HKWM | Chapter 44

“Not at all. Why would I dislike you?”

“If it’s because of that reason, I’ll explain everything when we face the Archangel. I’ll tell them that Jin is my benefactor, and not someone who would harm me. If only I could show them my memories…”

“They will think I’ve brainwashed you to corrupt your soul. Demons corrupt humans in unimaginable ways. And they wouldn’t even give you a chance to show your memories.”

Noah seemed genuinely unconcerned by the possibility I had just mentioned, not believing it could apply to him. That settled the turmoil in my mind that had been wondering until now whether leaving Noah’s side was the right decision.

Humans shouldn’t trust demons. Noah had broken that truth. Considering the quality of Noah’s soul and the possibility of other demons approaching him, it was right for us to part ways so that Noah wouldn’t trust demons anymore.

“…Then just take me to the Demon Realm with you.”

That was something Lust had whispered to me when he came to give a gift. It seemed Noah had overheard. I jumped, startled.

“Are you crazy?! Do you even know what that place is like…!”

“I want to be with Jin.”

“I’m a demon and you’re a human. Being close to a demon, you’ll end up experiencing horrors far worse than anything you’ve faced so far.”

“What if I’m okay with that?”

“Do you really want to live hidden and alone? Don’t do this. It’s time for you to go back to where you belong.”

“Where is that supposed to be?”

Noah’s voice rose, frustrated by my attempt to soothe him.

“I thought my place was by Jin’s side. If I can’t be with Jin, then where am I supposed to be?”

“With humans.” I added more words, trying to ignore the bitter ache inside.

“Even if not right now, eventually I would become harmful to you. It’s just that this time has come sooner than expected, but we were bound to part ways someday.”

“Demons never forget their belongings. There are so many of Jin’s things here; how can you leave them all behind?”

“…I’m doing this for you.”

I could have been harsher to make it easier to detach, but I didn’t want to. It wasn’t so much about sparing him pain; it was more about not wanting to be a bad memory for Noah.

“…Then how can I become yours? If I’m completely corrupted, will my soul belong to you?”

“Noah!”

“Don’t leave. You said you’d teach me how to live ordinarily. I still don’t know anything.”

I stood up and approached Noah, who looked visibly shaken. I had items prepared for him in the subspace, but it all seemed pointless now.

As I reached out to comfort him, placing a hand on his shoulder, Noah twisted away, avoiding my touch. It was the first time Noah had shunned me, but oddly, he looked more hurt than I felt.

It’s okay. Him shunning me is nothing compared to me leaving him. That’s what I wanted to say.

“Noah, you can do well. You’ve grown up well even under the care of demons for just over a year.”

A single tear, the first I’d ever seen, fell from Noah’s eyes. Surprised by the tear, I reached out to wipe it away but then pulled back. Every action of mine felt hypocritical.

“Jin won’t stay by my side no matter what I say, right?”

“…Yes.”

“Then, until I fall asleep… please stay with me.”

“Okay.”

I returned to my seat. As Noah slowly finished his meal, silence lingered between us.

After the meal, I magically disposed of all the dishes. I had used magic to warm the cold food, which might have tainted it with my energy. Noah watched this and then took my hand, leading me to the bedroom.

As Noah lay down on the bed, I smoothly closed the windows, locked them, and arranged the blankets over him. I pulled up a chair next to the bed as he watched me intently.

“Hold my hand.”

I grasped his extended hand, looking down at it. It was notably larger than when we first met—a hand no different from mine now. A year had felt so short, yet it was enough for many things to change.

“…If we part today, can we never meet again?”

As Noah fiddled with his fingers, I hesitated before answering.

“If it’s okay with you, I’ll come to see you next time.”

Of course, it would be difficult immediately.

The immortal timescale of an undying and human time are different, and it’s uncertain how much time would have passed once Patiencia returns to the celestial realms, but it would take a while for me to recover enough to manage any situation that might arise.

