HH Chapter 34

Lena occasionally held normal books, but most of the time, he read erotic novels without titles on their spines.

He did so without changing his expression, which made me feel inexplicably embarrassed.

“Is it fun?”

“Not really. I read it because it’s funny.”

…What’s so funny and interesting about it? 

I remembered seeing illustrations in the books he read. There were drawings of people having sex in outlandish positions. Is he talking about that…?

“It’s funny and pathetic how a seemingly normal person becomes a lovesick fool the moment they meet a certain someone. What is ‘love at first sight’ anyway? It’s completely unrealistic and fake.”

“Well… it’s a novel.”

“Even novels are based on reality to some extent. But the premise itself is ridiculous.”

He said, flipping the page loudly.

“I don’t understand how a normal person can suddenly turn into a lovesick idiot, clinging to each other day and night like animals in heat.”

“If you don’t understand it, why are you reading it?”

“…….”

Lena slammed <Julian’s Voyeuristic Diary> shut and looked at me with even more disdain.

“I’m reading it because I don’t understand it. Would you read something you already know two or three times?”

Sure, whatever…. I gave up on trying to understand him.

Anyone listening would think he was reading a research paper on room-temperature superconductivity or the possibility of extraterrestrial life. Yet all he was doing was reading some porn that didn’t even have its title marked on the spine to avoid censorship, and I couldn’t help but think he was just sugarcoating it so pretentiously.

“I guess that’s what happens when you fall in love.”

Lena still seemed unconvinced by my words.

“Something that changes a person so drastically in an instant is a disease.”

“It is a bit ridiculous.”

I told him that I agreed with him to some extent.

It would be better to just read novels as pure fiction, but sometimes, the way characters acted like there was no one else in the world besides each other felt unrealistic, even to me.

“Have you heard of <Naenamo¹>?” 

“Are you talking about <My Boyfriend is an Ogre>?”

He knew it right away. As expected, I knew he’d understand even if I just used the abbreviated title.

<My Boyfriend is an Ogre> was a novel published over 100 years ago, but it was still so popular that it had sequels, and even sequels to the sequels.

And the popular adult product Mei and I were selling, the ‘Ogre Series,’ was also named as such to capitalize on the novel’s popularity.

I remember sneaking into Mei’s shop and secretly reading the book because I was curious why there was even a dildo named after a monster.

The story went like this: The female protagonist gets lost in the forest, is saved by an ogre, and then develops feelings for him while enjoying secret rendezvous away from the eyes of others.

But despite being called an ogre, the male protagonist depicted in the novel was closer to a human who just happened to be named ogre. It seemed like the non-human setting was added to spice things up.

Having worked as a mercenary and participated in several subjugations, I knew what real ogres were like, but ordinary people wouldn’t know, so I figured that’s why they were so enthusiastic about it.

“The female protagonist keeps seeing the ogre despite the opposition from those around her.”

“Pathetic.”

“The novel had a happy ending because it’s fiction, but I wondered if it was worth seeing a monster, defying the whole world, just for love.”

It’s true that ogres are relatively intelligent monsters and can speak human language.

However, it was just artistic license. In reality, communication with them was impossible. Ogres simply mimicked sounds like parrots because their oral structure was similar to humans.

Above all, since they’re highly aggressive and even cannibalistic, they were also the top priority for subjugation…. Sure enough, a novel is just a novel.

“And even if he’s a monster, the… description of his penis size is just too much.”

At my words, Lena asked back,

“Size description?”

“It’s unrealistic.”

I thought of Ogre No. 2, which Mei had personally created in terms of its shape and size. It was a shape and size that made me laugh out loud instinctively.

“How can it be as big as a person’s forearm without even being erect? It’s not even a horse’s dick, how could….”

“…….”

I chuckled, putting my hand on my elbow, but Lena, as befitting a ghost lacking empathy, didn’t seem to relate to my joke at all. He just stared at my forearm with a straight face.

I awkwardly lowered my hand, embarrassed. This ghost had a knack for making people uncomfortable. I was the only one who ended up looking like a fool for joking about the size of a character’s, or rather, a monster’s, penis in a novel.

“I thought it was impossible too.”

