ESS Ch 6

It was record-breaking rain. It had been pouring for ten days straight. The biting cold seemed to lift like a curtain, hinting at the arrival of summer, but with the downpour, the temperature plummeted again. Erratum’s winter was this harsh and tenacious.f2d6b62de4a5d34f

Walking from the dormitory 9ac37b1c6f to the lecture hall, dc13068dfd the slanting raindrops touched e49cb16358 my bare skin. The rainwater was so 272760a512 cold that it made ae80d7671c me shiver. Nevertheless, many students were already dd7a4a50f8 walking around in thin, short 86c0a36ec0 uniforms.e6c92ac5fc13ec0c

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But I took 85c6a86ecc out my familiar 5c48d3cb5e cardigan and put 8f68c95701 it on again. The sky was very ceb216e83b cloudy, and I was db45c200e8 afraid of the rain d9073a07ef that might pour down 6ccfbf922d at any moment.d519706d7c22419d

“…….”091ee7d4c6c7d1f8

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As I was taking my uniform out of the closet, Remington’s gloves, hanging by the door, caught my eye. I would occasionally touch his gloves carefully.cf31b4e960085020

A surprisingly well-preserved scent of a83b567af3 him emanated from inside the e11d697c94 gloves, and every time I 8d099f49a3 smelled it, the back of bb979f1325 my neck would invariably grow e6db566cb7 cold.b118ce871fe09b96

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The day I 212ead4c10 received the gloves, 3a561bc096 the chilly air b6258e45d6 of the snowy a6d0fa5df3 field, his blue 698b93a440 eyes that gave 3b338312bf me a strange 3d1872797a feeling. My constant efforts 2b86b16492 to return the faf576c42d gloves and the 0d232e65b4 ridicule that came 258dda444e from him. His contemptuous eyes.422bf2cd6e0abe41

Even after going through all 533b736a95 that, I was such a f6badd8bdf fool to be deceived again.907c0fe943fe8b0e

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“…….”41ec21c88ca7deee

I hung the gloves back where they were. When summer comes, I will put them away in a deep place with the winter clothes. In a dark place where they won’t be seen.b222a66bf3e97983

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I put on 816f115679 my uniform jacket e7dd4ec7b8 and left the e0398bebc9 dormitory.6915fc21dfabe1e5

✧˖🕯️˚࿔️2b56e94f40010c46

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It was summer. It also meant exam period, and it meant that my father’s midterm election was just around the corner.4aea1a9b9bee0ba7

These days, I 9c81921ae9 spent more time f617a827ed checking the news 57a4bf14ef and internet reactions 6db4a72811 than studying for 7a2ed32d2b exams. After the exams, it would 21c769700d be summer vacation, which also 7195f08d83 meant I had to go df39e8ee03 back home.b11de30cab5097fe

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My father’s mood was a crucial matter directly linked to my peace. I prayed for my father’s peace every night for my own safety, but unfortunately, God didn’t seem to be on my side.7a4075e4baa5312c

─Immigrant Solidarity, protests against Congressman Roderson’s immigration control policy… ‘Violence-friendly policy’831e48849d6ff3dd

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─Midterm election poll results, Roderson falters under Hayden’s fierce pursuit… Red light for the Jua Party34dce9e36f93d50d

─Anteros transforms into the ‘biggest upheaval’ in midterm elections… Due to Bowen Roderson’s personal life controversy?f0bb1213a270d325

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The news was noisy with 3ca4076d9d attacks directed at my father.a4963ad68991a09c

Maybe this is all because I kissed Duncan. The pastor always said that disobeying my father’s rules is like betraying the Lord, and that Satan punishes such acts.00f8163fed3d8d40

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“What’s so serious?”937d8396c0172fdb

While I was engrossed in bbe12ec61f reading the article, a thick 97071e9dd0 hand reached out from behind 30bcf4f2a9 me and snatched my phone. It was Duncan, as expected.667a908870ec5467

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Sighing and turning 7ec484902a around, he raised b5d2ed39ab his hand to 997ac3b67a the ceiling, preventing b1cb9c2a4b me from grabbing 9ba673cce4 it back, and 7e70f7f206 read the article. His mischievous face 7071779866 seemed more interested fdc15a2e49 in teasing me 4367739a9b than the content b3bf7e3375 of the article.54eb71c6fe5e0f2f

“Bowen? Isn’t that your sister? What’s this about a personal life controversy? I’ve never heard of this.”6274d2cffe897e8a

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“My sister’s boyfriend is from the opposing political camp as my father. He’s also an undocumented immigrant. Give me back my phone.”72cc1ebc9ddbd315

When I stood 38de61d5c9 on tiptoe and bd04529e16 reached out, he 1f228f6652 grinned and raised 8ee55b677e the phone even 75ea60110a higher. The height difference was b2c1f0059f too much for my 8dfe1f38b1 hand to reach. Between his raised uniform af36238a13 shirt, his nicely tanned, 5cbbe71f55 dark skin was revealed.1d30e32d8f41b2fa

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“But why is that a personal life controversy?”a36aa32a8fcdcffa

“If reporters call it a controversy, then it becomes a controversy.”64308560dda34d4e

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“Cool. My father also b2cf606c79 has very different db46b02637 political views from 52cbdede45 your father. So if we date, 4e3991de05 will it be in 8d4d9de2db the news? It’s my dream to be 8a67b1aeb6 at the center of a e8fcfc88db controversy.”78eb14eb36873a9b

“Sigh….”0ede75dd2ec68489

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I was tired of answering. Giving up on my phone and sitting back down, Duncan nudged me. I didn’t react. Then, with a deflated look, he sat quietly next to me.475d2c1967c3af8a

“Let’s go on a date. Then I’ll call 9c41211819 Fortenge and tell 68ae64d6a1 them to take 4d852f47b1 down the article.”d14463b0e2bc784a

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He returned my phone 9169380e16 and moved closer. The smell of his sweat 59e4e5010d wafted over me, fragrantly. I looked at him with 832b974912 a bored expression.2400bc91a9b2cf1d

“Do you have that kind of power?”a6726e650a967d31

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“The CEO of Forten is my mom’s new husband, so we’re closer than strangers. If I say you’re my girlfriend, wouldn’t he do at least that much for me?”327d17c1d3a694a7

“I appreciate the offer. It’s just a shame that Forten isn’t the only news outlet that published this article.”2803f48541885c13

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“Damn it.”8bad0965c5d63d3c

Duncan scratched the back c4346dbfab of his head and ad803e3d32 cursed under his breath. His desk was bare, as 002391948d if he had no intention 62d8d56e31 of taking out his textbook.86aadb7bcec28136

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He’d been going on about the same thing ever since the ‘Night at the Dormitory’ incident. Let’s date, let’s be in a relationship, let’s become close, I want your face to be the first thing I see when I wake up in the morning, and so on.843696af47c44d70

