Chapter 13

Jeremy’s persistent kisses trailed down her neck, leaving damp marks as his lips pressed insistently against her skin. His warm breath seeped through the thin fabric of her nightgown as he knelt before her, his hands gripping her waist.

It was an intimate position, one that might have seemed submissive if not for the hunger in his movements. Despite being the one standing, Velita felt like she was the one yielding—her will bending to his.

Should we really be doing this here?

The open garden offered little privacy, and if they were caught, it was obvious who would bear the brunt of the blame. The scorn and judgment would fall squarely on her shoulders, not his.

Yet, when she recalled Jeremy’s whispered confession—I love you—she found herself incapable of pushing him away.

Love had a way of justifying even the most questionable actions, romanticizing the irrational and cloaking it in warmth.

He’s doing this because he loves me.

I’m allowing it because I love him.

It’s not strange. It’s not wrong.

Velita’s thoughts swirled in a haze of confusion and yearning, her hands tightening around the fabric of Jeremy’s collar. She couldn’t find the strength to resist.

In that moment, there was nothing else she could do but cling to him.

⚜ ⚜ ⚜

A rainy morning followed the night’s downpour, casting a gray haze over everything. The chapel, as always, remained serene.

Outwardly, the sacred grounds exuded an aura of tranquility, untouched by the world’s chaos. Yet, deep within its hidden corridors, the church was rife with power struggles and political intrigue.

Cain Mortens loved the illusion of peace that the chapel provided. He had no intention of dedicating his life entirely to the Order of the Holy Knights, and the church’s internal machinations were none of his concern.

“Sir Cain.”

He had been napping in his favorite hiding spot, tucked behind the stone wings of an angel statue, when a familiar voice interrupted his rest.

“I know you’re here! Come out already!”

Cain sighed, contemplating how he might punish Philip for disturbing his nap, before stepping out from behind the statue.

“What is it?”

“Were you hiding behind a statue this time?” Philip asked, exasperated. “How do you always manage to find the perfect hiding places? It’s truly impressive.”

Cain didn’t bother explaining that he avoided public spaces to escape the Pope and the church’s senior officials, who were always trying to drag him into their schemes. Instead, he cut straight to the point.

“It had better be important, Philip. Otherwise, I’ll make you take my place and enjoy a nice, long nap.”

“If you’re offering me rest, I’d be grateful,” Philip quipped.

“Rest eternal, perhaps?”

“…Apologies. It’s not that. Your younger brother from the Mortens duchy has arrived.”

“My brother?”

Relieved that the matter was significant enough to justify the disturbance, Cain decided to spare his subordinate from an untimely demise.

Guided by Philip, Cain entered the reception room, his expression unusually stiff.

“It’s been a while, brother.”

Waiting inside was his younger sibling, Isaac Mortens.

“State your business,” Cain said, his voice cool. “You and I aren’t the kind to meet for sentimental reunions.”

Isaac had anticipated the blunt greeting. Suppressing a bitter smile, he took a sip of his now-lukewarm tea, collected his thoughts, and delivered the news.

“Father is gravely ill.”

“Well?”

“You’ve vented your frustration on the family enough. Now, come back home.”

“…”

“You should at least be there for Father’s last moments.”

Father, critical condition, final moments…

Those words were enough to stir Cain’s heart, despite the years of estrangement from his family.

“If I stay for Father’s last moments, then what comes after?”

“Of course, you’ll have to take up the title.”

“I told you already. I plan to bury my bones in the Holy Order. You should inherit the title, Isaac. Unlike me, you prioritize the family, so it’s only right that you take it.”

“Why would I, when the eldest son of the Mortens family is alive and well? I have no desire for it. Since childhood, I’ve always believed the family would be yours, and Father hasn’t changed his mind about passing it to you.”

“Such worldly words from a knight of the Holy Order.”

“You didn’t join the Holy Order out of faith, did you? It was an escape!”

The rare conversation between the brothers quickly turned cold, like the tea on the table, as Isaac lost his patience and raised his voice.

Until Cain renounced his position as the viscount’s heir to join the Holy Order—or rather, until that incident happened—the Mortens family had been peaceful. As an old noble house, they were conservative but content. Despite their arranged marriage, their parents genuinely loved each other. They prioritized the eldest son, but they strove to show equal affection. The siblings were close, too.

Isaac was intelligent but unambitious, and Cain, though willful, knew his limits and excelled in every way.

Even Cain’s fiancée was his first love, Selina, whom he’d admired since childhood.

Everything had been perfect, and Cain had never once felt discontent in the life given to him.

But not anymore.

A single event changed everything.

Cain became disillusioned with his family and chose to protect something he deemed more important.

“I still don’t understand why our family has to fall apart over a woman. We didn’t do anything wrong—it was her side that did!”

“Isaac. She did nothing wrong.”

“…Brother.”

“My stance hasn’t changed. If you’ve forgotten, let me remind you once more.”

“…”

“If anyone tries to use Selina’s illness against her, I’ll have no choice but to reveal what Father did to the Holy See.”

Cain was now threatening his family for the sake of the woman he loved.

