FIB Ch 9 part 3

PR by neji

“This servant will keep watch, so why don’t you go and rest?”

Despite Junghwan’s insistence, Heon did not make the slightest move and remained by MoonWon’s side.

A week had already passed. At the very least, the wounds on Heon’s neck and back needed immediate attention.

“They said that if we do not properly treat your wounds now, it will turn into something serious.”

Junghwan waited for a reply but was met with silence. He let out a quiet sigh.

They said that MoonWon was no longer in critical condition, but she had not woken up. Consort Yu and the Crown Prince groveled for forgiveness, but the Emperor’s anger did not fade away easily.

Matters of the court were not necessarily his responsibility, so Junghwan did not care for them. However, his biggest worry was Heon’s wounds.

“I will bring in the doctor.”

When Junghwan did not receive an answer, he shook his head.

MoonWon was not the one who had been broken by the gradually permeating poison.

Junghwan stared at Heon’s back and quietly exited the room. Heon glanced at MoonWon and wiped away the sweat on her brow with a damp washcloth.

Even if he washed her face with the cold washcloth, even if he held her hand until it turned sweaty, MoonWon did not awaken. He felt that something had escaped from within her. Although she was right next to him, this was the first time he felt that she was somewhere far away.

“I’d rather you wake up and get angry.”

This was different from the times she’d let out strained breaths. Although she was breathing, he was not certain she was alive.

“Curse at me and blame me for your father’s death.”

If someone’s life had to crumble, it wasn’t MoonWon’s that should have taken the fall. It was his. Although he knew she wasn’t that kind of woman, the suspicions had begun to spread, and it ultimately strangled her and killed her father.

Even though he had vowed to protect her and keep her safe, the moment she asked him to trust her, he threw venomous words back at her. And on top of all this, the one who had created this mess was his very own mother, Consort Yu.

“I’ll take every single vitriol you throw at me, so wake up.”

After his father died, Heon had been alone. The time he had spent with MoonWon did not even amount to a year. The time was so short that it could have been called a passing dream. However, he did not think he could return to a time when she wasn’t by his side.

‘I was the problem.’

MoonWon’s last words pierced his heart like daggers.

When his father had helplessly collapsed, when Consort Yu had acted as she wished inside the bamboo grove, Heon had done nothing.

In the end, the woman he had decided to treasure as she held out her hand… He hadn’t been able to protect her.

“It’s not your fault.”

Heon’s hand touched MoonWon’s cheek.

He had to focus on his hand in order to feel her breaths brushing against his skin. The faint sounds of her breathing caused his sanity to waver.

The helpless words that had burst out of her lips did not leave his mind.

“It’s my fault.”

The one who should have been hit with that arrow was him.

The time he spent alone was bitter, cold, and unbearable.

* * *

Heon must have fallen asleep because he found himself opening his closed eyes.

His blurry eyes widened in shock. He got to his feet and frantically looked around the room. He didn’t see any trace of an intruder or any evidence that MoonWon had been dragged out of the room.

After glancing back at the empty bed, Heon went outside.

“MoonWon!”

“Master, what are you doing out this late…?”

“Where did the Mistress go?”

“I didn’t see the Mistress leaving her room.”

“Master!”

As the squirming servant answered Heon’s question, he could see Junghwan rushing over to them looking very disheveled after having hastily put on his clothes. However, Heon was already on his way out of the residence.

He only grew more anxious with every step he took. How could a sickly woman have gone anywhere in her condition?! Suddenly, he stopped in his tracks when he came to the answer he was searching for.

She had seemed like she was at death’s door when she was asleep. Although he told himself that everything was alright in order to soothe his nerves, he did not take a step out of that room in fear that she would no longer be a part of this world the moment he took his eyes off her.

He clenched his trembling hands and bit his lips.

In the end, he needed to take responsibility for this. He didn’t want to go with a heavy heart, but it was the only place she could go.

“Ah…”

The smile she had shown him as she told him she’d do her best had long disappeared. The eyes that looked at him as she vowed to stay by his side were no longer looking at him.

“MoonWon.”

MoonWon stopped in her tracks when she heard Heon’s voice. However, she started walking again after a moment’s silence. Her feet must have been pierced by the rocks on the ground because drops of blood fell with every step she took.

“MoonWon.”

He could no longer watch as her wounded body incurred more injuries. Heon stopped in front of her and grabbed her.

“I need to go to my father.”

“It’s still dark, so how can you go now? Let’s go together when the sun comes up.”

“He told me to stop sleeping and wake up. He said he’d be there when I awoke…”

“……”

“I need to go.”