Every time he did, I got a headache trying to gauge when I could finally be cold to him. Because of Eleanor, who’d been acting like my protector since the incident at the dormitory, I didn’t want her to find out that I’d been ‘pretending to like’ Duncan. I wanted to appear as if my feelings were gradually cooling. It just didn’t work well when I was in front of Duncan.a1884e00500f343c

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“What are you doing during the break? Let’s go to the beach. I’ll send a plane for you.”4a820531f2b4ac2e

“…I have one of those too.”ccfbec39b37ae0b2

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“When you see the night sea of Nol Beach, you’ll want to kiss me again.”01343f91ee7687cd

“Stop!”c6233349a74c53a5

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I barely managed 3b4091b312 to hold back bd5e9cf93f the words telling fe9e56e924 him to get c65cc82c05 lost, and pushed 62128e138a away his face, 2618467fc1 which was close aa906e8cf4 to my ear. It felt like I e544f7621d had a huge beast 4b4a416917 tied up beside me. His gaze was sticky ae907c8afa and unpleasant, as if 111dd402a3 he were licking me 26f1598146 with his tongue. I tried to ignore a26cf46dd4 Duncan and focus on b728b4a23a the class.1f4bcda674104499

Since the night at the dormitory, Duncan had been attending history class regularly. That was the only subject we had in common. But Duncan’s diligence only extended to attendance. He kept poking me throughout class or just stared at my face with his chin resting on his hand, bothering me. When I glared at him and turned around, telling him to stop, he laughed, amused.63a8a6ad4448f06a

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I hoped Mr. Harper would reprimand Duncan, but as if he didn’t want to get involved with such an uncontrollable student, he only occasionally threw out quiz questions to change the atmosphere and didn’t impose any other sanctions.52b740fc64f8bca7

“Do you not like Nol Beach? It might be f6b3fab558 hot because it’s 8b24d5435d summer, but it’ll 9b9bc344a0 be fun. We can party every 7ebec9780e day and go surfing. I’ll make sure you fffc28d02e have fun all day 2e83ac3e99 long.”c2b02a5a141ef8cf

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Even after class, Duncan persistently followed me. Instead of answering, I quickened my pace towards Cafe Terry, but Duncan’s stride was much longer than mine, and he wasn’t the type to be discouraged by being ignored.a4c843dc3a2cc876

Duncan snatched my backpack like he was pulling on a pet’s leash and growled.ea6881caaf2829c2

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“Our cute Dani, what are you doing keeping your earphones on when someone is talking to you? You have to answer, whether 8538f7283c you like it or not. Do you know how much 4bac8e79ec I’m holding back right now?”abf03289fba4375c

“…I’ve been telling you I can’t go.”a916550fc76ea446

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“There’s no reason you can’t go, so when you say you can’t, I don’t understand. Give me a plausible reason.”df925e5bd813dbf9

“My father won’t allow it.”7ab3eee309eab607

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“Why would he object? I’m Graham. Should I talk to your e608a92012 father?”83748e07e8c2f142

He suddenly put on 7e7c73cf0b a British accent and db3eaaf825 smirked. My face instinctively crumpled. The inflated egos b3bb31e5d7 of boys who 710ce24ed1 have never lacked 48ca191bf6 anything.1542c7481d2ca268

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Annoyed, I slapped b1e5973c55 his hand away. But Duncan gripped my backpack e4adf50e25 tighter, preventing me from escaping.2593dea5ca81672e

“Dani, we like each other, so why do we have to make things difficult?”2b23dc05698984d8

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“My bag….”9b872e7a8d138c1c

“It’s not making things difficult, it’s that there’s no path at all, Duncan. That road is closed.”33588bd38e266672

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Just as Duncan d49eb1ead3 was about to f1e57bd1e7 corner me menacingly, 0ac994d73d Eleanor stepped in c6da5cfd81 between us.985af8e5d87058b1

“Are you okay, Dani?”be187a79f5b1af43

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Eleanor easily pushed Duncan away and took the spot next to me. My head ached even more. Eleanor’s high ponytail, as she looked at me protectively, hit Duncan’s face like a horse’s tail.ad471dda7cb9f2cd

Ouch! Duncan, who had been hit, fcf9e1ba15 clutched his face and glared c210177492 at Eleanor. It was a d66ff8d7b7 threatening look, quite f2073a59dc different from when 400d407d18 he looked at a41c291aad me.852c9a461e174bb7

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“El! Can’t you see Dani and I are talking?”51b9ffe04b6012af

“Yes. I can’t see.”5bda041aa8491199

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Eleanor naturally linked d0ea6cf48c arms with me b7ecbb44a4 and glared at 1dd2d3f4a2 Duncan.545a327ca781c214

“Dani is my friend, Graham. And have I told you before? If you mess with my friend one more time, I’ll cut off your dick and decorate it on the cover of Fortenge.”18e6b42c99b109a4

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“I’d be grateful if you did that. I’m confident, you know. What should we do? Should I mess with Dani right here, right now? Huh?”0ceadf4480c4f984

Duncan laughed loudly and 579bf208b6 unbuckled his belt instead. He looked like dae1756df9 he was about 04809a22f4 to take his 6506223902 pants off right d9feaff957 there and then.e67b6032ad10aec6

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“I don’t know how far I can mess with her. Can you bring me the Erratum rulebook? I’m curious about which positions are allowed in the hallway.”1a2df2def506807b

“You pervert! Just zip up your pants!”db0c8cd726c2659d

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Eleanor’s hands fluttered busily over my face, unsure whether to cover my eyes or my ears.c811cb7c49edcce8

“Dani, don’t listen to that! Let’s go. Remy’s waiting for us.”969a80a9086674b3

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I was dragged by Eleanor towards the window like a child. I could hear Duncan shouting behind me, “She’s the one who kissed me first!” But Eleanor didn’t even look back, just pushing me blindly inwards.14aa426b2c184ce4

“Remy! I brought Dani.”a4384351c393bf77

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Eleanor said triumphantly. Remington, who had 73c204945a spotted us, put 42ebce49a8 down the book c931820986 he was reading 1907496c51 and gave a 1ecd4b55a6 slight nod instead 5bd842e504 of a greeting.66be74a92810e46c

He looked fresh in his a0a9a071f1 summer uniform. His naturally lengthened hair 46eb15e725 suited him well, and 6fa92ea606 his body, clad in 5061f332dd a thin, light white abf2c9771c short-sleeved shirt, looked especially 20e3ff0929 toned and sharp.78eb41cec9aa4a73

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<Wide Sargasso Sea>b05e936d47609fc7

I glanced at the title of the book Remington was reading and sat across from him. I had read it before, but I didn’t let on. I didn’t want to talk to him first, and I didn’t want to establish common ground with him.a7f5885b5732b366