“Don’t forget, joining the Holy Order wasn’t some act of rebellion.”

Isaac’s wounded expression pained Cain every time he saw it.

But Cain had no intention of withdrawing his threats or yielding to his brother’s wishes.

“Grandmother used to say the men of the Mortens family are so single-minded that they become blind to everything else once they fixate on something.”

“…”

“I know you love that young lady from the Ryles family. But the engagement is already broken. How long are you going to hold on to her? There are plenty of women in the world. Who knows? Maybe someday, another woman will come into your life, even if right now you can’t see anyone but Selina Ryles.”

“…”

“And who knows? You might end up loving that new woman even more madly than you ever loved Selina Ryles.”

It wasn’t worth listening to anymore.

Cain stood up first, his action conveying what words didn’t: he had no intention of hearing any more.

“No need to see me off, I assume.”

“…So, you’re telling me to leave now.”

“Safe travels back.”

Cain ignored the desperate look in his brother’s eyes, the one that seemed as if Isaac might grab his sleeve at any moment, and left the room first.

Though he had originally intended to return to the spot where he’d been napping, his feet carried him instead to a narrow, secluded prayer room tucked away in the corner.

⚜ ⚜ ⚜

The morning after their second night together, it was once again Velita’s job to clean up the aftermath.

However, unlike before, she wasn’t alone when she opened her eyes that morning.

Jeremy, who had tormented Velita all night as they moved from the garden to the bedroom, transformed back into the tender and lonely young master she had always known by the time morning came.

[Will you forgive me, Velita?]

He admitted that he had been harsh with her under the influence of alcohol.

[Whenever I see you, I can’t help but act spoiled.]

Jeremy described his rough behavior as mere “childishness.”

[When I see how you accept every part of me, it feels like you truly love me, and that makes me happy.]

Velita, who had constantly doubted whether any of this was right, was once again reminded of how lonely a person Jeremy was when she saw his infinitely vulnerable expression.

[I love you. You love me too, don’t you?]

When Jeremy asked this while repeatedly kissing her hands and cheeks, Velita whispered her love far too easily. Satisfied with the answer he wanted, Jeremy left with a sweet smile, saying he had pressing matters to attend to.

Before leaving, he didn’t forget to leave her with a small task.

[Can you visit the Holy Order for me, Velita?]

[What do you need me to do there?]

[Just deliver a little gift of mine to Cain Mortens.]

Velita, dressed in her outing clothes, made her way to the Holy Order. Before leaving the Ryles estate, she heard from the servants that Selina had locked herself in her room without explanation, leaving everyone anxious. However, it wasn’t a concern for Velita, who had to carry out Jeremy’s errand.

Despite the damp and chilly weather, Velita hurried to the Holy Order, only to be told she couldn’t meet Cain.

[Sir Cain is currently with another guest.]

[I can wait.]

[It will take a long time.]

[That’s fine.]

Her task was simply to serve Jeremy, who was out and wouldn’t return until the evening. Since her only task was to deliver the message to Cain Mortens, she could wait as long as necessary.

Seeing that Velita showed no intention of leaving, the man let out a sigh and hesitantly revealed another piece of information.

[Even after the guest leaves, you likely won’t be able to meet Sir Cain.]

[Why not?]

[Sir Cain is likely to be in a bad mood all day today.]

[So the guest he’s speaking with must be someone unpleasant for him.]

[Not exactly, but…]

The man seemed reluctant to explain further and stopped talking.

Having no other choice, Velita decided to give up on meeting Cain Mortens. However, since she had come all the way to the Holy Order, she thought she might as well pray and was granted permission by a priest to enter the prayer room.

She didn’t believe in God.

She hadn’t even attended school, much less received theological education, but she knew this much: God loves all humans equally.

Yet, while God may claim all humans are equal, the world that governs them was far from fair.

The world was like a staircase, assigning ranks to the humans God had “equally” created—precious humans, lowly humans, and those in between…

Velita had always accepted as natural that she belonged to the lowly side of humanity. Only now did she feel she might have risen slightly above that.

All of it was thanks to entering the Ryles estate and gaining Jeremy’s attention.

Even just escaping rock bottom made her this happy…

What would it feel like to climb even higher?

In the narrow prayer room, just big enough for one person, Velita gazed at the cross, wondering what kind of prayer she should offer.

Please make me happy?

That seemed too vague.

“lease make all humans equal?

But she had only just escaped rock bottom herself. It felt unfair to wish for something that would undo the effort she had put in to climb up.

Then what should she pray for?

‘…Not that God exists anyway.’

She suddenly felt a little foolish for taking this so seriously.

Still, since she was already in the prayer room, she felt she ought to wish for something.

With nothing to lose, perhaps she could ask for the most impossible wish.

Let me rise to the very top.

If possible, to the very peak of the staircase.

It was then.

The once-quiet prayer room door burst open.

“…”

Kneeling in prayer, Velita’s gaze met the irritated eyes of a man who had entered, shutting the door behind him with a sharp gesture.

The man was none other than Cain Mortens, the very reason Velita had come to the Holy Order.