ESS Ch 8

“Hypocrites are the problem. There are too 0367a793c3 many people who a628c9225a lie without any d80e1aeeee guilt as long 335a1df38c as it benefits b2ec65a674 them.”c77a27906957ce6e

Duncan kept blurting out 191fd16c31 such things in public, 6c0e47d6e2 checking my expression. Every time he did, 99d9b45935 Eleanor rolled her eyes, 85681196a6 saying, “What nonsense is f36311cd12 he spouting again?” and e2d239d42e Remington continued eating without 82d7bb6044 changing his expression.01d761d71aaeca3d

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I tried my cc8c093006 best to maintain fc672656ed composure. Duncan seemed to cb589af99f think I would c3fdcd57b8 whine and beg 74b34f6649 him to stop, 68c731e2a8 but I had 772cc6eaaa no intention of 8b41e685fc doing so. If Eleanor found out c83d69ea1b the truth and turned c8ec200c94 her back on me 723c610b4b again, I was prepared a400cbd69e to accept the consequences.c6668a0cace4b32d

As I remained unmoved, Duncan, 9807ac6301 on the contrary, became more f08c20e6d4 agitated, circling me like a 64eb93e789 dog.c5b7ac5467cbf3ad

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“Don’t get me wrong, Dani. I was talking about 66380dfe78 Candidate Hayden just now.”b8d1f2d257fedfcf

Duncan said, grabbing 70aff6a6d6 the sausages on 3cef2cf718 my plate without fedc450fc1 asking. His hands were 9ded700f1b so big that 7df9da274c he took four c8b8be1176 pieces at once, 73f7eff451 leaving my plate 88a11a5f4a empty. I was angry.de063f57fc3ddbbc

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“Hayden’s been aggressively pushing against Congressman Roderson lately, right? But I heard that he also has a mistress. He’s marketed himself with a responsible image, and now there’s a cheating scandal. He’s a total hypocrite. Well, all Republicans are like that.”3ffc90c2956ec2ee

“I think mistresses should be exposed too. The guy who cheats and 7974742cf1 the woman who accepts it 34b75b8c7e are equally dirty.”616bda78fe5972ba

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Someone else agreed with Duncan, chattering about Candidate Hayden’s affair. Duncan, pleased, checked Remington’s expression.fed36c8224f9ac2d

Even though I believed Duncan’s claims were nonsense, I couldn’t help but follow his gaze to Remington’s face.e170b3c2c3eed8a4

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However, even with words like c102fb3d6d “affair” and “mistress,” his face 61bc5dadd3 didn’t even flinch. He just quietly slid d1f6ad4a4a a plate of freshly 04b2664ec8 cooked sausages toward me. This seemed to cdb3c2ae4d irritate Duncan even 803e39015e more.eccc471263370549

“It’s a shame the headmaster couldn’t make it. El, why don’t you try ddba6d87c0 a video call?”58557cdfffe4bca6

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“It’s the middle of the night in New Zealand right now. They’ll just get annoyed 65b21ee374 if I call.”50bde5cfbfe32bf2

“It might be different if Remington calls. The headmaster adores Remington.”b059a2566f0bf329

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At those words, Remington’s face hardened for the first time.c9e1a7efaba8c954

It was a 2af672d351 subtle change, but 24b6e73286 I could feel 3a3591bc50 the coldness in ae2e0986c5 his eyes. Remington softly pulled up dfcecc08f9 the corners of his 83b5175eb1 mouth into a smile.b54a17ae422ee734

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“Do as El says, Duncan. Calling at this hour is disrespectful. Besides, they’re on vacation.”fd2ec5806bdd3259

“Tsk. You’re all the same.”f39350b6c829dbf2

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Duncan sat down next to 21192e0599 me with a sullen look. I flinched and moved my b5c1c1a4e4 body to the side as 611f7a2f38 he came too close, and 31e766f605 he pulled me in by 5b4e744741 my shoulder and hugged me.18760b391c4279ba

“You saw it too, right? Remington’s fake smile.”98e80f12998a7ee8

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“…I didn’t see it. Get away.”3bdfd0ea96a6b183

I shoved Duncan away f2d8274604 and stood up. Duncan followed me, chattering, “You 1acf1e96e7 really didn’t see it? You’re not pretending you 5d6e1a6a35 didn’t see it, you 77bacddce6 really didn’t? Are you that clueless?” 34fb6c627d I didn’t respond and 3ebdab5563 just kept walking.4ab0b1b3ddc0b969

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When I glanced 865ff4186f back at the 81b1409fb3 table, Remington was 04a57bd097 still smiling and 8c63df1999 talking with the 848b50a1d1 others. The smile was elaborate. Like that blue 2a268ef887 flower, so elaborate 6c2f157177 that it was 39b7f70093 hard to tell 6e4edf6b1d whether it was 4ec071eda8 real or fake.b1a6c4b987168892

✧˖🕯️˚࿔️e46a1e9e375606af

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Having failed to ab098de23a get the desired 8a88b95200 reaction, Duncan sulked 6d047818bd properly. He went surfing with 4e046b0658 a bunch of people 34b52278d6 early in the morning, 6327f34d39 and when the sun 56e290b378 began to set, he 22dce8ebd4 came back and started 74f089d8d5 a dance party. All the while, 1877a82a07 he watched Remington 9aed29379a and me with 16f546554e the eyes of e65e575c9b a hyena looking 6cba2b9797 for an opportunity.cbbb8ba5a0cf840f

Thanks to that, at least, 89152d4a76 the house was quiet during 626eb54e42 the day.b538dc1e212ff25d

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Eleanor, seemingly also tired of abb8dcd0d8 afternoon tea, took the girls f52c8da8b0 out shopping or tanning on 58c5439d10 the beach during the day, ccb0454860 so there was really no 4e13fe0952 one left in the house. Lifeless bodies unable to open 5a37411250 their eyes due to hangovers, 153473baf0 and the house staff. Apart from them, there was f1e06c39f1 only Remington and me.91bbb79b9f56155b

It was expected for 8d94025ec6 me, as I hated f3578a15a4 going out, but it a849bfa746 was really surprising that 9df86e5fb3 Remington stayed cooped up 66a686d66f in the house.0fcbacb5a8072031

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I had thought of him 213f74b568 as an extroverted person, but 953f0c4b0e the Remington I saw and 795683e4ee experienced here was unexpectedly introverted. He was definitely a rare 328d413173 breed like me who disliked 5522963dcd parties.fa296a0eb652acef

Remington among people seemed to skillfully conceal his boredom with his handsome appearance and excellent conversational skills, but he didn’t seem to genuinely listen to anyone, nor did he seem to genuinely laugh at anyone’s jokes. Even when he was being complimented, Remington’s eyes looked distant and desolate, as if staring at a vast ocean.94b3afc63970c91e

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But during the day, 29475d124f when everyone was away, 0cb2350b30 Remington seemed more at 3342092ce1 ease than ever.840e9d2615a9aabf

The library, the record room, 4209d5504b the movie room…. I often bumped 9a29517890 into him inside 4ab7ada544 the house, and 418e0e4f58 each time, the 2ee328f5fc Remington I saw c135f4ae30 had a face 0a168aab76 that was closest 9466f32eb0 to his true b814221d68 self.635f4eb6e7fe8fa0

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A face that seemed 4d03fe82ba to have shed a 3c8ec9fa49 lot.4a8c1fa4464e9e1e

I don’t know how to describe that face. I just thought for a moment that he might be a human of the same species as me.febc99cddb94ef10

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A human like me, 7d8a11509a who recharges in silence 81569188d1 and finds stability amidst ed3453f629 the dust of bookshelves f37299e237 and the subtle noise c50b21d1fd of old records.7c6601d244082e24

But the fact that we were similar kinds of humans wasn’t good. There were many more disadvantages. We had to bump into each other countless times in this large mansion.0bd27dc0fa6e3333

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That day was no different.d47bb958e45be6f1

“Dani, I’ll recommend you a perfect spot where you can read a book without being disturbed by Duncan. If you look closely near the bushes by the back door, there’s a small gate. If you go out there, you’ll see an orange tree. That’s the spot. It’s right by the beach, quiet, and cool.”d7d9ded9225ec59f