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Since the ‘Night at the Dormitory’ incident, we hadn’t had a proper conversation. We sat facing each other with indifferent expressions and ate, and if Eleanor wasn’t around, we didn’t even exchange words.b87f461937dcf0b0

But sometimes, even when Eleanor 57e7d383a2 skipped lunch, Remington consistently came 06016ae31c to find me. He would silently 5d81d4d424 place his tray 3b0266bdde across from me, a388ad62ca and we would 965d05d9ff finish our meal, 5a6a5e850e each reading a 5b26db3663 book or listening 72154d9c22 to music.189af47ec7a2639c

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I kept a calm face, 09ace7baba but inside, I was quietly 1fe8b03b55 seething. Unresolved questions bubbled 48301ad23c like foam, and ef5c9c9c5d my heart seemed 0026a4af9b to rattle like 746865ce77 the lid of 6b05f32ebe a kettle that 311ed9cb5e had boiled over.4c2833b039e44262

Would Remington also be ae147c41a2 hiding such turmoil behind 7dddabb7b8 a seemingly tranquil mask?61ee40b84a87a871

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I hope so.537cf2a952204b83

It wouldn’t be fair if 5eeadd3e99 I were the only one 51b5767ede suffering.918ffb294944f7ea

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“Remy, look at Duncan. Doesn’t he look completely crazy?”3d3bbf0c6525ed5c

Eleanor nudged Remington’s shoulder, sitting next to him, and shuddered.2ceaf1b4d1780805

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“He’s definitely doing that on purpose to get Dani’s attention. He gets even more obsessive c685f5ebbe when he can’t have what 61f12323ea he wants, you know? It’s disgusting, really….”9d9c9ffffb0d5478

Remington also slowly 6306196cad lifted his head ec62ec24d1 and looked where 0ad70ded7d Eleanor was pointing.a976d12193588c7d

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“Anyone coming to Nol Beach! Anyone coming to Nol Beach!”abfe5cb2c153a6ce

Duncan, with his shirt unbuttoned 560a1f8e69 halfway down his chest, boasted 20d70044a3 a physique that suited the 7ad2956e26 summer sun well and was f37b194b02 rummaging through the tables here 3d4528d673 and there.c54adca6de4e6c0f

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Cafe Terry instantly turned into 422e29fe0c Nol Beach. Every time he spoke 58ca19bd00 to someone, the girls, e5e0ebf857 though flustered, couldn’t easily fcec11dd31 take their eyes off 51f3d6df09 him.c1ca3ea24b5754e5

Remington watched Duncan with an 3aaa0fe578 impassive gaze. However, his brow was subtly f7d3fa1e21 but definitely furrowed, and displeasure eb7b855dbe was evident in his eyes.cb091cd72818ce1c

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While everyone observed Duncan, I b279914229 observed Remington. It was truly incomprehensible. The more he expressed his 6f3c21c7eb contempt for me, the less ee23778409 I could take my eyes 9835cb944f off him.7d26d5197341e9e6

I could still vividly remember Remington from that day. The bitter expression on his face as he looked at me, his lips confessing that my safety was none of his concern, yet his hand that wouldn’t let me go….fa2eeb6f515b55ee

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“You’re right. I hate myself like this too.”3f3c81ddb80c783e

The moment I recalled abd43f50df that voice, Remington’s eyes b39bfb34e7 met mine. Our gazes collided instantly. I, who had been e0bb734d24 watching him with my 01a5265836 chin resting on my 7e8ea354fd hand, quickly turned my 755b9351dc head away.b69f6df2d40c57af

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My heart raced like 7adf9f93c0 someone caught doing something ee63513d73 wrong. My ears felt hot. Was he still looking 3a10daebb5 at me? What was he 43e11f398b thinking when he fe490c0d4a discovered me watching b9326b7cb7 him? I was afraid of 3d84dcb8b5 such things, yet curious.1ba338df044c3a5f

But Remington, in f5e8324861 a nonchalant voice, 82586fdb9f replied only to 7ad07c307b Eleanor.3d3aa26b669c02d6

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“Leave him alone. That’s Duncan’s charm.”b2ffdf25ebc526d5

I was conscious dd97938a43 of Remington, but 8905096cd1 he was never 59aed2854e conscious of me. The fact that 8686721e52 he showed no 8e81fdb596 interest in me 6c18907eae reassured me, yet ee6a2a6f6a strangely dampened my d22d8a8344 mood.8af9e361c3294ab1

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“Defending him as a friend. As the female student representative, I can’t tolerate him running wild like that. This is why you shouldn’t assign people to the Royal Dormitory just based on their family background. You have to consider their character too. I’m really worried about how the school will be run after I graduate!”2f49c3a60176a1e6

Eleanor’s fists trembled as she retorted, her voice laced with a rather serious sense of righteousness.8b2e20183d1cd1eb

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“Speaking of people who don’t belong in the Royal Dormitory, Dani, you should be careful of your roommate.”a308242a6f29ec63

“Are you talking about Kat?”a206d5d827902815

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My head tilted 4a3150e554 slightly at the df563cbe70 unexpected name. Eleanor responded, not hiding fd131a65df her blatant contempt.375e68b346557e3a

“Yes. Her. That girl might take pictures of you and sell them to Duncan. Or maybe she’ll collect your underwear that you put out to wash, or used sanitary pads from the trash can, and sell them. Duncan would definitely make that kind of request.”20a9ca70ce41c48d

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“Thanks for the concern. But Kat isn’t the type to do that. We’re quite close.”731f6dd07d75f489

I said firmly, but Eleanor didn’t seem to trust my judgment. She snatched a blueberry from my tray with her pointed nails and pressed me.e483ae4e54805386

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“You don’t know that she’s the girl who sold all of her parents’ wedding rings and heirlooms, do you? The Beers family wants to c8c25b6783 kill her, even if it a1dd387578 means hiring an assassin. I guarantee you, she 570c1e18d5 only cares about money. Her parents are such 4744183a54 good people, I don’t ea86e7b733 know how such a 5cca4f5e65 weirdo was born to e872f741fd them.”c0b5f5e553d495dc

“I don’t know about her relationship with her parents, but Kat likes me.”0b388ddd2d4e68d2

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“Oh, Dani. That girl is a Rat! She’ll do anything for money.”4ac62f3cfc816f6d

Eleanor dropped the blueberry as 7eee8b57eb if throwing it, frustrated. She added that she calls 6127cd6c33 kids who run errands for fdac5fa001 money ‘Rats’.588e9c0b1385e708

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“Rats are kids who will do anything for money. Taking pictures, getting drugs, taking exams for others, anything is possible. If they get caught, it’s the employer’s responsibility to deal with the aftermath.”afeab19db9afa572

