HTTRPIAO Ch 55-59

“Ri…shar?”

“Yes, hyung-nim.”

Etienne called out to Rishar while catching his breath. He opened his eyes, unable to resist the desire blooming in his mouth, but his mind was completely blank. Unlike the flustered Etienne, Rishar was quite calm.

“What did you just…”

“I only gave you medicine. The doctor said you needed to take it at specific times, but you were sleeping so…”

Rishar answered while brushing away golden strands of hair that had stuck to his sweaty forehead.

“Medicine?”

At Rishar’s words, Etienne blinked in confusion. His eyes stung as if being pricked by needles. His head felt foggy, as if shrouded in mist.

“What medicine?”

“Um, painkillers, fever reducers, and vitamins.”

At Rishar’s explanation, Etienne’s eye twitched slightly. So all those bitter and sweet tastes Id felt while half-asleep were medicine? Etienne bit his lip, tasting the bittersweet flavor that lingered on his tongue.

“Don’t worry, there wasn’t anything strange. They were prescribed by your doctor.”

Rishar explained in a gentle, soothing tone as Etienne appeared confused. However, contrary to his intention, Rishar’s words only made Etienne more bewildered.

“My doctor…?”

“Yes. Dr. Celodine, wasn’t it? He came this morning with your main attendant. You were sleeping so soundly that we couldn’t wake you, so he just looked at your face and left. He said he’ll come back tomorrow.”

“Wait, what do you mean… ah.”

Etienne, who had been listening to Rishar’s words with a puzzled expression, let out a small gasp. Suddenly, the memories he had forgotten came flooding back.

My God.

Finally remembering everything, Etienne let out a silent scream. His face turned bright red as he recalled the events of the past few days.

“Do you remember now?”

Rishar tilted his head playfully, looking at the face that had turned as red as a well-ripened carrot.

“Not everything… just a bit.”

Etienne covered his face with both hands as he answered in a diminishing voice. He couldn’t look Rishar straight in the eye due to embarrassment and awkwardness.

I must have gone crazy.

Etienne internally screamed ‘ack!’ while repeatedly rubbing his face dry. He carefully traced his memories. His mind was in complete disarray.

He remembered kissing Rishar in the maze garden and being carried to the bedroom in his arms. He also remembered Rishar giving him one last chance.

However, he couldn’t properly remember anything after that. There were gaps in his memory, like holes punched through it.

In particular, he had almost no memory of the first and second days of his heat cycle. He only had scattered memories starting from the third day.

The problem was that all the memories remaining in his head and body were of him moaning and crying beneath Rishar, or begging and clinging to him.

‘Hnngh, Rishar, s-stop, hnng, please stop…’

‘Just a little more.’

‘Ah, no. It hurts, no, haah, it’s too… hot.’

‘Does it hurt a lot? I’m sorry. But… hah… it’s hard to stop now.’

Fragmentary scenes flashed through his mind one after another. With them came the breath and heat of those moments. Etienne felt a tingling sensation in his stomach and pressed his thighs together.

In his memories, Rishar was aggressive and persistent. He acted like someone who didn’t know the meaning of stopping. It was overwhelming and frightening, making tears flow constantly. Yet he couldn’t reject Rishar.

Unlike his mouth that cried about pain and not wanting to continue, his body craved and desired Rishar. Later on, he even found himself begging for more.

‘Ah! Th-there, hngh.’

‘Where? Here? Mn?’

‘Hah! So g-good… more, do more.’

‘You want more? Then call me Sha. If you do, I’ll make you feel even better than now.’

‘Mmn… Sha. Hnng, qu-quick. Haah, quicker…’

You’ve gone crazy, Etienne de Frederick.

Etienne stopped thinking any further. The more he recalled, the greater his embarrassment and self-loathing grew. For the past few days, he had been no different from a beast in heat.

Was this what a heat cycle was like? Was this normal when being with an Alpha?

Etienne pressed his throbbing eyelids with his fingers, feeling his face burning up. It felt like all the common sense he had known was completely destroyed. Just then, he felt a soft sensation on the back of his hand.

“Rishar?”

Etienne slightly lowered his hand at the feeling of lips pressing against it. There he saw Rishar with a slightly sullen face.

“What are you thinking about so deeply?”

“Eh? No, just…”

Rishar narrowed his eyes at Etienne, who evaded the question and avoided eye contact. After hesitating for a moment, he carefully opened his mouth.

“Do you regret it?”

“What?”

“What happened with me, do you regret it?”

For a moment, Etienne was at a loss for words, as if struck at a vital point. Not because he hadn’t expected Rishar’s question, but because of the anxiety in his voice.

If asked whether he regretted spending the night with Rishar, the answer would naturally be yes. He regretted having his lifelong secret discovered, that it had to be Rishar of all people who discovered it, and that he had ended up sleeping with him. Everything was regrettable.

For both their sakes, this should never have happened.

However, he couldn’t complain about the current situation to Rishar. After all, the cause of all this was entirely his own fault. Rishar was a victim who had been swept up by his sudden heat cycle.

‘I’ll give you one last chance. If you want to refuse, do it now.’

Etienne remembered how Rishar had been considerate until the very end. Even when his reason was growing dim, he had put Etienne first. How could he tell such a person that he regretted it?

Weighed down by heavy guilt, Etienne lowered his eyes. He couldn’t bring himself to say he regretted it. He didn’t want to hurt Rishar.

But he also couldn’t firmly say that he didn’t regret it. Even if he did, Rishar would surely know it was a lie. In the end, Etienne could only move his lips silently, unable to do either.

“I…”

Rishar, who had been watching Etienne struggle for words, took his hand as if to envelop it. Then he spoke, emphasizing each word.

“I hope you don’t regret it.”

Etienne swallowed dryly as he watched the navy blue eyes filled with sincerity trembling anxiously. He impulsively asked.

“You don’t… regret it?”

“Me?”

Rishar smiled as if he had heard something amusing at Etienne’s question. His smile made Etienne even more confused.

“Aren’t you angry?”

“Should I be?”

“I… deceived you.”

