about four. Normally, that would be a manageable number, but it could be different if he wasn’t feeling well. Indeed, he hadn’t looked happy even when he interrupted Producer Yu just now.

“Manager Kwak, this is your first time appearing on television, right?”

“Yes, it is.”

“It’s an observational variety show, so don’t be nervous and just act naturally. We’ll give you a script, but you don’t have to memorize it……”

Eunho grabbed the water bottle on the table, opened the cap, and naturally offered it to Ji Hyeon. Ji Hyeon, glancing at Eunho, silently accepted the bottle. The way he gulped down the water showed how thirsty he must have been.

‘Good thing I brought hand cream.’

Remembering the items he had packed in his bag, Eunho looked down at Ji Hyeon’s hand. His long, straight fingers were still gripping the water bottle. The fact that his fingertips were tense was something only Eunho knew.

💄

The pre-interview ended without taking too long. Producer Yu asked Ji Hyeon about his daily habits and hobbies and then confirmed his relationship with his manager and the names they called each other. She said that a script would be created based on this information and sent to them through the agency.

After the meeting ended, Ji Hyeon was the first to stand up and leave the meeting room. It could have been considered rude, but given his seniority, no one pointed it out. In case anything happened, Eunho left a message saying, “Ji Hyeon hasn’t been feeling well since this morning,” and followed him out.

“…….”

Ji Hyeon was nowhere to be seen in the hallway. This was expected, so Eunho crossed the long hallway towards the place he was likely to be. If he left with such a displeased expression, his destination was obvious.

The emergency exit at the end of the hallway, and the sparsely populated restroom next to it.

As he opened the glass door, he heard the sound of running water from inside. Eunho checked if anyone was around and strode inside. The man standing in front of the sink glanced at Eunho through the mirror and then lowered his gaze again.

“Ji Hyeon.”

Despite Eunho’s call, Ji Hyeon didn’t respond. He just kept washing his hands under the running water, almost frantically. He repeated the process several times: thoroughly rinsing the soap off his hands and then applying more liquid soap to wash them meticulously again. Watching Ji Hyeon wash his hands until they turned red, Eunho casually remarked,

“You’ll get housewife’s eczema.”

“…….”

Only then did Ji Hyeon stop moving and lift his head. Eunho, who had been making eye contact through the mirror for a while, slowly approached him and kindly turned off the running water. While Eunho washed his hands at the next sink, Ji Hyeon frowned, letting the water drip from his hands.

“Stop frowning.”

Eunho spoke in an indifferent voice and dried his hands with a paper towel. He roughly wiped his own hands and threw the towel in the trash can, but then took out a neatly folded handkerchief and offered it to Ji Hyeon. When Ji Hyeon accepted the handkerchief and dried his hands, Eunho took out hand cream from his bag and gestured with his chin.

“Hands.”

“…….”

“The back of your hands, not your palms.”

“…….”

“Apply it thoroughly.”

The hand cream with an avocado design was something Eunho always carried for Ji Hyeon. Whenever he washed his hands compulsively like this, his palms and the backs of his hands would get chapped. It would be a big deal if this guy, with his ridiculously high value, got a scratch on his precious hands.

“Why aren’t you applying it?”

“Apply it for me.”

“Do you not have hands? Do you not have……”

Despite his light scolding, Eunho held his hand and applied the hand cream all over. The back of his hands, his palms, between his fingers, and even the half-moons of his nails. His hands were ice-cold even though the weather wasn’t that cold. He wondered why he hadn’t used warm water if he was going to wash them anyway.

‘Acting like a baby even though he’s all grown up.’

Eunho’s hands were quite large, but Ji Hyeon’s long, slender fingers were slightly longer than his. Despite their size, his hands were beautifully shaped, and in contrast to their delicate appearance, the prominent veins were quite masculine. Thanks to Eunho’s meticulous care, they were also soft to the touch.

“……So.”

Eunho, who had been stalling without realizing it, released Ji Hyeon’s hand a little awkwardly. The remaining hand cream on his hands made them feel soft, which felt strange. Thinking that he wasn’t sure if he had applied it or if it had been applied to him, Eunho asked in a slightly softer tone,

“What was the problem today? You were fine this morning.”