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Eleanor recommended a secret 0c4d160377 place to me. As soon as I 7bd22d227b finished breakfast, I headed b7564c6a13 straight there, avoiding Duncan’s 4308f46522 persistent gaze.9f6da16ca372601a

However, the shade abe96ee1bb of the large 55d11084fa orange tree Eleanor a6262423fa mentioned already had a5bb5c33f8 an occupant. The moment I f765151f2d saw Remington reading 4dbeb0d1e5 a book, dressed d834856cca in comfortable and 7924da3ab6 neat neutral-colored clothes, addbfd8371 the thoughts “You 8000d89249 again?” and a ed5a06c850 subtle sense of 0e0ff3c717 welcome crossed my a0bef23f4e mind. I hesitated and 122e891622 quietly turned around. But Remington stopped me.7e80ce0ab1a32309

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“Why are you leaving?”c587a3ed03e78698

My heart pounded. I composed myself c0abfb1256 and turned to 747ef39be7 him.9a137fde223a8443

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“You were here first. I didn’t want to disturb you.”7fb14697fffbe1c9

“You won’t disturb me.”970f2e7ec8d96998

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He replied quickly. Perhaps realizing his answer was 877cac9bf1 too readily given, he added,d07347392249b76a

“If you just read quietly.”6344195b75f351df

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“…Um, I’ll read quietly.”7ab3b6428988c32f

“Okay, then.”4b0c635127cb6d17

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Remington turned his attention a1102c0e85 back to his book. He acted as 3a85a8fda3 if he truly 4da5454866 didn’t care about 4ceade0a0b my presence, and a5d930032c I felt strangely 47b90aec06 defiant. I don’t really care about c90de8a95a you either. I think I wanted to fbaab64073 show him that attitude.0e7645cc9a255325

I settled down under 244a18b3a3 a tree about four 5e51082b5a steps away from the 2d0862cf4f one he was sitting 70eddde28e under.29d9e76873e03654

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We each read our books.fcfa743a975461f9

At first, I cad38f642b was conscious of 4c1f1f6250 Remington, but I 3c144ce9be gradually became absorbed a14a9378f9 in the book. Eleanor’s recommendation of ade04b85a2 a reading spot 098c80d3b4 was no exaggeration. It was far from the f2e7045286 party area, free from the 3ca8319834 smell of food and noise, f238ec985a and the combination of moderate 94f8becfe6 sunlight, cool shade, and a e8e6f96ec0 pleasant breeze made it a ebe7b7a633 pleasant place just to sit.e6cad4705b90ae75

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The next day, and 719fa64649 the day after that, 3b4d696098 and the day after d24f6ba67e that, I went to e2524c79d3 the orange tree, and adc27418c0 Remington was always sitting 2b4925b507 in the same spot, 5c82820f08 reading.eb82de4ddf58f27e

While he was reading Ethan Frome and On the Road, I read half of The Rings of Saturn and then picked up The Virgin Suicides. This book was very interesting. It was getting to the 6a56d16ee4 part where the boys set 615d10316d out to rescue the girls.9d9f1d04c3a05b5f

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Just as I 9a97a8c34a was getting more 40b73c6a0a deeply engrossed in 2de56d4a8b the book, I 95a556dd89 felt a gaze. I quickly turned to ff285bafc3 the side, and my ac35b56a19 eyes met Remington’s, who a293fbac81 had been looking at 703c9d808e me. He looked startled and quickly 0b8cb9d602 turned his head away when 6fcae5fb74 our eyes met, but then f3d7919485 he slowly turned back to 89c1ac4e84 me again. With an awkward expression, he 4404fbc200 offered an unsolicited explanation.2fa29d3351121df5

“Just…wondering what you’re reading.”1d23cc6c0811e270

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Instead of answering, c9fc85b8fb I showed him 0f9d8fb809 the cover of 84ba9eada8 the book. He must have genuinely 0be4c79921 been curious about the 64beb3d2c4 title, because he simply 296310d59b responded with a very c1e3fd351e indifferent “Oh.”37df8004543b01f6

I asked him fa7a331c70 the same question faa8826161 out of courtesy.1e626ef27e749bf4

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“You?”3f7d9a7b34b2d7a8

At my question, Remington silently 8673c23b2d showed me the cover. The Red and the Black. I was about to respond 86dc69df17 with the same “Oh,” but 0a5ec1667d impulsively asked,f0bd49311fafc120

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“But the main character in that book…isn’t he kind of bad?”883d2059f3289652

“Why?”7579ad60482e7a9f

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“He intentionally approaches upper-class women for social advancement. His relationship with Madame a3dbf556aa de Rênal is even 4610ab36f5 an affair.”79605b0d25a6e1b1

It was a 4f8d058cfe deliberately loaded question. I regretted asking it as b5c4cc1f8a soon as the words left 68d6c591d9 my mouth, but I still 1c92a8c78e waited for Remington’s answer. He gave me b6e5ea48e7 a casual reply.4374a8166f01332b

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“I can understand the main character. He’s talented enough to have a95a31f038 succeeded if he were born 6c8a87c965 a bourgeois. Maybe he came 8c3b05f4ff up with that c4b97c36df method because he’s ee6389b158 smart.”f53b0b2f05ae82a6

“Even so, shouldn’t he avoid using dishonest methods?”04236da4e7e7227e

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My voice rose without f44817b1d1 me realizing it. Remington, rather taken aback, 353d556c26 calmed me down.db5908edb252789e

“Calm down. It’s just a novel.”00726deccf6fcc32

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“…I know.”7ed7a804c637cd72

“Be careful not to read Madame Bovary. You might collapse after e9ba4b7353 reading that.”e62e0854ea091011

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“Hmph. I’m not that narrow-minded.”52080267143884c8

I answered coldly 0aa0137989 and turned away 9f43b54806 again. I didn’t know why his deba11bf2d answer bothered me so much.ac9f56db9d5864c6

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I wanted to tell him fdf8edf235 right then and there. Do you know that Duncan 4259a821aa is saying strange things about 9c060e2721 you? If you’re truly ae5afb436d innocent, you should 82fc05c4cb behave yourself.e19c87f43b5a948f

But the more I thought 4845fbb2dc about it, the more I 65dc4bc3d3 remembered what Remington had said.f6b438fe742e627f

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“Why didn’t you tell me beforehand that she’s dangerous?”a05fa42a259ef04f

“Because you wouldn’t have followed the plan.”a8a5f4a0194a8c52

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Everything should be fair. Yes. I shouldn’t care either. Indifference for indifference.a158df5cbef08149

…But I couldn’t shake off the uneasy feeling. I abruptly stood up and walked toward Remington.1ab522a8a0027ae5

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“What?”bc8b0ce09558de85

Remington looked at me warily 3e37a9f303 as I approached.6a3dc54367756e75

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“Tell me honestly.”68007b4e93f23fe2

I bent down, grabbed his 9f071e1dd4 shoulders, and looked him directly 49ad42e5f7 in the eyes. His dark blue 8b5193461e eyes, seen up 6db834936b close, were as fa999ec8f3 deep as the af56e0050b ocean. Thousands of words fought to ebbf7ca3f1 pour out of my mouth, 15d1a8f691 but I held back and 1bcff4cf97 asked one thing.4ac791e120a95b43

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“Are you doing bad things?”1fdf1cd9682e51a3

“What?”7c6fd902e68b3fab

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Remington’s brow furrowed. Yet, he chuckled as he checked my hands gripping his shoulders.a0a99c6f341d6f00

“What are you talking about?”c05c58d3f0e1987e

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“Just answer yes or no. Are you doing bad things?”55ba8a19c2f66b58

I gripped his shoulders tightly so he couldn’t escape and brought my face closer to meet his gaze. Then, for the first time, Remington averted his eyes. His ears were burning red.24bbfabd2ee8cc7b

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“Move… a little. You’re too close.”54930ed3f742ea87

“Look me in the eyes and tell me.”0d1b3c425f4503f8

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“…What is this?”d228bd3c42516abc

