FIB Ch 11 part 2

PR by neji

Whenever Heon remembered the empty place MoonWon had left behind, he couldn’t help the dread and anxiety that washed over him. He felt like he was going to be swept away by the raging emotions and collapse, but in moments like these, the only person who caught him from going off the deep end was MoonWon.

“Your Highness! I’m over here!”

The sound of women’s laughter filled the back garden of the palace. They were wearing dresses that faintly revealed the outlines of their bodies. The dresses were made of thin cloth that reminded Heon of a butterfly’s wing.

“Are you over here?”

“Your Highness! I said I’m over here.”

Sometimes, Heon wished he had just gone insane. However, he didn’t have that luxury.

Even though she had lost everything, MoonWon said she’d live. Instead of spewing rage and hatred, she continued to blame herself up until the very moment she left him.

Even if moving through life was like hell and unbearably painful, he needed to endure it all. He began to hang around those he viewed to be too dirty to converse with. He needed to get revenge on all those who had been hostile towards MoonWon.

Including himself…

“Your Highness! I said I’m here. Here! Kyaa!”

“Got you!”

The shrieking laughter of the woman mixed in with JaeHoon’s chuckle.

Three years had passed since MoonWon had disappeared. Funnily enough, the other person who had changed as much as Heon was JaeHoon.

JaeHoon took off the blindfold covering his eyes and buried his face against the captured woman’s neck.

“I caught you, so how shall I reward you?”

The woman’s body trembled as if JaeHoon’s breaths tickled her skin. She turned so that her body molded against his. She pushed aside his open shirt and pressed her milky breasts against his chest.

“Even if you won’t say it with words, it seems that your clever body is talking for you! Hahaha!”

Heon silently watched as JaeHoon lost half of his mind in the embrace of women.

Heon didn’t find it uncomfortable or painful to see JaeHoon break down like this. What made Heon uncomfortable was the woman who was embracing JaeHoon.

“Y-Your Highness. The Chief Commander has arrived.”

When the eunuch announced Heon’s presence, JaeHoon pulled his head out from between the woman’s breasts and turned his head. 

One of them had MoonWon’s eyes. Another had the exact same shape of her face… and her exact height and a similar voice.

Although they were all different, the features Heon saw in them were identical to the woman he grieved to have in his arms.

“You came?”

JaeHoon smiled as he gazed at Heon with meaningful eyes. When Heon lowered his head in greeting, JaeHoon burst into laughter and grabbed the woman closest to him and dragged her to Heon.

“Kyaa! Your Highness!”

He pushed the woman in front of Heon.

“Look! What about this time? Is she similar?”

“What do you mean, Your Highness?”

“Are you feigning ignorance? Or have you lost your mind like me after growing tired of waiting so long?”

Heon didn’t move an inch despite JaeHoon’s taunts.

JaeHoon’s brows trembled when he saw no reaction from Heon. With a crooked smile, JaeHoon grabbed the woman’s clothes.

Riiiip!

“Kyaa! Your Highness!”

The revealing clothes fell away and exposed her body. Finding herself suddenly in the nude, the woman frantically tried to cover herself.

“Take a good look. Isn’t she similar to MoonWon?”

Despite JaeHoon’s taunts, Heon did not glance at the woman and replied in a cold voice.

“Everyone leave.”

The bustling atmosphere suddenly grew tense.

The women who paid no heed to Heon suddenly burst up and left as if they were making an escape. A gleam of lunacy flashed across JaeHoon’s eyes when he saw the sudden change in atmosphere.

Although he had completely collapsed into this state, that damned Heon was the same as always.

The man who should have felt MoonWon’s absence the most was completely fine.

That fact made JaeHoon insane with rage.

“Follow me.”

JaeHoon staggered and led the way. Heon’s eyes sank as he watched him.

JaeHoon’s current state may be a lie or the truth, but Heon didn’t care.

If he was truly on the verge of collapse, that meant SeoMoon would end here as well. If it was a lie, then he just needed to work harder.

“I heard that Yeon was trying to mess with SeoMoon. Is that right?”

After he entered his bedchamber, JaeHoon didn’t bother to offer Heon a seat and sat down on a chair. Because he wasn’t asked to sit, Heon merely lowered his head.