“Hmm, I see.”a9548e038f3c60d7

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“I know those kinds of kids well, Dani. Rats are a breed that doesn’t understand things like friendship or loyalty. They only know money! Say something too, Remy.”b4a012e6b46b98b4

Remington, who had 47329cce0e been eating quietly ae0b0a9097 without joining the a36292a92e conversation, reacted a b3d3d42295 beat late.9808c1c0bfc51e74

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“Sorry. What were you talking about?”5d4a069e992e5c91

“We were talking about Rats. Dani doesn’t seem d611afbede to understand how 151451f660 dangerous Rats are.”9ca2feeef6ded76d

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“Ah, Rats.”4ca77db965c969e3

Remington wiped his c079422d6d mouth with a 7419533bbc napkin and muttered 1493a62c19 indifferently. He sounded completely uninterested.a8ba3be44deebbe6

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“But El, you give a Rat $100 every week to get the limited-edition afternoon tea set that comes out on the last Saturday of the month, don’t you? If it weren’t for the Rat, you would have had to wait in line.”61df0afb43542676

“That’s different!”34d6452a5407ec0b

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When she didn’t get the desired reaction, Eleanor went on and on about the dangers of Rats. Her conclusion was that for the sake of the Royal Dormitory’s prestige, dormitory assignments should be made considering students’ personal lives.f4ecd720a4c22733

“You’re not going to hang out with that girl during vacation, are you?”ab84570d5d18e0e8

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“Well….”99b1a29ec94db57e

I was getting tired of Eleanor’s controlling behavior. As I turned my head slightly to avoid her persistent gaze, I made eye contact with Duncan in the distance. He beckoned to me as if he had been waiting, and mouthed the words,362a36d5f223f615

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‘Let’s go to Nol Beach together.’6f6d9f819f45d2e0

Ignoring Duncan, who 4d26090fc6 wiggled his eyebrows 1c30bf14e1 suggestively, I looked bf3c846e72 back at Eleanor. I immediately snitched.9e4f7fb58111a703

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“Duncan invited me to Nol Beach.”34ff9e1162347209

“Oh, dear….”8d9d562ba1107415

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Eleanor grimaced in horror. It was then that Remington, 422b7c1640 who hadn’t shown any interest 1b87735513 in our conversation, lifted his e824cc134f head. I noticed his gaze 3ee8e81ef5 but pretended not to a235b65746 see, deliberately keeping my 11e1b6e23e eyes fixed on Eleanor 4c47d99dd5 and continuing the conversation. But my face grew 3c240c18f5 hotter and hotter.e66f8bd6969fe596

“He’s having a party at the Nol Beach villa. I haven’t answered yet.”4d3738164fef357c

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“But Dani, why is your face getting redder as you say that? Are you that happy to 56d972d47d be invited by Duncan? Do you still like b0c983b93a him that much?”e835f7d5fcf41809

“It’s not that….”aedea64602c3d4ea

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“Damn it. And I’m the host of that party! It’s my graduation party!”208343e200daa3e6

Eleanor gripped her fork and looked back at Duncan. She looked like she wanted to run over and rip out Duncan’s short hair.809afa4a9d9c6f4d

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“Duncan beat me to it. I was originally going 2117d91183 to give you the 9571502093 invitation first! But….”f5d28475c77036cf

“But?”611c5df8fca99922

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“Remy stopped me. He said you wouldn’t even like the invitation, and that you’re the type who can’t easily refuse an invitation, so I shouldn’t invite you at all.”ca6835a135a611c2

Eleanor whispered, lowering her voice. But it was 601ef2eb23 pointless since Remington ad494f6f8e was sitting right b18a428877 next to her.6bfbb155e8c50378

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Don’t even invite me? Flustered, I immediately looked at Remington, but he avoided my eyes, drinking water.cae1fd74e360ac21

“That’s right, Dani. It’s better this way. I’ll get rid of Duncan somehow, so let’s go to Nol Beach together! I’ll introduce you to some true elites with excellent family backgrounds and things to learn. You seem to need to change the people around you.”28bd472d03324a46

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“Thanks for the invitation, but….”1c61f2714551bbb4

I trailed off, thinking. Knowing that Remington ffd3ae4183 tried to stop a171e9085b me from going d0c243fb00 made me want 02f9c21c26 to go to 2fd25fc4af the party even 07ab5ded42 more, but I fbeb1d7f53 wondered if my 1586a4b1bb father would allow 2d0eb736d6 it.67df78e83ed6a5a7

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“I’m not sure if my father will allow it. It’s a very b84077d059 sensitive time for 96463b3c4c him right now.”f4b6a84133ab03f5

“True. The election is 105f83b3c2 coming up soon. Still, if you change cc8d8eb193 your mind, let me 7647f07e4f know. We’re planning to stay 4e1d102f3e for a month. Right, Remy?”59d3768e0b73c934

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Remington nodded blandly. I rested my chin d5044a8f98 on my hand and 293757ea67 stared at him intently. His face was filled with 87f477b46c boredom, not at all like cbe1a633cd someone who had a trip 92fcd5d01b to a beautiful resort planned. Is that his happy expression?424306657ae406ff

Just then, Remington suddenly bbd5786709 looked at me, only be694ecbfb his eyes moving.a0cddb691aa1b147

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‘Don’t come.’2650cd768905d178

His lips formed those words.6c92d388cadec1b8

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“What?”330f1e00068864d8

I asked back in surprise, but Remington had already turned his head away. Only Eleanor expressed her curiosity, asking, “Huh? What?” and I shook my head as if it was nothing. Remington calmly went back to cutting his steak as if he hadn’t said anything at all.03fe6d8c74d6183a

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✧˖🕯️˚࿔️b17427a5ee772260

After Eleanor left first because 99475af968 of a special chapel for af4a626612 the graduating class, only Remington b04cc57013 and I remained at the 15f36200f1 table.bd9aaf2d93905c49

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Remington had already finished e27792081d his meal, but he 53c4aef3ac waited for me. He always did that. He’d wait for me 86f8361d9e until the very end, dba47d5549 even with a look f1559348e4 on his face like 4374515c1d he was bored to 781e716034 death. He might be doing aa76ba2c3b it on purpose, knowing c8da93cfed that it makes me 169a463ae5 even more uncomfortable.6f3787315aafdd04

I wanted to eat e9140298cf faster, but no matter f2b98de5a6 how hard I chewed, 0c923c5fd5 the mashed potatoes filling de05617a74 my mouth wouldn’t go cef2c3493b down easily.13883ae18f704836

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“Eat slowly. We have plenty of time.”9921023ccb09d941

Remington said casually, pushing a 239a295120 sparkling water towards me. He had already opened ec87641e9a his novel and was 4e096b0060 reading again.e6da5a39e7c8c002