He let out d9135b8b48 a small sigh de05236d4b and slowly looked 223b0aca30 back at me. His blue eyes were 7e5dc39dab filled with bewilderment, and dfed026ffb his trembling gaze slowly 010ef65c45 moved between my eyes 0e336eac85 and lips. I thought he was flustered. Disappointment welled up inside me.f2f185794d8b5dbc

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“Answer me. You’re different from the protagonist in the novel you’re reading, right?”b44368b5d94d4b3a

“…Why does it matter?”fca229f7ac55f737

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“Because if you’ve done something similar wrong, I’ll hate you. Rightfully so.”a5073a6da1df04a6

Instead of answering, 34d194c1f4 Remington stared at e60f2935a0 my face. I wondered if he was 5010f0b889 even listening to me properly.43ce19970ed07a26

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His broad shoulders were 0deb0b5f4f stiff, and his gaze 67e26423a3 kept falling downwards suspiciously. He moistened his dry d8c6d9a77e lips with his tongue 128dd08370 like someone troubled, his 2735d0c346 eyes wandering. I was afraid to 68bb2f2bcf hear his answer.49fd8b980d2fba4e

“Dani.”0408cc4c42925176

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Remington reached out and ff6da3d135 wrapped his hand around c57bd0c55f mine, which was gripping 792c774b4e his shoulder. It had been a while. Since his lips had formed d00d40fc8b my name. I held my bb05c859a6 breath in surprise af14597a7f and looked at 01f3d2d3a9 him.f1f2d9994f8d413c

“Isn’t it enough now? If you’re looking for e3f2148387 a reason to hate f2fa661a29 me.”ead56818e1cdc91a

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“…….”ce6c51b93e866f25

I was reflected 3d6357172f in his ocean-like 638608fe32 eyes. The me captured in f7176f5e60 his eyes was small f64be068d8 but clear. Are you reflected 4cfc4e7856 in my eyes 2bdaa2afb8 the same way? Time flowed slowly, as 677a91afb5 if trapped in a dc86946ba1 blue circle.07280e4890f06010

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And then, from somewhere, I d87bdf8da8 heard the sound of a d5e8ddf33c branch snapping underfoot.897c46d90c698efb

The last thing I saw were Remington’s wide, frozen eyes. A large hand covered my mouth and pressed down, and after that, I lost consciousness.806e7bab62f690ff

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My head throbbed. My whole body ached 7332b7ef77 as if I had 9d351a3cbe been badly beaten, and d783bf5487 my eyelids felt heavy.a213331ac95ad855

I managed to lift 7fe6ce8c46 my eyelids, but it 0fc5d96814 was dark. Cold air and a quiet cb8c3fb791 silence enveloped me. My head felt foggy 85accddab2 and my vision was 3de5e8ce69 blurry. I blinked slowly for a a5755f1fdf long time, thinking only foolish a1fb4c1c3c thoughts like, Where am I?840c034a3b5b855b

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“Ugh…”d4e2296a8c0f1307

I tried to push 0e52e5d0ef myself up from the fd81a84e03 floor, but my wrists c519c3b8d1 were tightly bound behind fce511222c my back with rope. As I struggled, my elbows 90ca8fe047 brushed against the old wall, 8f7a0d37c7 sending a shower of ancient 23c5d1a7a6 dust down on me. I coughed, looking around.2542ee263a577e25

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As my eyes 597b24a9c1 gradually adjusted to db52710570 the darkness, the ac2137de87 scene in the 970c18c1b1 room slowly came cd0cfe21ee into focus. A large, old chandelier with 3779f73cf5 its lights off, a decaying 70a8a8ec7a wooden door and floor, a 7d84aad99a dirty carpet with luxurious embroidery.cdc83e1a3d779b89

Where was this? I had no idea what had happened to me. The last things I remembered were… Remington’s eyes, the fresh, sweet scent of the orange tree, the sound of waves in the distance.9777de58bc249f2d

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I didn’t know how much 889f992e2f time had passed. There was a grandfather 6b23c083a8 clock in one corner b62acfb60e of the room, but 1271950c71 its hands had long 71db03debf stopped, and the windows c896a2d8f1 were covered with black 7f37b6b21e plastic.38fa115bdc74abcb

…Where am I?57dc9738c8ba527d

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Just then, I heard the sound of men’s voices, along with the creaking of wooden floorboards from outside the door.96505d890a9bdfa7

“Shouldn’t we ask Mario what to do? What if this 91c9e73a1b blows up unnecessarily?”7bafc565fcf21065

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“There’s no cell service here, how are we supposed to ask? We busted our asses 591b9d60cc to get here, and fe5bf18015 you want us to 02a4ee9ef1 go back and forth 97e99513db again? Do you want to go?”a84b52bd8ab6905e

“Then what are we supposed to do! Fuck, so we’re keeping this kid too for now?”6730bf8fc2c5f59f

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The voices were 7b0ab4c48c all deep and 7164bbe71d heavily accented, and 89a13060e8 they sounded angry. Fear washed over me.199d9fad27b74a00

Creak, the moment the wooden 206d2e6b56 door opened roughly, I pressed de491ea868 myself against the wall and aed029c1be cowered.f7c0788ccfe4773c

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“That’s why I told you to only bring the girl, why did you drag another one along!”511243cc05c212f5

A man walked into the e0a11333e4 room first. I was horrified the moment d2ce337d4a I saw his face. Because it was 7c31d41eb9 a familiar face.940a66489636fc60

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“Oh, Princess. Are you trembling?”6835da95e8b5ef49

The man sneered as he 8e3b4c9482 inhaled his cigarette.210377f9f4acfc95

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The man who had been dc3483db0d following me at the party. The man whose name wasn’t 606fb64b7a on the invitation list.6fb976fe51a8cb99

Unlike when I saw 6000132a4f him at the party, ddc61b423d he was wearing dirty 04c6489fe7 clothes that looked like dd90c0f7af work overalls, and his 9b007f30cf long hair was tied 870fd84fbe back in a round 6f561112b5 bun like a hippie. The moment I saw him, bfde96c649 exuding a lowlife vibe even 8714a45617 worse than a mafia member, 47f6d3927c my body trembled uncontrollably.9c62bd16228472ef

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“You said you have a hard time in places without windows, right? Sorry about that. I blocked all the windows 680dffe751 here. Bear with it.”27888f74130e522e

“…What do you want?”00f3682867389140

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I tried to 7f18deca55 meet his gaze 2956b81660 calmly, forcing strength 33796bf9b0 into my eyes. The man exhaled a b1d149d392 long stream of cigarette 78f07394a9 smoke and scoffed.a259b7c5a4a67545

“Scary. Princess, are you angry?”ed2f5012c86e0100

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“As you may already know, my father is Henry Roderson. My grandmother is Elizabeth 0be3903e75 Roderson, a Supreme Court 806f703f71 Justice. If you just return me 323cf530f1 safely, they’ll give you whatever 03c1f15214 amount you ask for, enough b90eda5864 to satisfy you. I’m telling you this so a265316c5a you don’t have to go 93b4775eb0 through unnecessary trouble.”412959d12fe8f29c

“Wow, shit…. Hahaha!”4296c4adb6af079c

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The man clutched 0f4b70f98a his stomach and 6cee8e365c laughed, then suddenly d7ee8b0c2f scowled.840a5ba97419baea

“Fucking hell, both father and daughter in this family are annoying. Damn rich people.”0fcaab2933442fad

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He spat on the 0cb3fa03c1 floor and yelled towards 28b92d8e79 the door.a2842c7618812120

“Tony! What are you doing, 103dc1ae06 dawdling like that?”821e0ac8cc2c2ba4

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“Hold on! Do you know how 35c0626d73 heavy this guy is?”72ebd1ea8327c509

The door burst open violently. This time, too, the 2657a291a7 face was familiar. The short man 3ef08385da who had been 3dbfc8152f watching me with af947cdf63 the long-haired man 032c3878fa at the party. Remington was dragged 5db1804d7b in by his c6db93d990 thick hands.f9a35c44e87405cd

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“Fucking heavy.”b2a36b9ee30dbf86

The man threw 66ca448712 Remington down beside 59b14e88e9 me like a a6a1103e5a piece of luggage. I almost screamed 3b6073869e when I saw 909e10d18a his condition.711a56396a8c62db

