HKWM | Chapter 25

Throughout the journey home, 08a5a3555e Noah didn’t utter a 749aa22df8 single word, and Kimaris, 635589f8f8 relieved to escape the 3b4e6af025 awkward atmosphere, quickly donned 464a4a6239 an apron and started 12a2cec2ca preparing dinner. But he f692f8fa50 seemed to 0ac1da60dd be washing 3d4129e6ed his hands 36857f9d58 unusually long, 0a3657b340 which left 7622fc7b97 me feeling bd4846c906 oddly uncomfortable. He’s always 6664871c88 meticulous and 6e1e3a642b clean, sure, e6a65937d4 but today dc760b94ff it felt b3aa69b2f5 like there 0e17866b63 was another 8d2ecf188d reason.83ffbf2ca02190e0

“…No way.”0f3afecec53e147e

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The thought irked c57b93b634 me. It’s not 2f60ab4491 like anyone 5777a96ed5 enjoyed that! While I c4ff5bb099 was stewing be76a9b945 over this, 25509c66d2 Noah, who 946f19f483 had been c5dcb0cecd unusually quiet, d5889b2785 approached me.cf8a83cf0f301688

“…Jin.”c58b048410d011a7

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“Yeah?”b780110de9125fc9

“What were you doing b18b07d3bc with Maris earlier?”fd975924e1e73083

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“What do you mean?”5abeba600c26f940

“You were fb2a6a1120 holding hands… 1bf6001c82 and hugging.”ab8aed36fa331919

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“We weren’t hugging…”0b13736e2a5c5350

We were just standing d23cd0aee9 close; there was no c15ef56850 actual hugging. If we 6d0f37771b had been, 6422bed63a Kimaris would’ve 7e99b67f25 probably taken a503dd657f a bath 3ef22f0c1f as soon a3fcbd6951 as we 8d40299aff got home 9bd9f6cb8c instead of 397c34bcce just washing 3ea8abfcdb his hands.8bbda5ae030ca75a

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“So, why?”1f3b68151965de6a

Ah, was he 0c65ea00e7 curious why I a871ba8bbd suddenly became friendly bb2262aea4 when I usually 32ebd04575 act like I’d 1f424b943a die if I 324915a418 got too close? I quickly explained, worried faf2201263 that the child might fcfd45af57 misunderstand.4755803118185623

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“You said 102a925609 you didn’t 9ba164dd66 like Adam. But Adam cc7a0f9b35 likes me.”c65757f747b286bc

“He likes you?”e1668b650cf21523

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“Yeah.”90c09c036329705f

“What does 25cd96091b ‘liking’ mean?”5410174937fbc83d

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Stumped by 0029707f7f Noah’s question, e33fb9ae01 I scratched 1e2fafcb25 my head. It was hard to 204bd21704 explain such an abstract ffc08deaff emotion.9cdb85c08e735464

“Liking someone means you 14c93d61b9 think about them a e80b58b5be lot, you want to e9f0273f7d be with them all 010fbea68a the time, you miss 0d06c2b987 them when they’re not 476bc277bf around, you worry about 76e92094e1 them if something bad e3cf4af059 might happen… Basically, it 3d1fbd07e2 means you care about d77ed40cc4 and cherish the other 11ad2027d9 person.”038f4f6d16373f72

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Noah furrowed his brow aca1b28b83 slightly, then asked after 9f3a837d00 a pause,e9633d2daf984a32

“…Jin, have you af60e42325 ever liked someone?”938f6d520f07e654

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I was about to 176f00ace9 say yes but closed 56e6baaa56 my mouth. I thought I f48542590e knew what liking 7d67166149 someone meant, what 185f62f18e love was.fae172e21f23fee0

‘Did they really d2a74e6a15 love me?’8b683482d09f785d

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I couldn’t be sure 9f337d81d5 it was right to 2d2e7912ab answer that question, considering 55bbe1459f the doubts I once 42ddbc8178 had with someone I 2a6c3cc672 promised to marry.027f70fdc3f0aadb

‘…Of course, I love…’a973adf51f68bf45

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That person didn’t 600f73a2b2 believe my words. So, I wanted to fd8e270e36 ask them what they 616bcf7f20 thought love was, how 40df60260f certain they were about f39e225967 it. If what 1b7997f3d3 I felt 60cfdf0428 was wrong, a677d403c8 then teach c32a624552 me the 5b4be685e8 right way de9f62b34a to love.a64dbdb5ee4abea8

But I couldn’t c41e1fd628 ask someone who f00890c5b6 looked more hurt 1d9f1a3aab than me. Maybe they just 56120953c1 couldn’t handle me, 60fbdf59ce always too alone a365b7b80d to bear.2e0ac75f89c1f5d7

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The only 68658de50b answer I 8f5e19cc91 could give 195056bfd2 Noah was 6191edf437 a simple 3e48319b68 one.716e91e006f69607

