HTTRPIAO Ch 25-29

“Hmm…”

Etienne, who had been lost in old memories for a moment, headed toward the back garden. Perhaps because he was using the secret passage after a long time, he suddenly felt like going somewhere.

“Was it this way?”

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Etienne traced his memories and entered deeper into the back garden. The place he was heading to now was also somewhere he had stopped going, just like the secret passage, for some time.

As he pushed aside the bushes blocking his path, he heard a faint sound of water from far away.

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“Found it.”

Etienne’s expression brightened as he realized he had come to the right place. He felt an inexplicable excitement and quickened his steps.

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Creack.

After clearing away the branches obstructing his path and emerging from the bushes, a flower that shone brightly even in the darkness caught his eye. He could also see the water flowing between large rocks where the flower bloomed, leading to a small lake.

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Etienne’s steps quickened upon discovering the familiar scenery. Then suddenly, his steps stopped. Someone was standing in front of the lake.

“Rishar…?”

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Standing rooted to the spot, Etienne called out the name of the unexpected visitor.

“Hyung-nim?”

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At Etienne’s voice, Rishar, who had been gazing at the lake, turned his head. A smile bloomed on his calm face like a flower.

“Why are you…”

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Etienne moved his lips with a surprised expression but then closed his mouth. Though he was surprised to see someone unexpected, he soon realized it was only natural to ask.

This was a garden that had been abandoned for a long time, with paths that had disappeared and no trace of human footsteps. Unless someone accidentally discovered it, only Rishar and himself could come here.

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This place was essentially their secret location.

“His Majesty kindly offered me a place to stay for one night. I’m scheduled to attend the state council meeting tomorrow, so I’m staying here today.”

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“I see.”

Rishar, who had approached through the flower clusters, softly smiled and resolved Etienne’s curiosity. His round eyes curved gently.

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“I couldn’t sleep because it’s been a while since I slept in the imperial palace, so I went out for a walk… I got lucky, I get to meet you like this.”

Unlike the awkward Etienne, Rishar seemed to be in good spirits. He seemed somewhat moved.

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“You remembered this place.”

“…I didn’t remember until a moment ago. I just walked and ended up here.”

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Etienne answered, blunt. This was actually the first time he had come here in several years.

After deciding to keep his distance from Rishar, Etienne had deliberately avoided places where he might encounter him.

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The last time he came was probably the day Rishar left for the monster expedition. Etienne traced his hazy memories and continued mumbling.

“I suddenly remembered… and came here after a very long time.”

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Etienne emphasized once more that this was his first time visiting after a long time and then closed his mouth.

After speaking, he felt like he was making excuses and regretted it. He felt like a thief caught red-handed.

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“What a good timing then.”

Rishar wore a bright smile, looking at Etienne, who was somewhat embarrassed. He didn’t care whether Etienne had come here or not during his absence from the capital.

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What mattered was the present.

Rishar was happy that Etienne had not forgotten the place where they had shared memories because it seemed like Etienne hadn’t completely cut ties with him, and that maybe he still had a place in Etienne’s heart.

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“It’s been three years since I’ve been here, but it seems like nothing has changed. It’s like time has stopped, exactly as I remembered. I’m surprised.”

Rishar, whose mood had improved, looked around with an excited face. He moved his hand to gently brush the flowers swaying in the night breeze. The flowers, bathed in moonlight, sparkled between his fingers.

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“How is it maintained so well when no one manages it… Isn’t it mysterious?”

“…Indeed.”

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Etienne responded in a subdued voice. Fortunately, Rishar didn’t notice anything strange in Etienne’s tone. He hummed a tune and approached the lake, which glowed blue.

Etienne’s gaze moved quietly following Rishar. Every time he took a step, the flowers covering the ground rustled and swayed.

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Evening primrose, Chinese violet, nottingham, moonflower, Dutchman’s pipe cactus…

The names of flowers they had searched through field guides together in their childhood suddenly came to mind.

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Though he didn’t know who created this garden, it was truly peculiar.

Etienne looked at the flowers swaying in the night breeze. All the flowers here bloomed only at night. The blue moss on the rocks around the lake and valley was the same. In other words, this was a garden that only bloomed at night.

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“Hyung-nim?”

Etienne, who had been looking at the glowing blue rocks, turned his head at the calling voice.

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“What’s wrong? Are you tired?”

Seeming worried about Etienne standing still, Rishar approached him again. Unlike moments ago when he was happy to meet Etienne, he now noticed that Etienne was wearing only a thin pajama.

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“Your look…”

Rishar hurriedly took off his cardigan after seeing Etienne’s lips turn pale.

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Etienne unconsciously shivered at the warmth enveloping his shoulders. Though he didn’t think he was cold, his body responded when the warm temperature touched him.

 

“I’m, I’m fine.”

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“No, you’re not.”

Rishar answered with a stiff face and moved his hand. He was angry at himself for being foolishly excited and not noticing Etienne’s condition. He forcibly made Etienne wear the cardigan, buttoning up all the buttons before stepping back.

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“Please wear it.”

“Mmm.”

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Etienne, who had unexpectedly been made to wear Rishar’s cardigan, rolled his eyes. He felt the warmth seeping into the cardigan melting his body, which had frozen in the cold air.

“It’s a bit… big.”

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Etienne looked down at the cardigan that reached his thighs, feeling his cold cheeks warm up. He looked awkward.

Because of the significant size difference between Rishar and himself, the feel of the same clothing was different when he wore it compared to Rishar.

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“I’ll fold it for you.”