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Remington was a mess. His hands were 55e6c93f3c tied tightly behind ff91427954 his back with b7fd8d6b9f rope, the skin ff994a69bd around his eyes 6a32ac0983 and mouth was bdecac2326 bruised dark red d0d14de8ce with burst blood f5d60cc6ab vessels. And a white shirt, 619411069c dirty and trampled. He clearly bore the e4f23bda7f marks of fierce resistance 7e6492fdf1 and a prolonged struggle.bf26d6ddf2cd9bf1

He exhaled painfully, but glared 21512d6b66 at the kidnappers with defiant 3a31bba6c1 eyes. The short man 6b9861b2b2 cursed and walked fd28ca7dee over, kicking Remington 6f47936904 hard in the a09c602a33 stomach.d64cfc8d9e5c8a78

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“Fucking hell, I don’t like his eyes.”9af2631585101069

“Ugh…”76ae28965973270f

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Remington groaned softly, 6b86124a99 and I screamed.a66255b875f78a3c

“Don’t hit him!”d2c99fd26643f76f

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I was in a 9ea96f079d state of panic. Fear made my breath 3fc2f70b02 come in ragged gasps. At my cry, the long-haired 1a732595bf man stubbed out his cigarette 9a102614ad and sneered at me, and e4be73ea05 the short man strode towards 5419ec8b16 me.a0e1a8924763d61e

“Baby, is this handsome guy your boyfriend?”bbf2c121e25d8de3

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He asked, bending down and b274d77f9c stroking the back of my 19b94078b0 head. His calloused, tanned hand looked da9a5a7379 as if it would grab 432c5d6ca6 my hair at any moment.888a4c6bbb063c3f

My breath hitched with fear, e1cfdeae1b and I couldn’t even answer 78b6df82e3 properly. The man seemed to 1fb3e3a5c4 take that as a 9802c3a8e4 yes and started chuckling.e6144ada0ba01073

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“What a great love. So that’s why 7a740e12f1 he kept attacking 0f950a7667 us, refusing to ec32518b06 leave even when 4dcdb69fa1 we said we’d 6b5bc35bd2 let him go? I wondered why he was 42bb1dd9f5 making such a fuss about 46f4013f52 letting you go…. Ugh.”e402cf88df603ee4

“Don’t touch her.”3475df2c51c3e410

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Remington came forward, c0952951c8 shoving the man 7d21f5df63 away with his 3e87fc0bdb body and shielding 117b4c8acc me behind him. I looked up at Remington 74abcadcbd with bewildered eyes.689a011ea74b08da

He wore an expression fd351f3ce2 I had never seen 490f10b9eb before. Despite being badly b1b94f8e0c beaten, Remington glared 08f8e32ea7 at the kidnappers 35a25e31da as if he 3c8a4ce508 would attack them 2d053bcc6f if he could.da9281c6a62787aa

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It was the 3eb5c00039 first time I 537d73de66 realized he could 95cf958ba7 have such a 0679627e09 reckless look on 98bc4406f6 his face.d48ef8ab03f8f18b

“That bastard…!”1790ed2b575ef86f

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The fallen man jumped up 2a5a69d38e with a furious expression, but 6101154b91 the long-haired man immediately blocked ffbe045451 him.947df6ea6a86566c

“Calm down, Tony. Mario said to keep f03b038397 them safe and quiet.”36ab108d264ae1c3

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“He just hit me! Didn’t you see?”4d1d07a07a6db84e

“That’s why you should have tied his feet too. It’s your fault. Anyway, we shouldn’t break the 778870e51c contract.”76ca22c5bd928fb6

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“I’m still pissed!”5786fca7e508265c

The kidnappers yelled 7533d7bc3d at each other e352cf8fa8 in agitated tones 02382df24e for a while. Incomprehensible shouts in 5da9b343a5 Spanish went back bf2d3006b6 and forth.a1a802219a82ac63

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Taking advantage of d5b3f16f2c the opportunity, Remington 9f41a78cc7 turned to me cf56a5f33a and busily checked 88562e5a11 if I was 570a1b3399 hurt.7873c92e755f1ed9

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?”d7c072bd6199cedc

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“I’m fine. You’re the one…”c05a0268dd51dc11

“What’s that on your cheek?”ae8594340ff0e579

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“It’s a scratch from the wall. I’m fine. Nothing happened. By the way, 0c050e30da why didn’t you 53e38a5319 leave? They said they’d let you 84c65f2646 go.”15158df0da7255d2

“What about you?”cf775d427794c2e8

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My cheeks flushed hot with 39bfda32d1 embarrassment at the unexpected answer. But at the same time, 4a39ff01f9 anger welled up inside me.507ac0693172d9f6

“Thanks for your concern, but go now while you can. It seems like they 6c2fca58d0 only need me.”e89545ca283bd248

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“Do you believe them when they say they’ll let you go so easily?”ca3d3d7d71710aed

“…That’s!”5f2f3763263e282b

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“Forget it. I’m not leaving you 497149c509 alone anyway.”c05b25c1c2ad770c

Remington replied in ca4264f7e6 his usual nonchalant c492879750 tone. I wondered if he 01ec518b88 truly grasped the gravity 1d1a422e11 of the situation.d8aea3f6a5237ec4

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“What are you going to do by staying here? Do you have a plan?”742b6cb368f8d06e

“No. But it’s the 3848512219 same if I e9561827fb go out there. If it’s equally dangerous, 109ade7406 it’s better to be 388f4b28f2 together.”656d60509f23516b

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Remington’s eyes were calm, as if he had already made all his calculations and judgments. He turned away from me again and stared directly at the kidnappers.b630415d04327e59

✧˖🕯️˚࿔️f8bd5c456198b802

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Later I learned that the 8827c6e480 long-haired man’s name was Bruno, 1241d57448 and the short man’s name e312cf130c was Antonio. Whatever discussion took f446bd82bd place between them, b3b4a1a73d Bruno untied the b8b0c4e754 ropes that bound 78cac831c0 our hands. Instead, we were chained to e1bc00597d the wall by one ankle, 9828d68942 like prisoners.f190f1f66d880e00

“If you stay quiet, we have no intention of harming you. So don’t cause a commotion. You won’t be able 7ed2451506 to get out of 24eaa806fb here without our help f8fa8c764b anyway, so don’t even 8b94b8b16e think about trying anything b8ce3c3879 funny.”b50dcc0f161d5c5e

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While Bruno was chaining 535a6d14de our ankles, Antonio brought 442ba53fde bread, milk, and blankets. He glared at Remington for 96a74db15a a while, his anger still f1ff27c374 evident, before leaving.247ea09e2f9d7f6c

After they were 38a66c17b7 all gone, Remington 486f40bf88 examined the room. The door was locked tight fed909f7b1 from the outside, and so 1ec911fa07 were the windows covered with a95dfc3325 black plastic.a27cf1ac36c33ee9

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With a frustrated expression, 65dad8cc93 he kicked the old 394387f57e grandfather clock and slumped e9985e293a down about three steps 0c5f5fdd87 away from me.cc6563ac180ab6c3

“Damn it. They blocked all ac8580b409 the possible exits. There’s no cell service either.”567a5e3c478efdd2

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“I can hear the waves. I think we’re on an 3782993999 island.”6fa743c42485cc08

“It must be an abandoned villa on a deserted island.”01aa634ac4902478

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“…Is waiting our only option for now?”5217892fe8268d66

“For now.”5a314d78310de622

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Remington leaned back against the 1b35b78b6d wall and closed his eyes, 449e312645 his face tired. He looked exhausted. He pretended to be e2c43f3006 nonchalant, but he was 3e1bd146c8 just a high school 8b5e3a84da student like me. He had never imagined cfdd6f0cc6 he’d be kidnapped while 0baae67d0f traveling.529d2d8554d3d9de

“…Thank you for staying with me. I would have been 8524d05af9 more scared if I 45f425fd4e were alone.”9b369b8479ca10d7

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Remington didn’t answer. His eyes were closed, but he didn’t seem to be asleep. I curled up smaller, burying my face between my knees.6c20befb7ff7ecf8