MoonWon let go of Heon’s hand and turned around. He could not send her away like this. Heon grabbed her again as she tried to leave. Heon shook his head when he saw that she no longer looked at him.

“It’s not a place you can go on foot. It’s dark right now, so let’s go together when it gets lighter.”

The arrow had narrowly missed her heart, and the wound hadn’t completely healed. She wasn’t supposed to overwork herself until she had fully recovered. Even if MoonWon wanted to, it wasn’t a place she could go on foot.

“Master!”

Junghwan got off of his horse and ran over to Heon. When she heard his voice, MoonWon’s pale face whitened. Heon didn’t know what she was so afraid of, but he could feel her body trembling in his arms.

“Halt!”

As soon as he shouted out his command, the men who were running towards them stopped in their tracks. Heon looked at Junghwan and gestured to the horse with his jaw. Junghwan understood the order and brought his horse to them.

“Let’s go.”

MoonWon’s eyes finally landed on Heon. Even if she didn’t smile at him or tell him that she’d be with him forever, it didn’t matter.

Heon put MoonWon on the horse and tore his sleeves into strips. He took the strips and wound them around MoonWon’s injured feet.

He got up on the horse behind MoonWon and draped his cape around her shoulders. MoonWon’s eyes continued to look out into the distance.

“Let’s go.”

“Master, what should we…”

“Stay here.”

Before Junghwan could finish his sentence, Heon took off.

Until they arrived at YongUn’s residence, Heon and MoonWon remained silent.

“Father!”

As if she were searching for the deceased YongUn’s voice, MoonWon got off the horse and opened the scorched door.

Her feet came to a stop when she saw the residence that had completely burned down. 

“Father?”

A light flashed behind her dazed eyes as she looked around at the ashes and rubble.

“…I didn’t want to wake up.”

MoonWon’s eyes trembled as she looked around at the remnants of the house that hadn’t been cleared yet. She bent down and sifted through the rubble before pulling out a small piece of cloth. Although it was partially burnt, MoonWon could tell from the color that it used to be the hair tie that she had gifted SoYoon.

“Father told me that if I returned to this place, everything would be alright… So he told me not to be afraid and to open my eyes. When I asked to go with him, he told me I couldn’t. And then he told me I must wake up…”

MoonWon’s body wavered as she spoke the words with much effort. Heon walked over to her side and supported her. MoonWon looked up at him as if she were going to cry and pulled his hands away. 

This wasn’t something for which she could lean on him. MoonWon had no right to rely on him or to absolve herself of her guilt.

“Even if she was an evil woman… Even if he was incompetent… To me, my mother and father were everything. Whenever I was upset, they were the only ones who would tell me that I did nothing wrong.”

YongUn’s voice, which had always been present when she visited this residence, could no longer be heard.

As if he were trying to make her wake up, even though she didn’t want to… The moment she grasped the final shred of reason left in her head and opened her eyes, YongUn’s voice disappeared like the wind.

She didn’t want to have any more dreams. She was too afraid to take a step forward. 

“Now what should I do?”

Although her chest felt so hot that it felt like it was going to burst, nothing came out.

The tears that came out as she endured the pain had dried up.

Did that mean she didn’t have the right to cry?

“Let’s go back.”

MoonWon turned her head when she heard Heon’s voice next to her. MoonWon’s gaze left his face and returned to the air around her.

“You…”

MoonWon’s hand passed his face and landed on the back of his neck.

“Why?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Why are you… again…”

The rough skin on the back of his neck was definitely a scab.

The thing she had feared the most came true. As if she were unable to withstand the shock, MoonWon collapsed to the ground.

“But you didn’t do anything wrong.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong either.”

“There isn’t any reason for you to get hurt like this.”

“MoonWon!”

The wound had opened up again. She felt as if she heard Heon’s voice, but it sounded hazy to her ears.

If the universe had wanted her to live, it wouldn’t have done this to her. If a crime had been committed that was only punishable by death, then the one who needed to pay the price was herself.

“Why did I survive?”

Heon caught his breath when he heard her question.

He wanted to protect her.

He wanted to treasure her and embrace her. As she had said before, he wanted to have her by his side.

The trust that had disappeared with suspicion.

Having ignored her cries asking him to trust her.

In a situation where he thought all he needed to do was protect her as he shunned her.

Every single one of these choices had transformed into a rope that snaked around MoonWon, squeezing her until she shattered.

“Why am I always the only one who is left alive?”

Heon wouldn’t have been as scared as he was now if MoonWon had just burst into tears.