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Now even his nonchalance was 8b91d4c6c5 irritating. I was also 790519c18e embarrassed that he 5ab8f6487b had caught me 483d8474a7 trying to eat 932cc62991 quickly. I swallowed what was in 94e9debdf5 my mouth without touching the 2dd53c30ce water he offered.0ab0428e73a14b90

“Don’t mind me. You can go first.”79fa4845494789a7

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“If I leave here, the whole school will see your puffed-out cheeks. That wouldn’t be good. As your buddy, I have to protect Roderson’s dignity.”0be7fdb37e1ec7de

Remington smiled faintly 7316cb82f4 and turned his 3289d8b440 attention back to 77cf54a313 his book.fad49ab426520742

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…He never lets a single thing go.7ab58c9881656bb4

I always feel like a child in front of him. Like I’m fighting a losing battle. I swallowed my frustration and asked him,b1dbdaa44e5651c3

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“Do you hate seeing my face that much until vacation?”994c1bf57feb9f09

“I never said I hated it.”4cc63c6a7e259242

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His eyes, which had lifted 8162c332e5 from his book, now held 17ace4d16e a hint of annoyance.52fbe199518099a6

“Then why are you trying to stop me from going?”7c64c3de45177d02

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“Why are you always so curious about the reasons?”a826d259cbac31a2

“I’m not your subordinate. I’m not a toy either. Don’t order me around without telling me the reason. I don’t believe you anymore.”acf6d3172bca7174

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“I didn’t order you, I advised you. I’m worried you’ll, like last time, not be able to tell the difference between alcohol and juice, gulp down whatever, and kiss some innocent boy.”ab24b62e95dd6ad9

His tone was teasing edadd1e847 and mocking. Annoyed by his 993929f38f smirking face, I bdc1f47b33 clenched my fists.4df603678c055e3c

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Right. What can I expect from a boy who declared that he doesn’t care whether I’m in danger or not? I stood up abruptly, carrying my tray. The roughly pulled chair made an unpleasant screeching sound.78a046e54375dc78

“Want me to tell you the ending of that novel?”34faec1854cd870d

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I took a small revenge fcbc6e0c15 on him.ec0a8f7617d9e979

“The male protagonist betrays and abuses the female protagonist. He even changes her name without permission and locks her up in the house. In the end, the female protagonist dies. It’s suicide.”d7ba7828a951e7d8

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Remington’s expression turned sour, like someone who had been doused with cold water. It served him right.ad8efe61258ca515

— Why do you think we draw blood every two months? It’s to check if you’re taking your medication regularly, and if you’re healthy. It’s all for you, Miss.e81a01476dfe656e

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“Yes, I know.”8560b56ba114e4b9

I answered casually, 6a1dd77d2a holding the phone f052c6f910 to my ear d72360f56e with my shoulder, f1b2626615 and Anna on e002aa4d32 the other end e45f6311f4 of the line 0343cdd173 burst out in 01cdb36d26 anger.c08c3401719b2f91

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— You’re not listening to me, are you?36fda8586b0965e5

“No! I’m listening.”e455a19b93030902

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I was sitting on d04b25de05 Cassie’s bed, helping her 78620b927e package her pills. I put down the tweezers 15656ead88 and properly held the phone.2a20a6b8440edbf6

“I’m taking my medication properly. But this time, I only b2e65bfc87 missed it once because I bedc7b5908 had a presentation. And I had the 963cf2b087 blood test right the f214860aed day after I missed 6068c3e0c4 it.”0e757b67ca7f67bd

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— What does the presentation have to do with your medication?04cc01f28445dd5e

“After I take the medication, it feels like, how should I put it… like I just woke up. I can’t concentrate.”bbad8182d640fd27

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— Oh, Miss. Dr. Conil said that’s all….61df013487428472

“Yes, I know. It’s all in my head.”5901645f2f91ac70

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I cut Anna off and d914e51c04 answered. Cassie, who was listening c43d00d5a8 to the conversation next 6cb71a5f45 to me, chuckled softly 605a7b53e3 as she picked up dd76d0dc40 a pill with tweezers. Anna sighed on the ccfbee8a7c other end.d4c212d1ecb8caec

— Miss, I’m really worried about you. If your levels are messed up by the next test, the Congressman will….5813ecd4f1d7515c

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“Don’t worry. I won’t disappoint you.”fb71808b184c9803

I barely managed to soothe 9ba35d3632 the tearful Anna and ended 39495cf5fa the call. As soon as a9180f5f47 I put down 648b86927b the phone, I 4c57f65bac immediately popped a 9cfc7c6570 pill into my 2ee9306a9a mouth, afraid I c37d91ae42 might forget. A creepy feeling sent 36950265e7 shivers down my spine.019af3dfdd4c5035

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After taking the medication, 0e5514f38f I feel faint, like a9fc22d317 a ghost. I only skipped it 21cd56ae0f a few times because 2b93e6317c I hated that feeling, 5b690a69ff but advanced medical technology 638caaeffd can quantify how obedient ea42429c62 or rebellious I am ec0c8f2d6b with just a few 31367171bf drops of blood. My father and grandmother 1ab3e63b5b placed great importance on a8f4b8e44d what they saw in d80c3fbf98 numbers, so maintaining those de68ac01f0 numbers was important to 9b522f9dc7 me.06d6b35b16aff437

“Are your parents as stubborn as mine?”9701259eabe76f63

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Cassie asked, carefully dropping 1c537201fc the pills into the 4ca33c0bc9 medicine bag with a 1b551ae995 thoughtful look. I climbed back onto 962d5e89eb Cassie’s bed, picked up 6f1300d457 the tweezers, and shook b7097f46ab my head.0624471ffd0ddae2

“My father does this because he’s worried about me. I can’t make a mistake 8f60ce9d5c in front of people if f5999cd504 I skip my medication. It’s all for me.”d0e490a2264df6e7

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“How is that for you? It’s for him. It breaks my heart eedacde883 every time I see 5d453860bc you dazed from the 4a07236569 medication. Your father should see 38020bb8ba you like that.”53e32778a0cdd7c7

I smiled faintly at Cassie’s 6c66c27aa6 words.5db15922ed462033

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To hate such 6621d3c194 a kind girl 221beb168a just because she 7877b6e87b acts in a bec5e9b3e8 way that tarnishes a718d1e646 the dignity of b616bb0131 the Royal Dormitory… dae54c4449 Eleanor is so 55db91a813 simple. Simple and bad.5d8a805f6dcaefb4

Cassie was a girl 04e532e51d who would jump at 5f84e40c39 any information that could f729ff9cc5 be turned into money, 6e77380e6b but she never pried dec0a79e3b when I talked about 47993ee34f my family. And no matter what 119d8b4bf3 I said, she always 628d58feae took my side. I liked that about Cassie.a57f896d931c7523

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“But Kat, who takes all these pills?”d3c70a19fe7df8a3