Etienne mumbled in a small voice in response to Rishar’s counter-question. He had imagined before how Rishar would react when he discovered his secret.

In Etienne’s imagination, Rishar mostly showed shock or anger. He would rage and shout about being deceived. Never once in those imaginings had Rishar smiled.

So Etienne never expected Rishar to smile with such an unperturbed face. He had naturally assumed he would be angry.

“I pretended to be a Beta while being an Omega…”

“Why?”

“Huh?”

“It’s not like you wanted to deceive me. You had no choice, right?”

Rishar patted the back of Etienne’s hand as if to say it was okay. Then he added in a bitter voice.

“Well, honestly, I did feel betrayed. I was shocked too… It would be a lie to say I wasn’t hurt.”

“…”

“But I wasn’t angry at you. Rather, I was angry at myself, you could say.”

Etienne blankly stared at Rishar, who was blaming himself instead of getting angry at him. No matter how he thought about it, there was no reason for him to blame himself.

“I apologize.”

“Why are you…”

Etienne asked with a blank face. He was the one who should apologize, yet Rishar was apologizing to him instead. Rishar gave a bitter smile at Etienne’s question.

“You were fighting all alone, and I didn’t know anything.”

“That’s not your fault…”

“I thought about many things while you were sleeping. I wondered if you would have told me if I had been someone you could rely on, regretted why I hadn’t noticed sooner, really all sorts of thoughts…”

Rishar trailed off and looked at Etienne with a serious face. His unwavering blue eyes held Etienne’s image wholly.

“Though it’s late, I’m glad I found out now.”

Rishar continued, hoping his sincerity would reach him. Then he gently curved his eyes.

He smiled softly to help Etienne feel at least a little at ease, then slowly lowered his head. A gentle warmth touched the back of Etienne’s bony hand.

“So please don’t regret it.”

Rishar pressed his forehead against Etienne’s hand and kissed it as carefully as if handling a precious jewel. Then he whispered as if pleading. As if begging not to be abandoned.

For a moment, Etienne’s face contorted at the desperate appeal. Something hot welled up in his chest.

Why are you…

Etienne bit his trembling lower lip hard. A fierce wave crashed inside him. Tears welled up in his eyes and rippled.

It had always been like this. From their first meeting until now, Rishar had always remained unchanged. He treated Etienne, whom even his parents considered useless and ignored, who was nothing special except for his status as a prince, like the most precious person in the world.

Though it didn’t seem like he had done anything particularly special, Rishar always followed him around with a smiling face.

That’s why he liked being with Rishar, he felt like someone important to another person, like he was somewhat useful.

That’s precisely why he didn’t want to be discovered. He was afraid that if Rishar found out he was an Omega, he would be disappointed, that he wouldn’t look at him with a smiling face like before.

But it had all been needless worry. Even knowing he was an Omega, Rishar hadn’t changed. Instead, he worried about him and felt sorry. That made him both grateful and guilty.

Why for someone like me?

Etienne closed his eyes as he felt his vision blur. Rishar wouldn’t know. How much comfort those eyes filled with constant affection had given him.

“…I won’t.”

Etienne answered in a choked voice. In truth, he didn’t want to regret it. He didn’t want to have regrets.

Etienne leaned toward Rishar, who had buried his face against the back of his hand, as if collapsing. Their foreheads touched with a soft bump. He swallowed the sob that had risen to his throat and whispered.

“I don’t regret it.”

“Really?”

At the whispered words mixed with faint crying, Rishar gently raised his head. Their noses touched.

Etienne gazed into those deep blue eyes while feeling a ticklish sensation. In his wavering vision, only those eyes remained clear.

“Yes…”

Etienne answered with something like a sigh. He wanted to say once again that he didn’t regret it, but his throat trembled so much that no sound came out.

He bit his lower lip firmly while swallowing the tears that had risen. He didn’t want to cry in front of Rishar.

“I’m glad.”

Rishar was relieved by Etienne’s words that he didn’t regret spending his heat cycle with him. As the tension eased, the corners of his lips naturally lifted.

Etienne looked at Rishar smiling with joy before lowering his head. He found Rishar’s happiness at his words incredibly lovable. And that made him want to cry even more.

“I’m sorry.”

A voice that seemed ready to crumble flowed from between his trembling lips. Etienne’s face crumpled suddenly. He could no longer hold back his tears.

“I didn’t want you to find out this way…”

The tears that had been precariously gathered in his reddened eyes fell onto Rishar’s nose bridge, where their faces touched. As if that was a signal, tears began pouring down like raindrops.

“Hyung-nim.”

Rishar let out a worried sigh at the hot tears wetting his face. His calloused thumb followed the path of tears flowing down the cheek.

“Don’t cry.”

After wiping away the tears with his hand, Rishar comforted him in a gentle voice. That voice made tears well up again.

“Hic…”

Finally, uncontrollable sobs escaped between his teeth. Rishar looked pitifully at Etienne who kept crying, then shook his head.

“Mmng.”

Etienne trembled at the heat touching his lower lip. Rishar had taken the plump flesh between his lips, parting them to enter.

His tongue, which had invaded gently, moved like it was swimming, scattering the sobs that filled his mouth.

“Mmnh, hic.”

Etienne grabbed the firm shoulders as he felt himself becoming breathless. His body, remembering the intimacy shared with Rishar, heated up instantly.

“Haa.”

“Hyung-nim…”

After swallowing all of Etienne’s weak moans and sorrowful crying, Rishar called to him in an anguished voice. Etienne reflexively closed his eyes at the heat touching his eyelids after his lips.

Rishar’s lips fell away after stealing the transparent droplets that had gathered like dew on his eyelashes.

“You’re beautiful.”

Rishar curved his eyes while looking up at the watery eyes that were revealed again. Like clouds covering the sun had cleared away, the hazy and dull sky blue eyes were now shining brilliantly. They were the jewel eyes that only those of the Frederick Imperial bloodline were said to possess.

“Don’t… look.”

Embarrassed by Rishar’s praise, Etienne covered his eyes with his hands. However, the aqua eyes were revealed again by the force pulling down his wrist.

“Don’t hide them.”

