HTTRPIAO Ch 35-39

“What are you suddenly talking about?”

Rishar frowned slightly at the unexpected question. Unlike him, Etienne’s expression remained calm.

“I mean exactly what I said. Don’t you want to be Emperor?”

“…I thought I already told you about this matter. I have no desire for the throne.”

Rishar drew a firm line with his resolute voice. He didn’t want to discuss this topic with Etienne.

“What does it matter if you don’t desire it? People don’t think that way.”

“Such people are just trash who want to fulfill their own greed through me. I have no intention of becoming a puppet to fill the bellies of such humans.”

Etienne was surprised at Rishar’s unexpectedly firm response. He asked with genuine curiosity.

“You really have no thoughts about it at all?”

“No.”

Rishar answered Etienne’s question without a moment’s hesitation. Then, with an exasperated expression, he added,

“I’ve been telling you this all along. No matter what anyone says, I have no interest in the throne.”

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to.”

Rishar looked at Etienne as if he was asking about something obvious. He was sick of these kinds of conversations by now. He asked in a half-certain tone,

“Did His Majesty say something to you, hyung-nim?”

“Well…”

Etienne’s voice trailed off at Rishar’s question. That itself was the answer.

That damn person, he just had to.

Rishar felt his irritation surge as he gritted his teeth. Despite everything he had said, it seemed his words had fallen on deaf ears.

“Whatever His Majesty said, ignore it.”

Rishar spoke while suppressing his desire to immediately confront the Emperor.

“I recently made my intentions clear to him. You don’t need to worry. No, I’ll make it public this time.”

“What?”

“Tomorrow, I’ll officially declare that I have no intention for the throne and announce my support for you, hyung-nim. If necessary, I’ll even give up my right of succession.”

“That can’t happen!”

“Why not? If I give up my succession rights, His Majesty and others will no longer harbor unnecessary greed.”

Rishar wore a puzzled expression at Etienne’s attempt to stop him. He had thought that Etienne, who was being pressured by both the Emperor and Empress, would welcome his decision.

“If you give up your succession rights, you’ll be in danger.”

Etienne lightly chided Rishar, who seemed confused. At these unexpected words, Rishar looked as if he’d been struck from behind. His voice, lowered to almost a whisper, contained undisguisable worry.

“Do you still not understand how dangerous the current situation is? If I become Emperor, you’ll die.”

“…Are you saying I should become Emperor if I don’t want to die?”

“You know that’s what I mean, so why ask?”

“Then what about you, hyung-nim? If I become Emperor…”

“At least I won’t die.”

Etienne spoke with strong conviction. Strange as it was, he had always had this faith regarding Rishar. The belief that no matter what happened, he would never betray him.

Even if his thoughts were wrong, it would be fine. After all, he had received a promise from the Emperor last time. Etienne thought about the blank pardon as he continued speaking.

“If I ascend to the throne, Mother will become an empress dowager¹. If that happens, I’ll probably become Emperor in name only.”

“That might not be true.”

“Of course it will be. Don’t you know what kind of person my mother is? She’s not someone who shares what’s hers with others.”

“…”

Rishar closed his mouth at the irrefutable statement. Like Etienne said, he too knew well the Empress’s obsession and desires. He knew because he had seen it while growing up with Etienne during his childhood.

Back then, when living as an extra mouth to feed in the Imperial Palace, Rishar had wanted to gain power to protect Etienne, who struggled under the Empress’s tyranny. That feeling remained the same even now.

“If Mother becomes an empress dowager, the power of House Herace will grow even stronger. When that happens, no one will be able to weaken their power.”

Etienne’s expression darkened like storm clouds gathering together as he imagined the worst possible future.

“Mother is very cautious. Someone like her wouldn’t leave anything that could threaten her position. She’ll definitely try to get rid of you.”

Rishar’s expression softened at Etienne’s affirmation. His lips quivered as he asked in a careful tone,

“Hyung-nim… do you not want me to die?”

“No.”

Etienne answered without hesitation. His answer must have been unexpected, as Rishar’s eyes widened. Seeing this reaction, Etienne tilted his head.

“What? Why are you so surprised?”

“No, well, um…”

Rishar rarely stumbled over his words. He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly.

“When you say it like that… it sounds like you’re worried about me.”

“Why? Am I not allowed to worry about you?”

“That’s not it, but…”

You’ve been pushing me away all this time.

Rishar forcefully swallowed the words that had risen to his throat. While he had never desired the throne to begin with, the biggest reason he didn’t want to become Emperor was undoubtedly because of Etienne.

“I must have thought wrong.”

Rishar muttered with an embarrassed face. Until now, he had thought Etienne kept his distance because of issues related to the imperial succession. The situation certainly suggested that.

But listening to what Etienne was saying now, it seemed it wasn’t simply because of that.

If Etienne had avoided him and unilaterally kept his distance not because they were competitors for the throne, but because he was worried about his safety?

When that thought occurred to him, he felt a momentary shiver. Rishar took a sip of tea while forcing strength into the corners of his mouth to keep his expression from crumbling.

His mood, which had hit rock bottom, instantly improved at the single fact that Etienne worried about him.

“I thought you hated me.”

Etienne gripped his teacup tightly at Rishar’s honest words. Hate him? Nonsense. If anything, he considered him precious.

“I don’t hate you.”

Rather…

Etienne bit his lower lip hard and swallowed the rest of his words. He brought the teacup to his lips to hide his clouded expression. Rishar asked again as if he couldn’t believe Etienne’s words.

“You don’t hate me?”

“…I don’t.”

At Etienne’s answer, Rishar’s eyes went round before his eye corners softly curved. It was a bright smile that seemed genuinely happy.

“Ahem.”