“There was some conflict in the rural areas. Yeon’s soldiers withdrew, and that was the end of it.”

“That can’t be. They dared to draw their swords against SeoMoon. How can we leave them alone? Shouldn’t we deploy our troops into Yeon and squash the bugs under our feet?”

“It’s almost winter. If we aren’t careful with our troops, we might hurt ourselves in the process.”

“My SeoMoon is not that weak. I’m not sure about the second prince’s SeoMoon, though. Take this opportunity to kill him while you’re over there. I’ll gladly bury him.”

JaeHoon burst into delighted laughter.

“It is not your SeoMoon yet, Your Highness. It is best to be cautious.”

“It will soon be mine.”

“Lee Moon has been removed, and those who followed Lee Moon have laid down their authority. Don’t you think you are lacking supporters?”

Just as Heon finished his sentence, JaeHoon picked up the inkstone in front of him and threw it at Heon. Heon moved to the side and evaded the inkstone before lowering his head to JaeHoon.

“I’ll take my leave, Your Highness. Please rest.”

“I heard that you are to be married to the duke’s daughter.”

For the first time since this interaction, Heon’s face betrayed a reaction. JaeHoon did not miss the minute change in expression.

“You acted noble for these past three years, but it seems that it was all an act. I’m sure your next wife will be eaten alive as well, hehehe.”

A crack formed on the wall around his heart. The wound that had not healed began to bleed once again.

“Unlike Your Highness, I have not been able to find relief by using a substitute.”

“What?”

“I have never ended my marriage. Therefore, I have no reason to take another wife. I’m not sure what you expected, but please forgive this servant for being unable to follow your wishes.”

JaeHoon’s body trembled in shock. Heon sneered at him.

“I forgot to tell you. The one over there does not look like MoonWon. No woman will be able to take her place.”

“You bastard!”

“I will take my leave and return to the bamboo grove now.”

“Where do you think you’re going?!”

With JaeHoon shouting out after him, Heon exited the room. He heard something crash into the closed door followed by JaeHoon’s cursing. However, Heon did not want to interact with him any longer.

Whether JaeHoon continued to fornicate with women who reminded him of MoonWon or whether he collapsed, that was JaeHoon’s choice.

Heon’s objective was to do his best to bring SeoMoon to its knees. And to find MoonWon. That was all.

* * *

The rabbit lowered itself into the grass and kicked off the ground to make its escape. Suddenly, an arrow whistled through the air and pierced the rabbit. When she saw the dead rabbit, MoonWon gathered her hands in prayer.

“Sorry.”

When she saw her hands trembling, she narrowed her eyes. She intertwined her fingers to force the shaking to settle.

“Huu.”

The white mist leaving her lips disappeared in the wind. When the trembling stopped, MoonWon carefully pulled out the arrow from the dead rabbit. After cleaning up around her, MoonWon picked up the rabbit.

The mountain path was rough and dangerous, but she had grown used to traversing it, so it wasn’t difficult. After walking through the dense forest, she encountered a dirt path that led her to an open clearing with a panoramic view.

MoonWon found a seat and breathed warm air into her hands.

She needed to return before the sun began to set, but spending some time alone in this place had become her hobby.

“I better make a scarf as soon as I get back.”

The winters here were characterized by fiercely cold winds.

It had taken one year to make a place for herself here. It had taken one year to get herself back in shape. And it had taken one year to figure out how she wanted to live.

She still had wounds from the past, but once she had made up her mind to continue living, it was doable.

Unlike the past, she was now content to stay in place without looking forward. However, time continued to pass by.

Three years later.

MoonWon was in Yeon.

* * *

Another gust of cold wind blew past.

A thick cloak was draped over her slightly trembling body. MoonWon opened her mouth when she saw someone draw near.

“The wind feels refreshing.”

“By ‘refreshing’, you mean ‘cold’. If you catch a cold like last time, I’ll get an earful from Yeori again.”

Having reached adolescence, Hong-yeom’s voice was now low and deep. His height and physique had also changed as quickly as his voice. He used to be shorter than MoonWon, but now he towered over her. He was even taller than the other village boys. His pale skin that seemed to be untouched by the sun continued to draw the eyes of the girls who were not yet of age.