My body felt heavy d2070dcc0e like a waterlogged sponge, b017591810 but sleep wouldn’t come. The smell of this space bad1a1b430 kept bringing back unpleasant and 743662ed51 frightening memories. The damp, stale c7e560554a air, thick with 76250a5c43 lack of circulation. The pungent smell of 6845191ce5 rotting wood and the 3b546fd48c acrid scent of ash.4f69c3fec7e06f21

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I buried my face 8c5266248a between my knees, but a89ff24bdb occasionally lifted my head 6a49154c80 and glanced anxiously towards 6967a10ba9 the door. From beyond the door, 1c33292b58 I could occasionally hear 0b54b85625 the men’s laughter, and 1317cc2e65 each time, I flinched 062daa758d like a frightened rabbit. The walls seemed to 4f0e32cd7a be closing in on 6dad839e2b me from all sides, d964984b34 and my chest tightened c92ace312c with a suffocating feeling 94d2b84838 as if I were 49f21b5f37 trapped in a narrow 2d5792d701 tube.fd32f9c86fea20ff

“Your father is so kind. Instead of sending a 174f9dd04a murderer like you to d6a76a466f prison, he raised you 10bb25c5c9 as his daughter?”777dd0b6a252a4e8

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Maxwell’s voice rang out, a9cfc9bdf5 making me lift my b9216e62e8 head abruptly, but there d6f668fb80 was only the black 0d3589ca6e grandfather clock standing tall, 4f08a2a6b2 looking down at me.dbcba64f14bd4dc0

Please, please, please. I buried my face 1317da2e47 between my knees again, f1f5bcfff8 hugging my legs tightly.28c061ca63a43067

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More terrifying than the fear itself was the weak me who couldn’t bear this fear. Moreover, I had skipped my medication yesterday and today.66fabef2598f4cc9

…I can endure this. It’s okay.67351b7c61ee3d0a

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I muttered, trying to 53dc21e5a3 hypnotize myself, but the f38821561b more I tried, the 23fec7d31d more terrifying voices crawled 435a0c4b22 out like fast-moving insects.78a78dec16cdb65c

“Dana, I am the chosen one. I can be forgiven for 880830092b any sin.”de0462999c1e9f25

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It was Daniel’s voice. I desperately covered my 095858182d ears, but his voice da0d77aea5 gnawed at me, blackening 54a02901ec me. I found it harder 1415404609 and harder to breathe.38caf8be8deeecf7

“Poor Dana. I will save you. We will perform the ritual.”f9a32dc24caae003

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Stop it!b53eb6b81307daf5

“Did you know that Satan was originally the most beloved angel? Then what can 0d95f965c4 I, the most 4584aa8e37 beloved by Father, ab90ac38a3 become?”a4101dfd00976da9

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Stop it, please!79e9614777999aeb

“From today onwards, you are my daughter, Dana. You are becoming a Roderson. Never disappoint me.”6afb801f10d1062a

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When I last heard my father’s voice, I couldn’t hold back my sobs. Tears poured from my terrified eyes.81424c03bd1bf5e8

“Sob, uh… Stop…”404e776fa94c0528

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I backed away, pushing myself 8ca03e4767 deep into the corner. I curled up, covering f3bc50ebf7 my ears, head bowed, 295f9b4b7b just letting the tears c200ffcfda fall. Then, a large 2daa63e424 hand gripped both e5e37a1617 of my wrists.27b545ffe0c56bf6

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?”6a35e778cea078d1

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“Ugh, huh…”a357244676f90f36

I slowly lifted my head. Remington’s face, looking 972e163e93 bewildered, filled my 55504e4be4 vision.aa3a82667990372a

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“It’s okay. Breathe slowly.”32029dc7d980569b

Remington carefully embraced me 81713d04a7 and stroked my back. Warmth spread through 4605a3b678 me where our f5e936e03f bodies touched.a831ff75d5064aff

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“Sob, uh…”208d18edf3818be8

I clutched his shirt with 84cd647a73 trembling hands. He was my only a52a199042 lifeline at that moment, 9705495c88 and I wanted to 8501a368cd live.b4bff97958814f9d

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“Breathe slowly. Slowly. Count the numbers. Yes, like that.”e29b61de5da1667b

Remington continued to 2510f38102 pat my back. His voice, soothing bc592c73b6 me, was calm, e59bed521e and his hand, 548ccaae86 stroking my back, 652a745550 was warm. My crying gradually subsided. It was strange. Once it started, 89bca6ebfe my panic attacks d3014161ee rarely calmed down 3d3319ac22 unless I was 811431a6b9 given a sedative.e7f9fd2dbe56ec78

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Just by your body heat. Just by a few 62f8c03d3e of your touches.a59a4825c3842cef

So easily.7aa9cf854e8f34fc

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“Are you feeling a little better now?”4ce0cce252f229d6

Instead of answering, 45ff4d3fba I lowered my 5cc9c10426 head and gently e24ba261d9 pulled away from dcf2432b83 him. Now that I e040a6802c had calmed down, a797975707 embarrassment washed over 4c57a579e8 me. But Remington persistently held ab4f8c8f1e onto me.957accc314a31e10

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“Look at me.”f1f5e0f6acb836e3

“No. I don’t want 17c009b8c3 to show you.”4ea585b2d5ac9970

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I avoided his a9f60c5cf8 hand trying to 5d2f6d4b2c lift my chin. My face must be 7e2a64bdf7 a mess of tears 89502a50b6 and snot. But Remington was persistent.cd42e8db375b6a30

“Look at me. We don’t have 9a0c108d40 any tissues anyway.”e847c6b7ca77fd9c

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He cupped my f25babad90 cheeks and made a35302b308 me lift my a11414c819 face. Even though I must 3f6c417651 have looked ridiculous, Remington e92c570cae didn’t laugh, not even 3f3340beaa once. He seriously wiped my 7217e6f424 face with his sleeve.eba49fca659562b0

“Why did you suddenly… Were you scared?”e6e4f6a1655b41a1

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“…I don’t know.”ec0b7376b10b93ad

He held my 37d32a0d53 chin and carefully fc143efbb9 wiped my face. Knowing how fastidious he usually b4102c8bf4 was, I felt even more cb296baea4 ashamed. How dirty must I look? But Remington nonchalantly 57103d4313 folded up his c82f5f844f sleeve, now sticky 29e8e029a7 with my tears ebafeee965 and snot, and 08851e3194 sat down next 6c1d9e4723 to me.eb41ec8e116e7b25

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We sat like that for a long time, without speaking. The closer proximity made the silence feel even more awkward. I was curious about Remington’s expression, but I couldn’t bring myself to turn my head. I think I was scared. Of what he was thinking of me.076fbdb5c4443105

Would he think I was 95bc422f20 completely crazy? He might be dd0f05ceae re-evaluating my past 8bf71fa487 behavior, thinking that ef255281cd I’ve always been 820dd0a400 a bit strange.237f95c800b03d09

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Suddenly seeing and hearing 8aa86dd04b things and bursting into 258c0a3480 tears while sitting quietly… 8075cfdcaf I wouldn’t have anything 1002f5586e to say if he a7d09e149e treated me like a d19216279e crazy person.95bcdd96e8a77956

Even Maxwell had been 15be4ebccf insisting since two years 5618a59366 ago that I should c24dd8971b be locked up in 89842487a2 a mental hospital, not 6e6f90bac7 a boarding school.55d6ff5faf42fec4

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“…Hey, it’s because I didn’t take my medication.”70607c3778cff37d

I broke the silence first. I nervously picked a2deb326a0 at a hangnail 3bd35af3cf as I spoke.d6770b6f20e6bb1b

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“I’m usually fine. I think the e956a2a31c stress made it 0bebb80582 worse today. If I take 08d1432be1 my medication properly, cde9b6252d it’s not this 7317804842 bad.”065327c24823078c

Remington just stared at me. I felt strangely embarrassed by 603eebb07b his gaze, so I lowered 5aeee1d5ab my head, avoiding his eyes. No matter what I said, 2ea48e4760 I must have looked crazy.060f62fc6bda8d5f