Novels are based on reality. He suddenly muttered something strange to himself and turned his head away.

“Since you’re done, put it back wherever you found it.”

“Ah, okay.”

He tossed the book to me carelessly. I caught it absentmindedly and was about to slide it horizontally onto the bookshelf when a sudden system intervention froze me in place.

[Sub Quest Complete!]

“……?”

A window popped up, announcing the sudden completion of the quest. For a moment, I was so flustered that I thought I had misread the failure window.

[Reward: 50 Solra acquired.]

‘What the…? Success?’

But it’s just porn?

The title on the cover still read <Julian’s Voyeuristic Diary>. Confused, I opened the book again, and the content was completely different from the novel Lena was reading.

I could read it in Korean, but just as I was starting to think it was a difficult content I couldn’t understand at all, the letters began to mix and rearrange themselves within the book.

[You have acquired the hidden book <Fragment of the Guidebook>!]

[The useful function ‘Skill Note’ is now unlocked.]

Seriously, this is ridiculous….

If this was the case, it would have been faster if the quest had told me to search for erotic novels from the beginning, saving me time and effort. The quest description mentioned defensive magic and whatnot, so I naturally assumed it was asking me to find a magic book and didn’t even glance at these.

‘I wouldn’t have completed it if it weren’t for Lena.’

It seemed that as a helper character, he was assisting me in this way as well.

The system, which had been buried within the book, popped out and transformed back into a translucent window, flickering rapidly.

[The updated Guidebook is applying new functions to the player’s body!]

[The player’s consciousness will be terminated in 10 seconds for a safe update.]

[Move to a safe location.]

‘W-What? Ten seconds?’

My vision suddenly blurred, and sounds became muffled, as if I was underwater.

I panicked, unable to even get down from the ladder before the change hit me.

[Optimization will take approximately 6 hours.]

Perhaps noticing that something was suddenly wrong with me, I could vaguely see Lena’s lips moving.

“……hyun?”

It sounded like he called my name, but I wasn’t sure.

Gravity pulled my whole body with full force, the air pressing down on me. I tried to open my eyes a couple of times, but my body wouldn’t obey, so I just gave up and lowered my head.

‘Whatever. I’m going to sleep.’

I couldn’t tell if the system had shut me down or if I’d collapsed from not sleeping for a week.

Without any sense of danger as my body tilted while perched on the ladder, I lost consciousness and passed out from the forced shutdown.

─── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ───

“……!”

Haylan saw the body slumped over on the ladder tilt and fall.

Crash! 

Haylan instinctively reached out and barely caught the falling body, tumbling to the floor with it.

“You…!”

Are you okay? 

He swallowed the rest of his question, looking down at the body on top of him. The answer to his anxious question came in the form of steady breathing.

“Are you… sleeping?”

There was no reply. Haylan poked and prodded Chahyun, trying to wake him, but he seemed to have fallen into a deep sleep, oblivious to the world.

“……Haa.”

Well, it wasn’t strange for him to suddenly collapse, considering he had endured a week without sleep as an ordinary human.

“What’s your reason for sneaking out in the middle of the night without sleeping?”

Haylan still thought Chahyun was someone impossible to understand. It would be sunrise soon. He had to go back to his room, but….

‘Should I just leave him here?’

Haylan forced Chahyun upright and leaned him against the bookshelf. But as soon as he let go, Chahyun slumped over again, almost hitting his head on the floor.

“Seriously….”

Haylan straightened him up again, frowning and sighing.

“There’s a limit even to being foolish. How can you not sleep, knowing you might collapse?”

If he left him like this, he would spend the rest of the night lying on the cold stone floor. He didn’t even know when Chahyun would wake up.

What if the servants who came over in the morning found him asleep in the library? What excuse would the man come up with then?

…No, would he even be alive by then?

The chill emanating from the floor was intense. If the man died of hypothermia, it would only cause him trouble.

“Such a bother…”

After a moment of contemplation, Haylan slipped his arms under Chahyun’s neck and knees and lifted him up. He was surprisingly light.

‘Something…’

…felt strange. 

During the day, Chahyun would effortlessly pick him up, but now, the situation was reversed.