Rishar, who had been staring at Etienne’s eyes as if enchanted, brought his lips closer. Light kisses like feathers showered down on his wet eyes.

“…Aren’t my eyes strange?”

“Strange?”

Rishar, who had been continuously kissing around Etienne’s eyes, pulled his lips away as if he’d heard an odd thing. He met Etienne’s gaze, serious.

“I’m furious that I didn’t know about these beautiful eyes until now.”

Rishar muttered as if he was still angry just thinking about it. Etienne’s face reddened at the words full of sincerity.

Rishar moved his thumb that had been cupping his cheek to rub under his eyes that had turned slightly pink. The eyes with their light blue tinge were like a sunlit lake, or perhaps like the clear morning sky.

“You’re so pretty, hyung-nim.”

Rishar whispered in a low voice while suppressing the desire that was creeping up. When his hot breath touched him, the long eyelashes trembled finely.

Etienne squeezed his eyes shut while feeling a strange tickling sensation. His heat cycle should have ended, but strangely his body felt hot.

“It seems your fever is coming back.”

“Ah.”

Rishar pulled his body back as he felt Etienne’s skin growing hot. When Rishar’s hand left his cheek, Etienne unconsciously let out a sigh filled with disappointment.

“Sleep some more.”

Rishar laid Etienne down, pulled up the blanket, and stroked his light golden hair.

“But I’m not sleepy…”

Etienne mumbled quietly while feeling the hand caressing his head.

“You need to sleep a lot to recover. Your main attendant and doctor will visit again tomorrow.”

Rishar patted Etienne’s chest in a steady rhythm while letting his words go in one ear and out the other. Then he raised his hand to cover Etienne’s eyes.

“Close your eyes now. I’ll help you sleep.”

When the large, firm hand covered his eyes, his vision instantly darkened. Etienne blinked slowly in the darkness Rishar had created. He had thought he wasn’t sleepy, but as his surroundings darkened, his head grew hazy.

“What about you?”

Etienne moved his lips while feeling strength leaving his body. When he asked in a voice thick with sleepiness, an amused answer came back.

“I’ll sleep too. Once you fall asleep, I’ll sleep.”

“Let’s sleep together…”

Etienne, drunk with sleep, gently grasped the fingertips that were patting his chest. The laughter stopped abruptly. Then a careful voice was heard.

“May I sleep next to you, hyung-nim?”

“Yes…”

Etienne nodded slightly as he answered. His consciousness was steadily sinking. Just then, there was a brief rustling sound before someone slipped under the blanket.

Etienne smiled faintly as he felt strong arms embracing his body. He fell into a deep sleep just like that.

“Sweet dreams.”

Just before falling asleep, along with the cozy goodnight, a soft warmth touched his forehead and temple. It was such a tender kiss that it could bring tears even in his sleep.

* * *

Step, step.

Ben’s footsteps quickened as he reached the third floor. Though he knew it went against etiquette, he was impatient.

The mansion’s butler who had guided Ben to the third floor let him be just for today. He knew how much Ben had been worrying these past few days.

“Main Attendant! Please slow down!”

Behind him came the sound of Celodine panting heavily. Ben continued walking, almost running, without answering. His attention was focused on the Grand Duke’s bedroom where Etienne would be.

Is he awake? Having reached the door of the Grand Duke’s bedroom in an instant, Ben caught his breath. Yesterday he had only seen Etienne’s sleeping face before leaving.

Seeing him sleeping so soundly that he didn’t even notice others’ presence despite usually being a light sleeper, Ben couldn’t bring himself to wake him.

“Whew.”

Ben raised his trembling hand and knocked on the door. A small voice came from inside.

“Come in.”

“…!”

The moment he heard Etienne’s voice, Ben’s body tensed up. He quickly grabbed the doorknob. When he opened the door, he saw Etienne sitting up, leaning against the bed’s headboard.

“Ben.”

Etienne turned his head, noticed Ben, and smiled as if pleased to see him. In contrast, Ben’s face was deeply contorted.

“Your Highness…”

“It’s been a while.”

“How… ah… really…”

Ben couldn’t properly continue his words. He approached Etienne with staggering steps. Ben opened his mouth with a face mixed with resentment and relief.

“Do you know how worried I was?”

“I’m sorry.”

Etienne apologized readily. Ben’s face was haggard, as if showing all the mental suffering he had endured.

“Were you very shocked?”

“Don’t even mention it. My heart nearly gave out.”

Ben answered while shuddering. For the past few days, he had lived in an endless nightmare. Ben, now relieved of tension, sat down in a chair with tears in his eyes.

“Thank goodness, really…”

“I’m sorry.”

Etienne stroked Ben’s head as he watched his shoulders shake. Celodine, who had belatedly entered the bedroom, cleared his throat awkwardly at the sight of the two.

“Ahem, ahem.”

“Sir Celodine.”

“It’s been a while, Your Highness.”

Celodine approached the bed with a good-natured greeting. Meanwhile, Ben, having composed himself, wiped his eyes and stood up.

“Welcome. I’ve caused you lots of trouble as well.”

“Trouble? Not at all.”

Celodine waved his hands in surprise at Etienne’s words. After taking out a handkerchief from his jacket’s inner pocket and wiping his sweat, he carefully asked.

“How are you feeling?”

“Uhm, I’m not sure…”

Etienne trailed off at Celodine’s question. To be honest, it was difficult. His body, which had accepted Rishar for days, couldn’t even say it was fine as a mere pleasantry.

His skin was covered in marks that had turned from red to dark bruises, and places too embarrassing to mention were burning and stinging.

Not only that, but his whole body was aching and throbbing, and he had no strength below his waist. However, strangely, his head felt clear.

“I think I’m better than expected.”

After a moment’s consideration, Etienne answered in a calm voice. Of course, Celodine didn’t believe his words. Just from the bite marks and kiss marks visible on his neck above his shirt, one could easily imagine what marks lay beneath his clothes.

“May I examine you briefly?”

“Of course, please do.”

Celodine examined Etienne more thoroughly than usual. After a while, having finished the examination, he spoke with a bright expression.