Of course, Hong-yeom was unaware of all the attention and only focused on one person…

“But I know Mistress isn’t the type of person to be cowed by someone like me.”

“I think you’re a bit scary now. Because your voice is so deep, I get the feeling that I’m being scolded.”

“It’s not a feeling. You’re actually being scolded.”

MoonWon beamed at him. Seeing this, Hong-yeom sighed. His eyes traveled to the animals she had hunted.

“For someone who hates hunting, why did you bring back this much?”

Possibly because the bleeding animals reminded her of herself, MoonWon did not touch her bow and arrow unless absolutely necessary.

However, as the seasons changed and money became a necessity for when the weather grew cold, MoonWon would grab her bow without fail and go out to hunt.

“We need some rabbit fur if we want to make scarves for you and Yeori.”

“Who told you to do that for mere servants?”

“I wanted to make mine as well as yours. And you’re not mere servants, so of course I should make them.”

Her calm answer caused Hong-yeom to shake his head. He already knew that MoonWon had a difficult personality. After having lived with her these past few years, he came to understand how stubborn and skilled she was in avoiding what she did not want to confront.

In the end, he was the one who had decided to follow her. Instead of nagging her some more, Hong-yeom merely took the hunted animals as well as her arrows.

“You have a guest.”

“Who? Ah…”

“He kept singing about how bored he was, so I escaped by telling him that I’d go get you.”

MoonWon lowered her eyes when she heard Hong-yeom’s grumbling.

She had searched far and wide in hopes of finding Yuhwa and SoYoon alive, but it was all for naught. In the end, she accepted that they had died and buried them deep in her heart. Feeling left all alone, she continued to rely on Hong-yeom and Yeori and endured each day that passed.

It wasn’t easy to find a place for two women and one boy. Thankfully, this village didn’t ask any questions and accepted them into their fold.

“Where did you go and why are you coming back now?”

With guards surrounding the entire house, Doyoon waved his hand at MoonWon.

From SeoMoon to the nation of JeongEum. From JeongEum to the nation of Yeoju. And finally, the nation of Yeon.

The man MoonWon had continuously tried to evade was now smiling back at her.

MoonWon bowed in greeting to a delighted Doyoon.

* * *

Well aware of Heon’s reach and influence, MoonWon first went to a border town of SeoMoon when she left the bamboo grove. Because of the uneasy situation at the capital, MoonWon believed that it would be difficult for Heon to come all the way over to the small town.

However, Heon had come to find her, so she quickly evaded him and went somewhere else. Because he personally searched and followed her from village to village, there were many instances where she barely made an escape in the dark of the night with only the moonlight to guide her.

When it became obvious that she would not be able to avoid him in SeoMoon, she finally crossed the border. However, this time, it seemed that Doyoon had caught wind of her location. Whenever she settled down, he would always come to see her.

“How did you find me again?”

“It’s not like this place was impossible to get to.”

Even when she begged him not to come, even when she angrily asked him why he kept doing this to her, Doyoon always remained calm. She felt that she finally understood why Heon was so reluctant to introduce her to Doyoon.

Three days after she had settled in Yeon, the moment she saw him arrive as he asked her for some tea, she decided to give up trying to escape him.

“Heon is no fun these days.”

When she heard the blunt remark about Heon, MoonWon lowered her head.

“Am I not fun either?”

“You’re fun. No matter what I say, you don’t seem to care, right?”

MoonWon never knew where her conversations with Doyoon would go, and it was quite exhausting. And the one with the upper hand was always Doyoon.

If Doyoon wished it, he could always tell Heon where she was. However, he never used MoonWon to make Heon waver, and he even helped hide her location from Heon.

“If your empress finds out that you are speaking with me like this, she will not be pleased.”

“Mm, there’s no way that would happen. I don’t have an empress yet.”

MoonWon’s brow furrowed at the unexpected answer. She had heard that Ju was swallowing surrounding nations. At this point in time, its influence was no smaller than SeoMoon’s. And Doyoon, as the master of such a nation, did not have an empress. MoonWon found it surprising.