Etienne, who had momentarily lost himself without realizing it, cleared his throat while avoiding eye contact. His chest, which had been aching just moments ago, now felt ticklish as if nothing had happened.

“Anyway, I think it’s best if you become the next Emperor. Both for your sake and mine.”

“Hyung-nim.”

“Let me add this to avoid misunderstanding, but I’m not saying this because of His Majesty. This is a decision I came to after long consideration on my own.”

After finishing his words, Etienne looked at Rishar with a determined face. His sky blue eyes had a light in them, and they were clearer than usual.

“I’m sorry for pushing such a heavy burden onto you… but I think this is the best direction for everyone. So I’d like you to seriously consider it.”

“Hmm.”

Rishar hummed quietly, feeling like he had received an unexpected homework assignment. Etienne quietly waited for him as he fell into thought. After a while, Rishar finished his contemplation and opened his mouth with a troubled expression.

“Do you truly have no desire for the throne?”

“None.”

“As far as I know, you’ve been keeping up with imperial studies since childhood until now. Although you haven’t participated in external activities, you’ve consistently prepared to become crown prince, haven’t you? Don’t you regret all that effort and time?”

Etienne, who had momentarily paused at the blunt question, smiled bitterly. He picked up the teapot and filled the empty teacup. As the conversation lengthened, the pain in his throat worsened.

“As you say, I studied about the empire. Since I couldn’t participate in activities that required me going out, I invited renowned scholars and professors from the Imperial Academy to learn various subjects.”

Etienne looked down at the teacup with rising white steam and stirred the ginger tea with a teaspoon.

“But that wasn’t my wish, it was Mother’s. I was just a doll doing what Mother told me to do.”

“…”

“I don’t want to be like that anymore.”

Clink, Etienne put down the teaspoon and met Rishar’s gaze. Though he felt sorry for him, no matter how he thought about it, this was the best solution.

The antagonism between the Emperor and Empress, the unwanted conflict between Rishar and himself, the false life of deceiving the world to hide secrets… To end all of this, Rishar needed to ascend to the throne.

“That’s why I want you to become Emperor.”

Realizing Etienne was serious, Rishar felt his heart grow heavy. His lips quivered like someone who had lost the ability to speak.

If Etienne wanted it, there was nothing stopping him from becoming Emperor. After all, his life was practically Etienne’s anyway. Rishar wanted to grant whatever Etienne truly desired. However, there was one thing that bothered him.

“I understand your intentions well. There’s one thing I’d like to ask about that.”

“What is it?”

“If I become Emperor, what do you plan to do?”

“Me? Well… I haven’t thought about it specifically, but, um, I was thinking of traveling once things settle down.”

“Travel?”

“Yes. To somewhere as far from the Imperial Palace as possible.”

Etienne voiced the dream he had harbored inside for a long time. To Etienne, the Imperial Palace was like a massive prison. That’s why he had dreamed of freedom since he was very young. Travel was the means to realize his long-held dream.

“If you’re worried about the noise that might arise after ascending to the throne, you don’t need to worry too much. Even if I don’t travel, I plan to leave the capital for a while once things are settled.”

“You’re leaving the capital?”

Rishar furrowed his brow as he repeated Etienne’s plans. Etienne, lost in thoughts about the future, didn’t notice how Rishar’s voice had lowered.

“It’s not like I’m leaving completely… just until everything is sorted out and stable?”

“Then that won’t work.”

“…What won’t?”

“I’ll pretend I didn’t hear what you said today.”

“Huh?”

Etienne blinked with a confused face. He couldn’t understand why Rishar had suddenly changed his attitude when they had been talking fine just moments ago.

“Why are you suddenly acting like this? Didn’t you hear what I just said? That you becoming Emperor would be a happy ending for everyone…”

“No. At least it won’t be a happy ending for me.”

“What?”

“You said you’ll leave if I become Emperor. What’s the point of becoming Emperor if you’re not by my side?”

“What do you mean…”

He won’t become emperor because he doesn’t want me to leave?

Etienne’s face showed bewilderment at this sudden statement. He couldn’t understand what correlation there was between Rishar becoming emperor and him staying by his side.

If he says things like that, it’s as if Rishar…

“Don’t say such weird things.”

That’d be absurd. Etienne quickly denied the ‘certain assumption’ that had surfaced in his mind. With a hardened face, he snapped back, his confusion evident.

“What’s weird about it?”

“This isn’t the time for such wordplay.”

“This isn’t a joke or wordplay. I’m being serious.”

Rishar showed his displeasure at Etienne treating his words as a joke.

“It doesn’t make sense that I should become an emperor ‘for everyone’s sake’ when I don’t want to, only to end up unhappy myself.”

“That’s…”

Etienne fell silent like someone struck at their weak point, when confronted with the fact he had been trying to ignore. Rishar’s words had touched upon what troubled Etienne the most.

The question of whether it was right to force Rishar to ascend to the throne when he didn’t want to be emperor.

But still, no matter how he thought about it, there was no one more suitable than Rishar.

The only dominant Alpha among the imperial family with succession rights, the head of a family powerful enough to keep the House Herace in check, the empire’s hero supported by both nobles and commoners.

Rishar’s qualifications were so perfect it was as if he had been born to become emperor.

He had considered Eris, Grand Duchess Sachsen, but compared to Rishar, she lacked both influence and reputation. Moreover, she disliked Rishar and the people of House Herace.

And above all, Etienne couldn’t trust Eris. There was no guarantee that once she became empress, she wouldn’t move against Rishar and himself.

“Is having me by your side… important?”

Etienne, who had been contemplating how to respond to Rishar’s words, carefully asked. He waited for Rishar’s answer, wrapped in an inexplicable tension.

Part of him hoped Rishar would say he was just joking, while another part hoped he would say it was important.