He might not have slept, but he hadn’t been in that bad of a shape. Lack of sleep was practically a daily occurrence for Ji Hyeon. The reason he had been frowning in the car on the way to the broadcasting station was because Eunho had nagged him several times to “behave himself.”

“When was there ever a reason?”

Ji Hyeon replied in a listless, indifferent voice. He clenched and unclenched his fists, furrowing his brow deeply. The smile he had barely managed to maintain in front of others was nowhere to be seen now.

“I just felt so disgusted. I don’t know what they touched with their hands, and they shook hands barehanded, and then touched other people’s hands……”

Ji Hyeon had mysophobia. It was one of the many conditions he suffered from, severe if you considered it severe, and not severe if you didn’t. When he was feeling well, he could manage daily life reasonably well, but when he wasn’t, he couldn’t even properly shake hands.

“You endured it until the meeting was over, so it’s fine.”

Eunho just shrugged at the words that sounded like an excuse. He hadn’t meant to scold him; he had just asked out of concern. If his condition suddenly worsened, it wouldn’t just be about washing his hands.

“As long as you’re not sick, it’s fine. Let’s just go home.”

For once, Ji Hyeon obediently followed Eunho out of the restroom. He did ask if being an idiot didn’t count as being sick, but Eunho could ignore that. The only things truly hard to ignore were the warmth and soft texture remaining on his fingertips.

“You said we were going to get a haircut today.”

“How can I watch you get your hair done and then wash it five times?”

Such a frustrating guy. Eunho thought to himself and clenched his fist in his pocket. The part of his hand that had touched Ji Hyeon still felt warm.

💄

Eunho learned about Ji Hyeon’s mysophobia during their high school days. Around the time Eunho learned that Ji Hyeon was ‘Ji Hyeon,’ he still stuck to his usual way of addressing him, despite Ji Hyeon’s constant grumbling. It was partly due to habit, but honestly, it was also partly because he found Ji Hyeon’s characteristically prickly reactions amusing.

‘Hyeon, can I get your autograph?’

‘Me too, me too, give me your autograph.’

‘Let’s take a picture together after.’

Ji Hyeon was popular, and naturally, he received a lot of attention every time he came to school. So many people would gather around him that it was hard to even see his face from afar. It was an unfamiliar noise to Eunho, who usually kept to himself, but Ji Hyeon would just smile nonchalantly in the midst of it all.

‘Pictures are a bit much…… I’ll just give you autographs.’

Eunho thinks he must have thought, ‘He’s really handsome.’ It was also fascinating how he smiled kindly and affably, unlike when he was snapping at him. His gently curved eyes, his neatly aligned teeth visible between his lips – even such small details seemed like those of a celebrity.

‘Just one selfie, please? I bragged to my friends that Ji Hyeon is in my class.’

‘……My manager will scold me.’

‘Hey, don’t worry. I won’t post it online.’

But why did he look so down? He had never felt it before when Ji Hyeon was snapping at him, but his smiling face looked strangely precarious. As if he would crumble or burst at any moment.

‘The bell rang, so go back to your seats.’

So Eunho said that as soon as break time was over. He even gestured lightly to his classmates, telling them to go back before the teacher arrived. Indeed, the teacher arrived shortly after, and to Ji Hyeon, who had returned to his usual expressionless face, Eunho casually remarked,

‘You smile well.’

‘…….’

It was a compliment, in a way, but Ji Hyeon just raised one eyebrow quizzically. As if asking, “What do you mean?” Eunho just shrugged and reached out for the name pen Ji Hyeon was holding.

‘Put this away too……’

Clack! A sharp sound rang out. It was because Ji Hyeon had brushed his hand away roughly the moment Eunho touched him. The name pen rolled and fell under the desk, and a classmate sitting in front of them turned around.

‘……Ah.’

For a fleeting moment, Eunho clearly saw a look of dismay flash across Ji Hyeon’s face. The back of his hand stung, but that’s why he kept a straight face, pretending nothing was wrong. Eunho bent down, picked up the name pen that had fallen on the floor, and placed it neatly next to Ji Hyeon’s desk.

‘Sorry, I dropped it.’

There was no reply. Only an unreadable gaze flickered once at the name pen and then at Eunho’s face. Ji Hyeon, who remained still for a long while, finally raised his slightly trembling hand.