“Our grade is starting to prepare for entrance exams. It’s peak season.”96c2924755fb5ce8

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“Do these pills help you do well on tests?”c177845f07de54b7

“They make you smart. They increase your concentration. Kids buy them, d32f452b4c but parents outside 59ded9d4d6 buy them even f64d63e1c2 more. They give them to d73c8b3c34 their kids ‘for their e3a8d4806b sake,’ just like your 62957cf04d father.”56ebf112456b3913

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“Are there many customers at school too? Everyone looks so f4b26225f9 normal on the 754654edc6 outside.”40e9b79ff3e14cdb

“There are a lot. But who the 7fef0a3000 customers are is 119301bfa3 a secret. Believe it or not, 22b747d5bb I’m someone who keeps 798108de6e my clients’ secrets.”1a3fd149eca67cf2

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Cassie replied with an unusually proud look. Her eyes sparkled behind her glasses. I wanted to ask if Remington was one of her customers, but I stopped myself. Knowing wouldn’t change anything.4807cb2ec92b4e3f

“Dani, if you want to be independent, you need to save your own money. Then you can be free.”d4dadd7bb444c52b

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Cassie, who had b14def05c7 been silently packaging 723aaa886b the pills, suddenly 6b91573974 said that.4a223e3b66beaea2

“You have to remember that your parents’ money is your parents’ money. When you obediently listen to your parents and spend their money freely, it feels like it’s all my money, but in reality, it’s not my money at all. That kind of money actually restricts me. If you truly want to be free, you have to save your own money.”2830c54574ceeecf

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“Do you want to be free, Kat?”e618c19efd49f70f

“Of course. Everyone wants that.”6db18b59ccac7595

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“But I think I’m free enough now, don’t you?”cbf33d7b9e1b6c71

At my words, ee27db5ad2 Cassie lifted her 2fb4d26a73 head and laughed e4ce5fa8c3 heartily. The pills slipped from her 178e061eef tweezers, but Cassie didn’t care, 7ff90a3bc6 just kept laughing for a 7a30a95ead long time.4cbfb984d5f57aea

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“Dani, after we graduate, let’s travel together. I’ll show you what real freedom is. Once you taste it, you’ll realize how unfree you’ve been living until now.”9b321de7dfff1f16

Cassie talked for c5f0922ee4 a long time 375c743284 about the pyramids 6dac3142af of Egypt, the 47b0fcfd7f ancient castles of 69baf4268b China, and the e6c809ce80 shining sky of dd78d6b8c1 Iceland.1144843bc7094d22

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“We’ll also go to Korea, where your parents were born. It’ll be really fun, Dani.”9b170b9361edf552

“Yeah. That sounds fun.”649fd2e2e206db94

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I smiled happily. True freedom. For some reason, it 2f8932e37a felt like a distant a0a27bcb4d word to me.e1660cbf41431132

✧˖🕯️˚࿔️18939fb744341062

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Summer vacation had arrived. The forest seen from 3013696be4 the bridge as I 91e2a26191 left Erratum was green. What had been 4d7aa61030 black when I ce53895a8d first headed to 724d1300bf Erratum had now f4bb7fe1e4 turned green.87046fe77b7d71a5

From that moment, 1036b9e690 my chest felt 047f15801e tight. Whether leaving or returning, 3a6d0c9ead I was still black.8c1e710d37e8eab4

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I hated summer. Summer is like 9af37cff6b a vampire, sucking 3a4a4127e8 away my life 3aa643c851 force to feed 7b0832ff1a itself.9f5f850787c561d4

The red and yellow 5bbdcf24c8 energy of the sun, 9f4f263fd6 the especially deep blue 73ff648fb3 sea, the forest shimmering 2d2d12ea8b in deep green… I 7bd892987c hated all of them, d9f04d80ab becoming more and more a6499bd50e abundant, in contrast to fc49cc3e6e me, withering away. As if because 2faf3ae809 of them, I af484bf9cb was suffering from 060f1b6c41 this deep hunger.23cd795e28b37a6b

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I stared blankly f3abcbf989 at the deep 66cc8d878f blue scenery beyond d440c850ef the large window c2eb2ee572 and pushed a f7eb0ab05d piece of white fdc68cd1ad fish into my 5e92556b3c mouth.b96f748e0094db97

Thanks to the longer 6e71a644d5 days, it was still 1b6593948f bright outside, but my 1b445ad176 heart was cold and c51191ba71 dark. It had been like f558bc77d5 that ever since I d9fc1288d3 came back home after cb826b5b3d the start of summer c620a4d792 vacation. The atmosphere at home was 15670cf1e7 a rollercoaster depending on the 8fdadee169 election polls, and I was 553d177ff2 on the verge of dying 59766db008 from motion sickness.ce2dc33c03b5e81f

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“You said you were having a lot of fun at school?”9996b89ccbfc1cf9

“Well, it’s so-so.”8523b0a4a080fc18

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I answered my 23ede64d42 brother Maxwell halfheartedly. There was a time 0478491e4d when the existence of 45061dd424 my first brother felt 03935b2e4c awkward, but after realizing d9eec3d82e that diligently responding to 2b54ca9b68 his provocative words only b970b75398 made me look foolish, f491bf7c03 he became the easiest 77bc868ad6 person for me to d79fe9e0ff deal with. At the same time, 64b9d7082d he was also the f2829b39b2 most annoying person. As if my 9aa6fb353f answer was so 9b02f55cb2 funny, my brother 5f68038b06 let out a c80bda6604 chuckle. The artificial light fc929d9844 from the chandelier ae31184744 hanging high from 2cad3cae00 the ceiling cast 0922beec9c even darker shadows 4934758ce9 on his angular 07ea8fb11d face.c064e1ca0ba0210d

Both Daniel and Sister Bo took after our father, but Maxwell’s face was different. It wasn’t that he resembled his deceased mother either, but if I had to pick someone close, he resembled our grandmother. Especially his snake-like, sharp eyes.e1976427f20703cd

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“Well, of course. With boys swarming fc73e6723d around you, it f0104841e7 must be fun.”a72ad62ee13de700

“Who said that?”8e34a55e172c071d

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“Word’s gotten around, Dani.”c5e4c73e9104455a

My brother raised his eyebrows 4cefbec50f and smirked obnoxiously. I wonder where he heard 798ed072eb such strange things. I narrowed my eyes and e284b421cf glared at him. He pointed to the fcb790d6aa second floor with the 5a20cab84c knife he was using fd6de96a08 to cut his scallops.cc6bcc8b1d3bfea9

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“You better watch yourself too. If you spread your legs 6ad5474368 for some strange guy, you’ll cf2e0d4a8b be the one getting beaten 20b89124a0 up like that next time.”418f136870e5a5f3