“So it looks like you’ll have to play with me a lot. Heon hasn’t been very fun these days.”

“……”

“The thing about Heon is…”

“Your Majesty, I know that I do not have a right to say this to you, but I beg you. Please stop talking about that man.”

MoonWon’s head sank as she spoke. With his chin in his hand as he propped it on the table, Doyoon’s eyes gleamed as they gazed at MoonWon.

“Are you still hurt? Or do you still hate him?”

“Don’t you think it’s time for me to clear out my heart?”

“Hmm.”

Doyoon thought that she’d miss Heon after living apart for a while. But unlike Heon, who was collapsing further by the day, MoonWon remained steady. He had planned to tell Heon about MoonWon’s location after her heart had sufficiently healed. However, after seeing how peaceful she was, he realized it was going to be difficult.

“Are you truly done?”

“Your Majesty, so…”

“Then I can begin preparations for your remarriage.”

“Cough, cough.”

In the middle of drinking her tea, MoonWon began to cough. She turned her head away and tried to stop it, but tears began to form in her eyes as she was overcome with wracking coughs.

After taking a few more sips of tea, the coughs settled down, and MoonWon let out a strained breath.

“Hmmm.”

Doyoon’s voice sounded strange. Filled with a sense of dread, MoonWon carefully opened her mouth. Suddenly, Doyoon got up from his seat.

“I’m going to leave now. The air is nice and crisp, so the tea tasted amazing.”

“Your Majesty.”

“Ah! I came here to tell you something, but I almost forgot. SeoMoon’s army will begin to move into Yeon. Yeon recently looted one of SeoMoon’s villages and was subdued by the Chief Commander.”

“Ah…”

“Heon was against it, but the Emperor and the Crown Prince thought differently.”

MoonWon was lost in thought as she lowered her head. When Doyoon turned around, the doors opened.

When MoonWon followed him out, she saw a large heap of objects on the ground.

“I’m paying you back for the nice cup of tea.”

“Your Majesty, this is too much. How can I accept all this?”

“If you don’t want to receive this, why don’t you move to Ju instead?”

MoonWon’s eyes widened. Saying she forgot it all because it was in the past was a lie.

Even when she lived in hiding as she moved from one dangerous place to another, MoonWon never entered Ju. It was because she was afraid of becoming a burden to Heon.

Therefore, whenever Doyoon made one of his unexpected visits, MoonWon never let it show that she was having a difficult time.

“I’m sorry, Your Majesty.”

“Heon is Heon, but I also like you.”

“Your Majesty.”

“But I am not the type of person to give my heart to someone else’s wife, so don’t worry. I just want both of you, that’s all.”

“……”

“It was difficult to bring all this stuff when I came, so when I leave, I’ll leave with a lighter pocket. With this much, it won’t be too difficult to weather the winter. You’re still a lady, so don’t overwork yourself.”

“How can I receive this? I am not a citizen of Ju.”

“Later… I’m talking about way later, I think you’ll be of help to me. I’m merely investing in you for that help now, so do me a favor and take it.”

Doyoon turned around as if he were refusing to hear a different answer. After Doyoon and his entourage trickled out like water and disappeared, MoonWon gazed at the large heap of items filling up the empty house.

“Mistress.”

Hong-yeom approached her and looked at the items with wide eyes.

“He just came and left these here, so I wasn’t able to properly ask him to take them with him.”

“At this rate, we’ll have enough to last the winter and then some.”

“We better share what we can with the villagers.”

“I’ll do it. You stay here, Mistress.”

“Let’s do it together.”

The relationship between MoonWon and Hong-yeom was not like that of a mistress and servant. Rather, they were more like family. They both dropped everything and left their old lives, so their old titles and positions were dropped as well.

After gazing in the direction Doyoon had disappeared, MoonWon turned her head away.

* * *

When the night deepened, Yeori came to MoonWon, who was sitting at the table, and brought a wash basin full of warm water.

“Please give me your feet.”

“You don’t have to do that anymore.”

“You went hunting and overworked yourself again. Please give them to me.”

Helpless against Yeori’s insistence, MoonWon lifted her skirts. Yeori carefully sprinkled warm water on MoonWon’s feet and began to massage them. MoonWon let out a satisfied sigh.