“It is important.”

Rishar answered without a moment’s hesitation. When those eyes, devoid of any falsehood, fixed directly on Etienne, his heart beat heavily.

At the same time, the strange sense of dissonance he had felt earlier, the seemingly impossible thought that had crossed his mind, began to take concrete form.

“Why?”

The question escaped before his thoughts could catch up. Etienne regretted it the moment he asked. This was a wrong move.

“Are you really asking because you don’t know?”

Rishar asked back in a dejected voice. His face, now devoid of its smile, seemed both empty and angry.

No.

Etienne squeezed his eyes shut, hurriedly scattering the thoughts that kept trying to take shape. He forced his lips to move while suppressing his racing heart.

“I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“Ha.”

Seeing Etienne playing dumb, Rishar threw his head back and let out a hollow laugh.

Looking back, Etienne had always been like this. Even though he actually knew everything, even though he could somewhat guess his feelings, he always pulled back at crucial moments like this.

“So you don’t understand… Are you pretending not to know, or do you really not know?”

Rishar asked with a serious expression, as if interrogating. Etienne flinched at his voice, heavy and dark like the night air. He had never heard such a tone from him before.

“Hyung-nim?”

When Etienne remained silent, Rishar called out to him, urging for an answer. Etienne bit his lip, at a loss for what to do. The corners of his lips trembled. He barely managed to squeeze out one word.

“What do you…”

“Haah.”

Rishar let out a heavy sigh at Etienne’s continued pretense of ignorance. He looked at Etienne with an indescribable expression.

Usually, he would have played along with Etienne, but today, he didn’t want to.

This couldn’t go on forever.

Growing impatient, Rishar chewed on his lower lip. He wanted to change this parallel relationship. So he decided to be a little greedy.

“Fine. If you insist on hearing it from my mouth…”

“No.”

Etienne hastily cut off Rishar’s words. His instincts screamed that he must not hear what Rishar was about to say.

“Don’t say it.”

Etienne shook his head, his face filled with fear. He had to prevent these vague feelings from taking shape and gaining a name.

“You said you didn’t understand, so I’m trying to explain. Why are you stopping me?”

Rishar frowned at Etienne’s attempt to block his words. He felt hurt by what seemed like rejection.

“I don’t want to hear it.”

Etienne lowered his head as if avoiding Rishar’s gaze. He couldn’t bear to look at him.

“You’re being selfish.”

At Rishar’s criticism, Etienne’s head dropped even lower. Though he knew he was being selfish, he couldn’t help it. If his guess was correct, he absolutely must not hear ‘those words.’

Because if he heard those words from Rishar’s lips, everything would truly crumble.

“I don’t want to hear it.”

Etienne curled up and covered his ears with both hands. Though it was childish behavior, it was the best he could do. Rishar’s patience snapped at this clear rejection. Unable to hold back any longer, he reached out.

“You’ll listen whether you want to or not!”

“…!”

Etienne opened his eyes in surprise at the strong grip on his wrist. Before him, he saw fierce waves.

“When you told me to become emperor today, wasn’t that a sign that you too were ready to move forward? Then why are you trying to run away again?”

Rishar raised his voice, his face contorted. Etienne stared blankly at the navy blue eyes that were surging violently. Though frightening, he couldn’t look away.

“I endured it when you first pushed me away, when you tried to keep your distance. Because I knew your situation, knew how hard it was for you, I waited. But I’ve had enough! I’m human too. I’m tired too!”

“Rishar…”

“Answer me! How much longer… How much longer must I watch you avoid me and push me away?”

Rishar breathed heavily, unable to contain the emotions he had been suppressing.

The blue eyes watching him shook violently. Like an incoming tide, Rishar’s emotions seeped into his skin.

“I… ah!”

Etienne, who had been calling Rishar’s name with a bewildered face, hastily swallowed his breath. Pheromones were flowing from Rishar.

Danger.

Etienne tried to shake off Rishar’s hand, feeling his insides growing hot. But he couldn’t muster any strength.

“Ugh.”

Etienne trembled like trapped prey. It was the first time he had faced Rishar’s pheromones so directly, in their raw form.

I’m scared.

Etienne hunched his shoulders, feeling terror constricting his entire body. His heart pounded at this unprecedented fear.

Usually, Rishar had an almost perfect pheromone control.

Unlike other Alphas, he didn’t flaunt his pheromones. This was due to experiences in his youth when his immature pheromone control had hurt others.

Rishar’s pheromones were that powerful, and only a few among Alphas and Omegas could handle them. Even Betas felt pressure when he deliberately released his pheromones.

That’s why Rishar always kept his pheromones in check. He was especially careful around Etienne, who had a weak constitution.

Thanks to Rishar’s consideration, Etienne could always feel comfortable around him. But now was different. For the first time showing his raw emotions, Rishar was unable to control his pheromones.

“I can become emperor or anything else if you wish it. I’ll even become a traitor if that’s what it takes! If that’s the path to your happiness! But if the price is you leaving my side, then I refuse.”

Rishar growled, exhaling rough breaths. The pheromones flowing from his body responded to his emotions, raging wildly and making even the surrounding air vibrate.

“Ha, haah.”

Etienne panted, feeling the scent pouring over him like fierce waves. His breathing grew increasingly rapid and his head spun.

“Urgh!”

Etienne retched, unable to withstand the pheromones. His stomach felt like it was turning inside out. Even holding his breath, he could still sense Rishar’s scent.

“Hyung-nim?”

Finally noticing something was wrong, Rishar called out to Etienne. Etienne couldn’t answer. A loud ringing filled his ears. The world spun around him.

“Let, let go.”

Etienne spoke while trembling. His head felt not just hot but like it was melting. In contrast, his fingertips and toes grew cold.