“There’s muscle pain and some feverishness from fatigue, but no major injuries or concerning areas. I think you’ll recover well with good food and plenty of rest.”

“That’s a relief.”

Etienne showed a relieved expression at hearing there were no major problems. Ben, who had been listening intently, also let out a sigh of relief.

“Um… Sir Celodine.”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

“There’s something I’d like to ask…”

“Please go ahead.”

Celodine smiled kindly as if to say ask anything. Just moments ago he had been extremely tense, but after confirming that Etienne’s condition was much better than he had thought, his expression had relaxed.

“Well, uhm.”

Etienne couldn’t easily bring up the words. After hesitating for a long while, he finally opened his mouth.

“…Is there a possibility that I might have conceived a child from this?”

Child.

Celodine’s smiling face froze at Etienne’s words. Ben’s face, who was beside him, also hardened. The warm temperature in the room suddenly dropped.

“So, uhm…”

Celodine stammered with a bewildered face. His mind went completely blank. Unlike the troubled Celodine, Etienne’s expression remained calm. He spoke about his physical condition without any hesitation.

“You said before that I’m nearly infertile.”

“…I did.”

Celodine answered hesitantly. There were mainly two reasons why Omegas became infertile.

One was when they experienced side effects from taking suppressants for a long time, and the other was when their body was severely damaged from miscarriage or childbirth. Etienne belonged to the former category.

“I know that an infertile Omegas cannot conceive even if they spend their heat cycle with an Alpha. That’s how it was with Mother.”

Etienne continued speaking calmly. However, Celodine could read the anxiety in his voice that he couldn’t quite hide.

“But I haven’t been diagnosed as completely infertile like Mother. Doesn’t that mean there’s a possibility I could conceive?”

“That’s right.”

Celodine answered in a heavy voice. Etienne wore an expression that seemed to say ‘I knew it.’ Though he had anticipated it, having Celodine confirm it made his heart beat anxiously.

“Haah…”

Etienne took a deep breath and exhaled to calm his trembling heart. He put strength into the corners of his lips and managed to maintain a composed expression.

“I’d like to hear your opinion as my doctor then. You know my condition better than anyone else. What are the chances of me getting pregnant?”

“That’s… hmm.”

Celodine hesitated before answering. In truth, when he first heard the news, he had briefly thought that Etienne might be pregnant. However, he had forgotten about it because everything was so chaotic.

“Before I answer, there’s something I’d like to ask.”

“Go ahead.”

“Until when did you take the suppressants? You must have stopped after going to the detached palace…”

“No, I continued taking them. I even took them on the day of my heat cycle.”

“What? You didn’t stop taking them?”

Celodine’s eyes widened at the unexpected response. Seeing his reaction, Etienne explained the circumstances with an embarrassed face.

“I was planning to take a break from the medication after meeting Grand Duke Eckhart. I thought it would be dangerous if I stopped taking them and was affected by the Grand Duke’s pheromones. Though it ended up being pointless in the end.”

“Ah, so that’s why…”

“I apologize for not telling you beforehand. Me meeting the Grand Duke was a secret, I couldn’t tell even you.”

“No, no, you did well. Uh, not exactly well, but…”

Celodine rambled, trailing off in response to Etienne’s apology. The fact that his heat cycle suddenly came despite taking suppressants meant that beyond developing tolerance, his body was more damaged than expected.

“Since suppressants also have contraceptive effects, probably… Hmm, let me ask one more thing. Did His Highness the Grand Duke knot you?”

Celodine asked while trying to hide his embarrassment as he organized his thoughts, muttering to himself. The reason pregnancy chances increased dramatically during rut and heat cycles was due to the Alpha’s knotting.

However, just because a rut occurred didn’t mean knotting would necessarily happen. Alphas received strict education from a young age to prevent problems arising from knotting, such as unwanted pregnancies and illegitimate children. Still, accidents happened occasionally.

“I’m not sure about that. I barely remember anything from that time.”

Etienne answered honestly after a moment of consideration. He remembered having sex with Rishat countless times, but couldn’t remember whether he had knotted or not.

“I could know for certain if I asked the Grand Duke, but…”

Etienne’s voice trailed off. He didn’t want to discuss such a topic with Rishar.

“Don’t feel too pressured, just speak freely. I’m not expecting a definitive answer from you.”

Etienne spoke gently while looking at Celodine, who was clearly showing signs of being burdened.

“As I said just before, what I want to know is how likely it is. So I can prepare accordingly.”

Prepare. At that word, Celodine’s eyes widened. He asked with an expression of disbelief.

“Perhaps… do you want a prescription for medication to prevent pregnancy?”

Etienne hesitated for a moment. Seeing this, Celodine suddenly became alert. If he had answered that there was a high possibility of pregnancy, Etienne would surely have requested the medication.

“As a doctor, I wouldn’t recommend it. Emergency contraception puts a lot of strain on the body even for healthy people. The side effects are also severe. Your current body absolutely wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

Celodine spoke in a stern voice, his expression hardening. He drew conclusions based on the information he had heard from Etienne.

“I think you won’t need to take any separate medication. The probability of Your Highness being pregnant is extremely low.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Your Highness has taken suppressants for a very long time. Even during your heat cycle, the effects of the medication accumulated in your body over the past few years would have naturally acted as contraception. Especially since you said you took them that day as well.”

“Hmm.”

“Even if the Grand Duke did knot, I believe the current possibility is almost non-existent. And judging by Your Highness’s lack of memory, it doesn’t seem like knotting occurred.”

Celodine spoke with certainty. As far as he knew, knotting was a very special act. Even if his reason had flown out the window due to the heat cycle, it was impossible for Etienne not to have felt the knotting.

“I’ll discuss this part with House Eckhart’s doctor. If His Highness the Grand Duke has been taking suppressants regularly and using them to control his rut cycle, then both of you were using contraception, so there shouldn’t be any problem.”

“So you’re saying there’s almost no chance I could be pregnant?”

“That’s my opinion.”

“I see.”

Only then did Etienne’s expression relax. Watching Etienne’s relief, Celodine carefully opened his mouth. Even while knowing it was unnecessary meddling, he couldn’t help himself.