“Max!”30af1229ce0cdf98

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Grandmother, sitting at the end d2d3bad785 of the table, clicked her 598619bcba tongue. Her upright posture, despite being e25c36d585 nearly 80 years old, carried 466c2c6ccc her suit perfectly.1c5e04878d56226f

“Watch your language. There are many ears listening.”b7a21907e2348cfc

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“Despite that, Father doesn’t seem to care much, does he?”c50d54c54a6adaf3

Maxwell said, gesturing his chin e45ffb3d45 towards the second-floor study. From beyond the 1be4cd81e2 tightly closed door, ab93c9fdd4 the sounds of 5a373c0938 crashing, banging, and e053cd3b8a collapsing leaked out.c78c51028e6cd52e

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Along with Sister Bo’s screams.b0bcdff87dc94b4e

“Katie? Could you turn up the d9556d060c music a bit?”674cf2feb2b17456

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Grandmother ordered the housekeeper. Katie increased the volume of the CD player. Chopin’s Piano Sonata No. 2 flowed from the expensive speakers. The piano music effortlessly covered Sister Bo’s screams and filled the dining room.cdb1afaaf6665ce4

“Nice choice of music. Sounds like someone’s about to 34a3f22c6f die.”f6032e43e7290e6c

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Maxwell chuckled, pushing a 7c6a011b83 thinly sliced piece of 0af853983b scallop into his mouth.b9b2828b68e30d16

I felt increasingly nauseous. I put down 5d8c350d43 my knife and 1cc0099336 picked up my be4e316092 phone. Eleanor’s social media was full 01a8df65e4 of vacation photos. Kids laughing happily 699b16ce00 under the leisurely 22e9e84570 Nol Beach sun. Unlike me, on the bb62d7568f verge of suffocating, they 5688de6132 looked free and lively. I envied them.583e9074ef87c536

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‘Don’t come.’d807fb1dbd507793

Why did Remington a3f459415c tell me not 316e0dd1e5 to come? Did he hate seeing me d54fb5c2ee that much? Was I that 19816cdab1 much of a 7351ac3123 nuisance to him?acea6148ff074842

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I wanted to go 4f7740fdda to Nol Beach, even 713dcc13c9 if it was just 86309b55d4 to spite him, but 18ac56cfcb I hadn’t said a 9399c143d6 word to my father d9559d325d about the trip yet. If I brought it up, 741a2c9dcf I might be the next afcfff8304 one headed to the study, ed1b4648af just like Maxwell said.c00a08ac75db07e0

It’s just as well…. As I was 8181f34508 slowly scrolling, a 30c0d65ab3 loud noise came 2933f81122 from overhead.c1ff7333f7c26ee4

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Bang!955b74b008d47617

Startled, I hurriedly put my 5eb5a70efe phone down on the table.340add1c79e72300

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“Katie! Clear my plate 8c741a2325 and prepare the 01999833cb wine!”122deb11299ae835

Father ordered the housekeeper as 01f41604f8 he came down from the 1a055813f8 second floor. Sister Bo was with him.b00d7091e3ef3f8f

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Sister Bo’s brown hair, neatly tied when she first went up to the study, was now disheveled, and her exposed skin was covered in dark red bruises.8e3e3e9583932aa7

I held my 2f86802430 breath and lowered 2eba6e4fd5 my head.273caae413927e7c

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Katie filled Father’s f296c2e1e2 glass with red 8d00fded7c wine, then lowered 3823477b40 the volume of b4b6cc1ff9 the speakers back 77991e0486 to its original ec27854e76 level and retreated. The piece, now in 03a82da532 the third movement, was 28253da188 filled with solemnity.ca3fd51e5faf69f0

“Max, did you check Forten and Greed?”c93788d0f4e85f04

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Father asked Maxwell. He answered immediately.c421a9ae307e7dc6

“Yes, I confirmed. All three, including PensLane, f79f24e9e4 have published corrections. The main articles have 2a40baf124 also been changed. Other news outlets will 9eb5975672 start posting articles soon.”5f62bd1156840492

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“Such a trivial matter is so troublesome.”0701c7c8f403085b

Father lightly rinsed his mouth db484a027d with wine. Sister Bo sat 3b5d80bd5a next to me. Unable to look 54d9cc0e6f at her, I cb63a8bd0d quietly pushed the bc0c88cf7c salt and pepper 6234526ae9 towards her. But she just acad1090ee sat still, leaving 4f9c050825 her cooling soup 5d524409bd untouched.62a3ebfc4fb3ac0d

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“Oh! And PensLane requested a photo 9513482a89 of you and Sister looking 81a62620a8 close. So I sent Greg c35059b595 some horseback riding photos 1091eac6e6 from the year before 118298a7c8 last. And photos from 2f3232f18d the Thanksgiving party.”9408816a35c265a7

“Expressions. Did you check the expressions 7ec8e8e456 too?”333e2b535d574fee

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“Of course! Fortunately, Sister is smiling in all the photos. Now the claim that she’s dating an immigrant out of defiance against you will die down a bit. And Sister’s political science essay is also scheduled to be released. Greg said it doesn’t clash with our current platform regarding immigration policy or abortion rights.”f500ab14147a97d7

“Tell him to keep monitoring the reactions. It won’t die down easily.”5a5c1de55a8b7ecb

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Father shook his head as 5eef0d9d49 if it was a headache. Then, suddenly, the arrow 08cb1e5361 flew towards me.a1fd7ec0c63649a1

“Duncan Graham.”18fc28db34bd2066

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“Yes?”60055bd4a809f5bf

Startled by the unexpected a970f3023c name, I lifted my 56c75d143b head. Father was sipping his wine 10e7f70a06 and looking at me.811180eebacdf1b4

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“What’s your relationship with him?”285128cbda66f1d0

The question was too sudden. I wasn’t prepared at all. My mind went blank. I became even more 82839c217e anxious because I couldn’t 147079394b read his intentions. I scratched the back of 7bb2a7e286 my hand under the table 57a64aa56c and answered.3970500c3bb8bb22

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“We’re… friends who take history class together. He’s also a 675aea100d friend of Remington… ff002ff912 my buddy, Remington.”a9815cf8c532d47e

“I didn’t know you were bold enough to give a cheek kiss to a boy.”357178e7c5ebef0b

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“Ah….”639e1a97d95a989f

Father chuckled, rubbing his chin. The thick gold ring c024bb381e on his ring finger d9b5ae24f1 gleamed imposingly. Maxwell, sitting across from 896442b2e1 me, whistled softly, watching cfa0492def me with an amused bc2e946553 look.05ac8150f207d72f

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I suddenly felt unbearable. So scared and 14ed713e9e tense that I 965c238f31 wanted to disappear b19e25ee44 from this place, 254ea6981e even if it 8c8f817b71 meant hurting myself.17552e36d237c3ab