‘Teacher, I don’t feel well…… can I go to the nurse’s office?’

Because Ji Hyeon looked truly pale as he said those words, the teacher nodded with a worried expression. When Ji Hyeon stood up and stumbled, the teacher asked Eunho to take him to the nurse’s office. Eunho silently stood up with Ji Hyeon, hesitated for a moment, then took his arm and led him out of the classroom.

‘…….’

However, as soon as the classroom door closed, Ji Hyeon straightened up with an indifferent expression. He walked down the hallway as usual, as if he hadn’t stumbled at all. Eunho, who had lost hold of him, followed him with a bewildered look he couldn’t hide.

Their destination wasn’t the nurse’s office, but the faculty restroom at the end of the first floor. Unlike the student restrooms, the clean interior even had expensive-looking soap. Ji Hyeon, entering the restroom, immediately started washing his hands, ignoring Eunho.

‘…….’

‘…….’

The sound of running water echoed between them. Eunho, with his hands in his pockets, silently watched him. When Ji Hyeon washed his hands again for the third time, he quietly asked in a low voice,

‘Didn’t you say you weren’t feeling well?’

‘I have mysophobia.’

‘What?’

The sudden answer was quite unexpected. While Eunho was pondering his words, Ji Hyeon added in a slightly apologetic tone,

‘That’s why.’

‘Oh…… I see.’

Was that why he said he wasn’t feeling well, or was that why he had pushed Eunho’s hand away? Eunho awkwardly touched the back of his neck and slowly approached him. It wasn’t for any particular reason; for some reason, he felt like he should wash his hands too.

Seeing Eunho subtly start washing his hands next to him, Ji Hyeon finally asked with a dumbfounded look,

‘What are you doing?’

‘Washing my hands.’

He didn’t repeatedly lather up with soap like Ji Hyeon. He just washed them thoroughly once and turned off the faucet, and then Ji Hyeon, frowning deeply, asked,

‘Don’t you even feel bad?’

‘……Should I wash them again?’

‘No, it’s not that……’

Water was still running from the faucet where Ji Hyeon was standing. Should he tell him he was wasting water? While Eunho was thinking this, Ji Hyeon spoke in a slightly mocking tone,

‘It’s a disease. A mental illness.’

‘…….’

‘I’m mentally ill.’

Honestly, he didn’t know how to react. He wasn’t particularly interested, he wasn’t surprised, and he didn’t really care whether Ji Hyeon had mysophobia or not. So, Eunho replied in a casual tone,

‘It’s not a big deal…… it’s not like you’re harming anyone.’

‘…….’

‘It’s good to wash your hands often.’

Looking back, it wasn’t simply a matter of washing hands, but at the time, that’s all Eunho thought. Since Ji Hyeon didn’t seem to be turning off the water, he turned off the faucet for him and added as if talking to himself,

‘And as you said, if it’s an illness, I shouldn’t judge it, right……’

Despite his perfectly reasonable answer, Ji Hyeon remained silent with his mouth tightly shut. Only after a long while did he lower his gaze, water dripping from his fingertips.

‘Don’t tell anyone.’

‘I won’t.’

If he was worried about that, he shouldn’t have said anything in the first place. Well, he didn’t have any friends to tell anyway.

Anyway, Ji Hyeon’s mysophobia, which he learned about that day, varied considerably depending on his condition. Sometimes he would endure it until the end of class as if nothing was wrong, and sometimes he would leave the classroom with a pale face, saying he needed to go to the nurse’s office. Since it was usually Eunho who supported him (although he didn’t really need support), he also learned that Ji Hyeon sometimes even dry heaved.

Mysophobia, or more precisely, a type of obsessive-compulsive disorder. It wasn’t simply a behavior stemming from the thought of ‘being dirty,’ but rather an instinctive reaction born from a more fundamental aversion. He extremely disliked being touched by others, so he would wash his hands repeatedly to erase the very sensation of being touched.

‘Apply it for me.’

And this guy was acting like a baby, asking him to apply hand cream. Without even knowing what kind of feelings it evoked in Eunho. Without even knowing how much effort Eunho put into avoiding touching him.

“…….”

“…….”