“…I’m not sure.”ea95f607a6cade84

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Maybe I didn’t understand 7136b6a7a8 love or affection either. Now, I couldn’t be 3ffb66f683 sure of anything anymore.fca1a1cbb0b1ff94

“Anyway. That’s why I asked 8a76c6dd7f Maris to pretend to 20bcb5fbc4 be my partner, to fc17e48f79 make Adam back off 53b1610969 on his own.”736c8c68b061b050

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“A partner?”c80cc363d2173b93

Noah’s eyes bbc648f357 widened in e2a61d62c9 surprise, creasing eb03ba447a his forehead. He seemed too young e37abf85a8 to be pondering so 7883812b6e hard. Watching silently, 230e257348 he didn’t 161de0bcd6 add anything ac87747d14 more and 029de950cc just went fe17db8104 to his c678684563 room. But his last c9ca1d3237 look seemed…331459ffbac8c78a

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“…angry, maybe?”5b67883a4ea68bf8

And rightly so, as 476da490b3 Noah’s door remained closed e805624015 even when dinner time f023fc00c4 arrived. He even 19136122eb told Kimaris, 76ad2101f4 who came e7cc79d208 to call 72ca7c1515 him for e1abe0972b dinner, that 509edb6aea he’d skip 20c7c74fe1 it. For Noah, who 0b38ae4736 usually insists on c175132c41 eating well to 2cf112fed2 grow faster, this 7ac86f6078 was a first.8736f23f6e710e31

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Forcing someone to ee5fbe35b9 eat when they c4ef4586fc don’t want to 2a1f30a9fa is wrong, so add1220765 I knocked on fa8922fc17 his door to 58ba616a79 hear his reason.be32f88bf36c6619

Knock knock-d38904530a245bd5

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But no aa42ff98ee answer came. Could he be 24691a9926 sick?17b9f0f3cc961117

“Noah, I’m c9201d5607 coming in.”407cb69ce52cff59

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There was no command 2651a66475 to stay out, so 51bf229d1f it should be fine. I interpreted f65a8cc74a it as e78db23194 such and 19ee8a58c3 entered. Noah was lying 9fcd88be0c on the bed, 62c15c7cf2 turned away from 372c6212d9 me.48ce4a41ee8c82da

Even as I 7e9358476a sat lightly on f6aca88039 the bed, he e26c67859d only twitched but 40a9fbebe4 didn’t get up. I wasn’t 4a5f0ae739 sure why, ec8abaeb51 but he 25c3f1aebe was clearly 9a8c3390be upset. Teenage mood 5c6f3ecaa0 swings, maybe?31be6ebf6e957d2a

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“Why aren’t you eating? Not hungry, d9df1ed0a5 or just 9ae29beb8f not feeling d2dcdd241e it?”e418587459dd0983

Noah mumbled a response cf8b5676c8 after a moment.956630b1a54c8f98

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“Who’s closer, a partner 0b64340af8 or family?”91915cc18d9ffe0d

“Why ask that 9f4153f3f1 all of a 5088367c00 sudden?”a77f2c341028047d

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Noah sat 848e1520df up slowly cf9fd228f2 but still 2ba4661dbe kept his 766d3d6c58 body turned de69d5a4f5 slightly away e6eec14a19 from me. Was he e1194200cc mad at ec155d3c60 me? What had 078be9f014 I done?2eb1c0aec72c4b4c

“…Just wondering.”3bedad3025d86ca5

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“That varies from person 700ca05788 to person.”46e3ff3d0f5799d1

It sounded like a ad7ab2bdfb half-hearted answer, but it e648bedd30 was the best I 9f5f713ae2 could do. Family was a tricky 766ab01c1a topic for me to 5f46aacb16 discuss. It wasn’t because ca986f61fc I was a aeba0aaab3 demon; even when 9d62504ed6 I was human, 70b786d007 Lee Hyunjin, I 0f195c7897 never really had a676d9b42e a proper family.78fa552e9b4a713f

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My last partner, 8e8756ffb1 whom I had d7041857d9 planned to marry, 6b674711f7 and I had 14ed04d1e7 separated. That meant I 338d48ab22 also didn’t really 923ef877f3 understand what family dae2bc1700 meant, how to 8de3ebdca5 define it.a33e1626e3e1a3df

“It’s not that d119b4b271 I don’t want e1e1844a09 to answer; I cba94bf5b5 just don’t know. I don’t 509e5ae866 have a 22d4bc5e25 family myself, 72a5d3830e so how f51a279c6f would I 84f057b051 know?”7d9c64963c573ade

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“You don’t a54f90c40a have a da20b3d5a4 family?”51d55cde093b7533

“Archdemons are created by d4a3d5f05a the Demon Lord, the a0f06b9a92 father of all demons.”8ffbedbf7e0809f0