At Etienne’s mumbling, Rishar reached out again. He skillfully folded the sleeves that completely covered Etienne’s hands. Then, pale hands with prominent blue veins were revealed.

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Because his hands were so thin that the bone joints protruded and looked extremely cold, Rishar momentarily considered whether he should pull the sleeves back down.

“I’ll return it later.”

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Feeling Rishar’s gaze, Etienne pulled his arm away as if hiding his skinny hand. He felt strangely embarrassed.

“You mustn’t catch a cold, so please take it.”

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After folding the other sleeve, Rishar squinted his eyes and smiled. Then, as if he had a good idea, he made a playful expression.

“Since I’m lending it to you, you’ll have to return it later, right?”

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“Huh?”

“The cardigan. I hope you’ll return it directly, not sending it back with a servant.”

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“Directly?”

“Yes, directly.”

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Rishar emphasized the word ‘directly’. Though he thought Etienne wouldn’t agree, he figured he had nothing to lose. Making an excuse to meet was what mattered.

“…Okay.”

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After a brief contemplation, Etienne nodded. Rishar was scheduled to stay in the capital for several months. Depending on the circumstances, he might stay even longer.

That meant they would inevitably have opportunities to see each other.

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Etienne decided to acknowledge that constantly avoiding Rishar wasn’t the answer. It was time to steel himself to resolve the issues surrounding them.

“It’s a promise. Don’t change your mind later.”

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Rishar, who didn’t expect Etienne to agree, opened his eyes wide and then curved the corners of his eyes. It felt like he was dreaming.

“I said okay.”

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Etienne responded with an annoyed expression to Rishar, who asked again. Despite Etienne’s response, Rishar seemed unsettled and extended his pinky finger.

“Hmm, that won’t do. Let’s pinky swear.”

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“What?”

“Isn’t a promise supposed to involve linking pinky fingers and pressing our thumbs together?”

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“We’re not children…”

Etienne looked at Rishar with an expression that showed the absurdity of it all. Rishar, unfaced by Etienne’s expression, wiggled his pinky finger.

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“You won’t do it?”

“Haah.”

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This is driving me crazy.

Etienne narrowed his brows and sighed internally. Then Rishar made a look like a puppy that had fallen into water. That expression made the surge of irritation instantly subside.

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“Fine. Fine, I’ll do it. Will that be enough?”

Etienne raised his hand helplessly. No matter what, he was always weak to Rishar.

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“Thank you.”

When Etienne linked his pinky finger, Rishar smiled brightly. For a moment, Etienne felt like someone was strongly hitting his chest.

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“Hyung-nim?”

Rishar tilted his head when Etienne’s expression hardened. Etienne quickly pressed their thumbs. His fingertips trembled slightly.

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It was just linking pinkies and pressing their thumbs. It’s just trivial physical contact, so why am I feeling this way?

Etienne bit his lower lip, feeling his mouth go dry. Suddenly, he felt an inexplicable tension.

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“Is it done?”

Etienne pulled his hand back as if escaping. Badump, badump, his heart was beating so violently it felt like it might burst out.

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Etienne took a step back, creating distance from Rishar. He was worried that Rishar, with his sharp senses, might hear his chaotically beating heart.

“Since we promised, now… ack.”

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While trailing off his words and taking another step back, Etienne’s heel caught on a protruding stone.

“Hyung-nim!”

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As Etienne suddenly lost his balance and swayed significantly, Rishar quickly stretched out his hand. His well muscled, firm arm wrapped around Etienne’s slender waist like catching a prey.

“…!”

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Etienne felt his body, which was about to fall backward, being pulled forward, and he closed his eyes tightly.

“Are you alright?”

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“Ah.”

Before he could even comprehend the situation, a startled voice reached his ears.

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Only then did Etienne become aware of his situation. He realized he was now in Rishar’s arms. The moment he understood that what was touching his forehead was his chest, the scent of sea spray suddenly stimulated his nose.

“…Huff.”

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Etienne, who had sensed Rishar’s body scent, unconsciously pushed him away. Badump, badump, his heart was beating even more strongly than before.

He didn’t notice, right?

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With an anxious face, Etienne looked at Rishar. He was worried that Rishar might have sensed something, just as he had sensed his pheromones.

Rishar was looking down at his own hand with a strange expression. He slowly clenched the hand that had been holding Etienne’s waist, then spread it out and tilted his head.

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At that sight, Etienne’s heart sank. He hastily opened his mouth.

“Ri-Rishar?”

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At Etienne’s call, Rishar looked up. Etienne swallowed hard and examined his face. Since Rishar was backlit by moonlight, his expression wasn’t completely visible.

“Th-thank you.”

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Etienne tried to hide his agitation and moved his trembling lips. He wanted to act as if nothing happened, but his body was shaking, causing him to stammer.

“It’s nothing. The path isn’t clear, so be careful.”

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“Mn, I will.”

Etienne answered awkwardly. His tongue kept getting twisted. He gripped the sleeve of the cardigan tightly, feeling nauseous.

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It was just a very brief contact. Rishar couldn’t have sensed anything.

Etienne tried to calm himself somehow. But it was of no use. Anxiety kept bubbling up.

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“I-I’ll go back now.”

“Eh?”

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“I’m tired, so… uhm, good night.”

Eventually, Etienne chose to leave. He unilaterally said goodbye and turned around.

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Fortunately, Rishar didn’t stop Etienne. Instead, his gaze clung to him.

Etienne bit his lower lip while feeling the gaze on his back. Cold sweat flowed from his forehead to his cheek. He quickly ran away from the garden like someone being chased.

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* * *

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He couldn’t sleep a wink.