Ah, this is my limit.

Etienne closed his eyes, feeling his consciousness floating away. He felt as if the threads holding his body together had snapped. He couldn’t endure any longer.

“Hyung-nim!”

An urgent cry pierced through his fading consciousness. Simultaneously, strong arms wrapped tightly around his collapsing body.

“Etienne hyung-nim!”

Etienne’s lips moved slightly as if trying to respond to the voice desperately calling him. He wanted to say he was fine, but no voice would come out. Only choked breaths escaped.

“Wake up! Hyung-nim! Damn it! Etienne!”

Rishar’s voice grew increasingly distant. His head, having lost all strength, fell against the firm chest.

I need to tell him I’m fine…

Feeling the violently beating heart beyond the chest he was pressed against, Etienne blinked slowly. Through his blurry vision, he could see Rishar’s surprised face. He could also feel Rishar’s pheromones flowing out like a storm.

Ah.

A breath, whether of surprise or resignation, escaped through his slightly parted lips. At that moment, Etienne’s body went limp like a puppet with cut strings.

As his precariously maintained consciousness finally broke, the world darkened like being swallowed by the black night.

IV. No Secret Lasts Forever

“Where the hell, have you lost your mind!”

A shrieking scream that sounded like a roar echoed through the reception room of the Empress’s palace. Leona, her face red with anger, shouted at Etienne.

“You should be more careful than ever, and you fainted in front of him! Are you in your right mind? Why don’t you just cast a spell to get caught while you’re at it!”

“I apologize.”

Etienne apologized to Leona with his head bowed low. In times like these, the only way was to apologize again and again until her anger subsided.

“You shouldn’t have done something to apologize for!”

Leona’s anger didn’t subside easily. Unable to contain her boiling rage, she slammed the table with a bang. The vase wobbled and fell to the floor.

Crash!

The vase shattered with a loud noise as it hit the solid marble floor. At the same time, broken glass pieces scattered everywhere.

Etienne slightly curled his fingers at the stinging sensation felt on the back of his hand. A glass shard must have grazed him.

“Your Majesty, please calm yourself.”

The head maid intervened, unable to watch any longer. Leona’s expression crumpled when she noticed blood flowing from Etienne’s hand. She sat down, tightly pressing her lips as if trying to contain her anger. The head maid quickly brought water.

“Haah…”

Leona, who had been breathing heavily, emptied the glass of water in one gulp. The cold water seemed to calm her burning insides slightly. However, she was still irritated.

How shocked she had been when she received word that Etienne had collapsed in front of Rishar a few days ago.

Leona glared disapprovingly at Etienne, who stood before her like a criminal. Just thinking about that day made her dizzy.

“…You didn’t let him find out you’re an Omega, did you?”

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

Leona questioned skeptically. At her sharp words, Etienne bit his lower lip firmly. Though he said no, it wasn’t something he could be certain about.

“Tsk.”

Leona clicked her tongue at Etienne’s inability to answer her question promptly. Despite being the son she had painfully given birth to, there wasn’t a single thing about him she liked.

“Well, if he knew you were an Omega, he wouldn’t have stayed quiet about it.”

Having reached her own conclusion, Leona forced herself to calm down her anxiety. She stared at Etienne, who stood there with a pale face.

“This is truly troublesome.”

Leona placed her hand on her forehead and muttered to herself, lost in thought. Duke Herace was waiting for the right timing to submit the proposal for Etienne’s crown prince investiture, but the opportunity wasn’t coming easily.

The neutral and supporting noble factions, who would be casting their votes for the crown prince investiture, were more reluctant than expected.

When the Duke requested their cooperation, they questioned Etienne’s abilities, pointing out his complete lack of political activity. They expressed the opinion that it seemed too early to invest Etienne as crown prince.

It was a plausible excuse, but in reality, they were trying to support whichever side proved stronger between Grand Duke Eckhart and Etienne. They would likely continue weighing their options until the very end without making a decision.

‘Even if we submit the proposal now, its passage is uncertain. It would be better to proceed with the crown prince investiture more leisurely.’

‘Is the situation that bad? We have more numbers. If we push it somehow…’

‘If we push and fail, it could rather increase the members supporting the resistance. Many among the neutral nobles disapprove of our family’s dominance.’

‘Are you saying they support the Grand Duke to keep us in check us? Stupid fools.’

‘That’s how politics works. Anyway, merely having an advantage isn’t enough. We need to win overwhelmingly. That’s the only way to prevent that aftermath. You already experienced it once already twenty years ago, didn’t you?’

‘Hmm.’

‘We’re in an even more dangerous situation now than we were then. We don’t have the previous emperor’s support, and we’re harboring a secret that must not be discovered. We can’t rest easy until the prince ascends to the throne.’

‘…Because a crown prince can be easily deposed, unlike an emperor?’

‘Exactly. That’s why we must be careful. If we force the investiture proposal and it gets rejected, the damage we’ll receive will be too great. For the future as well, the crown prince investiture must proceed with as little controversy as possible.’

Recalling her conversation with Duke Herace, Leona gritted her teeth. She wanted to proceed with the matter ignoring the neutral and supporting nobles, but the situation wasn’t in their favor at all.

Whether she liked it or not, she needed their power to defeat the rapidly expanding faction of the past few years.

“If only you were an Alpha.”

Leona let out a long sigh as her mind was troubled. At her lamentation filled with deep regret, Etienne tightly clenched his fists.

It was familiar for Leona to act this way. Whenever something happened regarding Etienne, she would habitually mutter such words. So there was no need to feel hurt again and again.

So why did his chest ache, especially today?

Etienne bit his lower lip, suppressing the stings of pain that were starting to appear. His mouth tasted bitter, as if bile was rising.