The despair in her dry eyes was suffocating. A silent shriek burst out of MoonWon as she gasped for breath.

Heon brought her into his arms as she struggled to weep.

* * *

Two months had passed since they’d been living in the capital.

Heon and MoonWon’s residence was very quiet, but the situation in the Palace was far from silent.

The Emperor tried to block it, but the rumors regarding the Crown Prince and his desire for a subordinate’s wife began to spread. 

Additionally, word got around that the Consort had a hand in YongUn’s death and MoonWon’s critical condition. Therefore, public opinion had turned against them, and there were talks of wanting to depose the two of them from their positions.

“Master, everything has been prepared.”

The Consort had been sending many of her people to the residence every day. At first, Heon’s people turned them away with a clear warning. But this wasn’t enough, and the Consort kept sending them anyway. She even began to show an interest in meeting MoonWon herself. Ultimately, the sword had to be drawn.

They sent the Consort the heads of those who had tried to sneak into the residence as their reply, but it only served to motivate her stubborn behavior.

“We will leave right away. Get ready.”

The Palace had already been in complete disarray due to the Crown Prince and the Consort, but when Heon had turned in his resignation and asserted that he would give up on the bamboo grove, it plunged into complete chaos. 

All of Heon’s subordinates were soldiers and warriors. If they left, the remaining army would only be one third of what it was. Additionally, Heon had great influence over the other soldiers who were meticulously trained by him.

Heon’s absence would have a huge impact on the country.

“Master.”

Even if they had to leave it soon, Heon wanted to return to the bamboo grove as soon as possible. 

He had no interest in the disordered activities of the Palace. He had already washed his hands of the situation, and the ones who had to worry about the next move were the Emperor and the nobles.

“Is the Mistress in her room?”

“She’s still receiving her treatment.”

Heon stopped the servant from announcing his arrival and opened the door. The doctor who was treating MoonWon’s wounds made a move to get up, but Heon glanced at him to continue the treatment instead.

The wound on her chest was healing, but the large bruise on her back showed no sign of going away despite the doctor’s assurance.

“When will the bruise go away?”

“Seeing as how it isn’t getting any better despite the medicine, it looks like it will take a long time. Thankfully, the most critical wounds are healing quickly, so the bruise should begin fading soon.”

After having finished treating the wounds, the doctor moved to begin wrapping them with bandages. Heon began to approach him.

“I’ll do it. You may leave.”

After receiving the bandage from the doctor, Heon sat down next to MoonWon. The wound on her shoulder from the arrow, and all the other wounds formed from the incident that day… They were being covered up by the bandage.

MoonWon had been staring out the window with lifeless eyes when she suddenly turned her gaze to Heon. She stared at the burns on the nape of his neck and his back. Although he was being treated for those injuries, it was obvious that they’d leave a scar.

“Are you treating me like this because I’ve been cleared of the false accusations?”

“No.”

“Then would it not have mattered if I were a woman who had committed adultery?”

After they had held YongUn’s funeral, they rummaged through the remains of the destroyed residence. However, they could not find any trace of SoYoon and Yuhwa.

Whether they perished in the fire that burnt their corpses to ashes or whether they had been killed by the assassins, she did not know. They could not find any trace of them from the rubble. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“If only I hadn’t clung onto you that fateful day, would things have been better off?”

“Don’t say something like that.”

Heon tightened his grasp on MoonWon’s hand.

She hadn’t done anything wrong. If someone was to be blamed, it should be him for not taking care of Consort Yu before she could make this move.

MoonWon claimed this was all her fault, but she was the greatest victim in all this.

“This didn’t happen because of you.”

The best Heon could do was repeat these words over and over again. He was used to enduring everything in his life, so he did not care how long it took for MoonWon to make a full recovery. He just didn’t want MoonWon to collapse from self-blame.

“Let’s go back for now and slowly heal.”

“You…”

MoonWon closed her mouth. Heon’s eyes narrowed, but MoonWon shook her head.

“It’s nothing.”

‘I should never have fallen in love.’

However, she couldn’t bring herself to blurt out the words that would only serve to hurt Heon. The one who had to endure all of this was ultimately her. It was the weight she had to carry for begging him to marry her.

“We’ll return to the bamboo grove. I’ll send over some servants, so get ready.”

With that, Heon exited the room.

Left all alone, MoonWon looked out the window. The sky was incredibly clear today. It was as if that hellish night was nothing but a dream. Every single day afterwards was very peaceful.

But with every single day, the question in her heart grew stronger.

“Why did I survive?”

YongUn had died in her stead, and Heon had gotten scarred instead of her. 