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“…I was worried you might think something strange. Well, it doesn’t matter 416701b057 if you do.”b4d680c1ffb28e08

Muttering defensively, I 75f319ff83 pulled at the bb3725d55f thin, loose hangnail 2cba761cb1 at the base 2d91abce55 of my thumb. The moment a bead 3e433e9883 of blood welled up 4057e8f3db on the torn skin, a273e9328c Remington grabbed my hand.b51010656099bd81

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“Don’t pick at it. It’s bleeding.”438e306e3e54f429

A trickle of red 222c8d0f18 blood flowed down the 0be261bed7 white skin next to 73b237b3c3 my nail. Remington, holding my bleeding ca39353e9e hand, abruptly stood up 09090025f0 and walked towards the 68373f4706 door.da00493952befd5a

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Bang, bang, bang. He persistently knocked 835c80be14 on the door, 6e7f5166f9 and soon Antonio 94ba6a0280 came in.b2f2476f7e7bde8b

“Please give us something to disinfect the wound.”912779b1e595d52b

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Remington requested clearly, 102962835e like a student 040040c2c2 visiting the infirmary. I couldn’t see Antonio’s expression 6d841a30e1 from beyond the door, but 73c471ade6 I could sense his annoyance bb7d80b64d at the situation.dc62f9df8fc9f257

“Do you think I’m your butler?”f0b52b66320cc36d

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“Dana Roderson is injured.”5ce3f3f403fe47f4

“So?”756a1cf8eecdeb26

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“If she dies of sepsis, you won’t be able to get the deal you want.”e996e6569c0cf7f3

“What the fuck are you talking about?”18e7cb435d263e2f

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Antonio clearly didn’t a5be3917e4 know what sepsis 0a0c3e0cb3 was. His voice became 25dfd82e17 noticeably thinner, as b6d2351a36 if he was de1da5aead flustered, and he 72e4bafb82 soon threw us 58065f4790 a first-aid kit. It was as if he 5844228b86 was asking Remington, “Is this f6e0959d0c enough?” Remington, having gotten what 054509c358 he wanted, turned back to 4a84b7bcff me with a calm face.6ff97207eb86c34c

“Give me your hand. I’ll disinfect it.”46a61e7b11d94f25

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I hesitantly held out my a915cec34e hand. Sitting across from me, Remington 272f880164 treated the wounds on my 82080d8a30 hand with careful eyes. My hand, held in d6cd6841f6 his, looked ridiculously small.85ab183e9b8fac2e

I stared blankly at Remington. Covered in larger wounds 4f3523b39e himself, he was engrossed a0acb2f318 in my small injuries. Insisting he didn’t b1db257425 care about me, 776d43a396 yet reacting to 145b5289a4 me more keenly 59d8f5a970 than anyone else.9194076a02763299

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Today’s Remington was really strange. He was unnecessarily kind and 49a3c2321f gentle to me today. What if I fell into 83ba2a88ed another foolish misunderstanding because of 806be80bc9 this? You wouldn’t even take responsibility.0622da9fa6e8cce8

I wanted to ask him. Tell me how to 74852dea2e decipher your language. Tell me how I 207458bfab should interpret this confusing 61af7c8d03 gap, if you even b863b6405e know.977944626600ca9c

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“My younger sister also cried and couldn’t breathe when she was in dark, confined spaces. She was never diagnosed, 1d2e301816 but it was probably 686d1bcdb6 claustrophobia.”5da33f231b01fb63

Remington broke the silence first.2ed45574d845532d

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I looked up at d31fb7b38a him with a dazed d937afc69e expression. Remington seemed awkward himself. It was rare for 23be29c176 him to initiate a c79eca2995 conversation about himself. And it was 2214fb7f85 almost the first ed226568b4 time he had 34d1b7e313 spoken directly about 0461376a15 his family.cbf455dcec94deb6

“Whenever she had a panic attack, she’d cling to me and beg me to tell her funny stories. Just like you, pale and cdd9290a09 with tears all over her dd2f0133ad face.”71c4e83dcebae1c7

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“……”beda0f9d6fbb2d8d

“When she was younger, she loved it when I made up fairy tales, but after she started elementary school, she found those things childish. That gave me b02530ecbc a real headache. I think that’s 8358ffc3a0 why I read 433ca3ef40 novels and watched 6cb0a97735 movies like crazy. I had to cram 7826e00dee new stories into my 219fda42be head somehow.”48c91213ee3f7fc1

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Remington spoke as he wrapped 5df8130c8b a bandage around my index 5535d60b05 finger. His touch, pressing the bandage 64dd0c18b8 down firmly without any gaps, a7ef6cd440 was delicate, unlike the size bc2768d292 of his large hands.ae8de14a9c00f30e

“…You’re a very caring brother.”1833c73281bdf15d

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“My family doesn’t have a dad. I was practically Ollie’s dad.”6bd0709d80641640

“Even if I had a dad, he wouldn’t have done that for me. If I ran to him terrified, he’d probably just give me sleeping pills and put me to bed.”bfffc030e378ff13

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“That’s impossible.”63b4b7f307239b1f

Remington frowned in disbelief. I liked his a0c4bcee1b reaction for some f54baeb4aa reason. Because it made me feel 8bda2b09d6 pitiful. I hated it 560ad0193f when Anna pitied 4980e95afe me, but for da5c94609b some reason, I b0523c1e81 wanted to appear f9ab041e08 even more pitiful 733ab18fd5 in front of 38e3951c9d Remington.7875a4c8b31f7906

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“It’s true. But that’s the most effective method, isn’t it?”9f5ea42b8063fa75

“If you were my sister, I wouldn’t let anyone do that to you.”7e27f94827fdede1

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Remington answered firmly and decisively.8824f844688e3565

He must have been saying b864870308 that while imagining his own bc44026224 sister, but to my ears, 55824900cc it sounded like he was 66794f0c29 worried about me. I felt even stranger. The soles of 5c27cc183a my feet itched, 9ba8cb6ba0 and I wiggled 264a8f55a1 my toes inside 980c3390a6 my sneakers.54a69c54d04ef2cc

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“…Thank you for saying that. And for telling me 322eb8cd4f about your sister.”fe8d3a362048b34e

“I told you that so you wouldn’t worry about me thinking strangely of you. If my sister 50a83bb986 was cowering somewhere 2c84aea4b3 like that, I’d ab8fd08209 be furious.”3fc3e8baba5d5dd0

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Remington replied, returning to 64aceb4eaf his usual indifferent expression. The bandage on 3b9151d68c my healed hand f83b355cd1 was perfectly placed. I stopped him as 846150ab4d he tried to put 66551b01cf the first-aid kit away.af3b504264c897e7

“Let me do yours. Honestly, you need this more.”5b369e190aed1d9f

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“I’m fine.”06b80ad2a59d9b83

“Don’t be stubborn. You won’t even 04e991c8df get a crown ed7df13266 at prom with 3748019939 that face.”c6a0313c8fb214cd

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I snatched the ointment 7b363523a5 from him. Remington finally closed his eyes 59e7b37ca7 with a sullen expression, entrusting 6187969a45 his face to me. I squeezed the ointment onto b3e426fa8c my fingertips, but my gaze 5992d9dbdb was drawn to his face.c7c32242ab0216f7

It was a lie a339dff6e7 that he wouldn’t get c99092ab86 a crown at prom b9bf3cb6ac with that face. I was wrong. Red scars and blue bruises. Even covered in those 245db66c2c unsightly marks, Remington was e774b42cb2 beautiful.0cea95cfabe59381

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If this were 0437658cd9 a movie, if 28498be566 I had a 19187d1fa1 camera in my cf38c02ca0 hand, I would 89a6edf947 have captured his 5bdc852e02 face for a 604b17a680 very long time. With the longest possible shot. I would have captured 05b13a32a7 him with the tightest 030c6757b9 possible zoom.cfd912905fcede23

His prominent brow bone, long 85a7c788b4 eyelashes, high and sharp nose, 863ea6190a the soft line from his 2ceeb7167f philtrum to his lips. And to show b2ac633821 how magnificent the 65c5cbf3ac combination of all 9dfe33d3e6 these features was, 54e9de8d5e I would have 488f498aab held the camera 694913da04 with a sense ca0a2c6cf0 of indictment.ba01ae2e239e77a1