“If only you weren’t an Omega.”

The muttering that followed struck Etienne’s heart again. Etienne’s head lowered even more.

What was I expecting when I knew what kind of person she was?

Etienne sneered at his own foolishness. Leona was always like this. She always blamed Etienne and spoke as if he was the root of all problems.

Today was no different. That Etienne had been sick, that he had fainted – none of it mattered to Leona. What mattered to her was that Etienne had almost been discovered as an Omega.

Leona, enraged that all their efforts so far had almost been wasted, furiously scolded Etienne whom she was seeing after several weeks. Naturally, there were no warm greetings or kind words of concern.

It’s fine. It has always been like this.

Etienne comforted himself while putting strength into his stinging eyes.

The sad feelings that had risen to his throat threatened to overflow at any moment. His chest felt as empty as if there was a hole in it. It seemed his heart had weakened along with his body.

“So, what exactly happened that day? Why did you meet with him? And before that, why did you visit the military department?”

Leona, having calmed down somewhat, asked what she had been curious about. Etienne said what he had prepared in advance.

“I heard that Grand Duke Eckhart told His Majesty that he had no interest in the throne. I visited the military department because I wanted to confirm if those words were true.”

“What? He said such thing?”

“Yes.”

Leona showed a surprised expression at Etienne’s answer. Etienne calmly added,

“When His Majesty suddenly visited my palace last time, that’s when I heard it. It was hard to believe those words, and I thought it might be intended to cause confusion on our side…”

“Hmm.”

Leona’s eyes narrowed at Etienne’s words. Come to think of it, she remembered receiving such a report.

“After going all the way to the military, why did you just return?”

“There was an unexpected interruption. Because of that, the atmosphere wasn’t right for a calm discussion, so I left with the promise to meet another time.”

“So that’s why he visited your palace?”

“Yes. He came saying he wanted to apologize for the commotion at the military department. Then we got into an argument, and the Grand Duke got agitated and released his pheromones. After that, as you know, Mother…”

“I see. What did he say?”

“He told me as well that he has no interest in the throne.”

“Nonsense.”

Leona snorted. After a moment, in a much better mood, she opened her mouth.

“Well, this incident isn’t all bad. We’ve gained leverage about him causing you harm.”

“What?”

“The doctor said you collapsed due to pheromone shock, didn’t he? We plan to use that to attack him.”

“Ah.”

Etienne’s face colored with surprise at the unexpected words. Not noticing his expression, Leona revealed her plan with a sinister smile.

“At tomorrow’s state council meeting, Count Herace will accuse him of attempted assassination of an imperial family member. He plans to claim that he released his pheromones to harm you.”

“Will that work?”

“I don’t expect him to actually get the charge of attempted assassination. But just raising the issue this way will be enough to damage him. After all, it’s true that you collapsed while talking with him, and we have the doctor’s diagnosis.”

“…”

“We can at least get him confined for a few days. Then rumors will spread about how the Grand Duke, hungry for power, hurt the Prince.”

As Leona continued speaking, Etienne’s expression darkened. He was worried that Rishar might get into unnecessary trouble because of him.

“Anyway, keep that in mind. And I plan to visit the East soon.”

“The East?”

“Yes. There has been some suspicious movements recently.”

Leona’s face turned cold. The East had been the center of the noble faction for the past several hundred years. The House Herace had been leading the noble faction for generations as the leader of the East.

However, recently there were signs of deviation, centered around young nobles in the East. Those captivated by Grand Duke Eckhart were muddying the waters by calling for change.

“I need to deal with the mudfish stirring up the waters and strengthen our bonds once again.”

Leona twisted one corner of her mouth and her eyes gleamed dangerously like a predator before a hunt.

“Is it necessary for you to go personally, Mother? What about the Duke?”

“The Duke will come with me. It’s been two years since we last went to the East, so it’s time for a visit. I need to check if my dogs are still obedient.”

‘Dogs.’ Etienne frowned as he realized who Leona was referring to. The dogs she mentioned were the nobles who were infatuated with Leona.

They were her lovers, and they would do anything for her. They had been the support needed for Leona to establish her position as Empress and build her power.

“To train dogs, you must consistently give them rewards. Only then will they wag their tails and offer their loyalty. There is no loyalty without rewards.”

Leona spoke confidently. An intense rose scent flowed from her body. It was an incredibly seductive scent even to another Omega.

Etienne suddenly wondered if ‘Last,’ the final Omega emperor, had been someone like Leona. In his view, there was no difference between Last, who had thrown the empire into chaos by indulging in pleasure with numerous Alphas, and Leona.

“Ah, right, while I’m away from the imperial palace, you stay at the capital’s detached palace under the pretense of your recovery.”

“The detached palace?”

“Yeah. Didn’t I tell you earlier? I’ll use this opportunity to put some pressure on him. For that, you need to keep pretending to be sick.”

“Ah.”

“The imperial palace has many eyes and ears, so we don’t know where words might leak. So stay at the detached palace until I return.”

“…Understood.”

Etienne replied in a weak voice. He wanted to stop Leona, but he didn’t have the strength. If he defended Rishar even slightly here, it would immediately make her suspicious.

Etienne took a small deep breath as he felt a sigh rising. His heart was heavy as Rishar would end up harmed because of him.

Maybe it’s for the best.

Etienne tried to think as positively as possible. Leona and Duke Herace leaving the capital together was a good opportunity for him. After thinking this, Etienne opened his mouth with a tense face.

“Mother.”

“Hmm? What is it?”

“While I’m staying at the detached palace this time… how about taking a medication break?”

“What?”

Leona’s brow furrowed at the unexpected words.