“Though it may be presumptuous of me to say, I believe this isn’t a matter for Your Highness to decide alone.”

“Huh?”

“You just mentioned wanting to prepare earlier. What were you planning to do if I had said you were pregnant?”

“Ah.”

“Surely you weren’t planning to decide by yourself?”

“…”

“Your Highness. If you were to conceive, that child wouldn’t be yours alone but would belong to both of you. Whether to terminate the pregnancy or have the child isn’t something to decide on your own.”

“You’re right…”

Etienne nodded with a gloomy expression. Celodine became confused when Etienne accepted his words more readily than expected.

Hadn’t he been planning to terminate it if he was pregnant just a moment ago? As his mind became troubled by the ambiguous attitude, Etienne’s lips moved slightly.

“If, if I truly… let’s assume I was pregnant.”

Etienne lowered his hands to wrap around his stomach. Nothing could be felt from the flat belly. After briefly looking down at his own stomach, he moved his lips slowly.

“Would the baby be able to survive?”

“Pardon?”

“As you said, there isn’t a single healthy part of my body. I’m in a situation where I need treatment and recuperation to recover my health.”

“That’s… right?”

“How likely is it that a child settled in an unhealthy body would be born safely, without any problems?”

“That…”

Celodine’s words caught in his throat as he fidgeted with his lips. Ben, who had been restlessly standing by unable to join the conversation, also froze in surprise. Etienne let out a small laugh seeing the two who didn’t know what to do.

“Relax your expressions. I was just curious.”

“Your Highness…”

“Didn’t you just say it? That the chances of pregnancy are low.”

Etienne smiled faintly while lightly shrugging his shoulders. However, Celodine couldn’t smile.

“Forget what I just said. Ah, but do prepare the tests. It’s better to be certain.”

“…Understood.”

Celodine barely managed to answer. He watched Etienne stroking his stomach with troubled eyes. It felt suffocating, as if a stone had been placed in his chest.

* * *

“It’s unusual for you to request an audience first.”

Edwin, seated in his place, looked across with a smiling face. Rishar carefully asked, seeing his visibly tired appearance.

“I heard you haven’t been sleeping well lately. Are you feeling all right?”

“I’m fine. So what’s the matter? What’s so important that you ask for a direct meeting like this?”

Edwin removed the hat covering his face and got straight to the point, dropping his smile. He had received Rishar’s request just this morning.

Edwin had made time with difficulty and headed to the capital’s secret residence at Rishar’s request to meet quietly, just the two of them.

“I heard that you won’t meet people even when they visit you, and that you’ve been staying secluded in your residence.”

“I wanted to rest a bit.”

“For someone who wanted to rest, you’ve been making quite a commotion recently. I heard you sent an adjutant to the detached palace. They say you wanted to apologize to the Prince?”

“Ah, yes.”

Rishar didn’t deny the Emperor’s words. Seeing his reaction, it seemed fortunately the deception had worked well.

“Actually, I have something to discuss regarding His Highness the Prince.”

“Oh? What is it?”

Edwin unconsciously tensed at the mention of Etienne. Rishar coldly gazed at Edwin who was waiting for his words. His dark blue eyes glinted coldly.

“I heard that Your Majesty asked His Highness to give up the throne?”

“Hm? What?”

“I heard it from him on the day His Highness had the pheromone shock. He said you wanted me to become emperor.”

On the day he heard that Etienne had collapsed, Edwin had pressed Rishar about what had happened.

However, he hadn’t given any answer to Edwin’s questioning. He had only repeated that it was his mistake. Seeing Rishar’s seemingly deeply shocked state, Edwin couldn’t press him further.

“You did something unnecessary.”

“Unnecessary? It was all for your sake…”

“I’m sure I told you clearly before. I have no intention of becoming emperor. Nor do I intend to be a tool for Your Majesty’s vicarious satisfaction.”

“Rishar.”

“So please don’t pressure His Highness again. That’s what I came to say.”

“Ha.”

Edwin let out a laugh of disbelief. Soon his expression hardened angrily as he glared at Rishar.

“This isn’t something that can be avoided just because you don’t want to do it. You must become emperor…”

“What if the Empress and House Herace disappeared?”

“What?”

“What if the Empress were deposed and House Herace was completely erased from the history of the empire?”

Edwin’s eyes widened at Rishar’s words. Rishar smiled faintly at Edwin who was staring at him with a blank expression.

“If I get rid of them, would you then make His Highness the crown prince?”

“What do you mean by that?”

Edwin asked with hardened eyes. Rishar responded with a tone that suggested ‘what’s the problem?’

“It means exactly what I said. Isn’t Your Majesty’s biggest reason for being wary of the Prince because of the Empress and her faction? If we remove them, there would be no problem with His Highness ascending to the throne, right? I’m saying I’ll do that work.”

“Why you?”

“You were planning to remove the Empress anyway, weren’t you? It shouldn’t be strange that I want to lend my strength to that cause.”

“That’s…”

Edwin trailed off. As Rishar said, he had been planning to get rid of Leona. However, that was for Rishar’s sake. With Leona gone, he would be able to ascend to the throne.

But now Rishar was saying he would attack Leona not to become emperor himself, but to make Etienne emperor.

“No matter how much I think about it, I just can’t understand. Why are you so determined to put the Prince on the throne?”

“I’m the one who can’t understand Your Majesty. Is it so strange that I want to serve as my lord the Prince, who is the only direct descendant of the imperial family and first in line for succession?”

“Rishar.”

“I’m not trying to stand above hyung-nim, but below him. My sword belongs to Etienne hyung-nim.”

Rishar spoke with an unwavering voice. He had become a knight in the first place to protect Etienne. This recent incident had only strengthened that resolve.

Etienne had hidden being an Omega and lived while destroying his own body because of the law that stated Omegas cannot become emperor. A blessing at birth had become a tragedy because of a single phrase engraved in the empire’s law books.

So Rishar decided to make Etienne emperor. He wanted to break and trample all the laws and customs that had made Etienne unhappy, to restore everything that he should have rightfully enjoyed.

For that to happen, Etienne needed to rise to the most noble position in the empire. So that no one could look down on him, so that no one could take issue with him being an Omega.