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Etienne buried himself in the sofa, feeling a stinging sensation in his eyes. He couldn’t remember what state of mind he was in last night.

“Have this.”

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Clank.

With a curt voice, something was placed on the table. Etienne lifted his heavy eyelids to confirm what Ben had brought.

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“What is that?”

“Yuja tea.”¹

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Ben answered with a stiff face. He was angry with Etienne.

How surprised he was when he came to check on Etienne in the early morning and found him shivering under the blanket.

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If Etienne hadn’t grabbed him, Ben would have immediately rushed to call the palace doctor. Etienne looked that bad.

“Haah.”

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Ben let out a deep sigh, recalling the small commotion from early morning. He wondered if Etienne would survive at this rate.

Etienne watched Ben sighing heavily and then grabbed the teacup with rising white steam. Carefully sipping the tea, a sweet and sour taste spread in his mouth.

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“Whew…”

Etienne blew air while drinking the yuja tea. Ben glared at Etienne with a pale face.

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Not a single thing was pleasing to him – the reddened bloodshot eyes, the dark circles under his eyes, the occasional coughing.

“From now on, absolutely do not go out alone.”

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Ben spoke with a strict face while looking at Etienne. Etienne silently brought the teacup to his mouth. How he avoided answering made Ben’s eyes harden.

“Your Highness.”

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“…I just went out for some air.”

Etienne mumbled. Ben twisted one side of his lips.

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“Oh, right. The person who went out just for some air couldn’t sleep all night and is now showing signs of a cold and groaning.”

“Stop being sarcastic.”

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Etienne frowned and put down the teacup. Another person might have realized their mistake and prostrated themselves immediately, but not Ben.

“At least tell me before you go out. I don’t want another morning like today.”

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“If I say I’m going out for a bit, you’ll insist on coming along.”

“That depends on Your Highness’s condition. Didn’t you keep throwing up yesterday?”

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“If the situation isn’t like yesterday, you’ll let me go around alone?”

“We’ll see about that.”

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Ben never said he would leave Etienne alone. Though Etienne looked dissatisfied and pouted, he had no choice.

To Ben, Etienne was like a child placed by the water’s edge. An existence he couldn’t help but continuously watch, anxious about.

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“By the way, whose cardigan is this?”

Sensing their conversation would become a pointless argument, Ben changed the subject. He had been wanting to ask about this.

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The cardigan neatly folded on the bed was obviously not Etienne’s. In response to Ben’s question, Etienne hesitated briefly before answering in a small voice.

“…It’s Rishar’s.”

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“What? The Grand Duke’s?”

“Yes. I ran into him while walking yesterday.”

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“Good grief…”

Ben’s mouth fell open in disbelief. He had thought it might be possible, but hearing it directly from Etienne made his head spin.

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“What happened between you and the Grand Duke last night?”

“…Nothing.”

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Etienne answered a beat slower to Ben’s question. Sensing something odd in his demeanor, Ben glared at him. Something definitely happened.

“Nothing? You can fool a monster, but not me.”

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Ben spoke with confidence. Thinking about the two meeting last night made him understand Etienne’s appearance from early morning.

As far as he knew, except for the Emperor and Empress, Rishar was the only one who could emotionally destabilize Etienne.

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“Please tell me.”

“Nothing happened.”

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Under Ben’s interrogation, Etienne subtly avoided his gaze. He didn’t mind telling Ben, but he was cautious about stirring up unnecessary trouble.

It’s okay, it’ll be okay.

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Etienne gripped the teacup tightly, recalling what had kept him anxious all night. He decided to think positively.

Due to various medications he had taken since childhood, his scent was even lighter than a normal dominant Omega. Moreover, through consistent training, he could almost perfectly control his pheromones.

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So it would be fine. Even though his physical condition was poor and his mental calm was momentarily disrupted, he couldn’t have been noticed to that extent. Not even Rishar could have noticed…

Etienne tried to rationalize and push away the creeping anxiety. He put strength at the corners of his lips and tried to appear as calm as possible.

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“We just talked briefly. The cardigan… he gave it to me because I was cold.”

“Really?”

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“Yes.”

Etienne closed his mouth as if he had nothing more to say. Ben narrowed his eyes with suspiciousness.

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But he couldn’t ask further. If Etienne didn’t want to talk, there was nothing he could do.

Ben swallowed his urge to ask more and sighed. His nagging just now was already beyond the bounds of a servant. He couldn’t be more impudent.

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“Then I’ll have it laundered and send it to the Grand Duke’s residence tomorrow.”

“No, just launder it.”

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“What?”

“I want to return it myself.”

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“What are you talking about…”

“I said I’ll return it myself because he suggested it.”

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What is all this about?

Ben’s face crumpled like a crushed paper. Until just a few days ago, Etienne had been avoiding Rishar because their political positions made them enemies. He couldn’t understand what sudden wind had blown to make him want to meet him directly.

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“Just launder it and bring it.”

“…Understood.”

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Ben answered with a bitter expression. Etienne, rubbing his tired eyes, didn’t see Ben’s uneasy look. He lay down on the sofa, using a cushion as a pillow.

“I’m tired. I’ll just rest my eyes for a bit.”

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“Don’t rest your eyes, just sleep properly.”

Ben said while drawing the curtains. The room darkened in an instant. Etienne closed his eyes without responding. Sleep still wouldn’t come.

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* * *

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Tap, tap.

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Long fingers were rhythmically tapping on the carriage window.

What’s he doing?

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Elvin, sitting across from him, looked at Rishar, who was lost in thought, taking his eyes off the documents.

“What are you thinking about?”

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“Hmm?”