Looking at Etienne with narrowed eyes, Leona leaned back comfortably on the sofa. It was rare for him to suggest something first like this, so she thought she’d listen.

“A medication break, you mean what the doctor mentioned?”

“Yes. The doctor told me that the pheromone shock I experienced this time was because my body had reached its limit. That means this could happen again in the future.”

“And?”

“Considering the distance from the capital to the east, it will take at least a month for Your Majesty to return. Meanwhile, I have to stay at the detached palace under the pretext of recovery. I think it’s the perfect time to take a medication break.”

“Hmm.”

Leona lowered her gaze, lost in thought. Etienne swallowed dryly while looking at her tightly closed red lips. After a moment, having finished calculating in her head, Leona smiled slightly.

“That’s not a bad idea.”

I did it. Etienne clenched his fist as he watched Leona’s lips curve into an arc.

With Leona away and him in the detached palace, surveillance would be more lax than now. Etienne planned to use that to meet Rishar and discuss what to do next.

“Talk with the doctor and make a plan.”

“Thank you.”

“Let’s see, for a medication break… we should minimize the number of people going to the detached palace.”

“I think that would be best. How about just bringing my main attendant, the doctor, and a few palace servants to attend to me?”

“What about guards?”

“Aren’t there already people managing the detached palace? I won’t be going anywhere… I’ll just be cooped up in the detached palace, so is there really a need to bring them?”

“That’s true, but just in case, take two or three with you.”

“I will.”

Having obtained what he wanted from Leona, Etienne readily agreed. Although it was disappointing that he couldn’t shake off the guard knights completely, he thought this much was good enough.

As the conversation was wrapping up, Leona gestured for him to leave.

“I’m tired. You may withdraw.”

“Yes, Mother.”

At Leona’s dismissal, Etienne bowed his head deeply. He left the reception room with a lighter heart.

 

* * *

 

“Haah.”

Edwin stopped walking and sighed with a dark expression. He let out an uncountable number of sighs. Edwin’s main attendant was following and sent a sympathetic look at his lord who seemed deeply troubled.

Something must have happened with the Prince that day.

The main attendant was almost certain of this. After all, the Emperor had become like this since the day after his private audience with the prince.

The problem was that there was no way to know what conversation the two had. Nor could the main attendant take the initiative to pry.

“…How is the Prince?”

“I heard he’s much better.”

“Is that so?”

Edwin’s face brightened very briefly at the attendant’s answer before darkening again.

“And Rishar?”

“He’s acting as usual, but still…”

The main attendant’s voice trailed off. Edwin nodded as if he knew what the answer would be without hearing it. His heart still raced thinking about what happened two days ago.

“Only good for the Empress, huh.”

Muttering to himself, Edwin sat down on a bench prepared in the garden with a gloomy face. His head was dizzy, perhaps from not sleeping properly.

“I want to be alone, so you may leave.”

Edwin waved his hand to dismiss people. He pressed his throbbing temples and leaned back on the bench, tilting his head back.

Though he came outside because his heart felt stifled, his chest still felt as heavy as a stone. He couldn’t tell how many days it had been like this already.

“Haah.”

Another sigh escaped between his lips. Edwin looked up at the sky with tired eyes. The sky was cruelly clear without a single cloud.

‘Hello, Your Highness.’

A clear voice rang through his hazy mind. Edwin closed his eyes as if trying to ignore the voice buzzing in his ears. Whenever he saw the spotless clear sky, he inevitably thought of the one he missed.

‘Pleased to meet you. I am Meriel Sion.’

Meriel.

Edwin quietly murmured the name he couldn’t speak aloud. Despite the long time that had passed, memories related to that person were still as vivid as if they happened yesterday.

Edwin met Meriel at his debutante ball when he was sixteen. Meriel was the first to approach and greet Edwin, who was alone in a corner, unable to talk with others.

‘I didn’t know Count Sion had a child.’

‘Ah, that’s because I’m adopted!’

‘Adopted?’

Edwin frowned at Meriel’s words. No wonder his manner and behavior seemed awkward for a noble. He seemed to be a commoner who had manifested as an Omega.

‘Count Sion’s adopted son…’

Curiosity settled in Edwin’s eyes as he looked at Meriel. He knew that provincial nobles adopted commoner Omegas to form connections with other nobles who were more powerful, but this was his first time seeing it in person.

‘I see. Anyway, there’s nothing for you to gain from greeting me. So you may leave now.’

His interest in Meriel didn’t last long. Edwin’s expression hardened as he felt the surrounding gazes glancing at them. He roughly wrapped up the conversation and dismissed Meriel.

‘Huh? Already?’

Meriel tilted his head while looking at Edwin who was gesturing for him to leave. Edwin snapped at Meriel who was still standing in front of him.

‘What, aren’t you going?’

‘But I want to talk more with Your Highness.’

‘How rude. A mere count’s adopted son dares to ignore a prince’s command?’

‘Ah, I’m sorry. I’m still inexperienced with etiquette… please forgive me just this once.’

Meriel apologized with an ‘oops’ expression and smiled playfully. Edwin, whose attention was momentarily caught, awkwardly cleared his throat.

‘Didn’t Count Sion tell you about me?’

‘Well… I haven’t particularly heard anything about Your Highness…’

‘…I’m an illegitimate child. I’m called a prince in name only, but I’m really nothing. If you were adopted, they’re probably looking for a good marriage match for you, so it would be better not to get involved with me…’

‘Hey, how can you say that! Whether illegitimate or whatever, a prince is a prince!’

‘What?’

‘If we’re going by that logic, I’m a commoner, right? Ah, is that why people avoided my greetings? That must be it!’

Meriel exclaimed as if having an epiphany. Are all commoners who are Omegas like this? Edwin blinked while looking at Meriel. He was different from any noble Edwin had seen before.