“Once the core is stabilized, it’ll be easier to watch over the Archangel, so let’s meet again then.”

“……”

“Partings are always hard, but over time, you’ll be able to talk about them with a smile.”

That wasn’t just consolation—it was the truth. Even a parting that feels like death eventually becomes bearable. Just as ‘Lee Hyunjin,’ who had lost many fleeting connections, somehow managed to survive.

Of course, partings inevitably cause wounds, and whether they heal cleanly or leave scars is yet to be seen, but even if they leave scars, it would be alright. Eventually, they won’t hurt enough to bleed, and you could lightly say, “It hurt quite a bit when it happened.” That’s what time does.

“…Jin, do you think I can manage well without you?”

“Of course. You’re smart and quick to learn anything.”

Noah didn’t say anything.

His request to stay by his side until he fell asleep could have been a way to stall for time, or perhaps a last-ditch effort to persuade me. Likely it was both, but prolonging the inevitable would benefit neither of us.

“Noah, everything will be okay. Don’t worry. You’re capable of finding connections more valuable and better than any demon. So, keep your chin up and live well.”

Realizing what I was about to do, Noah started to say something urgently, but I didn’t wait any longer and cast a sleep spell. He scrunched his face, trying to resist, but slowly blinked and eventually drifted off.

The faces of the siblings I left behind at the orphanage have blurred over time, but becoming a demon improved my memory, and I would remember Noah’s face vividly for a very long time, as if I had seen it just yesterday.

I gently smoothed the furrows on Noah’s brow, took out the items I had kept in subspace, and placed a pouch full of the empire’s common currency on the nightstand. It wasn’t enough for a lifetime, but it would be sufficient until he became an adult.

The rest were a few spellbooks and a ring artifact enchanted with subspace magic. Noah had struggled with defensive and supportive magic while he could easily learn offensive spells without a proper mentor. He had wanted to learn subspace magic first, but hadn’t managed yet, so I brought the artifact instead.

“…You said you’d show me your spatial magic once you learned it.”

Parting made every little thing feel significant.

I finally let go of Noah’s hand, tucked him in, and placed the prepared items on the nightstand. Only after confirming there was nothing more I could do for him did I step through space back to the Demon Realm.

As is typical with magic, a blink was all it took to change the scenery.

Maybe I had grown too accustomed to the small, cozy house touched by Noah and me everywhere. Although filled with priceless items I could never have owned if not reborn as an Archdemon, the castle still felt utterly devoid of warmth, reminding me it was all I had.

Idly wandering the castle, Noah’s face before I cast the sleep spell kept haunting me. His longing look, wanting to keep me by his side.

Why wouldn’t I be affected? I had grown quite fond of him over more than a year, seeing him as one of the siblings I had abandoned at the orphanage and whimsically atoning for it, but I had come to care for Noah in his own right quite quickly. He was such a kind and lovely child.

Pretending to be unaffected was hard. Having a human’s memories and emotions while living as a demon wasn’t easy. I had always been alone, and even after dying and being reborn as a demon, I was alone.

The thought of living an eternal life without being able to die was so dreadful that I often spent time asleep to escape it.

Noah’s presence had been a joy in my solitude. There was no need to hold back tears wandering the empty castle, nor to open all the windows just to hear the terrible snapping of plants or the occasional howl of magical beasts outside because of the terrible silence.

Being alone again made me realize how much I had longed for human warmth.

Today, the silence of the castle felt suffocating, so I flopped down on the bed. I buried my face in the pillow, far softer than anything in Noah’s house, and despite the natural act of breathing being blocked, it wasn’t suffocating to the point of death.

And of course, I wouldn’t die from this. Even if my breath was blocked, the core would remain intact.

“…Right, a demon wouldn’t die just from a little suffocation.”

I buried my face in the pillow, closed my eyes, and cast a sleep spell on myself.

All I wanted right now was to sleep.