On the way home from the broadcasting station. Ji Hyeon, sitting in the back seat, wore a constantly dissatisfied expression. Normally, he would either close his eyes or check his phone, but he just sat there with his arms crossed, staring intently at Eunho. His gaze was so distracting that Eunho eventually had to ask him as soon as they stopped at a red light,

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Why are you looking at me like that?”

He had already washed his hands, and they hadn’t encountered anyone else since then. The van doors opened automatically, so the precious actor didn’t even have to lift a finger. So why was he giving him such a sharp look?

“If you have a complaint, just say it.”

“I don’t have any complaints about you.”

Ji Hyeon, visible through the rearview mirror, still hadn’t taken his eyes off Eunho. His slightly double-lidded eyes were narrowed in concentration as he stared intently at Eunho without blinking. Eunho interpreted his look as, ‘I do have complaints, but not directed at you.’

“……Do you hate filming the variety show that much?”

“…….”

As if that was the correct answer, Ji Hyeon’s gaze shifted slightly. Of course, it soon returned to Eunho’s face. Eunho started the car again and uttered words that would make CEO Byeon faint if he heard them.

“Should we cancel it now?”

It was an absurd suggestion. Naturally, Ji Hyeon responded in an indifferent voice,

“Wow, CEO Byeon will be so thrilled.”

It would be a miracle if he didn’t collapse from high blood pressure. When they had visited the agency with Ji Hyeon a few days ago, hadn’t CEO Byeon turned red up to his neck and yelled that Eunho should come alone next time? Of course, Ji Hyeon had smiled brightly and politely said goodbye.

“Why did you agree to film it if you hate it so much?”

“Because Kwak Eunho, you……”

“Don’t say it’s because I made you do it.”

“…….”

“You accepted it too quickly for that to be the reason.”

If he had truly been reluctant, he should have shown some hesitation. But Ji Hyeon had answered, “I’ll do it if you say so,” more readily than expected. He must have reached some conclusion behind that seemingly docile attitude.

“Tell me honestly. What’s the reason?”

Eunho asked in a softer voice, as if coaxing a child. Half curiosity, and half concern as his manager. As expected, Ji Hyeon, instead of making more excuses, honestly revealed the real reason.

“Because I’m afraid you’ll disappear again.”

“…….”

Eunho’s shoulders flinched slightly. He almost jerked the steering wheel and barely managed to tighten his grip on it. Unaware of, or perhaps ignoring, his reaction, Ji Hyeon continued in his characteristically gentle voice,

“Once you’re on TV, I’ll hear about what you’re up to, wherever you are.”

“……Hey, how long are you going to hold on to that?”

That was the only excuse he could offer. He couldn’t scold him for holding a grudge because he knew the sense of betrayal Ji Hyeon must have felt at the time. Even now, his heart sank whenever he recalled the expression Ji Hyeon had worn when they reunited.

“I told you it won’t happen again.”

But it hadn’t been intentional, and besides, it wasn’t when he was Ji Hyeon’s manager. Now, there was no chance of a similar situation happening, so there was no need to worry at all. Ji Hyeon must know this too, but he scoffed and retorted,

“You have to catch them when they’re first-time offenders. Do you think someone who did it once won’t do it again?”

“Don’t make it sound like I committed a crime……”

Eunho trailed off, trying to calmly turn the steering wheel. He hoped Ji Hyeon would tell him it was a joke, but Ji Hyeon just stared at him intently as if to say, ‘No way.’ There wasn’t a trace of playfulness in his gaze, so Eunho spoke with a slightly awkward expression,

“……I have nothing else to do if I quit this job.”

Eunho was a high school graduate whose only work experience consisted of odd part-time jobs and manual labor. The only thing he knew how to do was study, and even that seemed pointless as he approached thirty. If anyone should be worried about their relationship ending, it was him, not Ji Hyeon.

“So don’t worry about unnecessary things.”

Once they filmed ‘IMM,’ it would be rumored that he was Ji Hyeon’s manager for the time being. In that situation, even Eunho wouldn’t think of looking for a new job. This meant there was no need for him to leave Ji Hyeon’s side unless something went wrong.

“…….”

Only then did Ji Hyeon finally look away from Eunho. It seemed he had finally realized, both logically and emotionally, that he could relax. Seeing that, Eunho once again suppressed the feelings rising in his throat.