“I was wondering if you’re worried about something. You couldn’t concentrate at today’s meeting either.”

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“Ah.”

Pulled out of his reverie by Elvin’s voice, Rishar let out a small chuckle. He withdrew his hand from the window sill and leaned back into the soft leather.

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“Dunno…”

Rishar trailed off, lowering his eyes. Having fallen back into thought, he slowly parted his lips.

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“Elvin.”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

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“Do Betas have a body scent?”

“…Pardon?”

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Elvin looked stunned, as if he had heard an absurd question.

“If you’re talking about odor, then as long as they’re human, whether Alpha, Omega, or Beta, everyone has one.”

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“Not body odor, body scent. I mean, is there someone born with a smell like Alphas or Omegas?”

“Ah, I see. Hmm, well… There are people whose bodies do have a natural scent, but a Beta with a scent that seems like pheromones… don’t exist. As far as I know.”

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“Is that so?”

“Yes. If you search the entire empire, there might be one such Beta, but the possibility is slim. If such a person existed, rumors would have spread long ago.”

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“I see.”

Rishar nodded as if he understood. Then he let out a small sigh and muttered.

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“…I must have been mistaken.”

 

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Mistaken?

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Elvin narrowed his brows upon hearing Rishar’s muttering. Although he didn’t precisely know what happened, from the question and response, it seemed like he had sensed an Alpha or Omega scent from a Beta.

“Perhaps that Beta might have used a perfume.”

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“Perfume?”

Rishar showed interest in the cautious words Elvin had spoken.

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“There’s a pheromone perfume that’s popular among Betas. Rumor has it that alchemists who studied Alpha and Omega scents created it. It’s incredibly expensive, but since it creates an effect of making one appear like an Alpha or Omega, it’s quite popular.”

“Such a thing exists?”

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“Yes. It started becoming trendy around 10 years ago, and now it’s widely used. In the capital alone, there are easily around twenty pheromone perfume stores. And each store carries different scents with diverse varieties.”

After finishing his explanation, Elvin concluded with his own thoughts.

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“Therefore, if you sensed an Alpha or Omega scent from a Beta, it’s highly likely to have been a pheromone perfume.”

“Perfume…”

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Rishar clicked his tongue, seemingly dissatisfied. Just as Elvin said, the body scent he sensed from Etienne yesterday was likely to have been perfume.

But why do I feel disappointed?

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Rishar clenched and then unclenched his fist in a bad mood. The sensation from last night when he caught Etienne who had tripped over a stone was still vivid, and so was the faint floral scent he felt in that brief moment of their bodies pressing together.

He shook his head vigorously while recalling the strangely stimulating scent. Nonsensical thoughts kept surfacing.

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It was probably just a flower fragrance mixed in the blowing wind, or as Elvin said, a sprayed pheromone perfume.

Rishar closed his eyes, thinking he had been mistaken. He needed to calm his inexplicably heated heart.

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III. Do You Want to Be Emperor?

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“It’s a cold.”

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Celodine said the diagnosis in a firm voice. Etienne slightly nodded as if he had expected this.

Three days after his night walk, Etienne had been experiencing a mild fever. Thinking he would recover with rest, he had casually ignored Ben’s recommendation to call the palace doctor. However, his fever had suddenly spiked severely early that morning.

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Ben, who had come to wake Etienne, was shocked seeing him burning with fever and brought the palace doctor.

“Please just lie down and rest for today. Since your fever is high, I’ll prescribe cold medicine along with a fever reducer. Ah, how’s your throat?”

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“It hurts.”

Etienne responded with a really hoarse voice. Celodine sighed and added another medicine.

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“Just hearing your voice tells me everything. The fever reducer does have some components for pain… but I’ll separately prescribe you one for the pain.”

Celodine meticulously issued the prescriptions while observing Etienne’s face. The Prince, accustomed to being sick, showed no change in expression despite suffering from a high fever.

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In fact, his face was reddened by the fever, giving him more color than usual. It was ironically fascinating.

“And…”

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Celodine trailed off with a complicated expression. Seeing Etienne’s listless state, a sigh welled up from deep within him. After composing himself, he continued.

“It would be good to reduce suppressants and the medicine for your hormones until you recover.”

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“Again? I’ve already reduced them.”

“You need to recover before it develops into pneumonia.”

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Celodine answered in a resolute voice. He wished he could completely stop him from taking any medications, but that wasn’t possible. Fortunately, the empress had recently permitted reducing Etienne’s medications.

“Is it that serious?”

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“As I’ve mentioned before, Your Highness’s body is extremely weakened. If you’re not going to completely stop taking suppressants, you must be extremely careful.”

“Hmm.”

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Etienne let out a low groan. He seemed reluctant to reduce the medication dosage more.

“If you didn’t want to reduce it you should have called me earlier. Why did you let yourself reach this state?”

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Celodine sharply rebuked Etienne, which was unusual for his typical demeanor.

“I thought I’d be okay after a few days of rest…”

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Etienne made an awkward expression in response to Celodine’s reproach and sipped ginger tea.

“This level of cold used to disappear after a good night’s sleep.”

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“Not anymore.”

Celodine stared at Etienne with a stern face. He hesitated, moving his lips as if about to speak, then carefully spoke.

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“This is just my personal opinion, but how would you feel about leaving the capital for a few months?”

“Hm?”

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“If you remain in the imperial palace, you’ll have to continue taking the medicines. I’m suggesting you could rest away from people’s eyes and have a break from medication. I think it would be a good idea for you to stay in a villa owned by the imperial family and spend a month or two recuperating…”

“At this time of the year?”