‘Anyway, I don’t care! You’re the only one who accepted my greeting here today! So from now on, please take good care of me!’

Meriel smiled brightly and offered a handshake. This too was against etiquette, but instead of pointing it out, Edwin took Meriel’s hand.

Then Meriel smiled brightly. Edwin was completely captivated by that smile.

‘Hello, Your Highness! Nice to see you again!’

After that, Edwin would run into Meriel occasionally. Each time, Meriel would greet Edwin first. But Edwin had to push him away because of his unstable position.

‘I told you to stop acting close with me. People are looking at us strangely.’

‘Huh? Who? If there are such people, I’ll scold them! Besides, Your Highness is my first friend!’

‘Who’s your friend?’

‘Eh? Aren’t you my friend?’

‘No, I’m not. So stop pretending to be close.’

‘I don’t want to!’

‘You don’t want to?’

‘I want to become friends with Your Highness! I’m going to keep pretending to be close!’

The iron wall Edwin had put between them didn’t stop Meriel. He persistently approached Edwin. Eventually, Edwin became friends with Meriel.

‘Your Highness, I got compliments on my scent today. They said it was very unique and refreshing… is it really?’

‘Well… it’s not bad.’

At first, others rejected him for being a commoner, but Meriel quickly blended into social circles thanks to his bright and cheerful personality and unique charm.

Unlike most Omega pheromones which smelled like flowers, Meriel’s pheromone had the same scent like the sun lighting the sea. His appearance was as unique as his scent.

Unlike the usual nobles with pale white skin, Meriel’s was a healthy tanned. His hands and feet had small scars and calluses from working at sea since he was young.

Nevertheless, Meriel was incredibly beautiful. If other Omega nobles were flowers grown in a greenhouse, Meriel was coral blooming in the rough sea.

To the nobles, Meriel was a breath of fresh air. They were drawn to Meriel’s charm that was different from their own. As his popularity rose, numerous marriage proposals flooded in.

Edwin felt an inexplicable urgency watching the nobles courting Meriel. He couldn’t understand why he felt this way, why he was so anxious.

Time passed, and Meriel’s marriage was decided. His partner was Grand Duke Eckhart. What was most surprising was that their marriage wasn’t political but one of love.

The marriage between an Omega who was born a commoner and an Alpha who was one of the most powerful nobles in the empire was truly groundbreaking. Many were amazed by the two’s love. However, no one was more shocked than Edwin.

‘I received a proposal from Grand Duke Eckhart.’

When Meriel delivered the marriage news with a happy face, Edwin felt like his world was crumbling. His chest hurt as if he had been stabbed with a knife. Only then did he realize that his feelings were love.

‘The Grand Duke is truly kind. People say he’s cold, but that’s not true at all.’

Edwin couldn’t say anything as he watched Meriel smile while talking about Grand Duke Eckhart. An overwhelming sense of regret washed over him.

If only he hadn’t realized it.

It was too late. Edwin despaired the moment he realized his feelings, only to face heartbreak.

But even if he had realized it earlier, he probably wouldn’t have been able to confess his feelings to Meriel. After all, he was the very picture of someone in love.

‘Con… gratulations.’

Edwin gathered all his patience to offer his congratulations to Meriel. He could only hope his smile didn’t appear awkward.

‘Thank you, Your Highness.’

Fortunately, Meriel didn’t notice anything strange. Edwin watched him smiling happily while swallowing the tears that threatened to rise in his throat.

A few months later, Grand Duke Eckhart and Meriel’s wedding was held. Edwin didn’t attend the ceremony in the end. He couldn’t bear to watch Meriel become someone else’s partner with a sound mind.

He volunteered for the monster wave expedition, almost like he was running away.

‘It’s about time you got married too.’

‘Pardon?’

‘I’ve put in a marriage proposal to the House Herace. They showed a positive response.’

‘What do you mean… without saying anything to me…’

‘Marry the Princess Herace. Then I’ll give you the imperial throne.’

On the day he returned from the expedition, the Emperor brought up the marriage proposal with the Herace family. Naturally, Edwin opposed it.

However, the Emperor wouldn’t budge. Leona Herace was the same. Both of them completely ignored Edwin’s wishes.

In the end, Edwin married Leona and, after various twists and turns, became the Crown Prince. And not long after Edwin became Crown Prince, the Emperor died suddenly.

After ascending to the throne, Edwin lived busily. He couldn’t bear it otherwise. He believed time would blur his feelings, but his feelings for Meriel remained unchanged. If anything, they grew stronger.

That’s why he couldn’t consummate his marriage with Leona. Though he knew he should fulfill his duties as Emperor, his heart wouldn’t move. She was different from Meriel in every way.

Then the incident happened. Leona, whose patience had reached its limit, made her move. After spending an unwanted night with her, Edwin became even more devastated. He suffered from severe depression.

‘Your Majesty, are you unwell? You look terribly pale.’

‘I haven’t been sleeping well lately. By the way, the child has grown quite a bit.’

‘Do you think so too, Your Majesty? He’s been growing rapidly since starting his sword training.’

‘Sword training? Already?’

‘Yes. The sword master says he has talent. I think he might become a knight like his father.’

Edwin’s only joy was having tea time with the Grand Duke’s family when they visited the palace with their son.

Since Grand Duke Eckhart was very busy, Edwin could only spend time with Meriel and their son, Rishar.

Then one day, an accident occurred. The Grand Duke and his wife were caught in a landslide while inspecting their territory.

‘Your Majesty. Grand Duke and the Grand Duchess Eckhart have met with an accident!’

‘What? What accident?’

‘The Grand Duke passed away on the spot… and the Grand Duchess is in critical condition…’

‘No, that can’t be.’