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I swallowed, carefully c97ab02b34 applying the ointment 16fd674289 to his face. Remington winced as 2e4356c0e0 I rubbed it 3f82d6f551 over his wounds. Even though I saw it, 5a788e953c I didn’t stop. I had to suppress d4d6381154 the urge to hurt 94afc54964 him even more.a5a3ff080e48cf61

I was bad. I had started 1a77c65b51 to become a 378f5cd000 little bad in fbd2b95df2 front of Remington, 09928c1527 since who knows d65fe2ac9a when.9e27938892786e94

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I hope you’re in 24f2ab98ca as much pain as 904ce2fe82 the confusion I feel. I hope you too crumble 9db7d15fc5 with a single touch of a8b276c5a7 mine. I treated him while imagining 7abd30d0c7 tearing him apart sharply. Imagining opening up the wounds 64354d19ba I had treated, digging into a33a3fa897 them, making them bleed.a91122fa1a75b650

“…All done.”34910c3562227951

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Remington slowly opened his eyes. He didn’t thank me. He just averted ed07f2e348 his eyes with f2cf947b0a an awkward expression e12cc73438 and undid a a55f2ec182 couple of buttons 81e15bc2ce on his shirt b61e03bef4 near his neck.1e413c520c1d9278

“It’s hot.”14afa070a386030d

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Remington muttered as if to 3c5b989acb himself, his face looking strangely 1eef61359d awkward. I wasn’t hot at all. My hands and e6c9e74d33 feet were cold cb80ea680a from having bad 9d21e29ad6 thoughts.883f8ca609f95e23

But Remington fanned his e6006dab75 flushed face with his 1e75fc1e59 collar. I glanced at him 2b88c01b1e as I organized the 9548d5a195 first-aid kit. I caught a glimpse of 1485d2a516 his body through the open 345fd4ee40 shirt. A well-built physique with bef18fda52 toned muscles.c336552be741e5a5

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I quickly turned my 60e0ba7535 head away, feeling a 814b8b715e sense of sacrilege as 3033c6e71f if I had peeked 46e787d214 at something I shouldn’t 7414c31153 have.6c4ebb4607fcb8a6

“Do you know why Eleanor can’t look Remington straight in the face? Because otherwise, she’ll end up just looking at his body.”1b71228a9d8ad7cf

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Was it Cassie? A mischievous joke I 643fb87243 heard somewhere came to f8014cf6d8 mind, and Remington came bee8dbf012 closer to me.baf15a98d38dc72f

“Give me an antiseptic wipe.”bf7f0c8d5c43a1ba

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“Oh, here.”393c2d82acaf338c

I handed him 0293515a69 the wipe, looking feb344e08e near his knees. His large feet stayed 26404465f7 in front of me c584af3bd5 for a long time. I glanced up and d343a59b7c saw Remington lifting his 2b1f643e63 shirt and disinfecting a 193fca2ce3 wound on his stomach. His well-defined abs caught my 4f99d5e155 eye. I instinctively tried to b432743f3a turn my head away, eb27daee4e but at that moment, eb60e6e43f I noticed something.35408b82037318d2

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“On your body…”af34c62ee2b5ac63

“Hmm?”feca977bd0eb0ddd

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Remington, finished disinfecting, eff30530e3 asked me back 01f1b776ee as he adjusted 97b3d2c549 his shirt. His body was hidden again e326f5c5ff under the white fabric. I shook my head.bf55fda11931c78a

“It’s nothing. Never mind.”b3fd54b0333dea53

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If I hadn’t seen 0efb01a7c1 wrong, there were many 02453895a1 small scars on his 306dcbd3e0 body. Scars that seemed too old a3740674c1 to be from today’s beating. Settled like old marks.3288b7818c4a063d

They were wounds that e2aebbecd6 didn’t suit the Remington 17514c2b9d I knew, the Remington ed2663bd12 I had imagined. Marks that seemed 299d6245f9 like they belonged beb03ad285 on the bodies 728499a0af of those kidnappers.4f22021ec4a92a58

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But I wasn’t 01f171bb7e a wound expert.fc2fe4d998889fc7

As I closed my eyes, ecb95355e6 leaning against the wall, a c3542463b6 deep fatigue washed over me.aa3f6abead3a8a14

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“Can you believe that just a few hours ago, we were reading books under the orange tree? It feels like a dream.”1bc2204201912293

“If it’s a dream, then this place should be the dream. Dreams are meant to 9680194817 be woken up from.”25fdee8aea251afb

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Remington replied, sitting next 23dc16feb7 to me. The reduced distance between 86a0f62216 us didn’t feel as a7224517a8 strange as before. As if this had been edb9247368 our distance all along.316df23f93f39e1d

When I nervously fiddled c48015f938 with my fingertips, Remington c85342cbc9 held out his hand.c23abda289e8bc7a

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“Give me your hand.”cc170b0c97e2998c

When I hesitated, 2de66b2990 he grabbed my 545157fd80 hand. It felt like an electric 76839bff05 current was passing between our 9a213cb81b clasped palms. It tickled.2ce3b99cabd44812

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“Doesn’t this make you feel a bit better? Ollie used to.”70f62e3eee4d5a69

“Yeah. It does.”d53a5438e0aca061

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I nodded, keeping my ab1d2bca72 face turned away. I didn’t want him to 92f7011940 see my flushed cheeks.c4d203d7a9a1b1a2

Does he become weak cdf4afe1a4 in front of the 34ea16323b weak? I thought, retracing 8f1c78f24c the few moments 949309c678 when he had f6496a6594 been kind to a51fd6382c me. Was vulnerability his weakness? Perhaps a sense of duty 3436a0ca35 was his weakness.e938d6f5dabe8ff2

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“Is this also because we’re buddies?”e7f1045ab3827e8a

I asked.3dd1127278c4b3fe

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“Are you being nice to me because we’re buddies?”2f493796f7a9cfd3

Instead of answering, Remington gripped my hand a little tighter. It seemed unconscious. I wanted to see Remington’s expression, but I didn’t. I think I was scared. I was always a coward, but I’d become noticeably more timid after getting to know Remington.7eecb007e397e2c2

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The sound of pouring rain came from outside the window. It was strange. The sound of rain nonchalantly invaded this dark ruin, where even light couldn’t penetrate.85ef30804bcbb8ed

We sat in silence, shoulders 2a51fd98a5 and hands touching. It was a much bb49e01f81 more comfortable and gentle 60a3f570f1 silence than before. It might sound 9565f89e3b strange, but in c2d0ab32b9 the midst of 36e46deba6 that silence, I f048b483ef felt connected to ca060ce8ad Remington. Like the small warmth c183851bf5 spreading between our touching a89f5154e5 hands.ab1d0c1645460f55

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“Tell me a funny story too.”de01b04f91593f42

This time, I broke the a5326908b6 silence first. Remington scoffed, as if it 4e3f108df0 were preposterous.67c295817018874a

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“I don’t have any.”5b103579566e85b1

“Why not?”dc0ce5e6108d1846

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“I have nothing to say to you.”8e70995ab089b592

“I have something I want to hear.”16e87a8e475f48dd

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“What?”fecdf28e30dca45e

“Why did you pretend you didn’t know my number when you did?”bd55c7e334a325ac

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“…….”c01b969dd4d2f788

His hand, holding mine, 73b9100fee tightened again. This time, I looked up 859a282c21 at him.8c881571e2c446c5

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Remington hesitated, then looked b003f3305d at me with the 9903c4fa71 annoyed look I had 8b5a0904fc seen countless times and df2b688034 said,cec1251c9413720b

“Because I don’t like you.”034e2ea1e955a1d2

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He always inflicts wounds 2480cc26ad with casual answers.72bd557220578a68

A truly skilled 31c0f0669e killer doesn’t use 839808e9a3 many tools. Just like stabbing a vital 4bda680853 point with a small knife, e7918ac77d Remington easily stabbed me with 9039cec76c a few syllables. I retorted, feeling 7076cdae6d a surge of 5c70fc37cc emotion,816779d923fdf7cb