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“If you’re going to do something important, you need to be healthy. I’ll make a request to Her Majesty. If this continues, you might actually… become infertile.”

Celodine’s voice gradually lowered. Even while speaking as a doctor, he felt somehow embarrassed.

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“Isn’t that already the case?”

Etienne asked playfully. Celodine froze as if struck.

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“Well…”

Celodine couldn’t immediately answer and hesitated. Though he had mentioned the possibility of infertility, he was almost certain it had already happened.

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Celodine had nearly confirmed his suspicion. It was already well-known that the longer suppressants were taken, the higher the infertility risk.

And Etienne was the person he had seen taking suppressants the longest, and without any break periods.

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“There’s no need to be so awkward about it. I’ve somewhat expected this.”

Etienne smiled lightly, seemingly unbothered. He wasn’t significantly shocked by the infertility. In fact, he felt somewhat relieved.

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After all, he never wanted to have children.

“I’ll think about it.”

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Etienne concluded the conversation, looking at the uncomfortable Celodine. The suggestion was attractive, but the likelihood of the Empress permitting him a break was close to zero.

“Understood. Then…”

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As Celodine packed his bag and rose, suddenly there was commotion outside. What’s happening? Etienne’s gaze turned toward the door.

“Your Highness! His Majesty the Emperor has arrived!”

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“What?”

The unexpected visit was announced. Before Etienne could react, the door burst open.

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“…!”

Etienne stood up abruptly, seeing someone striding into his bedroom. It was indeed the Emperor.

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“Father?”

“Long time no see. Hmm?”

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Edwin, entering the room, stopped upon spotting Celodine. Celodine, finally coming to his senses, hurriedly bowed.

“I greet the Sun of the Empire.”

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“You are… the Prince’s personal doctor. Prince, are you unwell?”

Edwin, recognizing Celodine, barely acknowledged his greeting while asking Etienne.

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“It’s nothing serious.”

Etienne tried to maintain his composure while answering. He lowered his head so Edwin couldn’t see his face. When in his own palace, he didn’t do the eye drops, so he needed to hide his pupils.

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“I’ve just caught a light cold.”

“Is that so? Hmm, I was hoping to have a brief conversation…”

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Edwin trailed off at the mention of a cold. He had been troubled with an unresolved concern for days and had impulsively gone there, not even knowing Etienne was sick.

“Are you in much pain?”

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Edwin asked awkwardly. He thought it was almost the first time he had inquired about his well being in such a manner.

“No, I’m fine. Since the bedroom is a mess, I’ll ask for you to be guided to the reception room. Ben.”

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While keeping his head bowed, Etienne quickly called Ben. Fortunately, Ben skillfully guided Edwin to the reception room.

“This way, Your Majesty.”

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“Hm.”

Edwin nodded lightly and headed toward the reception room. He kept glancing sideways at Etienne, who continued to keep his head down. However, Etienne never looked up to meet his gaze.

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“…Phew.”

Once Edwin’s figure disappeared, Etienne let out the breath he had been holding. He collapsed onto the sofa as if falling.

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His heart was pounding like he had been running. 

“You worked hard today. I’ll send Ben with the medicine after His Majesty leaves.”

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“Ah, alright.”

Celodine packed his bag and left like a fugitive. Etienne watched Celodine’s departing back and pressed his throbbing temple. He was still so startled that his heart was racing.

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But he couldn’t avoid this. Etienne quickly grabbed the eye drops from the side table next to the sofa.

He didn’t know Edwin’s purpose for visiting, but he needed to have a conversation with him first.

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* * *

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Clink.

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A white teacup with rising steam and appetizing cookies were placed on the table.

“Please have some.”

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“Very well.”

At Etienne’s invitation, Edwin awkwardly picked up the teacup. He drank the tea while observing his son.

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Just like before, Etienne was unable to properly make eye contact with him.

Edwin looked down, gazing at Etienne, recalling the purpose of his visit.

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‘I am not Your Majesty’s son. Your son is the Crown Prince.’

Recalling the words Rishar had left behind a few days ago, Edwin bit his lower lip with a complicated expression. His chest felt heavy, like being covered with mud.

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“Prince.”

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“Yes, Father.”

When Edwin called out, Etienne slightly raised his head. The moment those cloudy light blue eyes met his, Edwin felt a tightness in his stomach. He’d heard the boy was ill, and indeed, his complexion wasn’t good.

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No, come to think of it, this child had never had a healthy complexion. Born naturally weak, he was prone to frequent minor illnesses. But that wasn’t the only reason.

Edwin knew that Leona was pushing Etienne too hard. The more he turned a blind eye to the two of them, the more she pressured her son.

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Even knowing this, Edwin didn’t stop Leona. Rather, he considered it none of his business.

So why was he considering it only now?

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“Father?”

When Edwin didn’t say anything, Etienne tilted his head questioningly. His golden hair shone and swayed with the movement. Seeing this, Edwin’s face suddenly crumpled.

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Golden hair, light blue eyes like water.

These colors were evidence that the child carried his blood. However, the eyes, nose, and mouth were unmistakably Leona’s.

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That’s why he avoided him. Too preoccupied with tending to his own wounds, he couldn’t give the boy any affection. Could he really say that behavior was right?

Edwin looked at Etienne with a troubled expression. Over his now grown son’s face, he saw the overlay of a younger child who had desperately sought his attention. In that moment, he felt as if someone was choking him, making it hard to breathe.

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“Uck…!”

“Father?!”

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When Edwin hunched over with a painful groan, Etienne jumped to his feet. However, he couldn’t bring himself to support or reach out to Edwin. He had never done such a thing before.