“I want hyung-nim to ascend to the throne, to shine more gloriously than anyone else from the most brilliant position.”

He was sincere. Edwin realized from Rishar’s expression and voice that he was sincere. Rishar truly was trying to make Etienne emperor.

But why?

Edwin looked at Rishar with a confused expression. He knew that Rishar and Etienne had an unusually good relationship.

Though things had become awkward between them in recent years, that was because of the circumstances surrounding them, not because their feelings toward each other had decreased.

So he understood to some extent Rishar’s affection and goodwill toward Etienne.

However, now he was having slightly different thoughts. Whether Rishar’s favorability toward Etienne was really just affection for a childhood friend or fondness for someone he grew up with.

“Ah.”

Edwin let out an exclamation at the thought that suddenly crossed his mind. He remembered arguing with Rishar over refusing the marriage proposal from the Mathias family.

At that time, Rishar had said there was someone he had liked for a long time. That it was an unrequited love.

“Rishar.”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“When you refused the marriage proposal from the Mathias family before, you said there was someone you had in mind.”

What if…? Edwin moistened his dry lips with his tongue while suppressing his anxiety. Even while thinking it couldn’t be, he kept having an ominous feeling that his guess might be right.

“Could that person be…”

Edwin’s lips moved without completing his words. He didn’t know what to do if Rishar were to say he liked Etienne. Rishar looked at the hesitating Edwin and narrowed his eyes.

“Your Majesty’s guess is correct. The person I like is Prince Etienne. I’ve liked him since we were young.”

Edwin’s body stiffened at the forthright and proud confession. He moved his lips with a shocked expression. Then he unconsciously jumped up from his seat.

“Do you understand what you’re saying? That child is a Beta!”

“Is that a problem?”

“Rishar!”

Edwin raised his voice in anger. In contrast to his agitation, Rishar was as calm as a peaceful sea.

“I clearly told you before, didn’t I? That I would marry the person I like regardless of whether they’re Alpha, Beta, or Omega.”

“You really… ha.”

Edwin collapsed back into his seat, staggering. He pressed his temples, feeling a headache coming on. After a while, Edwin spoke heavily.

“I understand your feelings. But the Empress and the Prince are inseparable. The Prince inherited the blood of House Herace. Do you think that child could completely turn his back on his mother and maternal family?”

Edwin asked confusedly. He had never thought about the method of removing Leona and putting Etienne on the throne before.

He took a short deep breath, trying to maintain his composure. His head kept spinning, making him dizzy.

“He inherited the Empress’s blood, but he also inherited Your Majesty’s blood.”

Edwin faltered at these piercing words. Rishar looked coldly at Edwin, who was at a loss for words.

“And I understand that the Prince has already agreed to cooperate with Your Majesty, hasn’t he? And you promised to guarantee his safety in return. Was that a false promise?”

“A false promise?! Watch your words!”

When Edwin shouted angrily, Rishar twisted one corner of his mouth sarcastically.

“If it wasn’t a false promise, why do you think the Prince won’t be able to turn his back on the Empress?”

“That…”

“Your Majesty has already forced a choice on the Prince. And His Highness chose to follow your will. At that moment, he essentially turned his back on his mother. But now you’re doubting hyung-nim’s sincerity?”

Rishar’s voice rose gradually. Even knowing he shouldn’t speak emotionally, he couldn’t contain his anger.

When he thought about how devastated Etienne must have felt when Edwin told him to give up the throne, his blood boiled.

“Hyung-nim was prepared to be pointed at as an unfilial child who betrayed his parents, yet Your Majesty still doesn’t trust him.”

Rishar criticized sharply. Edwin might not know, but Etienne had long harbored unrequited love for a father who never looked his way. However, his love was never reciprocated.

What kind of father is this person?

Rishar ground his teeth while suppressing his rising anger. He knew that Etienne envied him for receiving Edwin’s love.

In their childhood, whenever he felt that envious gaze that Etienne couldn’t quite hide, he felt heavy in one corner of his heart, as if he had stolen the love that Etienne should have received.

That made him feel more sorry, and therefore more angry. To Rishar, Edwin was someone who had contributed to Etienne’s unhappiness.

“No, that’s not it…”

Edwin closed his mouth without finishing his words. It felt like anything he said would be an excuse. No, it was an excuse. None of Rishar’s words were wrong. Rishar tried to calm himself while looking at Edwin’s clouded expression.

“To avoid any misunderstanding, let me say that making the Prince emperor is entirely my intention. He has been trying to persuade me to follow Your Majesty’s will.”

“…”

“Above all, hyung-nim no longer thinks of the Empress as his mother. So there’s no need for unnecessary worry.”

“…What?”

“Why are you so surprised? As Your Majesty knows, the Empress was never a good mother to hyung-nim. It’s natural for feelings to fade after more than 20 years of abuse.”

Edwin’s expression hardened for a moment. His heart sank at Rishar’s words, like a thief caught by his own trap. Because he too had not been a good father to Etienne.

“Fine. Let’s say we drive out the Empress as you say. What if the Prince doesn’t want to ascend to the throne? What will you do then?”

“…That’s something to worry about when the time comes. Right now, I think we should put our heads together about how to dispose of our common enemy.”

Rishar spoke in a firm voice. He had no intention of forgiving Leona, who had made Etienne’s life hell.

Repaying the pain that Etienne had to endure – that was Rishar’s top priority.

“Whoever ascends to the throne, the Empress and House Herace must disappear. As long as they exist, neither Your Majesty’s will nor my will can be achieved. How about we discuss the topic of the throne again after we have dealt with them?”

“…Are you confident?”

Edwin, who had been silent for a moment, asked in a heavy voice. Although their momentum had weakened somewhat due to the growth of the Emperor’s faction and Rishar’s achievements, the Empress and House Herace were still going strong.

Duke Herace was the leader of the noble faction, and his house was the center of the empire’s eastern region. The Empress also had numerous followers.

Moreover, they had already experienced victory in one succession dispute. It would not be an easy fight by any means.

“I must win. By whatever means necessary.”