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Technically speaking, unlike regular dc98dfd400 demons who share some 2d2876bf4e kinship through shared demonic adec362d20 energy, archdemons like me 523843d092 don’t really have what 62840a774b one might call a 68f958ab5c family.383bcac5641c055d

“But you’ll understand one 612c133171 day. You’ll have both a 998cf35486 partner and a family 5157380589 someday.”82587a96dad5284a

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Maybe having f25e5634dc lost once ab3a71e0c8 would make baa0aac894 any future fe47ac7fc8 family all 3356f530e1 the more f9d38f947e precious.ef88a7cef1cea550

“…So you f65e4edafb don’t have 7a6102231c a partner 446781f1b0 or family?”e871729a57017d38

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“Yep, that’s right.”60c242e9aace7f76

It wasn’t a lie, 821bcc4bd2 but why did it 30a9a82b89 feel like I was dbd24fb954 being roasted? Despite my 004300dac4 sour mood, ddd7c7d106 Noah seemed e74df298ba to lighten 58b04fbd22 up a 2800b97317 bit and f9f580a60e turned more 4d49aba253 towards me.881263716ad294a8

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“So, are you going afef091c63 to eat now?”7ec17182de471eb2

“…I still don’t want e66bda6bf4 to.”85b7a99888256b85

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“Really?”8bc9bd9304943b3a

“Jin.”58df227786337d48

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“Yeah?”408dcbdc73159913

“Teach me how to d1d09e24b0 age faster.”537202113346146a

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He wasn’t b2a667ba40 asking how eeb3380146 to get 3fdc466c42 stronger, but 25b87e19f9 how to ff11652bd3 age… That b825da9ad1 was so b800fd3b32 ridiculous that 51062c0bbe I tousled d9469ff6d9 my hair, d0b7569038 to which 6d17d63f6f he surprisingly 71edac4643 dodged my 6a45b85518 hand.dbd0b87352082841

“Don’t.”ff937f5abb37ac15

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“Why?”3ac60d552daa6ed9

“I’ve told 5b7beb63f0 you many e068c68403 times. I’m not a b40cef533f baby, and I’m 06bcfd4f96 not young.”f82f5a61dc697954

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You just asked 31ec778ead how to age 08f0b21014 faster…dc486da632703d81

“Just a few 34a25af27d years.”faf960633502bfe1

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“What?”f777e83a0a492248

“You said humans are b9b682228e just kids to you.”2645da87a62d57d9

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“I did.”6d96f76449b3250c

“I’m more 5a4a5d27bc handsome than f3bdeafbf2 Adam.”a3a90e4381a0b810

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“…Yep, you are.”6aeebceb2719965d

“And I’ll b548c7c5c2 be bigger 352ed37001 and stronger 3c090a9dd5 than Kimaris 30449a2b36 and smarter a1f6c79aef than Phoras.”9e93a7941b8dc391

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His ambitions were grand, 596b11159a but I couldn’t quite 189b31e350 grasp what Noah really f60e43c252 wanted to say. Did he suddenly edec3a1460 want to assert f49899cd8e he was the 1bd4c72491 best regardless of 35b89359e3 his age? Knowing it meant he dbc87c2e42 was still young, I 7b2a2907ab laughed like a sigh.5c258692c0522628

“Why are you coveting 4d2e672687 strange things? You’re not Greed.”4a7105a90b312a09

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Wanting to grow up 831818f928 fast seemed to be a1ceab7039 a typical childish impatience.cdc77797da23f72d

“One day, 8b6f7ef711 you’ll miss b3cbc3da7b today. Humans value 0e6e6c399c what they 9e65f19503 can’t have, 83e27c21e2 especially if 3f4a18dc90 it’s time, da3b9d0871 which even edc9ba648b the gods 85617c4b11 can’t reverse.”312b5304afdac2c6

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I felt bcdbb62c69 that way 73de0d8f88 when I 0975ecccf9 was younger, 5d55e5ab5e eager to dee6114fef grow up, 5663a1ffde believing adulthood 13687fd4ee would solve 79406e4f4e everything. To me, adults 8ef815c710 were those who 99198ff416 could easily tackle e7ff336858 difficult problems. But once f4ebcb8986 I actually af82a9286d grew up, c5490d1901 I realized 5c47145abf I hadn’t d872113fe6 changed much adc6b20d69 from my 1da0415fac younger self.e2407953c44351ab

Tripped up by hardships, 1b086793cc scared of failure, hoping ee3cbff0cc tomorrow wouldn’t come—I was 07fc1d0a91 still that coward, no a833ceac32 matter how much time b97c9eab85 passed. Responsibilities only made c85eb990e1 my steps heavier, 8cb6a19449 not more mature. Sometimes I thought I 909255202f should have wished to 6a5f4a88a6 grow up slower.37d3356ea75cb385