“It’s… alright. Just felt a bit dizzy…”

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Edwin raised his hand to reassure the anxious Etienne.

“Shall I call someone?”

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Etienne asked cautiously. Edwin’s face contorted again at the worried voice.

A child who couldn’t come close or reach out to him.

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That’s how vast the distance between them was—a distance that couldn’t be easily bridged. And the one who created that distance was Edwin himself.

Realizing this, he recalled all his foolish actions from the past. Along with those memories, regret welled up in his heart like a rising tide.

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As Rishar had said, if he had done the bare minimum as a father, would things have turned out differently?

Edwin looked at Etienne, feeling an inexplicable sense of devastation. He composed his expression and straightened his posture.

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“I’m sorry for startling you.”

“Don’t be.”

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“Now that I’m fine, please sit down.”

At Edwin’s words, Etienne hesitantly sat on the sofa. A heavy silence fell between them.

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“Etienne.”

After moving his lips for a while, unsure how to begin the conversation, Edwin awkwardly spoke his son’s name. It had been a very long time since he had called him like this.

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“…Eh? Ah, yes, Father.”

Etienne responded half a beat late to his father’s unusual way of addressing him. Looking at his flustered son, Edwin felt utterly ashamed.

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How pathetic that a father should feel awkward calling his son’s name.

“Hah…”

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Edwin let out a short sigh to calm his turbulent heart.

When he first came here, he had been determined to clearly convey his thoughts about succession, but now it had become difficult to speak.

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However, he couldn’t just leave without accomplishing anything. He had to fulfill the purpose of his visit. Edwin spoke with a heavy expression.

“As you probably suspect… I intend to pass the throne to Rishar.”

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“I’m aware.”

Etienne responded as calmly as a still lake before Edwin could finish speaking. He had somewhat guessed the Emperor’s purpose in visiting.

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If anything, it was Edwin who felt troubled by this. He was taken aback by Etienne’s unexpectedly composed reaction.

It would have been easier if he had gotten angry, saying it was nonsense, or if he had protested that he couldn’t accept it. But Etienne didn’t object at all.

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As if he had known this would happen for a very long time, as if he had never held any expectations or even the smallest desire for it.

“Since the time of the previous Emperor, no, since the Emperor before him, the imperial power has been gradually weakening. However, the nobles’ influence grows day by day. This is certainly not a good sign.”

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Caught off guard by Etienne’s unexpected reaction, Edwin rambled his thoughts incoherently. His mind had gone blank, making it difficult to articulate the words he had prepared.

“To strengthen the wavering imperial family… we need a strong leader. To stabilize the uncertain imperial authority, the next emperor must be someone who can suppress Alphas, Omegas, and Betas alike.”

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“…And you’re saying that’s Rishar?”

“That’s what I think. If Rishar, a dominant Alpha, becomes the next emperor, the imperial family can reclaim its former glory. Above all, the biggest reason I want to make that child the crown prince is… because I don’t want to bring another bloodbath to the imperial family.”

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Edwin felt an inexplicable anxiety as he watched Etienne quietly listening to his words. He hurriedly continued.

“You must know something about what the Empress and House Herace have done over the past few decades. When I ascended to the throne, there was also a bloodbath because of them.”

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Edwin’s expression darkened as he recalled the past. Shortly after he became Emperor, Duke Herace had carried out a purge of his half-siblings and their supporting nobles under the pretext of strengthening the imperial authority.

He also used this as an excuse to gradually destroy his family’s political opponents.

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To Edwin, it was clearly a massacre. Even though he knew many people were being unjustly killed, he couldn’t do anything at the time. His voice lowered as he remembered that feeling of helplessness.

“The bloodbath caused by the Empress and the Duke didn’t end there. It continued afterward…”

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Edwin stopped speaking without finishing his sentence. Although he had come to persuade Etienne to give up the throne, he wasn’t sure if he should share his suspicions, not knowing the prince’s true thoughts.

“…Do you think Mother was involved in the deaths of the indirect line of the imperial family?”

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Etienne slowly moved his lips while watching the hesitating Edwin. Edwin flinched at the unexpected question.

“…While there’s no direct evidence, circumstances point to it. There is some indirect evidence, but it’s insufficient.”

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After brief consideration, Edwin answered honestly. He judged there was no need to hide anything further. He also thought it would be easier to persuade him if he knew about his mother’s crimes.

In fact, Etienne was aware of the Empress’s evil deeds. As Edwin suspected, the Empress was behind the successive deaths of the indirect line of the imperial family.

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She had taken preemptive action against those who might potentially block Etienne’s path in the future. Rishar was the only one she had failed to eliminate.

“If you ascend to the throne, another bloodbath will occur. Many people, including Rishar and the Grand Duchess of Sachsen, would lose their lives.”

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Edwin spoke with certainty. Etienne quietly agreed with his thoughts. However, he had one question.

“How can you be certain that such tragedy won’t occur if Grand Duke Eckhart ascends to the throne?”

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“That’s…”

Edwin’s words caught in his throat for a moment. He carefully revealed his plan.

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“You don’t need to worry about your safety. I don’t think Rishar would harm you, but… even if he tries, I will help you. I will prevent anyone from harming you.”

Edwin met Etienne’s gaze with a serious expression. Though unsure if the child would trust him, he intended to protect Etienne no matter what.

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He would guarantee Etienne a peaceful future after everything was over.

That was his atonement and the minimum duty he could fulfill as Etienne’s father.

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“When Rishar becomes crown prince, I plan to grant you the title of Grand Duke and bestow the Flannel territory. I will also establish special laws to ensure that your family will continue like the Eckharts.”