Rishar answered in a resolute voice. His face was as solemn as a knight heading to battle.

Edwin swallowed hard while looking at Rishar’s face, which was filled with determination as cold as frost. Rishar’s resolve was firmer than he had thought.

“I have several methods in mind. I’d like to end this peacefully if possible, but if that’s impossible, I’m prepared to get blood on my hands.”

Edwin looked strangely at Rishar, who didn’t hesitate to make such extreme statements. While Rishar had never been particularly favorable toward Leona, he was especially hostile today.

Is there something I’m not aware of?

Edwin had an uneasy expression as he felt a strange sense of dissonance. The reason for Rishar’s change in attitude was probably because of Etienne.

Something must have happened between them that day when Etienne collapsed from pheromone shock.

“Just… what did you two talk about that day?”

“Let’s just say I learned several things I didn’t know before.”

Rishar avoided giving a direct answer and curled his lips. He let Edwin maintain his misunderstanding. He needed to be careful since he didn’t know how Edwin would react if he learned that Etienne was an Omega.

“Anyway, that’s all I have to say. I hope Your Majesty makes a wise decision.”

Rishar looked at Edwin’s pale face before standing up. He had more to say, but he felt that continuing the conversation would be counterproductive at this point.

“I plan to visit hyung-nim at the detached palace tomorrow. Would you like to come along?”

“…I’ll think about it.”

Edwin, who already had too much on his mind, gestured for him to leave. Rishar hesitated, an action uncharacteristic of him, while watching him rub his face. Sensing Rishar’s presence, Edwin asked in a tired voice.

“Do you have something else to say?”

“No. Um…”

Rishar trailed off at Edwin’s question. After hesitating, he seemed to make up his mind and carefully opened his mouth.

“May I say just one more thing?”

“Go ahead.”

“…I know that Etienne hyung-nim was a child you didn’t want. I dare not comment on Your Majesty’s feelings. However.”

Rishar paused for half a beat as if hesitating, then continued.

“My hyung-nim didn’t ask to be born either.”

Edwin took a sharp breath at that moment. Rishar’s words became a sharp dagger that pierced deep into his heart.

“I apologize for my impudent words. But I hope Your Majesty will understand this point.”

Having finished speaking, Rishar bowed formally to Edwin. Then he turned and left without looking back. Left alone, Edwin stared blankly at the closed door like someone who had forgotten how to breathe.

* * *

“Huff.”

Rishar, who had left the mansion, irritably brushed up his hair. Even the cold night air touching his skin couldn’t calm his heat.

“How annoying.”

A voice holding back anger escaped through his clenched teeth. Rishar tried to calm his anger by clenching and unclenching his fists. His insides felt burning hot.

Edwin probably wouldn’t know how much Rishar was holding back from grabbing him by the collar right then and there.

While it was the Empress who had ruined Etienne’s life, in Rishar’s eyes, the Emperor was no different.

Just because he was born as their child, he had to be rejected by his father and abused by his mother. Thinking about Etienne’s life made Rishar angry not just at the Empress but at the Emperor as well.

If Edwin had paid even a little attention to Etienne, if he had fulfilled even his minimum duties as a father, at least the current situation wouldn’t have happened.

That’s why he was angry. Whether it was the Empress or the Emperor, they were both perpetrators to Etienne, just to different degrees.

While he had no intention of denying the pain Edwin had to endure, for Rishar, Etienne was the top priority. Thinking about the wounds Etienne had received all this time, he could never forgive them.

However, he had to endure it now. To drive out the Empress, Edwin’s power was necessary.

For over 20 years, he had blocked all the offensives from the Empress and House Herace, and had grown the Emperor’s faction to be comparable to the noble faction. That was an ability that couldn’t be easily ignored.

Edwin’s power and political sense would surely help Etienne.

Above all, when it was revealed that Etienne was an Omega, Edwin was the only person who could give him authority and legitimacy. So even if he disliked it, they had to work together.

“Tch.”

Rishar clicked his tongue as if displeased. He unbuttoned the top of his shirt, feeling the heat in his stomach.

Should I just kill them?

His eyes, dark as the deep night, gleamed ominously. Rishar’s hand went down to his waist. He seriously contemplated while fiddling with the cold sword handle.

No matter how much power one has, everything ends when they die. Without needing to think of various methods, striking at the Empress and House Herace right now would be the quickest solution.

Currently, House Eckhart’s military power ranked among the highest of the nobles. In terms of pure military strength between houses, Eckhart had the upper hand.

Even if House Herace received support from the East, if they launched a surprise attack with Rishar’s direct knight order, mage corps, and all the houses under Eckhart’s command, they would have a good chance of winning. Honestly speaking, that was the easiest and fastest path.

However, the problem was that there was no justifiable cause to strike at the Empress. While history is written by the victors, it would be better to end things with as little controversy as possible for the future. Also, it was impossible to know how other nobles like the neutral faction or minor factions would react to a civil war breaking out.

Setting aside everything else, he didn’t want to give Etienne a throne stained with swords and blood.

“…Should we just go into exile instead?”

Rishar muttered along with a sigh. It might be fun to abandon everything – the throne and all – and travel around the continent with Etienne. That option actually appealed to him more.

But it was an impossible dream realistically. If Etienne and he gave up their rights to imperial succession, it would become even more dangerous than now. Their existence would be nothing but a thorn in the side of whoever became the next emperor.

The moment they went into exile, all the power he enjoyed as grand duke in the empire would essentially disappear.

One way or another, the position of Grand Duke Eckhart was both a good spear and shield. Rishar had no intention of giving up the power to protect Etienne just to enjoy a brief moment of freedom.

“Your Highness, the carriage is ready.”

Rishar broke free from his thoughts at Elvin’s voice calling him. He had been so lost in thought that he hadn’t noticed the carriage arrive.

“Let’s go.”

Rishar got into the carriage and leaned back in his seat with a tired face. Did the talk not go well? Sitting across from him, Elvin narrowed his eyes while watching Rishar, who seemed to be in a bad mood.

“…Any word from my residence?”

“Nothing except that the Prince’s main servant and doctor visited. They seem to have left now.”