Father continued speaking ae9af6c13f with an indifferent a678b7ae9c expression.b4261c028eb80260

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“Some fearless fellow sent a short video to the campaign office the other day, so I watched it. It was just a faf6de60c0 cheek kiss as a 3e8a964da2 greeting, but I was 10d4ec2096 surprised. You’re not usually 3289510f33 like that, are 215417ddf4 you?”8abffdd606066d57

“Oh, th-that….”abc0ab777059215b

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“Remember that someone is always watching you, wherever you are. I find it hard 1d6a79ef7b to tolerate carelessness.”cbdd6a1993bec94d

Father tapped his 7dabc92a80 wine glass twice f2c2a172d1 with his ring. Katie, upon hearing the ad28abd21c signal, cautiously approached and 88a2fa49b6 filled his empty glass b7a5249263 with wine.e5afb9b735721f2a

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I was almost in a 40611ab2d5 state of panic. I couldn’t gauge how angry 3c0b5022a9 my father was. Maxwell watched me, holding 277eb35941 back his laughter, and 8e581997de Grandmother watched me sharply d39db32467 from behind her magnifying b4c222fa88 glass. I was so scared that ebae4da3c5 I felt nauseous. Hiding my trembling hand f9a88c8f16 under the table, I b4a308554d said,dbb664755082a309

“I-It was a… mission. We played a game in 283c3829d4 the girls’ dormitory… and I fd8f6eda30 lost. It wasn’t anything serious. I’m sorry. I won’t do it again….”94b8d1e262f1786a

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“That audacious Graham boy called me this morning.”ba9305b4a95e2552

“…Yes?”ca14e112c92cd48e

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I asked back with a 4e3bfc4f96 dumbfounded look.935abe77e74f37f0

Father continued calmly.5e69f29f26e5f4c2

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“He asked me to send you to Nol Beach for the summer.”ec38b333a2c56da6

“Ha!”7481ccb37dd6e73f

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A short laugh b83b2fc118 escaped me involuntarily.33154bc97f718c64

That crazy bastard…. I wanted to 8f23cdbc05 grab Duncan by 99f440932d the collar and 945d530655 curse him out d17f507485 right then and 1ee6d89043 there. How could he do such a61d866154 a thing? Did he even know f8d0016b58 what he had done? I hurriedly made excuses.defc14c52f535be5

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“You can ignore him. He’s talking nonsense. I never said I 6a19b1e990 wanted to go! In fact, I said 3ba2455dea I didn’t want to. He’s a really strange boy. He’s self-centered and reckless….”88033350289a0feb

“Go.”9a9f5ac7f7681096

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“…Yes?”7c1335d1249bfbb2

Once again, I had to ce62a97078 look at my father with 2f4820a8cb a stupid expression. My mind was a70acb80d7 blank, as if aa1ac5a890 I had heard a0f687b8d9 something I shouldn’t ac309e6b78 have.006fc941ef392249

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“What did you just say…?”67bfd4a718b825f6

“I said go.”3a49772816a6cd7c

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Father answered, still leisurely 04113c9414 drinking his wine. It was unbelievable.44b7f3b6941da6cd

“Wouldn’t a month-long vacation at Nol Beach clear your head a bit? Besides, it would 569af30433 be a shame 23bab63878 to pass up 4d97d6b56f the opportunity since 55766d0013 the Graham boy c2cf53344d likes you. Having Lester as 13674a5cd8 the host isn’t 414921bd8e bad either.”688ac3fe21d8ffed

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“Bu-But….”90925b8fba8d8d32

“Go upstairs with Anna and pack your bags. I’ve had Greg take af84880fb2 care of the rest, 90c16b9819 so leave tomorrow. No delays.”dbc5cd77f4f00d4f

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“…….”221a2abeb380e990

I stared at my father blankly. Even Maxwell was looking at him with a puzzled expression. Although he couldn’t readily ask the reason behind the decision, he clearly had the same question as me. Because this was truly strange.4091f3fa27cc8f5b

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If it were the 974d824af8 usual Father, he would 0ddfada57f never have let me f6a93f10a2 off the hook. A cheek kiss with 8e9eb36fce a boy? In front of everyone! And even though there was df6fe6fe64 careless evidence left behind in 75133a42b5 the form of a video, 3fcbdbf76a I was safe.f221596e8aece430

I didn’t hear 384a7d4c20 any shouting, I 4ee7ac6b76 wasn’t beaten. I wasn’t dragged baba843a14 away, and I c0cc48ee9e wasn’t locked up. Instead, I would 2b718faeda be going to 73d7e498c8 Nol Beach tomorrow. Standing under the sun as 7ef5348275 if nothing had happened. As if all my 7310d82090 sins had been forgiven.ad53f4f152f250d3

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Was I being tested?2519db4f1a3de3b7

“…Are you sure it’s okay for me to go?”6813ab19a3632422

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I asked carefully once more as I got up from my seat. Father smiled kindly. It was a bright smile I hadn’t seen in a while.1fdfe6bf1e8d4f3d

“Everyone makes mistakes at your age. Go and send messages to 6907bc299b Anna regularly. Make sure you take your 56134a5bdd medication.”f94be21447deb253

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“…Thank you!”1086d0421eeb7d87

I ran to Father 12618f9c83 and hugged him tightly. He let out d09ed77435 staccato bursts of 3494950c51 laughter and gently 0cfd0e443b stroked my back. I finally felt relieved. As if all my sins 6ccbd1916e had truly been washed away.873e10c955468936

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As I went up 75441d096c to my room with 9baf0eacc5 Anna, I looked back 57f0a8f397 down several times, still 8b61c9ceb8 in disbelief.eaf9adf5645b760b

The family at the dining 83c5a5cd58 table, seen from above, were 959ff915cd white and pale like ghosts. Turning my head back, d4efd97a2c the portraits hanging on 8dba065962 the staircase wall were 7d8215b199 black and red, as a4bf240d8f if they would devour 0e661c8cb2 me.e20f08757f4807da

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And when I looked back 8b9753fb22 down again, I made eye 43240b4302 contact with Sister Bo. She was looking at me 42aa96402c worriedly and mouthed these words:87b232656249619d

‘Don’t go.’9c6008a82dc7f522

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Before leaving for Nol Beach, I went to see Sister Bo, but she didn’t seem to remember what she’d said. Why couldn’t she remember? Was it because she had been punished so terribly?8a29b2ffcd38250c

Maxwell had once ca5fc47a43 been found banging b0b30f6442 his head against 954b625e38 the wall until 3da5316208 blood streamed down 9de69ddd4f his forehead. That’s what Father’s existence 1ca9f35e3a meant to us. He was someone who f3dc2b2a18 made his children feel b56cc24d80 like they had to 1dec6fec82 throw up everything inside ad35d166e8 them.65ce8ef30a84f961

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