“…”

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“I regret having to tell you this. However, it’s for everyone’s benefit. Though my decision may disappoint you… please understand.”

Etienne looked curiously at Edwin, who was asking for his understanding. It was somewhat refreshing to see him making a request. Apart from that, his insides felt like they were twisting.

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“I know I haven’t properly taken care of you all this time. And how difficult it must have been for you because of that.”

Growing anxious at Etienne’s lack of response, Edwin spoke again. It was words better left unsaid.

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You know how difficult it was for me? You? No, you don’t know anything at all. You don’t know anything.

Etienne bit down on his molars, suddenly overcome with emotion at Edwin’s words. Feeling a burning sensation in his stomach, he tightly clenched the fist resting on his thigh. He gripped so hard that blue veins were showing on his pale hand.

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“I also know that you’ve suffered greatly because of the Empress. It’s all my fault…”

“Wait.”

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Etienne cut off Edwin’s words. That was rude, but he couldn’t hold back anymore. Otherwise, he felt he might jump up from his seat and shout, ‘What do you even know?’

“Etienne?”

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Edwin wore a puzzled expression when Etienne interrupted him. Etienne gritted his teeth as he looked at him. His anger rose at seeing someone who didn’t even know what he had done wrong. Then suddenly, everything felt futile.

What have I been hoping for at this point?

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Etienne gave a bitter smile as he felt intense exhaustion. He thought he had abandoned all expectations of the Emperor, but apparently some still remained.

“Haah.”

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After letting out a short sigh, Etienne closed his eyes as if avoiding Edwin’s gaze. He barely managed to swallow the anger rising in his throat.

He hated himself for being hurt by the words and actions of someone who had never once been a father to him.

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“…You don’t need to explain anything to me. I understand your intentions well, Father.”

Etienne forced his lips to curl up into a smile after struggling to compose himself.

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“I also think Rishar becoming Emperor is the right choice.”

“Really…?”

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“Yes. I’ll tell you clearly right here. I have no desire for the throne.”

 

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Edwin’s face brightened at Etienne’s assurance. Things were going more smoothly than expected.

“However.”

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Etienne added, addressing Edwin whose expression had brightened.

“As Your Majesty knows, I don’t have the power to stop Mother. I cannot defy her. I hope you understand this point.”

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“I know. Do you think I’m not aware of the Empress’s temperament?”

Edwin smiled as if telling him not to worry. Etienne forced strength into the corners of his lips as he watched the Emperor smiling at him. If he didn’t, the expression he’d carefully made would crumble.

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“I don’t intend to burden you heavily. For today, just knowing your thoughts is enough. You only need to announce publicly that you have no desire for the throne after everything is settled.”

“I will do so.”

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Etienne agreed readily, but then asked as if something was suddenly bothering him.

“But… has Grand Duke Eckhart agreed to this?”

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“Hm?”

“He once told me he had no interest in the throne.”

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“Rishar said that to you too? Don’t worry about that. I’ll persuade him myself.”

Edwin waved his hand dismissively. For a moment, Etienne saw the Empress in his gesture. Both the Emperor and Empress were the same in forcing their will upon Rishar and himself.

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‘I have no interest in the throne. It belongs to hyung-nim.’

Perhaps because the Emperor’s image overlapped with the Empress’s, Rishar’s face suddenly came to mind. The way he had desperately clung to him that day.

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“…I’ll leave persuading the Grand Duke to you then, Father. And… I will help as much as I can to achieve what you desire.”

Edwin hesitated at Etienne’s words offering help. The smile disappeared from his excited face. He moved his lips as if unsure what to say, then awkwardly expressed his gratitude.

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“Th-thank you.”

“In return, I have one request. If you succeed in stopping Mother, please grant me one favor.”

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“A favor? What kind?”

“Please promise first. Promise that you will definitely grant my request.”

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Etienne straightened his posture and looked at Edwin. Edwin felt strange seeing his son not avoiding his eyes unlike usual. He had thought him merely weak, but it seemed he could make such expressions too.

“…Very well. Tell me. I’ll grant whatever it is.”

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What request could it be? Will he ask to spare the Empress? Or…

Edwin tried to guess what request Etienne might make. Since this was the first time something like this had happened, he couldn’t imagine what he might demand.

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“Later… when everything is safely concluded, just once, please take my side.”

After hesitating for a long while despite Edwin’s permission, Etienne carefully voiced his request.

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“Take your side? Are you asking for a pardon?”

“I wasn’t thinking of a pardon specifically, but a blank pardon with your seal would be good too.”

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Etienne smiled faintly at Edwin’s question. A blank pardon issued by the Emperor had the effect of pardoning even treason. Given the uncertainty of the future, it was good to have some kind of safety measure in place.

With a blank pardon, he could preserve his life even if it was discovered that he was an Omega later.

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“Whether it’s a pardon or a promise, the form doesn’t matter. As long as it’s kept.”

Etienne deliberately emphasized the last words. He pleaded in a more serious voice than usual.

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“Just once is enough. When everyone in the world points their fingers and condemns me, just once, please support me.”

“…You speak as if such a thing will happen.”

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“Won’t it be so when Mother falls from power?”

“Who would dare… As I said before, even if Rishar ascends to the throne, nothing will happen to you. I swear on my name.”

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Edwin promised Etienne with a serious face. However, Etienne didn’t believe him.

How could he trust someone who had never been a father to him, someone who had only been cruel from beginning to end?

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“Thank you. This will probably be my first and last request to you, Father.”

First and last request.