Edwin stammered with a blank face. He couldn’t believe what he had heard. Though he wanted to leave for the Eckhart territory immediately, he couldn’t.

Please let him be safe.

Edwin spent hellish hours waiting for new information. He prayed and prayed that nothing would happen to Meriel. However, Edwin’s wishes were not granted.

A week later, word arrived that the Grand Duchess had passed away. It was such a meaningless death.

Meriel’s funeral was held in the Eckhart territory. Since the Duke and Duchess had passed away with only a week’s difference, their funerals were held together.

Edwin attended the funeral, overriding the nobles’ opposition. And there, he saw Rishar. The young Duke who was left alone after losing his parents.

‘Young Duke.’

Edwin approached Rishar as if enchanted.

The child, who had been sitting in a daze, slowly raised his head at his call. Black hair that resembled Meriel’s swayed gently. Edwin caught his breath at the deep navy blue eyes that looked up at him.

‘Emperor… Your Majesty?’

Rishar, who had visited the imperial palace several times with Meriel, recognized Edwin immediately.

Edwin hesitated when he sensed the pheromones flowing from the child. It was a scent that reminded him of a winter sea at night.

The moment he caught the scent of the sea from the child, Edwin felt tears welling up and gritted his teeth. The child had Meriel’s colors and a similar scent.

‘I… will become your guardian.’

Edwin impulsively reached out his hand. People around them stirred at his declaration. The child’s eyes widened.

‘Come with me.’

After a long silence, the child hesitantly reached out his hand in response to Edwin’s words. Edwin felt his heart swell at the small warmth that grabbed his fingers. It felt like discovering a lost milestone in his life.

I will live for this child.

Edwin made his resolution while holding the small hand that resembled a tiny fern. After the funeral was over, he returned to the imperial palace with Rishar. And that led to the present.

‘…’

Edwin slowly closed and opened his eyes as he felt his vision blur. The sky was still clear and blue.

Edwin clenched and unclenched his fist, remembering the sensation from that time. He didn’t regret taking Rishar’s hand that day. Even if he could go back, he would probably make the same choice.

But his heart felt heavier than before. It wasn’t about Rishar that he felt regret, but something else.

Etienne.

Edwin’s face clouded as he thought of his son. His whole body grew cold, as if drained of blood, when he remembered the child looking at him with empty eyes.

Am I feeling guilty only now?

Edwin thought to himself bitterly. It had been twenty-three years. During that time, he had never once acted like a father to the child.

He had kept his distance, saying it was painful to look at the child, and turned away thinking of him as the Empress’s child rather than his own.

And now he felt bothered that the child had closed his heart to him – even he found it absurd.

Damn it.

Edwin swallowed the curse rising from within and rubbed his face with his dry hands.

It wasn’t that he felt comfortable turning away from the child. But he thought it was unavoidable. He had acted cowardly because otherwise, he would have to face being the bad guy. That’s how he had rationalized his behavior.

“I’m so pathetic.”

Edwin finally cursed at himself, his face contorting. The more he thought about it, the more unbearable the shame became.

Why do I always end up with regrets?

Edwin sighed deeply at the wave of remorse. He didn’t know how to face Etienne anymore, or how to treat him. It was all his own karma.

“Haaah…”

Just as Edwin let out a sigh so heavy his shoulders shook, he sensed someone’s presence nearby.

“Hm?”

Edwin’s head snapped up at the presence. He jumped to his feet upon discovering Etienne just entering the garden. Etienne also stopped in his tracks upon seeing Edwin.

“Prince?”

“Father?”

Surprise flashed across Etienne’s face as he recognized Edwin. He quickly collected himself and gave a formal greeting.

“I pay my respects to the Sun of the Empire.”

“Never mind the formalities.”

Edwin waved off the greeting and approached Etienne. He examined Etienne’s face with worried eyes.

“I heard you collapsed… Are you alright? Should you be moving around like this?”

“Yes, I’m much better.”

Etienne gave a faint smile as if to say he was fine. Edwin clicked his tongue softly as he observed the skin that remained pale even under the bright sunlight. Somehow his complexion never seemed healthy whenever he saw him.

What should I say?

Edwin’s lips moved silently, unable to find the right words. Having rarely had any proper conversations with Etienne, even exchanging simple greetings felt awkward.

The conversation was equally uncomfortable for Etienne. As both remained silent, there was an awkward silence. Edwin was the one who broke it.

“Ahem, if you’re not feeling well, you should be resting. Where are you coming from?”

“Her Majesty summoned me.”

She summoned her sick child to her palace instead of visiting him? Edwin’s brow furrowed so deeply that wrinkles formed at Etienne’s answer.

He used to think the Empress was overly protective of the child, but not anymore.

Leona never truly cherished Etienne. Her interference in every aspect of Etienne’s life wasn’t for his sake, but for her own.

“The Empress really… summoning someone who’s ill…”

Edwin stopped mid-sentence as he was clicking his tongue at Leona’s behavior. Could he really criticize her when he had allowed her to manipulate the child as she pleased?

That thought stopped his words. To the child, both the perpetrator and the bystander were equally bad people.

“Father?”

Etienne called out to Edwin questioningly when he suddenly stopped speaking.

When Edwin saw his face reflected in those cloudy sky blue eyes, he unconsciously averted his gaze. Then he noticed the red marks on the pale back of Etienne’s hand.

“What’s that…”

Edwin’s mouth fell open at the sight of the red lines drawn across the white hand. They looked like cuts from something sharp.

“What happened to your hand… How did you get hurt?”

“My hand? Ah.”

Etienne slightly furrowed his brow as he checked the back of his hand at Edwin’s words. As he became aware of the wound, he started to feel again the pain he had forgotten.