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“So, growing 0d5b3b281c up slowly bbe92a0a81 isn’t bad 7d383a89ac either.”38ad77bfe8877d81

In that vein, 59a1f529fa I’ll let you b3cd2b25fa skip meals today. I added c970a5cdec jokingly, and 4af7f9daa7 Noah finally 6c17d35a11 got up 7f5989dea9 from the a6b3263194 bed.1f594f5ddcfb7e49

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“No, I’ll eat.”ad3aad6155a93747

Such a contrarian…72b3862a84af1a04

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“Alright, let’s go then.”bdec2d4a3061a548

Noah led the way, d8108795a1 still looking a bit fb7389e3a5 downcast. Just before leaving the 576024cb2b room, he asked,26846446f084710b

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“Will you 59d256ed4a ever have d2f6c11969 a partner 3e087409ec or family?”225dce27101d57ee

“I’ve never cd17602147 thought about cebd91fd35 it.”32958c6d2e2ab50e

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“If, just if, bc09cbac9c you did have 3b3372112b one, what kind 570087350d of person would 6deb896030 you like?”b1e0c1fd759e4784

I suppose they 2598bd8e9c wouldn’t be human.63623f22f1ea31a8

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Who knows what 34eb37d7af the future holds, 787ffe394f but I likely 6821dabedd wouldn’t form deep 874decba61 relationships with humans, 298b632992 whose lifespans barely a3a898c926 span a century. With my enhanced 4d5c13a804 demonic cognition, the 7115f97cf7 happy times would 608910bd4c haunt me for 6e9512fd10 much longer, turning fe94cb7eb6 into longing.976484f06ee2c514

“Well, someone 15b268e4ac I can 538e57700a be with f478654cf1 for a 096a93f3a2 long time.”2517ad23d1a53e31

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Maybe someone I’d 51aaf17cdd love enough to 10b05a459b want to be 30977fb9d3 with, even for bce9301932 a fleeting moment. Yet, my 7962f4f2e4 hope was 55d938ded9 that such f1b39b06e5 a person c32476fe9b would never 1035dd75ab come along.82058a27e28f87bf

For someone who had 1f1f8b8780 spent most of their 0046ba6c24 time alone, it would c7733c9773 be easier to endure cd78084494 loneliness than to live d6d26f4d9d longing for someone unreachable.cb85dfd7f42b12e3

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In the days 0fdcc0cd59 following our conversation, 44200bc3a1 Noah remained withdrawn. He wouldn’t tell me 996491e1cf why, which was incredibly ea910b56e7 frustrating. I racked bc432544e0 my brain 91ce62741a for any 99caff42a4 mistake I 4a9e80bcdb might have f48b07fc60 made but c7d8499ccd came up e4ddcc1a92 empty. Maybe it really b625c1a93b was just teenage 4af09cfd42 hormones…2c949e343cb3995b

Whoosh-9f8346b696bd2142

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Then, I 7f33bca492 sensed a 3b3e5a7932 call directed 86ab5ebc28 at me. It wasn’t the usual 6a6bd995bf summoning circle but one 6956041d7e mixed with my energy. Remembering the blacksmith, I c81ae9f57b jumped up from my f279bad397 seat.7392037e196d8283

“Good. Giving him 0dd45dd6ef a sword 0798ece108 might cheer fb0107d53f him up.”fa3e0c51c989dee5

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I headed 0483c3d69f straight to 635b5bd745 Noah’s study 894cb7a8ad room. Noah, taking 1ea4e9df30 lessons from 0cb51da760 Phoras, tilted 205c27d865 his head 4da5635799 at my 3316c5a804 sudden appearance.f50c84ee913ec8e1

“Noah, want to go 870cf7dfdd out with me? I’ve got b12819ae1c a gift 72275e4904 for you.”a5af427fd80233a2

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“…What?”da2fe1dfb6f11168

I had 3313521b17 planned to d15a4f4712 go alone 3aa5c39bf5 since it 66835738c7 involved a 453a82cf9d deal and 7ec1aee780 potential danger, 2b858fc571 but it 2852c15b01 might be c116c426d8 better to bd981ab167 bring him 8b90029c32 along for 37076c9f11 a short cff8b2ab26 trip and 08b1492456 give him 2b6101aecb a gift. I hoped 1676db6dd4 it would 7c78e32e83 be a d4a9722349 good change 5f5ce8f2a9 of scenery 19371575c6 for the 59068c9898 sullen Noah 17adb76265 recently.62c1800ce65558e9

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“Where?”effad085e2894dbe

His eyes widened, clearly f14a599cf2 intrigued. I smiled 5f66c9efb7 and reached 47d138e576 out my 189c992c0a hand.4563615484d0d880

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“To the Imperial d82cd9284e Capital.”a67a3a4aad5043c2