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Those words struck Edwin’s heart like an arrow. Edwin involuntarily shuddered.

“Then may we conclude our conversation? I’m not feeling well, so I think I need to rest. Do you have anything else to say?”

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Something’s wrong.

Edwin looked at Etienne as if seeing a stranger. Though his gently, squinted eyes and smoothly curved lips were the same as before, he somehow felt like a different person.

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“Father?”

Etienne called out with a puzzled expression when Edwin said nothing. But Edwin couldn’t answer.

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Were this child’s eyes… always like this?

Edwin frowned in confusion. Just moments ago, though startled by the sudden visit, the child had fully met his gaze.

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But not now. The blue eyes like the sky, tinged with dullness, had lost their vitality and were empty. Like a creature whose breath had ceased.

Hah.

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A sigh escaped Edwin’s lips. The moment he saw his reflection in those cloudy water eyes, he realized his mistake.

In the child’s eyes looking at him, there was no affection, no anger, no emotion at all. It was the gaze of looking at a complete stranger.

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When he realized this, his heart plummeted. Through this conversation, Etienne had completely closed his heart to him.

What have I done?

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Edwin opened his mouth, dumbfounded. When he realized he had thrown away his last chance to reconcile with his son, his mind went blank. But the water was already spilled.

 

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* * *

 

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Plop, plop.

The palace was shrouded in darkness from the rain that had been falling since dawn. Etienne watched the neatly folded cardigan on the table while listening to the raindrops hitting the window.

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“…”

Ben, standing by the door, carefully observed Etienne. Perhaps because the room was dark, Etienne’s expression wasn’t clearly visible. However, he could tell that his mood wasn’t good.

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Yesterday, after the Emperor’s visit, Etienne had remained in low spirits. He had tossed and turned all night without sleeping.

Damn Emperor.

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Ben clenched and unclenched his fist, swallowing the curses that threatened to go out. Thinking about yesterday still made his blood boil.

How could a father say such things? Ben couldn’t understand the Emperor at all.

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He must be hurt.

Ben looked pitifully at the drooping shoulders. He couldn’t even imagine how much more pain had been added to his already wounded heart.

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“…Ben.”

Finally, Etienne broke the silence. A voice as sunken as if drenched in rainwater flowed from between his slightly parted lips.

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“…! Yes, Yes, Your Highness.”

Ben quickly responded to Etienne’s call. Etienne rose from his seat with slow movements, taking his eyes off the cardigan.

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“Please prepare for going out.”

“Going out? Now?”

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Ben’s eyes widened at the unexpected words. After checking the rainy window outside, he asked in a worried voice.

“The weather’s not good… where are you going?”

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“The military headquarters.”

Etienne answered briefly while heading to the dressing room. Ben quickly followed behind him.

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“Why suddenly the military headquarters…”

“I’m going to see Rishar.”

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“What?”

Ben’s eyes grew even wider. Etienne revealed his purpose for going to the military headquarters while looking at the surprised Ben.

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“I need to return the cardigan.”

“Ah.”

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Ben’s gaze flicked towards the table. The cardigan was just an excuse, he probably wanted to talk about the Emperor’s visit. Ben easily guessed Etienne’s true intentions. However, he couldn’t act like he knew.

“But your health…”

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“I’m fine.”

Etienne dismissed Ben’s concern and gestured for him to bring clothes to change into. Though he lacked energy from not sleeping properly, his fever had gone down. A brief outing wouldn’t be too strenuous.

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“Right, prepare a pheromone perfume too.”

“Perfume?”

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Ben paused in the middle of attending to the clothes at the unexpected order. For him to voluntarily ask for perfume, it was like the sun rising in the west.

“There are many Alphas at the military headquarters. We should be careful just in case.”

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“Ah, yes, understood.”

Etienne gave a rough explanation to the puzzled Ben. The real reason was because of Rishar, but he couldn’t say that out loud.

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If he mentioned that Rishar might have caught his scent, it would cause an immediate uproar.

“Which scent would you like?”

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“Evening primrose.”

Etienne chose a perfume close to his own pheromone scent while suppressing the anxiety that was quietly rising. If by any chance Rishar had really caught his scent, he planned to insist it was the perfume.

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“I’ll spray it.”

Ben sprayed the perfume behind Etienne’s ears and on his wrists. After smelling the scent from his wrist, he extended his other hand toward Ben.

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“Spray more.”

“More than this?”

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“Yes. On my neck too.”

It’s going to be really strong.

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Ben had an uneasy expression because of Etienne’s request, but sprayed the perfume on his wrists and neck. The flower scent filled the dressing room.

“Pack the medicines too. I’ll take them in the carriage.”

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“Yes.”

Ben, wrinkling his nose at the tickling scent, moved quickly. There was much to prepare for just one outing.

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* * *

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“Please step down carefully.”

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Ben, who got out of the carriage first, hurriedly opened an umbrella. The guard standing at the main entrance recognized Etienne and hastily saluted him.

“Let’s go in.”

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Etienne passed by, barely acknowledging the guard’s salute. Splash, it echoed with each step.

“The road is really…”

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Ben frowned at the puddles formed here and there on the road. He thought he should complain to the building manager while tilting the umbrella as much as possible toward Etienne.

Despite Ben’s efforts, Etienne’s shoulders and hem of his pants got wet. The rain was too heavy for the umbrella to be of much use.

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“Where’s the office? Which floor?”

Etienne shook his head lightly as they entered the lobby. Since they hadn’t announced their visit, no one had come to greet them. Ben, who was hurriedly pulling out a handkerchief, quickly answered his question.

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“First floor.”