IA Chapter 1.3

Was it really the right thing to do, even having sex just to make a friend?

Unlike the lunch a week ago, which he had been so looking forward to, Jin-han’s heart was filled with worry on the day of his scheduled meeting with Jeong-yul. It wasn’t that he had lost interest in Jeong-yul or that he didn’t need him anymore. On the contrary, for the three days after meeting him, he had been wishing for this day to come as soon as possible.

This uncomfortable question arose after Jin-han did some searching on the internet.

⌕ How to have sex

The search results were like this:

Please be kind and warm and embrace them….

You just need to get each other excited….

Most of the results that came up in the search box were almost all like that. Most of the questioners were young men or virgins like Jin-han, and as if to mock such desperate people, the answers were all vague and ambiguous.

As Jin-han navigated through the suffocating answers, he realized that there was not a single meaningful answer. It was maddeningly frustrating. Thinking that it might be because the target was heterosexual, Jin-han changed the search results this time.

⌕ How to do it between men.

The results were even more dismal. Only beauty-related content such as skin care, waxing, and hairstyles came up, and there was nothing practical. Jin-han decided to stop searching.

Of course, Kang Jin-han wasn’t a complete idiot. Just because he had lived a life far removed from anything sexual didn’t mean he hadn’t received sex education. He was in the taekwondo club, but he went to class as much as possible. Since middle school, what Jin-han had learned was that when sperm and egg meet, it results in pregnancy, and how to put on a condom. He didn’t learn exactly how sperm and egg meet. He learned that from Eun-hyeong.

You just have to put it in….

Eun-hyeong and he had been in the same class since the first year of middle school and had always been together until they went to college. Eun-hyeong, who was so active and cheerful, had always been Jin-han’s teacher when it came to matters between people.

Eun-hyeong was always quick and curious. It was also Eun-hyeong who had heard from somewhere that it was possible for men to do it together, which helped Jin-han a lot when he belatedly realized his orientation. It was also great luck for Jin-han that his best friend could understand him.

Anyway, back to reality, Jin-han knew the basics. The problem was whether actual sex was possible with just this knowledge.

I know you use different parts than women when you’re doing it with men. That the method between men is to use that place that he’s too ashamed to even mention.

‘B-but, is that really… going to fit?’

Jin-han stopped washing his hands and glanced down below. The heavy form of his penis, which he had just held to urinate, was quietly drawn in his mind. Jin-han’s penis was far larger than average, to the point where he would receive secret envy when he went to the bathroom. In Jin-han’s common sense, it seemed impossible for such a large body part to fit into that place between his buttocks.

As soon as he reaffirmed that fact, his heart grew infinitely heavy. Everyone else seems to be putting it in somehow, but Jin-han had no confidence that he could do it without bloodshed. It was bound to tear, and he didn’t think Jeong-yul would be happy about that at all. Where would there be someone who would like it if it tore and hurt? He’d be lucky if he wasn’t sued for injury. But even sadder was the reaction that Jeong-yul would show afterward.

‘If he’s disappointed by sex, he won’t meet me again….’

Besides, Jeong-yul seemed to have high standards. His chest tightened when he recalled him saying that he liked it rough during their conversation on the day they met. He had no idea how to be ‘rough’. He’s been rough in matches, but he’s never been rough in sex. And what the hell is vanilla anyway. No matter how much he searched, he couldn’t get anything other than the result that it was a vine plant in the orchid family.

His face, which was already filled with worries, became gloomily depressed. As Jin-han rubbed his forehead and shook his head, his colleague Kim Yoon-seok spoke to him.

“Why are you suddenly like that?”

“Oh? It’s nothing.”

“What is it? Tell me if you have any worries. Your face has been really bad since this morning.”

Jin-han looked at Yoon-seok with surprise at his concern. Kim Yoon-seok was in Jin-han’s work team and was an entry-level colleague of the same age as him. But even though they had worked together for several months, they weren’t close. This was because Yoon-seok himself was so focused on his own work and had nothing in common with Jin-han. At least that’s what he thought until now….

“Is it anything big?”

“No. It’s personal, so it’s hard to say… Thanks for worrying.”

“What are friends for?”

Yoon-seok smiled kindly and patted Jin-han’s shoulder. Jin-han’s heart fluttered slightly at the unexpected sight.

‘Friends.’

Was he right to go out of his way to find someone else when he had such a good friend? Wouldn’t it be better to have someone who works in the same field and sees each other every day as a friend?

“Anyway, it’s nothing big, right? Then are you free tonight by any chance?”

“Tonight?”