“And tomorrow’s preparations?”

“All done. It will only change slightly depending on whether His Majesty the Emperor moves with us tomorrow or not.”

“Good work.”

After hearing Elvin’s report, Rishar turned his head. He briefly gazed at the moon visible through the window, then blinked his heavy eyes. Eventually, he closed them completely. Perhaps because he had been moving busily all day with his nerves on edge, his head was throbbing.

* * *

“Hmm.”

The boy who had just turned five, Rishar, looked around with a serious face. Trees here, trees there, no matter where he looked, there were only trees.

“I’m doomed.”

Rishar, who calmly assessed the situation, covered his face with both hands while making an ‘ungh’ sound. Though he didn’t want to admit it, it seemed he was lost.

“To think that I’m a lost child…”

Rishar pulled at his cheeks as if he couldn’t believe the situation he was in. He remembered his mother’s stern warning before entering the palace.

‘Rishar, the imperial palace is incredibly big and wide. So you must be careful.’

‘Is it much bigger than our residence?’

‘Of course. There are even people who got lost and wandered for days in the palace.’

‘Ack, really?’

‘Yes. So don’t wander around anywhere, and stay close to mommy as much as possible. Understood?’

‘Yes.’

Rishar had dismissed Meriel’s warning. He had planned to stay with him anyway. But things didn’t go as Rishar had thought.

‘So you’re Rishar. Welcome.’

The Emperor, whom he met for the first time, wasn’t as scary as he’d thought. He welcomed Rishar with a kind face.

However, from his friendly smile wafted a gloomy and dark atmosphere that he hadn’t quite managed to hide. In short, he gave a dreary impression.

‘I greet the Sun of the Empire. I am Rishar von Eckhart. It is an honor to meet you.’

‘Hoho, look at how well-mannered you are. Come closer.’

The Emperor took quite a liking to Rishar. However, the sharp-witted Rishar read the strange emotions that formed in the Emperor’s eyes as he looked at him. Rishar instinctively grew wary of the Emperor. Somehow, he didn’t like him.

‘Oh my, Rishar.’

Meriel was flustered when Rishar hid behind him instead of going to the Emperor. He had an awkward expression, not knowing why his son was acting this way.

‘I’m sorry, Your Majesty. It seems that my son is a bit shy.’

‘Haha. Well, all children that age are like that. Sit down for now. When did you say Grand Duke Eckhart would arrive?’

The Emperor let out a lighthearted laugh at Meriel’s apology. Rishar’s eyes narrowed as he watched this. He wanted to tell his mother right away that it wasn’t because the Emperor was a stranger, but because his gaze was strange.

Let’s endure it.

Rishar swallowed the words that had risen to his throat while tightly gripping Meriel’s jacket. Just then, Grand Duke Eckhart arrived.

‘I apologize for being late, Your Majesty.’

‘Ah, you’re finally here. Welcome.’

The Emperor held a luncheon for the grand ducal couple and Rishar. Afterwards, they even had tea time.

Rishar grew bored as the conversation went on much longer than expected. Still, it was fortunate his father had come. When he arrived, the strange warmth in the Emperor’s eyes disappeared.

However, another crisis came not long after. Grand Duke Eckhart had to leave his seat briefly for military matters.

‘I apologize, Your Majesty. It seems I must excuse myself for a moment.’

‘My, our Grand Duke seems very busy. I shall continue conversing with the Grand Duchess, so go tend to your business.’

There it is again, that strange look.

Rishar frowned at the sight of the Emperor sending yearning glances toward Meriel. He couldn’t understand why he was looking at his mother with such eyes.

Rishar alternately looked at the Emperor and Meriel with a sullen expression. Unlike him, his mother didn’t seem to notice anything strange.

Finally unable to bear it anymore, Rishar stood up from his seat. If he stayed here any longer, he felt like he would confront the Emperor about why he was looking at his mother strangely.

‘Mother, may I go look at the garden?’

‘What?’

‘I’m feeling sleepy because I’m full.’

Rishar made an excuse to escape the uncomfortable situation. When something was hard to endure, running away was the best solution.

‘Hahah. It seems our young grand duke is quite bored.’

The Emperor burst into laughter at the sight of Rishar begging Meriel to let him see the garden. Then he called the head servant to take Rishar to the garden.

‘Wow!’

Once outside, Rishar excitedly went here and there. The imperial garden had many flowers and trees he had never seen before. Rishar ran through the flower beds, feeling liberated. Then he spotted a beautiful butterfly.

‘Pretty.’

Rishar’s eyes sparkled as he watched the butterfly’s wings change color in the sunlight.

He carefully reached out toward the fluttering butterfly. He wanted to show it to Meriel too. But the butterfly dodged Rishar’s hand and fled this way and that.

‘Ah, stop right there!’

Rishar, who had become determined, chased after the fleeing butterfly. He might have heard the head servant calling him from behind, but all his attention was focused on the butterfly. And now, when he came to his senses, he was in a forest full of nothing but trees.

“This is all because of that butterfly.”

Rishar blamed the butterfly while puffing up his cheeks. He looked around anxiously.

“Hello! Is anyone there?”

Rishar shouted in a loud voice. But there was no answer. Rishar plopped down on the spot as he heard his voice echo back.

Should I wait here for someone to come? Or should I try to find my way? While he was contemplating, unable to make a decision, a fragrant breeze carrying the scent of flowers blew by.

“Huh?”

What’s this? Rishar wrinkled his nose at the fragrant breeze that tickled his nostrils. He could smell an incredibly pleasant scent. Rishar got up from his spot while sniffing. Then he walked toward where the fragrance was coming from.

After pushing his body through the dense trees and parting the blocking bushes with his hands, a beautiful flower garden spread out before his eyes.

“Woah…”

Rishar exclaimed in admiration at the garden full of colorful flowers. Then he tilted his head curiously. The flowers before his eyes didn’t give off the scent he had smelled.

“Huh?”

Rishar, who had been turning his head looking for the scent he had sensed earlier, stopped when he discovered a boy sitting on a bench. Under the shade of a large tree, a boy who looked about his age was sleeping on the bench.