Every night before they went to sleep, Yeori washed and massaged her feet. Although MoonWon told her she didn’t need to do it anymore, Yeori continued to wash her feet without fail every single night.

“Please don’t overwork yourself.”

“I didn’t overwork myself today.”

After her feet were bathed in the warm water, MoonWon felt as if her entire body had melted. As Yeori continued to wash her feet, MoonWon’s eyes traveled to the clothes Yeori had taken out. MoonWon glanced at the thick clothing and then at the bedding.

Feeling MoonWon’s gaze, Yeori spoke up as she continued to wash MoonWon’s feet.

“The weather has gotten colder, so I put some more cotton into your clothes and blankets, Mistress. Please try it out and let me know if you’re still cold.”

“What about you? Did you put some cotton in your clothes?”

MoonWon touched Yeori’s sleeve. When she felt that it wasn’t even half the thickness of her clothes, she shook her head.

“Your clothes are too thin.”

Despite MoonWon’s words, Yeori merely smiled in silence. After meticulously drying MoonWon’s feet, Yeori went to MoonWon’s bedding and began to adjust it.

“Please sleep.”

“Yeori.”

“Yes?”

“Let’s let it all go now.”

Yeori’s breath caught. However, that only lasted a moment. After helping MoonWon to bed, Yeori bowed and exited the room. When Yeori’s presence disappeared, MoonWon sat up.

MoonWon wasn’t the only one who had remained frozen after what had happened.

She wished Yeori would take care of herself as much as she took care of MoonWon, but Yeori still felt guilty. She believed that MoonWon had become like this because of her, so she continued to give everything she had to MoonWon, even the most trivial of things.

‘Are you still hurt? Or do you still hate him?’

Doyoon’s question clung to her mind, but she had no answer.

However, one thing was certain. She had no intention of starting something with Heon ever again. MoonWon looked away from the window. She opened the tiny dresser at her side and took out a pouch.

When she opened the worn pouch, a ring and a hairpin fell out.

She had given up everything when she left, but she could not bring herself to leave the only things she had received from Heon.

“I should throw them away now.”

Although she always felt the same way, she could never act on it.

Doyoon may have said those words because he saw the crack in her facade. She put the ring and the hairpin back into the pouch and looked out the window. 

She would have to send it all away at some point. And the only one who could do it was her.

* * *

Heon held MoonWon’s hand and buried his face against her skin. He took a deep, satisfied breath. MoonWon gazed at Heon and enclosed her hand around his cheek. Her soft breaths, the warmth of her skin… They all belonged to her.

He had never forgotten a single moment he had spent with her. Every minor detail clung to him and rooted themselves deep into his heart.

“MoonWon.”

MoonWon looked at him and smiled in silence. When he saw her bright smile, his anxious suspicion that this was all a dream withered away. He pulled Moonwon into his embrace and rested his chin on top of her head.

“I will never let you go again.”

Within his embrace, MoonWon wound her arms around his hips.

“Husband.”

His heart trembled at her voice. He didn’t care what happened anymore.

She had returned to his arms.

“Why…”

“Mm?”

“Why did you kill him?”

His peaceful heart collapsed. He lowered his eyes to see her still in his arms.

Blood began to trickle out of her eyes and drenched his clothes.

“MoonWon?”

“Why did you kill my father?”

MoonWon’s blood caused Heon’s heart to twist inside his chest. He couldn’t breathe, and a terrified groan remained stuck in his throat. When she saw that he was in pain, a deranged smile stretched across her lips.

“Ha!”

Sweat dripped down his chin and fell onto the sheets. Heon’s panting breaths turned into mist in the cold room. Early winter weather had arrived, but Heon was left alone in the cold room without any warmth. He continued to gasp for breath for a long time.

“Huu.”

No matter how cold it got, Heon refused to heat his room. Worried for his health, Junghwan and Yusun begged him to change his mind, but Heon remained resolute.

When MoonWon left, the only things she took with her was the ring she had been given at their wedding and the hairpin he had purchased for her. She took nothing else.

Without knowing how she was living on her own out there, Heon could not live comfortably himself. 