“Yeah. Let’s go clubbing. We have a weekend holiday coming up for the first time in a while, so we have to run. It’s TGIF today. An older friend of mine has booked a table and a meeting today. Three clean and pretty girls. We’ll have an even number if you come.”

Jin-han’s heart, which had been warm for a moment, cooled down in an instant. There were several reasons why Jin-han couldn’t get close to Yoon-seok, but above all, he didn’t get along with Jin-han because he was a man who liked women very much. He had been avoiding him because he kept recommending meetings and drinking parties that he had no interest in, and he didn’t know how he had forgotten that for a moment.

“No, no. I’m not interested in that.”

“You’re always backing out, aren’t you? Just come this time.”

“Find someone else.”

“There’s no one with a face like yours!”

Jin-han shook his head and left the bathroom. Yoon-seok followed him back to his workplace, complaining.

“I’m not kidding, my older friend has hooked up with some really pretty girls, okay? You’ll definitely like one of them if you see them.”

“That’s why I said I’m not interested.”

“Why? Do you have a girlfriend? I don’t think you’ve ever hinted at that?”

“I don’t have a lover, but I don’t like those kinds of events.”

Yoon-seok frowned and hit Jin-han’s arm.

“What, are you impotent? Or are you gay? Why do you always get so serious when I talk about this?”

Come to think of it, not only Yoon-seok but also most of his male friends have had this kind of uncomfortable moment at least once. The interests of energetic men of the same age were usually dating or sex, and even if they weren’t particularly interested in that, they talked about women once in a while.

Jin-han realized anew why he couldn’t have a friend with whom he could open up so much. He wasn’t interested in many things, and as someone who only had work and taekwondo, the types of people he could meet were always limited.

“So what if I am?”

Jin-han, who had stopped in the hallway, looked down at Yoon-seok. Yoon-seok wasn’t short, but he wasn’t as tall as Jin-han, so the difference in height was stark. Yoon-seok frowned and looked up at Jin-han.

“What if I’m impotent or gay? I said no, so why keep pushing? Cut it out.”

“The way you talk, seriously…”

Jin-han glared at him without a word. Yoon-seok’s ugly face was full of dissatisfaction, but he didn’t say anything more. He knew that Jin-han was an athlete, and he’d tried to mess with his juniors in the early days but had once been overpowered by Jin-han’s strength.

‘There’s no friend like Jeong-yul-ssi, no matter how I think about it.’

Jin-han scanned Yoon-seok’s face and came to that conclusion. Leaving Yoon-seok, who couldn’t control his anger, behind, he turned his steps. Jeong-yul’s face—so striking it felt otherworldly—wasn’t something you saw every day. Maybe it was his looks, but even his blunt words didn’t grate as much. Yoon-seok, though? Just listening to him was irritating—though his past behavior didn’t help

Sighing, Jin-han decided to meet Jeong-yul. As a man, it wasn’t right to chicken out before even trying. The first ancestors who did it with men didn’t know how either—they just figured it out. Surely he could too when the time came.

Steeling himself, Jin-han returned to the lobby’s main entrance and found a chaotic scene. Two women at the reception desk were whispering excitedly, glancing toward the elevators. Nothing seemed unusual at first, except for one thing: a towering man, a head taller than everyone else, stood with his back to them, waiting for the elevator. His legs were so long it reminded Jin-han of Jeong-yul.

‘What a coincidence’, he thought, turning away to head back to the gate. Another colleague, who’d returned from lunch and was working, spotted Jin-han and spoke up.

“Did you see him too? NW’s official hottie?”

“What’s that?”

“I saw him for the first time today, but as soon as he came in, the atmosphere was no joke. He’s seriously good-looking.”

“No, I didn’t see him.”

“Really? He just went to take the elevator over there.”

Following his colleague’s gesture, Jin-han also turned his eyes back to the elevator. The tall man he had seen earlier was gone.

“He’s not there anymore. Anyway, he’s unreal handsome. First time I’ve seen someone like that in real life. Made me feel kinda deprived.”

“You’ve never seen his face during security checks?”

“Word is he was overseas while we’ve been stationed here.”

“Oh, I see.”

People working at a big company like this rarely interacted with security guards like them anyway, so Jin-han quickly lost interest. Instead, his thoughts drifted to Jeong-yul. Seeing a man of similar height brought Jeong-yul’s image vividly to mind from a few days ago.

Imagining Jeong-yul’s languid, elongated eyes staring at him made Jin-han tense up for no reason. His nape tingled, and his mouth went dry. Thinking about what they’d do tonight sent shivers through him. To calm his fluttering stomach—like he’d swallowed butterflies—Jin-han decided to focus harder on work.

‘When it comes down to it, I’ll manage. Like I always have.’