“I should have died.”

Heon stood outside the room and clenched his fists.

Her physical wounds were getting better, but the ones in her heart were only growing deeper. The venomous words he had spewed had twisted in a way that brought her all the way here.

“Huu.”

Heon let out a tired breath and closed his eyes.

When she saw the carriage being prepared to go back, MoonWon glanced at Heon, who was standing next to it. When he met her eyes, he quietly grabbed her hand.

Despite the fierce thoughts that continued to plague her mind, she could not find an answer.

* * *

“Why weren’t you able to stop them?! Why?!”

Consort Yu’s scream rang in the air of SeoWok Palace. She had just learned that Heon had left for the bamboo grove.

Despite Consort Yu’s attempts to settle the situation, Lee Moon had taken this chance to fiercely attack her.

Consort Yu was definitely making her own moves against JaeHoon, but the only one who could help her right now was Heon. However, he had given up on his post and the bamboo grove.

Even though JaeHoon and Consort Yu had begged for forgiveness, the Emperor threatened them and told them that if Lee Heon did not change his mind, they would both be deposed from their positions.

“I cannot be deposed like this. I cannot surrender like this.”

For JaeHoon, since he was the Emperor’s flesh and blood, he would have many opportunities to make his return. However, the moment Consort Yu left the Palace, it would all be over for her.

She hadn’t clung onto her position so relentlessly only for it to all be taken away like this.

“All because of that disgraceful wench! She’s always in my way!”

If only MoonWon had died. Then it would have been a lot easier. Because she had survived, she only served to weigh her down. She needed to meet with Heon if she wanted to untangle herself from this situation. However, the ones she had planted in the bamboo grove had all been eliminated.

There was no way Heon did not know the implications of giving up his post and the bamboo grove. No, actually, it was probably because he knew it so well that he had done what he did. 

It was common for nobles to secretly meet with the skilled Chief Commander and ask for his support. However, Heon never fell for those temptations because of one reason. The bamboo grove.

“What about the prime minister and the Crown Prince?”

“They’re in a similar situation to ours. I heard they’re trying to get in contact with the bamboo grove, but the Chief Commander is holding firm, so I heard they’re waiting with bated breath.”

“Knowing that he’s in the same boat as me is nothing to relax about. How dare he try to kill him?! Who does he think he is?!”

She was filled with rage at the fact that JaeHoon had tried to kill Heon. How dare he go after her one and only son!

Even though the Crown Prince was in the same boat as her, she couldn’t relax when it came to him.

“Court Lady Yeo.”

“Yes, Your Highness.”

“I must leave the Palace.”

“But, Your Highness, if His Majesty finds out, there will be trouble.”

“If everything is going to collapse like this anyway, then I might as well do everything I can.”

Even if she had to get on her knees in front of MoonWon, she would do whatever she could.

In a situation where she did not have an heir, if she lost the Emperor’s trust, there would be no way to survive. If she didn’t have power, then there was no reason for her to live.

Consort Yu clenched her fists as a fire blazed in her eyes.

* * *

As soon as she got out of the carriage, the waiting servants gave them a deep bow.

The atmosphere of the bamboo grove was completely different than what it was before they had left it. The servants who had wagged their fingers at MoonWon were nowhere to be seen.

“Mistress!”

Hong-yeom squeezed between the group of servants and ran over to MoonWon’s side. Although he didn’t say it in words, she could clearly see the worry in his eyes. She looked down. 

With a hand that still carried a few wounds, MoonWon stroked his hair before moving towards the inner residence.

“Let’s go inside.”

A mere two months had passed.

But so many things seemed very different.

“M-Mistress.”

Yeori stood anxiously in front of the inner residence. As soon as she saw MoonWon, her eyes reddened. She limped over to MoonWon and, unable to meet her eyes, collapsed to the ground.

Tears trickled down her cheeks and dripped down next to MoonWon’s feet. As if the tears were dirtying MoonWon’s presence, Yeori hurriedly swept the ground with her hand to wipe them away.

“Has your mother gotten better?”

Yeori did not answer the question. She merely grabbed onto MoonWon’s foot and lowered her head.

“Whether it’s you or me, the world is so cruel.”

Who could she hate and who could she blame?

The idea that anything would change if she did her best may have been a futile dream.

MoonWon lifted her head and looked up at the sky.

The sky was exceptionally clear. But she didn’t feel anything.

‘Why did we return?’

She no longer had a reason to stay here. Her mere existence would be an obstacle for Heon.

Why was she the only one to survive safe and sound?

The questions continued to pile up, but she did not receive an answer.