“I’m losing my mind.”

After MoonWon left, the nightmares grew worse and continued to plague him.

He told himself that he could endure it, but he was reaching his limit.

* * *

Junghwan searched for Heon, and a heavy sigh left his lips. What should have ended with the previous master had unexpectedly plagued Heon as well. 

After Consort Yu left him, the previous master lost himself in liquor. Unlike him, Heon remained sober. However, Heon looked to be in more dire straits.

“Master.”

Even when he was in the middle of something, whenever there was a report of someone who looked like MoonWon, he would drop everything and race over. Even if it was a vague report, Heon never dismissed it.

After whipping himself around like this, he’d return empty-handed and barely get any sleep in a cold room all alone. If he disappeared after staying awake for a few days, he’d always be found in the garden MoonWon had planted or at the inns where he and MoonWon had spent some time together.

“We’ve taken care of it as you asked.”

“Mm.”

Heon had been at the inn since the morning, and he got up from his seat as if he had discovered something. He frantically ran down the stairs and exited the inn. As if he were being pulled, he mindlessly ran through the crowd.

Her simply flowing hair, her quiet pace, her slender wrists that were revealed under the short sleeves… It was her.

“MoonWon!”

His heart raced and his mouth went dry.

The MoonWon he had met in his dreams was here. She didn’t turn around when he called her name, but Heon didn’t care.

He pushed the people in his way and grabbed the woman’s arm.

“Ah!”

“……”

“Who are you and why are you doing this?”

The woman was not MoonWon. She didn’t look anything like MoonWon. His hand limply fell back to his side. The woman looked at him with a strange expression on her face before she ran away.

After MoonWon had disappeared, this had happened countless times. He’d grab the arm of a woman thinking she was MoonWon, and when she turned around, she wouldn’t look anything like her. Then the woman would give him a strange look and run away. This was now a normal occurrence.

“Damn it.”

No matter how much he searched the areas where she’d probably be, there weren’t any traces of her.

As long as they were living under the same sky, he would be able to find her. However, on days like this when his search was in vain, he couldn’t help the overwhelming apprehension washing over him.

“Master!”

Junghwan ran after him and gasped when he saw Heon’s complexion.

It was as if he had crossed an icy river. Heon didn’t know this himself, but in Junghwan’s eyes, Heon was running on thin ice without a care for his life.

“Let’s go back.”

“Don’t you think you should rest for a bit?”

Junghwan had mustered the courage to ask, but he did not receive an answer.

He recalled Yusun warning him that Heon would collapse at this rate. However, Junghwan couldn’t do anything.

If it were MoonWon, she would have told him he needed to rest and dragged him back by his arm. He had hoped to tell Heon that they had found some kind of trace of her whereabouts, but it was a very difficult task.

“And the men we sent out last month wrote us a letter.”

When they returned to the inn, Heon opened the letter that Junghwan handed him.

They say Yeon Doyoon went to Yeon.

It was a short letter. The last place he sent someone to search was Yeon.

It was the country with the most barren and unforgiving terrain on the continent. The land wasn’t fertile, so it wasn’t good for farming. However, it was plentiful in minerals and other raw materials. However, all the profit that came from selling these goods were pocketed by the ruling class. The peasants lived difficult lives in order to survive.

They generally depended on Ju for food, but because it was still not enough, they eyed the fertile farmlands of SeoMoon.

No matter how strong MoonWon was, there was no place in Yeon that was suitable for a woman to live.

Heon had obtained power in SeoMoon and gathered all the information he could, but for some strange reason, he could not catch MoonWon.

If she were truly in Yeon…

“Yeon? Or Ju?”

The flowers in MoonWon’s garden bloomed, and the blooms withered as the leaves fell. Then the flowers would bloom again. Like this, years had passed. Even though time had continued to flow by, the MoonWon who had promised to watch it with him was nowhere to be seen.

He didn’t care how she looked or who she was with. If he could only bring her back… That was his only wish.

‘Why did you kill my father?’

Goosebumps formed on his flesh.

If MoonWon had found another man, if another man had captured her heart, what would he do?

He couldn’t lose MoonWon.

She was the only one he could not live without.