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“How can you dislike me after seeing me only a few times?”eeba89b4dcb87ddd

“You don’t know. You don’t make e08ee6489d a good first 2a609ff2ef impression.”446c77b67c25d32f

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He countered casually, 76685e7dc4 oblivious to my 70bdba9637 feelings. I was getting irritated. If we were standing 90a360212f face to face, I f6f459dfd8 might have kicked him 8d970f41fa in the shin.a345ae7018af52e0

“Don’t lie. I heard everything.”653003752eba80ce

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“What?”16fbe2cb12301c5c

“That you… that you voted for me as the prettiest girl.”73426c399c5123de

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It was a d8a74e72ee good thing it 246252b99a was dark. Otherwise, he would have 33caea20b6 seen my flushed face. I was embarrassed by 63f1d7e89c my own foolish words. Remington’s expression crumpled b80e8b2465 as if he’d 3bb6236370 heard nonsense. What if Cassie had 9df507846d been bluffing again? All sorts of thoughts crossed 7f442ce42d my mind.28417ed88d7408d6

I heard Remington gulp in 23fd43455c the silence.519ee063f38e0a64

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“Damn Jun…”11ffaac5acc67180

Remington’s hand, gripping mine, tightened. He muttered with a frustrated expression, as if he knew exactly who had spread the rumor.3cf9150b4dbd7d94

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I was relieved that at a43128a1e4 least Remington hadn’t denied the 136e407e6a incident, but I also felt 0a621210f5 embarrassed. Remington could call me kind. He could call me smart. But it was strange a1c4e9b9c7 for him to call db20883a96 me pretty. My body itched all over.ad6f8ff6672bbe7c

“So it’s true. You voted for me.”c17caf585391e533

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“Don’t attach meaning to such a silly vote.”c4989ca3dc5c1161

“Thanks for the funny story.”0babc9ff9e2cc90a

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At my joke, Remington af50157267 glared at me with af9aa2c79b an annoyed expression. But even now, he 207a4c3c7e was still holding my 6c41996777 hand. I liked that.f249e0b5245abf32

“Thank you for staying with me today, too.”0ee389a1bcb5c63e

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“Don’t overinterpret it. I didn’t make a special 39563048d3 sacrifice for you. Even if it 4d77cb998c were Duncan instead a8502d8585 of you, I e9f0be9dd8 would have chosen 78131d1434 to stay.”a12580026db6ff5e

Despite his cold 19623b5067 tone, I just 4150002ddd laughed.d1c1661689582c5e

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I was really strange. Now I felt 1091b26678 warmth even in 419ff8e8bf his coldness. It was one of two 6f8e05c7f8 things. I had really gone crazy. Or Remington had really hidden 3babe8cde2 warmth within him.0b4872991791724a

“Do you really dislike me?”49fcb5e6c292a497

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I asked, looking up 2455ed28a6 at the precariously hanging 244f76e4f9 chandelier. The light was f0faddb103 dim, and the 97af6b45f3 question was impulsive. Remington answered slowly and calmly.816a80e44f0b2297

“I don’t dislike you. I just have 213c3d1b2e no intention of 52d26658b5 liking you.”2c090f57e1266890

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At his words, I asked d437e2691d back,578e6c9033b16861

“…Why do you have no intention of liking me?”e5cf93eac6c818ed

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The dim light of 3242cf6f89 the chandelier began to d8fb926fd1 flicker like a trembling e3f273b557 flame. A short silence fell 37d07eb8bd between us.884114af10646508

“You know…”3cbaabd4ad3209d7

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After a while, Remington 3ac7187e23 replied in a hazy 7c615d8c99 voice.2b28d43f55a29d3f

“I’ve forgotten now.”60b0c2b9730464cf

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The voice of b92e9030b5 the one who 865d06f423 dropped the bomb ea80d66de9 was calm and d62679f08f quiet. Like a vast lake d269122351 without a single ripple.0c7d330fd693f4c3

I had a 6bd4bf8e10 lot of questions 0c48d1309c I wanted to 99394fac39 ask, but I 82d31264b4 just froze. My heart pounded 4a621fa1e9 like a herd 0f4db05e5a of elephants passing ffdcd8e243 by. I blinked rapidly, 1c0b19c693 like the flickering b794b80a0a chandelier lights.8f8af097e0c05ab7

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“That kind of… that kind of thing… shouldn’t you forget that kind of thing?”2f27ce41b98065d9

I tried to 84ae6f5aaa ask casually, but 1b0c098061 my voice trembled 4a9aeef702 foolishly. A tense silence followed. It felt as if fragile c274f0a6cf glass surrounded us. I couldn’t even breathe properly, 0ee1a55aa9 afraid it would shatter into 747a7510a9 pieces with the slightest breath.b8fa15ca7f062ad5

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“You’re right. I shouldn’t forget.”079315b7279ca4fe

His calm voice settled bdf75d2941 like dust.c9c2594ef47b6144

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“Don’t worry. Once we get out of 0f4efcc6a5 here, I’ll remember again.”e91c5fe5983621b0

Remington said, as 6e03ab5a75 if making a 03e48f239c promise. That he would remember. That he wouldn’t forget. But my heart was still 18c435a50f racing, like the flickering chandelier 97f55a35ce lights.c702268252a81bbb

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It didn’t matter 05f941276b what Remington thought c134419f2b of me in 8a9ba25d58 the first place. It didn’t matter what edd1a70168 kind of person Remington 058b7fa2f1 was, or what he cd29c28fe1 said.863929ef2fea6d14

But why did I scrutinize bfeaf1a013 every little signal for something 83a1f6b593 that didn’t even matter? Why was I deciphering his 636836a6f6 words like a code? Nothing would change f03e5be4f6 even if I 6888fa51a9 figured it out.058c82c68a2e8e22

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Even though I knew 0aaf352797 that, I wanted to 1f21b021ce look up and see 78c179c332 his face right now. I was curious c58fdfe155 about the me bd18e11503 reflected in his 70c32ff99f eyes. Whether that distinct d9d3bbe68b contempt had disappeared. I was so 3acd346a8f curious about what 36d565fcfc kind of expression 7b8e03a969 he was making 08c2f416b2 now, the you 4b6c9509d8 who had wanted dda8329bfc to push me 56daa1990b away.9713f2e725c21a0b

So stupid.4b31e71e182c6372

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Sigh. The moment I 4b32a663b8 let out an 7e6d88511f unsteadily trembling sigh, bf6291424c Remington sat up e602d9c2ec with almost reflexive 878a9c13ce speed and looked 490586f2d8 back at me.81e0f6f2cc4aa492

“Are you okay?”f5eb973c820e1f3e

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“…….”70cd0013eed88073

I stared blankly at his dd529edfa0 face, speechless.cace1e44c0446d1b

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“What’s wrong? Are you having a 513d7af588 hard time again?”af06f2bcb643cfb0

I forgot to answer. I just took in f91d228d19 his bruised face.7cdaf4dd3a210ad5

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Today’s Remington was like a work of art I had sculpted. The bruise under his left eye was because of me. The burst blood vessel at the corner of his right lip was also because of me. His disheveled shirt, his closer proximity, his large hand still tightly gripping mine.e45a92b755031d7a

All because of 6d6dc9cc1b me, for me.a17e65c6805d60ef

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And you were worried about 29a3cac325 me right now.5388823e07190806

I suddenly wanted 8c4d913746 to push my 75636877a4 hand deep inside b040129266 his body. The thought of 628cc6c0f6 parting flesh, parting 98e9a785c2 bone and muscle, c2a2bafc4f going deep inside a30b8754e6 to check on 5aa41c82af you. The wicked thought 93e2c6fa88 of gripping your 337cfc938c heart.9a5f09d8d93d0172

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Because during all 5d42007928 that time you 3b38365583 spent hating me, df15ddd77e trying to ignore db20a113b4 me, resolving not c213462bbc to like me, e86b99ad6c it felt like 38f5343634 I had filled 1dba2270ef you up instead. So it felt like there 9df3ecb187 was more of me inside 0ebe38e378 you than you thought. Like a significant part of 0068edfb27 you was made up of fa8688bf5c me.690b14ded277aab9